


Sullivan's Pub

by PattRose, Stormwolf_dawn



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Sappy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-20 14:10:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 115
Words: 465,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormwolf_dawn/pseuds/Stormwolf_dawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The entire bullpen gang meet at Sullivan's Pub each week to discuss important topics.  Just kidding, it's pure fluff, most of the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Connor's Classes

Sullivan’s Pub Part 1  
Connor's Class   
Patt 

 

Connor was taking a class and needed to fill out surveys for it. She dialed the bullpen and Jim answered and said, "Ellison." 

"Hey, Ellison, what do you think of meeting with me at Sullivan's bar after work?" 

"What are you up to, Connor?" 

"Nothing. I just need to have all of you fill out these survey's for my class. I get extra credit for everyone that fills one out." 

"So you want me to ask everyone to meet you there tonight? Is that right?" Jim asked with an evil sound in his voice. 

"Yes, Ellison. I need you to ask them all to come. But if you're going to be a prick, then forget it. I'll ask Sandy." 

"Oh settle down, Connor. I'll ask them all to meet you there. What time?" Jim asked. 

"I'm there now. I'm getting everything ready for this. It's got to be taken seriously. Tell everyone that. If they can't do this without making fun, then don't bother coming." Connor grumbled. 

"Jesus, Connor. You want us to come and we have to be serious? Get a grip. We'll be there when we get off." 

"Thanks, Jim. Talk to you later." Hanging the phone up, she smiled at how this was going to be a kick ass assignment. The guys just didn't know it yet. 

Jim got off the telephone and called Blair, Joel, Simon, Brian and Henry into the room. "Can I have everyone's attention?" Jim asked loudly. 

"What?" Simon asked just as loud. 

"Connor needs us for a class project. I think that we should show our support," Jim said smiling. 

Blair walked over and touched Jim's forehead to see if he had a temperature. "No fever," he reported. After the laughter died down, they all finished up their work, so they could stand behind Connor. 

@@@@@ 

When they all got to Sullivan's Pub, Connor had paper's all set for everyone. 

Rafe said, "Shit, I'm not answering these questions. These are personal." 

"Well, it's a class on how people react to things said and done to them. So I need to do this or I'll flunk the course. Please?" Rafe was shocked to see her bat her eyes at him. 

”There are a bunch of questions on this and I need you to answer these as truthfully as you possibly can. And thanks again for coming and showing your support." Connor said. 

As all of the men started looking over the paper, she added, "Oh, and these are things you need to tell me if you've ever said them, or ever had them said to you. Got it?" 

"Do we look stupid, Connor?" Simon said. 

"Ready?" Connor asked. "Let's begin." 

 

But everybody looks funny naked! 

 

Brown: I've never said this, like this would get you to any base at all. Don't know if it's ever been said about me. Boy, I hope not. 

Rafe: Never said it. Never had it said about me. 

Joel: Does it count if I've ever said it? I don't look that great naked? 

Simon: Joel, we could all live without thinking about that. I've never said it or had it said about me. 

Jim: I've never said this, that I remember anyhow. And to my knowledge, it's not been said about me. 

Blair: Well, does it count if we thought it? 

All of the guys and Connor looked at Blair oddly, then they looked over at Jim. Blair saw this and said, "No, I don't mean I say it to Jim. I just meant in general. 

Connor: I think we should move on to the next one. 

 

You woke me up for that? 

Brown: Nope, if they said this I'd kick their ass. 

Rafe: I had someone complain to me once, do I have to say who and what was said? 

Connor: Only if you feel comfortable telling us about it.

Simon: I don’t want to hear it. 

Joel: No, I've never had it said about me either. 

Simon: I don't understand the question. Wake you up for sex? Is that what they're asking? Stop laughing at me, Connor. Am I close? 

Jim: No, no one has said that lately. 

Blair: No one had better be saying that to you lately, or I'll kick 'your' ass. 

Connor: Next one is up. 

 

Did I mention the video camera? 

 

Brown: Shit, no! I would never do anything that sleazy. 

Rafe: Why do you think that's sleazy? 

Brown: Shit, Rafe, please tell me you don't videotape your sexual conquests. 

Rafe: All right, I won't tell you. 

Joel: I don't even let anyone near me with a camera if I have my shirt off. 

Simon: Again, Joel, we don't need that visual in our heads. 

Jim: Hey, Joel, don't worry, I've felt that way from time to time. 

Blair: You want to take pictures of Joel with his shirt off? 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Blair: Later, Jim. Not here. 

Simon: Are we going to get on with this or what? 

Connor: I've never seen such goofy men in my life. Just answer the damn questions or we'll be here all damn night long. 

 

(In a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead... 

Brown: Nope, never have done it in a closet. Guess that would be for the gay guys. 

Rafe: Good one, Brown. Hey, Jim, you guys ever done it in the closet? 

Jim: As a matter of fact, there aren't many places we don't do it, shit head. 

Blair: Jim, calm down. No, we've never done it in the closet... yet. 

Simon: Joel, what do you think about this one? 

Joel: I've done it in a closet once. When I was younger. Now I might have a harder time. I need more room to move around. 

Jim: All right, now what do you have to say to that Brown? 

Brown: Joel, was it a guy? 

Joel: No, it was a woman. 

Rafe: Well, so much for that theory. 

Jim: Simon, you never said yes or no.

Simon: Yes, I've done it in a closet. 

Connor: Gentlemen. I don't want you to think I don't appreciate all of this but I think what they wondered is, did you ever say, "How about doing it in the closet?" 

Brown: Hell I've asked, they just wouldn't do it.

Rafe: Yeah, same here. 

Simon: I give up. You mean to say I didn't have to admit to anything before now? 

Jim: But, Simon, it's nice to know that our boss not only asked but also had his way with a woman in a closet. 

Simon: Shut up, Jim. 

Jim: Yes, sir. 

Blair: Does it count if you're thinking about asking someone? 

Jim: You had better be talking about me. 

Blair: Get a grip, Ellison. Of course, it’s going to be you. 

Joel: I might think about it, too. 

Connor: Okay, so we all found out that, you don't have to be gay to want to have sex in the closet. That's a good thing. Jim, now they can't tease you about this. Next question, okay? Have you ever said this? 

 

Try breathing through your nose.

 

Brown: Hell, I've wanted to say that many times, but no, I've never said it. 

Rafe: No, I've never thought to ask that. If they can't breathe right, you're not doing it right. 

Brown: Are you saying I don't know how to do it right? 

Rafe: Henry, of course I'm not saying that. I have no idea if you do it right. 

Simon: Gentlemen, you're supposed to answer the fucking question and move on. My answer is, no, I've never said that. 

Joel: I would never think of saying that. 

Jim: Actually, I think I have said it.

Blair: Yes, you have. 

Simon: All right, that's too fucking much information. We don't want to hear about everyone's sex life. 

Jim: For your information, Simon, Blair and I weren't having sex. He was in pain once and I told him to do that.

Blair: And if you believe that, I have some swamp land to sell cheap. 

Joel: Good one, Blair. 

Blair: Thanks, Joel. He did ask me to do that one night.

Simon: Sandburg. Please. 

Connor: Okay, guys, we're just speeding right along, aren't we? Next question is have you ever said this when getting caught up in the moment? 

 

A little rug burn never hurt anyone! 

 

Brown: Shit, I bet Ellison says this to Hairboy all the time. 

Rafe: Good one, Henry. 

Jim: How the fuck would you know what we say or don't say to each other? 

Blair: Jim, they're kidding. Get a grip. 

Simon: Ellison, it was a joke. 

Joel: I have to agree with Jim. I don't think it was a nice thing to say. 

Jim: Thanks, Joel. I knew I could count on someone to agree with me. Too bad it wasn't the person I thought I would hear it from. 

Blair: Ellison, get a sense of humor. 

Connor: Moving on to the next one, have any of you ever said this or asked this of anyone? 

 

Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant? 

 

Brown: Never. 

Rafe: Me, either. 

Joel: That makes three of us. 

Simon: Wow, we're agreeing on something? 

Jim: Never. (Still pouting from the last question.)

Blair: Nope. 

Connor: Okay, how about this one? 

 

Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? 

 

Brown: I heard Ellison say that to Hairboy the other day when they were in the restroom. 

Jim: Fuck you, Brown. I'm going to kick the shit out of you if you don't knock it off with the slutty gay jokes. 

Brown: Ooohhhh, I'm really scared. 

Rafe: I seem to have heard it once from Ellison in interrogation room 3. 

Jim: Fuck you, too, Rafe. 

Rafe: Not in this life time, Ellison. 

Simon: Gentlemen, do I have to put you in separate rooms for this? 

Joel: Brown and Rafe, you owe Jim an apology. 

Blair: Wait a minute! What about me? 

Jim: Face it, Sandburg, you're laughing about all of it. None of this bothers you anyhow.

Blair: You're going to get it later. 

Simon: We don't want to hear this. 

Blair: Simon, I was talking about kicking his ass. 

Simon: Oh. 

Jim: Where's it written that since you all found out we're gay you can make jokes at our expense? 

Brown: We don't do it to Sandburg. He has a sense of humor. 

Rafe: Yeah, what Henry says. 

Jim: Fuck both of you. 

Brown and Rafe: Not a chance. 

 

Connor: Okay, guys. Settle down. This is going really well. This tells me a lot about all of your personalities. Now have any of you said this next one? 

 

But whipped cream makes me break out. 

 

Joel: I get to answer this one. I have said this one.   
Except I said it wasn't on my new diet. 

Brown: Who was it with? 

Rafe: Yeah, big guy, spill. 

Jim: I think that's no one's business. 

Blair: Yeah, I've said this. 

Jim: Who have you said this to? 

Blair: Jim, I did have a life before you, ya know? 

Simon: I've never said it. Never heard of anyone saying it. I'm learning a great deal here tonight. I think you're all warped. 

Blair: So Brown and Rafe, you never answered. 

Rafe: Nope, never said it. 

Brown: Nope, never said it, either. 

Connor: Wow, that one went well. Now have any of you asked this next one? And second part, has anyone ever answered the second part like this? 

 

Person 1: This is your first time..right? Person 2: Yeah.. today 

 

Brown: Nope, I've never asked that. So, the second part would be no, too. 

Rafe: Yeah, I've asked it, but she just said, no. 

Blair: Oh Rafe, were you disappointed? 

Rafe: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Jim: Don't tell him to shut up. He has as much right to talk as you do, if not more. At least, what he says makes sense. 

Blair: Jim, I don't need you sticking up for me. 

Simon: Jim, answer the question. 

Jim: Yes, I've asked it. 

Simon: And the second part? 

Jim: Geeze, I think this survey's stupid. The person said yes.

Joel: Oh that's so sweet, Jim. I like that you shared that with us. 

Rafe: I don't. Holy shit! Sandburg was a virgin. 

Blair: He wasn't talking about me. 

Brown: Yeah, right. 

Rafe: Now, Ellison, did they mean, yes, they were a virgin, or yeah, today? 

Brown: Oh, good one, Rafe. 

Jim: Assholes. 

Rafe: Speaking of assholes... 

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Rafe: I told you no way. Simon, are you listening to him threaten me? 

Simon: Rafe, if I was him, I'd kill you and bury the body.

Rafe: Thanks, sir. 

Brown: Hairboy, what about you? 

Blair: Yeah, I've asked it. They didn't say, yeah, today, but they did say yeah. 

Joel: Blair, that's so sweet. 

Blair: What about you, Joel? 

Joel: I've never asked it. Sorry. 

Connor: Well, that went well. Now have any of you asked this next one? 

 

Wanna meet in the No Tell Motel? Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour! 

 

Brown: Oh yeah, I've said this one. 

Jim: You would. You're such an ass. 

Rafe: Oh, like you've never said this, Ellison. 

Jim: I haven't. 

Joel: I haven't either, Jim. 

Jim: I wouldn't have believed it of you, either, Joel. 

Simon: I might have asked it a few times when I was young.

Blair: I've asked it many times. 

Jim: Sandburg, why don't you just tell them what a slut you were. 

Blair: Are, Jim. Are. 

Rafe: Woo Hoo, Sandburg, something you want to share with us. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Connor: We're getting off the subject again, fellas. Let's try to stay focused so we can all go home. How about this next one? 

 

Can you please pass me the remote control? 

 

Brown: Nope, never said that one. 

Rafe: Hell, I don't even know where my remote is. 

Joel: I would never choose a remote over a good woman. 

Simon: I might have. 

Jim: I really don't think I've said this one. Chief, stop laughing. 

Blair: Jim, you say this all the time. 

Rafe: How about you, Sandburg? 

Blair: Nope, I've never thought about the remote control during or after sex. 

Brown: Oh shit, is that what the question meant. Well, then, yeah, I've said that a few times. 

Rafe: Me, too. 

Simon: Me, too. 

Joel: I still haven't. 

Jim: I guess I have.

Blair: You had better own up to it. 

Rafe: You're so whipped, Ellison. 

Brown: We know who takes over the remote control in your house. 

Jim: Fuck you both. 

Rafe and Brown: Not a chance. 

Connor: Okay, let's move on to the next one. 

 

Have you ever fallen asleep during sex? 

 

Brown: Never. 

Rafe: Never. 

Joel: Once. 

Simon: A few times. Hey, I was on double shifts and I was tired. 

Jim: No. 

Blair: Yes. 

Rafe: With Jim? 

Brown: Oh, do tell, Sandburg. 

Jim: Again, like he's going to tell you anything. 

Blair: Well one night, I was pulling an all nighter at the U and... 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: Hey, it wasn't even you. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: What? Connor, what did I say? 

Connor: Chances are he doesn't want to hear about your former love life. Would that be it, Jim? 

Jim: Yes, that would be it, Connor. Thank you for understanding. 

Rafe: Man, you are such a wuss puss. 

Brown: Meow. Meow. 

Simon: Jim, sit back down and finish this. Jesus, I feel like a high school teacher called in to stop a fight. 

 

Connor: How about this next one? Anyone ever said this? 

 

On second thought, let's turn off the lights. 

 

Brown: I said this once but in my defense... I was drunk. 

Jim: You would, Brown. 

Rafe: Hey, what do you mean by that, Ellison? 

Jim: I've never said it. I've never even thought it. 

Blair: I might have thought it but never said it. What? Jim quit giving me those looks. 

Joel: I've never said it or thought it. 

Simon: I've never said it, either. I might have thought it once. Just once. And I can't blame drinking. 

Brown: Do you suppose that any women would have thought this about us? 

Rafe: Nah. 

Jim: Maybe, who knows? 

Joel: Connor, you're a woman, what do you think? 

Connor: Well, thank you for noticing, Joel. Yes, there have been a few times when I was first in a relationship that I wanted to not look at the man's best friend. 

Jim: Your date brought a friend? 

Blair: She's talking about his cock, Jim. 

Jim: Oh. 

Rafe: Women don't want to look at it? 

Connor: No, that isn't what I said. When it's the first time, it's weird. You don't want it staring at you. 

Blair: Well, I know that when I first slept with J... Ow,   
Jim. That hurt. 

Jim: I'll fucking show you pain if you don't shut up now. 

Blair: I was talking about someone else.

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: Okay, will do.

Rafe: Oh shit, Sandburg's pussy whipped, too. 

Connor: I really hate that saying, Rafe.

Rafe: Who cares, Connor? 

Brown: Yeah, Connor, why are you in this anyhow? 

Connor: Okay, gents, calm down and let's move on. Have any of you said this one? 

 

And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend! 

 

Brown: Yeah, once, I did say this. Really, I did. She slapped me and left. Man, that sucked. 

Rafe: Nope, I've never said that. I was smarter than you, Henry. 

Brown: Shut up, Rafe. 

Joel: No, I never would have said that. 

Simon: I wouldn't have said it either. I might have thought it once on a double date but I never said it. 

Joel: Hell, I never even thought it. 

Blair: Joel, sometimes you're just too sweet. You know? 

Jim: Sandburg? Like that's a bad thing? 

Blair: Shove it, Jim. 

Jim: You wish. But believe me, you're not going to see any shoving for a really long time. 

Blair: Like I care. 

Simon: Okay, this isn't supposed to piss everyone off. This is supposed to be helping Connor. 

Connor: Sir, it's helping. Everyone’s answers are all helping with this survey. We'll move to the next one and try to get this over with. Has anyone ever used this lame come-on-line? 

 

So much for mouth-to-mouth. 

 

Brown: Nope. 

Rafe: Nope. 

Joel: Never. 

Simon: I see one that we might all agree on? I never have, either. 

Jim: Nope. 

Blair: Well, actually, I did use this once in college. Hey, stop staring. I was young. Shit, I was probably only 17 or 18. I was a kid. Give me a break.

Jim: I'll show you a break. 

Blair: Oh shut up. You know you'd never hurt me. Well, unless I really want it. 

Simon: Way too much information, Sandburg.

Jim: Sandburg, what the hell're you doing? 

Blair: I was kidding with them, Jim. Like a joke. See, Brown and Rafe are laughing. They have what's called a sense of humor. Theirs wasn't removed. 

Jim: You're treading on thin ice, Sandburg. 

Blair: Screw you, big boy. (Blows a raspberry in the air.)

Jim: Well that was attractive, Sandburg. 

Connor: Okay, anyone willing to move on? Right, I figured you would want to. Here we go. Has anyone ever said this? 

 

Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober... 

 

Brown: I never said it but I did think it. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Jim: Why would you all sleep with someone you weren't attracted to? 

Blair: Because sometimes when you're drunk you lose sight of what's important. 

Jim: Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better about us, Sandburg. 

Blair: Jim, this is a fucking survey. Calm down. Don't get so upset. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. Upset's something little old ladies do. 

Connor: Jim, that was uncalled for. 

Jim: Sorry, Connor. I forgot you were old. 

Connor: Fuck you, Ellison. 

Jim: On a good day... you wish. 

Simon: Okay, let's get this back on track. You're all driving me insane. 

Joel: I've never said or thought that. 

Rafe: Geeze, Joel, what a Boy Scout.

Joel: Well, fuck you, Rafe. 

Brown: Man, this is getting better than WWF. 

Jim: I'll show you, WWF. 

Simon: Jim, sit back down and shut up. Connor, get this show on the road. 

Connor: Well, this is going rather smoothly, wouldn't you say, men? Who's ever asked this of a date or loved one? 

 

Do you get any premium movie channels? 

 

Brown: I don't see anything wrong with this one? 

Rafe: I think Connor means during sex or right after sex, Brown. 

Brown: So? 

Joel: No, I've never asked this. 

Simon: I might have. 

Jim: I might have. 

Blair: You have.

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg.

Blair: The truth hurts, don't it? 

Connor: All right you two. Sit further apart and stop fighting. This is supposed to help my studies. Now, let's move on to the next one. 

 

Connor: Have you ever asked a partner to use something from the kitchen? Like peanut butter? Something like that? 

Brown: Yup. I ask, they won't. 

Rafe: I've talked a few people into using things. 

Joel: Yes, I've done this. What? Why's everyone staring at me? 

Simon: No, I never have. 

Jim: Yeah, I have. 

Brown: Sandburg, spill, what did you use? 

Rafe: Come on, Hairboy, you know you want to share. We can see how pissed off you are at him. 

Jim: Blair, don't you dare. 

Blair: I wasn't going to tell them anything about your fettish for chocolate sauce. So don't worry. 

Jim: Sandburg... 

Blair: What??? 

Connor: Guys, we're getting close to the end. So let's finish. Have any of you guys said this to your partner, lover or whatever? 

 

But I just brushed my teeth... 

 

Brown: I might have. 

Rafe: I don't even get this one. 

Brown: You know how they like to be eaten out? Well, sometimes I don't feel like it so I say, I just brushed my teeth. 

Connor: You're disgusting, Brown. 

Rafe: Man, I never thought of that. And this works. 

Joel: Well, I've never used that line because I like to do it. 

Simon: You would, Joel. 

Joel: Simon, you don't care to do that to a woman? 

Simon: When I feel like it, maybe. 

Jim: I've never said it. 

Blair: No, we say, man, I need to brush my teeth now. 

Simon: Oh for Christ's sake. That's way more than I wanted to know about anything. 

Jim: Chief, shut up. 

Blair: It's a joke, Jim. Again, get that stick out of your ass. 

Jim: It's going to be the only thing in my ass for a good long time. 

Brown: I told you, Rafe. I knew he was a bottom boy. 

Rafe: I never would have believed it. 

Simon: Could we please move on? I'm nauseous! 

Connor: Okay, this is one that you all might find amusing. Well, except for Jim. He doesn't have a sense of humor. 

 

I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs! 

 

Brown: Hell, I've said this many times. 

Rafe: Me, too. 

Joel: Me, too. What? 

Simon: I've never said this. 

Jim: I've said it once or twice. 

Blair: Hey, don't look at me. He must be locking someone else up in his off time. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Blair: Not a chance, Ellison. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said this one? Or has your partner ever said this? 

 

I want a baby! 

 

Brown: Shit, no! 

Rafe: Thank god, no. 

Joel: Yeah, I've been asked. 

Simon: I was asked and gave at the office. 

Joel: Cute, Simon. 

Simon: Well, he was conceived at the office. 

Blair: Yeah, I've asked. Is it written somewhere that the guy can't ask?

Jim: Yes, it's been asked. I never said it. 

Brown: So what'd you tell him, Ellison? 

Jim: None of your business. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said this aloud and meant it? Or have you only thought it? Or have you never thought or said it? 

So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies! 

 

Brown: I've never said it but did think it a couple of times. 

Rafe: I've never really said it. 

Brown: But did you think about it? 

Rafe: I don't think so, Brown. 

Joel: I've never thought it or said it. 

Simon: I'm a smart man, I've never said it. But I might have thought it a few times. 

Jim: I've never said or thought it. 

Blair: I thought it once and meant it. I mean, I really meant it. 

Brown: Man, Big Boy Ellison is going to cry. 

Rafe: Want a Kleenex, Ellison? 

Simon: Sandburg, that was a nice thing to say. 

Joel: Now that's the Blair and Jim we know and love. 

Jim: I love you, Chief. 

Blair: I love you, too. 

Simon: God, let's get this over with. They're getting those sappy looks on their faces again. Geeze. 

Connor: Who's ever said this? 

 

When's this supposed to feel good? 

 

Brown: I've never said this. I know when it feels good. And I make my lady friends feel good too. 

Connor: If I was dating you, and you called me a lady friend, I'd never feel good. 

Brown: Shut up, Connor. You're not supposed to be saying anything. 

Rafe: I've never said this either. 

Joel: I haven't either. 

Simon: Okay, so far so good. 

Jim: I've never said this. 

Blair: I might have said it a few times. 

Simon: Oh Jesus, Sandburg, couldn't you have just left this one alone? 

Jim: Sir? 

Simon: He's talking about you, Ellison. 

Jim: You wondered when it would feel good? 

Blair: Well, at first. You know. 

Jim: Why didn't you say anything. 

Brown: I'm gagging here, Ellison. Do you want to shut up now? 

Jim: Brown, you shut up. 

Simon: You both shut up. Connor, come finish this soon. 

 

Connor: Have you ever asked this? And if you did, what was the reaction. 

You're good enough to do this for a living! 

 

Brown: Do I look stupid? 

Jim: As a matter of fact… 

Brown: Fuck you, Ellison. 

Jim: You wish. 

Brown: Gross. 

Rafe: I've never asked this. 

Joel: I haven't either. 

Simon: Good, this is going smoothly. I've never said it either. 

Blair: Nope, never said it. Thought it though. 

Rafe: Sandburg, shut up. Don't even go there. 

Jim: I've never said it. 

 

Connor: Okay, this is an important one. How many of you have asked this question, or had it asked of you? 

Is that blood on the headboard? 

 

Brown: I don't even get this one. 

Rafe: I think maybe from pounding them into the headboard causing a crack in the head? I'm not sure. Let's ask Ellison. He probably knows all about blood on the headboard. 

Jim: Shut up. 

Blair: That's enough, Rafe. No, we've never asked that. 

Simon: Thank God. 

Blair: I mean, why would we ask, we'd already know, wouldn't we? 

Simon: Shit, I knew it was going too easily on this one.

Joel: I've never asked this. 

Jim: Chief, that's enough. 

Blair: Yes, Tarzan. 

 

Connor: Have you ever had a woman ask this? 

Did I remember to take my pill? 

 

Brown: Yes, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. 

Rafe: Never, thank god. 

Jim: Yeah, I've had it asked. 

Blair: Lately? 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: You shut up. 

Joel: Is this like foreplay? 

Simon: Joel, don't encourage them. 

Blair: Yeah, I've had a few women ask that. 

 

Connor: Have any of you ever asked this one. 

I wish we got the Playboy channel... 

 

Brown: Well, shit, we know what Jim and Blair are going to say. 

Jim: Yes, I have asked this. 

Brown: No shit? 

Blair: When? 

Jim: Never mind. 

Blair: You have not. You're just saying that. You don't want your pals to think you're less of a man. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: Make me. 

Simon: All right you two. Sit down, Jim. 

Joel: I've never said this. 

Simon: Neither have I. 

Blair: I've never even thought it. I was always too busy. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Simon: Hush, Ellison. He's entitled to his opinion, just as you are. 

 

Connor: Has anyone ever asked this one? 

I told you it wouldn't work without batteries! 

 

Brown: Shit another one with Blair written all over it. I could just see him trying anything once. 

Rafe: Me, too. 

Jim: When did this become let's discuss Jim and Blair's sex life? 

Simon: Don't let them bother you, Jim. 

Joel: I've never asked it. 

Jim: I've never thought it or asked it. 

Blair: I think he doth protest too much. 

Simon: Sandburg, if you know what's good for you, you'll shut that big mouth of yours. I'd hate to have to arrest Jim. 

 

Connor: Have you ever had a partner or lover say this to you? Or have you ever thought of saying it to them? 

No, really... I do this part better myself! 

 

Brown: No, never. 

Rafe: Nope. 

Joel: No, not that I remember. 

Simon: No. 

Jim: No. 

Blair: A few times. 

Brown: Spill. 

Rafe: Come on, Sandburg, what are you talking about? 

Blair: Connor, go on with the next one. 

Jim: Chief, is this meant towards me? 

Blair: I knew you'd think it was about you. Everything is always about you. 

Simon: Connor? 

 

Connor: Have you ever said or thought this to yourself? 

It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate! 

 

Brown: No. 

Rafe: No. 

Joel: I don't think so. 

Brown: Well, you either have or you haven't, Joel. 

Joel: I don't think I have. 

Brown: He has. 

Rafe: Yup, he's thought it. 

Jim: I've never said it or thought it. 

Blair: I think that all the time. 

Simon: I've never said it or thought it. 

Brown: What do you mean, Sandburg? 

Blair: I just think that sometimes. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said or thought this? 

This would be more fun with a few more people... 

 

Brown: Hell, yes! 

Rafe: Thought it, many times. 

Joel: No, never have. 

Simon: Thought it. 

Jim: Never even thought about it. 

Blair: I can't even handle the one I have. 

Simon: Sandburg. 

Blair: What? 

Joel: Well, I think it was sweet.

 

Connor: Have you ever said or thought this? 

You're almost as good as my ex! 

 

Brown: Nope. 

Rafe: I'm not stupid, man. 

Joel: No. 

Simon: I thought it once when I wasn't over Joan. 

Joel: Simon, that's sweet. 

Simon: Shut up, Joel. I can't believe I just said that. 

Jim: I've never thought it or said it. 

Rafe: You're such a boy scout, too, Ellison. You and Joel ought to be the couple. 

Blair: Hey, I've never thought of it either. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said this to the person you were with? 

Perhaps you're just out of practice. 

 

Brown: A few times. 

Rafe: Yeah, a couple of times. 

Joel: I can't believe you would say that to someone.

Simon: I can't either, Joel. 

Jim: I would never say that. It would be a major lie.

Blair: Man, that was so nice. Thanks. 

Rafe: Ellison, you're such a wuss. 

Blair: Shut the fuck up, Rafe or I'll tell everyone what happened two weeks ago. 

Simon: What happened? 

Blair: No, I'll wait and see if he shuts up. 

Rafe: Fine, you blackmailer. 

Jim: What's he talking about, Chief? 

Blair: Nothing bad, Jim. Don't worry. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said or thought this? 

Now I know why he/she dumped you... 

 

Brown: Hell, yes! 

Rafe: Maybe. 

Joel: Never. 

Simon: Not really. 

Jim: I've wondered this many times over the years. 

Blair: You really wondered why someone dumped the person you were with? 

Jim: No, I wondered how come they could dump you. 

Blair: Man, you're such a fucking romantic. I love that in a man. 

Joel: Who said romance was dead. 

Brown: I wish it was. Geeze, Ellison, you give us all a bad name. 

Jim: Suck it up, Brown. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said or thought this? 

You give me reason to conclude that foreplay's overrated. 

 

Brown: I might have. 

Rafe: I don't think so. 

Joel: Never. 

Simon: I don't think so. 

Jim: I would never have a reason to say this. 

Blair: Neither would I. 

Connor: You two are too cute for words. 

Blair: Shut up, Connor. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said or thought this of any date you've been on. Whether it be for friendship or love. 

And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner! 

 

Brown: No, never said this. 

Rafe: Me, either. 

Joel: Nope. 

Simon: No.

Jim: Never.

Blair: Never. 

 

Connor: Have you ever asked this of a person on the first date? 

What are you planning to make for breakfast? 

 

Brown: Yeah, a few times. 

Rafe: All the time. 

Joel: I would never think to ask that. 

Simon: No, I wouldn't ask it either.

Jim: I wouldn't ask it. 

Blair: I did ask it. 

Jim: Oh yeah. 

Blair: You remember, eh? 

Jim: How could I forget? Our first night. It was something to remember. 

Simon: As much as we'd love to stroll down memory lane with you two, we have things to do here. So shut up.

 

Connor: Have you ever asked this of your date or lover? 

Were you, by any chance, repressed as a child? 

 

Brown: No, but boy does this sound like Jim or what? 

Rafe: It does, doesn't it? 

Blair: Rafe, do I need to tell everyone? 

Rafe: I was joking. 

Jim: I want to know what the hell he said that you're holding over his head now. 

Blair: It's not a big deal, just something a little embarrassing. 

Jim: Then it's no problem to tell us. 

Blair: Let me make him sweat it out a little more. 

Simon: This does sound like you, Jim. 

Jim: Why? Does everyone know I'm repressed? 

Connor: DUH.

Jim: Connor, you're the moderator. You're not supposed to be in this at all.

Blair: Jim might be repressed but it has nothing to do with sex. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said this to a woman, or SO? 

I really hate women who actually think sex means something! 

 

Brown: I might have. 

Rafe: I don't think so. 

Joel: No, I never have. 

Simon: I've never said it. 

Jim: I think this way so I would never say it. 

Joel: I think that way too, Jim. 

Brown: You're giving us way too much ammo, Joel.

Jim: Stop picking on Joel. 

Joel: It's okay. I know they're joking. 

Simon: I've never said this. 

Blair: I've never said this and I totally agree with Jim and Joel. 

 

Connor: Have you ever asked this? 

Did you come yet, dear? 

 

Brown: Yeah, I've asked a few times. 

Rafe: No, never have. 

Joel: No. Never needed to. 

Simon: All right, Joel. I've never needed to, either. 

Jim: I know when he comes. 

Simon: Ellison. 

Jim: What? It's not like he could fake it.

Blair: Why would I want to when the real thing's so easy and fun?

Brown: Did anyone bring their boots? It's getting deep in here. 

 

Connor: Have you ever asked this and what was the response? 

I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about... 

 

Brown: I know better. 

Rafe: Nope, never asked. I was afraid it wouldn't be me. 

Joel: I've never even thought about it. 

Simon: I've never thought about it, either. 

Jim: I tell him all the time and he tells me. 

Blair: Yup, that's the truth. 

Connor: You guys are so cute.

 

Connor: Have you ever asked or wondered this? 

Does this count as a date? 

 

Brown: Asked and wondered. 

Rafe: Wondered. 

Joel: Neither. 

Simon: Thought it. 

Jim: Never worry about it. 

Blair: Me, either. 

Connor: Oh man, they're so married. 

Joel: And it's a nice thing, too.

Simon: Are we almost done, Connor? 

 

Connor: Have you ever tried or thought this? 

I think biting is romantic- don't you? 

 

Brown: Man, that's something new to think about. I'm thinking of it now. 

Joel: Why? 

Brown: Something new. 

Joel: I guess I'm just old fashioned. 

Jim: It can be fun, Joel, with the right person. 

Blair: I'll tell ya later, Joel. 

Simon: Geeze, is this ever going to end. And no, I've never wanted to bite someone. 

Rafe: I'm thinking about it now too. Hey, Sandburg, you going to tell me, too? 

Jim: Not a chance, Rafe. 

 

Connor: Have you ever thought or been close to saying it? 

Sorry about the nametag, I'm not very good with names. 

 

Brown: Man, does this sound like a Sandburg one or what?

Rafe: Yup, this has Sandburg written all over it. 

Joel: He didn't date that much. 

Simon: How much is too much? 

Jim: Well, it doesn't matter. He doesn't date anymore. Unless of course, you’re counting me. 

Blair: Of course you count. 

Jim: Good. 

Connor: God, I wish I had a tape recorder so you could listen to each other later. You're so cute. 

Jim: Connor? Are we done? 

Blair: Yeah, hurry it up. I want to go home. 

 

Connor: Have you ever thought or asked this of a partner? 

You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it! 

 

Brown: Thought about it. 

Joel: Thought about it once. 

Simon: Thought about it a few times. 

Rafe: Never really thought about it. 

Jim: Thought about it a few times. And before you give me the look, Chief, I mean before us. 

Blair: I never thought it. And I really don't think it now.

 

Connor: Have you asked this of your partner? 

Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO! 

 

Brown: No. I would never have enough nerve. 

Joel: Yes, I've asked. 

Brown: You're kidding. What did she say? 

Joel: Yes. 

Brown: Man, you've gone in the back door? I've never even asked. 

Joel: It's very pleasurable. 

Rafe: I think it's gross. 

Simon: I've asked but she said no. 

Jim: I've asked and they said no but he said yes. 

Simon: Geeze, we don't want to hear about it. 

Jim: Wait a minute. You didn't say anything when Joel was talking about it. Now you think it's gross or something? 

Simon: Give us a chance to get used to you guys being gay. 

Jim: We're still the same guys.

Simon: Except that now you fuck each other. That's new, right? I mean, you weren't doing that before, right? 

Jim: Simon, why are you being such an asshole? 

Simon: Sorry. I'm just tired. Is this thing ever going to end? 

Blair: I've asked, they said yes, and I asked and he said, "Hell yes!" 

 

Connor: Has anyone ever said this to you, after your performance? 

So that's why they call you MR. Flash! 

 

Brown: No, never. 

Jim: Like you'd admit it. 

Brown: Well, how about you, Ellison? 

Jim: No, me, either. 

Blair: Me, either. 

Simon: Nope. 

Joel: Never. 

Rafe: Maybe once. 

Brown: Why would you admit that. 

Rafe: Shit, I got caught up in the moment. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said this to your lover? 

My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer! 

 

Brown: Do I look stupid? 

Rafe: Nope. 

Joel: Nope. 

Simon: Never. 

Jim: Nope. 

Blair: Well, remember that night I told you that you went longer than anyone else? Does that count? 

Jim: Chief? Why did you just say that? 

Blair: Sorry, got caught up in the moment, just like Rafe. Sorry, Jim. 

Rafe: Well, Jim, at least he didn't say you came too soon. 

Jim: There is that. 

 

Connor: Have you ever asked or thought this? 

How long do you plan to be "almost there"? 

 

Brown: Hell, yes! I've wondered this many times. 

Rafe: Me, too. 

Simon: I've never really worried about it. 

Joel: Me, either. 

Jim: I like when he's almost there. I like to drag it out. 

Simon: Ellison? 

Jim: What? 

Simon: Please. 

Blair: He does do that and I have to say, it's great. 

Connor: Well, guys, we're well and truly done. Thank you so much for taking part in part of my test. I'll let you know what you guys all scored when I'm done figuring it out. 

Simon: What do you mean, scores? I hate being held up against someone else like that. You should have told us before hand. 

Connor: I'm sorry, sir. I thought you would figure that out on your own since I was taking notes and all. 

Jim: It's okay with us, Connor. 

Blair: Yeah, who cares? It was a pretty cool survey. 

Rafe: You would say that. 

Jim: Shut up, Rafe. 

Rafe: Shut up, Ellison. 

Joel: Okay, you two. You're like little children. I'll have to separate you next. It's fine with me, too, Connor. 

Rafe: Well, I guess it's okay with me, too. 

Connor: Thanks, guys. Talk to you tomorrow. 

Jim: Connor, please don't put all those childish things I said to Blair in there. I love him so much and sometimes I'm not the most mature person in the world. 

Connor: Don't worry, Ellison. You passed with flying colors. Go home and show him how much you love him. 

Jim: Why doesn't it bother you to think about Blair and me together? 

Connor: Because any normal women would love the idea of you and Blair together. 

Jim: Night, Connor. Drive carefully.

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 1  
Connor’s Class


	2. The Reasons Why It's Great to be a Girl or a really sensitive guy:

Sullivan’s Pub Part 2  
The Reasons Why It's Great to be a Girl or a really sensitive guy:   
By Megan Connor told to her best friend, Blair Sandburg. 

Free dinners.  
Connor: What am I doing wrong.  
Blair: Jim buys me dinner all the time. 

You can cry without pretending there's something in your contacts.   
Blair: I'm a real man, Connor. Real men cry.   
Connor: I know, you're crying all the time. Ouch, I was kidding, Sandy. 

Speeding ticket? What's that?   
Blair: I truly believe that I could talk my way out of a ticket without batting my eyelashes or crying. Although, if it was Jim, I would do that anyhow.   
Connor: Oh lets get in the real world. I would offer sexual favors. 

You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports.   
Blair: I love sports.   
Connor: So do I. I especially love all of the ass slapping going on.   
Blair: So do I. 

If you're a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being.   
Blair: Connor you're an excellent athlete. So, what's up with this question?   
Connor: Thank you, Sandy. I agree. We don't fall into this one at all. I didn’t make these up; they were given to me.

A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.   
Blair: Want me to try it out and see what Jim says?   
Connor: I don't want to be around when he finds out it was me that gave you the idea.   
Blair: You are just no fun what-so-ever. 

In high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned.   
Connor: Did you ever have to do this, Sandy?   
Blair: Oh yeah, it's awful when you get hard by the air currents flowing through a room. I once came just from watching a teacher lick her fingers before she turned the pages. That binder came in handy that day.   
Connor: I'll just call you handy, Sandy from now on. 

If you have to be home in time for Ally McBeal, you can say so, out loud.   
Blair: Man, I just love that character, John. And what do you think of his new girlfriend? The one who has tourettes Syndrome. I love this show.   
Connor: I hate this show, Sandy. I think it's like a whine fest. I really can't stand them. I'd love to arrest that stupid bitch Aly for not eating and making us all look like cows.   
Blair patted Megan on the back to show support before he burst out laughing. 

If you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling.   
Blair: What the fuck does this shit mean?   
Connor: I'll tell ya later about guys who stay below under glass ceilings.   
Blair: I got it. 

If you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup.   
Blair: Thank god we don't have to worry about that one, eh?   
Connor: Speak for yourself, Sandy. I have to wear makeup.  
Blair: I've seen you in the morning without any. You look great. You just choose to wear it.   
Connor: All right, I choose to have some color on my face. Thanks, Sandy. You are so good for my ego. 

If you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser.   
Blair: It's very dangerous did you know that?   
Connor: Self-tanner's???? I don't think so. I think you're thinking of tanning beds.   
Blair: No actually I was thinking of going out with guys or girls that are really tan.   
Connor: Oh, you are bad, Sandy. I'm telling Jim.   
Blair: No you won’t. You love me too much.  
Connor: Yeah, I do. But I love him too. Be good.

You could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.   
Blair: Well, what's wrong with group showers?   
Connor: I totally agree.   
Blair: I suggest we talk everyone into one later today.  
Connor: Yeah, and when they get done laughing, we'll pick your body up and take it to Dan Wolfe. 

Brad Pitt.   
Blair: Can I add Jim to this?   
Connor: You're supposed to put someone that is going to make me drool.   
Blair: Jim doesn't make you drool?   
Connor: Not unless you count when I fell asleep on his shoulder once and drooled on him. 

You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.   
Blair: Jim would never do this. It just wouldn't be Jim.   
Connor: Is he that anal? Pardon the pun.   
Blair: Yes, he is. 

You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clippers. (Ewwww)   
Blair: Well, I have to know where they are. I'm a hairy guy. I can't help it.   
Connor. Ewwwwwwwww. 

When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.   
Blair: I have to say, Jim has come close a couple of times. He can't stand the smell of my feet when I haven't aired them out for hours. It makes him ill.   
Connor: I think being a sentinel makes a difference. Okay, we'll give him this one. 

If the person you're dating is much better at something than you are, you don't have to break up with him.   
Blair: I tried to break up with Jim once, but he begged me to stay with him.  
Connor: Is that true?   
Blair: No, I was holding on to his leg as he was walking out the door, all pissed off.   
Connor: Now that sounds like the Jim we all know and love. 

If you think the person you’re dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him.   
Connor: Well, just look at you and Jim. Ouch. Sandy, I'm getting sore from you smacking me.   
Blair: This statement makes no sense to me at all.   
Connor: Blair, it's a fucking survey. Stop thinking. 

If you don't shave, no one will know.   
Blair: Everyone would know. And I'm not just talking about my face.   
Connor: God, I wondered about that. Tell me how hard that is to do.   
Blair: I thought we weren't supposed to think so much. It was only a survey.   
Connor: So, I lied. Now tell me.   
Blair: Aloe Vera Pubic area Nair. It's the best. You can use it anywhere.   
Connor: Holy shit. 

If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.   
Blair: I find this one stupid.   
Connor: Total agreement. But do you ever do this to get Jim's attention?   
Blair: They didn't ask that.   
Connor: But I did.  
Blair: Yeah, all the time, and he falls for it, hook, line and sinker. 

You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.  
Blair: Hell I don't even remember these movies.  
Connor: I've never seen them. 

You can dress yourself. (Connor has to help Sandy up from the floor. Finally, they both get their breath back)   
Connor: God, Sandy are you alright? That was a nasty fall out of the chair. (Both of them are still trying to breath properly.)   
Blair: This is just so Jim. I kid you not. I have to tell him what goes with what. He doesn't have a clue. Making him fucking clueless. Thankfully I find that very sexy in a guy.   
Connor: Sandy, you are such a slut.   
Blair: And... The point is?

Your hair is yours to keep.   
Blair: Promise not to tell anyone? I'm losing some of my hair.   
Connor: It's called receding, Sandy. Nothing to be alarmed about. 

If you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you're really   
chic.   
Connor: Hey look how great Annie Lennox looked. I could see myself doing something like that. Stop laughing, Sandy. Stop, or I'll tell Jim everything you've said today.   
Blair: Fine… Tattletale. 

You don't have to pretend to like cigars.   
Blair: I hate cigars.   
Connor: Me too. 

You'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything.   
Blair: Oh man, this is so not true.   
Connor: I know, tell me about it. I've spent a fortune on a guy I really cared about.   
Blair: Was he worth it?   
Connor: Fuck, yeah.

If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot.   
Blair: I'm a little weird about this one. Jim is after all 9 years older than me.   
Connor: Sandy, 8 or 9 years isn't bad. // Except in dog years. // 

You're rarely compelled to scream at the TV.   
Connor: I scream at the telly all the time. How about you, Sandy?   
BLair: Oh yeah, not just that, I also scream at the computer screen. 

You and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share your feelings.   
Blair: If Jim wouldn't have gotten shitfaced, he would have never told me how he felt about me. Then he wouldn't have fucked me senseless.   
Connor: God, he's such a romantic. Ouch. Stop hitting me, Sandy.   
Blair: Just think, I'd still be sleeping down below in that small space.   
Connor: Oh you mean the old bedroom. I thought you meant under Jim. Sorry.  
Blair: (Falls from his chair and doesn’t even want to get up.) Connor, I love you. Have I mentioned that?  
Connor: No, you didn’t, but thank you. I love you too, Sandy.

If you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty.   
Blair: I do this.   
Connor: So do I. I hate when everyone thinks that the guy has to pay. And in your case, the bigger guy.   
Blair: I hate when you do that Connor.   
Connor: Well what do you want me to say?   
Blair: How about the other man, that is taller, but yet smaller?   
Connor: Oh you are evil, Sandy, evil.

Sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need.   
Blair: I not only do this, but totally enjoy it.  
Connor: Again, I understand why we're such good friends. I totally agree. 

Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in your teeth.   
Blair: Connor, is there Spinach in my teeth?   
Connor: Nope, any in mine?   
Blair: Oh yeah, no, over further. Yes, you almost have it.   
Connor: Wait a minute, we didn't have any spinach.   
Blair: I know, ain't it cool? 

When you get a million catalogs in the mail, it's a good thing.   
Blair: I hate junk mail.   
Connor: Ditto.

Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.  
Blair: When I try to soften up Jim, I give him Chocolate.   
Connor: Why would you want to soften him up, wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose?   
Blair: Fuck you, Connor.   
Connor: You wish, Sandy, you wish.   
Blair: I'm going to tell Jim.   
Connor: Fine I'll tell him about that remark about being taller, but smaller somewhere else.   
Blair: Touche. 

If you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it.  
Blair: Keep laughing, Connor and I'm going to haul off and smack you big time.   
Connor: If you keep hitting me, I'm going to be black and blue. 

You'll never regret piercing your ears.   
Blair: Every time Jim sucks on my ear and earring, I think of that. Very sensitive.   
Connor: Sandy, keep this up and I'm going to jump Jim when he gets here.   
Blair: I would pay good money to see the look on his face.   
Connor: What do you think he would do?  
Blair: Run from the room, screaming. (Both of them laughed.)

You can fully assess someone just by looking at his or her shoes.   
Blair: I sure as hell can.   
Connor: Tell me about it. 

You'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra.   
Connor: We both hate the word wonderbra. It sounds like something that Wonderwoman left when she was at your place. Not that I would turn down wonderwoman. But hell, why call it that? It's like taunting us.   
Blair: it's a stupid thing to call a bra. And I wonder why anyone would care how they look with that bra on. Once you take it off, the man or woman is going to know, it didn't do wonders anyhow.  
Connor: Touche. 

You don't have hair on your back.   
Connor: Do you have hair on your back, Sandy? Ouch. God, stop smacking me.   
Blair: No, I have a hairy chest, but not my back. Now drop it. 

If anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get implants.   
Blair: I can't help it; this one is making me laugh.  
Connor: Tell me about tit. Oh, sorry, I meant to say it. 

You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.  
Blair: Connor, I might try some and see the look on Jim's face when he comes home.   
Connor: Holey Moley batboy, stop pinching me. I can't help it if that thought makes me hysterical. 

If you have big ears, no one has to know.   
Blair: Do you think I have big ears?   
Connor: No, Sandy, not you. // Dumbo Jr.// 

You can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny.   
Connor: Well in your case, Sandy, it would be someone really funny looking. Ow. I'm going to kick your ass when we're done with this.   
Blair: You better be nice. You know damn well you think Jim is handsome.   
Connor: fine, he's okay.   
Blair: Man, where is my tape recorder? 

You can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on Jerry Springer.   
Blair: Well this made no sense for me or Jim.   
Connor: It makes no sense for me either. But I'd like to see you and Jim on Jerry Springer anyhow. 

Connor: Oh man, I accidentally sent it off to Simon, Brown, Rafe, Jim, and Joel. Sorry, Sandy.   
Blair: If you did, I'm going to really kick your ass, girl.  
Connor: Did you bring a lunch?   
Blair: I hate when you make me laugh, when I’m trying to be serious.   
Connor: I love you, Sandy.   
Blair: I love you too, Connor.


	3. The Reasons Why It's Great to be a Guy:

Sullivan’s Pub Part 3   
The Reasons Why It's Great to be a Guy:   
By Rafe, Brown, Taggert, Banks and   
Ellison. 

 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 

 

Rafe: Yup, that would be Jim. 

Brown: That could be Simon, too. 

Joel: It's Jim and Simon. 

Jim: Fuck you all. 

Simon: Jim you might want to retract that statement. That sounds like you   
want group sex. 

 

Movie nudity is virtually always female. 

Brown: Thank god. 

Rafe: Hot damn. 

Taggert: You have to love that about movies. 

Banks: Do you men not have anything else to do? 

Ellison: I hate that about movies. I want to see something besides boobs   
sometimes. Yes, you all know what I want to see. 

 

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 

Brown: What's a suitcase? 

Rafe: I plead the fifth. 

Taggert: I agree with Brown. 

Ellison: I know what a suitcase is, but I sure as hell know how to pack one   
well enough to never need more than once piece for any said trip. 

Banks: Jim, why not take this totally serious? 

 

Monday Night Football. 

Brown: Amen 

Rafe: Amen. Could I add cheerleaders? 

Taggert: Could I add the food? 

Banks: Could I have you men go back to work? 

Ellison: I like football for the sport, what the fuck is wrong with all of   
you? 

 

The bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 

Brown: (He can't stop laughing.) 

Rafe: I've had women come into the men's room because they can't wait. I   
picked a woman up that way once. She liked what she saw while I was in front   
of the urinal. What? I mean it. It happened. 

Taggert: Where did this happen? 

Banks: Rafe, I want you to see someone about this. 

Ellison: Rafe I hate to break it to you, but I've seen it while in front of   
the urinal, and I doubt that is why she asked you out. *Snort* 

 

You can open all your own jars. 

Brown: Thank god. 

Rafe: Hey, I have to ask Henry for help now and then. 

Taggert: Once I had to ask Blair for help. 

Banks: Are we done with this yet? 

Ellison: He's a strong little shit, isn't he? Remind me to tell you about   
something later Taggert. 

 

Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind. 

Brown: Not me. 

Rafe: I spend a fortune on both. 

Taggert: I don't. 

 

Banks: I spend enough. 

Ellison: Why is everyone looking over here? Shit, will I never hear the end   
of it, because I'm losing my hair. Sandburg is starting to recede, do you   
see me bugging him nonstop? I don't think so.   
Simon: We were talking about you being a neat freak and taking things to the cleaners.

 

When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot   
of someone crying. 

Brown: Amen 

Rafe: Amen 

Taggert: Well, if it's a good film, I might stay for awhile. 

Banks: Amen to what Brown and Rafe said. 

Ellison: I don't stall, I just like to hear what I might have missed out on.   
Besides Sandburg usually has the remote.   
Everyone bursts out laughing!

 

A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. 

Brown: (Giggles)

Rafe: I hate that. 

Taggert: I have one of them. 

Banks: I'm getting one. 

Ellison: If you want sex bad enough, you won't notice anything. 

 

You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go. 

Brown: Amen. 

Rafe: Hey, a person has to have things when he goes somewhere. It's all part   
of life. 

Taggert: I agree with Rafe. 

Banks: You sound like a bunch of women. 

Ellison: Hey, you just insulted Sandburg. Take it back, Simon. 

 

You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Yup 

Taggert: I thought it was pretty funny. 

Banks: I thought it was hysterical. 

Ellison: Blair won't let me watch it anymore.   
Rafe: You are such a pussy.

 

You can go to the bathroom without a support group. 

Brown: hee hee 

Rafe: hee hee is right. 

Taggert: I can only think of two people that go to the restroom together. 

Banks: Taggert, this is our workplace. Let's keep this clean. 

Ellison: Hey I resemble that remark. 

 

The garage is all yours. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Yup 

Taggert: Yup 

Banks: Yup 

Ellison: I don't have a garage. I have a storage room, that Blair lets me   
keep stuff in, but other than that, I don't have anything like that. What?   
What did I say? Why are you all looking at me like that?   
Banks: You are whipped. Stop it.

 

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 

Brown: They give credit? 

Rafe: I didn't know that. 

Taggert: I did. I knew that one. 

Banks: That's why I'm not married anymore. 

Ellison: Well, I get extra credit for a lot of things, from Sandburg. What?   
Why are you still looking at me? 

 

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: It takes me about an hour to get everything done, what of it? 

Taggert: 10 minutes here too. 

Simon: Ditto 

Ellison: What takes you all so long? (Snickering.)

 

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your   
friend. 

Brown: If I got forgotten for a poker night, I would feel really bad. 

Rafe: I would too. 

Taggert: Ditto 

Banks: Same here. 

Ellison: Hey, did I remember to ask you guys to come by for Poker on Saturday   
night? I thought not. Sorry. Well, don't forget. 

 

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Hardly. 

Taggert: Why, how much do yours cost? 

Rafe: Hell I've paid more than ten bucks for one pair of boxers. 

Banks: We could have gone all night long without hearing that. 

Ellison: What kind did you buy? And where did you get them?   
Banks: Oh for gods sake.

 

The National College Cheer leading Championship. 

Brown: yup 

Rafe: yup 

Taggert: yup 

Banks: yup 

Ellison: I kind of like the guy they usually have on the squad. I was   
kidding, stop throwing things at me. 

 

You don't have to shave below your neck. 

Brown: Yeah, right. 

Rafe: Yeah, right. 

Taggert: You guys have to shave elsewhere? 

Banks: Yeah, ditto what Taggert just asked? 

Ellison: Nair is a lot easier for a lot of hard to reach places. Hey, stop   
throwing things. I can't believe you stooped to throwing things, Simon.   
Simon: Then shut up.

 

If you're 34 and single nobody notices. 

Brown: Bullshit. My mom does. 

Rafe: Bullshit, everyone asks me if I'm gay. No offense, Jim. 

Taggert: No one has asked me that. 

Banks: Joel I think they figure you and I are just set in our ways. 

Ellison: Nobody notices about me. 

Simon: Ellison, are you always this unaware? Everyone knows you are soooo   
married. 

 

Everything on your face stays its original color. 

Brown: Amen 

Rafe: Amen 

Taggert: Amen 

Banks: Amen 

Ellison: Fuck, we all agree on this one? Amen. 

 

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. 

Brown: Amen 

Rafe: Amen 

Taggert: Amen 

Banks: Amen 

Ellison: This is like the twilight zone here. Amen. 

 

Flowers fix everything. 

Brown: Bullshit 

Rafe: Bullshit 

Taggert: They do sometimes. 

Banks: I never really tried. 

Ellison: Bullshit. 

Banks: Ellison, didn't you just send flowers to Sandburg last week and didn't   
you tell me the makeup sex was awesome? 

Ellison: Why not tell everyone, Simon? 

Banks: Sorry, I got carried away here. Sorry. 

 

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Yup 

Taggert: Yup 

Banks: Well, I know that Jim wouldn't let Sandburg wear one to a waterpark   
because he wouldn't be able to concentrate. 

Ellison: When did this become, let's make fun of Jim day?   
Simon: About 30 minutes ago.

 

Three pair of shoes is more than enough. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Never 

Taggert: Yup 

Banks: Never 

Ellison: Blair makes me have different kinds to go with different outfits. 

Brown: Ellison, guys don't wear outfits and if you do, you're gay. 

Ellison: But I am gay, asshole. 

 

Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. 

Brown: Amen 

Rafe: I kind of like him. 

Taggert: I hate him. 

Banks: Who is he? 

Ellison: Rafe you like Michael Bolten? I've never met a straight man that   
liked him. 

Rafe: What the fuck do you mean by that, Ellison? 

 

Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. 

Brown: Well, usually, but sometimes we feel bad telling nasty jokes around   
Sandburg. 

Ellison: Wait a minute. Blair has a great sense of humor. You're saying you   
stop telling jokes around him? That pisses me off. 

Banks: Well, Jim we stop telling them around you too. 

Ellison: Fuck all of ya. 

Taggert: That's what we're afraid of. 

Rafe: I think you're all sick.   
Ellison: They are all sick.  
Rafe: I met you gays.  
Simon: Good one, Rafe.

 

You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Yup 

Taggert: Well, I really don't feel that great about my body right now. 

Banks: I need to take some of this weight off. 

Ellison: What did you say about a whip? What? Stop throwing things at me. 

 

Auto mechanics tell you the truth. 

Brown: That's why we bring Jim along. 

Rafe: Ditto. 

Taggert: Jim does seem to know an awful lot about cars. 

Banks: He has some knowledge of them and the people that deal with us. 

Ellison: You're all so full of shit. You know that I'm a Sentinel. Stop   
trying to act like you don't know. 

 

You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even   
thinking, "He must be mad at me." 

Brown: Now this one I have to argue with. If Rafe doesn't talk to me, I know   
he's mad at me. It's a partner thing. 

Rafe: Agreed. It's a partner thing. 

Taggert: Yeah, I partner with Conner a lot and I feel the same way with her. 

Banks: Well, I don't agree with any of you. I would prefer if you all didn't   
talk to me. Including this stupid survey. 

Ellison: I think it's a partner thing. 

Brown: Ellison, you are so full of shit. With you, it's a I have to fuck   
Sandburg thing. 

 

You get to jump up and slap stuff. 

Brown: I don't get this one. 

Rafe: I don't either. 

Taggert: Me either. 

Banks: Have you ever seen any of us slap anything? 

Ellison: Guys, guys, guys. Do I have to remind you of how we jump up and   
slap each other's asses and hands during games. Oh yeah, that's me and Sandburg, sorry.

 

One mood, all the time. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Yup 

Taggert: Not true, I am a man of many moods. 

Banks: Joel, you sound like Jim now. 

Ellison: Hey, quit picking on the gay guy. And stop picking on Joel.  
Taggert: Thanks, Jim.

 

You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 

Brown: yup 

Rafe: I don't get this one. 

Taggert: You wouldn't, you're as thin as Eastwood is. 

Banks: It's not as easy for us bigger guys. 

Ellison: I wouldn't want to be skinny. 

 

You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 

Brown: I bet Ellison knows 20 ways. 

Rafe: I bet he does too. 

Taggert: Why would a person need 20 ways to open a bottle? 

Banks: Jim, tell us, how many do you know? 

Ellison: Two. One for twisting the cap off and the other way is using a bottle opener. 

 

Rafe: Well that was a disappointment. 

 

You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. 

Brown: Yup 

Rafe: Not always. 

Taggert: I agree with Rafe. 

Banks: Ellison I think you're corrupting the others in the bullpen. 

Ellison: Hey, stop picking on the gay guy. I can sit any way I like. If you don't like looking at the bulge in my pants, sometimes, tough. 

Banks: I knew that was coming. 

Ellison: Don't mention coming, the gay guy, might go crazy. 

 

Gray hair and wrinkles add character. 

Brown: Yeah, right. 

Rafe: Oh yeah, I believe that. 

Taggert: It might be true. 

Banks: You just keep living in that bubble, Joel. 

Ellison: Hey I've had no complaints.   
Banks: Jim, you aren’t gray.  
Ellison: But I do have wrinkles. Wanna see em?  
Everyone: NO!!!

 

You don't mooch off others' desserts. 

Brown: I do this sometimes. 

Rafe: I never do. 

Taggert: I do this all the time. 

Banks: I've done it a couple of times. 

Ellison: What are you all fags? 

 

The remote is yours and yours alone. 

Brown: We all know who is the keeper of the remote at the Ellison-Sandburg   
house. 

Rafe: Sandburg is the boss there. 

Taggert: He makes great food too. 

Banks: Taggert, what the hell does food have to do with the remote?   
Taggert: Who cares? He makes fantastic food. I love it. 

Ellison: Fuck you all. 

Banks: Do you kiss Sandburg with that mouth? 

 

ESPN's Sports Center. 

Brown: Fave show. 

Rafe: I like it when I'm in the mood. 

Taggert: I love this show. 

Banks: I swear that Rafe is starting to act more like Sandburg every day.   
Are we certain it isn't catching? 

Ellison: I love Sports Center too, and I don't think that being annoying is   
catching. 

 

Bachelor parties rule over bridal showers. 

Brown: I wouldn't know. 

Rafe: I wouldn't know. 

Taggert: I could care less. 

Banks: Me too. 

Ellison: And you think I'm gay? 

 

You don't need to pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 

Brown: I like to say, I'm taking a piss. 

Rafe: I say, I'm draining the dew off the lily. 

Taggert: I don't say anything, I just go. 

Banks. Drain the dew off the fucking lily? 

Ellison: Sir, you want to take back some of those gay remarks about me, now? 

 

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become   
life long buddies. 

Brown: Like I would notice. 

Rafe: I would die. 

Taggert: I could care less. 

Banks: Rafe, I think we might need to talk. 

Ellison: Simon, you going to let up on the remarks for a while now? 

 

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 

Brown: Sure. 

Rafe: Never. 

Taggert: I think it's a bodily function. 

Banks: I try not to be rude but sometimes can't help it. 

Ellison: I try to do it, to piss Blair off. 

 

You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 

Brown: I don't care to remember. 

Rafe: I keep it all on my calendar. 

Taggert: I try to remember all important dates. Speaking of that Jim, did   
you remember to pick up those flowers for Blair? 

Banks: Jesus, now you're helping him remember things, Taggert? 

Ellison: Yes Simon. This is what real friends do. And yes, I didn’t remember, Joel. Thank you.

 

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything   
different?" 

Brown: I hate when someone asks that. 

Rafe: I usually notice before a person asks. 

Taggert: So do I. 

Banks: Oh god, I need to talk to two of them now, Ellison. You've ruined the   
whole bunch. 

Ellison: Fuck you, sir. 

 

Baywatch. 

Brown: Can you say, Wow? 

Rafe: I can and I do. Wow. 

Taggert: I even like this show. 

Banks: Babewatch. Love it. 

Ellison: I love it too. I hated when David Hasselhoff left the show though.   
He was so good in it. And we loved to watch him run across the beach. What?   
I knew you all expected that of me. I'm just saying what you think the gay   
guy should say. I love to watch the babes too. That better?   
Banks: Much. 

 

There is always a game on somewhere. 

Brown: Amen 

Rafe: Amen 

Taggert: Amen 

Banks: Amen 

Ellison: You're all gay.


	4. Ways To Fail In Bed

Sullivan’s Pub Part 4  
Conner's Quiz   
Ways To Fail In Bed   
Patt 

For Sue. She asked, I wrote. 

 

Everyone met at Sullivan’s once again and sat down for the questions to begin.

Conner: Okay, who feels like this is failing their partner in bed? Have you done it or not? 

NOT KISSING FIRST. 

Joel: I would never sleep with someone that I hadn't kissed first. Yes, you would totally be failing them in bed. 

Simon: Joel, don't you think that sometimes it depends on the woman? 

Joel: Simon, what woman wouldn't want to be kissed in a relationship? Jesus, you fuck her and leave, it's like she's a whore. 

Simon: Why don't you tell us how you really feel, Joel? 

Joel: Well we all know by Simon's avoidance that he doesn't kiss a lot. We don't have to worry about him kissing and telling. 

Simon: Shut up, Joel. 

Jim: I agree with Joel. 

Simon: You would. You've become such a pussy since you started sleeping with Sandburg. No offense Sandburg, but he's mush. 

Blair: Hey, that's not true. He's still very tough. And he's always firm.

Rafe: God, we're only one the first question and Hairboy is already teasing us with the gay jokes. 

Blair: So Rafe, you going to answer this or not? 

Rafe: No, I don't always kiss. However, it's up to the woman. I let them make that first move. 

Brown: Me too. 

Blair: Shit, I've never slept with a woman that didn't want to kiss. 

Jim: Why not tell everyone all about it, Sandburg.

Blair: Shut up, or I will, big man. 

Simon: Conner please keep these questions moving faster tonight. 

Conner: Well excuse me, but I don't feel like you've answered well enough. Okay, Rafe, you think that it's up to the woman? 

Rafe: Yes, totally. If she wants to kiss, then I'll fucking kiss her. Get it? Fuck and Kiss her. 

Conner: Oh you're so damn witty. Now we all know why you don't date that much. Simon, you don't think that you should have to kiss a woman you're dating? 

Simon: No, not if I don't want to. I believe that kissing is a very serious thing, and I won't do it with just anyone. 

Conner: But you'll fuck her, right? 

Simon: Well, what does that have to do with kissing? 

Conner: Please someone help me out here. Tell me this isn't a male thing and that you all think this. 

Blair: No, Conner, I don't think that. 

Jim: No, I don't think it either. 

Joel: And I couldn't agree with them more. 

Brown: Well now that you put it that way, I might want to start the kissing a little sooner than I have in the past. I never put that much thought into it. 

Rafe: You guys have been hanging with Ellison for too long, you're fucking pussies. 

Conner: Fuck you, Rafe. You're a dick. 

Rafe: Well duh. 

Simon: Is this still the first fucking question, Conner? Because I have to tell you, I have a date. No I'm not going to fucking kiss her. 

 

Conner: NOT SHAVING. How many of you have done this and had your partner tell you she/he didn't appreciate it? 

 

Joel: I always shave before a date. 

Simon: So do I. 

Rafe: It depends on my mood. 

Brown: My mom would kick my ass if she found out I didn't shave and look good before a date. 

Blair: I always shave before a date. Now I'm with Jim, so I don't have to anymore. What? I was kidding, hot stuff. 

Jim: I try to shave every time we have plans. 

Rafe: Ewwwwww 

Jim: What do you mean by that? I said I just try to shave. 

Rafe: We know what you mean by that. Geeze. 

Brown: I didn't get that from his answer, Rafe. Give him a break.

Jim: Thanks, Brown. 

Blair: Jim, you do shave before we have sex, why are you acting all offended? 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: Stop telling me to shut up, or I'll tell them how we sometimes shave each other. 

Rafe: Ewwwwww 

Simon: Could we please get this moving along? 

 

 

Conner: How many of you feel that SQUEEZING HER BREAST is acceptable behavior? 

 

Simon: This isn't? 

Rafe: Yeah, what's wrong with this one? 

Simon: Oh god, I'm agreeing with the slut. 

Rafe: Excuse me? 

Jim: I can't believe you both get as many dates as you do. Women hate that. 

Blair: Women don't like to be squeezed, they liked to be rubbed and stroked. Just like we do. 

Jim: Are you an authority on this, Sandburg? 

Blair: Well, I used to be, Jim. 

Jim: Is that a Bi guy joke? 

Joel: I agree with Blair. Not acceptable, stroking, rubbing and caressing would be much better. 

Brown: I gotta go with Joel and Blair on this one. 

Simon: Rafe, they are wusses. 

Rafe: Conner, tell us what you think of this. 

Conner: I hate it. I feel like you're going to try driving off the dashboard or something sometimes. We like to be caressed and adored. 

Rafe: Conner, you're going to be dateless for a long time. 

Jim: Conner, he's full of shit. 

Blair: Yeah, Conner, Jim will date you. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Blair: Just another bi guy joke. 

 

Conner: Sucking and biting on her nipples? A good practice or bad? 

 

Jim: I find this one stupid. I've never bitten a woman's nipple in my life. 

Blair: Now wait a minute, so why do you bite mine? What? 

Simon: Could we please keep your little remarks to just the questions? Do we have to listen to the gay and bi jokes? 

Jim: Why yes, you do. 

Joel: Jim, I've never done this either. And Blair, maybe he feels like you want that done to you. Does it bother you? 

Blair: Excuse me, why are we discussing my nipples? 

Simon: You brought it up, smart man. 

Joel: What do you think about that, Blair? 

Blair: I love when he bites me. 

Jim: I know you do. 

Rafe: God, do we have to listen to this shit? 

Brown: Actually I'm getting more used to it now. It almost seems sweet. 

Rafe: Simon, I think it's catching. The next thing you know, he and Joel are going to say they swing that way. 

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe.

Rafe: You wish, Ellison. 

Jim: Dream on, Mr. I Think I’m Straight. 

Simon: Okay, are we almost done, Conner? 

Rafe: What do you you mean by that?

Simon: Nothing. Now let’s move this along.

 

 

Conner: Only kissing, and ignoring most other parts of the woman's body. Ever been there, done that? 

 

Jim: Well, since I haven't been with a woman for a while, I'll just say, I used to make them happy. I tried not to ignore anything. 

Blair: Jim, why do you have to talk about the past? I'm going to use you as my example. I make Jim's entire body hum with excitement. 

Simon: Oh for Christ's sake. 

Joel: I think that's so sweet. I've always tried to please a woman, in the same ways I would want to be pleased. 

Brown: Boy, you're right on the money, Joel. I totally agree. And Blair, I think it's great that you make Ellison feel that good. 

Jim: Excuse me; I'm still in the room. Could we stop discussing me? 

Blair: Are you saying I don't make your body hum? 

Jim: I never said that. 

Blair: What are you saying? 

Jim: I'm saying that I don't want everyone else knowing that you make my body hum with excitement. It’s something I hadn't planned sharing with them. 

Conner: Well I for one, think it's terrific. 

Rafe: He's a wuss puss. 

Brown: What in the hell is that? 

Rafe: It means, he's a pussy and a sissy.

Jim: Would you like me to show you what kind of sissy I am, Rafe? 

Rafe: Not in this lifetime, Ellison. I like women. 

Blair: Sit back down, Jim. Now. 

Rafe: See, did you all see him sit right down when Blair told him to? You're a wuss puss, Ellison. Sad, but true. 

Simon: I have to agree with Rafe on this, Ellison. You're pussy whipped. 

Blair: Simon, if a woman offered you sex whenever you wanted it, cooked for you, loved you and understood your job, would you not want to be involved with her? 

Simon: I'm not stupid, Sandburg, that's too good to pass up. 

Blair: Then you're pussy whipped too. 

Joel: I think that most men are. We let our other heads think too much for us. 

Jim: No lie, Joel. No lie. 

Blair: Well, we could change that, Ellison. 

Jim: I don't want to change it. That's why I said it's no lie. 

Simon: Conner, hurry and get us out of the Sandburg/Ellison zone. 

 

Conner: Have you ever taken off a condom, thrown it across the room, and missed the trash? After seeing that, just left it where it lay? 

 

Jim: Yup, Blair does it all the time. 

Rafe: Shit, what did I tell you? He's a wuss puss. He's a bottom boy. 

Jim: I'm going to kick your ass, Rafe. 

Blair: For your information, Rafe, we don't pull that top and bottom thing. We have no favorites, do we, boy? 

Jim: Very funny, Chief. 

Joel: I've never done this while with a woman. 

Conner: Have you ever done it while with a man? Well, Joel you left that open. 

Joel: No, I've never done it with anyone. 

Brown: I've never done it either. 

Rafe: I've done it a few times, but I figured it was better than having some woman pregnant or worse. 

Jim: Man, you're quite the romantic aren't you, Rafe? I bet you're fighting them off with a stick. 

Rafe: Fuck you Ellison. 

Blair: No, he's fucked already thank you. 

Simon: I've never done this, Conner and lets move right along.

 

Conner: Rubbing the Clitoris hard, can be a real turn off. Have you done this and what do you think about it? 

 

Joel: I'm a gentle lover. 

Simon: Jesus, I swear it's like being in a room with a bunch of women. 

Conner: Excuse me, Simon. That was very insulting. You're saying because he likes to be gentle he's femmed? 

Simon: Yes, that's what I'm saying. 

Joel: Well, I want to make the woman come as many times as possible. 

Conner: Joel, I'm giving you my number before we leave. 

Rafe: See, I knew that she had a reason for these questions. Surveys for class my ass. 

Brown: I'm always gentle with women in bed. My Mama told me about women when I was a teen. Told me what they like and don't. I listened. 

Joel: Good for her, Henry. 

Jim: Okay, since you mention a certain body part, I have to say, when I was with women, I never did this. I was always gentle. 

Blair: Same here. 

Conner: So Simon and Rafe answer the question. 

Rafe: Actually, I've never had complaints, so I guess I'm doing it right. 

Conner: But do you touch gently or do you push and rub hard, causing her to see stars for the wrong reason? 

Rafe: They never complain, Conner. Okay? 

Simon: I'm gentle I guess. 

Blair: Oh way to go, Simon. Make fun of Joel and then you answer the same thing. 

Simon: Conner is it time to move to the next one? 

 

Conner: If you were going to sleep with a man, would it be different than with a woman? Not for the obvious reasons. I mean; would you be more gentle or rough? 

 

Simon: Wait a minute. When did this go off track here? We're discussing women, I thought. 

Conner: We're discussing sex. 

Blair: Holy shit, we can get into this one, Jim. 

Jim: Yes, we can. I feel like I can be rougher with Blair, because he's into the kinky hurt me sort of stuff.

Blair: Shut up, Ellison. He's kidding, Simon. Stop glaring at us. 

Joel: I imagine that some women like things rough, but I've always been gentle. 

Rafe: I don't even want to think about how a guy would like it. 

Brown: Well, if this is a question I'll answer. I think that I'd be gentler with someone smaller than I was. However, not as gentle as with a woman. But wait, don't get all crazy Conner. I wouldn't be gentle with you; you're as tall as I am. And as tough. 

Conner: Thank you, Brown. 

Joel: I still don't think I could be rough with either sex. 

Simon: Jesus Joel, now you're thinking about it? 

Joel: Well she asked. 

Rafe: Well geeze, how gentle would a person have to be to shove his dick up someone else's ass? 

Jim: Man, that is so wrong, Rafe. You have a lot to learn. 

Blair: Rafe, You have no idea, how gentle you have to be. It's not like something you want forced on you. 

Simon: Okay, I think we've discussed this long enough. 

Conner: Jim and Blair, could we talk later on? I have some things to ask you. 

Jim: Sure.

Blair: About what? 

Jim: We'll be glad to help, Conner. 

Blair: I guess I’m helping. (Glaring at Jim.)

 

 

Conner: So who thinks it would be a sign of a failure if you tear her clothing off in a hurry to screw her brains out? 

 

Joel: I would never do this, and I would never screw someone's brains out. I prefer to think of it as making love. 

Simon: Well, I do have to agree with Joel on this one. 

Rafe: Simon, come on. Don't be a wuss puss. 

Simon: Rafe, I know you didn't just call me a fucking wuss puss. I'm doing up the schedules as soon as I'm done here.

Brown: I also call it making love. Unless I know the person really well, then sometimes we call it fucking our brains out. 

Jim: I agree with H on this one. 

Blair: I'm not saying a word. 

Conner: Okay, spill, what? 

Jim: Shut up Sandburg. 

Blair: Jim loves when I rip his clothes off and am rough with him. Kidding, you all. Just kidding. 

Rafe: I don't think you're kidding. He'd be the type. 

Blair: What do you mean by that? 

Rafe: He seems the type that would just let you do whatever you wanted to him. 

Blair: Jim, sit down, right now. I don't care if they call you a wuss puss or not. Rafe shut the fuck up or I'll let him slug you right in the kisser. 

Simon: Okay, as of right now, if anyone hits anyone, Conner won't get any more help with her classes. 

Rafe: Sorry, Ellison. 

Jim: Same here. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. (Whispering, he said, "I'll take care of you later, big boy.")

 

 

Conner: Where do you feel is the most important part of the body while love making? Do you ever feel that you've failed your partner because you let something go without attention? 

 

Joel: Well this one's easy. I feel that the entire body is important, but the brain has to believe that you're interested. So talking will help this a great deal. 

Conner: Okay, Joel, give me your number. 

Jim: I agree with Joel. 

Conner: Jim are you and Sandy into threesomes? 

Jim: Ask Blair. 

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison. What do you mean by that? 

Conner: Holy shit, you've done threesomes before? 

Jim: No, I've never done that. 

Conner: Man, you got me all excited there. I almost had an orgasm. 

Jim: Very funny, Conner. 

Rafe: I can't believe you're talking about that with them, Conner. What are you nuts? They’re gay. 

Conner: Maybe women get into watching men as much as men get into watching women. Did you ever consider that? 

Simon: I try not to consider any of the things we've been discussing. Tell me Conner, what is this helping in that class of yours. 

Conner: Sir, if you don't want me doing this anymore, just tell me. 

Simon: That's not what I meant. I just wondered what this would help. I think we sound like a bunch of moron's. 

Brown: Can I answer the question now? 

Conner: Yes, Henry, go ahead. 

Brown: I try to make a woman feel like she's the most important person in my life at that moment. This usually works. 

Simon: Hey wait a minute, back up a few questions.   
Sandburg, did you ever have a threesome? 

Blair: What the fuck does that have to do with anything? 

Conner: Holy shit. He did. OH man, two guys and a girl? All guys? What? 

Blair: I was in college; it was two girls and me. Now can we move on? 

Rafe: Okay, Hairboy, I have to say I'm impressed. 

Jim: OH that's great. You think it sucks that he's fucking me, but you think it's great if he was fucking two women at the same time? 

Rafe: Damn straight. He's going to be a new legend around the station now. 

Blair: Thanks a lot Jim. 

Jim: Sorry, baby. 

Blair: Don't baby me; your ass is mine as soon as we're home. 

Simon: We're still here, men. Please don't discuss what you're going to do with Jim after you leave here. 

Conner: Sandy, you can tell me. I'll listen. I love hearing about you and Jim. 

Jim: You tell Conner about us? 

Blair: Oh calm down, Jim. She guessed most of it, anyhow. 

Joel: I wouldn't mind hearing more about the gay lifestyle when you have the time. 

Rafe: I'm telling you, soon he'll be telling us is he's thinking of sleeping with a man. Jesus, Joel, get out before you're sucked in for good. 

Joel: Brian, you're being very cruel. It's not nice. 

Conner: Well, guys, I have to go. I need to go and take the tape player and listen and type all of this up. 

Joel: See you later, Conner. It was fun. 

Simon: Joel, I need to remind you again what fun is. 

Rafe: I'm telling you, Ellison and Sandburg have ruined him. 

Jim: I'm going to kick your ass Rafe. 

Blair: I'll hold him down, Jim. 

Conner: Thanks, guys. We'll see you in two nights when the next one has to be done. 

Simon: You're not done with this class yet? 

Conner: Sorry, sir. 

Joel: Well, I've been learning a lot. 

Rafe: We know. 

Jim: Shut up, Rafe. 

Brown: Quit picking on Joel, Rafe. 

Simon: Go home everyone. Now. 

Conner: Night guys.


	5. Connor's Quiz 2

Sullivan’s Pub Part 5  
Connor's Quiz 2   
Patt 

Another for Sue. So blame her. SusanDanette, in case you want to drop a line and yell at someone. 

Connor was able to talk the guys into another evening of questions and answers. She was getting very good at it. 

After everyone settled down, she told them what they would be discussing tonight. Before they had a chance to whine, bitch or complain, she began. 

Have you ever said????? 

 

Connor: "Did you come? " "Because I didn't " 

 

Joel: I would hope that I'd be able to tell. 

Jim: I've never asked this. 

Blair: I've asked when I wasn't very familiar with the woman I was with. I didn't know her sounds and so on? 

Jim: Why not tell us all about it? 

Simon: Back off, Jim. He's just answering a question. 

Jim: So, he can't use me as an example? 

Blair: Jim, baby, I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't ever have to ask if you came. The neighbors know that you came. 

Jim: Oh shut up. 

Blair: Well they do. 

Brown: I've never asked this and I've never said the second part. 

Rafe: I've never asked and wouldn't think to ask. 

Connor: Rafe, why are you being such an ass? 

Rafe: Because I'm sick to death of these stupid surveys and Simon will make us do these until the day we all die. 

Connor: Hey, you can leave now. You can all leave if you want. 

Blair: I don't want to Connor. I find it all fascinating. 

Jim: I do too, Connor. 

Rafe: All raise your hands that aren't surprised by the two wuss puss's saying this. 

Simon: Jim sit down, he's entitled to his opinion.

Joel: I think that they're interesting too, Connor.

Connor: Thank you guys. Rafe you can leave if you want. 

Rafe: No, I'm just in a bad mood.

Connor: What's wrong? 

Rafe: I just broke up with someone. 

Jim: Gosh, I can't believe that anyone wouldn't want to stay with you forever. 

Blair: Jim shut up. Rafe? You okay? 

Rafe: No, not really. 

Simon: Why don't you go on home? 

Rafe: No, I'd rather stay here, sir. It'll keep my mind off of it. 

Simon: Connor, want to move on now? 

 

 

Connor: Ever said, "I have something to tell you " "Get tested. " 

 

Joel: Nope. 

Jim: No. 

Blair: No. 

Simon: No 

Brown: No. 

Rafe: Once. 

Connor: Shit, you're kidding? Man, that must have been tough. 

Rafe: It was scary, but I've learned you have to look out for yourself since then. 

Jim: Well Rafe you can't let that ruin your life and your happiness forever. 

Blair: Yeah, what he said. 

Joel: Rafe if you need to talk, you know where I live. 

Rafe: Well, this was about four years ago, but thanks anyhow. 

Simon: Time to move on, Connor. 

Connor: Group hug, anyone? 

Jim: Nope. 

Simon: No. 

Blair: I will if anyone else wants to. 

Joel: Sure. 

Brown: Sure. 

Rafe: I guess. 

Jim: You guess? 

Simon: Okay, group hug, on the count of three. Not to last longer than the count of five. Go. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I'm a Romantic. " but thought, "I'm poor. " 

 

Jim: Hell yes. 

Joel: I might have. 

Simon: Yes, we've all been there. 

Blair: Yeah. 

Rafe: I don't think I've ever said this. 

Brown: I've said it a few times. 

Connor: Wow, this one was downright boring, fella's. Let see if the next one is better. 

Simon: Connor if I didn't know better, I'd think you're trying to get us to argue on purpose. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I'll give you a call. " but thought, "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by a wild beast. 

 

Joel: Connor, that one is funny. The picture I'm imagining is making me get weird feelings about everything. 

Jim: Yeah, I've thought this. Maybe not the second part, but still. 

Blair: I've thought this many times and had it said to me many. 

Joel: Blair I can't believe you'd ever have had this said to you. 

Blair: Joel, I used to be kind of a horn dog. 

Rafe: Used to? 

Brown: Yeah, used to? 

Jim: Yes, used to. He's not one anymore. 

Blair: Jim, I like to think I'll always be one. 

Jim: Well maybe you'd like to think about yourself as single. 

Blair: Geeze, Jim, get a grip. I'm crazy about you; you know that. 

Simon: I've never said it or thought it, now could we move on before we have to listen to these two again? 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I never meant to hurt you. " but thought, "I thought you weren't a virgin. " 

 

Joel: Oh man, that's a terrible question. No, I never thought or said it. 

Jim: No. 

Simon: No 

Rafe: I don't think so. 

Brown: Well, Bri, you either did or didn't. Which is it? 

Rafe: Okay, once. I said it once. I didn't know. 

Simon: Nope never said or thought. 

Blair: Said it once or twice. 

Joel: You've said this more than once? 

Jim: Stop while you're ahead, Blair. 

Blair: Well, the question is, have you ever said, I never meant to hurt you. I'm answering that one. 

Rafe: Oh please tell us you don't say this to Ellison. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Rafe: Not even on your best day. You couldn't reach. 

Brown: Man, don't take that sitting down, Sandburg. You need to fuck his brains out to let him know who's boss. 

Jim: Okay, this isn't funny. 

Brown: Jim, I'm kidding man. 

Connor: So tell us Sandy, what do you mean by this? 

Blair: Connor, don't you ever hurt anyone? I mean, not always physically. 

Connor: Oh I see what you mean. You mean as in break someone's heart or whatever? 

Blair: Yes, exactly. 

Rafe: Wuss Puss. 

Simon: Time to move on, Connor. 

Brown: Good cuz for a minute I thought he was going to tell us that he'd hurt Ellison and I wouldn't have believed it. 

Blair: Well... 

Jim: Shut up, Blair. 

Simon: You've hurt Jim? More than once? 

Blair: Well maybe a few times. 

Jim: Shut up Blair. 

Joel: You don't mean physically, right? 

Blair: Well... 

Jim: Please shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: No, I meant I hurt him in other ways. Now lets move on. 

Joel: Jim, it's okay to be hurt either way.

Jim: I don't want to fucking talk about this now. 

Simon: We don’t want you to talk about it either. Connor, please I beg of you, move this along. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "Trust me. " but thought, "Let's keep this between you and me, pumpkin." 

 

Joel: Never. 

Brown: Never. 

Jim: Never. 

Simon: Never. 

Rafe: Maybe once. 

Blair: A couple of times. 

Joel: Blair, please tell us you don't do this any longer. 

Blair: Hey, the question is, have you ever said, Trust me? Well, I say that a lot. 

Jim: Sandburg, stop right now. 

Blair: Well, I'm just answering the fucking question. What's the big deal? 

Connor: Sandy, the question is almost a two fold one. You have to ask and think it. Have you ever thought that when you were with Jim? 

Jim: Excuse me; he never said a word about me. 

Simon: We all know he says trust me to you, Jim. 

Jim: Connor, could we please move on. 

Joel: Oh that's right, Jim tells him it's the two scariest words in the English language. 

Simon: Gotta love Sandburg, don't ya? 

Brown: He is funny. 

Rafe: I thought this was a serious question. How was it turned around to he's cute and funny? 

Jim: Get a grip, Rafe. 

Rafe: You wish, Ellison. 

Simon: I'm not going to tell you two to settle down again.   
Jim, the next time you go for him, I'm going to shove you back into your seat and you'll not be doing anything for a good long while. 

Brown: Man, that's too funny, Simon. 

Blair: Simon just made a gay joke. Cool, man. 

Simon: Connor, please move this along. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I love you. " but thought, "God what have I gotten myself into?" 

 

Joel: I might have thought that once. 

Jim: I've never thought that. 

Blair: I've thought it a few times. 

Simon: Jim, get the hurt look off your face. 

Brown: I'm sure he's talking about some wild woman he was with before you. 

Connor: Sandy, did you ever feel that way about Jim? 

Jim: I don't want to know. 

Blair: Jim, settle down. 

Rafe: Hey, this is getting good. 

Brown: Shut up, Rafe. 

Rafe: So did you feel trapped when he first fucked you or something and just said that to appease him? 

Simon: Rafe, I can't believe you just asked that. 

Rafe: Why? I bet you're all thinking it. 

Connor: We might be, but we wouldn't have asked it. Jim, please don't be upset. 

Blair: Yeah, I've thought it a few times with you, Jim. You have a way of making a person question how they feel now and then. Like right now. I love you--you know I do. At first, I was a little scared. 

Rafe: Oh isn't that fucking cute? 

Jim: Rafe, I kid you not, learn to shut the fuck up, or I'll never speak to you again. 

Blair: Jim, I love you. You know that, right? 

Jim: So how do I know you're not just saying it now? (Blair pulls him in for a kiss, that shows Jim how much he really does love him.)

Rafe: Man, stop it. Jesus, Simon. Make them stop kissing. 

Simon: Hey I think Jim needed that. 

Blair: Got that big man? 

Jim: Got it. 

Joel: You two are so romantic, it depresses us single folks. 

Jim: Thanks, Joel. 

Rafe: Wuss Puss alert. It's spreading. 

Brown: Hey I think they're cute too. 

Simon: Rafe, you might be right. We'll have shirts made. We survived the Wuss Puss Sessions and lived to tell about it.

Jim: Thanks a lot Simon. 

Simon: You're welcome. Now lets move on. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I think we should just be friends." but thought. "You're ugly. " 

 

Jim: I've said let's be friends, but never because of how someone looked. 

Blair: Same here. 

Joel: I agree with you. 

Simon: Nope, never said it or thought it. 

Brown: My Mama would kick my ass. 

Rafe: How come you're such a mama's boy? 

Simon: If you know what's good for you Rafe, you won't bring Henry's mom into this. 

Brown: That's okay. Let him, I'd love to kick his ass. 

Rafe: Geeze, what a bunch of grouches. I've never said it.

Connor: Wait a minute. Simon, Brown and Rafe, you've never said, "Lets just be friends?" 

Rafe: Oh yeah, I've said that. I've never said, "You're ugly." 

Simon: I can't believe you just said that, Rafe. 

Brown: I've never felt comfortable enough with anyone after breaking up to be friends with them. 

Simon: I feel the same way. While the going is good, let's go, Connor.

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "Haven't I seen you before?" but thought, "Nice ass. " 

 

Jim: (choke...choke...choke...) 

Simon: Are you okay, Jim? 

Blair: He'll be fine. He's in shock, because I said that exact same thing last night. 

Rafe: (choke...choke...choke...) Warn a person before you say something like that, Sandburg. 

Jim: Sandburg, I'm going to kick that fine ass of yours. 

Brown: You guys are just too cute. 

Joel: That's usually my line, Brown. I do believe that these guys are growing on you. 

Brown: Yeah, well, it takes awhile to get used to the idea, but once you do, they're fucking cute. 

Jim: Oh goody, they think we're fucking cute. 

Blair: Jim, you tell me all the time that I fuck cute. 

Jim: Stop now. 

Blair: Okay, boss man. 

Simon: Good save, Ellison. 

Rafe: too late. We all heard what he said. 

Connor: Does it bother you to hear talk like that Rafe? Do you suppose that it's because you're insecure and afraid that someone will come on to you. 

Jim: (Choke...choke...choke...) 

Simon: That's enough Jim. You're scaring me here. 

Connor: Sorry Jim. 

Jim: Warn a person next time. 

Rafe: What? You think no guy would come on to me. 

Jim: Yup, that's what we think. 

Blair: I know no one would. You're an ass. We need more than an ass. 

Jim: Good one, Chief. 

Rafe: Ewwwwww 

Simon: Connor, can we get to the next one. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I want to make love." but thought, "I want to make love." 

 

Jim: All the time. 

Joel: That's so nice. 

Connor: You are a romantic. Sandy is he always like this? 

Blair: Yup. I say and mean it too. 

Joel: OH yeah, I do too. 

Rafe: I've never told anyone I really love them. 

Jim: What do you say, Rafe? I almost love you? 

Rafe: Fuck you, Ellison. 

Jim: What do you say? 

Rafe: I don't say anything like that. I might think it, but I don't say it. 

Brown: That's too bad, Rafe. I say it often and I love saying it. 

Simon: I haven't said it in a long time. But hope to one of these days. 

Blair: Oh man, Simon is a hopeful romantic. 

Simon: Connor, time for the next one. I'm getting tired of this. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "Was it good for you?" but meant, "I'm insecure about my manhood." 

 

Jim: Hell yes. 

Joel: Yes, same here. 

Brown: Glad to hear it wasn't just me. 

Simon: Yes, me too. 

Blair: Jim, is that what you mean when you say that? 

Jim: (choke...choke...choke...) 

Simon: Okay, Sandburg, enough is enough. 

Blair: I was serious. 

Jim: Chief, please stop the joking.

Connor: Sandy, does he ask this and not even realize it? 

Blair: I guess so. 

Jim: I do not ask that. 

Blair: You do too. Swear to them that you've never said it. 

Jim: Fine, maybe I've said it once, but that's not what I meant. 

Blair: We'll talk about it later, Jim. 

Joel: Jim, it's not that unusual. 

Jim: I don't say it to Sandburg. 

Blair: Yes you do, Jim. 

Simon: Sandburg, we don't want to know everything about you and Jim. 

Blair: Fine. 

Connor: Sandy, don't be upset. 

Jim: Chief, we'll talk later, okay? 

Blair: Go fuck yourself, Jim. 

Simon: Connor, I see this going down the drain fast. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I feel it's time to express our love for each other" but thought, "Give me head. " 

 

Simon: Well, we'll be hearing this from the dynamic duo soon. 

Jim: Fuck you, Simon. 

Joel: No, I've never said this. But I might have thought it. 

Brown: I might have done both. Said and thought. 

Rafe: Finally, one I can say I truly answered. I've done both too. 

Blair: He thinks it's something to be proud of. 

Rafe: Why don't you answer, my fairy boy. 

Jim: Shut the fuck up, Rafe. 

Rafe: He can fight his own battles, Ellison. 

Blair: Yeah. 

Connor: So Sandy, what about the question? 

Blair: I've said and thought both. Don't you be giving me those go to hell looks Ellison. I'm not proud of it. But yes, I thought and said them. 

Joel: But never to Jim, right? 

Jim: Shut up, Blair. 

Blair: You can't tell me what to do, Ellison. Yes, I've done both to him. 

Brown: Low blow, Hairboy. 

Blair: Hey, it was before I realized how much I loved the big lug. 

Rafe: So like now you never think it or say it? 

Blair: No, I don't. Now if I want head, I ask for it. 

Rafe: Geeze, why do I leave myself open for this? 

Connor: Jim, I think it's sweet, that he now feels open enough to be able to ask things in your relationship. 

Jim: You don't have to try to fix everything, Connor. Some things aren't ever going to be fixed. 

Blair: You dumping me, Jim? 

Jim: Maybe. 

Rafe: All right, Jim. We'll get you back on the horse in no time. 

Simon: Jim come on back here. I'll be right back. Sandburg, stay here. You've done enough. 

Blair: Rafe, you go in there and tell him you didn't mean that. 

Rafe: Didn't mean what? 

Blair: About him getting right back on the horse. 

Rafe: But I did, Hairboy. 

Joel: Blair, things will work out. Don't worry so much. 

Blair: Man, I fucked up bad. I've never seen him look that sad. 

Connor: Shit, this is going to piss me off big time. This was meant to learn things about you all, not tear Sandy and Jim apart. 

Simon: Okay, everyone, Jim's coming back and we're going to leave he and Blair alone to talk. Let’s leave them alone. Now, people. 

 

Jim: I'm sorry, baby. 

Blair: Jim, you're not the one who was an ass. I'm so sorry. I love you more than life itself. 

Jim: I'm an insecure twit. I'm truly sorry for that. I think that sometimes you deserve better. 

Blair: I won't have my man talking about himself that way. Jim, I want to go home and have you make love to me all night long. 

Jim: You're got a deal. (Smooching noises.) 

 

Simon: Okay, our work is done, folks. Let's go home. 

Connor: God, that was scary for a second. 

Simon: Nah, they're too perfect for each other. They just need to be reminded sometimes. 

Rafe: Yeah, they are pretty cute together. 

Connor: Rafe, I still have my tape recorder on. 

Rafe: And? 

Connor: I'm going to tell Jim and Sandy. 

Joel: Let's leave them alone and go home. 

Brown: I don't know about anyone else, but I don't want to be alone right now. Anyone want to go out for dessert and coffee? 

Connor: You're on. 

Joel: Sounds good to me. 

Rafe: Yeah, count me in. 

Simon: Okay, looks like we'll all meet up at Millers Coffee Shop. See you there. 

Rafe: Night Jim and Blair. 

Simon: Night Ellison and Sandburg. 

Joel: Night Ellison and Blair. 

Connor: Night Sandy and Jimbo. 

Brown: Night Ellison and Hairboy.


	6. Real Men Always Answer 'C'...

Sullivan’s Pub Part 6

Conner's Quiz 3 

 

 

Real Men Always Answer 'C'... 

Thanks so much to Margaret in Arizona. 

"Guys, I'm going to ask you these questions, you each give me your answer and I'll keep track for the end. Okay?" Conner said as she smiled thinking about the torment she could cause with this one. 

1.) Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and   
you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic   
friendship, they present you   
with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of   
curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy,   
wiping out hunger and poverty, and   
permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire   
Earth. You decide to:   
A: Present it to local Government Officials.   
B: Present it only to the President of the U.S.   
C: Take it apart. 

Joel: Well, it's gotta be C, because you can't give something to the president if you don't know how it works or what it will do. Right? 

 

Simon: I think C, also. 

 

Jim: I agree. I wouldn't hand it over to them for anything.

 

Blair: Are you guys frigging nuts? You're going to take apart something that was given to us but a superior species and destroy it? I'd give it to the government. They'd know what to do. 

 

Rafe: Sandburg, don't you watch X-files? 

 

Brown: Yeah, we'd never see it again. Unless of course it made money for someone in government. 

 

Blair: You all are much too cautious. I trust the government to a certain extent. 

 

Jim: Believe me, I don't trust them at all, with good reason. 

 

Conner: Okay, guys, we'll move on to the next one. 

 

 

2.) As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you   
miss the most?   
A: Innocence.   
B: Idealism.   
C: Cherry bombs. 

 

 

Joel: God, I haven't thought about Cherry Bombs in years. 

 

Jim: They were always the coolest things. I say, C also.

 

Simon: Well, I think perhaps I agree again. I was never that innocent and I never had any ideals. 

 

Rafe: Man, we're all agreeing here. What's up with that. I say C, also. 

 

Brown: I'll say C, only because like Simon, I don't think I had the other two to start with. 

 

Blair: Well, you guys are nut jobs. I say I miss my Idealism the most. B for me. 

 

 

 

3.) In your opinion, the ideal pet is:   
A: A cat.   
B: A dog.   
C: A dog that eats cats. 

 

 

Joel: Oh that is such a funny one. I'll go with C. I'm not a big cat person. 

 

Jim: Me either. 

 

Blair: Jim, what the fuck are you talking about? You are a cat person. I'll say A. 

 

Jim: Blair, this is my question and I say C. I like that answer better than A. 

 

Brown: Definitely C. 

 

Rafe: C cracks me up. I'll go that way too. 

 

Simon: Well, I don't want to be in with Sandburg, so I'll go with C, too. 

 

 

 

4.) You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two   
of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers. Suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, she tells you that she thinks she really loves   
you, but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only   
whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say? 

 

A: That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it. 

 

B: That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope. 

 

C: That you cannot believe the Packers called a draw play on third and seventeen. 

 

 

Jim: Only a woman would choose to discuss something like that during a football game. I'll go with C. 

 

Brown: I gotta agree with Jim here. C, all the way. 

 

Rafe: C for me too. 

 

Simon: C again. 

 

Joel: Well, although I think maybe one of the others might have been better, I can't believe someone would choose to discuss that during a game. 

 

Blair: Hello? Is anyone home? You're all missing the fucking point. She wants to know if there is a future. She could give a fuck about the football game. 

 

Jim: See, that's why I date Sandburg. 

 

Blair: Jim, I don't agree with you. I say A. 

 

Jim: I can't believe you would discuss this during football season. 

 

Blair: I can't believe you wouldn't. 

 

Simon: I see trouble coming. Move it, Conner.

 

 

5.) Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to   
offer, come what may. How do you tell her? 

 

A: You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner. 

 

B: You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her. 

 

C: Tell her what? 

 

 

Joel: Okay, I'm totally lost here. I don't know what you would have to tell her. If she's smart she'll know.

 

Jim: I say C, also. 

 

Blair: I don't fucking believe this, Jim. I'm going to break up with you if you don't straighten up. 

 

Jim: Take a chill pill, Chief. 

 

Rafe: I say, C also. 

 

Brown: Hell I forgot the question. But I'll go with C since you all are. 

 

Blair: Hello, I'm not. I'm going to go with B. 

 

Simon: B? B? Sandburg, you act like a fucking fag. Oh yeah, you are. Sorry. Jim, I don't know how you can stand this touchy feely crap all the time. 

 

Jim: Chief, you know that you might go with one of the other answers. 

 

Blair: Ellison, you're never getting fucked again. Do you understand that? 

 

 

6.) One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is: 

 

A: "Do they need to eat or anything?"   
B: "They're in school already?"   
C: "There are three of them?" 

 

 

Joel: God, you have to love that last one. That's funny. 

 

Jim: Of course I wouldn't say C. I mean I would know that we had three kids. So I guess I'd go with A. 

 

Rafe: Ellison, you're such a wuss puss. I'm going with C. It's funnier. 

 

Brown: Yeah, it's funnier. 

 

Simon: Okay, this one is past stupid. I mean, even I wouldn't ask any of those questions. So I guess I'll go with A. 

 

Blair: You're all fruit loops. All of the answers are stupid. I wouldn't answer this one at all. 

 

Jim: But Chief, we're supposed to answer all of them, Conner said. 

 

Blair: And do you jump off a bridge when she tells you to? 

 

Jim: You don't have to be so shitty, Chief. 

 

Blair: You haven't seen shitty yet, hot shot. 

 

 

7.) When is it okay to throw away a set of aged underwear? 

 

A: When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs. 

 

B: When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers. 

 

C: It is never okay to throw away underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody (and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear, which she is frankly

jealous of, because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her. 

 

 

Jim: Man, I can't believe this question is on here. Chief, you know that I have to check to see if you do this. 

 

Blair: Yes, you do. I'm so fucking depressed. 

 

Jim: So, anyhow, my answer is C. 

 

Joel: Mine is too. 

 

Simon: I think C also. 

 

Rafe: I never really thought about it, but hate to be the only one not saying C. 

 

Brown: I don't believe I've ever thrown any out. 

 

Jim: Chief, do you hear that. I'm not the only one that holds on to his underwear. 

 

Blair: Well, good, I hope you and your undies will be very happy all alone, you fucking loon. What I can't believe is that there are this many questions that you guys all agree on. Ellison, I still mean what I said earlier. 

 

Jim: That you’re going to show me how much you love me? 

 

Blair: Guess again, monkey boy.

 

Simon: (Howling.) Monkey boy? Conner, move on.

 

 

 

8.) What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land? 

 

A: He was being tested. 

 

B: He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there. 

 

C: He refused to ask for directions. 

 

 

Jim: You know everyone makes jokes about this, but I hate to ask directions. It's like giving in. And just think, if they'd have given in, they'd be written up as wusses in the Bible. 

 

Blair: Jim, I'm in total shock now. I mean, I can't believe I thought I loved you. 

 

Jim: For crying out loud Blair, take a breather. 

 

Simon: I agree with Ellison. It would have changed everything. 

 

Blair: Hello, are you all nuts? 

 

Rafe: Sandburg, they're right. It would have changed things. The Bible might never have been written. 

 

Brown: Yeah, I would say, C, also. 

 

Blair: You guys are nuts. I'm telling you. The correct answer is A. 

 

Jim: The correct answer is not A. Like you know. Blair, you get lost all the time. How many times have you stopped and asked for directions? 

 

Blair: I wasn't in the desert and leading people to the promised land either. 

 

Jim: You can evade a question like no one else. 

 

Simon: Sandburg, quit pulling your hair out. If you lose it, you'll look just like Jim. 

 

Blair: Thanks for reminding me, Simon.

 

Jim: What do you mean by that?

 

Blair: Nothing. Go wander in the fucking desert for a few years. 

 

Conner: Sandy, you are so damned cute. 

 

Jim: Back off, Conner. 

 

Blair: Are you telling our friend she can’t say things to me? I hope not, because if you are, I’m slapping the shit out of you now.

 

Jim: (Pouting.)

 

Simon: Conner, let’s go.

 

 

9.) What is the human race's single greatest achievement? 

 

A: Democracy. 

 

B: Religion. 

 

C: TV remote control. 

 

 

Joel: Have you seen those new remotes, that control all of your equipment? That's what I want to invest in. One that runs the stereo, the VCR and the television. So my answer would be C.

 

Jim: Yeah, C sounds good to me too. 

 

Simon: Well, I realize that to Sandburg it won't be much, but those remotes are nice. Very nice. 

 

Brown: Okay, I have to go with C, too. I just got one, Joel and it's great. 

 

Joel: Tell me later and you can help me pick one out and set it up. 

 

Rafe: I have one too. Henry and I shopped together that day. They're great, Joel. 

 

Blair: I don't fucking believe any of you. You're all insane. The answer is A. To some it might even be B. But never C. Man, what a bunch of losers, Conner please tell us what these mean. 

 

Conner: Well what it means is Sandy is the only man among you that has a mind of his own and can think rational thoughts. 

 

Jim: Oh that's fucking bullshit. 

 

Joel: Yeah, what he said. 

 

Simon: Conner do you actually have something that says that? Or did you just make it up as you went along.

 

Conner: I have the answer right here, Simon. 

 

Rafe: Well, it's stupid. Blair is a wuss. That's what it should say. 

 

Brown: I think it should say that we all agree to disagree. But it shouldn't say we don't have rational thoughts. We do, sometimes. 

 

Blair: Conner, I can't believe that they don't see this as a bad thing. Geeze, its fucking scary. 

 

Conner: It's scary all right. But it's going to be worse for poor Jim. Want to stay at my apartment for a while, Sandy? 

 

Blair: Yeah, that would be great. Thanks. 

 

Jim: Chief, I'm sorry. I'll do it over again and do it right. Like you want me to. 

 

Rafe: Oh god, this is just depressing to witness. 

 

Blair: Rafe, I won't be helping you fix your computer this weekend and never again at work either. 

 

Rafe: Okay, I think you should start over again, Conner. 

 

Brown: You are both wusses. He doesn't hold anything over my head. 

 

Blair: Yeah, that's right, Brown. I was going to introduce you to our new neighbor that I was telling you about. But that's okay. 

 

Brown: Shit. Okay, I'll vote for starting over. 

 

Joel: Blair? Are you still going to make chili this weekend for me? 

 

Blair: No. 

 

Joel: Okay, it will only take a few minutes to answer the questions right. 

 

Simon: Jesus, I can't believe the control this man has over all of you. It's pathetic. 

 

Blair: Oh Simon, I talked to that guy about the cigars, but I'll tell him to forget it. 

 

Simon: Fuck... Fine, lets start over again, Conner. 

 

Conner: Okay, once more from the start, who is the wuss puss and who isn't?

 

Everyone by Blair: We are!!!!


	7. Have you ever said, but thought?

Sullivan’s Pub Part 7  
Have you ever said, but thought?  
Connor's Quiz 4   
Patt 

 

  
“Hey guys, you ready for another survey?” Connor asked as she got her paperwork together. 

“I’m ready.” Jim said. 

“Is it going to be better than last week?” Simon asked. 

“I guess you’ll have to find out. Now let’s start.”

 

Have you ever said, but thought? 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "We need to talk." but thought, "I'm pregnant." 

 

Joel: Nope, I've never said this or thought it. 

Connor: But Joel has anyone ever said it to you, and you wondered about it? 

Joel: Nope. 

Jim: I've never said it or thought it, but I once thought that someone was going to say this to me. 

Brown: Man, is Sandburg pregnant? 

Rafe: You know, now that you mention it, he's put on a little bit of weight.

Blair: Very funny guys. 

Simon: I've never said this, but I heard it once and that was enough. 

Jim: Simon stop trying to be so tough, you know that Daryl is the best thing that ever happened to you. 

Simon: Who said I was talking about Joan? 

Jim: Oh. Sorry. 

Blair: Man, we're going to have our eye on you now, Simon. 

Connor: Okay, Brown and Rafe you didn't answer. I need answers from all of you. Actually, neither did you, Sandy. Out with it guys. 

Blair: No, I've never said it or thought it. I also never thought about someone saying it to me. I'm super safe. 

Jim: Sandburg, why would you have to be super safe now? 

Blair: Ellison, I was talking about women, not you. 

Brown: I never thought this, but once someone said it to me and I panicked for a moment. We had unprotected sex and it came back to haunt us. 

Rafe: I'm always safe, so I would never have to say it or hear it. 

Jim: It must be so wonderful to be perfect, Rafe. 

Rafe: It is, Ellison. Want me to give you lessons? 

Blair: No you're not teaching him to be more anal.

Simon: I have to agree with Blair on this one. Jesus, can't you just see Ellison after a week with Rafe? 

Jim: Excuse me? Why are you talking about us like we're not here? 

Blair: Because we want you both to leave? Just kidding, hot stuff. You too, Jim. 

Simon: Wow, this one is going well Connor, move on while we're ahead. 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I had a wonderful time last night." but thought, "Who the hell are you?" 

 

Joel: Oh God, wouldn't that be awful to be that far gone. No, I've never said it or thought it. 

Simon: I agree with Joel on this one. 

Jim: I might have said the first part. However, I never thought the second. 

Blair: Jim, the whole idea is for you to say and think the two together. Otherwise, it would be all of us. I mean, we all said I had a wonderful time last night. 

Connor: Yeah, Jim, they go together. 

Jim: Fine, change the fucking rules, I don't care. Okay, I've never said it and thought it together. But I did have a good time last night. 

Rafe: Ewwwwww 

Brown: God, I was hoping we could get into at least four of these babies before you start teasing us. 

Jim: Sorry Brown. I'll be good. 

Blair: I've never said it and thought it at the same time. Jim, I had a great time last night too. 

Simon: Okay, this isn't the fucking dating game, men. 

Joel: Well, I for one find it refreshing to have them talk sweet to each other. 

Connor: So do I. 

Rafe: You would Connor. You're such a fucking romantic. 

Jim: She's a hopeful Romantic. There's a difference. 

Connor: Thanks, Jim. 

Jim: No problem Connor. 

Simon: Are we done? 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I've been thinking a lot..." but thought, "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk." 

 

Jim: Nope. 

Joel: Me either. 

Simon: That makes us three for three. 

Rafe: I might have thought the last part a couple of times. 

Brown: Man, you are a sleaze sometimes. 

Rafe: Hey, Connor said she wanted truthful answers. That's what she's getting. 

Blair: I thought it once. 

Jim: You must to be fucking kidding. Mr. I don't care about looks? 

Blair: We all have some dark areas in our lives. That's one of mine. I'm not proud of it. 

Brown: Was it anyone we know? 

Blair: I'm not telling. 

Rafe: Shit, you thought that about Jim the first time, didn't you? Holy shit. 

Blair: I didn't say that. 

Brown: Well, you didn't not say it. 

Blair: Well, I'm not saying it now. I wasn't talking about Jim. Jim, stop grinding your teeth. 

Jim: I'm still trying to figure out how you could even think that, Chief. You're the most sensitive man I've even met in my life. This blows me away. 

Blair: Jim, I'll blow you away later. Now lets move on. 

Rafe: Jesus, stop the gag me with a spoon talk. 

Simon: Connor, there is a break in the action. Let's move on. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I've learned a lot from you." But thought, "Next!" 

 

Joel: No, never. 

Jim: Is it just me, or are these questions getting cruder? 

Connor: Hey Jim, shut up. Just answer them, don't rate them. 

Blair: I've never said or thought it. 

Rafe: Hairboy, you used to do this all the time. We used to joke about it. 

Brown: Yeah, you were pretty easy with the women. Love em and leave em Sandburg. 

Jim: Well, he's mended his ways. 

Blair: I didn't have to mend my ways, Jim. I was fine. You slept with as many people as I did. Mine just weren't as exciting because they weren't criminals. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Blair: Not tonight, big boy. 

Joel: Okay, guys, lets not fight. Let's get along tonight.  
Connor, I've never said this or thought it. 

Simon: Me either. Could we get this over with quick? I have a date. 

Jim: With whom? 

Simon: None of your business. 

Blair: Simon has a secret. Simon has a secret. Simon has a secret. 

Simon: Sandburg, are you four? 

Blair: Well you'll have to ask Jim, but I'm certain I'm longer than that. 

Rafe: Jesus, now the inches jokes? Come on. 

Brown: Hey Sandburg, that was funny, now Ellison, is he? 

Jim: I don't kiss and tell. 

Blair: Well, I don't mind, Jim. Really. 

Jim: No really I don't tell. 

Blair: Well, you know those inches? They're not going to be in you for a long time, man. 

Jim: He's way more than four inches. Way more. 

Simon: It's nice to see who wears the pants in this relationship. 

Blair: Man, how does he know that you go commando, Jim? 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg.

Simon: Could we move quickly before we get sick? 

Connor: Not until you tell us who the date is with. 

Simon: Fine, it's the new DA. She asked me out. 

Connor: Way to go, Simon. She's fine. 

Jim: She is fine, Simon. Have fun.

Blair: Why were you checking her out Jim? 

Jim: I'm not dead, Chief. 

Blair: You might be soon. 

Simon: Connor, now would be a good time to move on. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I want a commitment." but thought, "I'm sick of masturbation." 

 

Joel: I'm ashamed to say, yes and yes. 

Jim: Me too. 

Brown: Oh oh. Sandburg looks pissed off. 

Blair: So, was this recently when you said and thought it? 

Jim: Well I don't remember the date exactly. 

Blair: Jim, you either said it since we've been together or not. 

Jim: I might have. 

Simon: Are we almost ready to leave, guys? 

Connor: Simon, we just started. 

Rafe: This is getting good. So Ellison, you didn't really love Hairboy, you just wanted sex? 

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. I've always loved him. He knows that. 

Blair: Then what in the hell do you mean by saying this? 

Jim: I don't know. 

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison. (Blair jumped up from the table and went towards the doorway.)

You could hear a coin drop on the floor. Pure silence as Jim started to stalk his prey. Blair kept moving away from Jim, not knowing what to expect from the larger man. What happened wasn't what he expected at all. Jim's arms went around him and the younger man could feel Jim shaking and trying to control himself. Blair wasn't quite certain of what he should do next. He did what he thought would work for either of them, and put his arms around the tall man and pulled him even closer. They stayed that way, just holding each other for a long while. Finally, Blair trusted himself to whisper to Jim. "Baby, I love you so much. You'll never know how much." 

Jim kept his face pushed into Blair's neck and the Blair could hear Jim's hitches in his breath. He knew better than to say or do anything more. He just needed to give Jim some time to collect himself. Finally after about ten minutes of pure silence, Jim pulled away and kissed Blair. It was one of those kisses that curled his toes. Oh boy, what this man could do to him. 

There was a cough, followed by Simon saying, "We're still in the room, guys." 

"Blair, buy me some time until I get back." Jim pleaded with red, swollen, eyes. 

Jim headed down to the restroom and Blair walked over to the rest of the gang and said, "Jim said to start without him. He'll be back soon." 

Simon: Is Jim all right? 

Blair: Yeah, he's fine, Simon. Don't worry. I scared him. I seem to do that a lot these days. 

Joel: Well stop it. I would just die if you two broke up.

Blair: Thanks, Joel. 

Connor: Same here, Sandy. We love you guys. You're much more important that some stupid Survey. 

Blair: Thanks, Connor. But we're fine. I just got carried away and Jim is insecure sometimes. 

Rafe: Want me to go and make sure he's all right? 

Blair: No, thanks anyhow. He'll be right out. He said to start. 

Brown: We're sorry we were pushing you two around tonight. 

Blair: Really, it's okay. 

Simon: Connor, why don't we go to the next one and see what we can possibly do with that one. 

Jim: Hey did I miss anything important? 

Simon: No, we were just about to start. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I think we should see other people." But thought, "I have been seeing other people." 

 

Joel: No, I don't believe in that. 

Simon: I'm not into it either. 

Blair: I've said it in my wilder days, but not now.

Jim: Good. 

Blair: Well, wild man, did you ever say it or think that? 

Jim: No. 

Rafe: I've said it and thought it. But I might reconsider.

Brown: Wow, why is that? You've never been a one-woman guy before. 

Rafe: I'm tired of the running around. I would like to settle down.

Brown: Anyone have a thermometer? I think Rafe is running a fever. 

Rafe: That was so funny, I almost forgot to laugh. 

Jim: Well, it's nice when you have one person to come home to. I know I like it. 

Connor: I want it. I really do. 

Jim: Then don't settle for anything less. 

Simon: Yeah, this is from the most married man in the room. 

Jim: You know that it could be that way for any of you, if you worked at it. I didn't use to work at it. 

Simon: Connor, I feel a lecture on moving on, coming up. 

 

 

Connor: Did you ever say, "Let's get married." But thought, "Does that mean we can do it now?" 

 

Joel: I think I did once. 

Jim: I might have, years ago. 

Blair: I know I did years ago. 

Simon: I know I did too. 

Rafe: Count me in. 

Brown: Yeah, once is enough. I said it and thought it once. 

Simon: Men, this is the first one that we've all agreed on. My god, will wonders never cease? 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "We don't have to do anything until you're ready" But thought, "Put out or get out." 

 

Joel: God, I hate to admit this, but once when I was young, I thought this. I didn't say it, but thinking it was bad enough. 

Jim: Yeah, I thought it a few times. 

Blair: With me, hot stuff? 

Jim: Yeah, with you. 

Blair: Goody. 

Connor: You two are just too fucking cute. 

Simon: I've said it and thought it.

Brown: I don't think I've ever said it or thought it. 

Rafe: I've done both, many times. Things have to change. 

Simon: Wow, lets move on, what do you say? 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "I still think about you." But thought, "I miss the sex." 

 

Jim: Yeah, I said that a few times after my divorce. I think that might be normal. 

Connor: I think it would be too. 

Rafe: I say and think this all the time. 

Simon: Yeah, I did and said this after Joan and I split up. I got over it. 

Brown: I've said this and thought it. 

Blair: I've never said this and meant something else. However, I have said it. 

Joel: I've said this a few times and thought it too. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever had someone ask you, "Is there something wrong?" "Or is it supposed to be this soft?" 

 

Joel: Man, that's a scary one. No, I've never been asked this. 

Jim: Maybe once. 

Blair: You're joking? 

Jim: I was drunk. 

Blair: Jim, I think that you take this telling the truth thing way too seriously. 

Simon: Yeah, I was drunk once too. 

Joel: Fine if you're going to tell the truth, I will too. I had it happen a couple of times, but I don't remember what it was. I don't think I was drunk. 

Blair: Joel, do I have to give you a talk about always telling the truth too? 

Rafe: Thank god, no. 

Brown: Same here. 

Jim: You've never had it happen? 

Rafe: No, never. 

Blair: It happened to me once. 

Brown: With Jim or a woman? 

Jim: Jesus, don't answer that Chief. 

Blair: Okay, maybe twice. 

Jim: I think now would be a good time to move on, Connor. 

Connor: Blair, you're the youngest, and you're telling me that twice you couldn't get it up? 

Blair: Hey, you asked, I'm telling the truth. I didn't know I was going to be badgered. 

Brown: So what makes it happen, Hairboy? 

Blair: Both times I was upset. 

Jim: I'm almost ready to go home. 

Rafe: OH man, it was with Jim, wasn't it? 

Blair: I'm not saying. 

Simon: Connor, please move this along. 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "You're so mature." But thought, "I hope you're eighteen." 

 

Rafe: Hell yes. 

Brown: I've wondered it. 

Joel: Thank god, no. 

Jim: No. 

Simon: No. 

Blair: Yeah, I've said and wondered many times. 

Joel: Blair you'd sleep with someone you weren't certain was 18? 

Blair: Not now, Joel. However, I was 17 at the time. 

Connor: Oh Sandy, you are so cute. 

Jim: Connor stop telling him that, he'll get a big head.

Blair: You've always said you liked my head. 

Simon: Connor please? 

 

 

Connor: Have you ever said, "Yes...YES...(SCREAM!!)." but thought, "Aren't you done yet?" 

 

Joel: No. 

Jim: No. 

Blair: Yeah a couple of times. 

Jim: Lately? 

Blair: Jim, get a grip. 

Simon: I don't even want to go there. No, I've never said it or thought it. 

Rafe: Yeah, I said it once. 

Blair: What do you mean you said it once? 

Rafe: We don't have to give examples do we? 

Blair: Connor, tell him he has to give examples. 

Connor: Rafe, you started it. Finish it.

Rafe: Fine when I was 17; I let a guy fuck me. Happy now? 

Brown: Holy shit, Rafe. 

Rafe: Kidding, I was kidding. 

Brown: You better be kidding. 

Jim: Why? Why had he better be kidding? 

Brown: Because if someone hurt him and he didn't tell me about it, I'd kick his ass. 

Jim: Oh, all right.

Rafe: I was joking you guys. 

Simon: Good, I'm glad to hear it. Now what is your answer? 

Rafe: No. 

Jim: Rafe, I want to talk to you later. 

Rafe: I was joking, Ellison. Save your over protectiveness for Sandburg. 

Connor: Okay, guys, thanks a lot. I'm getting so much information from all of you it isn't even funny. I adore you all.


	8. Sullivan's Pub Part 8

Sullivan’s Pub Part 8  
Connor's Quiz 5   
Patt

 

The men didn’t like to admit to it, but they enjoyed these weekly meetings at Sullivan’s. They would continue to pretend they hated them, for Connor’s sake. Men are so stupid sometimes. 

 

THE LAST THING ANY MAN WOULD EVER SAY: 

 

Connor: I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker. 

 

Joel: Hey, I think Barry Manilow has a lovely voice. 

Simon: Joel, I'm going to have you reprogrammed.

Joel: Doesn't anyone else like him? 

Jim: Joel, Blair doesn't even like him. 

Blair: Hey, what do you mean by that? 

Jim: I mean, you'll listen to just about anything and you don't listen to him, so that's bad. 

Rafe: I don't' mind him. 

Joel: Oh god, I do need to be reprogrammed. 

Rafe: Why are you insulting me, Joel? I'm agreeing with you. 

Brown: Okay, I have to say that I think you're all nuts. Now someone want to tell me who Barry Manilow is. Hey Ellison, stop throwing things at me. 

Blair: Good one, Brown. 

 

 

Connor: While I'm up, can I get you a beer? 

 

Blair: Well Jim says that to me, all the time. 

Jim: You say it to me, too. 

Blair: I guess I do. 

Rafe: Jesus, the wuss puss's are back in force and we just started. 

Brown: Wait a minute. I don't understand why this would make them wusses. 

Rafe: Because if you're a real man, you'll get up and get your own drink. 

Simon: Now, Brian, did you read this in some, Real Men book? 

Rafe: Simon, laugh all you want, but it's true. Real men, don't ask another man if they'd like something while they're up. 

Joel: Well, I ask this of anyone that comes into my home, and I consider myself a real man, Rafe. 

Rafe: Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but since you've been hanging out with Blair and Jim, you've been acting less and less like a real man. 

Jim: Rafe, I can't believe you're saying that to Joel. Say it to me if you want, but not Joel. 

Joel: Jim, don't worry about me. Real men can fight their own battles. So we're all on our own. 

Blair: Hey, I like that, Joel. 

Simon: I would ask someone if they wanted something while I was up. 

Rafe: God, Simon, even you are turning into a wuss. 

Simon: Do I have to remind you again, who the boss is, Rafe? 

Rafe: Simon, you can't keep threatening me with that. It's just not right. 

Simon: Well, real men can take it. 

Jim: (high five-ing Simon) Good one, Simon. 

Simon: I don't get paid those mediocre bucks for nothing. 

 

Connor: I think hairy butts are really sexy. 

Simon: All right, Connor, why in the hell would that be in the survey? 

Connor: Simon, why not? The whole idea is things you wouldn't say. 

Blair: Well some of us might thing they're sexy. 

Simon: Connor, I'm going to make you pay for this, and pay for it big time. 

Connor: Simon, who would know that Blair would answer it with that? 

Blair: Well, it's the truth. Haven't you ever seen a movie and thought, god, that guy has a nice ass? 

Joel: Not that I remember. 

Brown: I would remember. No, I've never said that, or thought it. 

Rafe: God, I can't believe we're only three questions into this and already Blair's talking about Jim's ass. 

Jim: I'll have you know, he's not talking about mine. 

Simon: Well, Ellison, you're taking that really well then. 

Blair: Well of course he is because... 

Jim: Shut up, Blair. 

Simon: Excuse me, Jim, but I think this is a free country.   
He's allowed to talk if he wants to. 

Jim: Not if he wants to go home with me, Simon. 

Blair: Are you threatening me? Like you could withhold sex for any length of time. He's a slut. 

Jim: Blair, I'm warning you, shut up. 

Rafe: So tell us Hairboy, why wouldn't you have been talking about Jim's ass before? 

Blair: Cuz. 

Jim: I swear, Sandburg, I'll stop talking to you. 

Blair: Fine. I was kidding. 

Rafe: Holy Shit. I bet Ellison shaves his ass all nice and smooth. Is that it, Ellison? 

Jim: Shut up, Rafe. 

Brown: Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I shave mine. 

Rafe: What the fuck are you talking about, Brown? 

Brown: I don't know. What was the question? 

Rafe: Why would you say you shaved your ass? 

Brown: Because I do, what's wrong with that. Geeze, I thought most men did. The hair gets in the way.

Blair: (Thud...) Well Brown, you've gone and said something so easily that Jim should have been able to say. 

Brown: Jim, I think it's fine to do it. 

Jim: Why are we discussing my and Brown's butt hair? 

Blair: Because it's so fucking fascinating. 

Jim: Well, why don't you tell them about your's then? 

Blair: Fine, I shave mine too. 

Joel: Is it uncomfortable when it grows back in? 

Simon: I can't believe we're discussing this crap.

Jim: Joel, I keep my shaved, so it never really grows back in, if you get my drift. 

Joel: And this is comfortable for you? 

Brown: Hell yes, I think it's one of the best things I ever did. I wouldn't go without shaving now. 

Rafe: God, you're all turning into wusses. God, I can't believe I ever listen to this shit. 

Simon: Connor, could we move on before we're forced to hear anything else personal about each other? 

 

Connor: Her tits are just too big. 

 

Joel: This is something I've never said, or thought. 

Connor: Well that's the whole point, Joel. They say that men wouldn't be caught saying it for anything, because to you, tits are never too big. 

Simon: Connor, need I remind you that we shouldn't be talking about this stuff? 

Connor: It's part of the survey, sir. 

Joel: Okay, then I have looked at a woman once and said, she might fall over if she doesn't get help standing up. And it turned me off. 

Rafe: God, you're an official wuss, Joel. I'll bring badges and awards next week. 

Joel: Well, I don't believe that women need huge breasts. 

Jim: I don't believe it either. 

Blair: I used to like them. Oh hell, who am I kidding, I still wouldn't say it. 

Jim: You're still looking. 

Simon: Jim stop right now. Blair can say something without it being a personal attack on you. So, get a grip. 

Jim: Fine…

Brown: I've never said it, never thought it and I believe that a woman's breasts should not come into the matter of choosing if they're a good date or not.

Joel: Good answer, Brown. 

Rafe: You're all wusses. 

Jim: So what is your answer, hot shot? 

Rafe: The bigger the better. So , no I wouldn't have said a word.

Connor: You are such a creep, Rafe.

Simon: Okay, I see this going downhill, Connor. Could we move now? 

 

 

Connor: Sometimes I just want to be held. 

 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: I wasn't going to say a fucking word, big man. 

Joel: Hell I think and say this. 

Rafe: Simon, you have to keep him away from them.

Jim: Rafe, you've never wanted to be held? 

Rafe: I didn't say that. 

Jim: Yes, you just did. 

Rafe: I just wouldn't say it out loud. 

Blair: Rafe, you're saying that you would love to be held, but wouldn't want to ask her to hold you? 

Rafe: Yeah, that's it. 

Jim: Man, that's sad. 

Joel: That is sad.

Connor: I think the woman is lucky.

Rafe: Fuck you, Connor. 

Simon: Okay moving this along. 

Jim: Wait, we didn't all answer.

Simon: Yes, I've felt this and asked it too. And if you call me a wuss, Rafe, I'm going to pop you one right in your mouth. 

Rafe: Connor, when you started this, did you know that it was going to be like a form of abuse for Simon to use against all of us? 

Connor: Rafe, I think you are the wuss. The other guys are real men, you're the fucking wuss. 

Brown: Okay, my turn. I love to be held, Rafe. Does this make me a wuss. 

Rafe: Do you say, Sometimes I just want to be held? 

Brown: No, they just hold me, I don't have to tell or ask. 

Rafe: Then it's fine. You're not a wuss unless you bring it up. 

Simon: Rafe, I'm going to knock your block off in about ten seconds. 

Jim: Simon, it's not worth it. I take it you've asked to be held on occasion? 

Simon: Well hell I thought we all did. I guess I was wrong.

Blair: Well, I think that if you're in tune with your partner, you shouldn't have to ask or say. It should be second nature. 

Connor: So, Sandy, you know when Jim needs to be held. 

Blair: Yeah, Connor, I do. 

Connor: That is so fucking great. I wish I had someone like that. 

Joel: Me too. 

Simon: Me three. 

Brown: Actually I have someone right now, that does hold me rather nicely. 

Simon: Could we move on? I'm depressed. 

 

Connor: That chick on Murder, She Wrote gives me a woody. 

 

Jim: (choke...choke...choke...) 

Blair: Jim, you okay? 

Jim: Connor, where in the hell are you getting these questions? 

Connor: From my teacher. He posts them daily and we get to take our choices. Now anyone want to answer this one?

Jim: Jesus, I would die if I got a woody from her. Not that she isn't a nice woman, I'm sure she is. But shit. She could be my Mom. Or my Gramma. 

Blair: Well actually... 

Rafe: Oh give me a break. 

Blair: Did you ever see her in movies when she was young? She was gorgeous. She could give me a woody. 

Connor: Now that is the nicest thing I've ever heard. She might not do it now, but you still remember how she looked. That's so sweet. 

Brown: Then why is Ellison pissed off? 

Jim: I'm not pissed off. 

Blair: Jim, it was just an example. 

Jim: I guess I didn't realize that you were still watching women. 

Blair: Jim, we're talking about Angela L. here. Get a grip.

Jim: Forget it. 

Connor: Jim, you have some major insecurity issues. You really need some work on them. 

Jim: fuck you, Connor. 

Connor: Whatever works, big man. 

Blair: Whoa. Back up. He's my big man, not yours.

Joel: Now I think that's the first time I've ever seen Sandburg get pissed off at Connor. 

Connor: Sandy, I'm sorry. I was joking. 

Jim: Chief, thanks. 

Blair: For what? 

Jim: For loving me. 

Conner: OH shit, this romance stuff is killing me.

Brown: You're too cute for words. 

Rafe: No, there are words. They're called wuss pusses.

Jim: Shut up Rafe, you're ruining the moment. 

Simon: Could we move on, while we're all still relatively young? 

 

Connor: Sure I'd love to wear a condom. 

 

Joel: Well, actually, I do say and think this. It's that age of safety. 

Jim: Yeah, been there, done that. 

Joel: So you and Blair still practice safe sex? 

Simon: Whoa. Whoa. Back this up. We're not going to even go there. Do not, I repeat, do not answer that, Ellison. 

Jim: Okay. 

Joel: Tell me later on Jim, okay? 

Jim: Sure. 

Connor: Well, now we all want to know. Tell us Sandy.

Blair: No, I think we really should move on to something else. 

Rafe: Good thinking, Sandburg. For once you answered like a real man. 

Blair: Rafe, if you don't stop making the real man jokes, I'm going to real man something up your ass. 

Rafe: Well, that's really a great thought, Sandburg. How would Ellison feel about that, eh? 

Jim: Blair, I'm going to have to kick his ass. 

Blair: Jim, you won't have to, I'm going to do it for you. Rafe, you're being an asshole. 

Rafe: Sorry. Really I am. 

Jim: Yeah, right. 

Rafe: I am. 

Simon: Well, I just want to move on. 

Jim: Well we need to answer the question sir. 

Simon: Yes, I practice safe sex, so think and say it all the time. 

Connor: I'm shocked that you all take it so seriously. Sandy, why the odd look? 

Blair: No reason. Just wondering what everyone thinks about wearing gloves when you're with your mate, partner, wife or husband. 

Connor: Well, I for one, wouldn't want to have to use a condom with him if we were monogamous. 

Rafe: But how do you know that the person is monogamous? 

Brown: That's what scares me. 

Joel: It's all pretty scary these days. Well, Jim and Blair are the only ones in a steady relationship. How do you two feel about it?

Jim: I think you should be able to go bareback if you trust the person enough. 

Blair: And what if that person isn't always trustworthy? 

Jim: Sandburg? 

Blair: Shit, I don't mean, us big man. I'm talking about people in general.

Jim: Why not scare the shit out of me. 

Simon: But see Jim, this is the whole point. What if Blair was sleeping with someone else right now and you didn't know? 

Jim: I'd know. 

Simon: You're missing the point, Jim. 

Jim: No, I'm not. I trust Blair and he trusts me. Right, Chief? 

Blair: Right... 

Jim: Wait a minute. You don't trust me? 

Simon: Connor could we please move on, I beg you. That's an order in fact. 

Blair: We'll talk later on, Jim. 

Jim: No, we'll talk now. 

Simon: Jim, I think with us here it might not be the time and place. 

Blair: Fine, I think that sometimes I don't trust you. 

Jim: What the fuck are you talking about? 

Blair: Sometimes I watch you while you're watching old dates, and you have a look of loss on your face. So, I guess I've always believed that you might have to go elsewhere to make you happy all the time. 

Jim: I don't fucking believe you thought that. Chief, I've been with no one but you since we've been together. How long have you felt this way? 

Blair: Since the start. Sorry Jim. 

Simon: This is why you should have been more careful, Blair. If you believed he was sleeping with someone else, shouldn't you have taken more precautions? 

Blair: I guess so. Jim, I'm really sorry. 

Jim: We'll talk about it later on. 

Simon: Connor could we move on NOW? 

 

 

Connor: Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Aly McBeal. 

 

Joel: Man, I don't see me saying this. 

Jim: I would never say this. 

Blair: Jim, we like Aly Mcbeal. 

Jim: But they didn't know that, Blair.

Blair: Oops, sorry. 

Simon: I like the show. That Black woman DA is hot. 

Joel: I like that show too. 

Brown: I like all the music, it's usually pretty good.

Simon: I agree, it almost makes me want to jump up and dance sometimes. 

Rafe: I swear, you are all weird. I hate that show. It reminds me of lawyers coming from that old show 30 Something. Bunch of whiners.

Jim: Rafe is there anything you do like? 

Rafe: Yeah, I love Monday night football. Don't you? 

Jim: Yeah, but I like other things too. 

Blair: Rafe, have you ever seen Aly Mcbeal? 

Rafe: No, why should I? I watch football. 

Simon: Well what do you watch when the season ends? 

Rafe: HBO 

Simon: Give Aly a try, you might like it. 

Brown: There are some hot women on it, Bri. 

Rafe: Oh like that Aly chic, who looks like she's starving to death? 

Blair: Now on that we will no doubt agree. God, she looks bad. Sickly thin. I hate that in a woman. 

Jim: Chief, why would you like anything in a woman, now? 

Blair: Jim, I'm not dead. 

Jim: So you're still looking. 

Blair: Looking is one thing. Wanting is another. I only want one person and I have him. 

Jim: God, you kiss ass with the best of them, Sandburg. 

Simon: Connor, please tell me we're done. 

Connor: almost sir. 

 

 

Connor: I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask directions. 

 

Joel: Well, I for one would pull over and ask for directions if I was really lost. Wouldn't any of you? 

Jim: Nope, I'd sooner die. 

Blair: You are so full of shit. He pulls over and has me jump out and get the directions. Mr. Macho doesn't like to be lost either. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: You shut up, Ellison.

Simon: Well, it wouldn't bother me to ask for help. 

Rafe: God, don't you guys know how to read maps? 

Brown: Well, if we knew how to read a map and were still lost, we'd be doing it wrong. Don't you think? 

Rafe: God, I'm surrounded by losers. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Rafe: Not even on your best day. 

Jim: Why would he bother? 

Blair: Good one, Jim. 

Simon: Are we about done here, Connor? 

Connor: Well, there is one small part left. It's about women. I'm going to answer the questions and you're going to tell me if you agree with me or not. What do you think?

Simon: Fine, but could we hurry it up? I'm bored. I want to go home. 

Blair: Hey, you're the one that said we should stand behind her trying to better her education. 

Connor: Thank you, Sandy. 

Blair: You're welcome, Connor. 

Connor: Jim, would you read these questions for me? And then you guys can tell me if I'm right or not.

Jim: Sure. Hand it here. 

 

THE LAST THING ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY: 

Jim: Could our relationship be more Physical? I'm tired of just being friends. 

 

Connor: I could and do say this all the time. I like sex. 

Joel: Connor did you ask me a few nights ago for my phone number. 

Connor: Cute Joel. 

Simon: This isn't true. Connor, if we said that to you, you'd be pissed off. 

Connor: The question was to me. Would I say it? I would. 

Rafe: I for one find it refreshing that you feel this way. Want to go for coffee after this? 

Connor: Not if my life depended on it. 

Brown: I think it's great that you're that open that you could say or think this. 

 

Jim: Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way. (choke...choke...choke...) 

Connor: Settle down Ellison, it's just a survey. I would never say this. 

Blair: I'd like to say something but won't. 

Jim: Good. 

Rafe: Why do women do that anyhow? 

Blair: Because I knew that Rafe would ask it. 

Connor: Why are you asking me. They're dangerous. I only do healthy things. That's not. 

Brown: I'm not saying a word. 

Joel: I'm not either. 

Simon: God, it can't get much worse than this, right? 

 

Jim: (giggling) I think hairy butts are really sexy. 

 

Connor: (giggling) Yeah, I might say it. Depends on the butt in question. 

Joel: Okay, that's all there is to it, I'm asking you out when I get home. 

Connor: Very funny, Joel. 

Blair: Somehow I could see you saying this. 

Connor: And this is meant as a compliment, right? 

Blair: Of course it was. 

Simon: I think it's a weird question. I thought it was on the men's one, I think it's even weirder on the women's. 

Brown: I like seeing a woman who takes what she wants. Says what she wants and does what she wants. 

Rafe: You like sluts. 

Connor: You calling me a slut? 

Rafe: Oh no, I didn't mean you. I meant, what Henry was describing. 

Blair: Well, that sounds like a lot of people and they aren't sluts. Oh wait a minute. Yes, he is. Sorry. Can't stick up for either of you. 

Jim: Very funny, Chief. 

Simon: Next.

 

Jim: Hey, get a whiff of that one. 

 

Connor: Nope, I would never say this. 

Blair: Oh come on, Connor. Where is your sense of adventure? 

Brown: Yeah, come on, Connor. 

Connor: Fine, I'll say it the next time I go on a date and see what happens. 

Joel: I wouldn't advise that, Connor. 

Connor: I was joking, Joel. 

Joel: Good. 

Simon: I'm not even sure what it means, but I want to just move on. 

Rafe: Wait, I didn't answer. 

Simon: And we care, because? 

 

 

Jim: Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute. 

 

Connor: (giggling) No, I can't see myself saying that. 

Jim: Me either. 

Blair: Jim, you're supposed to be asking not answering.

Jim: I can do both. 

Rafe: I think this one is stupid. 

Connor: This question? Or this whole survey? 

Rafe: This whole part since Ellison has been reading the questions. They're wuss questions. You should just have he and Sandburg answer them.

Simon: Rafe, I don't know how to tell you this ,but you on the verge of pissing me off. 

Rafe: Why? 

Simon: Why? Why? God, he's stupid on top of everything else.   
Rafe: It's not like I don't like Ellison and Sandburg. I do. I just think it sucks that they sleep together. 

Blair: Funny you should mention sucking. 

Rafe: See what I mean, Simon? This is what I mean. 

Simon: What? They do. It's part of life, Rafe. Get over it. 

Rafe: What if I can't. 

Jim: Maybe we won't be friends anymore. 

Rafe: I'll try. 

 

Jim: This diamond is way too big. 

 

Connor: I can tell you right now, that I'm not into big diamonds. I'm not a size queen. 

Joel: Geeze, she's sounding better and better isn't she, Simon? 

Simon: Better for what? 

Joel: For a date, want to go out, Connor? 

Rafe: Jesus, don't tell me you have a thing about not being big enough, Joel. 

Joel: what are you talking about? I'm talking about the diamond ring. 

Rafe: Oh. Sorry Joel. 

Simon: I really didn't think this stupid thing could get any more off course, but you just showed me how wrong I was. 

Brown: Simon, I agree with you. I'm totally confused. 

Connor: Jim could we please move on? 

 

Jim: (giggling) I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow. 

 

Connor: Oy. I don't think you're going to hear that from me. What do you think, Jim? 

Jim: Hey don't pull me into this one. 

Blair: I'd say it. 

Jim: Blair, you do say it. 

Blair: Oh yeah. I do. Hee hee. 

Rafe: Okay, now tell me Simon that this didn't bother you. 

Simon: Well, I don't want to hear about anyone's sex life. Not just theirs. 

Joel: It doesn't bother me in the least. 

Brown: Me either. It used to, but I got used to it. Rafe, you act like you have a stick stuck up your ass sometimes. You're so rigid. 

Rafe: I swear to god, Henry, you're starting to sound like them. 

Simon: Jim could we move on now? 

 

Jim: (On the floor howling) Wow, it really is 14 inches! 

 

Connor: No, I've never said this. 

Rafe: What you think you'll never come in contact with someone that large? 

Connor: Honestly? No. I wouldn't want to. They'd have to take a trip to farm. 

Jim: (Snort...snort...) Jesus Connor, warn a person before they take a drink. 

Blair: Hey Jim says this all the time. 

Jim: Yeah, but I'm talking about your height, hot shot.

Blair: Oh man that was so funny, I forgot to laugh. 

Simon: Do you suppose there really are a lot of guys out there with 14 inch dicks? I mean, that is just disgusting.

Jim: Yeah, I think so too. If there really was someone like this, we should at least be the ones. Right, guys? 

Joel: Well, it's not like we measure each other, right? 

Jim: Shit, Joel are you saying you have 14 inches? 

Joel: No, I never said that. 

Connor: Guys, this is my part. You're supposed to just see if I answer right. I don't think you all care about who has a 14 inch dick, do you? 

Blair: We might. Depends on who it belongs to. 

Rafe: What do you think we should do, measure each other in the locker room tomorrow? 

Connor: Guys, I think that we should move on. 

Simon: Rafe, you think you'll have something we haven't seen? I've seen you in the locker room. You're no bigger or smaller than the rest of us. 

Blair: Rafe, do you think if your dick was larger, you'd be a bigger man? OH shit, I guess you would be. (rolling on the floor laughing at his own joke.) 

Rafe: Okay, I'm sorry. I got carried away. Shit, I hate these surveys. 

 

Jim: (Rolling eyes back into his head) I'm wrong, you must be right again. 

 

Connor: Nope can't hear myself saying this ever. 

Simon: Good we agree on this one, Connor. 

Rafe: I do too. 

Blair: Connor, you would admit if you were wrong.

Connor: Maybe to you, Sandy. But not many others. 

Jim: I believe you'd rather die than say it. 

Connor: You're asking the questions, who wants your opinion? 

Blair: I might. I like his opinion. 

Joel: Admitting your wrong is hard. I know. 

Brown: I would admit if I was wrong. 

Rafe: Oh god, you've been hanging with Ellison way too much. He admits he's wrong all the time. 

Jim: Only if I was really wrong. What's wrong with that? 

Rafe: Nothing Jim. You just keep believing you're a real man. 

Blair: Shut the fuck up, Rafe. I'm going to show you real man, while I kick your ass. 

Rafe: Jim, is he always this fucking cute? 

Simon: All right, sit back down, right now, Jim. Let's move on. 

 

Jim: (snickering) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 

 

Connor: Yeah, actually I have said this when I wanted to watch a special show or game on the telly. 

Blair: I've said this many times. 

Rafe: I bet.

Jim: Stop it now, Rafe. 

Simon: Hell I don't even want to discuss these anymore.

Joel: I've said and done this many times.

Connor: Excuse me guys, this is about me. Not you. 

Rafe: Oh yeah, miss Priss wants this to be about her. 

Connor: Rafe, I'm going to kick your fucking ass. I'll show you Miss Priss. 

Jim: Connor, at least he's not calling you wuss puss. 

Connor: Jim, Miss Priss is the same thing. 

Jim: Really? Then I just might help you kick his ass. 

Simon: No one is kicking anyone's ass. Stop now. 

Brown: I'm getting a stomach ache from you all arguing. 

Connor: We'll try and do better, Brown. Poor guy. (Hugs Brown and smiles at him.) 

 

Jim: Well we're done for tonight. Wasn't that just too much fun? 

Connor: Jim, you did a really good job. I might have you help me again on the next one. 

Jim: Okay. Night everyone. 

Brown: See you all in the morning. 

Rafe: Brown, you wanna go eat something? 

Brown: No, I need to go home. 

Rafe: Are you okay? 

Brown: I'm not comfortable with you all fighting all the time. 

Blair: Night everyone. Brown, try not to take it to heart, okay? If you need me, you know what my number is. 

Simon: Go home everyone. 

Connor: Night guys, thanks. 

Joel: Rafe, I'll go to dinner with you and then we can talk about manners. 

Rafe: Nah, I'm not hungry anymore. 

Simon: Geeze, it's like being around fucking kids all night long.


	9. Top Ten Ways to Handle Stress

Sullivan’s Pub Part 9

Connor’s Top Ten Ways To Handle Stress  
Patt

 

   
Connor had everyone from the bullpen meet at Jim and Blair’s loft. She had more surveys for them to answer. She only hoped that they’d do as well as they had before. Her teacher was enjoying the hell out of these guys. // Oh, who are you kidding? You love these guys and they are funnier than all get out. //  
   
Once she arrived, she sat everyone down and said, “Okay, guys, one more time. I just need you to tell me if you’ve ever done any of these things to handle stress, or if you’ve wanted to. Just answer as slow as possible. I have a hard time keeping up with you. You Yankee’s talk way too fucking fast.”  
   
   
   
Connor: Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. 

 

   
Simon: Connor, this is so stupid, it’s even too stupid to think about. I can’t believe some of these things they ask you to ask us. What do they think? You know a bunch of moron’s?

Jim: I totally agree with Simon on this one. 

Joel: Well, I have to say, this is a little bit too weird, even for me. 

Rafe: Henry, why do you have that odd look on your face, man?

Brown: I’ve done it. Someone dared me. It was years ago when I was young and stupid. 

Rafe: Last year, huh?

Brown: Yeah. 

Blair: Hey don’t feel bad, Brown, I do this from time to time to get rid of some of my stress. Not to mention, I like to drive Jim nuts. 

Jim: He does not. Sandburg, tell them you’re kidding. 

Simon: I think they all know he’s kidding, Jim. 

Jim: Do you all know he’s kidding?

Brown: So Hairboy, how many marshmallows did you get into your nose at one time?

Blair: I lost count at 26. So, never got as far as 39. 

Jim: Chief, stop telling them this. You know you don’t stick marshmallows up your nose. 

Conner: Jim, why do you care so much what they all think about Blair and his marshmallows?

Jim: Shut up, Connor. 

Connor: Jim, you can do better then that. 

Jim: Shut the fuck up, Connor. 

Connor: Oh Mr. Wit and Wisdom has come out to play. All right, hot shot, why do you care what we all think about this?

Jim: I just don’t want you thinking he puts marshmallows up his nose. Geeze. 

Blair: Jim, get a grip. They know I’m joking. Brown, stop laughing, you’re going to upset poor Jim. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Joel: Okay, now I’m curious, Blair. Do you, or do you not stick marshmallows up your nose?

Blair: I do when I’m alone and bored out of my mind. 

Jim: Shit, Chief, stop it. 

Blair: But now that I know how much it bothers Jim, I guess I’ll stop. Man, I so hoped to move up to 27 marshmallows. Bummer. 

Jim: Very fucking funny, Chief. 

Joel: Actually I think he is pretty funny. 

Connor: I think you’re all funny. Why would anyone care? This is very interesting, Ellison. I might write a paper on this alone. 

Jim: Shut the fuck up, Connor. 

Connor: Good to see you still have your same old come back. Now on to the next one. 

 

   
   
   
Connor: Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa. 

 

   
Joel: I do this all the time. God, does anyone ever have enough money?

Simon: I do. I’ve never done this. It seems foolish and redundant. 

Jim: I couldn’t agree with you more, Simon. 

Simon: Jim I don’t want you agreeing with me, you’re anal. The next thing they’ll tell me is that I’m gay. 

Jim: Excuse me?

Blair: I do this all the time Joel. It drives Jim nuts. 

Jim: You do not. Stop telling them this shit. 

Brown: Doesn’t everyone do this? And Hairboy, you just keep driving that man of yours nuts. 

Rafe: Not me. I’ve never done it. Actually, I don’t use a credit card at all. 

Jim: Well I’m glad to see we agree on something Rafe. 

Rafe: Okay, I’m applying for one tomorrow.

Jim: What’s that mean?

Rafe: Jim, you’re the most anal person we’ve ever met. We don’t know how Blair stands it. 

Blair: Hey, I love when he’s anal. 

Simon: Could we please move on before they start telling us how great it is to be together? 

Jim: Simon, why don’t you think it would be good for us?

Simon: I don’t want to hear about anyone, Jim. Not just you. I don’t want to hear about Joel and his latest conquest or Rafe and his. I want to hear none of it. 

Jim: Well, I think you’re the one that’s anal, sir. 

Simon: Connor could we please move on?

Brown: Wait a minute, why didn’t you mention Connor and me? You don’t mind if we talk about our sex lives?

Simon: I don’t want to hear about anyone’s sex life, Brown. Got it?

Connor: I think we have it now, sir. Geeze. Talk about anal. 

Simon: Shut up, Connor and move on before I have to get physical. 

 

   
Connor: Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 

 

   
Rafe: How do you do that with microwave popcorn? I don’t get this one.

Blair: Rafe, you poor thing. They’re talking about that old fashioned way of popping corn from way back when. If you leave the lid off, the popcorn will go all over the kitchen. 

Connor: So have you ever done this, Sandy?

Blair: You betcha. 

Jim: Oh for Christ’s sake, you have not. 

Blair: I have too. Stop telling me what I have and haven’t done. 

Jim: When have you left the lid off popcorn? When have you fucking popped corn this old fashioned way. 

Blair: I did it at a woman’s house one night, about a year ago. 

Simon: I think we should really move on, Mount Ellison is getting ready to erupt. 

Blair: Jim, did you just hear that? They know our love talk. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Joel: God, that’s funny, Blair. I think you have to have one of the quickest minds I’ve ever come across. 

Jim: Fine, you want to live with him?

Joel: Jim, grow up. 

Jim: Oh go fuck yourself, Joel.

Simon: This is getting out of hand again, Connor. 

Brown: Wait a minute I didn’t get to answer yet. I loved doing this when I was younger. 

Jim: When, last year? 

Brown: Why does everyone make jokes about my age?

Blair: Welcome to the club, Brown. 

Simon: God, I feel so old. Could we please move on?

 

   
   
   
Connor: When someone says, "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans. 

 

   
Jim: Shit I do this all the time. 

Blair: He does. In fact, the other day, someone said it and he said… What?

Jim: Shut up, Blair. 

Brown: Tell me later, Hairboy, I won’t tell him. 

Rafe: Then you can tell me. 

Jim: He’s not telling anyone anything. So, forget it. 

Simon: I say this all the time, too Jim. 

Joel: I can’t believe that you have said this. I’ve said have a nice day back, but that’s about it. 

Connor: Well, I’ve even said this when I’m having a bad day. 

Simon: good, now could we move on? 

 

   
   
   
Connor: Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like. 

 

   
Jim: I wouldn’t hurt a little frog just because I was stressed. Hell no, I have Sandburg to put in the blender and he’d fit. 

Simon: Good one, Ellison. 

Rafe: Why are you picking on Sandburg’s size, Ellison? You got size issues somewhere else?

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Blair: Hey Rafe, thanks, but I can handle things myself. Fuck you, Ellison. 

Joel: It does sound like you have some issues, Jim. Want to talk about them? 

Jim: No I don’t want to talk about them, Joel. God, do I look like the type that would go to therapy? 

Joel: No, you look like the type that neighbors would say, “He seemed like such a nice young man.”

Simon: Good one, Joel. 

Brown: I think we lost track of the question. I would never kill a little animal, would anyone else?

Jim: It would depend on what it was. 

Rafe: Man, you are a cold son-of-a-bitch.

Blair: He’d never hurt anything. He likes to talk big, but he doesn’t have it in him. 

Joel: See, I really think Jim might have some issues. As long as we’re getting together each week helping Megan out, I think we could all help Jim too. 

Jim: No thanks, Joel. 

Blair: Why don’t you want anyone to know that you’re a teddy bear, Jim? 

Jim: I’m going to fucking kill you later. 

Blair: Those are his code words for, “ I get to top.”

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: Those are his code words for “Fuck me now.”

Simon: Connor, please move this on. Please?

 

 

Connor: Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candy gram. 

 

   
Rafe: Hell yes, I buy myself chocolate all the time. It helps. 

Connor: I do too. 

Jim: Me too.

Blair: Jim, how many times have I told you that shit will kill you?

Joel: I love candy too. 

Brown: I think it’s the first time we’ve agreed on something. 

Blair: Hello??? Is anyone listening to me? I said, I keep telling Jim not to eat the shit. 

Jim: But you never actually said you don’t like chocolate. 

Simon: Well I like chocolate, does this make you feel better, Ellison? 

Jim: Not really sir. 

Simon: Connor, please move on while there is a lull in the action. 

 

   
   
   
Connor: Make a list of things to do that you've already done. 

 

   
Jim: Connor, this one makes no sense what so ever. 

Blair: That’s the whole point, Jim. We’re supposed to do something wild and crazy to relieve the stress. I think you need to do something wild and crazy. Oh I have it, you can do me later on. 

Simon: Okay, we could have gone all night without hearing that.

Jim: Why? Does it bother you that we’re of the same sex?

Simon: Hell it bothers me that someone is having sex and it’s not me. I don’t care what sex you are. 

Brown: Well it does bother me, I can tell you that. You’re my friends after all. I’m fine with knowing about you both but I don’t want to think about Jim doing things to Blair. Geeze, that makes me sick. 

Connor: So if Jim were dating me, it would be different? Then you would want to hear all about it?

Brown: Damn straight. But see that’s the problem. I’m straight, Jim’s not. Sorry Jim. 

Jim: Well, I’m not, Henry. 

Blair: It bothers me that it bothers you, H. 

Simon: Does anyone care that everyone and everything is bothering me?

Joel: I think that they are a cute couple and it doesn’t gross me out at all. 

Rafe: Geeze, Joel, the next thing you’ll tell us is you’re thinking about dating a guy. 

Joel: Actually, you look mighty fine tonight, Brian. 

Rafe: Fuck you, Joel, that’s not funny. 

Simon: Connor, please? 

Connor: Wait a minute. You didn’t tell me if you ever made a list of things to do, that you’d already done. 

Simon: No, I’ve never done that. 

Rafe: Nope, me either. 

Jim: I make lists so much that I don’t remember if I’ve done it or not. 

Blair: He’s anal and forgetful all at once. 

Joel: No, I’ve never tried this. 

Brown: Nope, me either.

 

   
   
   
   
Connor: Dance naked in front of your pets. 

 

   
Jim: We have no pets. 

Blair: No, but he dances naked in front of me when he’s stressed all the time.   
Hey, that hurt, Jim. 

Joel: Blair, you are much too funny tonight. 

Simon: I think we’re going to start banning Sandburg from these sessions. 

Jim: The fuck you will. 

Simon: You just punched him in the arm, why do you care?

Jim: He has as much right to be here as we do, Simon. 

Simon: Jim make up your mind if you want him here or not. 

Connor: The question is, have you ever danced naked in front of your pets to relieve stress, gentlemen?

Rafe: I don’t have any pets. 

Brown: Hell I walk around in front of my dog, I’m sure I’ve danced in front of him once or twice. What? 

Joel: Well, I don’t have any pets, but I wouldn’t mind doing it. 

Blair: Way to go Joel. 

Simon: Connor could we move on? 

 

   
Connor: Put your clothes on backwards and go to work as if nothing was wrong. 

 

   
Blair: I’d never get outside the door. Hell, I’d never get past the kitchen. Jim would have me stripped in two seconds flat and turn everything the way it should be. 

Jim: Damn right. 

Simon: I’m sure that once in awhile I’ve forgotten something and come to work without tucking my shirt in or something. 

Connor: That wasn’t the question, Simon. 

Simon: Fine, I’ve never done it. I think it’s safe to bet; I won’t ever do it either. 

Joel: I’ve never done it either. 

Rafe: I would die first. 

Blair: Geeze, and you call us anal?

Rafe: I like to look neat and tidy, that’s not gay. 

Jim: Well good cuz Blair isn’t neat at all. Moreover, I’m here to tell you, he’s one of the finest gay men I’ve ever known.

Blair: Thanks, Jim. 

Jim: Your welcome, Chief. 

Simon: God, someone get me a bucket. 

Joel: I thought it was sweet. Could I ask something Jim? How many gay men have you known? 

Jim: No you can’t ask. 

Blair: Why not? 

Jim: Chief, he’s asking how many men I’ve slept with. It’s none of their business. 

Blair: One. 

Jim: You little fuck. I’m going to kick your ass. 

Blair: Who you calling a little fuck. That’s not what you said last night. 

Simon: Stop. Stop right now. Don’t even start. 

Connor: God, I love these damn surveys. I learn so much about all of you; it isn’t even funny. 

Simon: Are we almost done, Connor?

Connor: One more, sir. 

 

  
Connor: Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman Numerals.

   
Jim: Like anyone would want the wrath of IRS on them on purpose. 

Blair: I have to agree with Jim on this one. 

Simon: I wouldn’t do it either. 

Rafe: God that would be like a fucking nightmare. 

Brown: You’re all chicken shits. 

Joel: Brown, are you saying you would do it? 

Brown: No, I was joking. 

Connor: Wow, guys, we all agree on one thing. We’re afraid to be screwed by the IRS. 

Simon: Can we leave now?

Jim: What about poker?

Blair: Yeah, I made food.

Joel: I’m staying. 

Brown: I’ll stay, but no more talk about fucking, all right?

Jim: Let me go and fuck him really fast so I won’t be so tempted to talk about it all night long. 

Brown: Very funny, Ellison. 

Rafe: I’ll stay. I don’t care what you say as long as there is food. 

Joel: I think they’re a cute couple. Connor does too. 

Connor: Hey, don’t tell them I said that. It’ll go to their heads. 

Blair: Oh man, Jim. We don’t want anything going to our heads. 

Simon: Fine, I’m going to stay, but stop this talk now. Let’s eat and play cards. 

Connor: Thanks guys. I’ll try not to keep you so busy with these darn things for the next few weeks.   
 


	10. Why It's Great To Be A Girl

Sullivan’s Pub Part 10  
Connor’s List  
Why It’s Great To Be A Girl  
Patt

 

Connor was very excited about tonight’s survey. She had a feeling that the guys would be crazed by the end of it. 

 

   
   
Connor: We got off the Titanic first.

 

   
Jim: Yeah, what’s up with equal rights? Where were the men’s equal rights? 

Simon: I couldn’t agree with you more, Ellison. 

Blair: Well, now wait a minute guy’s. Back then they always let the women and children go first. Now a days, it would be a different story. I think they’d have everyone go down together. Hee Hee. 

Simon: Very funny, Sandburg.

Rafe: Well, I think that Sandburg is right, Simon. 

Brown: Man, why are you always kissing his ass?

Rafe: Kissing whose ass? // Jesus, Ellison is going to kick my ass. //

Brown: I was kidding, Rafe. Don’t panic. 

Jim: Let’s stick with the comments about what Connor is saying.

Joel: I think that women and children should go first. 

Connor: We’re getting way off base. So, how do you all feel about who would go first in an emergency?

Jim: Well I think that we should make you go last, Connor. 

Blair: Jim, that wasn’t nice. She could go the same time as us.

Simon: I think it shouldn’t matter unless you’re in a wheelchair, or pulling oxygen.

Rafe: Hell if you are pulling around oxygen, you might not want to make it anyhow, I’d choose to stay. 

Brown: Only you would think that, Brian. 

Connor: So, do you feel as if women would be given the first choice at leaving or not?

Simon: Yup.

Jim: You betcha. Or we’d never hear the end of it.

Rafe: I want to sleep with someone again, so yes. 

Brown: How did that come around to sleeping with someone?

Rafe: Well, if I made Connor wait until last, she’d tell someone else and word would get around. Next thing I’d know, I’d be celibate. 

Blair: You know I think everyone should draw straws, but I would want my Mom to go before me.

Brown: Yeah, women would go first. It’s a rule. My Mom’s a woman. I’d want her to go first.

Connor: So you wouldn’t want to let me go first, huh? 

Joel: I would let you go first, Connor. 

Connor: Thanks, Joel. You’re always such a gentleman. 

Jim: Is she Blair or Henry’s Mom? Then I don’t think so. And Connor, Joel is sucking up.

Simon: Connor, that’s enough of this one. I’m bored. Give us the next one. 

 

   
Connor: We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

   
Simon: Are you saying that these excuses aren’t always true?

Jim: Simon, please tell me you don’t believe them all.

Blair: Why should you question anything? I mean, why would they lie about that?

Jim: He’s so naïve. 

Brown: I don’t even want to discuss this one.

Joel: Me either. 

Rafe: Connor, you telling us that you lie about this stuff?

Connor: No, I never lie about this stuff. If I say I’m PMSing, I am. 

 

   
   
Connor: Taxis stop for us.

 

   
Blair: Hey, I’ve had taxi’s stop for me. 

Jim: That’s because with all of that hair, they think you’re a woman.

Brown: So you’re saying that if you’re a woman, the damn cab drivers stop?   
Fuck… That’s bullshit.

Rafe: Where have you been, Henry?

Brown: Standing in the rain, waiting for fucking cabs, I guess.

Joel: I’ve waited and watched cabs pick up women first. 

Simon: Well I hate to burst your bubble, but I was waiting for a cab yesterday, and I got picked up right off. 

Jim: Was it that Rodriguez guy? The one that works around the station all the time?

Simon: Yeah, how did you know that?

Blair: Because he likes you, Simon.

Simon: What do you mean; he likes me? I mean, the guy is nice, he’s always nice to everyone. 

Jim: Okay, so Sandburg isn’t the only naïve one. 

Simon: What? 

Connor: Simon, he has a thing for you.

Simon: A thing? What kind of thing?

Jim: Simon, are you trying to be this dense on purpose?

Simon: Do I need to remind you of who makes out the schedule, Ellison? Now, what kind of thing?

Connor: He has a crush on you, sir.

Brown: Holy fucking shit… Hey Jim, did you and Blair tell him he had a chance with our captain?

Jim: Fuck you, Brown.

Rafe: You only wish.

Simon: Are we done yet?

Connor: No, this is only the third one, Simon.

Simon: Shit…

 

   
   
Connor: We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

 

   
Brown: I look damn fine dancing. I have smooth moves. 

Rafe: So do I? What, Ellison, why are you laughing at me?

Jim: You are so uptight while dancing you give a whole new meaning to rigid. 

Blair: Jim and I dance all the time, and we don’t look like frog’s in a blender. 

Simon: I am a smooth dancer too. 

Joel: Well, I’m taking lessons, so I’ll feel more comfortable when on dates. 

Connor: Wow, no arguing on this one. We all agree that you guys look like frogs?

Jim: No, we never said that.

Blair: Not even on a bad day, Connor. 

Rafe: Even I don’t look like a frog in a blender. 

Simon: Connor, keep laughing and we won’t answer any more of these stupid survey’s you have for your classes. 

Connor: Fine, Simon. I’ll move on to the next one. 

 

   
   
Connor: No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

 

   
Joel: I wouldn’t have worn one of those, even if I looked good in it. Geeze talk about advertising. 

Simon: Hell, I think that there are many women’s items that are as bad if not worse.

Jim: I agree with Joel, it shows too much.

Blair: Hey speak for yourself, hot stuff. I happen to love when you wear yours.

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Connor: Oh god, this is too funny. Jim, please tell me you don’t own a speedo.

Jim: I don’t own a speedo.

Connor: Blair does he?

Blair: I refuse to answer; I plead the fifth. 

Simon: Jim, I for one think that if you want to wear one in the privacy of your home, then that’s your business. 

Jim: Simon, I can hear you laughing. Did you forget who has the best ears? I don’t own one.

Blair: I was kidding, he doesn’t own one, but he makes me wear one every Friday.

Joel: Man, you guys are teasing the straight guys, aren’t you?

Connor: Damn, I was hoping for something good. 

Simon: Let’s move on, Connor. 

 

   
   
Connor: We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

   
Jim: Okay, this is so unfair. I’ve never done this to amuse myself. It might amuse someone else, but it never amuses me.

Blair: It doesn’t amuse me either, Jim. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg.

Blair: Promises, promises. 

Joel: I agree with Jim on this one. I don’t find it funny, but it is a bodily function. Sometimes you just can’t help it. 

Simon: I agree with them. I too find it non-amusing and normal at the same time. 

Brown: Well, I’ve been in a room when someone does and we all laugh. Why is that? 

Rafe: I think you’re all nuts. I’d sooner die. 

Jim: And you guys think we’re the fags?

Blair: Hey, who you calling a fag?

Brown: Oh man, now I’m thinking of a whole new way of the passing gas stuff. Geeze, thanks a lot Jim and Rafe. 

Rafe: Don’t blame me. I didn’t do anything. 

Jim: I don’t get it.

Blair: I’ll explain to you later, hot stuff.

Connor: This is amusing to listen to, but time to move on. 

Simon: Thank god, I was afraid someone would explain it to Ellison. 

 

   
   
Connor: If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

 

   
Joel: That must be so nice. 

Jim: Yeah, must be. 

Blair: Hell sometimes I have to shave twice a day. 

Rafe: Why would you shave twice a day? 

Blair: Because I give Jim beard burn when we’re together. If you know what I mean.

Jim: Sandburg, shut the fuck up. 

Blair: What?

Simon: We could have went all night long without knowing that.

Joel: Where do you give him beard burn?

Rafe: I don’t want to know. 

Brown: I do. 

Jim: Well, he’s not fucking telling anyone anything more about beard burn.

Connor: I just have to say that women have to shave too. I don’t care what you men say. If you slept with me and I had hairy armpits, what would you think? 

Brown: That I turned gay and was sleeping with Sandburg.

Jim: Fuck you, Brown.

Brown: You keep saying that. 

Connor: Seriously, what would you think of that?

Joel: I’ve been with women that don’t shave and it doesn’t bother me.

Blair: No shit, Joel?

Jim: Why do you care about him sleeping with women?

Blair: Oh don’t go all cave man on me.

Jim: I’ll show you fucking cave man. 

Connor: Do you mind? We’re getting way off topic here. 

Simon: And this would be new?

 

   
   
Connor: We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.

 

   
Simon: Wait a minute, that’s what Jim and Blair like. Not us.

Jim: Fuck you, Simon.

Simon: Not even on your best day. bucko.

Blair: When did this turn into the lets make fun of the gay guys? 

Brown: It has nothing to do with being gay, I slap Rafe all the time when we’re watching a game. 

Rafe: But I think we’re going to stop now.

Jim: Do you see the football players minding?

Connor: Mind if you’re gay? I would think they have better things to think about Jim.

Jim: Fuck you, Connor. 

Blair: Hey, hey, hey. What you talking about Ellison?

Simon: Lets get this back on track. I don’t mind that the teams slap each other on the ass. But I do have to say it makes me a little uncomfortable when Jim and Blair do it. 

Joel: Why is that, Simon? 

Simon: Because they’re gay. They like that slapping the ass stuff. 

Blair: Excuse me, Simon, but, fuck you very much. 

Jim: Couldn’t have said it better, Sandburg.

Connor: Why does this always come back to Blair and Jim being gay? Do you all have a problem with gays? Maybe we need to open up a little more. 

Joel: No, I have no problems with Jim and Blair being together. And I certainly don’t think you have to be gay to slap another person on the ass. 

Simon: Sorry guys. 

Blair: You’re forgiven Simon. 

Jim: Not from me, he’s not. 

Brown: Well, actually there are some things that bother me. Like when you touch us, do you feel an attraction to us?

Jim: Brown, you must be joking, right? God, you guys are fucking killing me here. Sandburg, stop laughing over there. 

Rafe: I think they don’t have feelings for us, Brown. 

Connor: I think I might make a new survey about how we all feel about having gays working with us. 

Jim: No thanks. 

Blair: That would be cool, Connor do it. 

Jim: Thanks, Sandburg. 

 

   
   
Connor: We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

 

   
Brown: Oh man, this is ‘so’ not true. Where do they come up with this shit?

Joel: Well, ours is on the outside, it does need to be situated sometimes. 

Simon: I agree with Joel. 

Jim: I agree with Joel and Simon. 

Blair: I think you all just like to touch it now and then. 

Simon: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Rafe: I don’t agree at all. I think Brown is right, where do they come up with this?

Connor: Okay, as the only woman here, I need to tell you, you all touch yourselves. If you want to know how often or why I’ll tell you when we’re done with this survey.

Simon: If you don’t shut up soon, you won’t have anyone answering these stupid questions. 

Connor: Fine, but I’m here if anyone really wants the truth. 

Blair: Connor, I do it too?

Connor: Oh yeah, you do it a lot. 

Blair: Fuck…

Connor: Jim likes when you do it. 

Jim: Connor shut the fuck up. 

Connor: Well you do. 

Simon: On to the next one or this is over with. 

 

   
   
Connor: We have the ability to dress ourselves.  
   
   
Rafe: Man, this is so not true. I dress very well, thank you. 

Joel: That’s true, Rafe does dress nice. 

Simon: Rafe does look better than most of us. 

Brown: Hey partner, do you have to ask for anyone’s opinion when you’re dressing? 

Rafe: Never. I do it alone. 

Jim: I’ve heard that rumor.

Rafe: Oh fuck you Ellison. 

Jim: You wish. 

Rafe: You’re just jealous about how great I dress.

Blair: Hey I dress myself and I think I look good. 

Simon: Blair, you’re one of the worst dressed gay men I’ve ever met. 

Blair: You’re kidding, right?

Simon: Nope. 

Jim: I think he looks good. 

Simon: You have to say that, Ellison. 

Connor: Well, actually all of you men can and have looked nice from time to time. So, it’s not always true. 

Blair: Thanks Connor. 

Connor: Well, today isn’t one of those days. 

Jim: Good one, Connor. 

Connor: Jim, I was talking about all of you. Except for Rafe. 

Rafe: Thanks, Connor. 

Simon: Could we move on?

 

   
   
   
Connor: We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

 

   
Brown: Why the hell would I have to picture them naked? I would have to walk around aroused all night long. 

Joel: I agree with Henry. 

Blair: I talk to everyone. 

Jim: He does.

Simon: I don’t ever picture anyone naked, makes it hard to work with people after that. 

Rafe: I’ve done it a couple of times, when I met someone really gorgeous. 

Connor: I think you’re missing the whole point. Henry, if someone not that good looking walked up to you and began talking to you, would you feel comfortable talking to her?

Brown: Why are you singling me out here? Of course I would talk to her.

Connor: Would you ask her out?

Brown: Hey, that’s not the question. 

Connor: You wouldn’t would you? Guys are so into the look. 

Simon: Let me ask you Connor. How would you feel if this geeky looking guy came up and started talking to you? 

Connor: I would be fine, because I’ve dated a few geeks in my time and they’re hot. 

Jim: Well, someone told me once that Blair looked like a geek and I have to say, he’s hot. 

Simon: That is way too much information for us.

Blair: You think I’m hot?

Jim: Well duh. 

Simon: Please move on to the next question. 

 

   
   
   
Connor: If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

   
Joel: Now wait a minute, I don’t think that’s fair. What if I met someone nice that was 20 years younger? You think I shouldn’t give it a whirl because of how it looks? 

Connor: Joel, it’s just a question. And no, I think that if you love someone, age should not matter. 

Simon: I feel as if it’s hard enough keeping up with someone my own age, I sure don’t want to be 20 years older than her. 

Rafe: Isn’t Ellison 20 years older than Sandburg?

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Rafe: Got you. I knew if I waited long enough, I’d find a good one to insult you with. 

Brown: You are quite a bit older than Sandburg.

Jim: I’m 9 years older. Only nine. 

Blair: Jim, actually it’s only about 8 ½ years. 

Jim: See? Not that bad at all. 

Joel: I think you’re perfect for each other. 

Simon: Why are you sucking up to them today?

Jim: Simon, he’s not sucking up.

Connor: Okay, guys. We’re getting way off base again. Who really cares if Joel sucks up or not?

Joel: Well I do, missy. 

Connor: Missy?

Joel: Well, you’re pissing me off. 

Rafe: Oh oh, Joel is pissed off. 

Brown: Man, this might get scary. 

Joel: Laugh it up, men, and you’ll see what happens when I spread vicious rumors about you two. 

Rafe: What kind of rumors?

Joel: You’ll never hear it from me. 

Simon: Okay, time to move on Connor. Quickly. 

 

   
   
Connor: There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

   
Rafe: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. 

Brown: I couldn’t agree more. Like chocolate could make anything better. 

Jim: I beg to differ. I think that chocolate makes everything seem more bearable. 

Brown: Everyone raise their hand that is shocked that the gay guy said this. 

Jim: Damn it, it has nothing to do with being gay. 

Rafe: I’m sure it doesn’t. 

Joel: I agree with Jim and I’m not gay. 

Brown: No, maybe not, but you’re sucking up big time today. 

Joel: Okay, that does it. Those rumors will begin tonight. 

Blair: I think chocolate helps certain people. I know it helps Connor and Jim. 

Simon: Jim, don’t you love being thrown in with Connor?

Jim: Sir, with all due respect, go fuck yourself.

Connor: He probably will. 

Simon: Connor that was uncalled for. 

Connor: Like it’s called for to make fun of the gay guys. 

Blair: I don’t care if they make fun. It’s all done in jest, right guys?

Rafe: Yeah, jest. 

Brown: Yeah, fun. 

Simon: Yeah, gay. 

Jim: Again, Simon, go fuck yourself. 

Simon: I wish I could, Jim. I wish I could. I could eliminate the middle person. 

Blair: OH god, that is too funny, Simon. 

Connor: I swear you guys are just filthy minded goons. I don’t know why I keep asking you to do these survey’s. The classes I take roar at your answers as it is. 

Jim: You do change the names, right? 

Blair: Yeah, Connor you do, right? 

Connor: Ummmm… I’ll start tonight. 

Simon: Connor tell me you’re joking. 

Connor: I’m joking, sir. 

Simon: Please tell me honestly. 

Connor: Honestly, sir. 

Simon: Thank god. 

Connor: Thanks guys. I’ll let you know when the next one is due. I’ve learned a great deal from these things. 

Blair: You’re welcome, Connor. 

Connor: Sandy, you’re always so kind. 

Rafe: Jesus now she’s kissing up. 

Connor: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Rafe: Bring it on.

Simon: Does no one have any work to do around here? Yes? Well then get to it.


	11. WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Sullivan’s Pub Part 11  
Connor's Quiz 6   
Patt 

 

For Kylia. Thanks for the push. {g} 

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN 

 

Connor: Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. 

Joel: Now this is just not true. I show affection in public. 

Simon: Yeah, I do too. 

Jim: Me too. 

Blair: Jim you could show a little more, if you know what I mean. 

Jim: You don't think I'm affectionate? 

Blair: Yeah, but we all have room for growth. 

Brown: I think men show affection just fine. And Blair I think Jim is affectionate in public. Especially since this is all new to him. 

Blair: And it's not to me? 

Jim: I'll work on it Chief. Okay? 

Rafe: First, the reason bedrooms were made is so we wouldn't have to show affection in public. DUH 

Blair: Rafe, you're giving all of us men that dog reputation. 

Rafe: Somehow you'll have to live with it. 

Simon: Wow, Connor, this one is just breezing right by isn't it? Are we done yet? 

Connor: Simon, you know damn well this is the first one. 

Simon: Maybe this whole school thing was a bad idea. 

Jim: You seem tired, Connor. Are you all right? 

Connor: Jim that's so damn nice. Thanks, I'm doing fine. 

Blair: You know where I am if you need to talk, C. 

Connor: Thanks, Sandy. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs miss you when you're gone. 

 

Joel: Hey if I were dating someone, I would miss her when she was gone. 

Blair: I happen to know that Jim misses me when I'm gone. 

Jim: I do. 

Blair: I miss you too, big man. 

Rafe: You guys are kind of cute. 

Brown: Yeah, I agree with Rafe on that one. 

Conner: The question is, would you miss someone, or would a dog miss them more? 

Rafe: Yeah, the person I'm dating is missed when she's gone. 

 

Connor: You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you. 

 

Blair: Wow, does this one scream out Ellison or what? 

Jim: What do you mean? 

Joel: Well, Jim, you're just a tad insecure. 

Simon: A tad? A tad? What the hell does tad mean anyhow? 

Blair: Well since you asked so nicely I can give you some examples. A small piece, a bit, a fragment, a smidgen, a trace and a speck. Will any of those do for you? 

Simon: Sandburg, I know what it means, I was just being sardonic. 

Blair: Hey, I was just being helpful. 

Jim: Now can we get back to what you all started discussing? Why would I not think I was good enough to be with Blair? 

Blair: Well do you? 

Jim: Most of the time. 

Blair: See what I have to put up with y'all. 

Jim: Hey, I'm working on it, Chief. I'm trying. I'm taking baby steps. 

Blair: Oh shut up, Bob. 

Rafe: Okay, now Sandburg even lost me. Bob??? 

Connor: Could we get back to the question, guys? We'll be here all night long at this rate. 

Brown: Hey I think you are all taking this the wrong way. I hear do you think that your date is good enough for you. Connor what do you think? 

Connor: Yes, Brown, you deserve a gold star. I didn't want to point it out to them, but they didn't get it. 

Jim: See, Sandburg, you picked on me for nothing. 

Blair: Okay, I don't think that I would ever sit and do that. 

Jim: God, I hope not. 

Rafe: Jim, he's joking. 

Simon: I have to say I'm fucking confused now. 

Joel: So am I. I think we should move on to the next one before we are stuck here for life. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. 

 

Simon: Okay, this one is totally off base. I feel just as guilty as a woman does. 

Connor: Do you? How do you know? 

Simon: I just do. 

Joel: I agree with Simon. I feel bad when I've done something wrong, so I'm just like a dog. 

Jim: Joel, I would never say that about you. 

Joel: Thanks Jim. 

Blair: Guilt isn't that good of a thing. Why do we have to suffer through this and be proud of it? What are you all Jewish? 

Connor: I'll have you know Sandy; you don't have to be any type to have that guilt complex inside of you. My Mother was a pro at it and she wasn't Jewish. 

Brown: My mom was too. I love her to death, but to this day, I suffer guilt for small things. 

Rafe: Your Mom would be smiling right now if she heard that, Henry. 

Brown: Don't I know it? 

Jim: I feel guilty. 

Blair: When? 

Jim: What do you mean when? I feel guilty all the time. 

Blair: Again, I ask, when? 

Simon: Okay, I see something brewing here. Lets move this along, Connor. Now. 

Blair: You don't suffer guilt unless someone tells you to, Jim. 

Jim: That is bullshit, Chief. I feel just as bad as the next person for dumb things I do. So, don't tell me I don't suffer guilt. 

Simon: Connor, see we're ready to move on. Go. 

 

Connor: Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with. 

 

Simon: I never do this. 

Rafe: Well, Henry and I have been known to discuss things.   
We aren't bragging exactly, we're just really proud of ourselves sometimes. 

Brown: Yeah, what he said. 

Joel: I don't brag. 

Jim: I don't brag. 

Blair: You've never bragged about anyone you've ever slept with Jim? 

Jim: No. 

Blair: Wow. 

Jim: Well I take it you have? 

Blair: A few times. 

Rafe: Way to go, Hairboy. 

Simon: Sit back down, Ellison and keep your hands to yourself. Joel, do you ever feel like you're a kindergarten teacher? 

Joel: All the time, Simon. All the time. 

Jim: Blair, I never used to hear you brag about anyone when we were just roommates. 

Blair: That's because I didn't tell you. 

Jim: Why not? 

Blair: Because you're a fud and have such a sense of fair play. You'd probably call the person to see if they wanted to put in their two cents. 

Rafe: So tell us, Hairboy, do you still brag? 

Brown: Oh good one, Brian. 

Blair: Hey, I think we've spent enough time on this one. 

Simon: I couldn't agree with you more. 

Jim: Wait a fucking minute. You tell people about us???? 

Blair: I never said that. 

Jim: You didn't say you didn't either. 

Blair: Fine, I tell Connor some things. 

Jim: Oh shit... 

Connor: Oh settle down, Jimbo. I'm not going to spread any of those delicious tales he weaves for me daily. 

Jim: Chief, I'm going to kick your ass when we get home.

Blair: Connor remind me to tell you how much I love these fucking surveys. 

Simon: Now are we ready to move on? 

 

Connor: Dogs don't criticize your friends. 

 

Joel: I try not to criticize my friends. 

Simon: I try not to either. 

Jim: I don't do it. 

Blair: Choke...Choke...choke... 

Simon: Sandburg you okay? 

Blair: Jim, wanna retract that before we move on? 

Jim: Fine, sometimes I criticize Blair. 

Rafe: Blair? You criticize everyone, Ellison. 

Brown: Okay, I have to agree on this one, Ellison. You need to calm your act down and enjoy life. 

Jim: Fine. I'll try to keep my opinions to myself from now on. 

Blair: Connor, don't you love when he pouts? 

Connor: He is quite cute with his bottom lip sticking out. 

Jim: Fuck you Connor. 

Connor: Maybe later, if you let me brag afterwards. 

Jim: Choke...Choke... 

Simon: Would you and Sandburg learn how to drink and eat? 

Jim: Sorry Simon. It went down the wrong way. 

Connor: Why do you all say that? It can only go down one way. It goes down. It can't go up, it just goes down. 

Joel: It's a figure of speech, Connor. 

Connor: So do we all agree that no one but Ellison criticizes anyone? 

Blair: Well, that's not true. 

Simon: Fine, who else? 

Blair: You Simon. You criticize worse than Jim does. In fact, I figured that it's where Jim took lessons. 

Simon: Connor could you explain to me again, why this is supposed to be helping you? 

Connor: Sure, sir. I get to do a paper on your interactions, your answers and your opinions of yourself and each other. 

Simon: Move on Connor before I pull the damn plug on them all. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent; because they know the most important thing is that, you're together. 

 

Jim: Hey, I'm always happy with whatever Blair rents. 

Blair: Right. 

Simon: This one is just plain stupid. 

Blair: Sir, the whole point is that you're spending quality time with someone, not what video you chose.

Jim: There you go, I love no matter what you rent, even if I hate the damn thing. 

Brown: I think this one's dumb too. 

Rafe: I think we should pass these ones by without wasting our time. 

Joel: I agree with Blair on this one. It's important that you spend quality time with someone and that's what you're not seeing here. 

Connor: I love that some of you guys can figure these out by yourself. 

 

Connor: Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous. 

 

Jim: Was this one made for Rafe and Sandburg or what? 

Blair: What do you mean by that, Jim? 

Jim: Well, you're too gorgeous and don't pretend like you don't know it. 

Blair: And you know damn well that you're like a Greek god. So where is this taking us? 

Jim: I just get jealous sometimes. 

Blair: Man, you're so fucking sexy when you're jealous. 

Joel: I think it's made for the two of them too. 

Rafe: Wait a minute, how the hell was I drawn into this? I'm not gay. 

Jim: What does this have to do with being gay? 

Rafe: Well, you're talking about gorgeous guys, why would you all notice me? 

Jim: Rafe, have Connor explain it to you. 

Connor: Rafe, honey, I'll talk to you later tonight. 

Brown: You're a little slow on the uptake, Brian. 

Rafe: Blair do you get it? 

Blair: Yeah, Rafe, they're jealous of me and you getting most of the attention in the bullpen.

Rafe: Oh, that. Okay, I knew about that. 

Jim: See, that's what we're talking about. 

Simon: I think you're all nuts. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence. 

 

Jim: I imagine Sandburg will have something to say about this one. 

Blair: Yeah, I do. I'm never threatened by your intelligence. 

Jim: Thank you, baby. 

Connor: Jim, I think he was insulting you. 

Jim: I know, I'm just making him feel bad now. 

Blair: It worked. 

Jim: God, I'm good. 

Simon: Another stupid one. 

Joel: Many folks are threatened by some of you guys being so smart, but I just tell them flat out, don't worry, they're just as dumb as the rest of us. 

Simon: Thanks Joel. That makes us all feel so much better. 

Joel: You're welcome. 

Brown: Hey who was he calling dumb? 

Rafe: Us. 

 

Connor: Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization. 

 

Joel: Is it just me, or does this one scream Ellison? 

Simon: I see Ellison here too. 

Jim: I don't. 

Blair: You wouldn't. 

Jim: Shut up. 

Blair: See bad social skills? 

Simon: You're giving them more ammo, Jim.

Rafe: I see Ellison, but I also see Simon.

Simon: Shut up, Rafe.

Rafe: It was okay when it was just Jim, but now that it's you, you have a problem with it? Bad social skills if you ask me. 

Simon: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Jim: You're giving them more ammo, Simon. (snickering)

Simon: Fuck you too, Ellison. 

Brown: Well, I see both of them too. 

Connor: I have to say this one is so Ellison it isn't even funny. I just had to have my say on it. 

Jim: Hey you're not supposed to be answering these. You're supposed to be just sitting in. 

Simon: Yeah. 

Jim: Good come back, Simon. Thanks. 

Simon: Fuck you, Ellison. 

Jim: Not today, sir. I'm busy and Blair is the jealous type. 

Simon: Connor could you move this along? 

 

Connor: The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.) 

 

Rafe: Ewwwwww 

Brown: Yeah, what he said. 

Joel: This is a terrible one. Connor, where did you get this survey? 

Simon: I don't even want to think on this one. 

Jim: Actually, I like this one. Wouldn't that be great, if you could put the person out of their misery that gave you a disease?? 

Blair: Nice thought there, Jim. 

Jim: Hey, I was kidding. 

Connor: I can't believe you guys. This is a great one and you all wussed out except for Jim. 

Jim: Thanks, Connor. 

 

Connor: Dogs understand what "no" means. 

 

Jim: This reminds me of Sandburg. Do you remember when I used to say, "Stay in the truck?" 

Blair: OH those were the good ole days, weren't they, guys? Not. 

Joel: This reminds me of Blair too. 

Simon: Me too. 

Blair: What is this, pick on Sandburg day? 

Simon: Yes, yes it is. 

Rafe: Yeah, this has Sandburg written all over it. 

Brown: It also has Connor written all over it. She's not into listening either. 

Jim: I couldn't agree with you more, Brown.

Connor: This is supposed to be about you all. 

Simon: Well you're one of us all. 

Connor: Thanks, Simon. 

Simon: Don't let it go to your head. 

 

 

 

Connor: You can train a dog.

 

Joel: Men are pretty hard to train. 

Jim: I think I'm pretty well trained. 

Blair: Yeah, you're pretty well behaved. 

Simon: I don't want to be trained, I'm not a dog. 

Rafe: Oh good one, Simon. 

Brown: I agree with Simon.

Blair: I can't be trained either. So I think it's safe to say the only one trainable in the group is Jim.

Connor: Here, here. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. I think Joel trained really well.

 

Connor: You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams. 

 

Jim: Well I have to admit, that if I hear something out of the ordinary, I get a little upset about it. 

Blair: No need to Jim. We're cool. 

Rafe: I've never had to deal with this. 

Brown: Me either. What do you mean, anyhow? You mean, saying someone's name in your sleep or something? God that would be embarrassing. 

Simon: I did it once after the divorce. 

Joel: Did the woman get mad? 

Simon: Yup. 

Joel: Well I've not done it that I know of. 

 

 

Connor: Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner. 

 

Joel: That's a funny one. I never understood why someone would want someone younger than they are themselves. 

Brown: Joel, Joel, Joel. We're going to have to teach you what younger women do for a person. 

Joel: I'm telling you Brown, if you were ever with a woman my age, you'd be dating them that age. 

Rafe: Ewwwwww 

Jim: Well things are looking up; he's not saying that about us. 

Blair: Cool, we're not the topic of discussion on this one. Way cool. 

Rafe: Well, actually Sandburg, you are going to be the topic in just a moment. Jim went looking for younger and found you. 

Brown: Holy shit, I never thought of that. Yeah, Jim, why couldn't you have dated someone your own age? 

Simon: You know now that they're talking about it, do you find you have problems with your age differences? 

Jim: Jesus, you all act like he's 17. He's only 9 years younger than I am. 

Blair: Yeah, so like, so there. 

Connor: Oh Sandy you crack me up. You do sound like your 17. I bet Jim is blown away sometimes. 

Rafe: Why do you want to mention blowing Jim away? Now Sandburg will have to say something. 

Blair: About what? 

Rafe: Oh you know you were going to say something about blowing Ellison. 

Blair: Why are you so fascinated with our sex life? 

Rafe: Oh come on, you know you were dying to say it. 

Jim: Rafe, I take offense to what you just said. 

Rafe: Oh you are so full of shit, Ellison. 

Blair: Jim isn't full of shit; we took care of that earlier. 

Rafe: See, that's what I meant. 

Jim: What? What did you mean?

Rafe: You know what I meant. 

Blair: Well I don't, so tell me. 

Rafe: Man, you guys are going to pay for this. (giggling, uncontrollably)

Blair: What you giggling about Rafe? 

Rafe: Nothing. You guys are beginning to grow on me. 

Jim: Simon, I really take offense to what he's saying. Now he thinks we're going to grow on him? 

Simon: Okay, guys you've had your fun. Settle down. 

Connor: So does anyone believe that you have to date someone younger to enjoy yourself? 

Jim: Duh.

Blair: Thanks, hot stuff. 

Jim: No thank you, sweet man.

Brown: Oh god, look what you started Rafe. 

Rafe: (giggling again) I can't help it; they seem cuter today. 

Connor: They're always this cute, you just didn't notice before. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.

 

Blair: Man, is this one screaming Jim to anyone else? 

Jim: What are you talking about? I let you drive sometimes. 

Blair: Sometimes, once a month doesn't constitute as sometimes. 

Rafe: Ellison let the kid drive. 

Jim: Rafe, why are you calling him kid, what are you, two days older? 

Simon: Yeah, what he said. 

Rafe: Hey you know I'm a lot older than he is. 

Brown: Jim, you don't let Hairboy drive very often, that's true. 

Joel: I hate to agree with everyone, but they're right, Jim. 

Jim: Fine, I'll see about letting Sandburg drive now and then. Chief, how about when we go in Simon's car? Would that count? 

Simon: No, it would not count. 

Blair: Simon you're no fun whatsoever. 

Simon: That's why I'm the boss and you aren't. 

Connor: So does this say anything about anyone else? 

Simon: Yes, I don't like anyone driving my car. Especially Ellison. 

Jim: Simon, are you going to hold it against me for life about that damn car incident? 

Simon: Why yes I am. 

Jim: Oh goody. 

Simon: Connor, there seems to be a lull in the action, let's forge on. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs admit it when they're lost. 

 

Joel: Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say this. What the hell is this survey about? I mean it keeps talking about men being lost. Well, I'm not ashamed to say, I'm fucking lost here. What do dogs and men have in common, Connor? 

Connor: Well, actually Joel, these answers beg to differ with you. 

Joel: Shit, I hate when I'm the only one who doesn't understand. 

Rafe: You're not, Joel. I don't get it either. 

Brown: I haven't understood one of these yet.

Connor: Well, why didn't you ask? 

Brown: Why, like you'll help us. You're probably taking notes to add a laugh track or something. 

Jim: Brown, that sounded a little on the paranoid side.

Brown: I know. I've been with you all week. 

Jim: What's that supposed to mean? 

Blair: He was kidding, Jim. 

Brown: Yeah, Ellison, I was kidding. 

Simon: I will admit when I'm lost. There you have it. That's why I'm the boss and you aren't. 

Blair: I also admit when I'm lost. Jim doesn't. 

Jim: Why do you keep saying that? 

Simon: They're teasing again, Jim. 

Joel: Jim, face it, you're usually lost. 

Jim: What is this? Pick on Ellison day? 

Rafe: Man, do you think we could have a special day for that? 

Simon: I'll see what's open on the calendar when we get to work tomorrow. 

Jim: I almost forgot to laugh. 

Blair: Jim, lighten up.

 

Connor: Dogs mean it when they kiss you. 

 

Joel: I never kiss someone that I don't really care for. 

Jim: I don't either. 

Simon: I don't think it would be wise to even get into this. 

Jim: What? 

Simon: You've never kissed anyone that you didn't care about? 

Jim: Fine, before Sandburg, maybe. 

Simon: Maybe? 

Jim: Fine, I did a few times. But I don't now. That's what's important. 

Rafe: Okay, do we get to answer here? I don't kiss and tell. (Snickering.) 

Brown: Like hell you don't. 

Rafe: So do you? 

Brown: No, I guess not. 

Blair: I believe that kissing is one of the sexiest things a person can do with another person. I always mean it. 

Jim: What do you mean by that? 

Blair: Jim, I always mean it when I kiss you. 

Jim: That's not what you meant, and you know it. 

Blair: Shit, now you're going to tell me what I meant to say? 

Simon: Okay, I see this going downhill fast. Connor, we need to step this up. What's next? 

Jim: Chief, I'm not forgetting. 

Blair: I already forgot. 

 

 

Connor: You can house train a dog. 

 

Jim: All right, here is one made for Sandburg. 

Blair: What do you mean? 

Connor: OH Sandy, even I saw this one as you.

Blair: Why? 

Connor: Because you are such a pig and don't like being told what to do. 

Brown: Yeah, Hairboy. This is you. 

Rafe: Okay, so far, we're all agreeing. Does this call for a newsflash? 

Simon: This one screams Sandburg for sure. 

Blair: Why don't I see it? 

Jim: Because you think you're trained already. 

Joel: Well, I for one think that Blair is trained, so this makes no sense to me. 

Blair: Thank you, Joel. 

Jim: He just wants some of your cooking this weekend. 

Blair: You're just jealous that not everyone saw it like you did. 

 

Connor: Dogs don't correct your stories. 

 

Joel: Oh wow. This is Simon. 

Simon: What do you mean it's me? 

Jim: Simon it is you. I've never said anything where you didn't correct it for me. 

Blair: Simon, I have to agree with Jim on this one. 

Simon: I can't believe this is how you all see me. 

Rafe: Yep, I see Simon in this one too. 

Brown: Well, Simon is nice about it though. 

Jim: Good save, Brown. You are kissing ass big time. 

Simon: Now if you all want me to start correcting stories we could start with one time... 

Connor: Fine we get it. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs admit when they're jealous. 

 

Joel: I would admit that I'm jealous. Wouldn't you all? 

Jim: Hell yes, I would and do. 

Blair: He does.

Jim: But you never get jealous, do you? 

Blair: Yes, I do, I just don't let you see it. 

Jim: Why not? 

Blair: Because you're head would be too big and not that head. 

Rafe: God, I knew it. I knew he'd have to say something before the night was out about Ellison's dick. 

Brown: Good one, Hairboy. 

Rafe: I get jealous sometimes. 

Brown: I'm jealous a lot of times. 

Simon: I don't know that I've ever suffered jealous with a woman. I'll have to get back to you on that one, Connor. 

Blair: How about a guy? 

Simon: Choke...Choke...Choke... 

Blair: Simon, now you're the one that doesn't know how to drink. Want to answer my question? 

Simon: Where the hell did that come from? 

Blair: You said, I've never been jealous with a woman before. I just wondered if you'd been jealous of a man.

Simon: That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. 

Jim: Simon it's okay if you have. 

Simon: Jim, don't patronize me. 

Joel: I've felt some jealousy at the office of some of the guys from time to time. 

Simon: Fine, so have I. Now could we please move on, Connor? 

Blair: So what were you jealous of and how did you overcome it, Simon? 

Simon: I'm not going there, Sandburg. So give it up. 

Jim: Maybe this is one to come back to, eh Simon? 

Simon: Not if you value your days off, Jim. Now move on, Connor. 

 

 

Connor: Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and then never laugh at how you throw). 

 

Joel: I have to admit, anyone that would make fun of Connor's throwing arm would be an idiot. 

Connor: Thanks, Joel. You're always so nice to me. 

Joel: I try to be. 

Jim: Quit sucking up Joel and just ask her out already. 

Joel: Shut up, Ellison. 

Blair: Wow, did you all hear that, Joel just said, shut up? 

Connor: Oh stop it. 

Rafe: Hey Joel, you have a thing for Connor?

Simon: This is getting stupid now. Why in the hell would Joel have a thing for Connor? They've worked together for two years now. They're too good of friends for that to happen. 

Jim: So Joel, is this true? 

Joel: I wouldn't mind going out sometime, Megan.

Connor: Oh Joel, that is so darn sweet. Sure, you name the place and the time and we'll make a date. 

Blair: All right Joel. I told you it would work. 

Jim: You knew about this? 

Blair: Anyone with eyes knows about this. 

Simon: Excuse me, Sandburg, I didn't see a thing. 

Blair: You weren't looking sir. 

Rafe: Connor, are you always that easy? 

Brown: Good one, Rafe. 

Connor: You having fun, men? 

Joel: I'm sorry Connor. I didn't mean to embarrass you. 

Connor: Joel, don't worry about it. 

Jim: So Chief, are there other things you don't tell me too? 

Blair: Oh god. Get a grip, Ellison. What was the question again, Connor? 

Connor: Dogs don't play games with you. 

Blair: That's true. 

Jim: You think I play games with you, Sandburg? 

Blair: Yeah, I do. 

Jim: Sandburg, you're pissing me off. 

Blair: Oh wait, should we call the news station. Late breaking news. Jim Ellison is pissed off at one Blair Sandburg for having a mind of his own and not sharing it all the time. 

Jim: Fuck you. 

Simon: Well now that we're totally off this, someone want to bring it back around? In fact, I'll do it. I don't play games. People know exactly where they stand with me. 

Joel: That's true, Simon. 

Rafe: I agree. 

Simon: What do you think, Ellison? 

Jim: Who cares? 

Connor: Jim, stop acting like your four. 

Jim: Fuck you, Connor. 

Connor: Do you kiss Sandy with that mouth? 

Jim: Not any more. 

Blair: Well shit. Could we get through one of these without you getting pissed off at me? 

Jim: No. 

Connor: Simon I think we should move on. 

Simon: Shit, maybe not, this is getting good.

Rafe: So what do you think about this, Sandburg?

Blair: Jim is a major game player. He never tells me how he feels outright. I always have to guess. 

Joel: Jim, is that true? 

Jim: I don't know. 

Joel: Jim, it either is or isn't. 

Jim: Chief, I don't know what you want me to say. 

Blair: The truth, Ellison, the truth. 

Jim: Fine, I love you. Is that good? 

Blair: I knew that you loved me. You idiot. I'm talking how you feel about other things. Like sharing your life with me. About other people knowing about us. Those types of things. 

Jim: And we have to do this now? 

Simon: No, actually I think that might be a bad idea. 

Connor: Well, maybe not. How about if we each ask Jim one question and he has to answer us truthfully. 

Jim: Why just me? Why not Blair too? 

Simon: Okay, Jim first. I get to start. Jim, how do you feel about everyone at the station knowing about you and Sandburg? 

Jim: I hate it. 

Blair: See, I knew you did. 

Jim: I hate it because now they talk about things, you would never understand, Chief. 

Rafe: I'm next. Jim, what kind of things do they say at the station? 

Jim: Well you just want a few examples? Here goes. One guy wondered if I could hold on to Sandburg any better than I did my wife. Another guy wondered if I looked at all guys like I do Sandburg, and wasn't that enough to make them want to kick my ass? Lets see, yesterday, the best one was a woman wondered how I could possibly keep Blair happy since he was the sexiest and most virile person she'd ever known. Then everyone went on to discuss how fucking good Blair was in bed. 

Joel: Holy shit, Jim, why didn't you say something. We could have helped you through it. 

Blair: Jim, I'm sorry. I had no idea this was going on. Who said that about kicking your ass? I need to know, k? 

Jim: Blair, you aren't going to kick someone's ass for me. 

Blair: Jim, I'm really sorry. Okay, this part of the questions is over. 

Simon: No, I think this might be good. Brown, it's your turn. 

Brown: Jim, how do you feel about us? Do you still like us as much as you used to? 

Jim: Brown, where the fuck did that question come from. Of course, I still like you all. In fact, I love you all. Geeze. 

Brown: Cool, cuz we love you too. Hairboy too. 

Blair: Thanks, H. 

Joel: Okay, lets get this over with Jim. Have you had either a male or female come on to you since you've come out? 

Jim: Yes. 

Blair: What? When? 

Jim: All the time, Chief. 

Blair: We will talk about this later on. 

Jim: I'm sure we will. 

Blair: I'm not mad, Jim. 

Connor: Okay, Jim, we're almost done. Do you feel any differently since you came out? I mean, do you feel like you have to prove things to anyone and so on? 

Jim: Yeah, I always feel like I have to be one step ahead of everyone else. I have to be tougher, meaner and better at my job. God forbid that they find out Blair and I are fighting or something. They taunt me in the locker room as it is. 

Simon: What do you mean they taunt you? 

Jim: It doesn't matter Simon. 

Simon: It does matter Jim. It matters a great deal. You mean they're saying things to you? Touching you or what? 

Jim stood up and readied to leave. 

Blair: Jim get back here. I want to talk to you right now.

Jim: Why? Why the fuck do you want to talk to me. Just talk to them. You tell them everything anyhow. 

Simon: I'll go after him Sandburg. 

Blair: No, you all stay here, I'll go and talk to him. Be right back. 

Blair: Jim, come on, we need to go home. Right now. I want to talk to you. 

Jim: Chief, I can't do this anymore. 

Blair: You dumping me? 

Jim: Maybe. 

Blair: No fucking way. 

Jim: Baby. 

Blair: Don't you baby me. 

Jim: I'm sorry Chief. 

Blair: Get back out there and we'll discuss things when we're done. Okay. It's time for the questions to me. 

Jim: Fine, then can we go home? 

Blair: Yes. 

Simon: You two okay? 

Jim: Yeah, Blair wants to answer his questions. 

Simon: Okay, I have a good one for him. Sandburg, have you been hassled at all since this all came about? 

Blair: Yes. 

Jim: What do you mean, yes? 

Blair: I've been smacked around a few times. I've been called names and I had one guy try to hold me down while they tried to take my clothes off. 

Jim: I'm going to fucking kill them. 

Simon: I have a quick question, here. Where the hell were we when this happened? 

Blair: Simon I didn't want to whine to you like a child. I wanted Jim to think I could take care of myself. 

Simon: And did you? 

Blair: Well, I got out without being naked, so I guess I did something right. 

Rafe: Sandburg, that is such bullshit. I can't believe this is happening at our station. I want names. I'm going to kick ass. 

Blair: Why? You haven't wanted to hear about us or think about us. Why does it make any difference to you now? 

Rafe: I was always joking Sandburg. Seriously. I was always joking. 

Blair: It doesn't matter. 

Simon: Okay, I see a problem here. Sandburg and Ellison, you're in deep shit with me. If you ever keep this type of secret again, I'll kick BOTH of YOUR asses. 

Blair: Understood, Simon. Thanks. 

Jim: Thanks? Thanks for what? Sandburg, you know they'll go after them next. 

Blair: Well, what do you suggest, Jim? Do you suggest we forget about us? You want to dump me right here and now? 

Jim: Well, I think we might have to put some thought into this. 

Connor: Ellison I'm going to kick some major ass here. What the fuck is wrong with you? 

Jim: Connor, you don't hear what they say. You have no idea how it is. You don't know what it's like to have your friends look at us differently now.

Simon: Jim, get your ass back here. NOW. 

Jim: Sir, with all due respect, go fuck yourself. 

Blair: Jim, calm down. Come on, baby calm down. 

Everyone stood there quiet and motionless for about ten minutes as Blair just held on to Jim. No words were said. But they all watched Blair stroke Jim's back as he tried to calm him with feelings alone. Finally, Jim pulled away and said, "I have to go." 

Blair: We're out of here. 

Connor: Want me to come along and help with things? 

Blair: I'm pretty sure I don't need anyone's help. Jim's feeling like he can't handle things right now. We'll be fine. 

Simon: Okay, take him home kid. He might let you drive tonight. 

Rafe: Yeah, I bet you could talk him into letting you drive. 

Brown: Ask him, we want to hear what he says. 

Blair: Jim, could I have the truck keys? 

Jim: No fucking way, Chief. Now get your ass out to that truck so we can talk. 

Blair: Bye everyone. See you tomorrow. 

Connor: Take care of him, Sandy. 

Blair: I will Connor, thanks. 

Simon: Get out of here, Sandburg. 

Rafe: Hey Jim, if you need to talk to anyone, you know where I am man.

Jim: Thanks, Rafe. I'll see you tomorrow. 

Blair: We're so out of here. 

Jim: Come on Chief. 

The friends all watched Jim and Blair as they walked hand in hand out of the building. This place was like their little meeting place, but for some reason it was ruined now. Connor felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. 

Brown had one of the saddest looks on his face. He realized for the first time in his life, that his friends were getting a tougher life than they deserved. 

Rafe knew at this very moment that he wasn't going to make any jokes about Jim and Blair anymore. From now on, he'd be the best friend they could find. 

Simon was sadder than he'd been in years. This was a tough call for him, but he thought he might have to call IA on this. 

Joel sat down; shell shocked and waited for them to leave so maybe everyone could decide what should be done. 

Once the two men were outside of the building, the discussions started up. 

Simon: Okay, first thing tomorrow, we start an investigation. I don't care how we get the info, but we're going to find out whoever did this to these two men. Does everyone understand? 

Joel: You don't need to say it twice for any of us sir. 

The doors to the room opened again, Jim and Blair walked back in, and they sat down with the rest of them. 

Jim: I'm sorry. I should have told you, Simon. 

Simon: Yes you should have, but I understand your reluctance. 

Blair: Well, we talked outside for a second and decided we needed to talk with our friends, not shut ourselves off from all of you. 

Connor: Thank god for that. We were worried sick. 

Joel: You guys know that you're always safe with us, right? 

Jim: Yeah, we do. Thanks. 

Rafe: Even me, Ellison? 

Jim: Even you, Rafe. You might not approve of what we do all the time, but you wouldn't hurt us for anything. 

Rafe: I'm glad you know that. 

Blair: Well, Jim felt like he was trapped and would have to leave me, but he now knows I'd have to kick his beautiful ass. 

Jim: I'd let you, hot stuff. 

Connor: Does anyone mind a group hug? 

Simon: I do. 

Joel: I don't.

Rafe: If we have to. 

Brown: I live to hug. 

Blair: Bring it on, Connor. 

Jim: I love hugging these days. 

Simon: Have we told you lately that you've become a big wuss puss? 

Jim: Yes and I don't mind it a bit. As long as I'm his wuss puss. 

Blair: You'll always be my wuss, Jim. Always. 

Connor: Group hug. 

Jim: Thanks, Connor. We needed that. 

Connor: So did we. 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 11

 

   
Email funny ammo for more of these and I’ll gladly do more if you like them.   
PattRose1@aol.com


	12. The Drama Continues

Sullivan’s Pub Part 12  
Connor’s Quiz 7   
Patt

 

   
The Drama Continues  
   
   
The gang met at Sullivan’s pub and had a few minutes before Jim and Blair were due to get there.   
   
Simon: So what do you suggest we do for our friends?

Connor: I suggest we have a quiz for Jim and Blair to give us. They can ask us anything they want. We have to tell the truth, no matter what. 

Joel: I like that idea Connor. 

Rafe: What if they ask something that we don’t want to answer. 

Brown: Yeah, what if it’s something we don’t want to say, because it might hurt their feelings. 

Simon: Well, I think that perhaps it’s too late. Others have already hurt their feelings. Time for the truth. 

Joel: I couldn’t agree more, Simon. 

Connor: Heads up, mates, here they come.   
   
Jim: Hey everyone. 

Blair: Hi guys. Oh sorry, Megan. 

Connor: It’s okay. Well, sit down guys we have a proposition for you tonight. We’re going to postpone our usual survey that I give you. Tonight I’d like you two to ask us anything you’d like to ask. Anything. We have to answer truthfully, or it won’t work. 

Simon: Only if you’re up for it. We just figured with everything from our last one, you might need to find out some things. What better way?

Joel: Is that cool with you, both?

Jim: I think it might be okay. 

Blair: I think it’s very cool. Jim, this will be great. We can ask them things that we’ve wondered about in private. Now’s our chance to ask. 

Connor: Well if you’re ready, Jim, you can go first.   
   
Jim: Okay, here is the first one. What do you think about me sleeping with Blair?

Joel: Well, that one is too easy, Jim. At first I was a little shocked, but got over it quickly and moved on to wondering how I didn’t see it all along. 

Simon: I have to say I was a little uncomfortable at first. I couldn’t help it. It bothered me that big tough Jim Ellison slept with a man. It just didn’t compute. However, I’m getting there. 

Brown: I was shocked and I’m still working through some things that have me bothered. 

Rafe: I’m also in shock and I’m not comfortable at all with it. That doesn’t mean I want anyone saying or doing anything to you. I just haven’t come to terms with it yet.

Connor: I think it’s great. I always wondered what in the hell took you two so long to get to where you are now. Okay, now Jim if you have something to add, you do it now. 

Jim: No, that’ll do for now.   
   
Connor: Okay, Blair you’re up next. 

Blair: All right everyone; here goes nothing. Does it totally gross you out if I kiss Jim?

Joel: No.

Simon: Yes.

Rafe: Yes. 

Brown: No, I don’t think so. Gross is a harsh word to use. It bothers me a little, but it doesn’t gross me out, Hairboy. 

Connor: You all are weird, except for Joel. It doesn’t bother me in the least. I like to see them let down the defenses and kiss now and then. 

Blair: Okay, Simon, what grosses you out about it? It’s just a kiss, right? 

Simon: We have to explain our answers. Connor you never said we had to explain. You just said answer truthfully. 

Blair: Fine, don’t answer; I don’t care. Rafe, do you know why it grosses you out.

Rafe: Duh, Hairboy, you’re both guys.

Blair: So, if I was kissing a babe, you’d think it was totally cool, am I right? 

Rafe: Of course you’re right. 

Simon: Now I don’t agree. I really don’t want to see you kiss anyone. 

Blair: So you’re not just against Jim and me. You’re against PDA’s in general? 

Simon: I think I am, Blair and you know what, I feel better about that. I was thinking that I was homophobic. But if Connor started kissing someone right now, I wouldn’t want to see it either. 

Blair: Connor, want to give that test?

Connor: Sure enough.   
   
Connor got up, walked past Blair, leaned into Joel, and kissed him very passionately. This went on for about two minutes and finally Simon said, “Break it up you two.”  
   
Blair: Okay, Simon I take it that bothers you too?

Simon: Yes, it does. I don’t want to see people kiss, I guess. 

Joel: Now see I thought it was nice. 

Jim: Duh. 

Rafe: Hey Connor, you and Joel? 

Connor: Got a problem with us being mixed race?

Rafe: No, I was thinking more on the lines of he’s old enough to be your…

Joel: Rafe if you know what’s good for you, you’ll say older brother. 

Rafe: That is what I was going to say. 

Simon: When did this happen, you two?

Joel: Two nights ago. Simon, you okay with it? 

Simon: Whatever makes you happy, Joel. 

Connor: Blair, how did you know?

Blair: Remember that I used to study people all the time? Well, guess what folks. I still do. I watch all of you and learn. 

Jim: That’s a fucking scary thought. 

Connor: Okay, Jim you’re up next for a question.   
   
Jim: Okay, Rafe, I’m going to play a word game with you, just you and me. You’re going to say the first word that pops into your mind when I say a word. No one else, just Rafe. Got it?

Rafe: Do I look stupid, Jim? Go ahead. 

Jim: Okay, here we go. Kiss.

Rafe: Ewwww.

Jim: That’s not a fucking word, Rafe. 

Rafe: Sorry. Okay, lets start again. 

Jim: Kiss.

Rafe: Girl.

Jim: Penis.

Rafe: Pussy.

Jim: Lips.

Rafe: Girl.

Jim: Cock.

Rafe: Pussy.

Jim: Ass.

Rafe: Pussy.

Jim: Blowjob

Rafe: Woman giving it. 

Jim: One word.

Rafe: Woman

Jim: How the hell would you get woman out of blowjob?

Rafe: Jim, duh. Who gives blowjobs? DUH.

Jim: Blair and I both do.

Rafe: Ewwww.

Jim: Okay, you’re stuck on me being with a man, I would say. 

Rafe: You didn’t need to ask all those one-word things. Just ask me. Yes, it bothers me. I would never hurt you or Sandburg but I don’t approve. 

Jim: You don’t approve?

Rafe: No, I don’t. 

Jim: So you really don’t care for us anymore?

Blair: Jim, that isn’t what he said. 

Jim: Sandburg, this is my turn to ask. You wait your turn. 

Rafe: So Jim, do you think you need my approval?

Jim: This is my question not yours.

Rafe: Afraid to answer me?

Jim: Yes, I sometimes feel like I need you all to approve. I want you to be as happy about us as we are. 

Rafe: Well, it’s not going to happen, Ellison. Sorry. 

Connor: Jim, how about you ask some of the others?  
   
Jim: Joel do you approve of Sandburg and me?

Joel: Hell yes. 

Jim: Why?

Joel: Why? What a silly question Jim. I love you guys. So why wouldn’t I be happy for you both?

Jim: Thanks Joel. 

Joel: You’re welcome, Jim.   
   
Jim: Simon, do you approve of Sandburg and me? 

Simon: It’s not a matter of approving, Jim. I hate to see you in a situation that you can’t help yourself or Sandburg. 

Jim: Simon, that’s a cop out. Now do you approve or not? 

Simon: Why the hell do you care if anyone approves?

Jim: Because you’re one of my oldest and dearest friends, I want you to approve. 

Simon: Yeah, I approve. I like him too. Not that way, get the look off your face. 

Blair: Choke…Choke…Choke…

Jim: Chief, you okay? 

Blair: I’m still trying to figure out why Simon just said those nice things. 

Simon: Shut up Sandburg, or I’ll take them back. 

Blair: Okay. Go ahead Jim. Continue. You’re doing a bang up job, too. And baby, speaking of bang up.

Rafe: Now those things make me not approve.

Blair: I was joking, Rafe. 

Rafe: Well, not everyone thinks those things are funny. 

Joel: Well, I thought it was funny. 

Brown: So did I. The Gay and Bi humor is growing on me. 

Simon: Oh Jesus. 

Connor: I thought it was cute too. Now Jim, wanna see if anyone else approves?

 

Jim: Brown, do you approve?

Brown: I didn’t at first, because I was in shock. Now I not only approve, but I think you two are somewhat cute. 

Simon: I say again, Jesus. 

Jim: Thanks Brown. 

Brown: No problem, Ellison. Hey, can we start calling you Elli? 

Jim: Not if you want to live.

Blair: Good one, Jim. Want me to tell them what I call you?

Jim: Not a chance. 

Connor: Oh man, we miss all the good stuff. Damn.   
   
Jim: Connor, do you approve of us?

Connor: Silly man. There is nothing I wouldn’t do when it comes to Sandy. You should know that. 

Jim: That doesn’t answer my question, Connor. Do you approve? 

Connor: Yeah, I do. I like the two of you together. 

Jim: Thanks. 

Connor: No problem, Jimbo. 

Jim: And don’t call me Jimbo. 

Connor: Okay, Jimbo.   
   
Jim: Blair how do you feel about the two of us with our friends?

Blair: Wait a minute; this is supposed to be about them, not me or about me. Right? 

Jim: Just answer the question. 

Blair: I’m on guard a lot. I think that’s why I make so many jokes. I’m afraid they won’t like us anymore. That would break my heart. I know it would break yours too. 

Rafe: Hey Ellison is it too late to answer my question again?

Jim: Rafe, you don’t have to say the same thing as everyone else. That’s why we’re doing this. Therefore, we can be truthful. 

 

Rafe: Then I need to say something more. It isn’t that I don’t approve, it’s that it rather grosses me out. 

Jim: Well, whatever. 

Rafe: No, I mean the idea grosses me out. Not that you two are doing it. I think you guys are good for each other. I would have to change this to I do approve, but it still squicks me.

Jim: Squicks?

Blair: It just means that it makes him sick, but he likes us and puts up with it because of that. 

Jim: Whatever. 

Rafe: Jim, I really do like you and Sandburg.

Jim: I know you do, Rafe. Don’t worry about it. 

Rafe: Sandburg, is he pissed off, I can’t tell. 

Blair: No, he’s hurt. 

Rafe: Ellison, I never meant to hurt you. 

Jim: Shut up Sandburg and you didn’t hurt me, Rafe. 

Rafe: Good.

Blair: He’s lying. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg.

Blair: Ask him directly and watch him dance around it. 

Rafe: Did I hurt your feelings, Jim? 

Jim: I’m going to kick your ass, Sandburg. Yes, you hurt my feelings. I do have them you know. I had them before I realized I was bi, you know. In case you wondered, Rafe.

Rafe: You are hurt. Damn it. I said it grosses me out, but it’s not you. 

Jim: Rafe tell me something. If I went out with Connor tonight and came into the bullpen tomorrow, would you want to know what we did?

Rafe: Of course I would. We all know what a slut she is. Oh sorry, Joel. 

Jim: See that’s what bothers me. It pisses me off that you would want the details about Connor and me, but not about me and Blair. 

Blair: Wait a moment; I think this is getting out of hand. I don’t want him to know about us. 

Rafe: Thank god. 

Jim: Shut up, Rafe. 

Connor: Okay, Jim, are you done, cuz I think Sandy needs a turn or two, what do you think?

Jim: I don’t care.   
   
Blair: Okay, I’ll start with Simon.

Simon: Oh goody. 

Blair: Ha Ha.

Simon: Just ask me and get this show on the road.

Blair: Do you wish that Jim would go back to being straight?

Simon: That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard of. 

Blair: And your answer is what?

Simon: Maybe sometimes. I miss our talking about dates and things. I don’t see much of him. Although if he was married or dating a woman, I’d feel the same way. Therefore, I take that back. 

Blair: You just talked yourself right out of your answer, eh? 

Simon: That I did Sandburg. I’ve been hanging around you for too long, that’s for sure. 

Blair: So, why don’t you ever ask Jim about us?

Simon: Choke…Choke…Choke…

Blair: That won’t get you out of it, Simon.

Simon: Connor, I thought it was one question.

Connor: I didn’t say how many, Simon. Answer the question. 

Simon: The reason I don’t ask is that I’m not comfortable enough with it yet. 

Blair: Okay, good enough. 

Simon: So is Jim hurt with my answers too?

Jim: Simon, I’m sitting right here, ask me. 

Simon: So Jim, are you hurt?

Jim: A little. Life goes on, Simon. 

Blair: Okay, I’m ready to move on now.   
   
Blair: Joel, can you tell me if you’d ever ask Jim or me a question about our sex life?

Joel: You know, Blair, I would never do that. Not because of what you might think. I don’t believe that we should discuss anyone’s sex life. However, if I did believe in it, I wouldn’t mind asking a few things. I’ve wondered some things. 

Blair: Joel, why not ask. It might not be anything bad. 

Joel: I’ll think about it, Blair. 

Jim: You can ask us anything, Joel. 

Joel: Okay, I have a question. 

Jim; Shoot.

Joel: Why didn’t you tell us about the men at the station giving you a bad time? 

Jim: Joel, we’re getting off the track here. 

Joel: Just answer me, Ellison. 

Jim: Because you would see it as a weakness I can ill afford to have you all see. 

Blair: You’re shitting me. 

Jim: And why did you not tell me, Chief? 

Blair: Oh yeah. Same reason I guess. 

Joel: So, will you promise me that you’ll come to me if anything ever happens again?

Jim: I swear that I’ll tell you and Sandburg. 

Simon: How about me?

Jim: Simon, I don’t think you really want to know.

Simon: You are so full of shit, Ellison. 

Jim: That may be, but I still don’t think you want to hear this stuff. 

Simon: Jim, when I heard about this the other night, I wanted to kill someone. I went home and wanted to slug my own reflection in the mirror. You want to know what upset me the most? That my good friend Jim Ellison had something like this happen to him and we’d grown so far apart that he couldn’t come to me anymore. It broke my heart, Jim. I kid you not I’ve not slept since this whole thing happened.   
   
Jim lowered his head to the table and everyone could see his body trembling. Simon didn’t think twice he went over to Jim and said, “I’m so sorry Jim. I never meant to hurt us both this way.” Simon slowly rubbed Jim’s back as he said this. He then turned to Blair and said, “Keep going with the questions. We’ll be fine here.”  
   
Jim lifted his head, looked Simon in they eyes and said, “I love him so much, Simon,” and then the big man smiled when he realized that Simon wasn’t upset about that.   
   
“I know you do, you nut. Now lets get back to business here,” Simon said.   
   
Blair: Connor, how do you feel about us sleeping together? 

Connor: I think it’s terrific, Sandy, but you know that. 

Blair: Why do you think that you ask questions and all the men don’t?

Connor: Well Duh, Sandy. They’re afraid it’s catching.

Simon: Connor, that is not true. 

Rafe: What a terrible thing to say. 

Brown: Not true. 

Joel: I don’t ask anyone about their sex life. 

Simon: And what do you mean she asks questions? 

Blair: She likes to hear about things. 

Simon: Oh for Christ’s sake. This is getting out of hand. 

Jim: Simon, I do believe this is where you say something better than oh for Christ’s sake. 

Simon: Oh for God’s sake?

Jim: Not even close. You’re not off that easy. 

Simon: Okay, I have a question. I want to know how do you know who is the top and who is the bottom. 

Rafe: (holding up his fingers in the form of a cross) Man, I don’t believe you just asked that. I don’t want to know. 

Simon: Well I guess I do. 

Jim: We take turns. 

Simon: Makes sense I guess.

Joel: So, Jim, do you feel odd when he takes you?

Jim: No, Joel, I feel rather great when he takes me. DUH!

Joel: No, I mean afterwards, do you think that you’re less of a man for this reason? 

Jim: Do you think that of either of us?

Joel: No, I would never think that, but I can see you worrying about this. That’s all. 

Connor: Joel honey, what happened to I never asks questions?

Joel: Well, it is something I wondered about. They seem open about it. 

Jim: I think that’s so cute that you just called him Joel honey. 

Connor: Thanks, Jimbo. 

Jim: Don’t call me Jimbo.

Connor: Sorry tough guy. 

Blair: Connor, just call him Ellison. 

Connor: Okay, Elli and Sandy, any more questions. 

Jim: I’m going to get you when you least suspect it. 

Connor: I was kidding, Ellison.   
   
   
Blair: Okay Rafe you’re up next. 

Rafe: Man, I hate this. 

Blair: This one is easy. 

Rafe: Good. 

Blair: Do you like Jim?

Rafe: Yes, you know I do. I like both of you. 

Blair: But have you ever thought about Jim as anything else than a co-worker?

Jim: Sandburg, what are you doing? 

Blair: Answer truthfully, Rafe. 

Rafe: (turning very red) Yes, I’ve thought about Jim once when we were out drinking. 

Blair: And did that bother you afterwards?

Rafe: No, I knew that I was drunk. 

Blair: So you could only have those thoughts if you were drunk?

Rafe: I’m sure I don’t know. 

Blair: You’ve never thought about him in that way again? 

Rafe: Sandburg, why not move on. 

Blair: You have haven’t you?

Rafe: Fine, yes. 

Blair: We’ll talk to you later and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I knew you were putting up too much of a fight for just being against the thought. 

Rafe: Sandburg, I’m not gay. 

Blair: Did I say you were?

Rafe: Yes. 

Blair: No I didn’t. We all wonder about someone sometime. Can any of you guys say that you never ever looked at another man?

Joel: Well, when I was in the service, I used to have a crush on a guy. Never went anywhere, but I liked watching him. 

Simon: Same here, I did watch someone once. However, didn’t follow through. Rafe, it’s not a bad thing. 

Connor: Holy shit, this is fairly common then? 

Joel: It means, I looked once, and wasn’t interested, Megan. 

Connor: I didn’t believe any different, honey. 

Joel: Sugar you keep that sweet talk up and we’re going to have to leave early. 

Blair: So, Rafe do you understand now? 

Rafe: Do I understand what?

Blair: That those feelings are just part of being curious. If they never went away, then you’re more than curious. 

Rafe: Gotcha.   
   
   
Blair: Okay, Brown you’ve been very quiet over there. What do you think about all of this? 

Brown: Which part? 

Blair: All of it? How do you feel about us being together? How do you feel about asking us things? Just everything. 

Brown: Well, I’m not going to start asking you things anytime soon. I truly believe that it’s your own business. I respect that. I love both of you guys and am happy for you to have found someone. I hope it works out. Happiness is hard enough to come by, so when it does, you best grab it and hold on for dear life. 

Blair: Thanks; Brown.

Brown: Don’t mention it, Hairboy. We all love you guys.   
   
Connor: How would you all like to come over to my place for poker? Joel and I would really like that. 

Joel: Yes, we’d love to have you over. 

Jim: I’d like to, thanks. 

Blair: Count me in. 

Rafe: I’d like to come over too. 

Brown: Yeah, sounds like fun to me. 

Simon: Sandburg, are you going to cheat? I know you cheat. 

Blair: I don’t cheat, Simon. I’ve never cheated. I just play well. 

Simon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don’t want to hear about your sex life. 

Blair: Hey y’all, Simon just made a bi joke. 

Jim: Will wonders never cease? 

Connor: So are we going or not? 

Jim: I’m in my truck already. (laughing)

Blair: See ya there. 

Joel: See ya guys. 

Simon: Jim, can I ride with you guys?

Jim: Sure, where is your car?

Simon: I’ve had a few too many tonight.

Jim: In that case, Blair wanna drive Simon’s car over to Connor’s?

Blair: Hell yes, Simon throw me the keys so I can put the pedal to the metal. 

Simon: God, why do I drink?

Jim: So you might be able to say things that you couldn’t sober?

Simon: Maybe. I’d like to talk to you on the way over there.

Jim: Sure we can talk. 

Blair: Simon, toss those keys and I’ll see you two there.

Brown: See you guys later. 

Simon: Bye Brown and Rafe. Drive careful. Have you had too much to drink? 

Rafe: No, Henry is the driver. He’s had coke and nothing else. 

Simon: Good, be careful.   
   
As everyone left the place, Simon put his arm over Jim’s shoulder and said, “You know that I really do love ya, don’t ya, Ellison?”  
   
“Yeah, Simon I do,” Jim said smiling up at his friend and boss. Simon hugged him close for a minute and then let go and they walked to the truck for their drive to Megan Connor’s house. Simon knew they’d have time to talk over a few things. This was a good thing.   
   
   
The end for now.   
 

   
   
 

   
   
 


	13. Sullivan's Pub Part 13

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 13  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B  R/B  J/C  S/S  D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 08/13/02  
Category: Drama, Humor  
Disclaimer: They aren’t mine, I wish they were. I don’t get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here? I’ll put them back when I’m finished. 

Author's Notes: I'm going to start on Part 14 soon. Just letting you   
know ahead of time.  Mary Browne is the one that gave me the ammo for this one. So if anyone gets hate mail, it should be her. 

Summary: Everyone is going to meet at the Taggert household until the baby is a little older. (Does this mean it will be called Taggert’s Home?) We’ll find out a little more about Jim and his legal problems in this one too. 

Warnings: m/m, angst/angst/and more angst

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Last time at Sullivan’s Pub:

"I guess we won't be having our weekly meetings at the Pub for awhile," Megan said sadly. 

"The time will fly by, you wait and see," Jim said standing up. 

"Jim?"

"Yeah, Connor?"

"I'll have lots of time on my hands if you need any help with anything for the upcoming investigation. I want to help. It will make me feel needed." 

"Okay, Connor. You got it."

The drive home was quiet but happy. When they walked through the door, Blair grabbed Jim and began to kiss him passionately. 

"Chief, I don't know if I can do this."

"Come on and we'll find out. I love you." Blair led him up the stairs for a nice long day of lovemaking. 

End Sullivan's Pub 12 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sullivan’s Pub 13  
Patt

Six week after Ellli was born, everyone missed the Sullivan’s Pub meeting so much that Jim called Connor. 

“Connor,” she answered.

“Hey Connor, it’s Ellison,”

“Well duh. I just saw you yesterday Jim. I’ve not lost brain cells since I had Princess Elli.”

“Good, that’s what I’m hoping for. We all miss you guys so much. WE miss the meetings at the pub. So wondered if you want to host a week at your house?” Jim waited in hopeful suspense. 

“Jim, that is such a terrific idea. I’ve been so lonesome for all of you. Thank you for asking. Would you invite everyone for 7:00 tomorrow night?”

“We’ll all be there with bells on, Missy,” Jim laughed as he hung up the phone. 

Joel walked into the room and saw the smile on Connor’s face and asked, “Meg, something wrong, or is something right?”

“I love you big man,” hugging Joel she began mentally making plans for the get-to-gether. “Oh honey, will you smack Ellison at work today?”

“Depends, Meg. What did he do?”

“He called me Missy,” laughing Connor walked from the room to check on Elli. 

When Joel got to the bullpen he asked Jim, “Could you come to my office for a moment?”

Jim hoped there was nothing wrong as he followed the large man into his office. As soon as they were inside Joel shut the door and pulled Jim into a nice manly hug. 

“I’m not bitching, but what brought this on, Joel?”

“I’ve not seen Megan happy, happy since she’s been home. Today she was happy. I still don’t know what you did, but thank you,” Joel looked at Jim so tenderly that Jim realized that baby was going to have the best dad in the world. 

“We’re having Sullivan’s Pub meeting at your house tomorrow night. That way we can all see Elli and Connor. We miss her a lot,” Jim finally sat down and decided to relax a moment until Simon found him. 

“Well that’s great Jim. Thanks again. Now while you’re here, why not fill me in on what your lawyer is doing,”

“Not much to tell; looks like the DA wants to bring charges. So as of tomorrow, I’m going to be suspended. But my lawyer says not to worry, but court won’t come up for about six months,” Jim looked out the window and not at Joel. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. 

“Whatever I can do to help, you let us know. In the meantime, you better finish your caseloads. Good luck, Jim,” Joel said shaking Jim’s hand. 

“Thanks Joel. See you tomorrow,” as Jim walked down the hallway he heard two officers in the break room talking about him. “Man, can you imagine Ellison getting fucked by all of those guys? Makes a person feel good about being alive doesn’t it?” Both men began laughing and then moved on to another subject. 

// I guess you’ll find out about it soon enough. // A sad Jim Ellison walked into the bullpen and went to his desk. Hopefully Blair would just leave him alone today. 

“Hey partner. That’s so great about meeting tomorrow night at Connor and Joel’s. We’re going to have so much fun aren’t we?” Blair asked bouncing on his heels. 

“Chief, I’m trying to get my work done,” Jim said quietly. 

Blair looked at the clock and saw that it was close enough to lunchtime. He knocked on Simon’s door and said, “Sir can I see you a moment?”

“He told you already, did he?”

“Told me what? A puzzled Blair asked. 

“The DA is going to press charges. Jim’s going to be suspended first thing in the morning,” Simon answered. 

“Why not just go out there and fucking shoot him in the head, Simon? Because that’s what he’ll do,” Blair was right on the verge of hysteria. 

“Sandburg, he needs you to be strong. Be a man,” Simon shouted and Blair jumped over the desk lunging for his throat. 

Jim came into the room and said, “Am I interrupting? Everyone in the bullpen is watching the two of you idiots.”

“Oh fuck you,” Blair said as he walked past Ellison, then turned around and said, “Captain Banks, I’m taking the fucking day off.” Then he stormed off. 

“What was that all about Simon?” Jim was hoping he didn’t tell Blair about the charges. 

“Why didn’t you tell your partner what was going on?”

“Oh fuck, you told him?” Jim started to leave and Simon caught his arm, “Jim, he’s really upset, so be patient with him.” Jim pulled his arm away from Simon and walked off. 

Connor opened her door to a very distraught Sandy. “Sandy, what’s wrong?”

Blair filled her in and how it was handled by Simon and Jim and she said, “They’re both freakin idiots. Sandy I feel sorry for you having to put up with them.”

“Well I won’t have to worry any more. I’m going to find me a new job,” 

“Sandy, you’re a cop. A fine cop,” Connor pulled him in for more hugging. 

“I can work there while Jim is suspended. Can you imagine how he’ll feel?”

“Well try not to think too much until after tomorrow night,” when she saw the confused look on his face she added, “remember, Sullivan’s Pub tomorrow at 7:00?”

“Okay, I promise. Well I better get back to work. Thanks for listening, Connor,” Blair kissed her cheek and then said, “Can I peek at Elli?”

Connor beamed and said, “Of course. You never need to ask, Sandy.”

The rest of the day was uneventful and once he got to the loft Blair started dinner. He was going to help Jim forget about things. They hadn’t had sex in a while. Jim had too much on his mind. Well tonight was the friggin night.

Jim walked through the door without his gun on and looking like a lost puppy. 

“Hey Jim,”

“Hey Chief,” Jim didn’t move after he hung his jacket up. Blair knew it was because he always took his gun off next. 

“Man, I could use a good Ellison hug and kiss right about now,” Blair snuggled up against him and waited. 

“Maybe later Chief. I have to clean up,” Jim walked to the bathroom briskly and didn’t see the look of hurt on Blair’s face. 

Blair called Simon’s office. “Banks,” came the shout. 

“Simon, what’s wrong with Jim?”

“Sandburg, don’t you two ever actually talk? IA and the DA were in and he was charged. They took his badge and his gun and informed him of all of the rights he’s lost as an officer. Sandburg, he was devastated. He stayed in my office for like an hour and I couldn’t get a hold of you. Where were you when your partner needed you?”

“Off throwing a tanty. I’m sorry sir, it won’t happen again. And I’ll take care of him now,” Blair hung up the phone and went to the bathroom door and listened. 

“Chief, I just want to be alone for a while,” Jim called out. 

As usual, he didn’t listen. He walked in and stripped and got in the shower with Jim. He wasn’t in there too long and Jim pulled him closer and began to shake. “Chief, I got charged with the murder of Morrison. I’m fucking scared to death,” 

Blair could feel him shaking harder than he’d ever felt. “Jim, I’m going to be by your side all the way. I’m taking a leave of absence and we’ll get through this. I love you, babe,” Blair pulled him closer yet, and began to kiss him. 

And it came as quite a surprise to both men, when they were both hard as a rock. “Fuck me now,” Blair begged. 

Jim did just that. He was so glad to finally have a boner that he had to bury it somewhere. 

That night in bed, they made love twice more. It was almost like Jim felt it might be the last times they’d be together. Blair was going to be certain that didn’t happen. They were not going to be separated. 

The next night everyone started showing up at Joel and Megan’s house. 

Rafe: Hi Joel, hi Connor. Where’s Elli?  
Joel: Well we see whom counts now don’t we? (Beaming with pride.)  
Connor: Come on in, Henry.   
Brown: Where is that baby?  
Connor: We have taken the back seat Joel. (Beaming with pride too.)  
Joel: Let me show you the way. 

Connor opened the door and found Simon, Sully, Dan and Sam standing there waiting to be asked in. 

“Come on in, everyone. Joel is showing Elli off to Brown and Rafe,” Connor laughed as she led them into the house. 

“What? We don’t get to see her?” Sully asked seriously. 

“You all know where the nursery is. Help yourself,” Connor sat down for moment and Dan sat next to her, patting her hand. 

“You look real tired, would you like a night out?” Dan asked. 

“Dan, I think that’s something you might want to talk to Sam about. Some people don’t love baby’s.”

“I meant me watch her. I don’t need anyone to help me. It would be nice is Sam came, but I actually do things without her.”

“It would be really nice, Dan. Thank you. How about this weekend?” Connor was getting more color as they spoke. 

“This weekend works for me. Now off to see that little darlin,” Dan couldn’t get back to the nursery fast enough. 

“Hey, there are too many people in here. It’s a fire hazard,” Dan said sternly. 

They all left the room but Sam and Dan. “Isn’t she the sweetest baby, Dan?”

“Well I don’t know. I’m sure some day I’m going to think one of mine would be the sweetest,” Dan laughed at the look on her face. 

She moved up against him and asked, “So you wouldn’t mind having a family?”

“No, of course not,” Dan answered and kissed her. “Oh before I forget I’m watching Elli this weekend, would you like to hang out with the two of us?”

“I would love to, thanks,” she kissed Dan and moved off down the hallway. 

Jim and Blair arrived and everyone laughed because Jim didn’t say a word to anyone, he went right down the hallway to the baby’s room. 

“Connor, I think he might like that baby a little bit, what do you think?” Sully asked. 

“He adores her. And Joel and I said it’s the weirdest thing, if he doesn’t come for a few days, she’s fussier. She loves him to pieces.”

Jim stood at the beginning of the hallway and made a psssing sound and Blair said, “What?”

“You have to come see her. Come on,” and Jim was down the hallway again. 

The laughter broke out again and Blair got up and said, “Hey, he’s still tough.”

“Tough love, Sandburg. Tough love,” Brown said laughing. 

Blair walked into the nursery and said, “I just saw her yesterday. Is she like talking?”

Jim looked at his lover and asked, “You don’t like her?”

“Of course I like her, you idiot,” and having said that he walked out of the room. But Jim was fast. “Tell me what’s wrong. Do I pay too much attention to her?”

“Jim, do you remember when we discussed adoption? Do you remember all of that?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You said you didn’t want to because you wouldn’t make a good father. You really didn’t even like kids all that much,” Blair said sadly. 

“Well shit, I didn’t know anyone with a baby then,” Jim tried to hug him. 

“Well it’s too late now anyhow,” 

“Why?” Jim asked scared to death. 

“Because everyone is going to remember this shit now about you being charged with a crime. They would never give us a child,” Blair let Jim hold him this time. 

“I’m sorry that I fucked up our chances,” and Jim walked down the hall. 

“It’s about time, we’re getting ready to start. Want a beer Jim?” Connor asked. 

“Thanks, that would be good,” 

Blair walked and said, “Jim come here.”

“Nah, later, Blair. We’re getting ready to start,” Jim took the beer offered to him and took a long swig. 

“Everyone… Thank you so much for coming over tonight. We’re thrilled to see you and have you here. Now we might have to take a break every now and then when Elli wakes up. But other than that, we’re all yours,” Connor was so hyped up she was humming. 

Connor: This survey is Great Answers to that stupid question: Why aren’t you married yet?  
Tell me who sounds like what answer and why. Ready?  
Everyone: Ready. 

Connor: You haven't asked yet.

Simon: Okay, before everyone jumps on me, I know this one’s me. I’m sorry Sully.   
Sully: Why are you sorry. We’re happy, right?   
Simon: So you don’t want to get married?  
Sully: I didn’t say that. And you did ask me to marry you. We just haven’t done it yet.   
Blair: I’m still waiting.   
Jim: Might be a lot of years, Chief.   
Blair: Oh fuck you.   
Brown: Wow, this is a worlds record. We’re only on the first question. Whoa.   
Rafe: Want me to hold him down, Hairboy? You could kick his ass.   
Jim: You get into holding people down now, Rafe?  
Brown: Jesus, we’re joking Ellison. Get a grip.   
Simon: Jim, calm down.   
Dan: I would love to be married.   
Sam: You would?  
Jim: Well maybe you could ask Sandburg.   
Blair: Fuck you, Jim. (getting up he went over and slugged Jim in the arm really hard.)  
Simon: Feel better now?  
Blair: Yes, I do.   
Dan: Hey Sandburg, I don’t want to marry you. But there is someone else I’d like to marry.   
Jim: Who?  
(Everyone threw popcorn at Ellison’s head when he asked it.)   
Sam: Are you proposing?  
Dan: Yes, I am.   
Sam: Hot damn. Yes, I’ll marry you.   
Dan: (Kissing Sam passionately) Sorry everyone.   
Connor: I love weddings and engagements.   
Joel: I love all of our friends. 

Connor: I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

Jim: Chief, look another one I fucked up.   
Simon: Jim, how many beers have you had?  
Connor: He’s only had one, sir.   
Blair: I drove, he had some before we came.   
Connor: So does this saying remind you of any one? And Jim, just shut up.   
Jim: Fuck you Connor. I can say whatever I want.  
Joel: Jim, don’t talk to her like that again.   
Simon: Does it count that once I thought about this while I was married?   
Blair: (Laughing) You wished you would have?   
Simon: Exactly. But then I realize I did do something meaningful. I had Daryl.   
Sully: And he’s such a good boy.   
Blair: Yes, he is.   
Brown: This saying doesn’t remind me of anyone.   
Rafe: Me either.   
Dan: I would think it would the opposite. Marrying Sam would make my life meaningful.   
Sam: God, he’s so friggin romantic. I love you, Dan. (Kissing and everyone looking away.)

 

Connor: Because I just love hearing this question.

Blair: Okay, this one sounds like Jim.   
Jim: Fuck you…  
Blair: Later, babe.   
Brown: It does sound like Jim.   
Jim: Why?   
Brown: Because you’re obnoxious a lot.   
Rafe: Don’t you be giving him dirty looks Ellison. You don’t fucking scare me.   
Joel: I don’t really see this answer reminding me of anyone.   
Dan: Me either.   
Sully: I think it reminds me of Jim and Simon.   
Jim: Why the fuck are we always put in the same questions. Simon, does this remind you of me or you?   
Simon: It reminds me of you.   
Sam: I realize that I’ve only been in the family for going on six weeks, but I think this one reminds me of Jim too.   
Jim: (very, very angry) And why would I care what a fucking whore thinks of me?  
Dan got up and pulled Jim out of his chair and punched him right in the face. Jim went down fast and hard. 

“Get up, Ellison. I know I didn’t hurt you that much. Get the fuck up,” Dan stood there waiting. 

Jim got up and every saw the bloody nose. Dan went to hit him again and he noticed Jim didn’t even try and defend himself. “You’re not fucking worth it. You’re a piece of shit, Ellison. God, to think I thought you were my friend,” Dan walked out the front door and started pacing in the yard. 

Sam walked up to Jim and said, “I don’t like you hurting the man I love. Jim if you don’t like me that’s fine. But tell him you’re sorry. Please don’t do this. He loves you.” She wiped the blood off Jim’s face and Jim pulled away. 

He walked down the hallway and went into the bathroom and slid down the wall and just stayed there for a while. The door opened and Connor walked in. // You moron, you forgot to lock the door. //

“You wanna fill me in on this?” Connor slid down the wall and sat next to him. 

“I don’t like her,”

“Yes, you do. Try another lie,” Connor was watching him and saw something she didn’t think she’d ever seen in her life. “Jim, what is scaring you?”

“I’m not afraid of anything,”

“OH must be nice. I’m afraid that Joel will leave me some day when he realizes I’m a little too weird. I’m afraid that God will take that baby that he gave to us, as if she was a loaner. I’m afraid that my best bud might go to prison. So as you see, I worry a lot and am afraid a lot,”

Jim looked over at Connor and laid his head on her shoulder. “Connor, I’m afraid of losing all of you. Not just one person but all of you,”

“I’ll be right back Jim. Okay. Oh wait, do you really hate Sam?”

“No, I like Sam a lot. I’ll tell her how sorry I am later,” Jim said closing his eyes for a little rest. 

Megan walked out of the bathroom and walked out the front door. “Dan, Jim wants to talk to you. But you have to promise you won’t hit him again,”

“That won’t be hard. My hand hurts. I’m not big on the physical stuff. Where is he?”

“He’s in the bathroom. Be kind. This is the worst day of his life,” Connor kissed his cheek. 

Jim was sleeping up against the wall when he felt some sit next to him. “Connor?” he mumbled 

“Guess again,” Dan said softly. 

Jim jerked away from him and tried to get up off the floor. “Jim, we’re not going to keep doing this. Now tell me what’s wrong. You told me you like Sam. Were you lying?”

“No, I love Sam,” Jim said sadly. 

“We have to work on your self-destructive attitude,” Dan pulled Jim closer and they just sat there side by side with Dan’s arm around him. 

Simon, Rafe, Taggert and Brown stood in the doorway of the bathroom and Taggert finally said, “Guys let take this out of the bathroom. It’s not big enough for all of us.”

Dan helped Jim get up and they all walked out to the living room. Dan pushed Jim into a spot on the sofa next to Blair. And Dan got on the other side. Megan walked out with Elli and said, “Jim, want to feed her?”

“Sure,” he took her and held her so close and smelled her scent as if it would be the last time. Because, after all, it was going to be the last time. As he fed her she held his finger and kept squeezing it and everyone watched as Jim started losing his control. He took the bottle out and began to burp her and he started to cry. No noise came from his being, just silent tears. 

“Jim, why are you crying babe?” Blair asked on the verge of panic. 

“It’s the last time I’m going to see her,” Jim finally got out. 

“What are you talking about?” Blair asked. 

Connor stood in front of Jim and said, “Jim, come put her down for me, please?”

Jim got up from the sofa and took Elli down the hall to the nursery. Once he laid her down he turned around and had Megan in his arms. 

“Jim, tell me what’s wrong,” 

“My lawyer has been offered a deal. Two years in prison instead of 15. He’s advising me to take it,” Jim wiped at the stupid tears on his face. // I hate being a fucking wuss. //

Megan grabbed his hand and said, “Attention everyone. Jim wanted to tell you about the deal they offered him.”

“What deal?” Simon snarled. 

Jim actually backed up when Simon did it and that made Simon feel worse. “Sorry Jim, tell us about the deal.”

“Two years at the Pen, instead of 15. My lawyer has advised me to take the deal. Said I wouldn’t be assured of a better outcome. He wanted to make the best deal so that my Dad wouldn’t worry,” Jim looked around to gauge how everyone took it. 

“Jim, you don’t have to take the deal. Go for it,” Brown said. 

“Well fuck, didn’t you see Tango and Cash? They decided to try and fight the system and they got royally fucked.”

“So you’re like basing a life decision on a Kurt Russell and Sly Stone movie?” Blair asked sarcastically. 

“Laugh all you want, Chief. But it’s true. I might not get a better deal and I couldn’t make it for 15 years. I might be able to handle two.”

“Laughing? Do you see any of us laughing? I don’t think so. Sam, did you say that you knew a great lawyer?” Blair asked.

“You could say that,” Sam beamed. 

“Oh shit, you’re an attorney? Why did we all think you’re a writer and teacher?” Simon asked. 

“Because I am. I teach law and I write law books. Jim, I could look everything over and advise you. Would you mind?” Sam look at Jim and watched the man start to crumble again. 

He laid his face in his hands and just stayed that way. 

“Babe, we’re going to have her look everything over. Okay?” Blair asked as he kissed Jim’s ear. 

Jim shook his head in the affirmative and they all knew they were getting somewhere. 

“Dan, I’m going to take Jim with me, and you go with Blair. I have to have some serious talks with Jim. So, we’ll meet you back at the loft later. You all finish this survey and let us do our thing. Goodnight everyone,” And Sam headed out the door. 

Blair kissed Jim as he was walking out the door. But Jim didn’t really kiss him back. 

They all sat down in the living room and Connor said, “Let’s get our minds off of this. I’ll finish the stupid things and then maybe we’ll insult each other and laugh.”

“Sounds good to me, Connor,” Simon added. 

 

Connor: Back to the Some Great Answers to That Stupid Question: "Why aren't you married yet?"

Just lucky, I guess.

Blair: I would be so happy if he asked me to marry him. I would never say that.   
Simon: Have you told him you want to be committed?   
Sully: Honey, I don’t think he’s that weird.   
Simon: Oh shut up. (everyone laughs.)  
Blair: No, I’ve never told him.   
Connor: Now might be the time.   
Joel: Why?  
Connor: I’ve seen that look before and it’s not a good look. He didn’t say he wouldn’t see Elli for two years, he said, this will be the last time I see her.   
Blair: Oh fuck.   
Simon: Oh double fuck.   
Dan: We’d better put him on suicide watch.   
Joel: Simon what would you do if it was you?  
Simon: Probably do the same thing I guess.   
Joel: How about you, Dan?  
Dan: I don’t know. I deal in so much death, that it’s hard for me to focus on it. I mean, for myself.   
Joel: Blair what would you do?  
Blair: I would just die without him.   
Sully: Wait, you all are thinking the worst thing. You have no idea what a good lawyer my sis is. Let her have a go at it first.   
Connor: Okay, we’ll move on. 

 

Connor: My fiancé is awaiting his/her parole.

Blair: (Chokes on his beer.) Well, actually this one would be true, eh? (Jumps up and rushes down the hallway.)

Sully: Connor, what were you thinking?   
Connor: I don’t know.   
Joel: Calm down. We can’t all walk around watching every thing we say from now on. I’ll go check on Blair. 

He walked down the hall and realized he wasn’t in the bathroom or the nursery. He looked into his own bedroom and Blair was crying quietly on their bed. HE walked away and left Blair some privacy. 

“Where’s Sandy?” Connor asked. 

“He’s resting. Leave him be for right now,” Joel sat back down and took a drink of his beer that really wasn’t all that cold anymore. 

Connor got up and said, “I’ll be back in a flash.”

When she got to their room she climbed on the bed with him and said, “Come here. I’ll hold you.”

Blair gladly went into her arms and just held on tight. Joel watched from the doorway and knew he was going to have his hands full with a hurting Blair and new baby. He walked into the kitchen and called the loft. 

“Ellison.”

“Jim? Are you still drunk or can we talk?”

“Hey Joel. I’ve had about four pots of coffee and I’m doing pretty good, why?”

“Because your better half is over here falling apart,”

“I’ll be there in about ten minutes, Joel. Thanks.”

Jim was done with Sam and ready to move on. To where, was another question? 

Joel walked away and realized that that might have been the best idea, but Blair needed to be with Jim. And damn it, he needed to be with his wife. 

“How’s Blair doing?” Sully asked. 

“He’s probably sleeping. On my side of the bed,” Joel said smiling. 

“Don’t worry Joel, I’ll take him home when I leave. In fact, we might be ready now. Let me go and get Sandburg,” Simon stood up to collect his charge and leave. 

“Jim’s on his way over,” Joel said. 

“I didn’t hear the phone ring,” Simon said skeptically. 

“That’s because I called him. I think Blair needs him. Jim thought so too. He’s had four pots of coffee and he sounded a lot better,” Joel hoped he sounded upbeat.

“Let’s wait Simon so we can hear what he has to say, all right?” Sully asked. 

“I agree with Sully,” Dan said. 

Sully got up and walked into Connor and Joel’s bedroom. She smiled when she saw the two sleeping people on the bed. She sat on the edge and rubbed Blair’s back. 

“Hey, time to go?” Blair asked. 

“No, but Jim’s on his way over and I thought you might want to be awake when he gets here.” 

“Thank you. I’ll be out in a few minutes. Thanks, Sully,” 

There was a knock at the front door as she came down the hallway and she opened it for Joel. “Hi Jim. Come on it.”

“Hey Sully,” Jim leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek. 

“Hey Jim, did you get anything figured out?” Simon asked. 

“She’s going to take the case. She said that she’ll go over everything and make sure that I’m not hurt. She gave me some hope,” Jim said. “Where’s Blair?”

“I’m right here,” he said as he went into Jim’s arms. “Jim, I need you to go into Joel’s bedroom and tell Connor that you’re going to be around for Elli. She’s heartbroken.”

“Excuse me everyone, I’ll be right back,” Jim walked down and knew exactly where she was. He smiled at the sleeping form before him. // She looks so sweet when she’s sleeping. //

He laid on the bed and pulled her into his arms and started to talk to her. “Megan, I can’t stand the idea of being caged up with other men for two years, But it’s not going to control my life anymore. I don’t want to leave Elli. She is the most precious thing in his life. I promise to try and control these feelings I’ve been having, all right?”

“I can live with that Jim. I can’t live without you. I love you and you know it.”

“Go back to sleep. I’m taking Blair home now,” Jim started to get up and she stopped him, “Promise you won’t hurt him?”

“I promise, Megan,” he got up and walked out of the room, stopping in the nursery to kiss his darling angel goodbye. 

“Ready to go, Chief?” 

“More than ready,” Blair gave everyone hugs goodbye and both men walked out the door. 

“Are we okay, Chief?”

“Yeah, we’re okay. I won’t be okay if you leave me,” Blair added sadly. 

“I’m trying babe. Know that I’m not going to leave you on purpose,” Jim pulled Blair over next to him. 

“Jim will you make love to me tonight?”

“Yeah, Chief. I can do that.”

Both men stared ahead through the windshield knowing that their lives were about to be disrupted. They might be scared, but they were going to work this out if it killed both of them. 

Jim looked over at the serious Blair and whispered, “I love you so much, it makes my heart hurt sometimes.”

Jim pulled into the parking lot and Blair pulled him away from the steering wheel. Blair opened up Jim’s jeans and took out his cock. “Blair, lets go upstairs. A cop might come by,” Jim was trying to get control of his hard dick and Blair answered, ‘What are they going to do, arrest us?”

“You’re right, fuck them. Fuck me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Blair held on tight as Jim was losing control. Blair put Jim’s cock back into his jeans and helped him get out of the truck. 

“Come on, I’ll show you what love is once we’re upstairs.” Blair led the way and Jim hoped that they would be together for a long time. But with life you never know. 

End Sulllivan’s Pub 13


	14. Trials and Tribulation’s

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 14  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 08/21/02  
Category: Drama, 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here? I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I'm going to start on Part 15 soon. I’m going to try and get the fun stuff back on track. 

Story Notes: Sullivan's Pub Part 14 If anyone needs the other   
ones, let me know. My page only goes to Part 7 because Tripod won't let me upload anything anymore. Don't even get me started or this will be longer than the damn story. 

Summary: Jim has a new lawyer working on his case. Will Sam be able to get keep him out of jail? 

Warnings: m/m, angst/angst/and more angst

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Sullivan’s Pub 14  
Trials and Tribulation’s  
Patt

 

Last week at Sullivan’s Pub 13:

Jim looked over at the serious Blair and whispered, "I love you so much it makes my heart hurt sometimes."

Jim pulled into the parking lot and Blair pulled him away from the steering wheel. Blair opened up Jim's jeans and took out his cock. "Blair, let's go upstairs. A cop might come by." Jim was trying to get control of his hard dick and Blair answered, 'What are they going to do, arrest us?"

"You're right, fuck them. Fuck me. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Blair held on tight as Jim was losing control. Blair put Jim's cock back into his jeans and helped him get out of the truck. 

"Come on, I'll show you what love is once we're upstairs." Blair led the way and Jim hoped that they would be together for a long time but with life you never know. 

End Sullivan's Pub 13 

 

Jim was sleeping soundly when Blair heard the knock on the door. He didn’t want to wake Jim up, so he hurried down the stairs putting his jeans on and zipping up. 

He opened up the door and saw two cops standing there. “We’re here to arrest Detective Jim Ellison for the murder of Captain Morrison. Could you please call him to the door?” Officer Stewart asked. 

“Let me just go get him,” Blair turned around and Officer Connelly said, “No, call him from here.”

“Jim? Jim, buddy wake up. There are some officers to see you,” Blair said, “He’s really tired and I gave him something to help him sleep. Let me just go up and wake him up.”

“No, I’ll go up and get him,” Connelly started up the stairs and once he got up there all Blair could hear was Jim. “Get the fuck out of my room,” 

“Detective Ellison we have to take you down and book you on the suspicion of murder of Captain Morrison. Don’t make this harder than it is,” Connelly said quietly. 

“Do you mind if I get up and get some clothes on?” Jim growled. 

“Fine, but I’m staying right here,” Connelly stood his ground. 

Jim finally saw he had no choice so he climbed out of bed, in the nude and began getting dressed. Jim wasn’t even thinking and went for his wallet on the dresser and Connelly freaked out and said, “Freeze. Don’t move,”

Connelly came closer and saw that it was only a wallet and he said, “You may as well leave it here, Ellison. It’ll end up in lock up anyhow,”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Jim got his shoes on and walked down the stairs. Blair had a brush for his hair and Jim ran it through his thinning hair, in hopes that he didn’t look as bad as he felt. 

To the naked eye, Jim looked calm and very cold. But to the trained eye of his lover, he looked scared to death and far from calm. 

“Ellison, I’ll get a hold of Sam for you and she’ll meet you there,” Blair tried to keep it impersonal so that it wouldn’t upset Jim so badly. // Like that’s possible. // 

“Thanks Sandburg. I’m ready,” Jim said to the officers. 

“Wow, this has been one of the easiest arrests we ever made,” Stewart said teasing his partner. 

“Would you like me to put up a fight, Stewart?” Jim asked as he walked through the door. 

“He’s a teasing guy. He’s such a character,” Blair said before he shut the door and ran for the telephone. “Sam, they arrested Jim.”

Blair jumped in the shower and got ready to rumble. He was hoping that he could bring Jim back today. “ Please, please, please don’t make him stay in the jailhouse.”

When Blair walked in, Simon was there and so was everyone else. “Why is everyone here?” Blair asked. 

“Because the DA has announced that they’re going to charge Jim and ask the judge to keep him in jail until the trial,” Simon said. 

“Oh shit…” Blair whispered, “Simon do we have anyone that can keep an eye on him down in lockup?”

“We’re all taking a different night. Want one?” Simon said with a smile. 

“Yes, you know it,” Blair replied and then thanked everyone for being there for him. 

“Well for right now, he’s going to be questioned and taken to the court house to see the judge. Oh here’s Sam, let’s see what she has to say,” they all waited for her to get there before they attacked her with questions. 

“We have some new evidence from Dan. And it’s important. It’s not Jim’s prints that were on it,” Sam smiled while telling them. 

“Who?” Simon finally asked. 

“It was the murder weapon that no one had been able to find and Morison’s wife had her prints all over it along with Morison’s belt, front and back. She had a better reason than Jim. The murder weapon was in his anus. Seems right for the ugliness he was putting people through. 

So we’re going to bring this up to the judge today and then we’re going to file a suit against the city for the charges being brought when they had no evidence to hold him with,” everyone could tell Sam was very angry. 

Dan walked down the hall and said, “They’re taking him to court, Sam.” 

“This is what I mean, Simon. You don’t take someone’s client to court without notice and making sure they know. They’ve been assholes since the start. I have to go. See you later,” Sam went running off, stopping only to give Dan a quick kiss, and then was running again. 

“I don’t know about anyone else, but suddenly I feel sorry for the judge and the DA,” Blair laughed softly, feeling better than he had in a long time. 

In the cell:

“So you’re the big cop that we’ve heard so much about,” a huge prisoner said. 

“Why would you hear that about me? I’m no one. Unless you killed someone I probably wouldn’t have ever met you,” Jim was staying completely calm. 

“Guys, do any of you know him?” he called to the other six men in the holding cell. 

“I know him. He sent me up twice,” Jim recognized him as a pimp named Cyrus. 

“Cyrus, that’s not my fault. I was doing my job and you were doing yours,” Jim stood tall with his hands across his chest. 

“I think I know him. I think he fucked my Mom after he questioned me once,” a young kid was talking that Jim had never seen before. 

“I’ve never seen you before,” 

“That’s because you were too busy thinking about my Mom. You raped her you fucking pig,” He jumped on Jim and Jim shoved him aside easily. But before he knew it they were all on him. He was holding his own, but he wouldn’t be able to do it for too long. 

The cop that was on guard watched to be sure no one killed Ellison, but didn’t want to interfere with routine. 

Sam walked in with a coat, shirt, pants and tie for Jim. “Officer, would you like to explain this?”

The cop jumped up and said, “Get away from him right now. Come on Ellison, time to get ready for court,” He opened the door and got Ellison out with little trouble. 

Jim limped his way to the room for changing and Sam slammed the door shut. “Jim are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Believe me, I’ll have to deal with worse than this in prison,” Jim started to wash his face, hair and chest. 

“You’re not going. Dan found evidence and it’s going to be admitted today. It was his wife,” Sam smiled at the confused look on Jim’s face. 

She went over and started to clean him up more so he would look respectable. 

“Tell me about it,” Jim stood looking at her, hoping for some good news for real. 

“While Dan was doing the Autopsy, he saw a slight tear in the anus and he went in and found the murder weapon wrapped in a towel. They’re looking right now to see if the towels are from her house. But the weapon will be admitted in the court case right now. And she has no alibi either. First of all, you can’t arrest someone just because they have no alibi.”

“But they said it had to be a big person and I was the largest I guess,” Jim said quietly. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to get excited or not. 

“She’s a huge woman Jim and I don’t mean fat. She’s what some men call Xena,” Sam tried not to laugh. 

“Sam, you’re sure that they’ll let me out of here?” Jim almost pleaded with his eyes. 

“Jim, if they don’t, we’ll have more to come back at them with. And I have a question. Why didn’t you punch that guy out upstairs for letting those fuckers beat on you?” Sam was very angry. 

“I’ll talk to you about that later, okay. Sam can I have a hug?”

She moved into his arms and felt the tension loosen right away. There was a knock on the door and Jim tensed up again. 

“Hang on Jim,” Sam went and opened the door. Dan walked in and gave Jim a brief hug and said, “We need to get him over there now. The judge wants to know where he is.”

“Shit…” Jim said as he almost ran out the door. 

When they walked into the courtroom, Jim sat next to Sam and the Judge looked very upset. Sam stood and said, “Your honor, could we please approach the bench?”

The judge said yes and the two lawyer’s went up to see what the judge would say. 

“Your Honor, first thing I want to address is no one let me know there was a court hearing. I’ve never been late to a case yet. But of course the only reason I knew is because someone in Major Crime told me. I had to go and get Mr. Ellison’s clothing and then help him get cleaned up after the beating. It took some time out of our morning routine.” Sam was pissed and the judge knew. 

“Ms. Sullivan, would you like to explain what beating you’re talking about?” Judge Harrison asked. 

“When I arrived to pick him up and get him in his clothing, the guard on duty was letting five of more men beat the crap out of him. If you need to see, most of the bruises are below the neckline. I was very angry, but I knew we had to come to court, so there isn’t much I could do about Officer Hanson,” Sam hoped she was describing things well enough. 

“Before we go any further, we’re going to my chambers and take pictures of Mr. Ellison’s damage,” Harrison said as he pushed his bailiff towards the people that would have to stay. 

“We’ll take Mr. Ellison, Ms. Sullivan and Mr. Dryer into the room. That’s all we need. OH we need to have Henry bring in the camera and take the pictures. Are you all right, Mr. Ellison?” Judge Harrison asked as they got into his chambers and shut and locked the door. 

“I’m fine,” Jim said as he started to take his clothes off. The jacket and tie came first followed by his shirt. The Judge was shocked at the bruises and cuts. 

“Henry, I need you to start taking those pictures of Mr. Ellison. ON the back put Ellison/Hanson.”

“Yes sir,” Henry started taking pictures. 

Jim took his pants off and stood there for that and Sam noticed he was moving oddly. 

“Excuse me a moment, Judge Harrison. I need to speak with my client,” Sam walked over and whispered, “Jim let me see the damage he did to your dick. Right now. I don’t care how embarrassing it is, we have to do this.” 

Jim red-faced pulled his boxers off and again, the Judge gasped when he saw the amount of damage and swelling on Jim’s penis. Henry took many pictures of that and then the Judge asked, “Could you turn around for us?”

Jim turned around and he was solid black and blue from his waist to the beginning of his thighs. When they were done Jim was told to put his clothing back on. As Jim dressed Sam looked over at the judge and could tell someone was in trouble and it wasn’t Mr. Ellison. 

Once he was all dressed, they all walked back into the courtroom and sat down. 

“Mr. Dryer could you tell me what evidence you had to arrest and charge Detective Ellison,” Judge Harrison was very angry. 

“Yes, sir. He had threatened him at work in front of others,” Mr. Dryer said. 

“That’s it?” Judge Harrison asked appalled. 

“Well he couldn’t give us a supported alibi, so we decided he was our best bet,” The idiot continued to talk, pissing Judge Harrison off more and more. 

“So, if I had gotten angry at him, and I didn’t have anyone with me when he was killed, you would have arrested me also?” Harrison was daring him for an answer. 

“Well sir, you’re a Judge,” Dreyer said. 

“There was no reason for him to be in jail, let alone arrested. I read though the records this morning, and this is the shabbiest job I’ve ever seen. And don’t think it won’t be written up by me also,” Harrison finally finished that part. 

“Your Honor? He had a grudge against the man and he’s been known to hit people,” Dreyer added. 

“Now tell me, has he killed anyone before?”

“Not to our knowledge. But he was in the Rangers and he could have easily killed this man,” Dreyer said. 

“Ms. Sullivan, did you say you have some new evidence for me?”

“Objection,” Dreyer screamed out. 

“Overruled,” Harrison shouted back. 

Sam walked up and handed him the package that had the knife and the towel in it. Along with it, was the paperwork, saying what it was and who’s prints were on it. Dan had gotten it all set for the courts. It was all in plastic, so that no one would contaminate it. 

“Mr. Dreyer, you might want to take a look at where they found the knife and who’s prints were on it,” Judge Harrison invited him up with his hands. 

“So what? It was her knife, of course the prints will be hers. But don’t you think it odd that it was up his anus? That sounds more like someone he had been trying to fuck,” Dreyer said savagely. 

“One more outburst and you will find yourself in the same cell as Ellison was. Detective Ellison, could you take the stand?” Harrison asked. 

“Jim moved very slowly as he walked up there and sat down. The balif came up and said, “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

“I do,” Jim answered. 

“I have some questions to ask you before I let you go,” Harrison asked. 

“Yes, sir,” Jim answered. 

“Did you at any time, plan to kill Captain Morrison?” Harrison asked first thing. 

“Sir, I never planned it, but believe me when I saw what he did to my partner, I thought about it,” Jim said quietly. 

“But you didn’t execute a real plan?” the Judge kept on. 

“No sir, never,” Jim answered. 

“In your line of work, have you ever seen the amount of damage done to a person with a knife, done by a woman?”

“Yes sir, about four years ago, there is a case. I think her name was Sandra something, I can’t remember. But she killed her husband and tried to make it look like his male lover,” Jim finished. 

“Detective Ellison how did it feel today to be arrested and thrown in with thugs?” Harrison was still on a roll. 

“It was probably the worst day of my life. There was nothing I could do and the cop on guard was laughing. He thought I killed another cop, so let the thugs kill me. I was scared. I can take care of myself, but not when there are that many of them to deal with,” Jim was looking very anxious. 

“Detective, is something wrong?” Harrison asked, notably worried. 

“Yes sir. Remember the pictures you took and you were shocked when you saw the one area? Well the pain is unbearable. Something’s wrong,” Jim stood up and passed out. 

“Court will be adjourned after Detective Ellison is taken to a hospital. Please call for an ambulance now,” Harrison saw Simon, Henry, Rafe, Connor, Sandburg, Dan Wolf and Ms. Sullivan all kneeling around him. 

The EMT’s came and took Jim away and he asked Major Crime to stay in the courtroom until it was dismissed. 

“As of today, this will be a new case. Someone new will be assigned to it and Detective Ellison will not be bothered ever again. There was no evidence at all to hold him in a cell. So I hope that he’ll bring charges against the City and the State. He’s free and clear of all charges and Captain Morrissons wife will be questioned as soon as possible. This court is adjourned,” Judge Harrison brought his gavel down and knocked it three times to get everyone’s attention. 

“Detective Sandburg, could I please see you in my chambers?” Harrison walked into his chambers and Blair followed. 

“Sir?” Blair asked looking at the floor. 

“Detective, you’ve done nothing. I just wanted to tell you how important it is for Ellison to bring charges. They do this too often. I’m not going to say any more. But I don’t want them getting away with it again. Now go and both of you be well,” Harrison stuck his hand out for Blair to shake. 

“Thank you, sir. You’re a life saver,” Blair got misty eyed while he was shaking his hand. 

“I believe you might be right and I find that very frightening. Off you go. He needs you by his side,” Harrison held the door open and saw all of their friends waiting on Blair. // Popular bunch. //

Blair practically ran out of the courtroom with everyone following. Sully ran into them on the stairs and said, “Am I too late?”

“Come one with us, we’ll fill you in on the way,” Simon said hugging her quickly. 

Blair had Jim’s truck, so Sam and Dan rode with him. Everyone else went with Simon. Blair put the flashing light on top of the truck and hauled ass all the way over there. Then he parked in a handicap parking space. 

“Blair,” Sam called out. 

“I have to get up there,” Blair looked really scared. 

“Throw me the keys and I’ll move the truck,” Sam hollered and caught said keys as Blair threw them at her.

Blair rushed in and found out where Jim was. “He’s on Medical floor, room 232,” Nurse Radley said and Blair must be hysterical, because he wanted to say, “Boo”. 

Blair couldn’t wait for the elevators, so he took the stairs. It was only the second floor after all. He ran the entire way, stopping every now and then to get a little more breath. 

Once he was on the second floor, the elevator opened and out walked the gang. “Damn it,” Blair said rushing down the hallway. He had wanted to get the first visit alone. 

There was a doctor outside Jim’s room writing in a chart. “Are you Jim Ellison’s doctor?” Blair asked.

“Yes, I’m Doctor Keys, and you’re?”

“I’m Blair Sandburg. I’m his partner and should be in his records,” Blair kept his voice low. 

“Oh yeah, I knew all about you. He told me. Come to my office and I’ll fill you in on your partner. He won’t be awake for a few hours yet,” Doctor Keys led Blair into a Doctor’s Lounge. 

“So what’s up?”

“We had to do some surgery. They hurt him pretty badly and twisted his testes to the point where we had to untangle things. He’s going to be hurting pretty much for a while. There won’t be any sex for awhile,” Doctor Keys turned red while he said this, making Blair smile. 

“I wouldn’t think of it sir. Anything else?” Blair hoped that there would be nothing else. 

“Well that was all, he can go home tomorrow. No sex for at least two weeks. Put it this way, no sex for him for two weeks,” the doctor smiled as he walked out the door ahead of Blair. 

When Sandburg got to Jim’s room Simon said, “Thank god. He woke up and he’s really upset. He keeps trying to have me look at his balls.” 

Laughing Blair walked into the room and Jim said, “Chief, they did something to my balls,”

“Yes, baby they did,” Blair sat on the bed next to Jim and started to talk low to him and rub his face softly. 

Everyone in the room watched as Jim settled right down. “Chief, why did they do that?”

“Those guys that hurt you? Well, they got your balls twisted up more or less. And they had to go and untwist them. You get to go home tomorrow,” Blair kissed him. 

“I want to go home right now, okay?” Jim begged. 

“No, Jim. We have to stay till tomorrow. I’ll stay with you,” Blair continued to rub Jim’s face tenderly. 

Before long Jim was sound to sleep and Everyone pulled Blair out into the hallway. 

“What do you mean they had to do surgery? From when they arrested him and had him in that cell?” Simon was absolutely stunned. 

“Yes sir. The Judge said the damage was terrible, I think Sam knows,” Blair looked over at Sam. 

“It’s very private and I won’t tell anything he doesn’t want me to. So until he tells me to tell you something, you’re not hearing anything from me,” Sam was rambling and Dan kissed her to stop her. 

“So we need to arrest that cop, Hanson from the cells and also arrest all of the men that were in the cell with Jim. We need to do it now,” Simon said angrily. Who wants to go with me?”

“We’ll all go, sir,” Rafe walked over and gave Blair a little hug. “Tell the big man that we’ll see him tomorrow at the loft, he’s cooking.”

“You sure you’re all right up here, Sandburg?” Brown asked as he gave him a pat on the head. 

“Yeah, Henry, I’m all right,” Blair smiled at him. // They’re so damn cute when they’re worried about Jim. I must tell him. //

“I’ve got work to do on the latest Autopsy. See you tomorrow, Sandburg,” Dan kissed Sam goodbye and walked with the other guys. 

“Want me to stay with you both, Sam?” Sully asked. 

“No babe, go home with Simon. Or wherever he’s going. I can’t leave Jim now. I’m his lawyer,” Sam hugged her and pushed her on her way. 

Sam and Blair stood and waved to the friends at the elevator. “Smile Sam, they’re having second thoughts,” Blair said almost laughing. 

Both Sam and Blair smiled up a storm and it got them all on the elevator. “Okay, ready?” Sam asked as she hugged Blair. 

“Yup, I’m ready.”

She pulled her chair over to the other said and sat next to Blair. Then she held his hand. 

“Have I mentioned lately how much we worship you? You came into our lives when it was the darkest. I think I was going to lose him. But you saved us. You saved him. I’ll never be able to repay that act.”

“Oh Blair, I would have done the same thing for any friend. It’s not like you were special, just my friends. So please don’t feel like you owe me anything. I love you guys so much,” Sam leaned in and gave Blair a kiss. 

“How would you like to seize that case for Jim now?” Blair asked. 

“Oh I was counting on it, Blair. I figure you two won’t have a care in the world for a long time, money wise.”

The two friends sat together and watched Jim sleep. When he would wake up in pain they would tell him stories until he went back to sleep. Before long it was morning. 

The doctor came in and took out the catheter and both Blair and Sam could hear his scream from the hallway. Blair walked in and said, “Hey buddy. Come on focus on me. What did I use in my hair this morning?” Blair asked as he put his hair in front of Jim’s face. 

The doctor thought it odd, but Jim had stopped screaming and took his hands away from his own. He heard Jim say, “If I didn’t know it better I’d say you used the soap from the restroom in the hospital.” 

The doctor pulled the catheter the rest of the way out and saw Jim flinch, but no more screaming. 

“That’s what I used man. You’re good,” Blair dipped down and kissed his love. 

“Okay, you’re all set to go as soon as you urinate in the bathroom for me,” Doctor Keys said. 

“I don’t have to go right now,” Jim was using the defiant voice.

“Well Jim, until you take a piss, you’re not leaving,” and the doctor walked out of the room. 

“Chief, go in there and piss for me,” Jim begged with the best of them. 

“You’re will have blood in it, you doofus. Now go in there and try,” Blair helped him out of bed. 

“Hi Jim,” Sam said as she walked in. 

“Sam, could you do me a favor?” Jim started to ask and Blair said, “Move it, buster.”

“You’re always pushing me around. I hate that,” Jim walked into the bathroom and just stood in front of the toilet. 

Blair walked in and put the urine catcher on the toilet and said, I’m going to run some water and see if that helps.”

“Blair can I have a kiss?”

Blair walked over and gently pulled him down for a kiss. Jim was really getting into the kiss, and Blair knew if he got hard that wouldn’t be good. It would work in the opposite way and he started to pull away, when he heard Jim start to go. // Who would have thunk? //

Jim pulled away and said, “Thank you baby. Now will you tell that shit head we can go?” 

“Yeah, my darling sweet talker.” Blair walked out and went to tell the nurse. 

The hospital gave Blair some scrubs, in a large size so Jim could ride home in comfort. Blair helped him get dressed and they signed the papers and were on their way. 

Life at the loft changed quite a bit. Jim and Blair were seldom alone. It was almost like the guys and Connor all thought someone would come after Jim. 

It had been three weeks and both men were getting a little tired of the other one, but neither would say a word. 

Connor walked in the front door carrying Elli and said, “If you’re not up to company that’s fine.”

Jim grabbed Elli and headed for his bedroom. Connor looked over at Blair and said, “Do we not count?”

“NO, we don’t,” Blair said laughing. 

“So why did he take her upstairs?” Connor tried to see over the railing and then she heard Jim. 

“Looky, what Uncle Jim bought for you yesterday. I have to go walking every day, so I try and buy you something fun each time.”

Megan smiled and joined Blair in the kitchen. “Anything new?”

“No, not yet. But if you’re asking about Jim, he’s healing very well. Too well if you ask me,” Blair frowned. 

“You don’t want to have sex?”

“OH yeah, I want to, I just don’t want to hurt anything. Connor it was horrible,” Blair whispered. 

“I can hear both of you,” Jim called down over the railing. 

“So what did he get Elli?” Megan decided to go with something nice. 

“He got her a book, two stuffed animals, you’ll never guess of what, and he got a wonderful Panther and Wolf handmade wind chime. It’s huge, so it can hang down fairly low. But it’s not heavy. He wouldn’t buy anything for her that would hurt her. Anyhow, he got them for here, so we can watch her now and then. God, you have to love that lug,” Blair finally took a breath. 

“Oh hon, I love him too. He’s precious to all of us,” Connor leaned over and kissed Sandy. 

“I can hear you two,” Jim called down the stairs making both Connor and Sandy laugh like mad. 

The two friends sat and talked and talked. Finally Jim called down, “Why don’t you get out for awhile, Connor? I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

“Jim that would be great. You up for it, Sandy?” and she saw the look on his face and realized he hadn’t left Jim since this happened. 

“I should probably stay and help him with Elli. I think that would be best,” Blair walked into the kitchen to pick everything up from lunch. // Jim would have a cow if he saw this mess. //

“But Sandy, I miss you. I don’t miss Jim or Elli. I see them all the time. But you I never see. Let’s go see a movie. Please?” Connor begged. 

“All right, I guess so. Let me go and check on Jim first,” Blair walked up the stairs to find Elli listening intently to a book. “Hey, we’re going to go and see a movie. Her bottle is in the fridge when she starts fussing,” Blair looked heartbroken about leaving him. 

“Give us both a kiss goodbye, we’re having fun here.” Jim kissed him very tenderly and Blair kissed Elli just as soft. 

“Be good and don’t do anything to hurt yourself, all right?”

“I’m good, Chief. Go, have a good time.”

Blair didn’t feel good about leaving him, but he knew he was driving Jim nuts. 

Connor and Blair took off in Connor’s car and headed for the theater. They both decided they wanted to see Signs. 

Jim leaned down and kissed Elli and said, “I’ll be right back baby doll.” She was sleeping but Jim still wanted her subconscious to know. 

While he was in the bathroom, he heard the front door open and footsteps going up to the loft, and he figured it was Sandburg, worrying all ready. He opened the door and heard, “Well he’s here somewhere cuz his kid is here. What do you say we toss the kid over the railing? Jim walked out quickly and said, “Want to come down and take it out on someone that can defend themselves?”

“No, we’re going to toss her to an unknown spot and see if you can catch her,” and that’s exactly what they did. He tossed and Jim ran, but Jim wasn’t in top shape with this injury, so he was a little late. He heard her little head hit the hardwood floor and he was freaking out. 

“Ellison, you’re going to take back everything you said, or we’ll come after your kid again,” the tallest one said as he kicked Jim, and also getting Elli. Jim got over her so that no one could hurt her anymore. Or so he thought. The largest man, weight wise threw himself down on Jim so that he had no where to go, but on Elli. 

“The men walked to the door and said, “Remember what we said, Ellison.”

Jim got off of the baby and saw she was breathing, but he couldn’t get her to wake up. He grabbed her and went upstairs where his gun was. He laid her on the bed and called Joel. 

“Taggert,” 

“Joel, god, come right now. Right now. Something’s wrong with Elli. Please hurry.” Joel heard sobbing next and it scared the fuck out of him. 

He drove to Ellison’s loft in record time and by the time he got there he saw the door was ajar and he came in pistol drawn. “Ellison?”

“Up here Joel,” Jim sounded frantic. 

Joel ran up the stairs and said, “What’s wrong? What happened to her?”

Jim told him the whole story and told him she was breathing fine, but they needed to take her to ER.

Jim drove so that Joel could hold his little girl. When they got there, they took her right in for an examination. Jim was asked many questions and the doctor finally told the two men to sit down. 

“I’m afraid that we’ll have to put your little girl in Pediatric ICU. She’s not responding at all. We need to have a watch on her until we get some type of response. We’re also going to take X-rays and we might do a CAT scan too.”

Jim never looked up the whole time the doctor was talking. Doctor Fonda said, “Is that blood on the front of your sweats?”

“Probably,” Jim said quietly. 

“If you don’t mind that your friend is in the room I can have a look and we can fix that up,” Dr. Fonda said. 

“No that’s all right, it’s fine. Just take care of Elli. She’s the most important person in my world. Please make sure she’s all right,” Jim got up and left the room and didn’t even say goodbye to Joel. 

He took a cab home and waited for Blair and Connor to get there. He was lying upstairs in a lot of pain when he heard the door open downstairs. He grabbed his gun and went to the stairway and Connor said, “Jim, what’s wrong?”

“Connor, don’t panic okay, but Joel and the baby are at the hospital.”

“Doing what?” Connor asked. But Blair could see something was wrong and then he saw the blood all down Jim’s front and his leg. 

“Someone broke into the house while I was in the bathroom and they got upstairs to Elli. They told me I had to drop all of the charges or they would kill her. I told them I would. And they threw her over the railing and I couldn’t get to her fast enough.” By this time Jim as sobbing on the stairs. 

“OH god, is she dead?” Connor said. When Jim didn’t answer she slapped him very hard and said, “Is she dead?”

“No, she’s in Pediatric ICU. Joel’s up there with her. I knew I had to come back and tell you about it. Chief, drive her to the hospital, please?” Jim had never looked sadder. 

“I’ll call her a cab. Okay Connor?” Blair looked at her and hoped she understood. 

“You won’t fucking drive me to the hospital? I need you, Sandy. I need you,” Megan was sobbing onto his shoulder by this time. 

“Jim, you’re coming too,” Blair said as he pulled him up the stairs to change his clothing. 

Blair saw all of the new bruises and saw the opening where all of the blood was coming from. “Hang on, babe. I’ll be right back,” Blair ran down to get the first aid kit. Connor walked up the stairs and wasn’t ready for the sad man in front of her. He didn’t seem to notice she was there. His stomach and fronts of his legs were covered in bruises. But what really upset her was the bloody area. // God, what had they done to her friend? // 

Blair came walking up and said, “Connor come help me please?”

Together they got Jim all bandaged up and taken care of. Then Blair helped him get dressed. Once Blair got his shoes on, Jim reached for his gun. 

“Jim, we don’t need a fucking gun at the hospital.”

“Yeah, we need it everywhere. I couldn’t help her, Blair. I couldn’t fucking help her,” and poor Jim Ellison began to cry again. 

Connor held on to him really close while Blair drove them to the hospital. “Megan, you know I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her on purpose, right?”

“Yes, big man. I know that. She loves you too. No one will blame you for anything,” Connor just kept kissing him on the head. She really felt like Jim would go over the edge if something happened to his namesake. 

When they got there, Jim took them up to where Elli was and she was gone. Ellison of course freaked out, “Megan, god Megan, please, please forgive me. Please?” 

“Jim… Settle down. Let me go and ask about her condition first,” Blair said about ready to smack him if he wasn’t so in love with him. 

“She’s on regular peds, she woke up and there don’t seem to be any problems. They thought I was your brother. I don’t know why they thought that.” Sandy led the way to the Pediatric wing Joel came walking out of the room and Connor flew into his arms. “Please tell me she’s all right.”

“Okay,” Joel kissed her with such love that it made others stop to watch. 

“So she’s fine?” Megan asked again. 

“Meg, she’s fine. She was unconscious for a while, but that’s it. She’s following movement. They asked where Daddy was and she looked at me. So they’re thinking it was just a really good scare for all of us,” Joel pulled her into a hug again. “ Now go and see your little girl.”

Connor grabbed Jim’s hand and pulled him into the room and she had to really pull. He didn’t want to be in there at all. “I don’t want to see her,” He finally said. 

“Tough, she’ll want to see her Uncle Jim. Now get your ass in gear. Jim, it wasn’t your fault. You’re not a fucking superhero. Now let’s go see our angel,” Connor pushed him in and Elli saw her Uncle Jim and started flapping her arms all over the place. 

“Hey, my honey bunny. How are you feeling now? Uncle Jim’s so sorry about what happened. From now on I’ll come see you at your house where it’s safe. I love you,” Jim leaned down and went to kiss her and she kissed him back. 

“Connor did you see that?”

“I thought you didn’t care. Yeah, I saw it. Figures the first person she would kiss would be you. Hi Pumpkin, can Mommy have a kiss,” Connor leaned in and received a kiss also. 

“I’ll go and get Joel and Blair,” Jim almost flew out of the room. 

Everyone went in and made Elli give them kisses until she started crying. 

The doctor let the Taggert’s take Elli home that night and Jim and Blair went home for a long needed discussion. 

While Blair was lecturing Jim, Jim kept getting harder and harder, finally saying, “Chief, every time you lecture me, I get a hard on. Feel this baby,” he pulled Blair’s hand down to feel his first hard on since this had happened. 

Simon came to the door right then. “Oh figures, you get hard and our boss comes to the fucking door.”

Jim smiled and put a pillow over his cock. Simon sat down next to Jim and said, “So do you know who any of them were?”

“I recognized two of their voices, another by smell, but the fourth one no,” Jim answered. 

Simon pulled a tablet out and a pen and said, “Shoot.”

Jim rattled off the men’s names and where he knew them from in case Simon wondered. 

“Don’t worry about a thing Jim. We’re going to have your place watched for the next month or so. I want you and Sandburg to be on the lookout all the time. Try to back each other up. But don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t have avoided. Understood?”

“Yes sir,” Jim answered and shook his hand. 

“Now let’s see did you want me to leave, or did you want to do something about that hard on?” Simon got up and laughed all the way to the front door. “Hey, I cover mine up the same damn way. You have to love men.” 

They were just getting into it when the phone rang. Blair answered saying, “Sandburg!”

“Hi Sandy, guess what? I think the best thing we can do is have another Sullivan’s Pub. I asked Sully and she said I can bring Elli with us. And it’s a non-smoking bar so that works too. What do you think? Some time this week?” Connor was so excited that Blair had to smile. 

“Connor that would be wonderful. How about Friday? That’s a good day for a lot of us I think. Now I don’t want to be rude, but I have a friend here with a hard on and he doesn’t remember what to do with it.” Blair giggled. 

“Chiefffffffff.” 

“OH by all means, go and show him. Have fun, Sandy. Have fun. I love you both.” Connor hung up before Blair could return the statement. 

“That was Connor on the phone,” Blair said laughing. 

“And?” 

“She said she loved us, but she didn’t wait for a reply. We’ve told her, right?” Blair asked his love. 

Jim picked the phone up and called them. “Conner”

“Hey good looking, I just called to say I love you,” she could hear the smile in Jim’s voice. 

Blair grabbed the phone and said, “I love you too. Hug the big guy for us and tell him we love him.”

“Wait, here he is,” Connor handed the phone over to Joel. 

“Jim?”

“NO this is Blair. I wanted to tell you that I love you,” Blair felt better after he said it. 

Jim grabbed the phone and said, “Joel, I love you too. Will you give Elli a kiss for me when she gets up in the morning?”

“I sure can. Now I have to go, I have a hot looking woman lying on my bed,” Joel said winking at Meg. 

“You have someone over there when Connor’s there?” Jim asked laughing. 

“Very funny. I love you too, Jim. Thank you for being a good friend.” 

Jim hung the phone up and said, “All right you are on.”

Blair was very careful with his sweet man, and Jim was glad of that cuz it hurt like hell. Thankfully Blair was a very patient man. 

They knew that it was going to be a long few months, but they didn’t care as long as they were together. 

They were almost asleep when Jim asked, “Hey Chief, if I would have had to go to prison, do you think I would have been an automatic bottom?”

There was a loud slap heard in the loft and Jim saying, “Ow.”

“Don’t ask anything like that again,” Blair answered in a steely tone. 

“Hey, I was wondering. I figured you would have had it figured out for me,” Jim said. 

There was another loud slap heard in their bedroom. 

“Ow, Chief, that hurts.”

“Do I need to become abusive, Jim?”

“No, I don’t think so. I think they would have pegged me as a bottom. I like it too much.”

Another slap was heard, and Jim said, “All right. I’ll let you go to sleep. You’re fucking crabby when you’re tired. It was just a fucking question.”

“You want a question how about this one? What would I have done if you went to prison? I would have probably shot myself.” Blair said sadly. 

There was a slap heard, a little harder than the others, “Fuck, that hurts.” Blair said rubbing his arm. 

“Don’t ever say you’re going to leave me,” Jim was now being steely. 

“I got a little hard from that smack, wanna fool around?” Blair moved into Jim’s space and that’s exactly what they did. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 14


	15. Sullivan's Pub Part 15

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 15  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17   
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 08/29/02  
Category: Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here? I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: If you have any ammo for me to work with, feel free to send it. Thank you to Krisser for this ammo, it’s a riot. 

Story Notes: There might be some angst. I’m going to mention some things from the earlier ones. Just warning. But mostly this will be fun. 

 

Summary: After six long months, Connor is thrilled to have Sullivan’s Pub back on track. Will it be fun fest or an angst fest? You’ll have to see. Might be both. 

Warnings: m/m, Silliness abounds.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Sullivan’s Pub 15  
Patt

 

Finally, after six long months of being off, Connor was getting the surveys back on track. Sullivan’s Pub was going to have their first meeting in six months. With many a good reason to celebrate. 

Connor started getting everything ready, stopping now and then to kiss her sweet husband and child. Sully had told her that it was fine to bring Elli. She was part of the group and may as well hear the word fuck as young as she possibly can. Connor had laughed but realized it might not be a place for a baby. 

“Joel, do you think your sister can watch her next week while we come here?”

“Why? Sully said she could come,” Joel looked almost hurt. 

“Because we get a little rowdy in here. And the language is awful. We don’t want our little girl thinking that’s normal,” Connor looked to him for support. 

“But Meg, you say that F word more than anyone,” Joel laughed. 

“Exactly why we don’t want her hanging out with me here,” Connor sat on Joel’s lap and kissed him. 

“You best get off my lap or we’re going to have to talk about the first that pops up,” Connor got off his lap laughing. 

Everyone came walking through the door and the Taggerts were so happy to see them. And they all went for the baby and didn’t say a word to Connor and Joel. 

“Joel, I’m beginning to feel left out big time,” Connor whined. 

“At least you’re not alone, its both of us,” Joel kissed her and began to dance to the music, holding Connor close. 

Simon walked up to the dancing couple and said, “So are we going to do this or what?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Simon,” Connor said moving away from Joel. 

“Connor, we just saw each other at work all day. What, did you miss me?” Simon was being very sarcastic. 

Connor whispered under her breath, ‘asshole’ and moved on. She knew that Simon would have been able to hear it and maybe clean up his act. 

She looked over and laughed when she saw who had Elli in his lap. // I really need to get her a sitter or Ellison is going to ruin her. //

“Jim, you can put her in her little seat. That’s what they’re for,” Connor smiled at him and hoped she wouldn’t have to get ugly. 

“Don’t be silly. She looked uncomfortable and I wanted to hold her. She’s fine where she is,” Jim looked down at Elli and smiled. “Your silly Mama thinks you need to sit in that chair. Not when I’m here.”

Connor looked at everyone and knew that they all saw the problem, also. Joel came over and said, “Hey little girl. Come see Daddy.”

Jim gave her up, but not willingly. He leaned over and whispered to Blair, “She was fine with me.”

“She’s fine with them too, Jim. It’s their kid,” Blair snapped. 

“Does this boil down to you want a child now?” Jim said loud enough for everyone to hear. 

“Why not just announce it, Ellison?” Blair growled. 

“Sorry everyone. We’re just having a little disagreement,” Jim blushed and turned back to Blair. 

“Wait a moment. You guys want a baby?” Sully asked. 

“Blair does,” Jim said quickly. “I’ve got Elli.”

“Hold me back, I’m going to kill him,” Blair stood up and yelled. 

Simon laughed all the way down to that end of the table and said, “If you two can’t get along, we’re going to separate you.” Then he walked back and sat down. 

“Well I think it would be great if you adopted a child,” Sam smiled and added, “and remember you have a friend in the law business.”

“Well that’s just it, he wants us to have one ourselves,” Jim said. 

“I don’t know how to break this to you, Jim. You and Blair can’t have a baby,” Dan was howling by this time. 

“You know what I mean. He wants us to get a surrogate and go that route,” Jim laughed in spite of himself. “I’ve heard they always want to keep them.”

“I can’t imagine anyone being that obsessed with a baby,” Connor laughed along with everyone else. 

“Why are you all laughing?” Jim totally confused. 

“Because you’re obsessed with Elli, you jerk,” Blair smacked Jim’s arm as he said it. 

“We have a special bond, you must see that,” Jim looked around for some type of support. “I’m sorry Connor, I didn’t realize I was doing that. I’ll back off.”

“That’s what I don’t want Jim. I love the attention you give her, but you could pay attention to Blair, Joel and myself sometimes. When she’s in the room it’s like no one else exists,” Megan hoped that he would take this well. 

“Okay, I’ll work on it. So I don’t have to give up holding her all the time?” Jim asked. 

“No, you can still hold her. But Jim, if she’s not crying let her sit in her swing or her chair. You’re spoiling her rotten,” Joel said. 

“Okay, I get it. Are we going to do this damn thing or not?” Jim growled out. 

Simon said, “I think you should tell us if there is anything new going on with you Jim. We’ve all hoped all week that you just forgot to call us.” 

“I don’t have anything new going on in my life. Now are we going to do the survey Connor?” Jim implored. 

“Jim, tell them what’s going on,” Sam growled right back at him. 

“Sam, did you ever think that maybe I’d like to have a night out without real life? Because I’m fucking tired of real life.” Jim sounded tired to everyone. 

“I’m sorry Jim, you’re right. Go ahead and start Connor,” Sam moved in closer to Dan. She needed some attention fast. Thankfully Dan saw that and acted upon it. 

“Jim, you don’t have much choice with us. We need to know it, or we can’t move on. So spill your guts and then we’ll do this damn thing,” Connor ordered. 

“There’s nothing much. Sam is suing the City and the State, for me, and I’m being investigated right and left. They’re hoping they’ll find something bad in my work records. And oh, lets not forget they want to know whom I live with and what is our relationship. That’s it. Nothing new other than that, so can we move on?”

“But everything is under control, right Jim?” Sam asked. 

“I guess so. I’ve got my lover sleeping in his old room and we’re moving our relationship back to before,” Jim whined. 

“Blair, you’re still giving him nookie, right?” Dan asked and couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Nookie? Where do you people come up with these fucking words?” Jim shouted. 

Everyone just stared at him for the outburst but no one said a word. 

“No Dan, I’m not giving him Nookie, so that might be why he’s a little on the grouchy side. Jim, why don’t you sit with Connor and Joel and play with Elli?” Blair teased. 

“Sam, if Dan decided not to give it up for awhile, wouldn’t you be upset?” Jim asked, sure of her answer. 

“Give it up? What does that mean?” Sam snickered. 

“Okay, Simon. You’re level headed, I think. If Sully decided not to give you sex for awhile, how upset would you be?” Jim knew this answer. 

“Well I’d probably just come over to your place and satisfy Sandburg, since you’re not giving him nookie,” Simon loved when he made Jim’s mouth go open and shut with no sound. 

“Jim, I hear ya,” Brown patted his back and then his hand went lower and lower. 

“Oh you are so fucking funny, Brown. Get your hand off of me, or we will go have sex,” Jim was laughing now too. 

“So Jim, other than the pretending you’re single, are things well? You feel like Sam’s getting you to where you need to be?” Rafe asked seriously. 

“Oh yeah, Sam’s the greatest. I’ve got no complaints other than I want to start the dumb survey,” Jim snickered at the look on Connor’s face. 

“Now see what you did?” Connor picked up a fussing Elli and glared at Jim. 

Jim walked down and took her from Connor and sat back by Blair. 

“Looky Uncle Blair. It’s our precious itty, bitty, cutie, patootie,” Jim blew raspberries on her belly as she laughed in high spirits. 

“Jim, we’re going to actually do the survey now,” Blair looked so irritated. 

“Do you see me and Elli stopping you. So do it, Connor,” Jim continued to make little kissy noises at Elli and then was letting her pull his hair. 

“Jimbo, I would suggest you don’t let her do that. You don’t have any to spare,” Connor the tormenter was back in full force. 

“Oh ha ha ha. You’re so fucking funny,” Jim snarled. 

“Jim, you’re holding the baby,” Blair reminded him. 

“Well duh. Chief, she’s not going to speak tomorrow,” Jim again ignored everyone else and started kissing his little bubby. 

“He doesn’t have a clue as to how ridiculous he looks, does he?” Simon asked. 

“Well actually, I like to tease him, but I love how he loves her in front of everyone. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks,” Connor stood up for her mate. 

“I can hear all of you, let’s get the survey started,” Jim ordered this time and then blew on Elli’s belly and said, “Who is my bubby? Who is my little bubby?”

“Jim, I’m getting nauseous,” Blair held a hand to his forehead. 

“Fine, I’ll go somewhere else. We’ll go sit at the bar,” Jim got up and everyone said, “Sit.”

“Okay, we’re ready to go. This one is funny, it’s not anything we’re going to have to think on for a long time. Just pure fun. What I want to know is do you think it’s funny? Do you think it reminds you of anyone here? And are they only for women? Here we go,”

 

Women's Issues 

Connor: Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children are enough.

Sully: Oh god, that’s too funny. 

Sam: I want a large family. Wait honey don’t leave. (Teasing her man) 

Jim: This is dumb, isn’t it Bubby?

Blair: Does someone have a hammer?

Rafe: I agree with Jim, it is dumb.

Connor: But did you laugh, even for a moment?

Rafe: Okay, for a minute. 

Brown: For a really long minute, Bri. 

Simon: I didn’t laugh. I thought it was stupid. 

Sully: You better lighten up hot shot or you won’t be getting any nookie. (laughing)

Joel: Busted, big time. 

Connor: I think this is more about women that think they need to have like 10 kids. 35 is an exaggeration. 

Jim: You think, bubby?

Connor: Jim, stop talking to the baby and talk to us.

Jim: Fine, I thought it was dumb. Bubby, bubby, bubby. (Kissing noises going on.)

Connor: He’s hopeless. 

Joel: He’s had a hard few months, if Elli makes him happy then why should we complain?

Connor: Because Sandy is supposed to be making him happy, not fucking bubby. (glaring at Jim)

Jim: Sorry Connor. I’ll be good from now on. 

Dan: I’m just in awe Jim. You love that baby don’t you? You really should have a baby. 

Blair: Dan were you here when we discussed this?

Dan: Fuck you, Sandburg. I can ask him questions if I want to.

Simon: All right, let’s not let this get out of hand. 

Jim: We’ll talk later, Dan. 

Blair: Fuck you. 

Jim: Did you hear Uncle Blair just say that to your Unca Jim? 

Rafe: Jim, you are sickening. Stop it. 

Brown: Put the baby down and no one will get hurt. 

Jim: I need her bottle Connor. (Ignoring all of his co-workers)

Connor: Let’s move on. Taking the bottle down to Jim she said, “Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?   
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Joel: Oh god, we were talking about this the other night. 

Connor: We were. It’s funny. 

Sully: I think that’s how I would feel about the baby moving and Simon would be thinking about the baby moving out. 

Simon: Excuse me?

Sully: Well you don’t even want children.

Simon: Sully, I have a child. He’s all I can handle. 

Jim: Daryl is a great kid, Simon. 

Simon: He’s a brat sometimes, I think it might be because he hung around you.

Jim: Me?

Simon: Yes you. You have a way of spoiling them rotten. 

Rafe: I think I would feel like this all the time, but Henry would love to have a family. 

Brown: I would. 

Sam: So do it. 

Brown: That damn Rafe is sterile. (Laughing his ass off.)

Sam: I was serious. 

Dan: Do you want a family soon?

Sam: Who are you talking to, Dan? 

Dan: You, you nut job. 

Sam: Yeah, I could do the family thing easily. 

Sully: Maybe I could hold and love yours. 

Blair: Well that’s what Jim does. 

 

Connor: Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes borderline   
irrational. A: So what's your question?

 

Jim: Now that is sexist. Blair is moody and borderline irrational all the time. You don’t see me calling him pregnant. (Putting Elli on his shoulder to burp her.)

Blair: Jim put that baby down right now. I’m not joking. Take her down to her parents and then I’ll meet you in the restroom. 

Jim: Maybe he’s rethinking the no sex rule. (laughing)

Connor: Here let me take her and Jim, he’s upset. Don’t joke. 

Jim: I didn’t do anything to him. Why is he upset with me?

Rafe: You’re an idiot?

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Rafe: You’re a no-class idiot?

Brown: I would suggest you go in there and let him just yell at you for a bit and then come out and behave. 

Jim: I don’t have to do what he says. He doesn’t even sleep with me anymore. 

Simon: Jim, you sound like you’re 12. 

Sully: I’d go in if I were you. 

Sam: Jim go to him. I’m serious. No joking. Go love that man of yours.

Jim stood up and walked into the restroom. Blair was leaning against the wall looking like he’d lost his best friend. 

“Chief, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know I fucked up,” Jim pulled Blair into his arms and Blair said, “Jim what did you do?”

“What?” Jim was totally confused. 

“Why did you apologize?” Blair repeated. 

“Because I’m mean to you?” Jim guessed. 

“No, you’re not mean to me. You’re an idiot sometimes, but not mean.”

“So tell me, Chief, what did I do?”

“You don’t love me enough to have a family with me and you love Elli so much there isn’t enough room for all of us,” Blair almost whispered. 

“I promise we’ll discuss it seriously this time. But I can’t give up on Elli Chief. She’s so precious. I love her to death,” Jim told Blair just how he felt. 

“Well that’s great, but when you’re with her, it’s like I don’t exist.”

“Oh grow up Sandburg, she’s a friggin baby,” Jim hollered. 

“It’s been nice knowing you, Ellison,” and Blair stormed out of the restroom and then out of the bar. 

Jim headed back to the table and saw everyone glaring at him. He finally just sat down and looked at the table. 

Jim: Connor can I have Elli back please?

Connor: No, what in the world is going on? 

Jim: We have different needs. 

Simon: You want me to drive you over to talk to him?

Jim: Simon, I have my truck. I’m not driving anywhere. 

Sully: Tell me you didn’t raise your voice and call him Sandburg. 

Jim: All right. 

Sully: Shit, you know how Blair hates that. 

Jim: Hates what?

Sully: When you call him Sandburg and yell. 

Dan: She’s right Jim. You best get your butt over there. How much do you want to bet he’s packing right now?

Sam: I don’t think he would leave him. 

Dan: You don’t know Blair’s temper like we do. You also don’t know what an idiot Ellison is when he’s not thinking straight. 

Jim: Hey, it was his idea for us to go without sex. So blame him. 

Joel: So you had a fight and called him Sandburg and he left, because of no sex?

Jim: Exactly. We both need it, it’s clear as a bell. Now could we please go back to this survey so I can go home? 

Brown: I think you should call him Jim. 

Rafe: Oh fuck him. 

Jim: Whom are you talking about? (Very angry)

Rafe: Sandburg. He’s a brat. You spoil him rotten too. 

Jim: Don’t say that any more. 

 

Connor: Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but   
pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be   
called an air current.

 

Sully: Oh god, I love this one. Blair would have laughed his butt off. 

Connor: Sandy would have loved this one. And it’s so true. 

Sam: I think we should call Blair on my cell phone so we can tell him this one. 

Dan: Go for it. Call him. 

Rafe: When you get him, would you tell him that he could stay at our place?

(Jim glares at both Brown and Rafe and tries to control his anger.)

Simon: Well I for one think this whole survey is dumb. 

Sully: It’s funny, Si. 

Connor: Si? How cute. 

Jim: Sully, don’t call people nicknames when yours could be worse. At least his is Si, yours would be Suh. People would think Duh Suh.

Simon: Jim, are you aiming to get your face punched in?

Sully: Simon calm down. He’s mad at himself and taking it out on me. 

Jim: Oh armchair psychology. You gotta love it. 

Rafe: Grow up, Ellison. 

Brown: What’s wrong with you?

Jim: I’m sorry everyone. Truly sorry. Let’s get back to the survey. I’m sorry Sully. (Jim gets up and kisses her and gives her a hug.)

 

Connor: Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out   
you're pregnant.

 

Connor: God, how true is this? 

Joel: Honey bear you weren’t bad. 

Connor: It’s just a joke Joel. 

Sam: I think it’s a riot, even with no experience. 

Sully: Yeah, it’s funny. 

Simon: You’re pissed because we can’t have a baby? 

Sully: I can have a baby any time I choose to. 

Simon: You’d leave me to have a child?

Sully: I don’t know. Let’s move on. 

Rafe: Well I wish they gave those shots to our suspects sometimes. 

Brown: Man, that’s a good idea. You should bring that up at one of the big meetings. (laughing his ass off.)

Dan: I think they should give it to our bosses. Oh sorry, Simon. 

Sam: God, you’re cute. 

 

Connor: Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in   
labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

 

Jim: Now this sounds like a woman. 

Sam: I resemble that remark. 

Dan: Yes, you do woman. (Pulls her in for a kiss)

Rafe: This is so true, don’t you think so, Connor? 

Connor: Yes, if my husband didn’t want to come into the labor room I’d kick his ass and leave him. 

Brown: I think a man should be shot for this. 

Simon: You might want to rephrase that, Brown. 

Sully: Who really cares? 

Simon: Sully, wait till we get home. 

Sully: Everyone else discusses things but us. 

Simon: They’re nuts and we’re not.

Sully: Jim, could I speak to you in the kitchen please?

Jim: Sure. 

Both head to the kitchen and Simon wished he had Jim’s hearing. 

“So what’s up, Sully?”

“I want to have a baby. I know you want to have a baby. I’m willing to let you impregnate me and I’ll let you raise the baby. I would get visitation rights. What do you think?” Sully stood back and watched his face. 

“I’m really thrilled that you asked me, because as you know, I love babies, but I don’t think Simon would approve,” Jim put his arms around Sully and pulled her close. “Don’t do this to hurt him, Sully. Do you know how many people get pregnant by accident? I mean, they’re on the fucking pill and boom. The next thing you know they’re pregnant.” Jim wiggled his eyebrows at her. 

“Are you telling me to…” Sully just stood there in shock. 

Leaning down he kisses her and said, “Let’s get back out there before your man has a hissy fit.”

“Oh let’s tell him all about hissy fits,” Sully said laughing. 

“Simon you’re safe. Jim has talked some sense into my head and I’m being selfish. I’m sorry baby,” Sully pulled Simon into her arms. 

“Do I need to have him move to our house because this is one of the best hugs I’ve had in ages. I love you baby,” Simon kissed her again. 

Rafe moved in for a kiss from Brown. Connor began to kiss Joel and Dan was kissing Sam. Jim looked around and realized he wanted his mate back more than anything. 

 

Connor: Second part of the survey:"ESTROGEN ISSUES"  
WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

Connor: Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

Connor: Can anyone say Simon? 

Sully: I agree. 

Jim: God this is great. I think it sounds like me. 

Rafe: It should, because it does. 

Brown: I love it. I think it sounds like all of us at different times of the month. Oh fuck, does that mean men have monthly’s. (Everyone cracks up)

Dan: I work with four women, so I identify with this majorly. 

Sam: I work with four men and I identify with it. 

Joel: Well I think it screams Meg. 

Connor: Me? What are you talking about? 

Joel: See? That’s what I mean. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor:You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

Jim: Hey Chocolate is good in almost everything. (Looks up and see Blair standing in the doorway looking lost.)  
“Hey, can we wait a minute? Blair is here and I want to talk to him.”  
“By all means, go.” Simon shooed him off.   
Jim followed Blair out into the parking lot. 

“I’m sorry Chief. I was mean and cruel and had no right to say those things to you. And you know what? I want a baby with you. I want one so bad. But I’m afraid,” Jim was holding Blair by this time.   
“What are you afraid of Jim?”  
“That you’ll love that baby more than me and then move. I would be all alone again,” Jim looked so sad.   
“Jim, I want to try a surrogate mother and I want you to be the dad, not me. I want us to raise a little Sentinel,” Blair reached up and kissed Jim.   
“Blair will you listen to me? Hear me out. There are so many kids in the two to twelve range that have no where to go. No one to love them and teach them. We’re perfect for that. We can tell them up front that we’re gay and go from there,” Jim waited for Blair’s reaction.   
“Jim, that is a wonderful idea. They wouldn’t be our blood, but that wouldn’t matter. Look how much you love Elli, right?” Blair asked hoping for Jim to talk him into it.   
“Blair, we have to stop this fighting. I was so scared you were going to pack and leave. And I can’t live without you,” Jim kissed him once more before they headed in.   
“Oh look the sweethearts are here,” Connor cooed.   
“WE want to go home some time tonight, so let’s get back on track, Connor,” Jim laughed at the ugly face she made at him. 

Connor: The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.  
Rafe: Honest to god, this happens at our house all the time, doesn’t it Henry?  
Brown: I don’t think so.   
Rafe: Are you saying I’m getting fat?  
Brown: Oh yeah, I think I saw a pound extra on you babe. No, I’m not saying your getting fat. I was talking about me.  
Rafe: Henry, I want to see all of your fat soon.  
Simon: Excuse me, would you like to take this home?  
Rafe: The survey? Or Connor?  
Joel: You guys are too much. (laughing very hard.)  
Sully: Doesn’t happen at our house, I would just go buy new anyhow.   
Sam: Boy are we sisters or what?  
Connor: Well I want you to know that I just got back into my size six jeans today. First time since I had Elli. I felt so damn good about that.   
Dan: And what does this have to do with shrinking jeans?  
Connor: Oh hush.   
Dan: Congrats on the weight loss and you look beautiful.   
Connor: You think so?  
Dan: I just said it. I don’t say things I don’t mean.   
Jim: Connor, I tell you how nice you look all the time.   
Connor: Well it’s not the same.   
Jim: (Looking irritated.) Because I’m gay?  
Connor: (Laughs really loud.) No, because I’m Elli’s mom and you think everything about Elli is wonderful.   
Jim: Well you look wonderful, Megan. (Jim got up and went to the end and kissed her and picked up Elli.)  
Connor: Wow, for a moment, I thought he was actually coming for me. Silly Connor. 

 

Connor: Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

Jim: Okay, I don’t want to insult my better half, but this is me. 

Blair: I do expect you to agree with everything I say. 

Connor: Well it’s good that you both know and are okay with it. 

Sully: This is me too. When Simon is grumpy I just go along with what he says. 

Simon: I agree. (Snickering)

Rafe: I’m the one that always has to be right in our house. 

Brown: And like you’re bragging? (Browns turn to snicker)

Rafe: Damn right. 

Dan: I agree with everything that Sam says. 

Sam: He does and he does it well too. (Kisses Dan.)

Joel: I agree almost always with what Meg says. 

Connor: He sure does, and he does it well too. 

Jim: All right, are we keeping score? Cuz it’s not fair. I’m not getting any right now. 

Blair: Be good and let me be right all night and I’ll give you some. 

Simon: That’s more than we wanted to hear. 

Sully: No it isn’t. What are you planning to do?

Simon: Sully, don’t ask things like that. It’s rude. 

Blair: Simon it’s not rude. Besides I’m just going to do the usual. Tongue him till he’s close to passing out and fuck him senseless. It doesn’t actually take too long, because he’s almost there now. 

Jim: So can I say Fuck You?

Blair: Only if you want it on the table. 

Jim started pounding his poor head on the table. Until Blair finally got him to stop. 

Connor: I think it’s time to move on.   
Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.

Jim: Screams Simon. 

Simon: Screams Ellison. 

Joel: Screams Megan. 

Brown: Screams Rafe. 

Sully: Screams Simon. 

Sam: Screams me. 

Dan: I don’t want anyone screaming, so knock it off. 

Connor: This does sound like me. 

Jim: It does sound like me too. 

Joel: I think it also screams Blair. 

Blair: I’m glad someone noticed. 

 

Connor: You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

Blair: This should be Jim’s bumper sticker.   
Jim: I agree.   
Brown: He just wants sex.   
Jim: I agree.   
Rafe: He’s pulling your leg, Ellison. You’re not getting any.   
Jim: Chief?  
Blair: Yes, you’re getting some.   
Jim: Thank you god.   
Blair: Could you please stop calling me that? I have enough pressure in my life as it is.   
Jim: Isn’t he cute? (Pulls Blair in for a kiss)  
Blair: Promise him sex and he’ll do almost anything.   
Connor: I think this one is all Jim, too.   
Sam: Well I don’t see it.   
Dan: You poor, poor thing.   
Jim: Hey don’t pick on Sam.   
Connor: Wait a minute, why don’t you defend me?  
Jim: I thought I did. I wasn’t keeping track, Megan. Isn’t Mommy Silly? She’s a silly, willy goose.   
Brown: Are we almost done?  
Rafe: God, Ellison, you’re giving us all a bad name.   
Jim: (Holding Elli up) Tell Uncle Bri, fuck you and your buddy too.   
Joel: Jim bring her down here now. (Scowling)  
Jim: Sorry Joel. (He walks up to the head of the table and gives Elli back.)

 

Connor: Okay, you’re all safe. It’s time to go home. Goodnight everyone.   
Joel: Goodnight.   
Jim: We’re out of here. Night y’all.   
Blair: Jim don’t be rude. (Jim puts Blair’s hand over his erection) See you all tomorrow.   
Sam: Next week?  
Connor: Yeah, except we’re not bringing baby next time.   
Jim: (Stops in doorway) Why?  
Joel: That’s why Jim. You’re on your way to have good sex and you’re stopping to whine about no baby here.   
Jim: Okay. Night.   
Brown and Rafe: Night everyone.   
Sam and Dan: Night.   
Sully and Simon: See you next week. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub 15  
See you next week!


	16. Sullivan's Pub Part 16

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 16  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 10/04/02  
Category: Drama, 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here? I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Back to a little serious. But next one will be total fun. I already have my ammo chosen. 

Story Notes: If anyone needs the other   
ones, let me know. My page only goes to Part 7 because Tripod won't let me upload anything anymore. Don't even get me started or this will be longer than the damn story. 

Summary: Joel and Connor’s friends come to the house for dinner. The Taggert’s find out about two children that need a family. Who comes to mind? That’s right. Now our men have to decide if this is what they really want. 

Warnings: m/f,m/m, angst/angst/and more angst

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sullivan’s Pub 16  
Patt

Megan stirred everything on the stove smiling the entire time. She was so excited about having someone over other than the bullpen gang. Not that she minded them. Quite the opposite, she adored them all. But they needed other friends too. 

She also loved cooking. Joel walked into the kitchen carrying Elli and licking his lips. // Too bad it’s not for me. // “Does it smell good, honey bear?”

“It smells wonderful,” Joel answered and then kissed her passionately. 

“And what is that for, sweetheart?” 

“You are the sexiest woman that was ever put on the face of this earth. When I walked in and saw you, I drooled,” Joel said with a smile. 

“So you were licking your lips about me?” Connor was throwing herself at Joel by this time. 

“Do we have time for a quickie?” Joel asked. 

“Always time for a quickie, love,” Connor took Elli and put her in her crib to play. Megan met Joel in their room and they couldn’t get their clothes off fast enough. 

Joel seemed to take his time for a change. He was licking, sucking and kissing her like he’d never done. When he knew she was ready he entered her and began to make sweet love. 

They giggled, smiled and laughed while they took their shower afterwards. “I love you, Meg.”

“And I love you, Joel,” Connor held him for a long time and he didn’t try and pull away. 

“Did you hear that Jim and Blair are looking for a house?” Joel didn’t know if anyone knew yet. 

“How long have they been looking?” Megan did her hair while eyeing her hubby in the mirror. She never tired of watching that sweet man. 

“Jim told me that they saw one they were pretty certain they were going to get. If they want to be on the list for Foster Parents, they thought they should have a house.” Joel reminded her. 

“But I hate to see them rush into anything,” Megan worried about them constantly. 

“Honey, Jim told me that he wanted to get a place so it would be on one floor for Elli,” Joel smiled. 

Megan moved into Joel’s arms and said, “That man is past precious.”

“I agree, now let’s check on our daughter and get dinner ready,” Joel held her hand all the way down the hall. “I love you so much, Meg,” Joel whispered. 

“God, we need to go back to the bedroom, Joel. What you do to me,” Megan began kissing him back and showing how much she loved him. She could feel him growing hard against her and smiled knowing she could turn her husband on, after all this time. 

The doorbell rang and he said, “Meg, I can’t answer the door like this.” He pointed to his tented trousers and she smiled and walked off. 

“The things I do for love.” Connor laughed all the way to the front door. 

She looked out the glass and saw their friends, Rick and Rena. Opening the door, she smiled and said, “Come on in. I hope you’re hungry.”

They came in and sat in the living room and chatted with Joel while Connor finished up setting the table. “Everyone ready to eat?”

“I am.” Rena said quickly as she jumped up. 

“Me too, Rena doesn’t feed me anymore.” Rick teased. 

“I’m always ready to eat Meg’s cooking. She’s a great cook.” Joel said joining the others. 

They all sat down and began to eat and converse. Joel asked, “So how is work going Rena?”

“So sad, we have the cutest children right now, and they’ll never get places because they’re older. And they aren’t even that old. The little girl is five and the little boy is six. It’s so sad when things happen to parents and the children have no where to go.”

“Well Rena, do you have set rules against gay couples adopting?” Megan asked hopefully. 

“No, if I found a good gay couple, I would place the children right away.”

“We have the perfect couple for you, Rena.” Joel smiled.

“Who?”

“Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg. Do you know of them, Rick?” Joel asked. 

“Hell everyone knows about Ellison and Sandburg. I had no idea they were thinking about adopting. Rena, these guys are really good guys. You need to get them on your list.” Rick was hopeful too. 

“Megan, could you call them and tell them to come to my office tomorrow morning? We could get the paperwork started first thing.” Rena was thrilled. 

“I’ll call them right now and see what they have to say.”

“Wait. Let me ask a few questions? Would you leave Elli in their care and not worry about anything?” Rena asked very seriously. 

“We have left her in their care. They love her to pieces.” Joel said proudly. 

“I’m not going to find any weird stuff on the background check, am I?” Rena now was into her worry zone. 

“They’re cops, they have no record and they’re great.” Megan ran to the phone and called them. 

“You won’t be sorry, Rena.” Joel promised. 

“I figure if they’re friends of yours, they must be all right.” Rena answered. 

“And babe, I know them from my work too. One time Jim ran into a burning building along side of me to save a child.” Rick had almost forgotten that. 

“He does sound great.” Rena said smiling. 

“But Sandburg is wonderful too.” Joel said with a smile. 

“Okay, they’ll be at your office at 9:00 tomorrow. Is that good?” Megan said bouncing in place. 

“That’s perfect. Do they have a house?” Rena asked. 

“Shit, they’ve been looking. Let me see if they found one.” Connor ran back in and called the guys again. 

Everyone sat quietly at the table and waited for Connor. She ran back in the room and said, “They bought a house. Joel, they want us all to come and see it tonight. They’re pretty excited about it.”

“Want to go with us?” Joel asked Rick and Rena. 

“Sure, then we can meet them also.” Rena got up and headed in for Elli. 

“Joel, have you noticed that people never stop paying attention to our child? Geeze, when she’s 20, they’ll still be doing this.” Megan leaned in for a kiss while they waited for Rena. 

On the drive over, Connor told Joel how to get there and when they finally drove up, they were a little surprised. It was much bigger than either man had talked about. 

“Lovely house.” Rena said. 

“Gorgeous.” Megan added. 

“Huge.” Rick declared. 

“Why don’t we go in?” Joel suggested. 

They all walked up and Joel knocked on the door. Jim pulled it open and Megan hadn’t seen him this happy in a very long time. “Hey Joel and Connor. Come on in. And you must be Rena and Rick. Glad to meet you. I’m Jim Ellison.” He shook hands with them and led them into the house. 

“Jim, what happened to the small house idea?” Megan asked. 

“Well we realized we needed at least two bedrooms for children we would have, one bedroom for Elli and one for in-laws. So we ended up with a five bedroom house. You don’t like it?” Jim looked honestly hurt. 

“Oh no, I love it, it just took me off guard is all.” Megan said quickly. 

“Where is Blair?” Joel asked. 

“He’s measuring bedrooms. He’s so excited Connor. Go. He wants to talk to you.” Jim pushed Connor towards the hallway. 

“Jim, this is a wonderful house for bringing up children.” Rena started. “Would you like to hear about the two children?”

“Yes, but could we get Blair in here? I don’t want him to miss that part of it.” Jim jumped up and rushed down the hall to get Connor and Sandburg. 

“He’s past cute, Joel.” Rena said with a smile in her voice. 

“I told you. He’s darling. They both are.” Joel was so proud of his friends. 

Jim entered the room dragging Blair beside him and said, “Rena and Rick, this is my better half. Blair Sandburg.” Blair reached over and shook hands with both and smiled. 

“Blair, is it okay if I call you Blair?” Rena asked. 

“Of course, that’s my name.” Blair sat down and waited to have some embarrassing things asked. 

“What do you think of the house, Blair?” Rick asked. 

“I think the house is going to be wonderful. When we get all of the rooms done, it’s going to look great.” Jim beamed with pride as his lover spoke. 

“What would you think about having a four year old little girl and a five year old little boy move in soon?” Rena watched their faces and saw both men light up like light bulbs.

Blair spoke first, “We would be more than thrilled, but we know how long it takes and we’re willing to wait that long. We want a family.” Jim moved beside him and put his arm around his love. 

“I would love to have two children. We’re ready whenever you are.” Jim said pulling Blair closer each moment. 

“We’ll fill the forms out tomorrow and then go before a judge in a week. If everything is all right, they’ll be moving in with you.” Rena smiled up at them. 

“But don’t they need time to get to know us?” Blair asked. 

“They might be afraid.” Jim added. 

“I knew you two were going to be the right ones. No one else has asked about the kids. I’ll see you both in the morning and we’ll set up visitation with kids in the meantime.” Rena got up and so did everyone else. 

“It was so nice meeting you both.” Jim shook their hands again. 

“It was great meeting you too. Goodnight.” Rena walked out the door. 

“Goodnight, Ellison and Sandburg. Good luck tomorrow.” Rick joined his wife on the porch. 

“Night guys, we’ll see you in the bullpen tomorrow.” Joel hugged them both and walked out. 

“I love you guys so much. I want this to happen.” Connor hugged them both. 

“It’s going to happen Connor. I swear, we’re going to make it work.” Jim smiled as she walked out the door too. 

As soon as the front door was closed and Jim heard the car drive off, he picked Blair up and said, “Holy fucking shit.”

“Better start watching that fucking language.” Blair laughed as they took the tablet to each room and started making plans. 

The following day, they filled out all of the forms and got everything done they needed to for Rena. 

“Guys, I set up a meeting with the kids today. Would you like to meet them this soon?” Rena could tell the men were nervous. 

“Yeah, I’d like to meet them as soon as possible.” Jim answered 

“Me too. I’m a little scared, but anxious too.” Blair said nervously. 

“They know you are a same sex couple. The four year old, could care less, but the five year old thinks it’s weird.” Rena replied. 

“Okay, when can we see them?” Jim questioned. 

“You can go now. The children said they wanted to meet you.” Rena hoped this was going to be all right. She gave the address to the men and walked them to the elevator, wishing them luck. 

“Jim, you scared?”

“Yup.”

“Why don’t you look scared?”

“Because I’m trying to stay tough for you, Chief.”

“What if I need you to hold me right now?”

“Then I would pull over like this and shut the car off and take you in my arms and hold you.” Jim said smiling. 

“Okay, this is helping big time, hot stuff.” Blair smiled up at Jim’s happy face. 

“Chief, you’re sure of this?”

“Never been more sure. Jim we want a family. We need a family.” 

“Okay, let’s get over there and meet these kids. Chances are, the little girl would be fine with us, but maybe not the boy.”

“Jim, they can’t separate them. Can they?”

“Chief, I would never ask them to. Both or none.” Jim reached for Blair’s hand as they pulled up to the group home. 

Jim knocked and the woman opened it and said, “What do you want?”

“I’m Jim Ellison and this is Blair Sandburg. We’re here to see Drake and Jade Andrews.”

“Oh of course. Come on in and I’ll bring them out. I almost forgot, my name is Bridget Miller and if you need me just holler.”

Blair whispered Sentinel soft, “I wouldn’t holler for her if my life depended on it.”

“I couldn’t agree more, Chief.”

Bridget shoved the two children into the room and Jim could sense they were scared to death. 

“Ms. Miller. Maybe you’d like to stay until the children aren’t afraid of us.” Jim recommended.

“She don’t need to stay. We ain’t fraid of nothing.” Drake grabbed his sister and pulled her to the sofa. 

Jade looked up at Jim and said, “You’re really big.”

“Would you like me to sit down more at your level?” Jim asked. 

“Yeah, that would be good. I like you.” Jade touched Jim’s face quickly and smiled. 

“How come you’re so short?” Drake asked Blair. 

“You know I ask myself that every single day. I’m sure that Jim does too.” Blair smiled, but Drake didn’t smile at all. 

“Okay, let’s cut to the chase. You don’t like us, I take it? Well that’s fine. We would never force you to visit with us. We were just going to take you to lunch and get to know you. But we don’t want to push you in any way.” Jim looked at both of their little faces and saw fear. // They’re afraid we’ll leave them. I think Drake is throwing up a front. //

“So do you want to go to lunch with us, or do you want us to leave?” Jim said it more forcefully this time. 

“I want to go to lunch. Please let me go, Drake.” Jade begged. 

“Go, I don’t care.” Drake just sat on the sofa and pouted. 

“Well the thing is, Drake. We don’t take one. We take both of you, or neither of you.” Blair explained. 

“Fine, I’ll go to lunch.” Drake got up and stormed out the door. 

Jade grabbed Blair’s hand and said, “Do you like me?”

“Yes, very much. We like Drake too.” Blair held her little hand somewhat tighter. 

Jim told Bridget where they would be for lunch and when they’d be back.

Jim took them over to the SUV and both kids had their mouths open. “Like SUV’s”

“They’re all right.” Drake said shortly. 

“We love them, Drake. Remember that one man that came to see us, he had one. But he didn’t want both of us. Remember?” Jade was upsetting Drake, Jim could tell. 

The guys helped get the kids into the SUV and buckled in. “Where to boss?” Jim said laughing. 

They ended up at Subway shop. They sat in a booth and Jim sat with Drake and Blair sat with Jade. They ate in silence until Jade asked, “So do you guys kiss?”

“Jade, you’re not supposed to ask that stuff.” Drake was very angry at her. “I’m sorry she asked it.”

She had big tears in her eyes and Jim figured he was going to have to try something now. He reached across the table and kissed Blair. “Yes, I do kiss him. I love him with all of my heart.”

“I do too. He’s very cute.” Jade said snuggling in closer. 

“Sorry if it bothers you, Drake.” Jim said as he picked his sandwich up and began to eat again. 

“I don’t care. I never said I cared. You don’t like me do you? No one ever does.” And little Drake Andrews started to cry. Jim pulled him into his lap and held him very tight. “I like you a lot Drake. If you like us, you’ll go with us.” Jim whispered. 

“I do like you. I like Blair too. Could we come with you today?” Drake looked so heartbroken. 

“We have to get it okay’d with a judge and then you can live with us. So we have to wait. It might be another couple of weeks.”

“I want to go with you now. Please? No one has ever wanted me.” Drake cried so sadly Jim was getting upset. 

“Blair, could you call you know who and see if we could work something out?” Jim begged. 

They were sitting there 20 minutes later and Jim’s cell phone went off. “Ellison.”

“Hi Jim. I just talked to the judge and he said, it won’t be finalized, but you can take the kids with you now. They can help you get the rooms ready and all of that. I’ll call the woman at the house and tell her you’re taking them home.” Rena was so happy. 

“Thanks, Rena. Talk to you later.” Jim put his cell phone away and said, “Well who would like to live with us?”

Drake put his little hand up along with Jade’s. “That was Rena, the caseworker for you and she said the judge said we could take you home for now until everything is final.” Jim hugged Drake close to him. 

Jade got up and walked across the table and jumped into Jim’s lap. “Thank you, Jim. We love you too.”

Drake wasn’t going to do anything babyish like walk across the table so he went underneath the table and snuggled into Blair’s lap. “Thanks Blair, we love you too.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Jim said picking Jade up and swinging her over his shoulder, hearing little giggles as he walked. 

Blair said, “Want me to pick you up, or you want to walk on your own?”

“How bout you hold my hand?” Drake asked as he put his hand into Blair’s. 

Once they picked their things up, which wasn’t much, they went shopping. Both kiddo’s got new clothing and new shoes. They picked out their beds while they were there. 

Inside the SUV, Jim said, “I need to explain to you about where we live right now. We have a new house, but there is no furniture in it yet. We still need to decorate and things like that. So we’re going to stay at the loft, and you two will have to share a room for a short time. Can you live with that?”

“We always shared a room, Jim.” Drake said quietly. “We don’t mind at all, do we Jade.”

“Nope, I don’t mind.”

When they got to the loft, they were oohing and awwing all over the place. While Jim started dinner that night, Blair told them stories about all of the wall hangings. 

“Do you want help?” Drake looked up at a busy Jim in the kitchen. 

“Sure, drag a chair over and you can help me stir the gravy.”

Drake did just that and the two of them worked side by side until dinner was done. Jim kept looking up and could see that Jade was completely taken with Blair. 

“Blair and Jade, would you like to set the table?” Jim asked sweetly. 

“Jim, I could have done that.” Drake said and got off the chair and ran into the bedroom. 

Jim hung his head and wanted to kick himself. “Chief, I don’t know what to do.”

“Well you better figure it out.” Blair said and went back to reading with Jade. 

“Drake, get your butt out here and help me set the table. Those lazy’s aren’t going to help me at all.”

Drake came running out and said, “Hand me the stuff. I’m ready.”

After dinner the kids watched cartoons, while Jim and Blair did the dishes. They both sat down on the sofa and Jade crawled into Blair’s lap first thing. Jim looked over at Drake and saw a child that was afraid to get too close. 

“Hey Drake, how about some snuggling before we go to bed?” And just like that he was in Jim’s lap. Jim found out that four and five year olds love to snuggle. 

The two men put them to bed and went upstairs to sleep, because they were exhausted. “What do you think Chief? We gonna be able to do this every single day?”

“Damn right. These are our children, Jim. I love you, big man.” Blair kissed Jim until he couldn’t get his breath. 

“Jade is crying.” Jim whispered. 

“I don’t hear her.” 

“Go get her, she’s scared. Bring them both up here. They’re scared.” Jim said. 

“Jim, I don’t know. What if they tell us that’s a bad thing to do?”

“Well, we’ll have to worry about that when the time comes. Want me to get them?”

“Let’s go together, except I get Drake this time.” Blair said running down the stairs. “Chief, you want to put some PJs on?”

“Tee shirt and boxers are good enough.” Jim picked Jade up and headed for bed. Blair picked Drake up and they talked as Blair slowly walked up the stairs.

They all snuggled into bed and that was the last thing Jim or Blair heard all night. 

The next morning Jim was in the shower and got his first embarrassing parent experience. He wasn’t really paying attention to anything and the next thing he knew Jade opened the shower curtain and said, “Can I shower with you?”

Jim stood there for a moment and called Blair. “My dad used to have one of those. Yours is bigger though.” Jade said cutely. Jim didn’t think anything could get worse. 

Blair walked into the room and started to laugh. “Jade honey, you can’t come in the bathroom with Jim is in here. Big people have to be naked alone.” Blair picked her up and walked out. 

“Shit… shit… shit…” Jim was hitting his head on the side of the shower and Blair walked in. “It’s okay, babe. You need to lock. Or put that thing away.” Blair laughed all the way out the door.

Jim was almost done and Drake walked in. “Blair said I can shower with you, since we both have penises.” And a little naked Drake stepped in and didn’t bother looking at Jim at all. Before long Jim was fine with showering with him. Jim dried off and then got Drake all dry and they walked with towels around their waists. 

“You kids are too cute.” Blair said as he slapped Jim’s ass going by. 

Jim and Drake got dressed for the day. First Rena was coming over to explain some things. Then they were going shopping so they could start on the house. 

Jim walked downstairs and found a sad Jade. “What’s up precious?”

“I don’t have anyone to shower with. Drake got to shower with you, why can’t I? He told me it’s cuz I ain’t go no penis. How do I get one of them?”

Jim couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. “You can’t have one sweetie. You’re going to be a mom some day, so that’s wonderful. Men and their penises don’t get to have babies. But you’re lucky. You do.”

“But I really, really want one.” Jade stood up and stomped her foot. 

Blair walked through and said, “Did I miss something?”

Drake smiled and said, “Jade’s throwing a fit cuz she can’t get no penis.”

“I don’t even want to know. Jim, did you remember to call Simon?”

“No, I’ll do it now.”

“Banks.”

“Hey Simon, things are going a little faster than we had thought. So we’re taking a few days off. We already have the kids. Hang on, sir. Jade wants to say hello. She’s four.”

“Hi Simon. Do they have penises there?”

Jim grabbed the phone and said, “Sorry about that. She discovered that we all have penises and she’s not a happy camper about not having one.

“Well take her over and show her Elli when you change her. Then she’ll feel like a big sister or something. But for Christ’s sake, don’t let her ask people if they have penises there.” Simon laughed as he hung up the phone. 

Jim then called Megan to tell her the news. “I knew it. I knew this was meant to be.”

“Jade wants to speak to you about penises.”

“Well that’s nice. Put her on.” Connor was laughing as Jade got on. “So Megan do you have a penis?”

“No sweetheart, smart people don’t have them. Only the dumb ones keep their penis. So if your’s is gone, that means you’re real smart.”

“Okay, I don’t want one then. Thank you. Goodbye.” Jade put the phone down and walked over to Jim and slapped him right in his penis. Then she did it again. 

“Jade, you don’t do that to Jim. Why would you hit him there?” Blair asked. 

“Megan told me only smart ones have no penis. I was trying to knock his off.”

“Baby, she’s telling a story. Right Drake?” They looked over and Drake was hitting himself seeing if it came off. 

“Drake, they don’t come off. Ever.” Jim was pissed now. 

Jim called Megan back and said, “She’s warped for life now. She just tried to knock mine off. I hope you’re happy. Then Blair yelled at her for doing it and made her cry. Drake at the moment is trying different ways to get his off. You want to fix this?”

“Put her on.”

“What? Sniff, sniff, sniff.”

“Sugar, I was teasing you about penises. I love them. My husband has one. And that’s how we were able to have a baby girl. They’re very important, so never smack Jim’s again. And tell your brother to stop hitting his, too.” 

“Bye megan.” Jade took off upstairs and they could hear the wailing all over the loft. Jim picked the phone up and said, “What? What did you tell her now?”

“I’ll talk to you later.” Jim walked up the stairs and felt very old suddenly. 

“Jade come sit with me.”

“You and Blair will have a baby. Then you won’t let me and Drake stay anymore.”

“Honey, me and Blair can’t have a baby. You have to have a woman to have one. We’re both guys. So you and Drake are safe forever.” Jade jumped on top of him and said, “Oh goody.”

“That’s what I think. How about breakfast?” Jim took her hand and they walked down to begin breakfast. 

As he walked by Drake, he was still smacking himself on his penis. “Drake I need to see you for a moment.” Jim walked into the bathroom. 

Drake walked in with his head hanging. “I’m really trying to knock it off.”

“Drake, you don’t want to get rid of it. Believe me, they’re really nice when they get older. I love mine.” Jim smiled at him as Drake looked in that area. 

“You have one like mine?” Drake asked. 

“Well sort of. Mine’s bigger. They grow as a young boy grows. And Auntie Megan was joking about knocking them off to be smart.” Jim smiled at him again. “And you’ve seen mine.”

“Can I see yours?”

“You’ve seen mine. It was only a few hours ago.”

“Is it still there?” Drake was pouting just like Blair. 

“Of course it’s still there.”

“Well I’ve already seen it, why can’t I see it again?”

“When you get older, you’ll have your own to see.”

“Will you show it to me when I’m big?” Drake smiled. 

“No. Drake, yours will be big and you’ll enjoy it. You don’t need to see mine. Take my word for it.” Jim was getting frustrated. 

“Okay, I believe you.” Drake hugged and then ran. 

“Blair, could I see you for a moment.”

“Yeah, what’s up, man?”

“I just got a hug and he copped a feel while he was there to see if I still had my penis since this morning earlier.” Jim burst out laughing. 

“These kids are going to be a handful aren’t they?” Blair hugged his man and then kissed him. 

“Blair, can you pick me up?” Jade got in between the two men and they began to laugh again. 

“Yup, they’re going to keep us hopping.” Jim walked out and started breakfast, again. 

Two hours later Rena got there and sat down. Jim told her what had happened so far. 

“Well Jim, I think you’re doing a good job. It all comes to you with practice. Now let me fill you both in on what’s going on. First of all I talked to the judge and nothing is final, until he signs it. But he was impressed with your paperwork. We got everything back already. Next, it will take about a month for everything, but the judge is good with you two having the kids. He wants you to move soon, so they can be in that area for their school and so on. You have a month to get all of this together. It’s going to be a lot of work. Do you think you can handle it?” Rena asked. 

Jim and Blair looked at the kids who looked scared to death. “Yeah, we can handle it. We’ve got two little helpers, right gang?” Blair asked cheerfully. 

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.” Drake and Jade both jumped into their laps and there was a lot of giggling going on. 

When Rena left she had left the birth certificates with them. Jim looked at them and smiled. Drake Jameson Andrews and Jades was Jade Claire Andrews. It was like they were meant for Jim and Blair. Jim showed them to Blair and saw the tears in his lovers eyes. They were their family. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 16


	17. Sullivan's Pub Part 17

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 17  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 10/04/02  
Category: Drama/Humor 

 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here? I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Back to a little serious. But hopefully there will be a little bit of fun in here too.

Story Notes: If anyone needs the other   
ones, let me know. My page only goes to Part 7 because Tripod won't let me upload anything anymore. Don't even get me started or this will be longer than the damn story. 

Summary: How are Jim and Blair adapting to being fathers? How are the children adapting to being Jim and Blair’s?

Warnings: m/m, angst/angst/and more angst and then some laughs. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sullivan’s Pub 17

By Patt

Jim found it hard to believe that he was a family man now. He not only had a family, but had a headache. Two children were a lot harder than they looked. Blair never complained to him, so Jim felt like he should never complain to Blair either.

How long had they had the kids? Shit, it’s two months now. Time really does fly. 

Jim drove into the driveway and saw the kids looking out the window waiting to pounce on him as soon as he walked through the door. 

Jim sat and rubbed his temples and didn’t get out of the SUV. How long had it been since he and Blair had sex? Shit, how long since they had even had time to just hold each other? Too damn long. 

Jim heard the kids come out the truck and stand next to it. Jim took a deep breath and got out and the kids jumped all over him hollering the entire time. 

“Jade and Drake. Let’s let Jim get in the house.” Blair took Jade and blew a kiss to Jim. Jim bent down and picked up Drake. 

“How was your day at school, Drake?” Jim asked. 

“I hate it. I don’t want to go back, but Blair is going to make me.” Drake had tears in his eyes. 

“Why do you hate it, Drake?”

“They say stupid things. I hate the teacher.” Drake stomped his foot. 

“Drake, don’t say hate. You can say you’re angry with her, but don’t say hate.” Jim tried to stay stern.

“She said that I can’t bring you on Sunday to the breakfast, because you and Blair aren’t my dad.” Drake then walked into his room and could be heard crying. 

“She wouldn’t say that would she, Chief?”

“I would hope not. I’ll call and see if I can get a hold of her.” Blair went and started making phone calls, while Jim went in to calm Drake. 

Jim sat on his bed and just waited. “Could you be my dad?”

“We’ll have to see what the judge says first, partner. But if he says it’s okay, then that would be great.” Jim found his lap filled with one happy little Drake. 

The doorbell rang and Drake jumped down to see who was there. Jim laid back on Drakes bed for a power nap. 

“Uncle Bri. Uncle Bri.” Drake yelled and jumped into his arms. “Where’s Uncle Henry?”

“He’ll be by another day. Where’s your dad?” 

“Which one?” Drake said smiling. 

“Daddy Jim.” Rafe smiled back and followed as he led him to his room. Rafe laughed softly when he saw the sleeping man on Drake’s bed. 

“He’s having headaches and he’s tired a lot. I hope he doesn’t give us back.” Drake started out of the room and Jim called out, “Drake come here.”

Drake crawled on the bed and Jim cuddled for a few minutes and he said, “I’m never giving you back.”

“I love you, Daddy Jim.” He then proceeded to jump off the bed and run off to play. 

“What’s up, Rafe?”

“Henry and I broke up and I just needed someone to talk to.” Rafe sat down and was a picture of depression. 

“Tell me what happened.” Jim was getting more tired by the moment. 

“Jim, you look really tired. I’ll talk to you on another day.”

“Why don’t you talk to Blair. He would love it. I have to have more than a power nap.” Jim laughed as he rolled over and fell asleep. 

Rafe walked out and found Blair making dinner. “Hey Rafe. Do you know if something happened at work after I left? Jim came home tired and cranky.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Rafe tasted the sauce that Blair was stirring. 

“So what’s wrong? Did you guys break up?”

“How do you know these things?” Rafe was always shocked when Blair guessed things. 

“Because you’re looking all sad and weepy. I bet you were crying earlier weren’t you?” Blair pulled him into a good strong hug and Rafe gladly went. 

“He wants a family now. And I don’t think we’re ready for it.”

“Well then you probably aren’t. Did he say that you had to have a family?” Blair wondered aloud. 

“Yup, he’s moving out of my house at this very moment.” Rafe has tears dropping down his face. 

“Well Rafe do you want Henry? Because if you do, you’re going to have to grow up.” 

“Yes, I do. But I don’t want kids.” Rafe looked at the floor. 

“Why not? You love our kids. You’re great with them. So why not?”

“I don’t want to share Henry. And I know I would. I asked Jim the other day when the last time he had sex with you and he couldn’t remember.” Rafe looked sadly at Blair. 

“Well we decided we have to work on this family part first. Was he complaining?” Rafe could tell that Blair was hurt. 

“NO, I asked him. He didn’t say a word. But Blair, he’s unhappy. You can tell.”

“Well that’s too fucking bad, isn’t it?” Blair stormed into Drake’s bedroom and yelled, “Jim did you want dinner or not?”

“Yeah, babe. I want dinner. What’s wrong?” Jim wiped the sleep from his eyes. 

“Well it seems you have the problems. Not me. I’m happy with working out our family life, but I guess you’re not.” Blair had tears in his eyes. 

Drake and Jade walked into the room and said, “Daddy Jim, please don’t leave us.”

“Kids, I’m not leaving. I don’t even know what’s going on.” Jim grabbed Blair and pulled him down on his lap. “What’s going on, babe?”

“Rafe said that you said you couldn’t remember the last time, you know…” Blair looked and sounded pitiful.

“Blair, I can’t. They were asking and I told the truth. Did that embarrass you?” Jim pulled away from Blair to see his face. 

“Can we eat?” Jade said pulling Blair off of Jim’s lap. 

“Sure, let’s set the table kids. Ask Uncle Bri if he wants to stay for dinner.” Blair said as he scooted them out of the bedroom. 

Rafe did stay and they all had a very nice dinner. Rafe helped with dishes, while Jim gave baths to both of the kids. 

“So do you like the preschool that Jade goes to? And how about Drakes school?” Rafe asked as he wiped the dishes. 

“Love both of them. We’ve had real good luck.” Blair wiped down the counter and said, ”Rafe could you stay with the kids tonight?”

“You gonna give him some nookie?” Rafe laughed. 

“I’d like to. He needs some down time. What do you say?”

“Sure, go for it. Go neck in the car. I’ll get them in bed and everything will be fine.” Rafe went to find Jim to tell him he was leaving. 

Jim walked out and said, “We’re leaving the kids with Rafe? The same Rafe who said he doesn’t want kids?”

“He’s great with them. Knock it off, Jim.”

Once in the SUV, Jim said, “I’m sorry babe. For saying that to Rafe. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you more than anything.”

“You’re so forgiven. I’ve missed you too big man. I want you bad.” Blair pointed to a Motel 8 and Jim pulled in. “I’m only worth a Motel 8?” Jim asked looking at the rundown place. 

“No, I just wanted the fucking parking lot.” Blair was on Jim in a second and began to kiss him until Jim forgot where he was. 

Both men jumped as there was a loud tap on the window. “Get a room or get out of here.” The manager walked away. 

“Well that was embarrassing. Busted by a minimum wage night manager.” Blair said giggling. 

“I know just the place.” Jim took off and Blair didn’t say a word. They pulled up to Prospect and Blair said, “Jim, what are you doing?”

“I kept this place in case we needed it for anything.”

“And didn’t tell me?” Blair looked hurt. 

“I just decided the other day. Sorry, Blair.”

“Okay, I’m over it. Let’s get upstairs.” Blair was out and running. 

“And I wonder why I’m fucking tired. Chase the kids and then it’s time to chase Blair.” Jim muttered as he walked up the stairs. 

“Better hurry up Jim. I’m almost done.” Blair loved to tease him. 

Then it was Jim’s turn to run. He got inside the loft and a sadness over took him. “I miss it.”

“Me too, Jim. But I wouldn’t trade what we have.”

“Yeah, me either. We can keep this as our make-out place. How does that sound?” Jim pulled Blair up to the bedroom and they began to do just that. 

Two hours later, they were back at their house and Rafe was sleeping on the sofa. “Rafe…” Jim said softly. 

“Sorry guys, I was tired. Did you have fun?”

“Oh yeah, we had fun. I want you to do me a favor.” Jim asked. 

“Sure, anything.” Rafe answered. 

“I want you to go home and make love to Henry and tell him you would love to have a family. We’ll help with the time away.” Jim pulled him into a hug. 

“I talked to him on the phone after you left and we decided to go to that woman you and Sandburg went to.”

“So everything is fine?” Blair asked hopefully. 

“Yeah, he didn’t even pack. He was busy crying. We cried together on the phone and I told him I’d be home tonight.” Rafe got up and hugged Jim and Blair and added, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Blair asked. 

“For being our friends. We love ya.” Rafe walked out the door and didn’t wait for any reply. 

Jim followed him out to the car and said, “We love you too, Bri. The kids do too.”

“I know Jim. And those kids are great. See you tomorrow.”

Jim got ready for bed and joined his sleeping love. He shook Blair and said, “Babe, I forgot all about the phone calls. What happened with his teacher?”

“Only one of us can go. That’s why he was upset. But I told her that you would be there.” Blair whispered this. 

“Not fair. Why should I be there?”

“Because he favors you, Jim. It’s okay. Really, I don’t mind.”

“Well I do. I’m going to stay home that morning and read to Jade. And you’re going with Drake. Got it?”

“Yes, boss. I have it. I love you Jim.”

“I love you Blair.” 

Jim felt a hand in his that was small and looked up to Drake. “Daddy Jim, I had a bad dream.”

“Wake up Daddy Blair. He’s good with dreams.” Jim pushed him over to Blair’s side and then pretended to go back to sleep. 

“Daddy Blair?”

“Yes honey?”

“I had a really bad dream. Can you sleep with me?” Drake begged so pitifully, Jim knew Blair wouldn’t be able to turn him down. 

“Yes, I’ll sleep with you, Drake. Come on honey.”

Jim listened to them get settled and started to go back to sleep. // Hey it’s kind of nice having the whole damn bed to myself. Maybe I could talk Jade into having one tomorrow. // A man gets a little sex and his mind goes wild. 

Jim was in the middle of a wonderful dream of Blair fucking his brains out and he was awakened by Drake screaming, “Daddy Jim. Wake up. Guess what?”

Jim rolled over so not everyone saw his boner. “What?”

Blair walked into the room and said, “Did you wake him up?”

“Honestly Blair I was sleeping.” Jim answered. 

“I was talking to Drake and you know it.”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I was excited and wanted to tell him to get up.” Drake said sadly. 

“I was already up.” Jim said sadly. 

“Okay, Drake go finish breakfast and I’ll bring Daddy Jim in a minute.”

As soon as Drake walked out, Blair locked the door and flipped Jim over and sucked him off faster than he ever had. Jim threw a pillow over his face so his screams wouldn’t be so loud. He came with a roar and pulled Blair down for a kiss. 

“What the hell was that?”

“Jim if you gotta ask, you’re really out of practice.”

“Blair, why haven’t we been doing this before?”

“I was nervous. I feel more comfortable now.”

“You don’t feel comfortable. In fact, you’re hard as a rock. Come here and let me take care of that.”

There was a little knock at the door and Jade said, “Daddy Blair, I’m waiting.”

“Daddy Blair will be there in a few minutes Jade.” Jim proceeded to go down on Blair and suck the life right out of him. Blair did the same thing that Jim did, he kept that pillow over his mouth as he got close and finally came. 

“Thank you, big man.”

“Thank you, Chief.”

When Jim got into the kitchen, Drake said, “Guess what? Blair is going to the Fathers Banquet with me.”

“Well that’s great, Drake. I’m glad you’re going to have fun.” Jim said as he realized he didn’t know it was a Father’s Banquet. 

“Daddy Blair said that we’re going to have our own Banquet when we get back on Sunday.” Drake hugged Jim’s legs. 

“That’s because Daddy Blair is a good, good man.” Jim blew a kiss to him. 

“I hate not having a penis.” Jade stormed into her room. 

“Oh god, not again.” Jim sat down and put his head into his hands. 

“She thinks that she’d get to go to the Banquet if she had a penis.” Drake explained. 

“I’ll be right back.” Jim walked into Jade’s room and sat on her bed. 

“Hey sweetheart. It has nothing to do with having a penis. I have one, and I can’t go.”

“Maybe yours isn’t good enough.” Jade said seriously. 

“Well gosh, I hope it’s good enough.” Jim began to think about it then.

“Daddy Blair? Is Daddy Jim’s penis good enough?” Jade called out and Jim could feel the heat rising on his cheeks. 

“Yes missy. His penis is just dandy.” Blair called back. 

“I guess you’re right then. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you have one or not.” Jade crawled into his lap and began to pretend she was a spider crawling up his body. 

When they dropped them off at school, they went to work. Jim was never so glad to get somewhere they would not be discussing penises. 

IN the bullpen, Connor walked up and said, “How about a Sullivan’s Pub tonight?”

“We don’t have a sitter yet. Don’t know anyone well enough.” Blair said quickly. 

Brown walked by and said, “My sister would do it. You know her you guys. She loves kids.”

Jim looked at Blair and Blair looked at Jim and neither of them said a word. “It was just an idea.” Brown walked away with his shoulders slumped. 

“Henry, which sister is it?” Blair asked. 

“The one you tried to date for ages, Sandburg.”

“She’s really nice Jim. Let’s ask her.”

“Ask her what? If she wants to date you?” Jim glared at Brown and Blair. 

“He’s so damn cute when he’s jealous. I want her to watch the kids tonight. We need to get back into the swing.” Blair wasn’t going to take no for an answer. 

“Fine, set it up.” Jim walked over to his desk and began working. 

“Oh I can tell he’s going to be fun tonight.” Connor teased Blair. 

“Well he’s never left the kids, other than with Rafe the other night.” Blair said quietly. 

“If you don’t want me to fucking hear, go to another building.” Jim slammed his keyboard. 

Everyone started laughing as they walked back to their desks. 

That evening, Brown’s sister showed up promptly at 6:00 ready to make dinner for the children. 

“Linda this is Jim Ellison.”

“Hi Jim, glad to meet you.” She shook hands with him and then she looked over at the kids. 

“Drake and Jade this is Linda. She’s Uncle Henry’s sister.” Blair said. 

“Really? We love Uncle Henry.” Drake moved closer as if being a sister to Henry made everything all right. 

“He loves you too. He talks about you all the time.” Linda sat on the sofa and had a lap full of kids very quickly. 

“Drake and Jade, are you really okay with us going out tonight?” Jim asked again. 

“Yes. Have fun, Daddy Jim and Daddy Blair.” Jade said and went back to a game they were playing. 

“Linda, all of the information you’ll need is on the counter. We keep our phones with us at all times. Call for anything.” Jim almost seemed desperate. 

“Blair, get him out of here. He’s having a nervous breakdown in front of the kids.” She began to laugh and so did Blair. 

“Come on tough stuff. Let’s get to Sullivan’s.”

They got to Sullivan’s and everyone was waiting for them. Sully grabbed Jim and said, “I really need to talk to you.”

Jim looked at her oddly and said, “So talk.”

“Privately.”

Jim pushed her into the women’s restroom and blocked the door. “Okay, now talk.”

“Jim, I’m pregnant.” Sully looked panicked. 

“That’s great news. Congratulations.” Jim hugged her and was thrilled. 

“Simon will leave me. I just know it.” Sully then began to cry. 

“I’ll be right back. I have to get the big guns.”

“You’re bringing Blair?” she asked sniffing. 

“Yeah, hang tight for a moment.” Jim walked out and found Simon talking to Joel and said, “Hey Simon could I have a word with you please?”

“Sure.”

“Simon your wife is crying in the restroom right now.”

“What the hell did I do now? She’s not my wife yet.” Simon looked upset, more than angry. 

“You didn’t do anything. And why isn’t she your wife? She’s pregnant and she thinks you’ll leave her.” Jim gauged Simon’s look. 

“She’s pregnant?”

“I think I just said that, Simon.”

“Fuck… I don’t want a baby at my age.” Simon was beginning to pace now. “Now everyone will expect us to get married. This is going to be like with Joan.”

“Then tell her to get out of your life.” Jim said and walked away. 

Jim could hear Sully crying pretty hard in the restroom and still no Simon. // Fuck… //

Sam walked up and said, “Hey how ya doing?”

“Great Sam. Listen, could you do me a favor? Sully’s in the restroom crying and I want you to calm her down.”

“Why is she crying, Jim?”

“She’s pregnant.” Jim whispered. 

“Pregnant? That’s wonderful.” Sam yelled out. 

“Who’s pregnant?” Megan asked. 

“Jim said that Sully is.” Sam said happily. 

“Why would Jim know?” Connor asked. 

Jim sat down and put his head on the table. 

Blair walked up and said, “Something you want to explain to us?”

“I hate you all.” Jim said without lifting his head from that hard table. 

“I’ll just go and get her really fast and tell you my news.” Sam ran off to get Sully. 

“Sully, pull yourself together. We’re both pregnant.” Sam said as she hugged Sully. 

“But your husband will want this baby. Simon said no.” Sully was so sad. 

“Then you’ll move in with us. Now come on.” Sam pulled her out. 

Everyone sat down and got ready for the survey. Jim called out, “Connor, how is that sweet baby?”

“He’s fine. Thank you for asking.”

Laughter broke out all over the table. 

“Seriously, how is Ellie. We didn’t see her last weekend, it seemed off.”

“She’s great Jim and she misses you too. Not to mention how crazy she is over the kids.” Connor smiled. 

“Where is Simon?” Joel asked. 

“Who knows?” Connor replied. 

“Who cares?” Jim said. 

“Something you want to share with us, Jim?” Blair said quickly. 

“No, let’s get this thing started.”

“First my news. Go ahead Dan, you tell them.” Sam smiled sweetly at her man. 

“Sam and I are going to have a baby.” Dan was blushing. 

“Congratulations.” Rafe said as he hugged both of them. 

Jim sat with his arm around Sully as she tried not to fall apart. He looked up and saw Simon looking at her. He finally walked over and got down so that he could talk to her. She went into his arms and Simon held her for awhile.

He whispered, “Sully I don’t want to have a child.”

She got up, and walked out of Sullivan’s Pub. “Hey, where is Sully going? We’re just about to start.” Connor called out. 

“You’ll have to excuse us tonight.” Simon got up and started to walk to the door. 

“You chicken shit. I can’t believe I’m your friend.” Jim yelled. 

“She knew I didn’t want any children and she did it anyway. Why would she do that?” Simon wondered aloud. 

“Because she was sad and wanted one. I told her to.” Jim got ready to be slugged. 

“You fucking asshole. What right do you have to tell her what to do with our lives. She should have talked to me.” Simon shoved Jim back a few feet. 

“She did talk to you. You said no.”

“So because I said no, she went behind my back. I hate you, Ellison. And I hate her.” Simon started to walk away and Sam called out. 

“She was on the pill Simon. She was.”

“She was?” Simon looked like he was about to cry.

“Yes, she told me she was shocked.” Sam moved over to Simon and said, “It was an accident. Do you want her to get rid of it?”

“No… I would never want her to do that. Let me go call her.” Simon headed out to the parking lot to make his call and Sam picked her cell up to call Sully.

“Hello?” Came the sad answer. 

“Sully, when Simon calls you, tell him you were on the pill. He’s okay with it now.” Sam hung her cell up and Dan glared at her. 

“What?”

“You just told her to lie to her husband to be.” Dan frowned as he spoke. 

“Dan, he’s wild about her. He loves her to death. Do you want them to break up?”

“No, I guess not.” Dan said and leaned in for a kiss. 

Blair smiled and said, “While Simon is out there kissing ass, Connor why don’t you fill us in on what’s going on with Miss Ellie.”

“That’s Princess Ellie. She’s working on the Queen status. She’s such a monster but we love her anyhow. 

“We do too.” Jim chimed in. 

“We all knew that.” Everyone said at once. 

Rafe asked, “So how do Jade and Drake do being around Miss Ellie?”

“They love her to death. Honestly, if they don’t quit asking why we can’t have one, we’re going to whip them.” Blair laughed as he spoke. 

“Just think, soon we’ll have two more babies in the family and maybe more.” Jim said. 

“Who else?” Connor asked jumping up. 

“Rafe and I are going on that list that Jim and Blair was on.” Henry spoke softly, like he was unsure of himself. 

“We brought papers for you all to fill out and then we take to her office.” Rafe said quietly. 

“Bring them on, Bri and Henry. I say we fill them out now.” Jim laughed as Rafe jumped up and to go and get them. 

“Thanks guys.” Brown said shyly. 

“We’re all family, H. Remember that.” Connor said as she took the sheet from Rafe as he walked in. 

Simon walked in and said, “What are we doing?”

Jim filled him in and he sat down to fill his sheet out. Everyone got busy doing it and handed them back to Rafe. 

Henry took them all out to the car when finished and Connor said, “Why don’t we do a little Sullivan’s Pub, until Ms. Sullivan get’s back?”

“That’s a good idea, Connor. Thank you. It’ll take my mind off things.” Simon pulled up closer to the table to start. 

“Hang on, I have to call the sitter.” Jim pulled his cell phone out. 

“Put it back, Ellison. She’ll call us if she needs us.” Blair was warning him nicely. 

“Fine.” Jim pouted almost as well as Blair did.   
=====================================================  
“Here we go everyone. Do you know anyone like this and if so, what should you say to them?

“They eat the M&Ms in color order.”

Blair: Jim alert. Jim alert. 

Jim: I do not.

Simon: Jim, you do. You only eat red ones together and brown ones together. 

Jim: You’re all big fat liars. 

Connor: Anyone else do this?

Rafe: Not that I know of.

Brown: I like the all mixed up, kind of like me.

Simon: I don’t eat them. 

Blair: Good for you, Simon. Neither do I.

Simon: I don’t eat them because I don’t like them. Instead I eat Turtles.

Blair: Geeze, you eat turtles?

Simon: Not that kind. The chocolate candy kind. 

Sam: I eat them all. 

Dan: She does. She loves candy. 

Blair: You might have to watch that, Sam.

Sam: Why?

Blair: No reason. 

Jim: (Laughing his ass off.) I love not being in trouble for a change.  
====================================================

Connor: Here is the next one, you fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper. 

Everyone’s hands went up at once, except for Jim’s. 

Blair: Pick me, Pick me. 

Simon: You watched it again didn’t you?

Blair: Of course I did Simon, I have babies now.

Connor: Okay, you first Blair. 

Blair: Jim does this.

Jim: Stop saying this shit. I do not. 

Blair: When you got home last night, and took your shirt off what did you do with it?

Jim: I put it in the hamper. So there. 

Blair: So you just tossed it in?

Jim: Of course not, Drake was watching, I don’t want him to think that’s what you do with dirty clothes.

Blair: What did you do with it then?

Jim: I folded it. Shit, I do, do that. Fuck…

Dan: It’s okay Jim. I do it too.

Jim: You do?

Dan: No, I was just trying to make you feel better. 

Jim: Oh fuck you, Dan. 

Sam: He does do it, Jim. So don’t feel alone. 

Brown: Are you going to be pissed off if I tell them?

Rafe: Go for it.

Brown: Bri folds everything before he puts it in there. 

Joel: I don’t think I do that, do I honeybear?

Connor: Nope. But we have three winners on this one. Unless Simon wants to admit to something. 

Simon: I don’t even know where the hamper is.

Everyone burst out laughing and they all realized that he couldn’t make it without Sully. This was good.   
=======================================================  
Connor: Okay, here is the next one, all your books, CDs, and movies have to be in alphabetical order. 

 

Jim: Okay, even Blair does this one. 

Blair: I do. 

Connor: You know, we do too. Makes it easier. 

Joel: It was my idea. Remember that honey?

Connor: Of course I do. I married a smart man. 

Rafe: Ours are in order too. 

Brown: Not because of me. I’m messy. Bri is the neat one. 

Jim: So like you’re Blair and he’s Jim? (Laughing his head off.)

Blair: He’s come so far, he just insulted himself and is proud of it.

Brown: Yeah, Jim, he’s you and I’m Blair. (Laughing too.)

Dan: Ours are in nice order. 

Sam: Who did them, Dan?

Dan: I did.

Sam: Of course you did. I don’t get into that stuff. I give all the stuff that has to be neat to Dan. 

Simon picked up his phone and called Sully. But everyone heard the phone go off, as she walked in the door. 

“Simon, go hug and kiss her.” Jim almost pushed him out of the chair. 

“I will. Give me a second. She’s beautiful isn’t she?” He walked over and took her into his arms and they kissed for a long time. 

When they got to the table Sully said, “What did I miss?”

“You didn’t miss anything honey.” Simon kissed her again. 

Jim and Blair filled her in on what she had missed so far. She was laughing her head off when she heard about the Simon not knowing where the clothes hamper was. “He doesn’t know.”

Simon: Connor, we going to do this or what?

Connor: Does anyone remind you of this? . you require no less than 200 threads per inch on your sheets. ...and they are tucked so tightly that you really could bounce a quarter on them.

Laughter broke out like mad and Jim looked around as if he thought they were all nuts. 

Jim: What are you laughing at? Doesn’t everyone do this? 

Blair: (falling off his chair while laughing)Jim, you crack me up. 

Dan: (On the floor by Blair.)Jim do you know how funny you are?

Jim: I wasn’t trying to be funny. We learned this in the service and it stuck with me. 

Blair: There were a lot of things that stuck with him.

Jim: Shut up Sandburg. They don’t allow that in the service. 

Blair: I was talking about eating.

Jim: Oh sorry babe.

Brown: So Jim, you never ever got a blow job while in the service?

Jim: excuse me, this isn’t about me. 

Brown: Spoken like a man that’s hiding something.

Jim: I am not.

Blair: Baby, just tell them, you’ll feel better.

Dan: You could whisper it to me Jim. I wouldn’t tell a soul. I would only tell real people. 

Jim: That’s so funny, I forgot to laugh. 

Simon: Jim, they’re just teasing. Besides a lot of service men suck and fuck. 

Rafe: (Falling out of his chair this time.) Good one, Captain. 

Sam: Jim, did you sleep with men back then?

Jim: Enough. I’ve had it. Could we move on?

Blair: Just tell them no and we will. 

Jim: Fine, no.

Brown: That sounded like a yes to me. 

Connor: Jim honey, is there something you want to talk to us about?

Jim: No. Either this moves on, or I go home. 

Blair: (Watching Jim out the corner of his eye.) Jim, you did didn’t you?

Jim: Chief, I really don’t want to discuss this here. 

Blair: Fine, we won’t discuss it at all. 

Jim: Chief, don’t do that.

Connor: Do what?

Jim: He’s hurt so he’s sad inside. I hate when he’s sad inside. 

Blair: Connor, could we please move on?

Connor: Sure.   
===============================================  
Connor: you alphabetize your spices.

Sam: Oh this is so Dan. 

Dan: I like order in the kitchen. 

Brown: It’s so Rafe too. 

Rafe: I love order in a kitchen. 

Simon: It’s so Sully. 

Sully: I love order in a kitchen. 

Joel: This is so Meggie. 

Connor: I love order. 

They all looked to Blair and he didn’t say a word. 

Jim: fine, I love order, I do this.

Blair: I never noticed. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Blair: Remember how the kids want to know what we do at these. Is that sentence going to go in?

Jim: Fuck you. 

Simon: Jim settle down. You’re getting angry and you’ll both say things you regret. 

Jim: I’m not at work, stop telling me what to do.

Simon: (getting as close as possible)Ellison, I’m going to make you sorry for tonight. Do you understand?

Jim: (Screaming) Sure, I once had a captain that liked to take me rough too. Is this what you’re going to do. Go ahead. Fuck me, I don’t care. 

Jim hit the ground and tried to curl into a ball. They all just stood there in shock. Blair moved over first and rubbed Jim’s back while whispering sweet things in his ear. 

“Joel, does he mean he was raped in the service?” Connor was shocked but also felt so dreadful for making light of it. 

“That would be my guess honey.” Joel pulled her close, because she needed it. 

“Sam, let’s help them get home. I think Blair needs some help talking to him.” Dan said as he headed over to Jim. 

“I’m going to take him home, Sam and Dan. Thanks, but it was my mistake and I’ll take care of it.” Simon picked Jim up and carried the big man out to his SUV. “Blair, I need you to grab Sully and drive.”

Blair grabbed Sully and they came running out. Blair started the SUV and once they were off Simon started talking to Jim. 

“Jim, I’m so sorry. I would never force you to do anything. You know that. I’m sorry that someone did in your life. They had no right. I love you and I hope you’ll forgive me.”

Jim pulled in closer to Simon and Simon knew that it was Jim’s way of saying things might work out. 

Simon looked down and saw Jim’s sad eyes watching him and he said, “It’ll be all right Jim. I’m going to fucking fix this for both of us. You take the day off tomorrow and rest.”

“Jim, we’re almost home. If the kids see Simon help you in, it’s going to scare them. Can you walk?” Blair asked. 

“Yeah.” Jim sat up and wiped his eyes. He looked at the sadness in Sully’s eyes and said to her, “It happened a long time ago, Sully. A long time ago. The ghosts don’t come back too often. They were here tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Oh honey you don’t have to be sorry. I’m off tomorrow, want me to come and hang out with you?” Sully smiled. 

“Thanks Sully, I think I need to stay with him.” Blair said coldly. 

“Sure. Sorry.” And Sully pulled back once again. 

“Sully, you have any baby names yet?” Jim asked. 

“My two favorite names are Jade and Drake. But since you used them, I’ll have to think of something else.”

Simon even laughed at her little joke. 

Blair pulled into the driveway and shut the car off. “You ready big man?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jim got out his side and walked into the house alone. 

“Blair, I think he’s far from fine.” Sully offered. 

“I think so too, Sully.” Blair said almost running into the house. 

When they walked in the door, Linda met them and said, “Mr. Ellison must not be feeling good. He went right to your room.”

“You’re right, he isn’t feeling good.” Blair said quickly. He pulled his wallet out and paid her and made sure she got to the car all right. 

Sully, Simon and Blair walked into the bedroom and Jim was lying on the bed fully clothed. 

“Jim, I’m thinking maybe we need some therapy if you still do this after all of those years.”

“They’ll take the kids away from us, Chief. You know that.”

“Baby, you need some help.” Blair climbed on the bed next to Jim. 

“I don’t. I just need you to hold me. Please, please don’t make me go for therapy. Because they will take those kids away from us. Oh shit, Drake hears me.” Jim wiped his eyes and sat up trying to get control. 

Drake stood in the doorway and saw a sad Jim and ran for him. “Daddy, don’t be sad. Please?”

“Blair, take him, please?”

“Drake, Daddy is very sad tonight. Something happened to him years ago that was horrible and every now and then he feels sad about it. Now he’s afraid to have you see him cry.”

“Daddy, go ahead and cry. I don’t care. Wanna sleep with me, Daddy?”

“Yeah, I’d like that, Drake. I’d like that a lot.” Jim got up crying softly and followed Drake into his room. 

“Sandburg that went pretty well.” Simon said patting him on the back. 

“Did you hear him call Jim Daddy?” Blair asked. 

“I thought he always did.” Sully asked. 

“No, this is the first time just daddy. It was usually Daddy Jim or Daddy Blair. I wonder what my name will be now?”

Sully could see the man in front of her trying to be all brave. But he wasn’t. He needed that place in the children’s lives, along with a good name. Sully pulled Blair into her arms and let him have a little cry. 

Simon was still trying to figure it out when he walked out and pulled Blair into his arms. “We’ll figure out the name stuff. Right now, come to bed with me and Drake.”

Simon locked up as they were leaving. “Shit, we have no car.”

“Feel like a good walk, Simon?” She stretched up to kiss him. 

“A walk sounds damn fine.”

“Boy, I hope next weeks Sullivan’s Pub Survey is better than tonight.”

“I hear ya.” Simon leaned down and kissed her and they hoped that things would be fine for everyone. Including them. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub 17


	18. Sullivan's Pub Part 18

Sullivan’s Pub 18  
Patt

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 18  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/10/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here? I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Back to a little serious. But hopefully there will be a little bit of fun in here too.

Story Notes: If anyone needs the other   
ones, let me know. My page only goes to Part 7 because Tripod won't let me upload anything anymore. Don't even get me started or this will be longer than the damn story. 

Summary: Everyone is meeting at Sullivan’s and there aren’t any problems. Yet!

Warnings: m/m, Humor, humor, humor and angst/angst/and more angst and then some laughs. 

======================================================

Sullivan’s Pub 18  
Patt

 

Jim sat at his computer, typing up a report that Blair had told him he was going to do. This was happening a lot lately. What was he doing every day?

Jim listened until he found his mate and sat and realized what Blair was doing. 

“Okay, you have to have to hear this one. He’s so fucking cute. You have to love him, you know?” Blair was asking as he told the story. 

“We do love him, Sandburg.” Rafe kidded, “now go on.”

“Okay, so he’s sitting at his desk and the phone rings and he does the usual, * Ellison * and his face drops and he throws the phone at me and takes off out the door. It was the school. Drake needed some more of his records and they wanted us to pick them up at his caseworkers office. But all Jim heard was Drake’s school and took off like a bat out of hell.”

Everyone started to laugh. Connor stood up and said, “Well I think he’s past precious.”

“I do too, that’s why I was sharing with you all.” Blair laughed as he threw his things away. 

“He can hear you, Sandy.”

“So what? It’s not like I’m saying he’s an asshole. I think he’s great. I love him to death.” Blair walked down the hall and looked at Jim and knew he had heard him. 

“Want me to take over for awhile, Jim?”

“No Sandburg I can do it myself.” Jim was hitting the keyboard very hard. 

Connor walked up and said, “Want to see the new picture I have for you, of Ellie?”

“You have to ask?” Jim pulled a chair out for her and looked at the precious baby and smiled. “She’s gorgeous, Connor. Just beautiful.”

“Thanks, that’s for your desk.” Connor then walked away. 

“Connor? What do I not count?” Blair whined. 

“I didn’t figure it would be a biggy to you.”

“Well thanks a lot, Connor.” Blair stormed off and she looked at Jim for help. 

“He’s moody today I guess. Maybe because he had all of that hard laughing to take care of in the break room.” Jim went back to his work. 

“Jim, he doesn’t mean it badly.”

“Connor, I thought I was past this in Jr. High. I just don’t want it anymore.” Jim continued his work as Connor walked off. 

Blair finally came back an hour later and said, “Still mad at me?”

“Wasn’t mad, Sandburg. I’m just busy.”

“I offered to help, Jim. And stop calling me Sandburg.”

“Why?” Jim honestly couldn’t figure this one out.

“It’s hurting my feelings, all right?”

“All right, Chief. I don’t want to hurt you.” Then he went back to his work and Blair was still at a loss. He used to be able to bat his eyes and get anything from Jim. Not anymore. Damn…

The phone rang and Jim picked it up, “Ellison.”

“Mr. Ellison, this is Nurse Colton at Drake’s school. I don’t want you to panic, but Drake won’t stop crying for you.”

“I’ll be right there. Tell him I’m on the way.” Jim looked at Blair and said, “It’s Drake, something’s wrong. Are you coming?”

“Do you have to ask?”

Blair yelled at Simon as they ran for the elevator. 

Jim drove as fast as he could to get there and Jim could hear Drake screaming standing outside. 

“I don’t think he’s hurt Chief. I think he’s mad.” 

The men walked in and Drake went right to Jim and started crawling up his body. Blair could tell the screams were hurting Jim’s ears. “Drake, come see Daddy Blair.”

“No, I want Daddy. Daddy can I go home now?” 

Jim kissed his little cheeks and said, “First we have to calm down. You’re hurting my ears. If you don’t stop screaming, I’ll have to leave.”

He stopped right away and just sobbed. “They tried to make me go with a man today.”

Jim jerked his head up and said, “Explain?”

“Well this man said he was Drake’s dad and he was here to pick him up. He told us he had his birth certificate and everything.” Ms. Colton said. 

“And you were going to give Drake to him?” Jim was crazed. 

“Well, why would someone tell us that and we know that you’re just foster parents. So we figured he was back into Drake’s life.”

“I’m going to sue this school. I can’t believe you almost gave our little boy to a stranger. And we aren’t foster parents. He’s going to be legally ours next month. We’ll be his dad’s.” Jim said with much pride. 

“He was scary daddy.”

“I bet he was. But you did the right thing. Stranger Danger and scream.” Jim kissed him all over with joy at still having him. 

Blair stood next to the doorway looking lost. Jim leaned down and said something to Drake and he took off running and jumped into Blair’s arms. “Do you think I did good, Daddy Blair?”

“I think you did excellent. I love you.” Blair whispered. 

“I love you too, Daddy Blair.”

“Jim, let’s take him back to work with us for the rest of the day.” Blair said and Drake jumped out of his arms jumping up and down saying, “Can we go now?”

“Better clear it with Simon.” Jim picked his cell up and walked out to the hallway and cleared it with Simon and came back in and saw Blair giving dirty looks to the nurse.

“What’s going on?” Jim asked. 

“I don’t know Daddy, but Daddy Blair is really mad.” Drake walked over to Jim to lift him up. 

Lifting him up he asked, “What’s going on, Blair?”

“They just told me they were writing to the judge about us being a couple. They didn’t know we were a same sex couple.” Blair was more angry than Jim had seen in a long time. 

“Go ahead and write. He knows us.” Jim grabbed Blair’s hand and walked out. 

Once in the SUV, Blair said, “They’re going to make trouble, I can tell.”

“Do I have to leave?” Drake said in a weepy voice. 

Jim turned around and said, “All right. Let’s stop this now. You don’t have to leave. We don’t care what they say or write letters about and no one is taking our boy away from us.” Jim smiled at Drake. 

Drake sobbed so pitifully in the back seat and Jim said, “Drake. What is wrong, now?”

“I’ll miss Jade.”

“Honey, we’re keeping Jade too. We’re never going to be apart.” Blair said almost laughing.

“Forever and ever?” Drake asked quietly. 

“Forever and ever.” Jim answered. Jim looked over at Blair and said, “Same goes for you. I love you, Blair. Forever and ever.”

Blair pulled him into a kiss and Drake giggled in the back seat. “My daddies are funny.”

Jim drove and asked, “Why are we funny?”

“Cuz you kiss Daddy Blair instead of a girl.”

“Drake, I thought you understood that your daddies don’t ever kiss girls.”

“I do. Do I have to kiss boys?” Drake said smiling. 

“No, not at all.” Blair said almost laughing again. 

“And Jade will kiss boys or girls?”

“Jade can kiss whoever she wants to, when the time comes.” Blair answered. 

“Wait, back up a bit. We might want to know who she’s kissing.” Jim said in his daddy tone. 

“Daddy, can we pick up Jade and take her with us? She’s gonna cry if she finds out I gotta go to work with you.”

“I guess so. If something comes up, there are a ton of people to keep an eye on them, right?” Jim looked over to Blair for help. 

“Stop worrying, big man. Let’s pick up our little girl and get out of here.” Blair smiled at the thought of his little Jade. She was an angel. 

Jim pulled into the parking lot and said, “We’ll wait out here.”

“Be right back guys.” Blair took off for Jade. 

Jim picked his cell phone up and called and reported the aborted abduction at Drake’s school and Simon said he would send Rafe and Brown to take care of it. 

Jim looked in the back seat and Drake was sound asleep. He didn’t think there was anything more precious then these children, especially when they were sleeping.

Blair walked out carrying Jade, both wearing smiles. 

“Blair when we get home today we need to talk to Jade about Stranger Danger too.”

“You’re right. Just to be on the safe side. Jim who do you think it was?” Blair looked very frightened. 

“I have no idea, but don’t worry, babe. We’ll see this through and get it taken care of.” 

Jim noticed that Jade was kind of quiet, but he figured a person’s entitled to be quiet now and then. Even if they were a child. 

Once in the bullpen, everyone went crazy over the kids. “Jim, this isn’t a daycare center.” Simon bellowed from his doorway. 

“Uncle Simon. Uncle Simon.” Drake and Jade both ran and were picked up by the grouch. Simon shut the door and sat at his desk with the kids while Jim and Blair caught up with work.

Rafe and Brown walked in and went to their desks. “Jim, I think we need to put someone at the school. Those women are idiots.” Brown said very irritated. 

“We’ll talk to Simon about it when he’s done being a grump.”

“He’s being mean to the kids?” Rafe asked shocked. 

“No, not even. Just me and Sandburg.”

“Okay, we’ll take it up with him, when the kids come out.” Brown said walking away to write up his report.

About two hours later Jade walked up to Jim and crawled into his lap. “You okay, baby?”

“I’m fine Daddy. Uncle Simon’s gonna take Drake to the bathroom.”

Simon walked by holding Drakes hand and they went down the hallway to the bathroom. 

Connor walked over and leaned in for a kiss from Jade. “How is my little pumpkin?”

“I’m fine, but I gotta get me one of them penises.” Jade jumped down and started to walk around the room staring at everyone. 

“Jade, where are you going?” Jim called out. 

And as loud as can be, Jade said, “I’m seeing how many people have penises. Maybe I can get one from someone.”

“Get over here, now.” Blair called out. 

Jade ran over and began to wail. Simon walked out of the bathroom and said, “I’m gone for ten minutes and you’ve done something to the angel?”

She lifted her arms up and Simon picked her up and took her into his office.

“She’s got him wrapped around her finger.” Jim laughed as he watched them. “Oh oh. She’s asking him penis questions.”

“You have to love that child.” Blair stood up ready to get her. 

The door opened and Simon yelled, “Sandburg, please tell your child about penises. She thinks she can get one from one of us.” Blair laughed all the way to the door. 

“I have to pottie, Daddy Blair.” 

“Let me get Auntie Megan. Hey Connor, can you take Jade to the bathroom?”

“Sure, Sandy. Come on Jade.” Connor took her hand and they were in there for a long while. 

“Jim, is something wrong in there?” Blair was getting worried. 

“No. Connor’s explaining about penises.” Jim had a big smile on his face. 

Drake walked over and took Blair’s hand and said, “Dad, can we go up and down the elevator?”

“Jim, did you hear that?” Blair was bursting with pride at being called Dad. “Sorry, Drake. We’re at work. How would it look if we went up and down the elevator?”

“I unnerstand.” Drake was starting to pout just like his Dad. He went back to sit on Jim’s lap. 

“Oh what the hell. Jim if you need us, call me.” Blair took Drake’s hand and they went up and down the elevator about six times. 

“Did your partner leave?” Simon asked Jim. 

“He’s looking for something. What do you need, Simon?”

“I need him. My computer is acting up.” Simon growled. 

“Want me to have a look see?” Jim almost laughed at the look of fear on Simon’s face. 

“No, what I want is for you to get Sandburg back here so he can fix it for me.” Simon walked into his office and slammed the door. 

Jade walked in at that moment and saw Simon slam his door. She ran over to his door and opened it and said, “No slamming doors. Dint no one tell you that?” She then closed his door softly and everyone in the bullpen began to laugh. 

Jim called Blair and told him Simon needed him. Two minutes later he got off the elevator and said, “What’s up?”

“Not me.” Jim answered. 

“Well I sure as hell hope not.” Blair said as he walked over to Simon’s door and knocked. 

Blair fixed Simon’s computer and came out and said, “Hey, how about some dinner?”

“Yay.” Both kids yelled out and went to say goodbye to everyone.

Jim handed all of their finished paperwork in and then met Blair and the little ones in the garage. 

“I can’t believe they’re going to let your kind have kids. Makes me sick to my stomach.” Officer Hanson spat out. 

“I don’t want any trouble.” Jim said quietly. 

“You don’t want me to beat the shit out of you in front of your kids?”

“That would be nice.” Jim snarled back. 

IN the car Drake said, “That’s the stranger. He’s the one that tried to take me.”

Blair said, “Stay right here. Don’t get out for anything.” Blair locked the doors as he closed his.

Jim turned to Blair and Hanson hit him on the side of the head really hard.

“Jim, we need to arrest him.”

“Why? For being an ass? For being stupid? What?” Jim was pissed that the man knocked him so hard, that he was still dizzy. 

“He’s the one that grabbed Drake at the school.”

Before Blair could stop him, Jim had Hanson down on the ground, and the cuffs were on him. 

Jim looked torn between staying with the kids and taking Hanson upstairs. “Jim, go sit with the kids and I’ll take Hanson up.”

“Thanks, Sandburg.” Jim smiled at him with such promise of a great evening, that Blair didn’t really mind. 

Blair took him upstairs and handed him over to Brown and Rafe who were in charge of the investigation. He filled Simon in and then joined his partner downstairs. 

Jim was very quiet all the way home, even the kids seemed scared about it.

“Something wrong Jim?” Blair asked.

“We’ll talk later.” Jim spat out.

“Jade, he’s going to give us back.” Drake and Jade ran from the car crying. 

“Jim, go and calm them down.” Blair ordered. 

“Blair, I realized us being gay could have hurt our little boy. We can’t do this. We can’t fucking do this.” Jim walked with his head down into his bedroom. 

Blair calmed the kids down and then called Rena and told her what happened and asked her how to handle it.

“Blair, this could happen to anyone. No matter if Jim was with a woman or man. That pig was filth and deserves what he gets. But you and Jim deserve something good. Why should you have to pay for being gay?” Rena was almost out of breath. 

“Could you talk to Jim?”

“I think you need to. I’ll talk to you later.” Rena hung the phone up and hoped that things would work out. 

Blair checked on their babies before going to bed. He looked down at his watch and realized that none of them had eaten dinner yet. He went back out to the kitchen and started cooking. 

“Dad, are you all right?” Drake asked looking over the bar, standing on his tiptoes.

“I’m fine honey. Why don’t you go and see how Daddy is?” 

“Okay.” Drake took off to their bedroom and jumped on the bed and started turning Jim over.

“Drake, Daddy’s tired. Leave me alone.”

Drake lay next to Jim and just rubbed his back. Jim couldn’t believe how sweet this child was. God, he loved him so much. This was killing him. 

“Jim, dinner is on the table. The children and I would like you to join us. Come on, Drake.” Blair took Drake’s hand and walked out to the table. 

“Did Daddy’s penis fall off? Is that why he’s upset?” Jade asked. 

Drake started laughing and he said, “They don’t fall off, Jade.”

“Well he seemed sad, so maybe it did.”

“Jade, my penis is just fine. Stop worrying about it.” Jim sat down at the table, even though he had red rimmed eyes. 

“Oh Daddy, you wuz crying?” Jade said as she rubbed his face. 

“Yeah, but I’m done crying now. Let’s eat dinner and I’ll give you your bath.” Jim smiled over at her and she cheered right up. 

“So Daddy, are we going to have to move now?” Drake asked seriously. 

“We’ll discuss it later, Drake. Not tonight.” Jim answered. 

“That just means that you’re gonna dump us. Jadey, we’re gonna have to move again.” Drake jumped up from the table and ran into his room. 

“Is he lying? Do we have to move? Is it cuz I don’t have a penis?” Jade rushed from the table and was wailing all the way to her room. 

Blair looked over at Jim and they both started laughing. “She’s so friggin cute, Blair.”

“And he’s not? God, he’s past precious. Jim, I’m not giving them up.” Blair stood to go to the kids. 

“I’m not either. Decision made. Now let’s go love these kiddo’s.” 

Jim walked into Drake’s room and said, “Who wants to be an Ellison-Sandburg, or a Sandburg-Ellison?”

“I do. I do.” Drake said jumping on his bed.

“Drake, stop jumping on the bed.”

“Why?”

“Because I said.” Jim looked at him sternly. 

“Sometimes you are no fun.” Drake pouted and walked out of the room. 

“Get used to it Drake. This is how I’m always going to be.” Jim smiled to himself. 

Jim went into Jade’s room and picked her up and said, “Bath time.”

“Oh goody.” Jade hugged him hard and Jim started the water. He helped her get undressed and she stood there naked waiting for Jim to check the water. 

“Daddy?”

“Yes, honey?”

“What if a penis started to grow right here. There would be room wouldn’t there?”

Jim looked over at her and jumped up. “Blair, get in here.”

“What? Geeze scare me why don’t you?”

“Jade has something to ask you.” Jim said still blushing. 

“Dad, if I got a penis, it could go right here because there is enough room, don’t you think?” Jade was showing him where it could go. 

Blair looked up at Jim and thought Jim was past sweet. “Jade, you can’t ever get one. No matter how much room there was, it still couldn’t happen.”

“Dangit. I hate when Drake is always right.”

“Now you don’t take your clothes off in front of Drake or anyone. Just us.” Jim added quickly. 

“I don’t silly daddy.” She lifted her arms up and he lifted and put her in the now tested warm water. 

“What’s Drake doing?” Jim asked. 

“He said it was homework.”

“Seriously? In Kindergarten? How weird.” Jim washed Jade as he talked to Blair. When she was done, Blair took the towel clad little girl and dressed her for the night. 

Jim walked into the dining room and saw Drake working very hard at what he was doing. “Need any help, partner?”

“I’m not your partner. Dad is.” He sounded very sad. 

“I can have more than one, Drake.” Jim hugged him and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“You like Jade better than me. You never give me a bath.” Drake had his little head hanging. 

Jim grabbed him and slung him over his shoulder and yelled out to Blair, “Is it okay that I bathe Drake?”

“Sure, I’ll bring you his pajama’s as soon as we’re done here.” Blair smiled at Jim carrying Drake. 

The big man kept Drake on his shoulders while he started the water and bubbles. Then he tossed him and caught him and laid him on the floor for wrestling. 

Blair could hear them laughing and grunting making him smile. Jim was a fantastic daddy. 

Jim helped Drake get undressed and then lifted him into the warm water. First thing Drake did was splash bubbles onto Jim’s face. 

Poppy, Poppy, save me.” Jim called out. 

“I love that name, Jim. I want that name.” Blair kissed him. 

“You want us to call you Poppy?” Drake asked. 

“Yes, then when you’re older, you can shorten it to Pop. Because when Daddy get’s too old to call Daddy, then you’ll shorten to what?” Blair wanted to see if they were all paying attention. 

Jade yelled out, “Dad.”

“That’s right my little princess. So how about that name kids?” Blair hoped for a good response. 

“I like it.” Drake said smiling. “Could everyone leave, I’m naked in the tub.”

Jade made a face and said, “It’s not like I haven’t seen lot of penises before.” 

Blair laughed all the way out the door and then Jim looked at Drake. “What’s she talking about son?”

“She just thinks about penises.” Drake smiled at his daddy. 

And life got back to normal, or as normal as it could be in the Sandburg-Ellison house. 

Linda came to watch the kids while they went to Sullivan’s one evening. “I know where everything is, Jim. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks Linda. You’re a lifesaver. We needed some time off. They’re already in bed, but probably not asleep.” Jim said as he headed for the front door.

“Jim, I have to say, I’m proud of you. You usually put up a fight about leaving the kids.” Blair commented. 

“Well I need Chief time too.” Jim smiled over at Blair and blew a kiss. 

“Be good tonight and you’ll get lucky.” Blair teased. 

“I’m always good, you said. And I’m always friggin lucky.”

“I lied.” Blair started laughing when he saw a shocked look on Jim’s face. 

Walking into Sullivan’s they were met by everyone in a fine mood. “We late?” Blair asked sitting down. 

“No, we all got here early.” Sam answered. 

Jim walked up to Sully and knelt down and kissed her belly and then hugged her. Then he got up and did the same to Sam.

“Sandy, I swear, he is the sweetest man on earth.” Connor smiled over at her best friend. 

“I have to agree. He’s a keeper.” Blair smiled as Jim sat next to him. 

“Thanks, Chief.”

“For?” 

“Keeping me.” Jim leaned in and got himself a good Chief kiss first thing. 

“Oh for gods sake, those two are making out already.” Simon huffed. 

“Honey are you jealous?” Sully cooed. 

“No, I just don’t want to watch my men making out.”

Everyone broke out in laughter and he looked lost at to what he said. “I give up.”

“It’s best, sugar.” Sully smiled and gave him a kiss. 

“How’s Princess Ellie tonight?” Jim asked. 

“She’s fine Jim. Are you guys still keeping her this weekend?” Megan asked hopefully. 

“We sure are, Connor.” Blair answered. 

“Thank you to both of you.” Joel said smiling. 

“Who’s ready for this?” Connor called out. 

“We are.” Everyone said at once.   
========================================================  
Connor: Does this remind you of anyone? "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."

Blair: (Howling.) Only all of our suspects. 

Jim: I couldn’t agree more.

Rafe: Some days it reminds me of me.

Brown: Oh babe, don’t be so hard on yourself. Tonight might be better. 

Everyone laughed at the stricken look on Rafe’s face. 

Simon: This is perfect for the precinct. Not just bad guys. 

Sully: I think it would work anywhere.

Sam: I agree with my sis.

Dan: Well I wouldn’t want to have one up where I work, because it wouldn’t advertise a vote of confidence. (Laughing and falling off his chair.)

Joel: I agree with Simon. I think we could use it all through the precinct. And the best part would be they wouldn’t know it was about them.

Everyone howled at the thought. 

====================================================  
Connor: "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." 

Jim: I love this. Does this mean you would be standing somewhere naked?

Blair: (Laughing) No big man. 

Jim: Well what does it mean?

Connor: I don’t have to explain them, Ellison. Just ask them. 

Jim: Thanks a lot Connor.

Connor: You’re most welcome.

Simon: I don’t get it either and I don’t want to be in a room naked with all of you.

Blair: (Falls off his chair.) Good one, Simon. 

Sully: Well I happen to love seeing you naked.

Simon: Sully, don’t talk about that. I have to work with these people.

Dan: He makes it sound like its some forced thing. Like forced retirement or something.

Sam: I happen to love the nude form. Does anyone know that I draw?

Jim: Noooooooo!

Blair: Really, that’s way cool. Want to do a nude for us?

Sam: I would love to.

Blair: That’s great, we would love to have a nude picture of you to put up in our living room.

Dan: (Falls off of his chair, laughing and can’t hardly get his breath.) Sam, you have to get up really early to keep up with him. 

Sam: That true Jim?

Jim: (Blushing) Yeah. 

Simon: You’re all too weird. 

Sully: What you don’t want a nude picture of me in their living room? Cuz I was just thinking of having her do one.

Simon: No.

Sully: Oh, my man of many words.

Simon: How about this Sully, fuck no?

Joel: I wouldn’t mind having one of Meggie up in our living room. 

Connor: You are the sweetest man. I love you so much. 

Jim’s cell phone went off and he answered it right away. “Ellison.”

There was someone talking to him and then Jim smiled and said, “Put her on.”

More talking, and more smiling and Jim said, “It’s still there honey. I know it’s there. Yes, I can feel it. I don’t think we have to have Poppy check. I know if I have a penis or not. No, you’re not going to get one ever. So let’s stop talking about it. Okay, here is Poppy.” Jim handed over the phone to Blair blushing. 

“She’s so taken with the penis thing. It’s bothering us a little bit.” Jim tried to explain. 

They all turned to Blair as he said, “Yes, it is. I know that honey. Okay, hang on a minute.” Blair ran his hand across Jim’s cock and smiled as he picked the phone back up. “Yes it’s still there. Now you get ready for bed. I love you. Okay, let me ask him. Jim, do you love a little girl named Jade?”

Jim grabbed the phone from him and said, “I love you, precious. Now you go to sleep. See you tomorrow. Yes, it will be there tomorrow. Goodnight.” 

Jim put the phone down and everyone erupted into laughter. “What is the deal? Why would your penis go away?” Rafe asked. 

“Want to answer that Connor?” Jim said sarcastically. 

“Geeze, I was only teasing.” Connor tried to defend herself. 

Brown laughed and said, “Well its working.”

Simon said, “Are we going to do this or not?”

=======================================================  
Connor: "Cover me. I'm changing lanes."

Blair: Oh my god, this is Jim all the way. 

Simon: I have to agree. 

Joel: I’m thinking of Jim and Meggie. 

Connor: What?

Jim: Did you hear that? It’s the beginning of road rage?

Dan: I think this would work for most of us.

Sam: Not me. I’m way calm while I drive. (Falls of her chair laughing.)

Sully: That’s a good one, sis. It would work for me also.

Rafe: I’m calm.

Brown: He is.

Jim: So both of you are calm?

Brown: We take turns. 

Rafe: (Blushes) Shut up.

Brown: I meant, we take turns being calm. We’re never yelling at the same time. What did you think I meant? Oh… I get it. That too. 

Rafe: Shush. 

Brown: Speaking of sex, Connor and Taggert, do you still get to have it with your little one?

Simon: Brown, you don’t ask that. 

Connor: It’s okay. Yeah, we have sex every chance we get.

Joel: We do, and sometimes we have to keep doing it until we get it right. 

Connor: Shush, hot stuff. 

Simon: Enough of their sex life. 

Rafe: How about Jim and Blair?

Jim: Our sex life? That’s no one’s business. 

Blair: We do it when we can, but Jim’s a little nervous about doing it with kids in the house.

Jim: Blair, do we have to tell them everything?

Blair: Of course we do.

Simon: Jim, lock your door and have a life. It’ll be worth it.

Sully: Oh this I like to hear. 

Simon: I meant for him to lock Blair out. 

Jim: (Falls off his chair, but tries not to laugh, when he sees how mad Blair is.)

Blair: I’ll get you for that, Simon. 

==========================================================

Connor: "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

Jim: Well we won’t have to worry about that, will we. We’re always laughing. 

Blair: And that’s a good thing. I love all of you. 

Connor: Oh Sandy, you’re so sweet. I love you too. 

Joel: I’m laughing and loving.

Dan: I love you and I usually laugh. 

Sully: I love you, and I rarely laugh. 

Sam: Yeah right. Jim, she’s a big fat liar. I love you too, Blair. 

Simon: I have no idea how this got off to this. I laugh with all of you, all the time. And that’s all I’m saying. 

Jim: So you don’t love him as a friend?

Simon: Yes, now move on.

Rafe: I love him.

Brown: But do you laugh with him?

Rafe: I forgot. Yes, I laugh. 

Brown: Oh I forgot, I love ya Sandburg.

Simon: Are we done yet?

======================================================= 

Connor: "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... ...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...." 

 

Jim: This is Simon. 

Simon: What? What are you talking about?

Jim: You drive like a bat out of hell. 

Simon: Pot, Kettle, Black. 

Blair: I see this as a tee shirt for both of them. 

Rafe: I agree. 

Brown: Rafe, sometimes you scare me with your driving. 

Rafe: You’re kidding, right?

Brown: Yeah, I am. 

Dan: I see this as all of us. 

Sully: Now you’re talking. We’re all too wild for our own good. 

Sam: Not me. I’m a perfect driver. 

Dan: (begins to laugh and can’t get his breath.)

Jim: I would say that means Dan doesn’t agree?

Sam: Well maybe Dan wants to sleep on the sofa tonight.

Dan: I was kidding baby. I’m sorry. 

Brown: Oh man, wuss puss alert. 

Rafe: He’s worse than Ellison. 

Simon: Sam I don’t think you should threaten anyone by withholding sex from them. 

Sam: Oh fuck you, Simon.

Sully: Fight. Fight.

Jim’s cell went off again and he answered, “Ellison.”   
“Yes, I’ll talk to her. Jadey, I need you to go to sleep darlin. Will you do that for me and Poppy? I know you miss me. I know that. But we have to be out sometimes. Just like kids go places without their parents. NO, honey don’t cry. I love you so much. Did I tell you we’re having Ellie over this weekend? Yeah, doesn’t that sound good? Now go to sleep so you won’t be tired. Okay, here is Poppy.”

Blair picked the phone up and said, “Get to bed Jade. No more phone calls tonight. I mean it. I love you and we’ll see you in the morning.” He closed the cell and set it down. 

“Fuck…” Jim whispered. 

“What’s wrong, Jim?” Simon asked. 

“She was crying really hard.”

“Jim, she only does that to you. She doesn’t do it to me. She knows I won’t put up with it.” Blair looked angry. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. Continue Connor.”

The phone rang again and Jim answered it. “Ellison.”  
“Go to sleep Jade. Right now. I’m not going to answer the phone anymore. It’s all right if you hate me. It’s all right if your mad. You don’t mean that.” Jim handed the phone over to Blair and walked off. 

He hid out of sight until Blair got off the phone. Then Jim walked around the corner. They all thought he was crying, but he was laughing. 

“Want to fill us in.” Dan asked. 

“She’s really mad at me right now because I’m not coming home. So she told me she hated me. Then she said she hopes that I go live somewhere else and finally she said, ’I hope your penis does fall of.’”

Everyone at the table was howling with laughter. Life was never dull at that Sandburg-Ellison home. 

=========================================================  
Connor: "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep"

Blair: Pick me. Pick me. 

Connor: Yes, Sandy?

Blair: This is Jim. I want a tee shirt that says this. 

Jim: Very funny, Chief.

Joel: Do I wake up grumpy?

Connor: Never honey. I’m the grump in our house. 

Simon: I already know I’m grumpy, Sully. 

Sully: So like you could work on fixing it?

Simon: Don’t fix things unless they are totally broken. 

Sully: Well shit. 

Sam: Dan is never a grouch, am I a grouch with you?

Dan: Never with me.

Rafe: I know I’m a grouch. 

Brown: He is, but the making up is so worth it. 

Simon: Why do we start this stuff. I should have known it was coming. 

Jim: Before I forget Rafe and Brown, are you still coming this weekend?

Rafe: You bet we are.

Brown: We can’t wait.

Connor: I thought you were keeping Ellie this weekend.

Jim: We are, they’re going to help us and practice in case any children come up soon.

Joel: Well that’s great.

Jim: I think so too. Then Ellie will grow up around her family just like Jade and Drake. 

Simon: Does this mean we have to bring ours over when we have it?

Jim: Yes.

Simon: I knew it. We’re stuck for life.

Sam: We’re so fucking lucky. (Tears were falling down her face.)

Dan: Sammy, what’s wrong? (Holding her)

Sam: I’m just happy. We’re got great friends. 

==========================================================  
Connor: "The gene pool could use a little chlorine." 

 

Jim: Boy is this true or what?

Blair: It’s true. 

Rafe: Scary, but true. 

Joel: Agreed. 

Brown: I second that. 

Sam: I third that. 

Sully: I fourth that.

Dan: I fifth that. Hell, give me a drink from that fifth. (Laughing)

Simon: I’ll take some of that fifth. 

Sully: Damn drunks, can’t take them anywhere.   
==================================================  
Connor: "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal ! " 

Blair: Oh god, Jim said this the other day. 

Jim: I did not, you big fat liar.

Simon: I’ve heard him make remarks about using blinkers. 

Joel: So have I. 

Connor: Tell me about it. 

Jim: You do too, Connor.

Connor: I know.

Rafe: I think Brown has said this. 

Brown: Take it back. 

Rafe: Take what back? 

Brown: Your penis. (Howling commences throughout the room)

Jim: Very funny, Brown. 

Jim got up and said, “I know this sounds stupid and I’m a major wuss, but I want to go home to my kids.”

Everyone got up and gave him a hug. Simon said, “You’re never a wuss when it comes to the kids. Always remember they come second after Sandburg.”

Jim burst out laughing and would have to remember to tell Blair that Simon said it.

The entire drive home, Jim was really quiet and Blair was almost worried. Then he slipped his left hand over Jim’s right and saw the smile it brought to Jim’s face. Things were going to be all right. 

“Jim, I’m going to pound you through the mattress tonight.”

Jim sped up and they pulled into the driveway. “Blair, I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“Good, because I would hate to think I’m going to fuck someone senseless that I don’t adore.” Blair walked up to the door and slipped his key in. 

When Jim got back in the house after walking Linda to her car, Blair was waiting for him. He slipped into Jim’s arms and they began to kiss.

“Back up. We’re going to lock the house up and shut the lights out. We’re going in the bedroom.” Jim said like a man on a mission.

In the bedroom Blair said, “Jim why are you pushing, you’re the one that’s going to get fucked?”

You haven’t fucked me in a really long time. You haven’t even talked about it. So I want it now.” Jim kissed him as they began stripping. They both made sure the door was locked. 

Blair looked over at Jim and saw a wonderful man, a great partner, a fantastic father, but more than anything, he was Blair’s slut. Thank god. Life was fucking good. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 18


	19. Sullivan's Pub Part 19

Sullivan's Pub 19  
Patt

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 19  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/12/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I’m an author? Holey Moley. 

Summary: Jim and Blair are signing papers. Someone’s going to be real parents. It’s up to the Bullpen Gang to give them a good party. It started out fun, I swear on my own life. Then CIA came into it. What could I do?

Warnings: m/m, Humor, humor, humor and angst/angst/and more   
angst and then some laughs. 

======================================================

Sullivan’s Pub 19

Patt

 

“Where is my friggin suit?” Jim yelled as he was tearing through his closet. 

“Jim, calm down. Here it is. I took it out to steam press this morning. Now get dressed.” Blair leaned in for a much needed kiss. And of course Jim obliged. 

“Are the kids ready, Chief?” A nervous Jim asked while dressing. 

“All ready. We’re just waiting on you.” Blair smiled over at his nervous lover and fell in love with him all over again. He couldn’t imagine his life without Jim, Jade and Drake. “Come on, hot stuff. Get done.” Blair walked out of the room and waited with the kids. 

When Jim walked out they were all standing by the front door, and they looked nervous too. Jim walked over to the sofa and sat down. “Let’s sit down a moment.”

The all sat by him and waited for him to talk. “Have I mentioned lately how much I love each of you?”

“Every day, Daddy.” Drake answered. 

“Well I want to say it again. I want to thank you and Jade for letting us be your dads. We love you so much. Our life wouldn’t be the same without you.” Jim had tears in his eyes as he looked over at Blair. 

“I love you both too. I love Daddy, also. He’s the best man we could ever get to be your daddy. So I’m happy he asked me to be part of this family too.” Blair opened up his arms for all three of them. They had a long group hug and then went out the front door. 

“So Chief, you’re sure about the name?” Jim asked still nervous. 

“Yeah, I like the sound of their names with Ellison. We can use Sandburg as the second middle names as we talked about.”

“So tomorrow, I’m gonna be Drake Ellison?”

“You sure are. But always remember that Poppy’s name is in your name too. So it will be Drake Jameson Sandburg Ellison.” Jim wanted them to remember it wasn’t just him. 

“Jade honey, no talk about penises to the judge. Understood?” Blair sounded stern.

“Unnerstood.” Jade was totally disappointed when she couldn’t ask questions. “What’s my name?”

“Jade Claire Sandburg Ellison.” Blair said proudly. 

After they parked they got out and the kids grabbed a hold of Jim and Blair’s hands and held tight. 

“It’s okay, Drake. We’re here with you. This is a good thing.” Jim said smiling. 

“I know, I’m not scared.” Drake said, but still held tight. 

“Want a ride?” Jim leaned down and gave him a lift up for a piggy-back ride. 

“Poppy, I want one.” Jade cried out. Blair leaned down, grabbed her and did the same thing as Jim. When they walked into the courtroom the Judge was already there. Jim’s face fell. 

“Blair, did we get the wrong times?” Blair could hear the fear in Jim’s voice. 

“Settle down Jim. You’ll upset the kids. I’ll go and ask.” Putting Jade down, Blair walked up to the front of the courtroom and talked with the lawyer and then walked back to Jim. 

“They’re just early. They said as soon as we’re ready, we can start.” To Jim, Blair’s smiled seemed to just light up the room. He was the luckiest man on the planet. 

“Now would be good.” Jim smiled back. 

Two hours later they were sitting in the car, in shock. “Jim, doesn’t it seem odd that we’re parents for real? Doesn’t it seem weird that no one can take them?”

“Someone could take us?” whined Jade. 

“No, honey, he was kidding. Weren’t you poppy?”

“Yes, I was teasing you to see if you were listening. She gets a gold star for listening.” Blair tried that. 

“Cool Jade, you get a star.” Drake hugged her. 

“Jim, could we swing by the station? I want to tell everyone.” Blair almost begged. 

“Sure.” Jim started the SUV and said, “Hey gang, you feel like seeing Uncle Simon?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Both children were screaming in the back seat. 

“And he says that it’s us that’s spoiling these kids.” Blair teased. 

Jim parked in the garage and Jade said, “How come Poppy never drives?”

“Good question, my little Jewel.” Blair smiled up waiting for Jim’s answer. 

“Because I’m the driver and he’s my lookout man.” Jim answered as quickly as he could. 

“That’s cool, Poppy. You’re the lookout man?” Drake asked. 

“I guess I am. I better start looking out. From now on I’m going to be looking out right and left.” Blair laughed all the way to the elevator as Jim chased them. 

When they got off of the elevator on the seventh floor, everyone there yelled “Surprise.”

Jim fell back into the elevator and held his ears. Drake cried out, “Poppy, help him.”

“I will Drake. You take Jade and go see Uncle Simon really fast.” Blair got down on the floor next to Jim and started talking him out of the zone. Within a few minutes, he was out of the zone and he stood up and walked into the Bullpen. 

Simon walked up to him and said quietly, “Jim, I’m very sorry. We weren’t thinking.”

“It’s okay, Simon. I had my senses turned up because of the kids. I always do. I wasn’t even thinking about all the noise in here.” Jim reassured Simon that things would be fine. 

Jim looked over and saw a very scared Jade and Drake. Sighing he got up and took them into the breakroom. “It’s time I have to tell you some things.” Jim began. 

“Oh gonness, your penis came off?” Jade said very seriously. 

“No honey, it’s still there.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Poppy saw it this morning. It’s there. Now, let me tell you about how I can see and hear things more than anyone else.” Jim started again. 

“We already knew that Daddy.” Drew said. 

“How do you know that?” Jim asked. 

“Poppy told us once when you wouldn’t answer us and we were crying. He told us all about it. That way we wunt be so scared the next time. That’s what happened today, huh?” Drew asked. 

“Yup, that’s what happened today. Come here you two. I need some love.” Both kids went into his arms and began to kiss and hug him like mad. 

“Hey, do I get a turn?” Blair asked quietly. 

“Nope, you’re at work. Member what you said? No kissing at work.” Jade reminded him so sweetly. 

“And we wanted children on purpose?” Blair asked as Jim started to laugh. 

“Yeah, we did. I love you too, Chief. I’ll love you all forever.” Jim had them all in a family hug and Connor came in and joined them. Next thing Jim knew Rafe and Brown joined them. Simon and Joel were next. 

“Daddy, I can’t breathe.” Drake whined.

Laughter filled the room. “Jim and Blair, we’re having a party for you. Lunch for everyone is being delivered in about an hour. So sit down and relax. I know two children that need to be with me.

“Yay.” Drake and Jade screamed as they ran and jumped into Simon’s arms. 

“And who’s the one that said he didn’t want his baby?” Blair asked. 

“We all knew he did.” Joel smiled. 

“I’m real glad that worked out, because I love Sully.” Jim said. 

“We all do Jim. Speaking of whom, she’s going to try and be here in just a bit. I called and invited her.” Connor added. 

“That’s great. If we could get Sam and Dan up here, the whole group would be here.” Joel said. 

“They are coming. Well Dan is. Sam might not make it. But Dan should be here any moment too.” Connor said. 

Jade and Drake came out and Drake said, “Uncle Simon’s busy on the phone so can we come out here and dance?” 

“Sure, that’s a good idea, Drake.” Blair smiled over at him. These kids were past cute. 

Jim called out, “Stay where we can see you.”

“We’ll be in the hallway. You can see us if you come look.” Drake walked to the hallway and the dancing began. 

Sandburg, can you see them?”

“No, get up and look if you’re worried.” Blair continued doing his work. 

The elevator door opened and four men stepped out carrying automatic weapons.

“Put your weapons on your desks right now, or someone will die.” The tallest one yelled. 

As they were taking their guns out Jim was listening for the kids. “Jim, where are they now?”

“On there way to show us a new dance.” Jim had to do something. 

Want me to gather up the guns for ya?” Jim offered. 

“Do we look stupid, cop?” The second guy talked. 

“Well actually…” and Jim was hit up side the head with one of the weapons. 

“Hey, what are you doing to my daddy?” Jade stormed up there pissed as hell. 

“Hey we got two kids. This is working out perfect. Hey Cop, want to give up your life for them?” The third one seemed very mean. 

“Yes.” Jim answered simply. 

“Do you want that chance now?”

“Let me say goodbye to them.” Jim asked quietly. 

“Five minutes copper and then it’s you for them.” The mean one was talking again. 

Jim walked over to Blair and the kids and he smiled. “It’ll be all right Chief. I promise.”

“Jim, they’re going to kill you aren’t they?” Blair was on the verge of sobbing. 

“They won’t touch the kids if they have me.” Jim answered. 

“You got your gun in you ankle holster?” Blair whispered into Jim’s ear. 

“You know it.”

“I have mine. We can take a couple. Let’s get the kids safe.” Blair continued. 

“Copper, change in plans. Get your ass over here. Two of these guys like the looks of you. They won’t kill you if you’ll give your ass up to them.” This man seemed very happy being an asshole. 

The largest guy grabbed Jim and started dragging him into the break room. You keep fighting me cop and I’ll kill that little girl. Or worse yet, I’ll do something else to her. 

Jim stood up straight and no longer fought off his attacker. Once the door was shut, no one could hear any sound. 

“I hate you. I hate you. You’re bad.” Jade screamed at the men. 

“You better shut her up or I’ll shut her up.”

“I bet you ain’t got no penis. You’re a stinkin girl.” Jade screamed. 

“What’s she talking about?” The man was very angry now. 

“She doesn’t understand about penises. Who has and who doesn’t. Just ignore her. She’s only four.” Blair almost begged. He wiped tears from his face and this seemed to make the idiot happy. 

“Hell, he’s yours? Well we need you in there watching then.” He grabbed Blair and Blair said, “Simon please take care of them.”

“Poppy, don’t leave us. Poppy I’ll be good.” Jade cried out as Simon grabbed her and took her into his office. Drake followed and asked, “What are they doing to our daddies?”

“Bad things. I’m going to try and stop them in a minute. But you need to stay in here. Under my desk. Do you promise?” Simon was very solemn and the kids responded to that.

“We promised. Don’t let them hurt our daddies.” Drake and Jade beggged. 

“Stay under the desk.” Simon said and walked out of the room. 

Blair and the idiot walked into the room and saw two men lying on the floor. “Looks like you might be too late, cry baby. Looks like your fag is already getting it.”

The big man that had brought Jim in, was tossed aside and Jim shot the guy with Blair. Then he shot him twice more.   
”Jim, that’s enough.”

“It’ll never be enough. They were going to hurt our babies.” Jim started out and had his gun up and shot one of them and gave the other one a chance. When he looked like he was going to shoot, Rafe shot him. Jim looked over at Rafe and said, “You’re not the only one that carried a spare.” 

“Thanks, man. I was out of ammo.” Jim would have been dead if not for Rafe. 

Simon, Joel, Brown and Blair checked the men to make sure they were dead or if there was someone alive. They weren’t any survivors. 

“Does anyone else think this is weird?” Jim asked

“What? I mean, the fact that they just walked into a station and took us all hostage? You find that weird?” Joel asked sarcastically. 

“No, I mean, they didn’t seem to want anything. It’s like they were a decoy.” Jim said trying to think of what else could be going on. “Chief, I want you to get downstairs with the kids and get out of this building.”

“Jim, come with us?” Blair was very upset, but only Jim would have seen it. 

“I’ll meet you two blocks down, at the corner. In front of Mr. Belson’s place. Got it?” Jim pushed the kids and Blair into the elevator.

“Jim, don’t send me off like the woman.” Blair whispered. 

“Chief, I can hear and smell and see things much better than anyone else. I have to stay. So someone has to leave with our children. Right?” Jim was being all logical. Blair hated a logical Jim. 

Jim grabbed Connor at the last minute and said, “Watch his back.” Then he shoved her in with Blair and the kids. 

Once the door closed he looked at Joel and said, “We have to keep her safe.”

“Yes, we do. Now let’s figure this out and find out what’s going to happen.”

Simon got on the phone and checked in with all floors. Everyone was fine. The only Department that that didn’t answer was Dan’s.

“Simon, have we had any odd bodies come in for Dan to work on?” Jim asked.

“We had four John Doe’s, which is really weird. Their fingerprints were taken off. Dan was working on them today.” Simon answered. 

“Well the guy that took me in that room, had no intention of raping me. I knew it right away. But he was going to kill me. And he was black op.’s or something. He was trained well. It took me a long time to subdue him.”

“So you think they might be CIA? And they were looking for their guys?” Joel asked. 

“Well it could be. But we need to go down and make sure that Dan is all right.” Jim grabbed Rafe and Brown and they took off. 

Once they were downstairs, Jim said, “Follow my lead. We’re brothers, looking for our dad.”

“Ellison, Brown can’t be our brother.” Rafe laughed.   
“Well he can be a close family friend. Hope you both can cry on cue.” Jim started watering up his eyes right away. 

Then he started to wail and sob and he hung on to Rafe and Brown. They walked into main room and Jim was carrying on and this stranger asked, “Can I help you?” Jim walked over to him, crying and then stuck a gun up under his chin. Where is everyone?”

“I’m alone.” The man answered quietly. 

“Fuck that. I’m looking for the man that tried to kill me. And I’m going to find him.” Jim got his guns and Jim tossed this guy to Rafe and Rafe cuffed him to a table with a dead person on it. 

Jim started crying again and said, “Mr. Wolf. Can you help me, I can’t find my dad anywhere?”

“Mr. Wolf is busy right now.” One of the two men said shortly. 

Jim had his cuffs out and had the two so called special officers cuffed in nothing flat. It’s something he learned in Special Op.’s. His teacher was right, you don’t forget. 

“Do you want to tell me where Mr. Wolfe is?” Jim asked. 

“Fuck you, Ellison.” One of them said. 

“Why would you know me?” Jim asked. 

“We were here to kill you. That’s all.”

“Bullshit. They didn’t kill me. You’re here for the four guys that I’m going to take to the newspaper in just a minute.

“Wait Ellison, you can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Jim glared at the taller of the two. 

“Because we work for the CIA and these four men aren’t supposed to be the people they are. We said they were someone else. If it gets out the whole operation will be destroyed.”

“Who are you?”

“Mitchell is my name.”

“Well Mitchell, you better show me where Dan Wolfe is right now.” Jim was getting pissed off. 

“He’s in that drawer right there.” Mitchell pointed to one against the wall. 

“Well fuck. Someone put him in there another time. He doesn’t need this shit.” Jim went and pulled it open and found a very uptight Dan Wolfe.

Jim undid the tape and asked, “You okay, Dan?”

“Can I borrow your gun, Jim? Those guys are assholes. I knew they weren’t going to kill me, but they just went out of their way to piss me off.” 

“Dan, they would frown on me letting you shoot them.” Jim laughed at the look Dan was giving to the CIA men. 

Jim went back over and said, “So who were the guys upstairs?”

“Just some people we hired. They were told to keep you busy, but not to hurt anyone.” Mitchell recited it like it was on a paper. 

“Well, that’s not the way it worked. They thought they were cool. They’re all dead. You’ll go down for it.” Jim drug them into the other room. “Oh Dan, don’t let anyone come for those guys. CIA wants them. I’m going to tell everyone.”

Mitchell looked at Jim and realized, he had done this wrong. “Ellison, why are you taking this so personal?”

“Because they threatened to kill my fucking children. They happened to be upstairs today and your men were going to hurt them. Then they asked if I would give up my life for them.” Jim shoved all three men in the elevator. 

Once they got to Major Crimes, there were Homicide guys all over the place. Mitchell said, “Ellison, we’ll do almost anything if you don’t give them those bodies.”

Jim drug the three men into the interrogation room and shut the door. “Fill me in, or I hand you over.”

“We had four members of the Mexican government that were under our wing. While they were, we put four men in their place. They were killed in the private airplane and we brought them back. But someone called a suspicious vehicle on us and we had to leave it. That’s how you ended up with our four guys. Those are four American CIA men. It’s important that we have them back.”

“Wait a minute. What happened to the Mexican’s?” Jim asked. 

“They’re free. We made a deal with them, and they’re safe.”

“See, this makes no sense to me. But let me get my boss. If he says it’s all right, then we’ll do it.” Jim walked out of the room and said, “Rafe, don’t let them get by.

“You let them out of the cuffs?” Rafe asked. 

“No, but they seem pretty with it.”

Jim went in and told Simon what was going on and they went in to talk to the men. All three men were lying on the floor, dead. 

“Well this isn’t good, Jim.” Simon sneered. 

“Fuck, now we’re never going to know why they want those guys downstairs.” Jim stormed out and went down to see if Dan had had any more visitors.

“Hey Dan, anyone else looking for trouble?” Jim asked. 

“Only if you want to call missing bodies trouble.” Dan was pissed. 

“Where were you, Dan?”

“I had to take a piss, Ellison. It’s allowed you know?” Dan was really pissed if he was calling Jim, Ellison. 

“I’m sorry Dan. We lost our three guys upstairs, they must have taken poison or something.” Jim sat down with a sigh. 

“Jim, that means we’ll never know what this was about.”

“I know, I just got done saying that same thing to Simon.” Jim pushed himself up and said, “See you later, Dan.”

“You going to Sullivan’s on Tuesday?”

“Wouldn’t miss it. Night Dan.” Jim walked out totally disgusted. 

Jim stood in the hallway and tried to figure out where in the hell anyone would take bodies to. The only thing down at the end of the hall was the laundry. Jim walked down there and figured he’d have a look see before he went upstairs. 

He opened the door and he was blinded by a light. Then he was cuffed quickly and people were talking quietly, but not quiet enough. They were discussing if they should kill him or Blair and the kids too. 

Jim’s heartbeat sped up and a voice said, “Ellison, we’re going to take these bodies and leave. You’re not going to come after us. Do you understand?”

“I have to, it’s my job. You must know that much about me.” Jim said angrily. 

“Do you love your children, Detective Ellison?”

“Yes, very much.”

“And do you love your partner?”

“Very much.” Jim knew what they were going with this. 

“Then we have to kill them, Detective.”

“Oh god, no. Please. I’ll stay right here and I won’t say a word. I’ll tell them that you knocked me unconscious. Please don’t take my babies away from me.” Jim found himself doing something he swore he would never do. Begging. Families make you weak, damnit. 

“We didn’t intend to, but we needed to see if that would work. You stay in this room and shut your mouth.” 

An hour later Jim was rolled over by Simon. “Jim, you okay?”

“I’ll never be all right again, Simon.” Jim got up and let the cuffs be taken off. 

“What do you mean by that, Ellison?” Simon asked. 

Jim pushed Simon over to the door and said, “I let them go.”

“What?” Simon bellowed. 

“They were going to kill Blair and the kids.” Jim said with his head hanging. “I always swore that I would never do anything like this, but I couldn’t chance loosing them.”

“It’s all right Jim. I would have done the same thing.” Simon put his arm around Jim and led him out of the room. 

Jim went up stairs to give a statement and tell them he didn’t have any idea of what they looked like. Nothing to use for a description at all. Once he was done he asked Joel for a ride. 

Joel looked over at Jim and said, “Did they tell you they would kill Blair and the kids?”

“Yes. God, I feel so fucking pathetic.” Jim was angry. 

“Jim, you had to choose between your job and your family. I for one am damn glad you choose your family.”

“Thanks Joel.” Jim saw his SUV filled with Blair, Megan and the kids. 

Jim got out of Joel’s vehicle and said, “I’ll send Megan back. Thanks again, Joel.” Jim walked away and Joel knew that Jim wasn’t going to take this well. // Why does everything have to be hard for him? //

Megan got out and went back to Joel and Blair was driving for a change. Jim leaned over the seat and kissed both of them. “I love you babies so much.”

“Poppy, Daddy’s being weird. What’s wrong?” Jade asked as her little heartbeat started beating harder. 

“Nothing’s wrong, Jade honey. I’m just really glad to see you. Now calm down and be happy I’m not yelling at you.” Jim said with a smile. 

“You never yell at her.” Drake said with disgust.

“Oh and I suppose I do yell at you nonstop, eh?” Jim laughed as he pulled Drake to his lips and started kissing him. Drake wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck and said, “Will you sit back here with us?”

“I have to give Poppy some love too.” Jim sat back down next to Blair and watched him as he drove. He could tell that Blair had been scared, but he could also smell his arousal. Jim whispered, “Drive slow, Chief.” And then he went down on Blair. 

“Jim, get up here right now.” Blair shouted as the older man was starting to suck on his cock. 

“What?” Jim asked. 

“Knock it off. Never again.” Blair started driving faster and he was very pissed off. 

“Poppy, why are you so mad at Daddy?” Drake asked. 

“Because he’s a jerk. He’s made me so angry that I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Blair pulled into their driveway and shut the door on Jim. He pulled each of the kids out and said, “Come on.” They both ran up to the door. 

Jim followed behind and figured he’d make it up to him later. It wasn’t that big of a deal. 

“Drake and Jade do you want to help me make some dinner?” Blair called out. 

Blair could hear them crying. “Shit…” Blair walked into Jade’s room and found both of them huddled together. 

“Jade and Drake, we’re just arguing. It’s not a big thing. Nothing is going to happen to any of us.” Blair assured them. 

“Promise?” Jade asked. 

“Pinky promise.” Blair showed them how to do it and they knew that meant something good. 

“Now, do you want to help with dinner or not?” Blair called as he headed back into the room. 

“Where’s daddy?” Jade asked. 

“I don’t know. Go see if you can find him.” Blair wondered where he was too. 

Jade walked into Daddy’s room and he wasn’t there, but there was a light on in his bathroom. She tiptoed into the room and saw daddy taking his clothes off for a shower. She watched from the doorway for a few minutes and then said, “Poppy is looking for you.” Jim jumped when he heard her voice. Jade ran up and grabbed his hand and said, “Please he’s upset.” And she started pulling on him. 

“Jade, just a minute. I’m naked.” Jim pulled his robe out of the closet and then followed her into the kitchen. 

Blair looked up as Jim walked out and said, “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong with what?” Blair asked. 

“Jade said you were upset and you wanted me.”

“Jade, you don’t tell people stories.” Blair scolded her and walked back into the kitchen. 

“So you don’t want me for anything?” Jim said sadly. 

“Nope. Go in there and be by yourself.” Blair started throwing things into the pan and then he threw the pan onto the floor.

“Poppy, that’s not how you do it.” Drake said picking the pan and it’s contents up. 

Blair walked into the bedroom and Jim turned to the kids, “I need to talk to Poppy. He is upset. We’ll be out in a minute. Get away from the stove, Jade. Drake, find some cartoons to watch and then I’ll order pizza.”

Jim walked into the bedroom and locked the door. He could see Blair’s shoulders moving as he sat there. “Blair, what’s going on?”

“I thought you were dead earlier. We had no report on you and I’m not over it yet.” Blair sniffed a few times and stood up. 

“I love you, babe.”

“I know you do, Jim. But something is off. Something is scaring me.”

“What are you talking about?” Jim wondered aloud. 

“I can feel you moving away from me. Not just me, us.” Blair looked at Jim sadly. 

“You’re getting yourself all worked up over nothing. There isn’t anything wrong.”

“Gonna leave us Jim?” Blair asked point blank. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Just answer me.” Blair ordered, scared to death to hear the answer.

“Blair, just let me think for a while.” Jim moved away from him and opened the door. 

Blair watched his life leave the room, knowing that he may have already lost the confused man.

When Jim came down the hallway Jade said, “Want me to order the pizza, Daddy?”

“I’ll order it, sweetie and you run and get Poppy.” Jim called and ordered two pizza’s. 

Blair walked into the room and said, “So we’re going to have dinner now?”

“You three are. I have to think. I’ll be back.” Jim got his jacket and headed to the front door. “Jim!” Blair said frantically. 

“Blair, I’ll be back. Don’t worry.” Jim put his hand on the doorknob. 

Blair put his hand over Jim’s and said, “Hold me for a minute and tell me you love me.”

Jim did just that. As he had Blair in his arms he felt himself on the verge of tears again. This shit had to stop. “I love you, Blair. Take care of the kids.” And Jim walked out the door. 

As Jim drove down the road he had no idea what he was going to go. Who would be able to help him? But Jim needed help. He pulled up in front of Simon’s house and got out of the SUV. When he knocked on the door, Sully looked out the window and smiled. 

“Hi honey. Come on in. You had a horrible day didn’t you?” Sully asked. 

As Jim held her closely, he said, “Yup. You could say that.”

“Hey Jim, what are you doing with my wife?” Simon teased. 

Jim still hadn’t let go of her and she made a face at Simon. He got the picture. He just stood there and watched them for awhile. 

“Know what I like about you the most, Sully?”

“Don’t have a clue. Tell me.” She smiled up at him. 

“You just accept things. You don’t have to ask 50 questions. You don’t need to talk non-stop. That’s what I like. It was very relaxing to be loved for a moment without question.” Jim let her go and then walked in and sat down on the sofa. 

Simon frowned as he followed him into the room. “So what’s up, Jim?”

“I just came over to visit.” Jim said trying to smile. 

“Uh huh. Right. Now where are Sandburg and the kids?” Simon asked teasingly. 

“They’re home having pizza. I told Blair I just needed to get away.” 

Sully sat next to Jim and said, “And why is that Jim?”

“Why is what?”

“Why is it, that you want to get away from Blair?” Sully didn’t take her eyes off the sad man. 

“Sully you don’t understand, but your husband will.”

“Fine, then explain to both of us.” Simon ordered. 

“Simon, I don’t think I can live with what I did today. And I don’t know what to do. I want to keep being a cop, but if I do, I’d have to give Blair and the kids up.” Jim began to wring his hands. 

“Wait a moment. What happened today that you can’t live with?” Sully asked. 

“Sully, honey, it’s confidential.” Simon said quietly. 

“Oh fuck confidential.” Sully got up and started to leave the room. 

“I’m sorry, Sully.” Jim said. 

“Have you told Blair you’re leaving him? Oh god, he’s going to just die.” Sully cried all the way up the stairs to their bedroom. 

“I’m sorry Simon.”

“I’m not the one you have to say I’m sorry to Jim, I want you to go home and talk to Sandburg.” Simon got up and met him at the door. 

“Thanks, Simon.” Jim left and got in his SUV and sat there for awhile. He saw Simon’s light go on in his bedroom and then Jim smiled when he saw Simon look out to see if Jim had left yet. 

Jim started the truck and took a really long drive. By the time he got home, it was almost midnight. But Jim knew Blair would still be awake.

Jim locked up and went into the bedroom. Blair said, “Please lock the door.”

Jim shut and locked the door and undressed. Then he went in and got ready for bed. When he slid into bed Blair was in his arms in two seconds. 

“Sandburg, I need to talk to you.”

Blair stiffened up at the use of his last name. “So talk.”

“I know you’re going to be upset, but I think I wasn’t made for a family life. You and the kids can keep the house and I’ll pay child support for them too.” Jim could hear little soft sobs coming from Blair. God, Jim hated this part. 

“Why are you doing this?”

“I realized today I’m not in love with you anymore.” Jim whispered. 

“Bullshit. Give me the real answer. Be a fucking man, Ellison.”

“Fine Sandburg, the thought of fucking you now, doesn’t appeal to me. All I see in my mind are the kids. And that’s not a good thing to see. I’m not happy.”

“Then why did we adopt them, Jim?”

“I thought I would feel better, but I don’t. I’m really sorry.”

“Will you do one thing for me?” Blair begged. 

“Sure.”

“Make love to me tonight all night long.” 

“Sandburg, this isn’t going to work. This isn’t going to make me think, wow, I still love him.”

“You don’t have to love me, just fuck me, then.” Blair moved closer to Jim and Jim wasn’t moving away this time. 

Jim began to loosen Blair up and went out of his way to not kiss Blair. When Blair was ready, Jim pushed in slowly and tried not to moan. God, he loved how Blair’s body fit with his. He had Blair’s legs over his shoulders and Blair pulled him down for a kiss and it was Jim’s undoing. 

Jim started to pound into Blair as hard as he could and Blair could feel how closer his lover was. Jim came screaming Blair’s name and Blair followed right behind. 

Blair pulled his legs down and pulled Jim down on top of him and Jim started to shake. “Baby, what’s wrong. Tell me.” Blair pleaded.

Jim pulled him close and told him what he did that day. And he started to cry. “Jesus, I don’t know if I can live with it.”

“You could live with the three of us being dead easier?”

“Fuck no. Don’t talk like that.” Jim thought out loud. 

“Can you live with having me and kids rely on you? Can you live with what you did? Can you live with us? Can you love us?” Blair was shooting off questions very fast. 

“I never wanted to leave. God, I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”

“Jim, you didn’t answer everything. Can you live with what happened today?”

“Yeah. I’ll have to. I don’t want to give you up.”

“Can you love me?” Blair asked almost pitifully. 

“I do love you. I’ll always love you.”

“Can you live with the three of us?” Blair looked at him hopefully. 

“I never want to leave any of you, Blair. Never. We’re forever and ever. I love you. The kids are up and heading this way.”

“Jim, I’ll get cleaned up and you talk to them. They thought you left us tonight.”

Jim wiped off and put boxers and a tee shirt on. There was a little knock on the door and Jim opened it and said, “Who’s there.” The two kids jumped on him, causing him to fly back onto the bed.

“Daddy, we thought you left. Are you moving back?” Drake asked. 

“I didn’t move, sugar. I’m not going anywhere. I had some things on my mind and I had to drive around. I’m back and Poppy is happy to see me too.”

Jade moved up on top of him and said, “I need to sleep on top of you, Daddy.”

“Okay, baby.” Jim was covered with children when Blair came out and he smiled. Jim was sleeping along with the kids. Blair got the camera and took a picture that would be worth everything to all of them, some day. 

Blair was going to have trouble with Jim on this, but he wasn’t going to let him go. Jim belonged to Blair and the kids. Blair vowed that he was going to be tougher, so that Jim could see he would put up a fight. 

Life can be good. It’s just sometimes you have to guide it. Thank god, he’s a guide. Oh, and one more thing. You can’t trust that fucking CIA. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 19


	20. Sullivan's Pub Part 20

Sullivan's Pub 20  
Patt

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 20  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/13/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Summary: It’s Connor and Joel’s turn to have problems. But Jim and Blair have something happen in their family too. Rough seas ahead. 

Warnings: m/m, Humor, humor, humor and angst/angst/and more   
angst and then Description of Child Molestation. 

======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub 20  
Patt

“Chief, we’re going to be late for court.” Jim called down the hallway. 

“Do you want to get in here and talk to Jade then?” Blair huffed as he left her bedroom. 

“Jade honey, we have to be in court. If we don’t, we’ll get in trouble.” Jim said sternly. 

“I’m ready.” She jumped off the bed and ran for the front door. 

“Drake, are you ready?” Jim called. 

“Yeah, I’m ready, freddy.” Laughing he ran to the door and opened it. 

Blair turned to Jim and said, “I hate you. I’ve been trying for 20 minutes to get them out of their rooms.”

“It’s that Special Op.’s training.” Jim laughed all the way out to the truck, leaving Blair to lock up. 

Jim got both kids in their seat belts by the time Blair got to the truck. “Man, you’re fast. I give up.”

“Do I get whatever I want tonight?” Jim teased. 

“You better believe it.” Blair smiled over at his love and touched his hand to let him know how much he loved him. 

They dropped the kids at school and day care and headed to the Court House. It took a lot longer than they had anticipated, so Jim was a bear by the time he got out of there. 

Walking into Major Crime no one even asked. They could see the look on Jim’s face. In fact, they all hid and almost ran at the sight of him. Simon looked out and laughed to himself. Jim could be such a grump, but he was a dear man too. // Oh god, now you’re turning into a wuss, Banks. //

Jim started typing up some reports and Blair looked around like he was lost. “Chief, here are some you can work on, if you can’t find anything to do.” Jim snapped. 

“Hey, fuck you.” And Blair was off. 

Jim watched and saw him get into the elevator and go down to the garage. What was he doing? Jim stood up and looked at Simon and said, “I need to see where he went sir.”

“Call him on his cell.” Simon suggested with a smile. 

Jim dialed and Blair picked up and he said first thing, “I’m sorry, Sandburg.”

“Excuse me? No one calls me Sandburg on my cell.” And Blair hung it up. 

Jim dialed again and Blair answered, “What?”

“I love you, Chief.”

“I’ll be right up.” Blair closed his cell and smiled. He had actually only wanted some air. But Jim must have thought he left the building. // He’s so damn cute. //

When he got up there Jim was in the break room getting them each a cup of coffee. Blair smiled from the doorway and Jim smiled back when he met him there. “I meant what I said.”

“Good, now let’s get some work done.” Blair grabbed his cup and they got caught up on all of their paperwork for the week. 

Simon walked out of his office and said, “Sandburg, could I see you for a minute?”

“Sure, Captain. What’s up?”

“Let’s take a walk. I have to talk to you.” And the two men were on the elevator and Jim didn’t give it much thought. 

Jim was keeping a very low profile and Brown walked in, not seeing him and said, “Do you believe that shit about Drake?”

“What?” Jim jumped up in a panic. “Brown, what happened to him?”

“Nothing happened to him, but someone came and said they were his dad and the nurse tried to hand him over.” Brown explained calming Jim down. 

“So he’s okay? And Blair is with him? Why did Simon take Blair?”

“Because the guy was still there when one of the ladies called Simon. And Simon knew you would half-kill him. So he just took Sandburg.”

“Anyone know of a good private school?” Jim asked seriously. 

Dan had walked in and said, “Yeah, I went to one when I was a kid and it was great.” He wrote the name and address down and gave it to Jim. 

“Thanks, Dan. I’m going to check on it tomorrow.”

When Simon walked through the doors he was minus Blair or the suspect. 

“Don’t even ask Ellison. He’s downstairs getting him booked. It took me a damn half-hour to get him off the suspect. I should have taken you.” Simon cussed all the way into his office. 

Jim, Joel, Brown, Rafe, Connor, Brown and Dan all looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

“That’s my man.” Jim said proudly. “Wait a minute, where is Drake?” Jim ran for Simon’s office and threw the door open. 

“Before you start to panic. He wanted to stay at school, because he’s almost done with a project he’s working on for you. So Blair said to leave him. I called for a cop to keep an eye out until you pick him up.” Simon smiled at his worried officer. 

“Thanks, Simon. You take very good care of all of us.” Jim walked over to his desk and doodled on a pad until the doors open and Blair walked out. He looked up and found Blair’s eyes and smiled. 

Blair smiled back and whispered, Sentinel soft, “I love you.”

“Hey bruiser, I hear you’re giving this department a good name.” Henry laughed as he patted Blair on the back. 

“He was such a wuss too. He whined downstairs, saying I hurt him. He was as fucking big as Jim.” Blair laughed. 

“You okay, Chief?”

“Yeah, I’m dandy.”

“Blair, could I see you for a moment?” Joel asked and they walked back into Joel’s office. 

“What’s the deal today? No one wants to talk to me.” Jim laughed as he put his feet on his desk and waited for his partner to get back. 

“Jim, do you need a refill?” Connor asked as she was heading that way anyhow. 

“Yeah, thanks. Just black.”

“I think I know how you take your coffee.” Smiling she walked off. 

“Hey, any idea what Sullivan’s Survey is going to be about tonight?” Jim asked. 

“Haven’t heard a word. Connor doesn’t share that with her husband, let alone us.” Rafe said. 

Jim heard Connor’s heartbeat pick up and he stood to go and see if she was all right. She ran into him, dumping his coffee and hers all down the front of him. 

“Fuck… Fuck… Hot, hot, hot.” And Jim ran for the restroom. 

Connor looked at Brown and said, “Someone go and help him.”

“You did it, you fix it.” Rafe laughed. 

Megan walked into the mens restroom, not feeling comfortable and saw Jim’s jeans and shirt open. She grabbed some paper towels and got them wet with cool water and opened his shirt up and started making sure he wasn’t burned. 

“Pull you jeans down Jim so I can check and see if you’re burned.” Connor ordered. 

“Connor, I’m fine.”

“I’m not leaving until I see that it’s fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest to show him she meant business. 

“Fine.” Jim pulled his jeans and boxers down and she was checking him out wiping him with the cool paper towels when Simon walked in.

“Oh for Christ’s sake. Ellison, get you jeans up. Connor, what in the fuck are you doing?”

“I burned him sir, and I had to be sure there was no damage.” Connor said and then hurried from the room. 

“What is wrong with her?” Simon asked Jim, as if he had a clue. 

“Don’t know, sir. But she was walking back from the hallway and her heartbeat was way too fast and then ran into me.” Jim explained. 

“She was getting coffee? What?”

“Oh yeah, sorry sir. Now I’m bothered about her being upset down there. What’s over by the break room?”

“Interrogation rooms and Joel’s office. Why?” Simon wondered where this was going. 

“Sir, Blair wasn’t hurt was he?”

“He said he was fine. He told me not to worry about him.”

“Maybe he’s hurt.” Jim zipped his pants and started out the door. 

“Jim, maybe he doesn’t want anyone to know. Did you think about that?”

“Fine, I won’t say anything. God, I hate this shit.” Jim stormed out and saw Blair sitting at the computer doing his work. 

He sat down and didn’t say a word. Blair asked, “You were listening?”

“To what? I was in the restroom. Connor spilled coffee all over me.” Jim grumbled. 

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Are we almost done here?” Jim stood up to take his work into Simon’s office. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Blair took his and threw it in the basket by Simon’s desk. 

“Ellison and Sandburg, the man that was at the school used to be a cop. There must be some bad cops here that hate you two. So we’ll keep a watch on those kids from now on.” Simon was very disgusted that it was from one of their own. 

“Thanks for telling us, Simon.” Jim said as he walked out. 

“Yeah, thanks, man.” Blair followed Jim to the stairway. 

They walked down the stairs, instead of using the elevator. Not one word was spoken by either man. 

Jim got in and started the truck up and Blair said, “Ask me.”

“Ask you what?” Jim backed out of the slot, trying to act like he didn’t care about anything.

“Ask me if I was hurt.”

“Were you hurt?” Jim asked quietly. 

“Yeah, a little.” Blair also said it quietly. 

“I asked you upstairs if you were all right and you said you were fine.” Jim suddenly ranted. 

“Jim, I didn’t want you making a big thing out of it. I want them to think I’m a guy.”

“Blair, you are a guy.” Jim smiled over at him this time. 

“Well they treat me like a woman, most of the time. I didn’t want to be treated like that. I love you babe, but you over-react all the time.” It was Blair’s turn to rant. 

“Okay, I understand. And I’ll try and not do it from now on. Now tell me what’s wrong.” Jim said calmly. 

“We’ll discuss it once we’re home.” Blair jumped out of the SUV and ran into the Day Care Program for Jade. 

He came out holding her hand and Jim could see he was in pain. // Fuck, I hate when anyone hurts him. //

“Hi Daddy.” Jade kissed him and then got in her seat. 

“Hi sweetie. Did you have a good day?” 

“Yes, I did. I made a prize for your and Poppy.”

He looked over at Blair. “A surprise for us?” Blair asked. Jim smiled. Blair always seemed to know what was going on. 

“Yes Poppy. You’re gonna love it as much as me and Drake.” Blair turned and said, “I don’t think that’s possible honey. We love you more than anything.”

“Well okay.” Jim could see her thinking on that one. 

They drove up to Drake’s school and Jim said, “I’ll run in for him. You two stay put here.” 

Jim picked him up, signing for him and the Principle called him into his office. 

“Mr. Ellison, I want to apologize about Drake having to go through this twice.”

“It better never happen again, because I’ll have my lawyers on it so fast you won’t know what hit you.” Jim snarled. “Now, I need to get my son home for dinner.” They walked out and got into the SUV and Jim buckled him in. 

“Hi Poppy.” Drake said sweetly. 

“Hi honey. Did you have a good day?”

“Sure did. Wait till you and Daddy see what I made.”

“Why were you making presents?” Jim asked. 

“It’s your birthday coming up, silly.” Drake answered. 

The two men heard sniffling in the back seat and Jim asked, “Jadey? What’s wrong, honey?”

“I won’t have a present for you Daddy. I didn’t know it was your birthday.” Jade was wiping her face as fast as the tears came down. 

“How about you help me make his favorite dinner. You can do most of the work. That can be your gift.” Blair suggested. 

“I can do that, Poppy.” Jade was happy again. 

Once home, Blair started dinner and Jim said, “I got it. Go catch a shower.” Jim started to cook chicken stir fry. 

By the time Blair got out of the bathroom, everything was done. Jade and Drake were setting the table. Blair came out smiling at the sight and said, “Smells good babe.”

“We set the table, Poppy.” Drake said proudly. 

“And a fine job you did.” Blair kissed him and then Jade. 

While they ate dinner the kids told them of their day and Blair saw Jim smiling at all of them. He knew that Jim loved them all more than life itself. 

“Tonight we’re going to Sullivan’s Pub, so Linda is coming over.” Blair said calmly. 

“We wanna go with you.” Jade begged. 

“Jade, I told you. It’s a big people place.” Jim said. 

“I hate you.” Jade ran from the table and they could hear her cries. 

“She doesn’t really hate you, Daddy.” Drake got up and went into Jim’s arms.

“I know.” Jim said sadly. He was hoping he could make it until she was about ten before she screamed that at him. 

The doorbell rang and Blair let Linda in. “Better get yourself ready. Jade is pissed.” Blair smiled at her. 

“Oh that little lady is an angel. Jade, honey, come and see Linda.” 

Jade came running through the room and buried her face into Linda’s chest. “What’s wrong my little angel?”

“My daddy hates me.” Jade spoke with a broken heart. 

Jim got up and walked into the bedroom to change his clothes. 

“I think you might have hurt Daddy’s feelings. Why not go in and give him a hug and kiss.” Linda advised. 

Jade jumped up and ran down the hallway, looking for her Daddy. She looked into the bedroom and saw him picking something out to wear. Jim had heard her and said, “Jadey, would you help me pick out something to wear? I don’t want anyone to laugh at me.”

“Oh that would be fun.” And Jade ran in and started going through Jim’s things like mad. When she finished picking his things out, she said, “I’m sorry Daddy. I don’t hate you. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie.” Jim held her close for a long while. “Okay, now if you get out of here, I can get dressed.”

“Thank you for letting me pick everything out. You’re gonna look nice.” Jade ran down the hallway and told Blair and Linda about what she and Jim had been doing. 

When Jim walked out, Blair burst out laughing. Jade looked at Blair and said, “Poppy, you don’t like it?”

“It just took me off guard. It looks wonderful. Good job honey.” Blair smiled as he walked to the front door. 

“Night Linda. We’ll be at the usual place and if you have any problems, feel free to call us.” Jim said as he walked out the front door. 

Blair was by the SUV leaned over laughing. “Very funny Chief. She picked them out. I had to wear them.”

“You look great babe. Just great.” Blair got in and pulled Jim in for a kiss.”

“Who’s idea was it to have kids again?” Jim asked as he backed out of the driveway. 

“Sounds like something you would suggest, Jim.”

“Fuck you, Chief.”

“Only if you’re a good boy.”

The two good boys walked into Sullivan’s and everyone turned and looked and burst out laughing. 

Jim had on a long sleeve camouflage shirt in green, brown and black with a short sleeved sweater vest in blue. His pants were tan corduroy, not the thin wale but the wide wale. Then he had on two different boots. One Camouflage boot and one Biker black boot. 

Jim walked proudly into the room and said, “I’ll have you know that Jadey dressed me tonight.” 

“Jim, while you’re here you could take off the sweater vest, right?” Blair asked. “I didn’t even know they made these anymore.”

“Oh shut up.” Jim kissed him and pulled the vest off and sat down.

“Jim, you are so whipped. First it was Sandburg, not it’s Jadey.” Brown was teasing him bad now. 

“For that, you don’t get to call her Jadey. Only I do.” Jim pretended he was mad. 

“Connor, how is Ellie?” Blair called out. 

“She’s fine. You guys must have spoiled her rotten over the weekend. She’s a brat.”

“Honey, she’s not a brat.” Joel said seriously. 

“Honeybear, she’s a friggin brat.” Connor seemed irritated. 

“Everything all right, Connor?” Jim asked. 

“I’d like to start the damn survey is all.” Connor almost shouted. 

Jim got up and walked down and grabbed Connor and pulled her away from the table. “Come with me, Missy.”

They went into the mens restroom and Jim said, “Care to fill me in?”

“You promise not to tell Joel?”

“All right.” Jim waited for the bombshell.

“Joel went to lunch with a girl from records yesterday. Everyone saw them and everyone told me he was holding her hand.” Connor was teary eyed as she looked up at Jim. 

“First of all you know how touchy he is. Maybe he was helping out a friend. You know that Joel would never fool around on you.” Jim pulled her into a hug and then stepped back. “Ready to go out and face the world?”

“I guess. I think something is wrong, Jim.” Connor walked out and back to the table. 

Jim figured he would watch Joel as the night went on. 

“Okay, everyone, here we go.” Connor said quickly. 

Connor: These are signs that we’re too stressed. Now let’s tell each other if they remind you of one or the other person. 

Connor: Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest. 

Jim: (Spitting his beer all over Blair.) Sorry babe. But you have to admit, this is funny.

Blair: But do you see it as something we would do?

Jim: Sure. 

Simon: Shut up, both of you. This is dumb. 

Sully: Simon, be nice. Place nice with the other kids. 

Dan: (Laughing.) Yeah, what she said. And I for one talk to my dead Gramma all the time. I see her and everything.

Sam: You do?

Dan: Yes, it’s way cool. I’ll never miss her this way. 

Joel: I’ve never had it happen and don’t want it to. I don’t want to see Dead People. 

Jim: Oh shit, I do see dead people.

Dan: Well so do I.

Simon: But she means, walking and talking. 

Jim: Oh. 

Dan: Thank god, eh Jim?

Blair: We do see dead people walking and talking. Sometimes. 

Jim: Oh yeah, we do. 

Rafe: Well I never have but would like to see my Mom. 

Brown: You miss your Mom, babe?

Rafe: No, she hid something of mine in the house and I wasn’t able to find it. 

Jim: (Laughing) Figures. Brown, get away from him while you can. 

Brown: Not a chance, Ellison, not a chance. I’m in love. 

Jim: I’m in love too. 

Simon: Me three. 

Dan: Me four. 

Everyone sat and looked at Joel and waited for him to say something. When he didn’t add me five, they all knew that something was wrong. 

Connor: You can achieve a "runner's high" just by sitting up.

Blair: Doesn’t everyone feel this?   
Jim: (Laughing.) No.   
Rafe: Ellison, it’s because they’re not in as good of shape as us.  
Brown: Oh fuck you.   
Blair: And the prize goes to Rafe and Brown for the first Fuck you.   
Dan: I feel this way when I get out of bed sometimes. Does that count?  
Sam: You’re so damn cute.   
Simon: He is, isn’t he? I feel this way every time Ellison walks into the bullpen.   
Jim: Very funny.   
Simon: I was serious.   
Sully: I’ve been lightheaded lately. Do you think it’s stress Connor?  
Connor: Don’t have a clue.   
Joel: I feel like this all the time. I need to start working out with Jim and Rafe.   
Connor: Trees begin chasing you.  
Jim: I don’t even get that one.   
Connor: Well don’t ask me.   
Blair: I sometimes think everything is chasing me.  
Rafe: It’s everyone, Hairboy. Everyone.   
Brown: Yeah, you’re still having to run from all of those women. Doesn’t that bother you, Ellison?  
Jim: No.   
Simon: That means yes. Tell us all about the trees that are chasing you, Jim.   
Jim: Fuck you.   
Dan: I can’t. Sam won’t let me.  
Sam: Knock it off Dan. He’s pissed.   
Jim: Not at you, Sam.  
Sam: Thank you, sugar.   
Dan: Are you flirting with my wife, while I’m sitting here?  
Jim: Never.   
Sully: I sometimes feel like something is behind me and I look and nothing is there. Does anyone do this?  
Simon: OH yeah honey. We all do.   
Sully: You don’t have to be nasty.  
Simon: I wasn’t being nasty.  
Joel: I think something or someone if following me a lot.   
Jim: Want to talk about it?  
Joel: No. 

Connor: You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.

Jim: Blair alert.   
Simon: Sandburg alert.   
Joel: Sandburg alert.   
Rafe: Brown and Sandburg alert.   
Sully: This could be me.   
Sam: This is me.   
Dan: I love my morning coffee, afternoon coffee, evening coffee and who could forget that bedtime coffee?  
Blair: You all think I drink too much coffee?   
Jim: No way, babe.   
Rafe: You kiss ass good, Ellison.   
Brown: You think I drink too much coffee?   
Rafe: Answer for me, Ellison. You already know how to do it.   
Jim: Fuck you, Rafe.   
Rafe: Nah, Henry doesn’t let me.   
Simon: Connor, where is the next one?  
Connor: You and Reality file for a divorce.

Connor: I know something of this.  
Joel: (Looking sad) We’ll talk later Meg.  
Jim: Reality? What the fuck is that?   
Blair: Yeah, what he just said.   
Simon: I like this one, I think I want a cup with this. Honey, will you write it down.   
Sully: Sure babe. And I have to step back from reality a lot.   
Sam: Me too.   
Dan: Me three.   
Rafe: Me four.   
Brown: Me five. Thank god, I’m older than Jade. (Laughing)  
Jim: Only in age, Brown.   
Connor: Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.  
Jim: Wow, does this one scream out Simon or what?   
Blair: Simon alert.   
Dan: Wow, that even screams Simon to me.   
Sam: Simon, are you under too much pressure?  
Simon: I’m in charge of these nuts. What do you think?   
Sully: Hey, they might be nuts, but their our nuts.   
Rafe: I eat a lot of them too.  
Blair: Nuts, or rolaids?   
Rafe: Fuck you, Sandburg. Rolaids.   
Brown: It’s because you worry to much, Bri.  
Rafe: I’ll try not to.   
Joel: I’ve been eating them a lot too.  
Jim: Is there something wrong, Joel?  
Blair: Yeah, are you all right, big guy?  
Joel: Thanks for the concern. I’m fine.

Connor: You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.

Simon: (Falling off his chair laughing.) Connor, that is worth this survey.   
Connor: Thank you.  
Jim: (Howling) It’s a riot. God, I do this all the time.   
Blair: He doesn’t even realize he just insulted himself.   
Brown: You gotta love that man.   
Blair: Well I know I do.   
Rafe: We all do.   
Dan: Jim, I do this too. When you’re in the mood next time, come downstairs and we can see who can argue with themselves the best.   
Sam: You two are nuts.   
Sully: And that’s why we love them.   
Jim: Connor, have you ever done this?   
Connor: Yes.   
Jim: Do you suppose Ellie already has?  
Connor: I don’t think so.  
Blair: Connor, something wrong?  
Connor: No, I’m fine.  
Joel leaned into Connor and whispered something and got up and said, “Sorry everyone. I have to leave. See you all tomorrow.”  
“So we’re done?” Simon asked hopefully.   
“Sure, don’t worry about it.” Connor got up and walked into the restroom.   
“I’m going to check on her.” Sam said, but Jim caught her arm and said, “I’ll get her.”  
Jim walked into the restroom and realized the women’s one was much nicer than the men’s. “Hey Connor, how come your restroom is nicer than the guys?”  
“Ellison get out of here.”  
“Nope, come on, you and I are going to go talk.” Jim pulled the stall door open and grabbed Connor and yanked her out of the room. “You could have asked.” Connor spit out.   
“You would have said no. Let’s tell everyone that we’re going for a ride.”  
They walked over to the table and Jim said, “Can someone take Sandburg home when this is done? I’m taking Connor for a ride.”  
Everyone watched the two friends walk out the door and Simon said, “So what’s up with Joel?”  
“He took a woman out.” Brown said.   
“No, he wouldn’t do that to Connor.” Blair was in shock.  
“Well he did. And now he’s having second thoughts about his wife, I would say.” Rafe added.   
“Where are you getting this shit from?” Simon was upset as hell.   
“We were in the restaurant and Joel didn’t look before he started making out with her.” Brown was pissed and everyone could tell.   
“I can’t believe this.” Simon sat there in shock with the others.   
“They’re so good together.” Sam said and then started to cry. Dan moved her closer and said, “This might just be a phase.”  
“Women don’t look at things like that, Dan.” Sully said tears in her eyes too.   
“And how do they look at them?” Simon asked.   
“Simon if you did it to me, I would think you didn’t want me anymore. Simple as that.” Sully put her head in her hands and started to cry softly.   
“Why are you crying. They didn’t break up. It’s just a misunderstanding.” Simon assured them.   
They all continued to talk and decided that it was so unlike Joel to do this. But they would wait for the outcome from Joel and Connor.   
Meanwhile across town Jim and Connor were sitting in a restaurant and talking quietly. Sometimes it was great having your best friend turn out to be a Sentinel.   
“So have you noticed anything wrong, lately, Connor?”  
“He’s wanted blow jobs and I’m not comfortable with them. I’m not good at them. I’ve tried Jim, really I have.” She looked up at Jim with tears in her eyes.   
“It takes practice, Connor. Do you think it was easy for us?”  
Jim pulled his phone out and called Joel. “Taggert.”  
“Hey big guy. Where are you?” Jim asked.  
“Getting ready to head home.”  
“Can I pick you up?”  
“Sure, I’ve had too much to drink anyhow. I’m at Bernie’s place.” Joel closed his phone.   
Then Jim dialed Blair’s phone. “Sandburg.”  
“Chief, meet me at Connor’s house, please?”   
“You got it.” Blair called for a cab.   
When they got to Bernie’s, Jim walked back and nudged Joel and said, “Time to go, big guy.”  
“Jim, I’ve got a problem.”  
“What?” Jim asked quietly.   
“I was with another woman.”  
“Joel, why would you do that?”  
“I felt like I would never sleep with anyone else again.”  
“You’re not supposed to Joel.” Jim was getting pissed off.   
“She doesn’t like to give blow jobs.”  
“So teach her, Joel. God, don’t fuck around on your wife because she’s not good at it.” Jim was officially pissed now.   
When he climbed in the truck and saw his wife he pulled her into his arms and started crying. “I’m so sorry Meggie. I’m so sorry.”  
“Please don’t leave me, Joel. Please?” Connor begged.   
“I would never leave you, baby. I love you.”  
“And I’ll try harder to get the blow job technique down.”  
“Baby, you suck me just fine. I love when you do it. Did you think you didn’t do it well enough?” Joel asked sweetly.   
Jim was driving hoping they wouldn’t say anymore. “Joel, if you have a problem with her technique, then tell her about it. You can show her a better way to suck you off.”  
“Meggie, you don’t seem to act like you really want it in your mouth.” Joel said shyly.   
Jim was in shock that they were talking in front of him.  
“When you’re fully aroused I can’t seem to get you into my mouth right. Maybe I need someone to show me.” Megan said.   
“Jim, would you show her?” Joel asked.   
“No. You guys do it yourselves. You’ll get it just fine.”  
“He’s right, Meggie. Come here Meggie.” Joel pulled her over and took her panties off and pulled her down on him and he then opened his fly and pulled his cock out. When he slid into Megan she was making little noises.   
Jim tried to keep his mind on driving, but the smells and the sounds were almost too much for him. They came up to a train and had to wait, with Jim praying to God, that he didn’t come in his pants.   
Joel was lifting Connor up to meet each thrust and then let her push herself down. They were both making a lot of noise. Joel saw Jim watching them and saw how hard he was and felt bad for doing this to their friend.   
Joel scooted over a little bit and started rubbing Jim’s cock through his pants. Jim was so close. He put Joel’s hand on the seat and said, “I’ll try and wait for Blair, thanks anyhow.”  
Jim knew that a sober Joel, would be a very embarrassed Joel. The train finished running by and Joel’s house wasn’t that far from there. // Thank god. //  
Jim drove up and Blair could see Connor and Joel going to town. He walked over and said, “Boy, they couldn’t wait, eh?”  
Jim took hold of Blair’s hand and put it on his cock and Blair looked up at him and smiled.   
Joel and Megan got out of the SUV and they all walked up to the house. Jim and Blair made sure they got in all right and then they walked back to the truck.   
When Blair opened the door, he said, “Whoa. Talk about the smell of sex. Hey the loft is closer.”  
Jim took off like a bat out of hell and they ran up the stairs to #307. This time, they didn’t notice if they missed it or not. They were both way too horny.   
Jim fucked Blair like there was no tomorrow, and Blair for one, was damn happy about it.   
They drove home after they cuddled for awhile and got Linda on her way.   
“Chief, you have to help me clean my closet out of ugly clothing. We don’t want Jade picking stuff out for me again.” Jim smiled as he pushed Blair into the room.   
“What’s your favorite thing?” Jim asked softly kissing Blair’s lips.   
“Tongue fucked and then fucked.” Blair was getting hard again just thinking about it.   
“Hang on a minute, I’m going to get some Chocolate Syrup.” He walked out to the kitchen and while he was bent over looking for the syrup’s Jade came between his legs.   
“Hi Daddy. What cha looking for?”  
“Chocolate Syrup.” Jim answered truthfully.   
“Its in the door, thing.” Jade showed him where it was.   
“You need to go back to bed, little girl.”  
She started wailing and said, “I want ice cream and topping.”  
“Jade, it’s bedtime. Now get into bed and I’ll tuck you.” Jim watched as Jade ran into her room screaming.   
“Jade stop screaming, right now.” Jim said it loudly and scared Jade. Then she began to sob.   
Blair walked into the room and said, “Jim, you don’t yell at Jade because something isn’t going your way.”  
Jim glared at Blair and said, “Fine, you take over then.” Jim threw the syrup and walked out of the room.   
Drake came running into Jade’s room and whispered, “Oh god, daddy is leaving isn’t he?”  
“No, Daddy isn’t leaving. He’s just tired and angry tonight.”  
“Jade want me to sleep with you?” Drake asked sweetly.   
“No, I want my Daddy. I want my Daddy. I want my Daddy.” Jim walked into the room and said, “Okay, Jadey. I’m sorry. I’ll lay with you for awhile.”  
Jim crawled onto the bed and took her into his arms. He leaned over and gave Drake a kiss and said, “You go back to bed. Poppy, can you tuck him in?”  
“I sure can.” Blair took Drake and got his settled for Blair to read him a book.   
An hour later Jim walked into their bedroom, slipped his clothes off and slid into bed. Blair moved over towards him and said, “I was afraid I might be losing you tonight. You scared me.”  
“Blair, you’re never going to lose me. You might dump me, but I’ll never leave you. I love you so much.”  
“Same here, hot shot. Let’s stop the fighting.”  
“What would you like me to do?” Jim asked his love.   
“Just hold me and tell me you love me.” Blair answered.   
“I can do that for the rest of our lives.”  
“Call Connor tomorrow and see how things are, all right?”  
“You know I will Chief. Good night, babe. I love you. I’ll love you forever.” Jim heard when Blair’s heartbeat slowed down and he knew he was sleeping.   
Only then did Jim allow some tears to fall down his face. He had been a total asshole with his child. One of these times Blair ‘was’ going to leave him.   
Blair moved closer to Jim and said, “I’m not sleeping man. Let me turn around.” Blair turned and kissed Jim’s face and kissed all of his tears off.   
“I don’t want you sad alone. You tell me. Wake me up and we’ll share those sad times. Understand?” Blair looked into Jim’s watery eyes.   
“Yeah, I’ll wake you up next time. I swear. Will you hold me, Blair?”  
“Forever and ever. Sleep big man, things will be better tomorrow.  
In the morning Jim could hear Blair talking to Connor. Blair walked into the bedroom and said, “It’s for you.”  
“Hey Connor. How did it go?”  
“He moved out. He left me and Ellie. I don’t know what to do.” A sobbing Connor is not something you want to hear.   
“He’ll come around, Connor. You know Joel.”  
“He wants to be with that other woman.” Connor was still crying.   
“I’ll talk to him this morning.” Jim said and then they hung up the phone.   
Jim got into the shower and just leaned his head against the wall. Blair opened the shower door and said, “Ready for breakfast?”  
“I’ve lost my appetite. I’ll be out in a short while.” Blair closed the door and went back into the kitchen.   
The shower door opened again and Drake said, “I get to take a shower with you this morning.”  
“Okay, come on let’s get busy. We don’t want to be late for school.” Jim soaped him up and then lathered up his hair. Once Drake was all rinsed off he screamed for Blair. Blair laughed all the way into the bathroom and grabbed him. As he was drying Drake off, a little naked Jade walked in and opened up the shower stall.   
Before Blair could say anything Jim grabbed her and soaped her up and lathered her hair. Holding her up he asked, “Ready for the rinse?”  
“Yeah Daddy, I’m ready.” And Jim took the removable shower head and hosed her down. She was giggling and laughing the entire time.   
Blair asked, “You done with her?”  
“She’s all yours love.” Blair started drying her off and showed her what she was going to wear that day. “Poppy, I love when I get to shower with Daddy.”  
“Good, I’m glad you had fun. Now let’s get busy and be ready when Daddy gets out.  
Blair sat the kids down in front of toons and went into the bathroom. Jim looked up and said, “Problems?”  
“NO, I thought maybe you’d like to be fucked first thing this morning.”   
“Chief, we don’t have enough time.”  
“We have enough time for this.” Blair pulled the towel down and started to suck on Jim’s cock till he was hard as a rock. When the moaning started Blair got up and locked the bathroom door and then began again.   
In a total of ten minutes, Jim was coming down Blair’s throat. // God, he’s good at that. //  
“Can I do you?” Jim asked.   
“I wouldn’t complain.”  
So Jim proceeded to give Blair one of the best blow jobs he’d ever done. It didn’t even take Blair five minutes to shoot his load down Jim’s throat.  
Blair straightened himself up and left Jim in the bathroom to finish.   
Everyone looked up when Jim walked out and Jade said, “You look real cute, Daddy.”  
Blair leaned into him and said, “I think she has a crush on her Daddy.”  
Jim smiled as he led everyone outside.   
“Drake, are you okay with the school you’re at, or do you want to go to another one?” Jim asked as he drove down the street.   
“I love my school, Daddy.”  
“Okay, that’s good enough for me.” Jim smiled at Blair and then they all talked about anything and everything for the rest of the drive.   
When they got to the bullpen, Jim looked around for Joel. He was no where to be found. // Damn. //  
Simon walked by and Jim grabbed him and asked, “Did you hear from Joel today?”  
“Yeah, he said he’s going to transfer. So today he’s up in homicide.” Simon looked totally disgusted.   
“Simon, does it sound like Joel to take up with another woman and then dump his wife?”  
“No, not at all. But he did.” Both Simon and Jim were trying to think.   
“I’m going to go upstairs and tell him I need him for something from down here. And then we’ll find out why he’s doing this.”  
“Good luck, Ellison.” Simon patted his back as he walked by. Jim went up to Homicide and asked to see Joel Taggert.   
“Jim, this isn’t a good time.” Joel stuck his head out the door and stated.   
“Joel, I’m in trouble. I need help.”  
Joel opened the door and said, “Get in here. What’s wrong? What did you do?”  
“I hit Blair last night and he left me.”  
“There is no fucking way. You would never hurt Blair. Not on purpose anyhow. What’s wrong?” Joel sat across from Jim and waited.   
Jim took Joels hands in his and said, “Joel, I don’t want you to leave your wife and baby.”  
“Jim, I have to.”  
“Why?” Jim almost screamed.   
“This woman is from my past and she knows something that could ruin my reputation.”  
“Tell me Joel and I’ll tell you if it will ruin it.”  
“I used to sleep with her a few years back and her brother. We were a threesome for many years. Then I came to my senses and gave that life up. Well she’s going to go to Simon and the Commissioner if I don’t take her in. So I have no choice.”  
“Joel, you have a lot of choices. One of them is to talk to Simon about this person blackmailing you. And next, you need to move back home. Your wife can’t stop crying. Have you slept with this girl since she approached you this time?”  
“No Jim. But you don’t understand. I was drawn to her and her brother again. God, what’s wrong with me?” Joel hung his head.   
“You’re bi Joel. It’s not the end of the world. Now you have to decide what you want to do with Megan.” Jim wasn’t trying to push, but he was worried about Megan.   
“You think Simon would understand?” Joel asked with a look of fear in his eye.   
“You betcha. Look how he’s stuck behind me and Blair all this time. Now go downstairs, take back the transfer paper and call you wife.”  
“I will Jim. I will.” Joel got up and hugged Jim for a long time.   
“If you need me, you know where I am.” Jim said leaving the room.   
Two hours later his phone rang and he said, “Ellison.”  
“What did you do? Whatever it was, it worked. Joel’s here and he’s happy to be here.” Connor was very cheerful.   
“Well I told him to tell everything to Simon and Simon would understand. It wasn’t a big thing.”  
“Jim, you’re not going to tell anyone are you?”  
“Nope.” Jim said simply.   
“Okay, thanks. I love you Jim. Say hi to Sandy for me.” And Connor hung up the phone.   
Jim kind of felt that there was nothing to be ashamed of. But Connor must have felt differently.   
The day flew by and when it was time to pick up the kids, Jim and Blair were so out of there.  
“Jim, do you believe how fast the day went today?”  
“Yup.”  
“You mad?”  
“Nope.”  
“All right, I’m not in a Western film. What’s going on?”  
“I’m just happy, Chief. I love you. I love life. I love our kids and our friends. Life is fucking good.”  
“Okay, yeah, I totally agree. I love you too.” Blair smiled over at Jim as he blew a kiss.   
In the school’s parking lot, Jim parked and said, “I’ll be right back.”  
Jim ran in to get Drake. He went to his Kindergarten class and it was empty. Jim started running as he went to the office and he could hear Drake sobbing.   
“Oh Mr. Ellison, we were so worried.” Mr. Kenner said.   
“What’s wrong? Why wasn’t he in class?” Jim picked Drake up and he went into Jim’s arms and Jim could tell he’d been crying for a long time.   
“School got out early today.” Kenner added.   
“No one notified us. Why didn’t someone call us?” Jim was very upset by this time.   
“Parents are supposed to know where their children are.”  
“I wasn’t notified. How was I supposed to know?” Jim said trying to defend himself over the fact that he wasn’t here.  
Blair walked through the doors and saw his lover on the verge of tears and asked, “What’s going on?”  
So they told Blair what they had told Jim. “Whoa. Back up. We were here yesterday and no one told us anything. We’ve never received a calendar of events for the year or anything. Could we please have one?”  
“We’re all out.” The snotty bitch said.   
“Jim go and wait in the car.” Jim didn’t even question it, he left the room. “I’m getting a lawyer and we’re suing your asses. You’re not getting away with this. I need his transcripts for his new school.”  
Mr. Kenner said, “Oh you don’t want to move him from a place he likes.”  
“You’re all nuts and I’ll see to it that you all suffer for not giving me what we need for the transfer.” Blair walked out of the office and heard them all start laughing.   
He called Jade’s Day Care to let them know that he was on his way.  
Jim was sitting in the passenger side. Drake was sound to sleep in the back seat.   
Blair got in and pulled the seat up to drive with shorter legs. “Jim, we’re putting him in a new school, baby. They were cruel and heartless. They were laughing after we left.”  
“I could hear them out here.” Jim almost whispered.   
“Jim, it’s not our fault. Okay?”  
“I love you Blair.” And Jim leaned towards Blair for a much needed kiss.   
When Blair pulled up to Jade Day Care, he said, “Jim could you go and get her please?”  
“Sure.”   
When he came walking out, Jim was smiling and holding his little girls hand. Jade had a way of making everyone smile and feel happy.   
Once she was buckled in, she started talking non-stop about what a great day she had. Jim and Blair were thankful for one of them at least having a good day.   
Drake woke when they got home and he went and sat in his room. Jim sat down next to him and said, “Drake, I’m so sorry for not being there. Will you forgive me?”  
“Daddy, if they did something to me, can I tell you?”  
Jim jumped up and said calmly, let me get Poppy first. I’ll be right back.  
Blair and Jim came right back into the room and Jade was watching cartoons.   
“Drake, now talk to us. Tell us what happened today.” Blair was trying to make himself calm down a little.   
“I had to go pottie, so while I was in there, two big boys took my pants off and put me in the room naked.” And little Drake started sobbing.   
Jim held him and said, “Anything else, baby?”  
“Mr. Kenner took me to his office, but he never gave me my clothes back. I was naked. Daddy, I was naked.” And again, there was a lot of sobbing.   
“I’ve got you Drake. No one’s going to hurt you now. Is that all?” Jim said quietly.   
“Mr. Kenner touched me.” Drake was still crying and Jim got up and started pacing while holding him. “It’s all right, baby. It’s all right. We’re going to fix this.”  
“Is that all, Drake?” Blair asked.   
“He made me stay naked in his office for a long time. I kept asking if I could call you.”  
“I’m so sorry, Drakey. I’m so sorry.” Jim started to cry. He couldn’t hold it back anymore.   
Blair got up and called Simon and told him what happened. He, Henry and Rafe were coming over to take the statement and be sure that that man didn’t do anything more.   
Jim lay in bed with Drake and just held him. When he heard their friends at the door, he knew he had to stay strong. Jim walked out of the room and said, “Hey guys. Want me to bring Drake out here?”  
“No, Jim. Let’s do it in his room, where he’s comfortable. You can hold him the whole time.” Simon said.   
They started asking the questions and Drake answered and kept crying again. Jim looked at Rafe once and could see he was on the verge of crying. When everything was all said and done, Simon gave Jim and Blair a week off to find Drake a new school and to see an attorney.   
So that’s what they did. That night they all fell asleep in Jim and Blair’s bed. Jim didn’t want those darlings far from him. It worked out well because Drake woke up many times and Jim would comfort him.   
This was going to take a long time to get over, but Blair and Jim had no doubt that they’d make it. Their friends would be there for them and Drake would heal. Jim and Blair knew that he would have to go into therapy right away. Jim was thinking they should all go. It might help. They were a family, they were going to have to tackle this together.  
You might get shit on from time to time, but life is still good. Just a little stinky off and on. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 20


	21. Sullivan's Pub Part 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: m/m WARNING_WARNING_WARNING… Please don’t read this if the description of child abuse hurts you. It hurt me and I was just writing it. There is a happy ending, but getting there is very hard. 
> 
> WARNING- okay, here is another. Someone in the bullpen might have done something that is wrong. Who will be the judge? Just like to warn everyone.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 21  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/16/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Author's website: 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: I promise that I’m making the next two funny. I’m totally bummed out with serious for awhile. Well I can try anyhow. 

Summary: What really happened to poor little Drake. How will this affect everyone? This one is totally serious and it’s so friggin sad, I was crying. 

Warnings: m/m WARNING_WARNING_WARNING… Please don’t read this if the description of child abuse hurts you. It hurt me and I was just writing it. There is a happy ending, but getting there is very hard. 

WARNING- okay, here is another. Someone in the bullpen might have done something that is wrong. Who will be the judge? Just like to warn everyone.

======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub 21  
Patt

“Brown, have you found that fucking weasel yet?” Simon yelled out. 

“Not yet sir. Still looking. He’s not going to get away.” Brown swore. 

“Has anyone checked on Ellison and Sandburg this morning?” Connor asked as she walked by. 

“No, we’ve been busy, Connor. You go and check on them.” Rafe snapped. 

“Everyone, this is a horrible thing. Now we’re all on edge so let’s not take it out on each other.” Simon ordered. 

Joel said, “Come on, Meg, we’ll go and check on them after we stop by the school.”

“What are you going to the school for?” An irritated Rafe asked. 

“Because it’s not just that fucking weasel. They all fucking knew and let it happen. They hurt that poor little five year old boy. They’re going down for it.” Joel walked towards the elevator and was joined by Brown and Rafe. “We’re going too.” Rafe said as he jumped onto the lift. 

“Meg, could you go and check on them alone?” 

“Yes, I’ll go now.” She turned to Simon and said, “Is that all right?”

“Yes, they were pretty upset last night, with good reason. But we haven’t heard a word from them all day.” Simon walked her to the elevator. “Connor, instead, check out the new school that Jim was interested in. The private one.”

“Will do sir.” Conner went on her way, glad to have something to do.

Jim opened up the front door and was surprised to find Sam standing there. “Hey Sam. What’s up?”

“Can the crap Jim. I’m your lawyer, why wasn’t I called?”

“Come on in. Sit down. Would you like a drink?” Jim asked. 

“No, I don’t want a damn drink, Jim. I want to know why you and Blair didn’t call me.”

“We’ve been too upset. Blair cried all night long. He’s taking this really hard. So I just got up myself.” Jim looked like walking death. Dark circles around his eyes and a sadness on his face that said to everyone, ‘someone tried to kill me’.

“Well sit down and I’ll make some breakfast up for the kids and you. Okay?” Sam didn’t wait for an answer and went right to the kitchen and found the things she needed. 

Jade heard her in the kitchen and said, “Hey Auntie Sam. How are you?”

“Hi my little Jade. I’m fine. How are you?”

“Not that great. We been crying.” Jade said it softly and sadly. “All cept Daddy.”

“Daddy hasn’t been crying?” Sam asked. 

“Nope, he’s been holding all of us. Want me to help with brefface?”

“No sweetie, I got it. Why don’t you sit with Daddy. He’s in the living room.” Jade went running and in and said, “Daddy, I’m not gonna cry no more taday.”

“Okay, that’s good. Crying is all right, but too much crying makes you tired.” Jim said lifting her up to his lap. 

“You still love Drakey don’t you?”

“Jade, how could you ask that? Of course I love him. I adore both of you.” Jim said sadly. 

“I wanna get down.” Jade squirmed and got off Jim’s lap. She went to Sam and held her arms up.

Sam lifted her up and asked, “What’s wrong baby?”

“Daddy is still mean.”

“Daddy isn’t mean, maybe you mean mad?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah, Daddy is still mad. He just talked loud at me. I want my old daddy back.” Jade looked so sad. 

Jim came around the corner and held his arms out for his little girl. “I’m still your old daddy. I’m just sad. We can be sad together, Jade. You can take care of me.” Jim kissed her on her face and just took in her scent. 

“I could take good care of you.” Jade said and rubbed his face. Jim leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes as she rubbed his face, over and over again.

Jim slid down the wall and landed on the floor, with a thunk and Sam made sure he was all right before she went back to cooking. 

When breakfast was all done, she looked at Jade and she was sound asleep with Jim on the floor. She walked into Jim and Blair’s room and woke Blair up. 

“Oh man, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing honey. I made breakfast. I think it would do you good to eat.”

“You’re right. Let me wake Drake up and we’ll be out. Thanks, Sam.” Blair got Drake up and they both went into the bathroom. 

When she walked into the kitchen, Jim wasn’t there anymore. “Jade honey? Where is Daddy?”

“He said he had to go pottie.”

“Okay. Come over here and sit at the table. I made a nice breakfast up for you.” Sam sat her down. 

“Don’t tell him I told you, but he was crying.” She whispered very softly. 

“I’ll get him and have him eat something.” Sam walked into the bathroom without even knocking. She knew he wasn’t peeing. 

“I need some time alone, Sam.” Jim said in a very hoarse voice. 

“Tough shit. Come here.” She pulled Jim into her arms and he began to cry very softly. “Jim, you’re a good daddy. It wasn’t your fault. No matter what you think, it’s not your fault. 

She rubbed his back and the tears were calming down, so she decided to bring some other things up. “Jim, I’ve got the paperwork for the suits against the school and five people that work there. I just need you and Blair to sign them.”

“Sure, we’ll sign them. Sam what would you do if they did this to your new baby?” Jim looked at her with his red rimmed eyes and waited for her response. 

“I think I’d be tempted to kill him or them.” Sam answered. 

“That’s what I want to do. God, I need to kill them.” And Jim started crying harder this time. 

Blair walked in and said, “I’ll take over. The tough guy didn’t cry once last night, so now he’s going to make up for it.” Jim went right into his arms and let Blair soothe him. 

“Jim, Jade really wants you to eat breakfast with them. It’s important that they feel you don’t hate them.” Sam was stunned at the shocked look on both men’s faces. 

“We could never hate them.” Blair said sadly. 

“Then come out and have breakfast.” Sam walked out and sat down with the kids. 

“Where’s my daddy and Poppy?” Drake looked very fearful. 

“They’re in the bathroom. They’ll be right out. Let’s start to eat.” 

Drake started to cry and said, “I need my Daddy and my Poppy.”

Jim and Blair came right out and Jim held Drake and Blair held Jade while they ate breakfast. 

After they were done eating, Sam asked Drake if he felt like answering questions for her. Drake looked at Jim and said, “Will you come with me?”

“You know I will honey. Let’s go in your room, so we don’t upset Jade.”

“Jim, we need to talk about it in front of Jade. The more she knows the better.” Sam wasn’t leaving any room for discussion. 

Sam sat down and said, “Jade, do you know why everyone’s crying?”

“At first I thought Drake’s penis fell off. But Daddy said it’s still there. Then Daddy told me that someone touched Drake on his penis.”

“That’s right honey, and that’s wrong.” Sam said calmly. 

“He didn’t mean to.” Jade answered. 

“No, sweetie, I mean it was wrong for the person that touched Drake.”

“Oh…”

“Drake did he do anything else to you?” Sam waited for his answer and so did Jim and Blair. 

“Drake, no one will yell at you. Did he do anything that upset you or hurt you?”

“Yeah.”

“You have to tell me honey. I can’t guess.” Sam said sweetly. 

“My daddy is going to beat my ass.” Drake leaned over and started sobbing.

“Why would I do that Drake? I would never say that to you.” Jim was trying not to panic. 

“He told me if I told you what he did, you’d beat my ass.” 

“Well he was wrong. Baby, you can tell me anything, anytime, anywhere. I love you so much. And no one is allowed to hurt you. I promise he won’t ever hurt you again.” And as Jim kissed him and held him he smelled blood. 

Jim got up with Drake in his arms and started pacing while he was trying not to cry. 

“Sam, what’s going on?” Blair asked. 

“Do you think he smelled something? I don’t know.”

“Drake, tell Poppy what that man did to you. Jim, hold still.”

“He hurt me.” Drake said into Jim’s shoulder. 

“How did he hurt you, Drake. We need to know right now.” Blair was being more stern now, hoping it would make Drake answer. 

“He and someone else put things up my butt.”

“What kind of things, Drake?”

“I don’t know.”

“Drake, do you know what a penis looks like?” Sam asked and Jim swung around with a look of shock on his face. 

“Course I do. I have one and I see Daddy’s everyday in the shower.”

“So what was put up you didn’t look like a penis?” Sam was pushing. 

“One time it was his fingers. Then his friend came in and that friend used his fingers too. Then the last time it was something hard. It hurt, Daddy. It hurt.” 

“I know Drake. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Blair, who is this second man?”

“I’ll call Simon right now.” 

While Blair was on the phone, Sam said, “Jim we need to get him into ER for a check-up. We have to.”

“He’s going to be hysterical.” Jim looked so sad. 

“Well you have to stay strong. We can fall apart when we get home.” Sam went and got Jade ready to go. 

“Daddy, can we take a shower?” Drake asked as he took Jim’s hand. 

“No, we’ll take one when we get home.” Jim said. 

“Where we going, Daddy?”

“We have to see a doctor. Then we’ll come home and play games all afternoon. How does that sound?” Jim asked with a smile. 

“Yay. I love having you and Poppy home.” Drake ran to change his clothing. Jim picked all of his other things up and put them in a bag. Jim saw the little boxers that Drake insisted on wearing just like them. He lifted them up and there was blood. // I’m going to kill that fucker. //

Jim got it all in a bag and set it aside for Rafe and Brown. 

“Jim, I have to wait here. I’ll give these things to the guys and fill out the paperwork. Jade can stay with me. You take care of our son.” Blair cried softly into Jim’s shoulder. 

“It’ll be all right, Blair. Take care of Jade and Sam. I’ll be back.” Jim started for the SUV and Sam joined him. “I need to go, Jim.”

It went as they had expected at the ER. Drake was screaming his little lungs out. They had to put things up his little bottom to tests for thing and see if there was anything else. The doctor said to his assistant, “Take a look at this.”

Jim left Drakes side for the first time and went down to see what they were looking at. “What?”

“Mr. Ellison, it’s probably better that you don’t see this.”

“What?” Jim yelled. 

Four people held Drake down and the doctor pulled out some large tongue depressors. They were covered with blood and mucus. Then the doctor had to start checking to see if there was anything else in there. “We’re almost done, little guy. You’re very brave.” The doctor had to use something to open his anus up wider and Jim was getting more upset by the moment. 

“Do you have to do that to him?” Jim pleaded. 

“Yes, we have to get him cleaned out and make sure there isn’t anything else in there.” The doctor tried to help Jim remain calm. 

The nurse walked up to Jim and said, “He’s going to need you in a moment. Why don’t you go back up there.”

Drake let out a scream that would make you never want to sleep again. Or at least for a damn long time. He leaned down and he said, “Who loves you more than life itself?”

“You do, Daddy.” Drake said sobbing. 

“That’s right. I love you so much and my life has been wonderful since you came into it. This isn’t your fault, Drake. It’s the schools fault. We’ll take care of that, but you never have to go back there.”

Drake put his thumb up to his face and acted like he wanted to suck it. “Drake tell me how much you love me.”

“I love you more than pizza. I love you more than watching tv. I love you more than my video game. And don’t tell Poppy, but sometimes I love you even more than him.” Drake smiled for the first time. Jim looked and saw the doctors were done with the things that had hurt him. 

“I won’t tell Poppy, ever. And I love you more than anything too.” Jim leaned in and kissed him. Jim was crying and tears were dripping on Drake. “Daddy, don’t cry. We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, we will won’t we?” Jim kissed him again. 

Sam came over and said, “Can I get in on some of this loving?”

“I Love you too, Auntie Sam.”

“Oh precious, I love you back.” Sam kissed his cheeks and petted his head while Jim walked down to see how it was going. 

“What’s the verdict?” Jim asked. 

“Mr. Ellison, why don’t you get your little boy dressed and then you and I will talk?” The doctor said. 

Jim dressed Drake and they waited out in the waiting room until Dr. Prince called for Jim. 

Jim walked into his office and he said, “Sit down. I’ve already made a copy up for the police records. You won’t have to come back down here.”

“Thank you. Now why are you looking like it’s bad news?”

“Mr. Ellison, He was torn in many places, so we had to stitch him up. He had five tears. Those men had put four items up your little boys anus. For what we’ll never know. The healing process will be horrible. It’s very uncomfortable. He’s not going to want to have a bowel movement because of the pain. There is a lot of bruising in there also. This is going to take a long time. He needs to be with someone that he can trust for the next month. We found no sign of penile entry, so he’s safe that way. All in all, he’s doing pretty well. But it’s going to take time to recover. He needs to see a therapist right away. And I’m hoping that either you or your SO could take the month off.” Dr. Prince was waiting for the bombshell. 

“I’ll be taking the month off. I’ll get him in therapy. And we’ll get his little life back in order. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Mr. Ellison.”

“His favorite thing to do in the mornings is to shower with me. Is this a bad thing? And should I stop that?”

“Well Doctors say different things. I for one, think it’s fine. Until a child is about 7 they don’t really notice another body. You do what you feel good about doing. If Drake is happy doing that, then keep him happy.”

“Thanks, Dr. Prince.” Jim stood up to leave. 

“Jim, don’t go after this man. Drake will be the one to suffer.” Dr. Prince held his hand out and Jim shook it. 

“I want to really bad.” Jim said with big tears in his eyes. 

“But don’t. I know you’re a cop. I know you know how to do it. Please think about that little boy.”

“Thank you. I will.” Jim walked out of the office and shut the door. 

Dr. Prince sat down and called Major Crimes and asked for Captain Banks.

“Banks.”

“Captain Banks this is Doctor Prince at the ER. We just treated a little boy named Drake Ellison. Do you know him?”

“Well of course I know him. He’s the son of two of my men.” Simon didn’t like the sound of this. 

“Well the reason I’m calling is I was hoping there was someone there that is perhaps a friend of Jim Ellison.”

“Doctor, what are you getting at?”

“I think he’s going to kill that man that hurt his son. And he’s willing to give up his life for Drake.”

“He’s my best friend. I’ll watch him overtime.” Simon said shortly. 

“Captain, you think I’m just interfering?”

“It’s really none of your business.” Simon snapped. 

“Well it’s my business because I just dug four different things out of that little boy’s anus. Who will be there for him when his Daddy is gone?”

“What are you talking about? Fill me in on what you took out.” Simon was no longer snapping. 

When the doctor had finished, Simon had tears in his eyes and swore he would watch Jim like a hawk.

Simon got up and went out to the bullpen and said, “Connor, Taggert, Brown and Rafe, could you come in my office please?”

They all went in and sat down. Simon filled them in on the ER trip and what the doctor found. Connor started crying as soon as Simon described what was done to the little boy. Then he told them about the doctor thinking Jim was going to go after the bad guys and kill them.

“I wouldn’t blame him sir.” Rafe said coldly. 

“None of us would. But Drake would no longer have his Daddy if this happens.” Simon stated simply. 

“I’ll take a day of watching.” Brown said. “My day off is Tuesday right now.”

“Okay, everyone sign up for a day. Remember he’s going to know you’re behind him. We don’t care. Make him go back home.” Simon said rising from his chair. 

\--------------------------------------------------  
Sam and Jim took Drake home and Sam was a little worried about Jim. He hadn’t said a word since he got out of the doctors office. 

Jim helped Drake get out of the back seat and then took his hand.

“Are we going to take a nap, Daddy?”

“Yeah, that sounds darn good.” Jim opened the front door and called out, “Honey, we’re home.”

Blair smiled at him and said, “Hey little guy. You okay?”

“Yup, but I need a nap. Gonna sleep in my own room. Night.” Drake walked off and Jim looked at him oddly. 

“Hang on, Chief.”

“Hey Daddy, you sleeping with me?” Drake asked. 

“I thought I would in a few minutes. Is that all right with you?”

“I love when you sleep with me. You always make me feel safe.”

Jim curled around Drake and said, “I’m never going to let anything happen to you again.”

“Well good, cuz I hate all that crying.” Drake said as he yawned and started to fall asleep. 

Jim walked out to the living room and asked, “Where is Jade?”

“Sully came and took her about 20 minutes ago.” Blair answered. “Now tell me what they did and what happened.”

So Jim told him about the entire thing, what procedures were used and what the outcome was. Then he explained everything that the doctor said. When he was done he looked up and saw Blair crying silently. 

“Jim, I have to go and sleep with him.” Blair got up and went into Drake’s bedroom. 

“So Jim, how are you?” Sam asked. 

“I’m fine. I want to go and get my little girl and then we’ll be together again.” Jim stood up to get his keys. 

“Jim, let Jade stay with Sully tonight. What could it hurt?”

“What if Drake thinks it’s because of him? What if he wants his sister here?” 

“I’ll go pick her up for you.” Sam stood to leave. 

“No. Wait. You’re right. We’ll leave her for tonight. I’m not thinking clearly. I’m so tired.” Jim yawned and Sam said, “Go to bed. I’ll be here.”

“Thank you, Sam. You’re an angel.” Jim walked down the hallway, took his clothes off and slipped into bed. He fell right to sleep, which surprised everyone. 

Jim did indeed take off the next month. So he went to   
therapy every week with Drake. Drake started at the new school that Connor checked into. It turned out to be a top notch one. Blair was working full time and Jim missed being with him. But he knew that Drake needed him home right now. Things would get better. 

Jim thought it was pretty cute how everyone from work was keeping an eye on him. They had good friends. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In that next three weeks, Rafe and Brown caught the two men wanted for the sexual abuse of Drake. While in their custody, the principal got a hold of Browns gun. So Rafe shot him. Then the assistant grabbed the gun and Rafe shot him too. By the end of the day, Simon was really pissed off. 

“Rafe, couldn’t you have shot him lower?” Simon asked.

“Sorry, sir.” Rafe still had not looked at Simon’s face. 

“Brown, you witnessed the entire thing?”

“Yes sir.” Brown didn’t look at Simon’s eyes either.

“Finish the paperwork and come to my office.” Simon stormed off.

Rafe looked at Brown and said, “You’re not going down for it. You tell him I did it and leave it at that.”

“We both did it. And it was self-defense.” Brown made him hurry and finish the paperwork so they could go and talk with Simon.

“It wasn’t and you know it.” Rafe looked over at Brown sadly. “I could have gotten it away from him.”

“It’s for Jim and Blair.” Brown said. “Plus, he did have my gun.”

“Yes, he did.” Rafe said quietly.

When the two men walked into Simon’s office, they still had their eyes glued to the floor.

“Sit down, gentlemen.” Simon was mad, they could tell.

“Yes sir?” Rafe asked as he sat.

“I need to know if I have to call IA into this. I want the truth.” Simon said seriously.

“Sir, he took Browns gun. I took over the situation and shot the first one and then the second one when he attempted and picked up the gun. I might have shot to kill on purpose, I don’t know.” Rafe said.

“And Brown, you’re not going to add anything to that?”

“He did grab my gun, sir. And it was a clean shoot.” Brown said with sad eyes.

“Rafe, I need to call IA into this. You stick to your story and you’ll be all right.” Simon ordered.

“Thank you sir.” Rafe stood up.

“No, thank you.” Simon shook his hand but never looked Rafe in the eyes. Both men knew what Rafe had done was wrong. But maybe it was right for Ellison and Sandburg. 

“Go and tell Ellison and Sandburg. They’ll be glad to hear that Drake won’t have to go through a court nightmare.” Simon walked the men to the elevator. “Come back when your done to see IA.”

“Yes sir.” Both men got on the elevator and went down to the garage.

The drive over to Ellison’s was quiet. Brown didn’t know what to say to Rafe. Rafe didn’t know what to say to Brown. When they drove up, Brown said, “You still love me, right?”

“More than ever, Henry. Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” Rafe kissed him and they got out of the car.

Rafe rang the doorbell and Jim let the two somber men into their home. “Sit down guys. Can I get you a beer, some type of soft drink, something?”

“I’ll take a coke, Jim, thanks.” Brown smiled at him.

“Just water for me.” Rafe said quickly. 

Jim got them each their drink and then Jim sat down in the living room with his friends.

Drake came running into the room and said, “Poppy wants to know why you’re not looking. Hey Uncle Henry, hey Uncle Bri.”

“Hi Drake. Can we have a hug?” Rafe took him in his arms and just held him. “Have I mentioned lately that I love you?”

“Yup. I love you too.” Drake giggled as he moved on to Brown.

“Hey Drake. I love you too.” Then Brown kissed the little boy on his forehead making Jim worry all the more.

“Drake, I need to talk to your Uncle’s alone. Go back and play with Jade and Poppy. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Drake went running down the hallway laughing the whole way.

“It’s hard to believe that he’s gotten so much better, isn’t it?” Jim sounded very angry and upset. Rafe and Henry saw the tears threatening to fall.

“Jim, we caught the guys.” Brown started. 

“Oh god. Thank god. Thank you both.” Jim hugged them both as he tried to keep from crying.

“You might want to hold off on the hug.” Rafe said. 

Blair came walking out and said, “They’re taking a nap. What’s up?”

“Rafe and Brown caught the guys.” Jim said quietly. 

“Thank you.” Blair said in a hushed tone too.

“But then Rafe said we might not want to thank him, so we’re going to find out what’s going on.” Jim sat back and waited for the news. 

“They’re dead.” Rafe said simply.

“What?” Jim was totally shocked.

“I killed them.” Rafe added.

“Rafe, I know you didn’t just kill them.” Jim said listening to Rafes heartbeat. 

“Yeah, I did.” Rafe didn’t add much more.

Blair stood up and said, “Rafe, don’t tell us this.”

“Rafe I know you better than that.” Jim yelled. 

“Ask Brown. He was there. I did it.” Rafe said calmly.

“Brown, tell us what happened.” Blair asked. 

So Brown told them the entire thing and then sat down when he was done.

“That’s a clean shoot than, Rafe.” Jim smiled over at his friend to assure him everything was all right.

“Not exactly Jim.” Rafe said. 

“We’ll be right back.” Jim said dragging Rafe into the bathroom. “What the fuck are you saying?”

“I could have taken the gun away from him, but all I could see was little Drake. And I just shot him. The second guy panicked because he knew I was going to kill him. Then I shot him.” Rafe said sadly. “I think I’m going to turn myself in today.”

Jim pulled Rafe into his arms and said, “No, you’re not. I love you for doing this. Jesus, I was worried if it would ever come to court. I wanted them dead and I would have fucking killed them, Rafe. Honest to god. I would have killed them. They wouldn’t have had to have a gun.”

Rafe just held Jim as he sobbed. “It’s going to be all right, Jim.”

“Promise me you’ll say what Brown tells you to say.” Jim begged. 

“All right. I’m not proud of myself though.” Rafe opened the door and they walked out. 

“Could you send Brown in here?” Jim asked. 

“Brown, Jim wants to talk to you.” Rafe smiled at Jim, as Jim said, “Well hell I could have done that.” 

Brown walked in and Jim shut the door, and Henry found himself in Ellison arms big time. “Thank you Henry. Thank you for keeping my son safe. I love you both so much. Now we have to be sure that Rafe doesn’t give himself in. He’s thinking about it.”

“Jim, it was a clean shoot.” H said. 

“Well you keep telling him that. He promised me he wouldn’t turn himself in.”

“Okay. Now can we get out of the bathroom?” Brown laughed.

“Unless you need to use it.” Jim said teasing him. 

“We have to get to work, H.” Rafe called out as he headed to the door.

“Rafe, did you think before you shot?” Jim asked.

“No.”

“Then you weren’t thinking. You thought about it later on. That’s what’s making you so guilty. Thank you again for giving peace of mind to me and Blair.” Jim hugged both men as they got ready to leave. 

Blair walked them out to their car and hugged them and said goodbye. When he walked in he smiled at Jim and said, “Know what I want?”

“Babe, I’m not ready to do it with the kids here right now.” Jim hoped that Blair would understand. 

“What I really want is a big hot fudge sundae, made by my lover.” Blair kissed Jim and sat down.

Jim opened the freezer to find no ice cream. “Chief, I have to go get some ice cream.”

“Make sure we have hot fudge and caramel sauce before you leave.” Blair loved to boss his man. 

When Jim got home the kids were up and he made all of them a sundae. “Daddy this is yummy.”

“Thank you, I worked all day making that sauce.” Jim laughed.

“Well it turned out good, huh Drake?”

“Yup. I love it too, Daddy.” Drake hugged him fast. 

And this is how life was for a long while. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Four months after the shooting, the phone rang, ring picked it up and said, “Ellison.”

“Mr. Ellison? This is Ms. Tyler at Drake’s school. There has been an accident and I wanted to talk to you before you get here.”

Jim threw the telephone at Connor and took off running. Blair was on a call with Joel. // fuck… //

Jim drove as safely as he could to get there and walked in panicked. Ms. Tyler met him and said, “Let’s go into my office, Mr. Ellison.”

Jim was visibly shaking as he entered her office and sat down. 

“First of all, Drake is just fine. He’s a darling boy. He broke something in class. It was an accident and he got very upset about it. He acted as if we were going to punish him severely. We don’t do that here. He’s calmed down some since then. But we wanted you to be aware.” Ms. Tyler said.

“Ms. Tyler, I was so scared.” Jim put his face in his hands.

“I could tell. You need to calm down too. You’re upsetting Drake. I think you should leave and come back when school gets out.” Ms. Tyler was trying to help him. 

“He rides the bus home, and I think I’ll let him. Thank you so much for understanding.” Jim said shaking her hand and then walked out of the office. He listened to Drakes voice, heard that he was just fine and walked to his truck. 

When he got back to the bullpen, he sat at his desk and started back on the paperwork. Connor walked over and said, “Everything’s all right?”

“Everything’s fine, Connor. I need to get used to things being fine.”

“You will Jim. You will.” 

“We going to have a Sullivan’s Pub this week?” Jim asked hopefully.

“We were thinking of it, but didn’t know if you and Blair were ready to leave the kids.” Connor smiled at her mate.

“Count us in. He needs to get out too.” Jim smiled as he started back on his paperwork. He called Linda to make sure she could sit for them and was very happy when he got off the phone.

“Who the hell are you? What have you done to that grumpy partner of mine?” Blair asked laughing.

“We’re going out tomorrow night and I just feel good about it.” Jim wanted to get up and kiss him so bad.

“Jim, could I talk to you for a moment?” Blair walked into the break room and Jim followed. 

Once inside Blair shut the door and pulled Jim into his arms and kissed him. “I know we’re supposed to keep it away from work, but you looked so damned sweet and happy. I couldn’t resist.” Blair kissed him again. 

“I was just thinking about kissing you too. So you’re okay with going tomorrow night to Sullivan’s Pub?” Jim asked. 

“Of course I’m okay with it. We need to laugh. It’ll be good for us.” Blair opened up the door and Simon was standing there.

Jim blushed and Simon whispered, “Get a room.”

“Right now, sir?” Jim asked.

“Right now. Before the kids come home.” Simon walked away from them. 

“Loft?” Blair asked.

“Damn right.” Jim and Blair shut down their computers and hurried as fast as they could. 

“Hot damn, someone must be getting sex.” Rafe called out. 

Jim blushed again, and Blair replied, “Damned straight.”

Brown reminded him, “Not anymore, Sandburg.”

“Oh yeah.” Jim and Blair laughed all the way down the stairs. 

They knew they didn’t have to be home for about three hours. They were going to put that time to good use. 

Thank god for Nannies. Thank god for school buses. And thank god for bosses who let them off early to have sex for the first time in months. 

Jim was going to remind Blair who he belonged to. And Blair had every intention of doing the same with Jim. 

Life was fucking good. 

Or was it just good fucking?

End Sullivan’s Pub 21


	22. Sullivan's Pub Part 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 50 rules for men to live with women successfully... Back to Sullivan’s Pub for some laughing and happiness. I think they all need it.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 22  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/17/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: This one is actually fun. Read it and see. 

Summary: 50 rules for men to live with women successfully... Back to Sullivan’s Pub for some laughing and happiness. I think they all need it. 

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub 22  
Patt

Connor was very excited about this evening’s talk. She had some kick ass things to list off. In fact, there were 50. With any luck, they could all be here half the night. 

“You excited, Meggie?” Joel kissed his sweet wife. He found himself still trying to make up for the fact that he almost screwed his marriage up.

“Very excited. Where is everyone?” 

The door opened and everyone walked in. Connor smiled and went to greet them. 

“Did someone miss us?” Jim asked hugging her hard. 

“Yes I did.”

“Is this going to be a fun night, Connor?” Rafe asked, being skeptical as always. 

“You’re going to love it.” Connor answered. “Let’s all sit down and we’ll get started.”

Everyone was there. Connor was in heaven. This was going to be a perfect night. 

“Tonight, we going to hear rules for men to live with women successfully. What I want you to do is say if you agree. Disagree, or anything else you want to add.”

“Wait a minute, this one won’t be for us then.” Sam pouted. 

“You can answer for me half the time, Sam.” Dan laughed at the horrified look she sent his way. 

“Believe me, it’ll be fun for all of us.” Connor said. “Ready?”

“Ready” Everyone chanted.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

50 rules for men to live with women successfully...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Rule number 1. Call

Simon: Oh yeah, this is true. If I call Sully, she’s never as mad.

Jim: This is true. If I call Blair, he’s not as mad. 

Blair: Wait a minute. I’m the fucking woman?

Rafe: Well someone has to be.

Brown: Rafe’s mine.

Rafe: Shut up Henry.

Connor: Back on track guys.

Dan: Yeah, if I don’t call Sam, I don’t get to come home.

Sam: You big liar. 

Dan: But it sounded really good, babe.

Sam: Okay.

Rafe: I always call H and let him know where I am, but he does the same thing. So neither of us are the woman.

Simon: Both of you are the woman.

Sam: Oh god, I can’t help it. Simon, you’re a riot. 

Sully: He is a riot. Sometimes he starts a stampede and everything. 

Simon: Very funny.

Jim: Getting back on track, I do call Blair but he always calls me too. So neither of us are women. 

Simon: Jim did you take a stupid pill today? You’re both women.

Jim: Because we’re gay? Fuck you, Simon.

Simon: Connor, this might be a good place to move on.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Rule Number 2. Don't lie. 

 

Jim: This is a fucking good rule. Every time I’ve tried to lie, Blair caught me.

Blair: That’s true. So this is a great rule. 

Simon: A lie now and then, isn’t going to hurt anyone.

Sully: Excuse me????

Simon: I’m just saying in general. Not us. 

Dan: Well lying is wrong and I don’t do it.

Sam: Oh come here baby and let me kiss those lying lips. 

Sully: (Laughing) I think we all lie now and then. But it means don’t lie about major things.

Joel: I did lie and I almost hurt Meggie beyond repair. I’m sorry again, baby. 

Jim: You are the sweetest couple.

Blair: I totally agree. 

Rafe: Well I don’t lie to Henry. He knows me too well.

Brown: That’s true. 

Jim: Wait, do you lie to him?

Blair: I don’t think that’s part of the survey, Jim. 

Rafe: Henry, just answer. 

Brown: Fine. I have a few times. 

Rafe: When?

Brown: Does it matter?

Rafe: It might matter a great deal.

Brown: We’ll talk about it later.

Jim: Oh I see this getting good. (Laughing)

Simon: Your just happy that it’s not you. (Laughing)

Joel: We’re all happy it’s not us.

Blair: I tell Jim things to make him happy sometimes. They are lies, but do we have to count them. 

Jim: Wait a minute. When do you do this?

Rafe: It’s not as funny when it’s you, is it?

Jim: No. (sulking)

Blair: We’ll talk about it later on. 

Simon: Time to move on, Connor.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 3. Never tape any of her body parts together. 

Simon: What? I don’t even get this one.

Sully: I don’t either.

Jim: Sandburg’s too hairy to even think about using tape anywhere. 

Blair: Shut up, Jim. 

Jim: Well you are. They’ve all see your furry body. 

Simon: Shut up, Ellison. 

Jim: Fine. 

Dan: I wish this survey came with directions and I could suggest taping something. 

Sam: (Laughing) Very funny. 

Joel: I would never tape anything of Meggie’s. 

Connor: I’m glad Joel. Otherwise I would have to shoot you. 

Rafe: I think this ones stupid.

Brown: Me too. 

Simon: Good, time to move on, Connor. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.

 

Jim: I agree with this one.

Blair: Me too.

Joel: Me too.

Simon: Same here.

Dan: Me too.

Brown: Great idea. 

Rafe: Agreed. All of us agree. 

Sully: My god, they all agreed. Connor, do you have this written down somewhere?

Sam: Because we need to make a record of it. 

Simon: Next??????

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.

 

Jim: This is a given. 

Blair: It better be.

Rafe: Who would want to touch those scanky broads anyhow?

Brown: That’s not the point, Bri. 

Rafe: What’s the point, H?

Brown: The point is, you shouldn’t ever want to touch anyone else.

Rafe: For the rest of my life?

Brown stood up and walked away from the table. He then headed into the restroom. 

Jim: You better go fix that, Rafe.

Rafe: Mind your own damn business, Ellison. 

Jim jumped up and pulled Rafe to his feet and drug him away from the table. “Get your ass in there and fix this.”

“Fuck you Ellison.”

Jim pushed him into the bathroom and slammed him against the wall. “You want me to hurt you, Rafe?”

“Go ahead.” Rafe screamed back at him. 

Jim leaned his forehead against Rafe and said, “I don’t want to hurt you. I love you.”

“Jim, I need help.” Rafe said quietly into his shoulder. 

“I’ve got someone for you to see. I’ll give you her name later.” Jim offered. 

Jim leaned into Rafe’s ear and said, “Go to him, he’s scared to death.”

“I can take it from here.” Rafe move into Browns arms and they kissed and whispered things to each other. 

Jim went back out to the table and everyone looked at him oddly. “What?”

“Where is Rafe and Brown?” Connor asked. 

“OH they said they want to make out for awhile and we should start without them.” Jim smiled at them finding out he said that.

“Connor, let’s go to the next one.” Simon asked, but it was in a somewhat ordering tone. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."

Jim: Duh.

Blair: If you thought I was gaining weight, you wouldn’t say anything?

Jim: No, because I’m with you, not the package.

Blair: That’s not what you said last night. 

Simon: I knew it was going too well. Shut up, Sandburg. 

Dan: I would never say someone was fat. Anyone.

Sully: It’s because you’re a sensitive person Dan. Sam is very lucky. 

Sam: Yes, I am. 

Simon: Wait a moment. I would never tell you that you looked fat.

Sully: You made a remark the other night.

Simon: I did not.

Sully: You said, “Wow, looks like you won’t be able to wear that much longer.”

Simon: Well it was tight.

Sully: Back to you Dan. 

Dan: I’m staying out of this. But Simon kissing might be good right now.

Simon pulled Sully into his arms and kissed her. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh you are so totally forgiven.” Sully laughed. 

Joel: I would never say anything bad to Megan. 

Connor: He wouldn’t. Even if it was true. 

Joel: Megan, I feel like Jim about this. It’s not the package, it’s the person.

Connor: I agree with you honeybear.

Jim got tears in his eyes because it had been a while since she called him Honeybear. Connor saw Jim being mushy and decided to move it right along. Rafe and Brown joined them at the table.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rule number 7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"

Jim: We’re safe on that one.

Blair: You dunce, it switches to is he prettier than me for us guys.

Jim: No one is prettier than you, Chief.

Dan: That was so nice Jim. 

Simon: So Jim, you never ever glance at anyone else?

Jim: (glaring) No.

Simon: And Sandburg?

Blair: Well I’m not dead. I can look. But I know that Jim’s better than they are, so why bother.

Jim just stared at Blair with his mouth hanging open.

Blair: Jim, don’t get all butt hurt. I adore you. 

Sully: So Simon, what would you say?

Simon: About Ellison and Sandburg?

Sully: Very funny, Si. If I asked you if someone was prettier than I was, would you tell me the truth?

Simon: Sully, I think you’re the most beautiful person in the world, so I would tell the truth.

Sully: Big boy, you are getting so lucky when we get home.

Joel: I think Megan is just gorgeous, so this wouldn’t be hard for me to do.

Joel: That’s my honeybear.

Brown: What do you think about this Bri?

Rafe: This what? 

Brown: If I asked you if I was as good looking as Ellison, what would you say. 

Rafe: No contest. He’s a dog. (laughing)

Brown leaned in for a long kiss and everyone laughed. Well, except for Jim. He was still in shock over Blair looking at other men. 

Dan: Well I know who is the prettiest in this room. (Looks over at Sam.)

Sam: You’re the sweetest man. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.

Jim: What does this one mean?

Blair: I have no idea.

Dan: I’m lost.

Simon: Me too.

Joel: Haven’t a clue here either.

Rafe: One is classier than the other. 

Brown: How do you know that?

Rafe: I took a class.

Everyone burst out laughing. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.

Jim: Duh.

Blair: Double duh. This goes for all of us, don’t you think?

Dan: I think so.

Joel: I agree.

Rafe: I don’t like anyone ordering for me.

Brown: (sighing) Sometimes he just doesn’t get these.

Simon: Sometimes I don’t get any of them. 

Jim: Do you understand this one, Simon?

Simon: Yes. 

Blair: Then that’s all that’s important. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.

Jim: (spitting his beer all over the front of Blair.) Sorry Chief. It’s Connor’s fault. Blame her.

Blair: (mopping up his shirt) Good one, Connor. And this is so true. 

Rafe: So true. 

Brown: Agreed. 

Joel: Agreed.

Simon: Totally agreeing. 

Jim: We all agreed. Whoa. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 11. "Honey," "Darling," and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag," "Lardass," and "Bitch" are bad. 

 

Blair: (spitting his beer on Jim this time and choking at the same time.) Geeze Connor, warn a person.

Jim: I would never call Blair one of these things.

Blair: Good, cuz I’d have to kick your lardass. (Laughing)

Jim: You think this is funny?

Blair: Yeah, see all of the people at the table laughing. That’s called fun. 

Dan: It was funny Jim. And he was only teasing. I would never call Sam anything like this. 

Sam: Good. I love you too. 

Simon: I would never call Sully anything either. 

Sully: Thank you Simon.

Brown: I would never call Bri any of those names even in jest.

Rafe: Thank you, H. I wouldn’t call you names either.

Joel: Megan, you know I would never call you those names. 

Connor: I know that honey bear. I love you too. (Leans in for a kiss.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.

Blair: I would never slap Jim. I adore him. (Using puppy dog eyes.)

Jim: I would never slap you either. 

Dan: This is funny though. I just wrote it down. Sam, you’re safe. I don’t hit.

Sam: Good.

Simon: I would never hit you Sully. Never. Ever. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. (pulls her in for a kiss.)

Sully: Wow, whatever you’re drinking, I like it. Thank you.

Joel: Meg knows that I would never hit her.

Connor: I do. I love you too baby. 

Henry: Bri, I would never hurt you.

Rafe: Good. I wouldn’t hurt you either.

Blair: Jim do you love me?

Jim: What?

Blair: Are you mad? 

Jim: Chief, I love you. We’ll talk about everything else when you’re not drinking.

Blair: Oh geeze, he is mad. (Puts his head down on the table.)

Jim pulled him closer and whispered, “Baby, I love you more than you’ll ever know. Now let’s have fun and go home and make love.”

“You mean it?” Blair asked bouncing. 

“I mean it.” Jim kissed him. 

Blair: He does love me. And he’s going to fuck me later.

Simon: Sandburg, I’m sure that wasn’t supposed to be common knowledge. 

Blair: You didn’t know he was fucking me?

Simon: Yes, Sandburg we knew that.

Jim: Why don’t we move this thing along. 

Simon: Damn it, now Jim took my job. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.

Blair: Jim grunts.

Jim: Yeah I do sometimes. I’ll work on it, Chief. 

Blair: k. But I like when you grunt in bed. 

Simon: Don’t even start it, Sandburg.

Blair: Like I would ask him to do it here.

Simon: I give up.

Dan: I’ve been known to grunt at work, does that count?

Sam: Better stop doing it, babe.

Simon: I grunt all the time. People know it’s how I am.

Sully: Simon, the baby’s not going to know that when he comes. So you better stop doing it.

Simon: He? We’re having a boy?

Sully: I have no idea. Remember, I’m the one that doesn’t want to know. Are you saying if it was a little girl, you couldn’t love her?

Simon: You’re joking right? Look at Ellie and Jade. They have me wrapped around their little fingers already. 

Sully: That’s true.

Connor: I grunt sometimes. I’ll stop doing it. 

Joel: (Laughing) Only you, would tell on yourself. 

Henry: I never grunt. 

Rafe: Same here.

Brown: Hah.

Rafe: I take it I grunt?

Brown: When you have your mind on things. And we’re going to have a family soon, so you need to loosen up. 

Connor: How soon?

Brown: Maybe a few weeks. 

Rafe: I thought we weren’t going to tell anyone until the big day?

Brown: I’m excited, Bri.

Rafe: (Kisses Brown.) I know. I am too. 

Jim: Well Congratulations from all of us. Keep us posted.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed. 

Joel: I could not agree more. 

Simon: Here, here.

Jim: Exactly. 

Brown: I agree too.

Rafe: Looks like one we’re going to agree with. I do too.

Dan: I’m right up there with you guys. 

Blair: When you were married to Carolyn, did you like fucking her more than me?

Simon: Oh let’s head this off at the pass and move on. 

Blair: I want Jim to tell me.

Jim: Chief, I don’t want to talk about my past sex life. So lets leave it at that.

Blair: So she made you feel much better than I do?

Jim: No, Chief, she didn’t. 

Blair: Did she ever tongue…

Jim: (Kissing Blair.) Now, we’re not going to talk about this anymore tonight.

Blair: Well was I better in bed?

Jim: Chief, knock it off.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 15. Her cooking is excellent. 

Blair: Now would this be true, or just trying to make me feel better?

Jim: This would be most true. 

Blair: Thank you. And Jim can cook really well too.

Dan: I love the way Sam cooks. And she keeps my kitchen clean too.

Sam: Your kitchen?

Dan: Sorry, not used to saying our’s yet. 

Simon: Sully are you going to stop talking to me if I say I prefer Sam’s cooking?

Everyone starts to laugh. 

Sully: Hell I prefer Sam’s cooking. 

Rafe: H is trying to learn to cook more. He’s doing well. 

Brown: Bri cooks well all the time. 

Joel: Connor’s cooking is fantastic. 

Connor: Thank you, honeybear. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking. 

 

Jim: I don’t get this one.

Blair: That’s all right baby. You’ll get one later.

Everyone starts to laugh.

Joel: I don’t get it either.

Rafe and Brown: We don’t get it.

Simon: Do you think it means, just because we love their cooking, doesn’t mean we stop cooking ourselves?

Dan: Ohhhhhhhh.

Jim: Ohhhhhhhh.

Joel: Ohhhhhhh.

Blair: Ohhhhhh.

Rafe and Brown: Ohhhhhhhh.

Sully: It’s so cute when they figure one out for themselves. 

Connor: Don’t let them hear they’re cute. 

Sam: Jim’s there. We can’t say anything he won’t hear.

Connor: Too bad he can’t cook as well as he can hear. (whispered.)

Jim: I heard that Connor. 

Connor: Told you.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 17. Dish soap is your friend. 

Jim: Hey, I always do dishes.

Blair: I usually do him while he’s doing that.

Jim: Chief, stop it. 

Joel: Well that gives a whole knew meaning to doing dishes together. (giggling)

Dan: I might try that tonight.

Blair: I don’t want you doing that to Jim. 

Dan: Sandburg, I mean with Sam.

Blair: Oh by all means, do her. 

Simon: I help with dishes sometimes, but I’ll try to help more, Sully. 

Sully: I like the way Jim and Blair do dishes. I want to do it that way?

Simon: Oh god, it’s going downhill fast, Connor. 

Rafe: I don’t know, I think it sounds sexy. I’m going to do that with Henry next time we do dishes. 

Brown: Jesus, I could dirty some up when we get home.

Simon: You’re all sluts.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Rule number 18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.

Jim: Believe me, none of us do this one. I could tell.

Simon: Oh good, let’s move on then, Connor.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.

Joel: Let’s let the women answer this one.

Connor: Joel has never wanted to skip the foreplay. He excels in foreplay. 

Sam: So does Dan. 

Sully: So does Simon.

Blair: So does Jim. He gives the best foreplay you could ever, ever ask for. 

Jim: (Smiling) Chief, this one is supposed to be for the girls.

Blair: Well fuck, I wanted to talk about your foreplay.

Sam: Okay, so talk.

Blair: Really?

Simon: NO, not really. It’s time for the next question.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.

 

Simon: All right, I need this one explained to me.

Sully: Honey, if you come into the room and I say, Who was that? And you say, Nobody, that means it might have been somebody. So at least tell me it was a carpet cleaner or whoever. Otherwise women think its another woman. 

Simon: You’re kidding? You girls put way too much thought into this stuff.

Joel: Well I’ll try and be more thoughtful Meg. 

Connor: It might also mean that there is somebody at the end of that line. 

Joel: Never baby. Never. 

Connor: Never?

Joel: Never baby.

Rafe: This ones dumb. 

Jim: Just this one? (smiling)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"

Jim: How dumb would you have to be?

Blair: For what?

Jim: Never mind Chief. I’ll tell you later. 

Blair: Are you mad at me?

Simon: Here he goes again.

Jim: No, never mad at you, Chief. 

Blair: I’m sorry if I made you mad. 

Jim: Blair, I’m not mad. 

Simon: Who would actually ask that question about the lipstick? 

No one answered and Simon said, “Move it along, Connor.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 22. Two words: clean socks.

Jim: We’re supposed to want them, or wear them?

Blair: I don’t get it either.

Sully: When a guy sits down and has dirty ole socks on, it’s time to change them. 

Jim: IN that case, I always have clean ones. 

Blair: He does. I love your socks, Jim.

Jim: Thanks, Chief.

Joel: Mine are always clean too.

Connor: They are. 

Dan: I always wear clean as soon as I get home. 

Sam: He does.

Simon: So you want me to change my socks, Sully?

Sully: Wouldn’t hurt.

Simon: You got it. 

Rafe: Mine are changed when I get home. 

Brown: Your what?

Rafe: My socks.

Brown: Oh. Yes, he loves clean socks. Can I tell them that that’s all you wear? Just socks.

Simon: Oh for gods sake.

Rafe: Henry, what are you doing?

Brown: Sorry…

Simon: Connor good time to move on.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk. 

Blair: This is like so true, don’t you think?

Everyone burst out laughing. 

Blair: What? Jim, you hate when I’m drunk? Is that it? You wouldn’t want to fuck someone that looks like this?

Jim: Chief, come here. Sit on my lap and I want to tell you how much I love you and want you. (whispering, he did just that.)

Blair turned around on Jim’s lap and let him hold him. Blair soon fell asleep. 

Simon: Has anyone ever gotten drunk on purpose to get their mate to love them?

Jim: Blair’s not doing that, Simon. He’s been so tired and so tense lately. I wanted him to have a good time. I told him to go ahead and get drunk. Is he upsetting anyone?

Simon: No, I wasn’t talking about Sandburg at all. I was talking about Connor moving along. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 24. Burping is not sexy. 

Jim: This is true. Sandburg smacks me when I do it. 

Simon: So does Sully. Hmmmm

Dan: I hate to burp in front of Sam. 

Sam: I don’t mind. 

Dan: I know but it seems rude.

Joel: I hate to do it too.

Connor: Once a year, is not really burping. 

Rafe: In my home, I’ll do what I want. 

Brown: Even if it bothered me?

Rafe: It bothers you, H?

Brown: No, just asking.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Rule number 25. You're wrong. And rule number   
26\. You're sorry. 

Jim: I say this constantly.

Brown: But you’re a wuss puss, Ellison. 

Everyone stopped breathing for a moment and Jim smiled at them. 

“I’m all right. You can tease me. I loved being called a wuss puss right now.” Jim smiled. 

Rafe: In that case, Jim, I love you, but you’re a wuss puss.

Simon: Well I must be one too, because I’m always wrong and I’m always sorry. 

Dan: Tell me about it. (sighing)

Joel: Wuss Puss here, also. I have to say these things so much, sometimes I’m tired of them. 

Connor: I think that we’re all wuss pusses when it comes to our mates. Joel, I love you.

Joel: I love you too, Meggie. 

Rafe: I love you Henry.

Brown: I love you, Bri.

Dan: I love you, Sam. 

Sam: I love you, Dan.

Simon: I love you Sully.

Sully: I love you Simon.

Jim: I love you Chief, more than you’ll ever know. (Kissing his sleeping partner.)

Joel, Simon, Henry, Rafe, Dan, Sully, Connor and Sam: We love you Jim.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: WE’re going to skip some of these, because otherwise we’ll be here until tomorrow. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad. 

 

Simon: Hey, this isn’t a bad thing. Some people never get married.

Jim: I’d give anything to be able to get married to Blair.

Rafe: (teasing) But daddy he has a penis.

Jim: Very funny. I’m serious. I would love to marry this man. 

Simon: Sully would you like to get married?

Sully: Of course I would. When?

Simon: You pick the date and make the plans.

Sully: No, we do it together.

Simon: All right. I love you.

Sam: Damn, too bad we’re married. 

Dan: We could do it again, if you’d like to.

Sam: I would love that. Sully, is that good?

Sully: That would be great. 

Jim: Hey you know where I am if you need anything. 

Simon: Actually Jim, we’d like to have it at your house. You have that gorgeous back yard. What do you think girls?

Sam: Jim, would that be all right with you?

Jim: I would love it.

Sam and Sully: Could you give us away?

Jim: Me?

Sam: Yes, you. 

Jim: I would love to.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names. 

 

Jim: I hate holiday, but he loves them. So I remember them all. 

Rafe: I remember them too.

Brown: This will be our first Valentines day. 

Rafe: Man, I have to do that with you too? 

Brown: No.

Rafe: H, I was kidding.

Brown: Yeah?

Rafe: Oh yeah. We’re having a great valentines day this year.

Joel: I try to remember all of them.

Connor: You do, honeybear.

Dan: This will be our first Valentines too. 

Sam: We should all go out and have a party. 

Sully: What do you think, Simon?

Simon: Sounds good to me.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.

Simon: I love the way Sully looks all the time.

Jim: I love the way Blair looks all the time. 

Rafe: I love the way Henry looks all the time. 

Brown: Are me and Sandburg made into the woman again?

Rafe: Yes, but next time, we’ll be the woman.

Brown: Okay. 

Dan: I love how cute Sam is.

Joel: And Meggie always looks beautiful. 

Blair woke up and got up Jim’s lap and looked embarrassed. 

“Welcome back sleeping beauty.” Jim said teasingly. 

“I’m sorry Jim.” He whispered. 

“No need to be. I loved holding you for that little break.”

Sitting up straight, he pulled him self closer to the table to hide his hard-on. “What did I miss?”

“Simon asked Sully to marry him.” Jim smiled. 

“Congratulation, Simon and Sully. When’s the big day?” Blair asked. 

“We’re not sure of that part, yet.” Sully laughed at the sleepy Blair. 

“Chief, let’s go and get some water on your face. Come on.”

When they got into the restroom Jim began to kiss Blair and remind him of what they would do later. 

“Jim, could you fuck me now?” Blair pleaded. 

“Not here, Blair.” Jim watched the sad look come over Blair and he fell in love with him again. Jim went down on his knees and pulled Blair closer to him. He took his cock out and began to suck on it. 

“Jim, that feels so good. I’m going to come to fast. Slow down, baby.” Blair begged.

Jim did the opposite. He sucked harder and hummed to give him that little thrill. The next thing Jim knew Blair was coming down his throat with a yell. Jim looked up to see if anyone was coming in and realized that Simon was standing there. 

Jim tucked Blair back into his jeans and zipped him up. “I love you, Blair.”

“I love you too, man. You suck cock like no one can.” 

“Now stay right here. I’ll be right back.” Jim went into a stall to masturbate. He was so horny. Blair came under the stall door and said, “Hey, I want to be a part of this. Come on. Let me suck you.”

So Jim did. He knew that his boss was still in the room, but he didn’t care. “Chief, I love you so much. You make me feel like I’m the only person in the world for you. I love that about you.”

Blair was taking it slow and Jim was enjoying the hell out of it. Simon leaned against the door and found himself growing hard just listening to his men. 

Suddenly Blair picked up the speed of his suction and Jim came with a howl. Once Blair licked him all off he put him back inside his jeans and stood up. Kissing Jim, he whispered, “You’re my whole world, Jim. You mean everything to me.”

Simon heard all of this and realized how much those men were meant to be together. He smiled and walked out the door. 

When they came out Jim knew that Simon had left already. Now he had to go and face everyone else. 

“It’s about time, you guys. We’re almost done.” Connor laughed at Jim’s blush. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Rule number 47. Don't let your friends pick on her. 

Jim: This goes for everyone. I wouldn’t let anyone pick on any of you.

Simon: Why thank you, Jim. 

Blair: He’s so damn sweet isn’t he?

Dan: I wouldn’t let anyone pick on any of you either.

Blair: He’s so damn sweet. 

Joel: I feel the same way everyone.

Rafe: Same here.

Brown: I love you all. 

Sully: When did this turn out to be such a sweet night?

Sam: When our sweet men showed up.

All of the men: Thanks.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Connor: Rule number 49. Don't lie. 

 

Jim: This only gets you in trouble. 

Blair: Agreed. 

Joel: I know from experience. It’s best to talk things out and not lie. 

Rafe: I agree too. 

Brown: I agree three.

Dan: I agree four.

Simon: I agree five. What do you think of that girls? We all agree. 

Sully: I like this survey, Connor.

Connor: I thought it was a good one. 

Sam: I loved it.

 

Connor: Well that’s all for tonight. We’ll see you all next week. Be well and safe. 

Jim: Night everyone. See you tomorrow. 

Blair: Does anyone need a ride home?

Everyone: No!

Blair: I meant with Jim driving. 

Everyone: No, go home. 

Sully: Night everyone. 

Sam and Dan: Night everyone. 

Simon: See you all tomorrow.

Rafe and Brown: Night everyone. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub 22


	23. Sullivan's Pub Part 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious and Fun with Jim, Blair, the kids and Megan.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 23  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/19/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: This one is mostly fun. Read it and see. 

Summary: Serious and Fun with Jim, Blair, the kids and Megan. 

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub 23  
Patt

Jim and Blair were in bed and heard the front door open. A naked Jim jumped up and went running to see who opened it. 

“Jade, what are you doing, honey?” Jim asked frantically. 

“Well good morning to you too, Jimbo.” Connor laughed at the look on his face. 

“Give me the baby and you won’t get hurt.” Jim grabbed Ellie and took off for their bedroom. Connor could hear Blair’s laughter from where she stood. 

“Auntie Megan?”

“Yes, Jade.”

“Is Ellie going to get a penis?” Jade looked up at Connor with hope. 

“No honey. She’s not getting one either. Don’t you want to be a girl?”

“But Penises are cool.” 

“Well only boys get to have them.” Connor reminded her.

“Dangit.”

Connor could hear Jim in the bedroom making noises with Miss Ellie. Her laughter and cooing were bringing a large smile to Connor’s face. 

Blair came walking into the kitchen carrying Ellie. “Morning Connor. Miss Ellie is sure growing fast.”

“Hi Sandy, I’m sorry I woke you up on your day off.” Connor tried to apologize. 

They both saw Jade go running for the shower. 

“She tries to take a shower with Jim every single day.” Blair sounded tired. 

“Why can’t she?”

“Because she’s a girl, Connor.” Blair explained. 

As they talked about it, Jade walked into the shower with her Daddy and said, “I need to be clean too.”

Jim figured, why fight it? Just clean her up and she’ll be happy. He started soaping her up and lathering up her hair. “You smell wonderful, Jadey. You’re all nice and clean.”

“You smell good too, Daddy. You always smell nice.” Jade said sweetly. 

Jim said, “Let me get Poppy and he can dry you off.”

“No, I want you to dry me off. I’ll wait right here. I’ll sing to you.” Jade was waiting and Jim finally decided it wasn’t like she was looking at him, or touching him. 

“Okay, Jadey, I’ll hurry.”

“Singing in the bathtub.  
Singing without strain.  
Watching all the bubbles.   
Go down the drain.

Sitting in the bathtub.   
Feeling for the soap.   
Sitting in the bathtub.  
Feeling like a dope.”

Jim started laughing and picked her up and asked, “Where did you learn that song?”

“From my old Mommy. The one that died.”

As he dried her off he said, “We’re going to tape it later, so that you always remember something from your Mommy. Okay?” He was so moved by that little girl. 

“That would be nice, Daddy. Hey Drake. I got to shower with Daddy today.” 

Jim looked at a very upset boy, not getting his shower with his Daddy. “Hang on a minute, Drake and we’ll take one together.”

Jim made sure his towel was snug and carried Jade out to Blair. “Chief, can you get her dressed?”

“Sure. Come on my little jewel. Let’s get ready for a new day.” Blair helped her get dressed and sang to her the entire time. 

When he walked into the kitchen, Connor was starting breakfast for all of them. “Connor, thanks. I was starving.”

“No problem. I needed to talk to Jim, and figured I could at least feed you all.”

“Nothing’s wrong?” Blair was nervous. 

“Yeah, Sandy, there’s a lot wrong.” 

Blair took Ellie and put her in the high chair and got her something to munch on while they got her plate ready. 

Blair walked down the hallway and called Jim and Drake. Jim came into the kitchen and kissed Connor’s cheek. “I love Breakfast. Thank you.”

“Auntie Megan, breakfast is really good.” Drake said with a large smile. 

“I’m glad you like it honey. Even Ellie is eating some eggs. Do you see that?” Connor asked as she was feeding her darling. 

“Connor, I’m done eating so I can feed Princess Ellie.” Jim exchanged chairs. Connor got up and walked off. Jim looked at Blair and asked, “Did I do something?”

“She’s here to see you. Why don’t you go find her and then the two of you take off for awhile.” Blair took over feeding Ellie. 

“I want to go with you Daddy.” Jade yelled. 

“Not this time, Jade.” Jim got up and went to find Connor. He walked towards his room and could hear her heartbeat. She was lying on their bed and was sobbing. 

“Connor, I wish you’d let me change the sheets. We just had sex in here.” Jim was grabbing clean sheets as he talked.

If she wasn’t crying, she’d be laughing at how anal he was about things being clean. 

She got up and let him make his side of the bed. She made the other. Once it was done she got back in bad and curled into a ball. 

Jim slid into the bed with her and she cuddled up with him. “Jim, it’s been so long. It’s been so long.” She moved in closer to Jim and found his lips. 

“Megan… Megan…” and that was all he got out. 

Before long Jim was hard as a rock and couldn’t believe he was doing this to Blair. “Connor, what about Blair?” Jim finally asked panting. 

“I’m sorry, Jim. I’m sorry.”

“Connor, were you just trying to see if I would get hard? Do you think you can’t attract Joel anymore?”

“More or less. I feel like no one would want me.” Connor hadn’t looked this sad since the whole Joel ordeal. 

// Oh fuck… Joel must have done something. //

Jim got himself under control and went out and told Blair what happened. Jim could tell he was pissed. “Babe, could you go in there and show her that you can still get hard for her?” 

“No, can do.” Blair said as he walked down the hallway. Jim grabbed him and whispered, “She’s really upset.”

Blair knocked on the door and walked in and closed it on Jim. Jim went back into the kitchen and played with the kids and fed them some more food. 

Blair came out and said, “Connor’s going to keep an eye on the kids. We have to run a few errands.”

“Daddy, I want to go.” Jade ran up to Jim and held on to his leg. Drake walked over to Blair and said, “Don’t leave us Poppy.”

“Kids, it’s work. We’ll be back as soon as we can.” Blair said kissing each of them. 

Jim waited for Conner to come out to the kitchen and then he kissed all three of the kiddo’s and then went to the SUV. Blair was thrilled because he was driving. 

As soon as they backed out of the driveway, Jim asked, “Okay, babe, what’s going on?”

“First of all, don’t you ever get that close to Megan and kiss again. Understood?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.” Jim has his head hanging. 

“Now, Joel told Connor that he’s not happy anymore. He wants his life to be like it used to be.” Blair looked over at Jim to gauge his reaction. 

“That is such fucking bullshit. They’re a perfect couple. They’re getting back together whether they want to or not.” Jim growled. 

“Okay, we agree then. We’re on our way to meet Joel for lunch. I called him and asked him to meet us at the Chinese place. Nice, quiet and very private.”

“I love that place. I’m glad you chose that one.” Jim licked his lips as they drove. “Chief, you do realize it’s only 11:00, right?”

“I called, and they open at 11:00. So we’re good to go.” Blair pulled into the parking lot and saw Joel’s car first thing. 

“Joel’s here.” Both men said at the same time. 

“Here we go.” Jim opened the door for Blair and they walked into the place. They saw Joel first thing, and walked right over to the booth he had chosen. 

“Hey Joel.” Jim said as he got in their side. 

“Hi big guy.” Blair said pulling in next to Jim. 

“Okay, guys I know you’re here because of Megan. So just get it over with.”

“Joel, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Blair said as quietly as he could.

“Blair, I should be able to have a life I enjoy, right?” Joel looked so sad.

“Joel, just tell us why you went back to that woman.” Jim asked. 

“I’m in love with her.”

“Bullshit.” Blair yelled this time. 

“Chief, keep calm.”

“What? You don’t think I could get someone like her?” Joel yelled back. 

“Why the fuck would you want someone like her? She’s skanky.” Blair was getting more angry by the moment. “You have a wife that is gorgeous. She gave you a beautiful little girl and now you want to dump her?”

“Sandburg, mind your own fucking business. How do you know how many men Jim has slept with since you met?” Joel spat out.

Blair looked at Jim with watery eyes and asked, “You slept with someone else?”

“I never have babe. Never. Joel, why are you being so cruel. You know that I wouldn’t do that to Blair.” Jim was trying to stay calm.

“I’m sorry Blair. I’m a mess.” Joel hung his head in shame.

“Joel, talk to us. What’s going on. Do you not love Megan anymore?” Jim asked.

“I’m not sure, Jim. I need time.”

“Do you not love Ellie anymore?” Jim asked. 

“I’ll always love my little girl.”

“So, is it just because you want to be with a guy, too?” Blair asked. 

“No, not really.”

“Joel, I’m lost. Do you love your wife or not?” Jim was getting pissed. 

“Yes.”

“Then why are we sitting here?” Blair wondered aloud. 

“Jim, they said they would hurt Megan and take the baby if I don’t leave them. I can’t have my family hurt.” Joel sat straighter. 

“Joel, we’re going to check them out some more and then put them under surveillance. You are not leaving your wife over this. She’s so sad.” Jim answered. 

“Joel, have you guys had sex lately?” Blair blurted out and Jim kicked him in the shin. “Ouch. What’s your problem? She tried to come on to Jim this morning to see if she was still desirable. That’s why I’m asking.”

“I’m sorry Jim. I’m sorry Blair. No we haven’t had sex in a good while.” Joel looked sadder by the moment.

“Take care of that tonight.” Jim ordered with a smile. 

“Why does this girl want you so much, Joel?” Blair asked, and got another kick in the shins.

“She liked my penis. OH I’ll just say it, the size of my penis.” Joel blushed. 

“Well tell her there are many men out there with nice big penises.”

“I tried that, Blair.”

“Joel, we’ll also get a restraining order put out on both of them.” Jim added that to his list. 

“But Jim, then everyone will know about me and those two people.” Joel looked shamed.

“So you’d rather lose your wife and child instead?” Blair was getting pissed again.

“No, I’ll go and take care of things right now.”

“Can I ride to the station with you?” Jim asked. 

“Sure.”

“Joel, then stop by our house after work, have some dinner and tell Meg what’s going on.” Blair pushed him every second. 

“Want to have lunch, or do you want to go right to the paperwork?” Jim asked. 

“Right to the paperwork.” Joel answered.

“One more thing, Joel. Are you going to love you wife? Not just say it, but feel it and make love to her every chance you can?” Blair asked smiling. 

“Blair, I can’t promise anything.”

Jim and Blair looked at each other in shock. “You don’t fucking love her anymore do you?” Jim asked, sounding heartbroken. 

“Jim, I love her to death. But she looks at me differently now. She feels differently about me. I’m not sure she still loves me.”

“Well I’m going home. Are you coming with me Jim?”

“Yeah, I don’t see anything happening here.” Jim got up after Blair and they both looked sad.

“Jim, come back with me and help me file those papers.”

“Joel, I think I stuck my nose where it didn’t belong. You do what you feel is right. I can live with that. I love you no matter what.” Jim had tears in his eyes as he left the restaurant. 

The drive home was completely quiet. Blair kept looking over at Jim and hoped he would say something. 

“Blair, I’m fine. I’m just hurt. How could he think about leaving Ellie?”

“Better yet, how could he think about leaving Conner?” Blair was as upset as Jim was. 

“What are we going to tell Connor?” Blair asked. 

“Like I have a fucking clue.”

“I’ll talk to her. I don’t want her jumping your bones again.”

Jim glared at Blair and then looked away.

“What? You think it’s all right that she jumped you?”

“No, I don’t think it’s all right.” Jim was getting more quiet. 

“I’ll ask her to help me make up a nice dinner in case Joel stops by. And you can play with Ellie and our kids.” Blair was planning in his mind. 

When they drove into the driveway, Connor and the kids were all standing there waiting. 

Jim walked in and said, “Where are my babies?”

Drake and Jade both jumped on him screaming as they said, “Right here. Right here.”

Jim laid on the sofa and the kids were jumping all over him.

Connor noticed that he hadn’t looked at her once since he came in. Right then Jim looked over and said, “Where is my Bubby?”

Connor smiled and went and got her from the playpen. She was so friggin grateful that Jim loved her as much as he did. She handed Ellie to him and he said, “How is my bubby? My little bubby.”

Blair walked up and said, “Rafe is right, he is sickening.”

Laughing Connor said, “Not even close. It’s wonderful that he loves her.”

“I love her too.” Blair said. 

“It’s because he saved her life. She’ll always be special to him.” Connor was thinking out loud.

Jim got up from the sofa and had Ellie in his arms and his children on each of his legs. “Did you ever think that I just love her? Nothing else.” He walked weird with kids on his legs.

They watched Jim and started laughing. He was so damn cute. 

“How are we going to get to the bedroom? Daddy needs a nap.” Jim called out and Jade and drake jumped up and drug him into their bedroom. 

Connor and Blair could only hear giggles and loud laughing as they sat down to talk. 

“Fill me in.” 

So Blair did. He told her everything. Well, almost everything. She was very sad, but still hopeful. 

“Can I help make dinner?”

“Help my ass. You can make it alone. I want some of that nap that Jim’s getting.” Blair laughed. 

“Poppy, we need you in here.” Drake called out.

“Connor, you make the call. Whatever you want to make is fine with us.” Blair took off running to Drake’s room. 

Jim and Blair stayed in Drake’s room until Ellie needed changing. Jim picked her up and went and got the diaper bag. As he laid her on his bed, he already knew that she had made a mess, but for some reason it didn’t bother him. He cleaned her up with those wipes and put her new diaper on and he realized, he wouldn’t mind having another child. He loved babies. He leaned down and blew on her stomach and said, “Who’s little bubby are you?”

Connor stood in the doorway watching and wanted to sob. But she knew that single life might be near. She was going to have to be strong.

Blair came up beside her and she put her head on his shoulder. 

“He’s so fucking sweet, Blair.”

“Yeah, I kind of like him myself.”

“I just love him.” Connor added. 

“I can hear you both.” Jim said picking his bubby up. 

“We wanted you to hear. We love you.” Blair said. 

A song came on the radio that Jim loved and he pulled Blair into his arms and the three of them danced. Ellie thought it was great fun. Connor watched them and became sad. 

“I want to dance with my Daddy.” Jade was pulling on Jim’s jeans. 

Blair took Ellie and continued to dance and Jade and Jim danced. “Sing to me Daddy.”

So Jim did. He sang the song to her and Blair thought he was the sweetest man on the face of the earth. 

Drake came out and said, “Daddy, am I too big to dance with you?”

“Never, Drakey.” Jim picked him up and had both of them in his arms. They were singing and dancing for about an hour. Jim said, “Okay, my arms are numb.” He set both of the kids down.

He took Ellie from Blair and whispered, “Go and dance with Connor.”

So he did. They both sang along with the music and danced for about another hour. They realized they were all alone. “Do you suppose it was our singing?” Blair asked smiling. 

Jim came out of the room and said, “We’re going on a field trip.”

“Where are you going?” Blair wanted to go too. 

“To the park down the road. It has those wonderful swings.”

“Poppy and Auntie Megan come with us.” Jade asked. 

“Auntie Megan can’t. But I’m sure Poppy would love to. I’ll take Ellie, Jim.”

“It’s a family outing, Connor. You and Ellie are family.” Jim commanded.

Connor knew that dinner would keep until she got back. She was almost done with it. She was still praying that Joel would show up. 

Two hours later they all walked into the house, exhausted. “Daddy, can I have a nap?” Jade asked as she pulled him into her room. 

“That’s so cute how she asks.” Connor said laughing. 

“Poppy will you tuck me in for a nap?” Drake asked yawning. 

“You betcha.” Blair picked him up and carried him over his shoulder. 

Connor looked in on both kids and found sleeping Daddies too. These children couldn’t have been put in a better home.

 

When Jim woke up, he could smell something great. When he entered the kitchen he saw something he wanted to see for a long while. Connor was making out with Joel in their kitchen. Jim turned around and went back in with Jade. He’d rest a while longer. 

He no sooner laid down, and he heard Drake, “Uncle Joel. Uncle Joel. We missed you.”

Then Jim heard Joel say, “I missed you too, Drake. How bout a hug?”

Jim got up and then saw that Jade was awake. “Uncle Joel is here Jade.”

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.” Jade loved to scream. “Uncle Joel. Where have you been? We missed you.”

“I was at work all day, but Auntie Megan invited me over for dinner. Did you have fun with Ellie today?”

“Not as much fun as Daddy. He loves his bubby.” Jade almost sounded sad. 

“Well, maybe you can be my bubby.” Joel said. 

“You mean it?”

“Come here, my little bubby.” Joel kissed her and hugged her till she was giggling. 

Connor went into Jade’s room and hugged Jim. “He still loves me. We talked about a great deal. We made out in your kitchen, do you believe it?”

“Yeah, I saw part of it. I’m really happy for you all.”

“Mr. Ellison I don’t know what I would have done without you. So thank you and know that I’m always here for you too.”

When she left, Jim went in to Drake’s room to wake up his lover. He filled him in on what was going on. They both decided that life had gone back to good. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 23


	24. Sullivan's Pub Part 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at what we all know what life is like to be Mom’s, Aunts, or Gramma’s. Now the boys are finding it out for themselves.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 24  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B   
Status: Complete  
Date: 01/19/03  
Category: Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: This one is mostly fun. Read it and see. 

Summary: A look at what we all know what life is like to be Mom’s, Aunts, or Gramma’s. Now the boys are finding it out for themselves. I hope you can see the picture.

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub 24  
Patt

 

POSITION: Father, Daddy, Dad, Poppy, Pop.  
  

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

  

RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.  Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.  Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.  Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.  Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

  

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

  

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

  

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.  When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.


	25. Valentines Day At Sullivan’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts our very fun, but turns pretty serious. Happy Ending in sight.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 25  
Valentines Day At Sullivan’s  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/23/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: This one is actually fun. Read it and see. 

Summary: Starts our very fun, but turns pretty serious. Happy Ending in sight.

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub 25  
Patt

Top Rejected Valentines Day Cards

 

When everyone got to Sullivan’s that night, Connor said, “Hey you guys.”

“Oh Jesus, visions of Electric Company.” Grumbled Simon.

“What’s Electric Company? Besides the obvious.” Connor asked. 

“I hate you Connor. We’re all listening, so get busy.” Simon wasn’t in a good mood.

Okay, the subject is, Top Ten Rejected Valentines Day Cards, and we’re going to say if we’ve ever used them, want to use them or if you just want to move on.” Connor stated hurriedly. 

“I can tell you right now, we should just move on.” Simon was getting more irritated by the moment. 

“Okay, here we go.”

Connor: 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk  
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

Blair: I love this one. I love a drunk Jim. 

JiM: You do?

Blair: Oh yeah.

Rafe: I like this one too, because I love a loose and sexy Brown. 

Simon: We don’t want to hear all that.

Blair: I did.

Simon: Shut up, Sandburg.

Jim: (standing up quickly.) Don’t you tell him to shut up.

Simon: Do you remember who the boss is?

Jim: Not while we’re here, Simon. So knock it off.

Brown: Besides Simon, I am a loose and sexy drunk.

Simon: See, this is what happens. 

Joel: I think they’re cute.

Connor: So do I. But then I think all of our friends are cute, other than Simon Banks.

Simon: That was uncalled for, why is no one yelling at her?

Dan: Because she’s sweet.

Sam: I agree. She’s defending our gay friends. 

Sully: Simon, calm down. We’ll discuss things when we get home tonight.

Jim: Is something wrong, Sully?

Sully: The doctor said there is a small problem, so until I have the baby Simon and I can’t have sex.

Simon: I can’t believe you just said that.

Sully: He’s really horny. 

Jim: I won’t share Blair, but I can suck you off.

Dan: (Laughing) I want in on that.

Simon: You want to suck me? Oh dear god in heaven. 

Dan: No, I wanted Jim to suck me. (Laughing very hard now.)

Blair: Jim doesn’t blow anyone but me.

Joel: I can see that. I don’t want anyone kissing, sucking or fucking Meggie.

Simon: God, could we stop now?

Connor: It might be time to move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow  
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

Jim: This is on your card for this year.

Blair: Man, we got each other the same cards.

Sam: Are you teasing?

Dan: Yes, they’re teasing. 

Connor: Let me ask this. When we give blow jobs, who likes to swallow and who doesn’t?

Blair: I love to swallow. 

Jim: I love to swallow. 

Rafe: I love to swallow.

Brown: I don’t really love to, but it’s okay.

Rafe: You don’t like sucking me and swallowing.

Brown: Bri, I love the sucking part. I just don’t like the swallowing part as much. But I’ll do it.

Rafe: Don’t do me any favors. 

Simon: See what you did Connor?

Jim: A lot of men or women don’t like to swallow. Brown, that’s not a big thing. 

Rafe: Easy for you to say. You’re partner said he loved it.

Sam: Okay, I’m not wild about it either. But I do love sucking you, baby.

Dan: Well you don’t have to swallow. Move at the last minute. The very last minute. That moment when I’m about to have a stroke. 

Sam: (Laughing.) I got ya. 

Sully: I love it. And if my husband would accompany me into the kitchen, I’ll give him one right now.

Joel: If you don’t want to take her up on it, someone else might.

Everyone laughed at the go-to-hell look Simon was giving. Simon followed Sully into the kitchen. 

Jim: So Connor, how do you feel about them?

Connor: I love blowing Joel. Every chance I get. And I also love to swallow.

Joel: She does. Meg, don’t talk about it anymore. I’m hard as a rock.

Connor: If everyone promises not to look, I can go under the table and take care of that for you, honeybear.

Joel: No, we’ll wait until we get home. 

There was a loud yell from the kitchen and everyone burst out laughing. Simon and Sully came walking back to the table and Simon didn’t look at anyone. 

“Was it fun?” Jim asked. 

“Did you swallow?” Blair asked. 

“Shut up, both of you.” Simon laughed.

“I guess I could move on now.” Connor said smiling. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the sto.  
In hopes that later, you'd be my ho.

Sully: OH honey, I’ll always be your ho. 

Simon: (Laughing.) Glad to hear it.

Sam: I don’t mind being a ho, but don’t want a card saying as much.

Dan: I would never say that. Remember I call you my little slut?

Jim: (Laughing.) Dan you’re a riot. Hopefully I’ll always be Blair’s ho. 

Blair: Same here. (Giving Jim an odd look.)

Rafe: Brown is my slut and I’m his ho. 

Brown: We’re serious. These are our pet names in bed.

Joel: Meggie is my slut too. God, she’s good at it. She can make me hard in five minutes and then in five more make me come screaming her name. 

Simon: Joel, we probably could have gone all night without hearing that.

Blair: It’s good to be a slut. Just not an easy slut.

Connor: Sandy, explain to me what’s the difference.

Blair: Say Jim comes home from work and I’m standing there naked and hard, he knows he’s going to get lucky. But if you’re easy, that means, he takes advantage of you. You don’t want that. Have to be a slut in control.

Jim: You don’t have to worry about that one, Chief. You’re always in control. 

Blair: Tell them who is the bigger slut?

Jim: Yeah, I’m taller.

Blair: Not what I meant at all. 

Jim: Fine it’s me. I’m not only a fucking slut, but I’m an easy slut.

Simon: God, he’s got you trained well. 

Jim: Tell me about it.

Sully: Si, honey, do you feel like another trip to the kitchen?

Simon: Hold down the fort. We’ll be right back. 

Conner: Does anyone want to tell him, he’s an easy slut?

Joel: Not me. 

Jim: Me either.

Blair: I’ll tell him.

Jim: No, you won’t.

Dan: I think it should be our own little secret. 

Sam: That makes sense. Oh my listen to him now?

Jim: (I can’t believe she loosens him up like that.) She’s going to have him coming in record time. 

Blair: I gave her some pointers.

Jim: What?

Blair: The prostate loves to be rubbed. 

They all looked up as Simon screamed out Sully’s name. Then they started laughing. 

Jim: Thank goodness she owns this place.

Sam: Blair, will you tell me what you told her?

Blair: Sure Sam. I’ll talk to you after the survey. 

Simon and Sully sat back down at the table and everyone burst out laughing. 

Simon: I couldn’t help it. 

Jim: You’re cute.

Simon: Could we move this along?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 7. This feels so good, it feels so right  
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

Sam: You would get slapped. 

Dan: I would never pick this one. 

Sully: Simon would never pick this one either. 

Blair: Neither would Jim.

Rafe: Or Brown. 

Joel: Meggie wouldn’t pick it and I wouldn’t give her one.

Connor: So basically no one would go with this one?

Jim: Not if they want to live.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class  
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

 

Everyone at the table started to laugh. But no one was answering it.

Connor: So no one has a fat ass, but that aside, anyone like the spanking part?

Joel: I like it a little bit. It turns Meggie on big time.

Jim: I’m not into it, but Sandburg likes to do it now and then. It also turns him on big time.

Dan: I like to have Sam do it to me.

Sam: And I love doing it to him. Nothing rough, mind you.

Sully: Well I’m trying to talk Simon into it. 

Simon: We’ll try it later.

Sully: Goody. 

Rafe: Brown likes his ass spanked. And I love doing it. 

Brown: I’m hard just hearing all of this. Sully, you busy?

Simon: Shut up, Henry.

Brown: She knew I was joking.

Sully: Yes I did.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished  
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

 

Blair: Well this is Jim now.

Jim: (glaring) It is not.

Blair: What comes first Jim? Food or sex?

Jim: Food if it’s been all day long. 

Blair: I rest my case. 

Connor: Never would happen at our house. 

Rafe: Not ours either. 

Brown: Nope.

Sully: Well Simon sometimes thinks of his stomach first. But most of the time, he’s thinking of being inside of my warm, moist… 

Simon kissed her to stop her from saying anymore. 

Sam: No, we’d never get or receive that card. 

Dan: Thankfully so. 

Jim: So I’m the only person in the room that needs to eat before sex?

Simon: I guess so.

Jim: Fuck all of you.(glaring and wishing he was actually having sex.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 4. Through all the things that came to pass  
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

 

Connor: No one is big, so just tell us if you’d tell your partner if they did get bigger.

Jim: I’m not into the package thing. I love Blair. 

Blair: That’s nice Jim, but I can tell you that one of the first things I noticed about you was that ass. You could bounce a quarter off of it. And you can’t tell me that I’m not going to notice when it’s gone.

Jim: Well I know how you feel now. (pouting)

Simon: I could care less.

Sully: You don’t like the way I look?

Simon: I love the way you look, but it’s not first. I love your sense of humor and the sparks in your eyes. 

Sully: OH you’re just about ready to get lucky again.

Dan: I agree with Simon. 

Sam: About Sully?

Dan: No, about you. 

Sam: Thank you.

Joel: I love the way Meggie looks, but I also loved the way she looked pregnant. So I believe that I just love Meggie. No matter what.

Connor: Thank you honeybear. I feel the same about you. 

Rafe: I love Henry for Henry. 

Henry: I love Rafe because he’s got the best parts around. (laughing.) Seriously, I wouldn’t care. I love you my man. 

Rafe: I love you back.

Everyone noticed how quiet Jim had grown. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie  
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

Connor: With this one I think we should say if we ever wished our lovers looked like someone else.

Jim: No, I never have.

Blair: Well everyone uses fantasy, right?

Joel: I never have. 

Connor: Me either. 

Rafe: Nope.

Brown: Same here.

Sully: I’ve got enough with the real Simon.

Simon: Thank you, baby. I don’t use fantasy either.

Dan: Sam here.

Sam: Ditto. 

Again, everyone looked at a very quiet and sad looking Jim Ellison.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny  
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

Jim: I would use this one. 

Blair: So would I. In fact didn’t I say this very thing the other night?

Jim: I have no idea.

Sully: I love this one. Let’s frame it for the bedroom.

Simon: Okay.

Rafe: It would make a fun little sign for our bedrooms.

Brown: I love it too. 

Joel: Connor showed these one to me and I told her that we needed to print that one up. 

Connor: He did. 

Sam: It could be our motto’s.

Dan: It is our motto’s. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister  
You should check out the one that  
I gave to your sister!

Connor: Since this sucks, we’re going to talk about families. Who’s up first?

Simon: Well the doctor thinks everything’s going well and Sully can carry the baby full term. We’re still thinking about names. 

Sully: I’m thinking Irish names, but he’s thinking something more traditional. What do you think?

Jim: I love Irish names.

Simon: You hate others?

Jim: No, I just love Irish names. 

Sully: You have two children and neither of them are Irish names, are they?

Jim: No.

Blair: I’ll go next. Drake is doing really well in therapy. He’s such a nice boy. We really love him. He asks about you all the time. Maybe we could have a barbecue next weekend?

Sam: Oh that would be wonderful. Plan it and invite us. 

Blair: Jade is doing great in her little school and she’s quite the Daddy’s girl. She’s still fascinated by penises. So we’re never sure what she’ll say.

Dan: Me next, k? Sam and I went to the doctor and she found out what the baby is. We’re having a baby boy.

Simon: Congratulations Dan and Sam. That’s wonderful news. Should we tell them ours then?

Sully: Do. 

Simon: Baby girl for us.

Everyone shouted out congratulations to each other. Jim was hugging and loving his friends, but they all saw the sadness in his eyes. 

Joel: Can I talk about Ellie now?

Jim: By all means. 

Everyone laughed at his response. 

Joel: She’s doing very well and started a new day care that works on talking with the children. She said Mum and Dada last week. So we’re excited about that. And she too misses everyone. So a barbecue would be nice. 

Brown: Okay, we have an appointment next week with Mrs. Wilson about a five year old little girl. Her name is Delancy, and she’s an orphan. We’re very excited about it.

Rafe: What he said. 

Everyone got up and hugged the two men and wished them good luck. 

“Hey Jim, could I see you for a minute?” Simon walked towards the restroom.

“I hate this restroom Simon. What’s up?” Jim tried to stay upbeat, but it wasn’t working. 

“So how long have you known?”

“Known what?” Jim seemed clueless.

“You act like a man that’s going to break up with his wife or husband. How long have you known?”

“About two weeks.” Jim said sadly. 

“So now you have a family and you’re going to leave?” Simon was pissed. 

“You left Daryl.”

“These children lost one set of parents. They won’t survive another set.” Simon pulled Jim’s chin up so that they were seeing eye to eye. “Do you love him anymore?”

“God, I adore him. He’s not serious enough. And I think he’s looking at someone else.”

“Wait a minute. Sandburg looking at someone else? I don’t think so.” Simon was getting angry. 

“Simon there are things going on that I don’t want to tell you.”

“Does he still want to fuck you?” Simon asked quietly. 

“No.”

“And is that why you think he’s looking elsewhere?”

“Simon, he’s growing tired of me. He volunteered two night in a row at the station. Then when I called he wasn’t there. No one had seen him. And when he came home I could smell his come.”

“Could you smell anyone else’s?”

“No, but that doesn’t matter. It’s over. I’m going to take the kids and leave.”

“Excuse me?” Simon shouted.

“They’re mine. I’m going to take them.” Jim started out and Simon shoved him up against the closed door.

“Jim, you are not uprooting those poor kids. Grow up. Talk to Blair, but don’t make those kids suffer.” Simon looked at Jim and saw a man falling apart. “Jim, come here.” Simon held him for about a half hour. Then Joel came in and said, “Jim, you upset about what Blair said?”

“Yeah.” Jim almost whispered. 

Joel pulled him into a hug and just held him for awhile. “Thanks guys. I have to go home.”

And like that Jim walked out the front door and drove home. 

“Oh oh Hairboy. Your man just left you behind.” Rafe said laughing. 

“Why did he leave?” Blair asked Simon. 

“Sandburg follow me.” Simon walked back into the restroom and felt like he should pay rent. As soon as the door closed Simon asked, “How long has it been since you made love to Jim?”

“That’s nobody’s business.”

“Fine, you don’t want to talk, then leave.” Simon started for the door. 

“Wait… Wait… About two months.” Blair said with his head hanging. 

“And the reason?”

“He’s got other things in his life now.”

“You mean your children?” Simon was angry yet again. 

“They’re not even mine. I’m just there to babysit now and then. Jim pays so much attention to them, it’s sickening.”

“Grow up Blair. He’s a dad. If you think he’s doing to much, then push him aside and do some yourself. Do you think you can do that?”

“I’ll try.”

“Now, what were you doing Tuesday and Wednesday when you were supposed to be working?” Simon didn’t like the look on Blair’s face. 

“What? Is he telling on me now?” Blair shouted. 

“Don’t you fucking shout at me, you little asshole. You’re fucking someone and it’s not Jim.”

“I am not.” Blair started tearing up. 

“Where were you those two nights?”

I was driving around. That’s all. I swear. I just needed to get out.” Blair had tears rolling down his face by this time. 

“Well good it’s working out well. Jim’s going to ask you to move out. Just what you wanted.”

Blair moved up against Simon and started to sob. “Sandburg, crying isn’t going to fix it.”

“You’re right.” Blair washed his face and asked, “Can I have tomorrow off? I’ll need to find a new place to live.”

“Take the rest of the week off.” Simon opened the door and stormed off. 

Blair walked up to Rafe and said, “Could I have a ride home?”

“Yeah, let me get Henry.” Once he gathered their things, they all got into the car and started to drive home. 

Brown looked into the back seat and asked, “You breaking up, Blair?”

Blair was shocked because Henry never called him Blair. “Yeah, we’re breaking up.”

“Find someone better?” Rafe asked nastily. 

“No, there is no one else. There’s just not enough room in Jim’s life for me anymore.”

Blair watched Henry and realized he was crying. “Henry why are you crying?”

“I love you and Ellison together. Always have. And it breaks my heart.”

The rest of the drive was quiet and Rafe didn’t even say goodbye to Blair. Just let him off and drove away quickly. 

Blair used his key and came in the front door to see Jim sitting on the sofa waiting for him in the dark. 

“Chief, can I talk to you?”

“Yeah.”

Blair sat across the room so he wouldn’t be tempted to hug him or anything. “What’s up?”

“Sit by me, please?” Jim asked beseechingly. 

Blair sat next to him and he could see that Jim’s eyes were all swollen from crying. He touched Jim’s face softly and then leaned his forehead into Jim’s. 

“Blair are you fucking someone else?”

“No man. You know I would never fuck anyone else.”

“Well you’re not fucking me, so I wondered where you were doing your business.”

Blair started to cry and it broke Jim’s heart. There was someone else. God, Jim felt like he was dying. 

“Talk to me, Blair. Please?”

“I went on a date one night. But I knew it was a mistake. So I left.”

“Want out, Blair?”

“I want in.” Blair cried harder and Jim held on to him for dear life.

“What do you mean, you want in?”

“Jim you have no room for me anymore.”

“Chief, we have kids now. You knew things were going to change.”

“You’ll never see it, but you don’t let me in.”

“Blair, I need you to love me.”

“I do love you.”

“Show me.” Jim stood up and pulled Blair up to follow him into their bedroom. 

Jim locked the door first thing, so there would be no interruptions.

Jim stripped off all of his clothing and stood there waiting for Blair to say something. Blair knelt down in front of him and started to suck him off. It didn’t take too long and Jim moaned into his hand. 

Blair pushed him over to the bed and got his own clothing off and climbed beside Jim. 

“You belong to me Chief. Only me.”

“And you need to make time and room for me.”

“I’ll work on it. Now could you get busy fucking me?”

And Blair did just that. Blair watched Jim’s face and saw the sadness there. They would have to work on it. During the night, Jim woke up and fucked Blair so hard that Blair thought he as going to come apart. Jim was re-staking his claim. 

Jim woke him up in the morning and said, “The kids are eating breakfast. I told them you and I were going to shower today. So they won’t bother us. Come on.” 

Blair followed him in and made love to Jim again. God, he had missed this so much. “Thank you, Jim. Thank you.”

“Your welcome, Blair. I love you so much. Thank you for not leaving me.”

“Let’s go and visit the kids now.” Blair smiled at his love and they got dressed and started their day. 

Things aren’t always easy, as Jim and Blair were finding out. But they could work on it. And think about all of that make-up sex. Things would only get better. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 25

 

I’m the writer, and I have to have happy endings. Thank you for reading.


	26. Sullivan's Pub Part 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonight is about fifteen things to do at Walmart while your spouse or other is in taking their sweet time. Or they could just be doing it because it’s fun.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 26  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/28/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: Back to fun again. Hope you enjoy. 

Summary: Tonight is about fifteen things to do at Walmart while your spouse or other is in taking their sweet time. Or they could just be doing it because it’s fun.  
Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Everyone was sitting around the huge table at Sullivan’s waiting on Connor to get her papers together.   
“Connor, are you going to start this thing or what?” Simon grumbled.   
“Ready. I found all the pages. Relax and enjoy yourselves. Tonight is about fifteen things to do at Walmart while your spouse or other is in taking their sweet time. Or we could just do it because it’s fun.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Have you ever done this, thought this or want to try it? 1. Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.  
Blair: I’ve done this. Jim went and picked them out and got caught. This old woman smacked him with her purse.  
Rafe: (falling on the floor.) Ellison, he never cuts you a break does he?  
Jim: Never. Thanks Chief.  
Blair: They liked it.   
Connor: Jimbo, it’s a riot. You’re funny and don’t even know it.   
Simon: I think you’re all idiots.   
Sully: Simon, what a terrible thing to say. And besides I did this once.   
Simon: While we were together?   
Sully: Do I look insane?  
Simon: Good.   
Dan: I’ve never done it, but might think about it now.   
Sam: I’ll help.   
Joel: I have to admit, it would make me laugh my ass off. And Lord knows I have ass to lose.   
Connor: I love your ass, honeybear.  
Jim: Could we move on?  
Simon: Jim, that’s my job.  
Blair: So Rafe and Brown, have you ever done it?  
Rafe: Yes.  
Brown: Yes. Simon remember last week when you wondered why there was a box of condoms in your bag? Well now you know.  
Simon: I can’t believe you think this is funny.   
Sully: Honey, everyone is laughing about it except you and Jim StickInMud.  
Jim: Very funny, Sully.   
Simon: Now I did like that.   
Blair: You would LargerStickInMud.  
Connor: I knew this was going to be a good one. Okay, next one now. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

Blair: Can I borrow a piece of paper, Connor?  
Connor: Sure. Do you have a pen?  
Blair: Jim does. Jim can I have your pen?   
Jim: What are you doing?  
Blair: I’m writing these down so we can try them to make our trips to Walmart nicer from now on.   
Connor: So has anyone done this with the clocks?  
Joel: I did when I was younger.   
Simon: When you were a kids doesn’t count, Joel.   
Joel: It was last week, Simon.   
Everyone burst out laughing and Simon just shook his head in disgust.   
Brown: Rafe and I did this one weekend.   
Rafe: We did and we were laughing like fools so everyone knew it was us.   
Dan: I’ve never done it, but would go along for the ride.   
Sam: You’re on big boy.  
Sully: Can I go too? As you can see Simon wouldn’t let me do any of these things.  
Simon: I can’t believe that you even want to. Jim, what would your kids think?  
Blair: We’d let them set one or two.   
Jim: (Laughing) Simon, I’m starting to relax a little.  
Blair: A little are the key words. Guess what Jade did today?  
Connor: Oh tell us.   
Blair: She came running into the kitchen and said, “Daddy’s penis got bigger.”  
Jim: Chief, I’m going to kick your sweet ass.   
Joel: Explain please?  
Jim: I was just going in the bathroom and had my morning boner. Happy now?  
Sam: Could we see it so we know what she saw? (Laughing really hard.)  
Jim: Chief, I’m never going to forgive you for this.   
Simon: So tell me, Mr. Sandburg, what did you tell your little girl about the penis being bigger.  
Jim: Yes, Chief, tell everyone what you told her.   
Blair: Geeze, it’s not like a crime. I told her that a fairy comes late at night and makes them bigger for the morning. Then they have to go in and go potty. Then they become smaller.   
Jim: Now tell them what Jade asked?  
Blair: (sighing) So there is still a chance I could get one of them penises. I just have to catch the fairy.  
Everyone fell out of their chair and was howling.   
Simon: God, I love this group.  
Sully: You’ve never said anything like that. That was nice baby.  
Jim: Thanks Simon.  
Simon: So Jim, does that fairy come more than once a night?  
Jim: I knew I would never live this down. (Sighing)  
Sam: Time to move on perhaps?  
Simon: That’s my job.   
Connor: Get a grip Simon. Here we go. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

Jim: As a police officer I have to say this one would be terrible to do.  
Blair: (Howling.) Maybe he does have that stick up there. I think it would be a hoot.  
Rafe: I agree with Jim.   
Brown: It’s cuz you’re old.   
Rafe: What do you mean I’m old.  
Brown: You’re older than me.   
Rafe: Fuck you and not in a good way.   
Simon: Okay, calm down. I think it’s a bad idea too.   
Sully: Actually I think so too.  
Dan: I agree with Jim, Rafe, Simon and Sully. Bad idea. It could give someone a heart attack thinking someone bled to death.   
Sam: I agree also.  
Joel: I agree with the stick in the mud’s. I’ll go and have my stick inserted later.  
Connor: Honey, I’ll insert one for you tonight.   
Simon: Jesus, now it’s Het humor. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3   
in housewares,'...and see what happens.

Blair: I’m writing this down Connor. They’re a riot.   
Jim: Just don’t teach the kids.   
Blair: Speaking of kids, you want to hear one more story?  
Everyone yelled: Yeah.   
Blair: Jim was sitting on the sofa with the kids watching tv, getting way into some cartoon when I saw Jim jump on the sofa and he looked back at me scared to death. I ran over and saw what was scaring him. Jadey was rubbing his penis to see if it was still there. I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. And she said, “Poppy, I just don’t want you to lose Daddy’s penis.”  
Jim: I think that’s enough. As you can tell she has this thing about penises.   
Connor: Jim, why didn’t you move her hand off and tell her that’s a no no?  
Blair: Because Jim never tells the kids no.  
Simon: You better start Jim or you’ll feel foolish when she’s rubbing you when she’s 16.   
Everyone burst out laughing. And Jim glared at them all.  
Jim: Fine, I’ll be sterner. Back to the questions. Would anyone say that to someone that worked here?  
Sully: I would.   
Simon: It scares the hell out of me.  
Sam: I would too.   
Dan: You don’t scare me at all baby.  
Rafe: I think it’s stupid.   
Brown: I’d do it while shopping with Hairboy.  
Joel: See I didn’t think that was even funny. Anyone want to hear about Ellie?  
Jim: I do. I do.   
Blair: Everyone that’s surprised about that stand up.  
Jim: Shut up, Chief. Joel, tell us.   
Joel: She took her first step today and it was pretty exciting. And she says Mum and dada, so we just feel so proud.   
Connor: Jim can I tell them?  
Blair: What she touches your penis?  
Jim: Shut up, Chief. Yes, Connor you can tell them.   
Connor: When he was over three nights ago, she was sitting on his lap and she called him jam. We think it’s her way of saying Jim.   
Sully: Oh that’s so cute. And how exciting that she’s walking. She’s too young to walk.   
Connor: That’s what we said. The doctor said she’s an early walker.   
Rafe: Congratulations to both of you.  
Connor: Why thank you Rafe. Speaking of Ellie, want to watch her on Sunday?  
Rafe: It’s Superbowl.  
Connor: You promised you would watch her so you could practice.  
Jim: I’ll watch her.  
Connor: Jim, I’m trying to get her away from just you. She’s a brat.   
Jim: Sorry.  
Connor: I love it, Jim. But I want our friends to be in her life too.  
Jim: I mean it, I understand.  
Connor leaned in and kissed him and said something quiet. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

Jim: For some reason this screams Blair.   
Blair: It’s cuz I’ve done it before.   
Rafe: It reminds me of Sandburg too.   
Brown: I think so too.   
Joel: I was with him the day he did it. It was pretty damn funny.   
Simon: You’re all nuts. Sandburg, you need major help.   
Sully: He does not. He’s funny and you need to loosen up.   
Sam: I want to go shopping with Blair.   
Dan: Me too.   
Blair: Jim, looks like our weekend shopping trips won’t be just you and me anymore.   
Jim: Yes, they will be…  
Simon: Ellison, you going to kick someone’s ass because they want to shop with your partner?  
Jim: Yup.  
Connor: Jimbo, you crack me up.   
Jim: I hate that name.   
Connor: I know, that’s why I call you Jimbo. So much cuter.   
Jim: (sighing) I give up.   
Connor: Sandy, I won.   
Blair: You sure did. We’ll go celebrate this weekend and go shopping.   
Jim: (glaring at Blair) We’re going shopping.  
Blair: Jim, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I can shop with anyone I choose. You don’t own me. (Then Blair breaks out in song with the song, You Don’t Own Me.)  
Everyone bursts out laughing and Jim is still glaring.   
Simon: Now would probably be a good time to move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.  
Simon: Everyone that thinks Sandburg did this raise your hand.   
Blair: I’ll have you know that no one witnessed me and Brown doing that. So there.  
Brown: Oh sure, rat me out, Hairboy.  
Blair: That’s Ratboy to you, H.  
Rafe: Jim, I don’t know how you keep up with him.   
Jim: I don’t. I can’t. I don’t even try.   
Simon: This is such a stupid one.   
Joel: I think it’s funny. I would laugh my ass off if I saw one of those signs sitting on the carpet.   
Dan: Me too, Joel. Let’s hang with Blair more.   
Sully: Well I hate to say it, but this one doesn’t do a thing for me.   
Sam: Me either. Must be a family thing.   
Blair: Maybe it’s a sense of humor thing. (Cracking up.)  
Sam: I have one.   
Blair: Bring it next time or you’ll have to sit with Jim.   
Simon: Sandburg, you’re pissing Jim off.  
Blair: Why call me Sandburg and him Jim? Unfair if you ask me.   
Jim: Chief, would you drink some tea now?  
Blair: Fuck you, Ellison.   
Jim: (sighing) Just have fun.  
Blair: Like he needs to tell me that, eh Joel?  
Joel: Blair don’t be mean to Jim.  
Blair: He couldn’t get it up the other night. Did I tell all of you that?  
Jim jumped up from the table and stormed off to the restroom.  
Simon: What is wrong with you?  
Blair: No, it was him. He was listening to the kids and they were so sweet that he just couldn’t do it.   
Joel: Blair, get your ass into the restroom and apologize to Jim. You just embarrassed him to death.   
Blair: (pouting) I didn’t mean to.  
Simon: Now.   
Blair: Fine.   
Blair walked into the restroom and saw Jim washing his face. “Hey hot shot. I’m sorry. I was just telling them that you were listening to the kids and they were so sweet that you couldn’t do it.”  
Jim turned to Blair and said, “No more drinks tonight.”  
“Fine.” Blair stormed out of the restroom with Jim following.   
Jim sat down and didn’t look at a soul.   
Simon: Jim, I used to have problems seperating Daryl and my sex life. It’s not a big thing.   
Blair: (Spitting his beer all over Jim.) Simon, that’s too funny.   
Joel: Blair, here is your drink. (Handing him a glass of iced tea)  
Blair: Geeze, can’t a guy have a good time?  
Simon: Yes, but you were starting to hurt your partner.   
Blair: (looking pained) I hurt you babe?  
Jim: We’ll talk about it at home.   
Blair: (Moving closer to Jim.) I’m sorry. I’ll be better now.  
Jim: I love you, Chief.  
Everyone: AAAAhhhhhhh.  
Jim: Shut up.   
Simon: Maybe it’s time to move on?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers   
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding   
department..  
Jim: Chief, please tell me you’ve never done this.   
Blair: Okay.   
Jim: Oh shit.   
Simon: I’m telling you, you’ve got your hands full, Jim.  
Blair: You’ve been telling him about our sex life?  
Everyone laughs.   
Simon: Enough, Sandburg.   
Joel: I wouldn’t do this tent thingy.   
Dan: Me either. Unless Sam was with me. We could get a two person tent and have a good time.   
Sam: You’re on, big boy.   
Sully: Simon, can’t we do that too?  
Simon: NO!  
Brown: I would do it.   
Rafe: And I’d do it with you.   
Blair: Can I go along with you guys?  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why   
can't you people just leave me alone?  
Blair: Man, I have to try this one.   
Jim: Not while you’re with me.   
Blair: You don’t like when I cry?  
Jim: No.  
Blair: Ever?  
Jim: Ever. I don’t like to see you hurting.  
Blair: (leans in for a kiss) You’re the most romantic man I’ve ever been with.   
Jim: You said I was the only one.  
Blair: And the most romantic.  
Jim: Okay, then.   
Simon: So if he’d been with someone else it would matter?  
Jim: Not really, not if you love someone.  
Rafe: Yeah right.   
Brown: Jim, tell us that it wouldn’t bother you.  
Jim: Fine, it might bother me a little bit.  
Blair: God, I love you. (kisses him again.)  
Simon: Mushy is supposed to stay at home.   
Sully: I think it’s sweet.   
Simon: (sighs)  
Dan: I think it’s sweet too.  
Sam: Me too.   
Simon: This is not what the damn question is about you twits. You’re supposed to say if you would start crying when a sales person asks you if you need any help.   
Connor: Wow, I’m impressed. You can be my back-up when I’m sick.   
Simon: Oh thanks, so much.   
Rafe: No I would never do it.   
Brown: Me either.   
Sully: I think it’s kind of funny though.   
Simon: We don’t care if it’s funny, would you do it?  
Sully: Don’t you take that tone with me, Simon Banks.  
Simon: Sorry baby.   
Dan: I wouldn’t try this one.   
Sam: I wouldn’t either.   
Joel: I think it’s kind of silly.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you   
pick your nose.  
Blair: I’ve done this. Honestly.   
Jim: (sighing)  
Blair: What?  
Jim: Nothing. I just can’t believe you tell people these things.   
Blair: You better be good or I’ll tell them all about the filming session.   
Jim: Shut up, Sandburg.   
Blair: You wait and see.   
Simon: I’ve never done this stupid thing and wouldn’t admit to it if I did.  
Sully: Tell us how you really feel, Simon. (laughing)  
Sam: I agree with Simon.  
Dan: Me too.  
Rafe: Me three.  
Joel: Me four.  
Brown: Me five.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he   
knows where the anti-depressants are.  
Simon: Now this one is funny.   
Jim: It is.   
Blair: It’s stupid.   
Jim: No, it’s funny.   
Brown: I think it’s pretty funny too.   
Dan: Weird, but funny.  
Sully: I would roar is Simon said this.   
Sam: So would I.   
Joel: I love this one. I want this one written down, Meggie.   
Connor: Honey, they’re all written down.   
Joel: Oh yeah. I want to remember it.   
Blair: It’s still not funny.   
Jim: It is to all of us.  
Simon: He just doesn’t like to be shown up.   
Blair: Fuck you, Simon.   
Simon: Do I need to remind you who the boss is?  
Blair: Are you my boss at Sullivan’s Pub?  
Jim: Chief, stop it.  
Blair: And fuck you too.   
Jim: (leaning in close) later.   
Blair: (smiles) Okay.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme   
from 'Mission Impossible'.  
Blair: Brown, Rafe, Dan, you up for a game this weekend?  
Everyone laughs.   
Brown: I’m game.   
Rafe: Sure, sounds fun.   
Sully: I want to go.   
Rafe: You can go too. We like you. It’s your husband we don’t like. (roaring)  
Joel: I’m up for this.   
Connor: Can I go too?  
Joel: Of course you can, Meggie.   
Dan: I’m in and so is Sam.   
Simon: Well Jim it looks like you and I can just go hang out somewhere this weekend, while they’re making fools of themselves.   
Jim: Simon, who are you kidding? WE want to go. We’re going and we’re going to hum that song louder than anyone else.   
Simon: I have to?  
Jim: You can stay home alone. I want to be with Blair.   
Simon: Well shit. Sully count me in.   
Blair: Hot damn, we’re all going shopping on Saturday.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different   
size funnels.  
Blair: I would do this.   
Jim: (rolls eyes and sighs)  
Simon: I’d go just to watch you do it.   
Sully: Me too.  
Rafe: Me three.  
Sam: Me four.  
Dan: Me five.   
Joel: Me six.   
Brown: Me seven.   
Connor: Well I’m not a number, I’m just going to have a good time. Everyone in for this one?  
Jim: No.  
Blair: Spoilsport.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK   
ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'  
Rafe: OH my god, this is so Hairboy. (falling off of his chair.)  
Brown: I couldn’t agree more. When you do this one, Hairboy, I want to be there.  
Simon: Agreed, it’s Sandburg all the way.   
Sully: Me too. Me too. (bouncing.)  
Dan: This shouts out Blair.   
Joel: It does, doesn’t it? I love this one.   
Sam: I do too.   
Blair: I don’t think it reminds me of me at all.  
Jim: It does babe, it does.   
Blair: So you would go along and let me do this one Jim?  
Jim: No.  
Blair: You are no fun.   
Jim: I’ve been told.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal   
position and scream 'NO! It's those voices again'. !

Jim: Before you even ask. No, you’re not doing this one.   
Blair: Geeze. I want to live with someone fun.   
Connor: I wouldn’t let you do that one either, Sandy.   
Blair: Connor, I said someone fun.   
Connor: (sticking her tongue out)  
Joel: She’s fun.  
Jim: I’m sure she is Joel. But I’m not.   
Blair: I don’t know, you were fun the other night.  
Jim: Shut up, Sandburg.   
Brown: I wouldn’t do this one.  
Rafe: I wouldn’t either.   
Blair: You two are like the stepford wives.   
Rafe: What???  
Blair: Nothing.  
Brown: Tell us what he meant by that.   
Jim: Like I have a fucking clue.   
Blair: It’s okay, Jim. I bet no one else here can keep their dick up for three hours.  
Jim: (lays head on table and begins to smack it hard.)   
Simon: He’s a joy isn’t he?  
Jim: If you say so.   
Dan: Has anyone else kept it up that long?  
Simon: Dan, what are you doing?  
Dan: I can ask a question if I want.   
Blair: I can’t. I’ve tried and I just can’t.   
Joel: I’ve never timed mine, have you, Meggie.   
Connor: You guys are nuts. Joel, you’ve kept yours up for about two hours the other night.   
Joel: (beaming) Oh yeah, I forgot about that.  
Connor: Well as you can tell I didn’t.   
Rafe: Hour for me, tops.   
Blair: How about when you bottomed?   
Rafe: Shut up, Sandburg.   
Brown: I can keep going for about two hours.  
Rafe: He can.   
Dan: Sam, how long can I keep it up?  
Sam: Hmmm… About two hours, easy. Maybe three.   
Dan: Jim, you want to time it tonight?  
Jim: NO, I’m more mature that that.   
Blair: That’s his way of saying, he’s older than you and doesn’t want to get shown up.   
Everyone is laughing.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: 15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loud We're out of toilet paper   
in here!'

Jim: I could see Sandburg doing this.

Simon: So could I. 

Blair: What, no one else could? This is funny material.

Rafe: I wouldn’t say it. 

Brown: But look where you try on clothes. 

Everyone laughed. 

Joel: I think it would be funny, but wouldn’t ever try it myself. 

Sully: I’m still laughing from the last one. Meggie this was a wonderful survey. 

Connor: Why thank you.

Sam: I loved it too. 

Dan: I wouldn’t do this. I’d be too chicken. 

Simon: I could do it, I just don’t think its funny. 

Jim: Same here. 

Blair: You guys are so boring. 

Simon: What’s the next one?

Connor: That’s it. We’re done for the night. 

Blair: Come on Jim we have to get home.

Jim: Why? (looks at Blair and sees the smile) Oh yeah. Night everyone. 

Everyone: Night boys. 

They walked out the door and Connor said, “Well I think that Jim and Sandy are getting more used to being parents. What do you all think?”

“I think they’re doing great.” Simon said as he helped Sully out of her chair.

“Sandy just needs to drink some to relax.” Connor said.

“It’s a bar, to be expected.” Simon said with a smile. 

“Night everyone,” Sully called out. 

Everyone: Night Sully and Simon. 

Everyone else got their things together and they all laughed and talked all the way out to the parking lot. 

Another wonderful night at Sullivan’s Pub. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 26


	27. Sullivan's Pub Part 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian Rafe and Henry Brown have found out what parenthood is like. And they like it.   
> Warnings: m/m

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 27  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 01/29/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: A very short one this time about Rafe and Brown adopting a little girl. 

Summary: Brian Rafe and Henry Brown have found out what parenthood is like. And they like it.   
Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 27  
Patt

 

Rafe and Brown finally found the house they wanted and Jim gave them more money to put down on it. Jim liked handing that money around. 

The house was four houses down from Jim and Blair’s. It was beautiful and four bedrooms. It was going to take awhile to get it ready. 

A week later, Jim took them shopping and furnished their entire home. Again, he said he loved using that money for his friends. So basically the house was set to go.

Now they just needed a child.

“Henry, where is my friggin tie?” Rafe was throwing things around the bedroom. 

“Bri, calm down. It’s just a child. Don’t be so nervous.” H leaned into Rafe and kissed him. 

When Mrs. Wilson had called them about this child, Henry didn’t know how Brian would take it. The child was black and it’s one thing to have a black lover, but a black child? But Brian had assured Henry that it didn’t matter to him. He just wanted a family with him. Then he reminded Henry that if they were able to have their own, chances are they would have a black child. 

Henry loved when Brian was so logical. 

The drive to the Case Workers office took forever. They walked in and saw Mrs. Wilson but no one else. 

“Hi guys. Delancy is waiting to meet you. Stop looking like she’s going to eat you.” She laughed all the way down the hall. 

They walked into the room and a set of brown eyes looked up. Mrs. Wilson said, Henry and Brian, I would like you to meet, Delancy Rose. Delancy didn’t know what to do.

“It’s very nice to meet you. We’d like to take you to lunch. What do you think of that?” Henry asked. 

“I’m hungry.” Delancy said softly. 

“I’m hungry too. Henry doesn’t let me eat enough.” Rafe whined. 

“Delancy, he’s joking. Where would you like to go to lunch?” Henry asked. 

“Wonderburger.” Delancy yelled out. 

“Did you get the booster seat?” Mrs. Wilson asked. 

“Yes ma’am. We’ll have her back in about two hours.” Brown said as they all walked down the hallway.

The drive over was silent. But during lunch Delancy started to open up.

“So do you know how old I am?” Delancy asked. 

Brown smiled and answered, “Sure do. You are five years old.”

“You got that right.” Delancy said sweetly. 

Both men smiled. 

“Mrs. Wilson said you’re gay.” Delancy was asking more questions.

“Do you know what that is?” Rafe asked her.

“Do you kiss Henry?” As she said it, she scrunched up her nose. 

“Yes, I kiss Henry and only Henry. We’re like a married couple. Except we’re two men.” Rafe finished. 

“Does that bother you?” Brown asked. 

“I want to see you kiss him and then I’ll tell you.” Delancy said. 

Brown leaned over to Rafe and they kissed a short but sweet kiss. 

“No, that doesn’t bother me.” Madison said, “And call me either Del or Lancy.”

“Okay, Lancy. I’m glad it doesn’t bother you. 

“We told Mrs. Wilson that it was all up to you. You make the call.” Brown said. 

Lancy said, “I want to go with you. I’ve been in that icky house for a long time.” 

 

“We’ll let you talk to Mrs. Wilson when you we get back.” Rafe said. 

“They’ll make me go back to that home. They’re mean. The other kids hit me and hurt me.” Then poor little Delancy started to sob.

Henry looked up beseechingly at Rafe and held on to Delancy.

Rafe pulled out his phone and explained everything to Mrs. Wilson.

Rafe looked at them and smiled and said, “You get to go home with us right now.”

“Yay…” Delancy shouted. 

They drove home talking all at once. “Do I get my own room?” Delancy asked. 

Rafe smiled into the mirror and answered, “Yup.”

The guys took Delancy shopping for clothing and doing her room up in something that matched her personality. When they got home, Delancy was sound asleep.

She woke up when they were taking the seat belt off. When Delancy walked in, she just stood and stared with wonder. 

“Jim’s home.” Rafe shouted. 

“And?” Brown asked. 

“Can I go and ask if we can pick some of the new furniture up now and get it set up?”

“Call him and have him come down and meet Delancy.” Brown smiled at Delancy who was watching them like a hawk. 

The guys showed Delancy around and showed her, her very own room. She loved it, so Rafe and Brown were very happy. When they walked out the doorbell rang and Delancy held on to Brown’s leg.

“It’s okay, Delancy. This is your Uncle Jim.” Rafe pulled the door open and Jim walked in. 

“Delancy, this is your Uncle Jim Ellison.” Jim got down to her level and he hugged her. “Good to meet you.” 

Rafe came out and said, “So Jim, do you still want to take me?”

“I’m not saying a word.” Jim laughed at the look on Rafe’s face.

“Not around our baby.” Rafe whispered. 

Lancy looked around and said, “You have a baby?”

“He was talking about you sweetie.” Brown said as he pulled her on his lap.

“We’re off to pick up the furniture. Back in a few minutes.” Rafe looked at her and could see the pout. 

“Could I kiss you goodbye, Lancy?” Rafe asked. 

“Yes, you’re supposed to. You guys are my daddies now.” 

Brown and Rafe both beamed with pride. Rafe leaned down and kissed her and then he kissed Henry goodbye also. 

When they got in Jim’s truck, Jim said, “She’s a real sweetie.”

“We think she is too. She wanted to come home today and Mrs. Wilson said that would be fine. I’m in shock. God, we’ve been waiting forever it seems.

Things went well, they got all of the furniture and accessories picked up and then stop for drive-up food for dinner. 

The three men unloaded the truck while Lancy sat on the sofa out of the way. Once they were done, Jim called Blair to tell him to come down for dinner and meet the new addition. 

Blair, Jade and Drake were down there in no time flat. When he rang the doorbell he didn’t even say hello to Rafe. He rushed in and said, “Where is our little Delancy?”

“I’m right here. What’s your name?”

“I’m Uncle Blair. I live with Uncle Jim. And these are our children, Drake and Jade.” Blair watched to see what the kids would do. 

Jade hugged her and said, “You’re going to love your new Daddies. They’re nice. They watched us a few times.”

“I like them a lot. I think they like me too.” Lancy smiled over at Drake. 

Drake went up and shook her hand. “If you have any problems at school you tell me about it. We’re the same age. Uncle Brian is Delancy going to my school?”

“Yes, Drake. Will you watch out for her please?” Rafe asked.

“Sure. Daddy, I have a new friend.” Drake smiled up at Jim. 

They all sat down and had dinner together. Lancy talked almost non-stop telling Drake and Jade how much she wanted to live here. 

Everyone knew that it was going to take awhile to get the hang of it. She was so nervous. 

The guys worked on Lancy’s room after dinner and then got everything fixed up. When they were all done, her room looked darling. 

“Rafe did you all pick this, or did Lancy?” Blair asked. 

“Lancy picked out furniture, curtains, sheets and bedspread. Not to mention all of the pillows she chose.” Brown laughed as he started putting them on the bed. 

“So we can call if we have troubles, right?” Rafe asked Jim. 

“Sure, you know you don’t have to ask.” Jim replied. 

“Drake and Jade it’s time to go home.” Blair said heading for the front door. 

“Poppy, we don’t want to leave yet.” Drake said stomping his foot. 

Jim walked in and said, “Don’t take that tone with Poppy. Now say goodbye to Lancy, Uncle Bri and Uncle H.”

“Goodnight everybody.” Drake could pout better than anyone. 

For the next few months, Brown and Rafe had to ask for help, many times. But they were now a family. Just what they all wanted. Another happy year seemed to be working out for the boys. 

Brian and Henry could hardly wait for the next Sullivan’s Pub so they could tell everyone about Lancy. Until then, they would sit and read with her and love her. They found out they were both made to be parents. 

End Sullivan’s Pub 27


	28. Sullivan's Pub Part 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A serious one for this evening. But it will be followed by a kick ass funny one. Does that help?

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 28  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/03/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Dedication: I want to dedicate this story to tessa58 for giving me such fantastic feedback, that I wanted to write two Sullivan’s Pubs tonight. Every time I feel like giving up, I’ll think of you and go and write more and more. Thank you, Tess. 

Summary: A serious one for this evening. But it will be followed by a kick ass funny one. Does that help? 

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan's Pub 28  
Patt

Jim and Blair had gotten home late the night before and hadn't even gotten to kiss their children goodnight.

Jim felt as if he'd only been asleep for an hour when he felt the covers being lifted up and he could feel the air against his skin. Then he heard his little girls heartbeat.

"Jade, what are you doing?"

"Daddy the penis fairy didn't come tonight, so can I sleep with you and Poppy?"

"Is something wrong precious?" Jim set her in bed between he and Blair. 

"I had a dream that someone took me away from you and Poppy."

"Honey, no one can take you away. Ever." Jim kissed her and pulled her in close to try to make her feel safe.

They laid like that awhile and Jim said, "Jade, if you don't stop what you're doing, you'll have to sleep alone."

"Dangit. I just like how it feels." Jade snuggled up and this time didn't cop a feel.

Drake walked into the bedroom and said, "Daddy?"

"Come here Drake. What's wrong?" Jim asked. 

"I had a bad dream and I want to sleep with you. But I see there ain't no room." Drake looked heartbroken.

"This is a big bed. Come on. Slide over to Poppy, Jade. Drake, climb in right here." Jim got everyone settled and they were all sleeping within minutes.

Jim got up in the morning and decided he'd shower and make breakfast for everyone. While he was in the shower Jade walked in and joined him. 

"Pick me up, Daddy."

Jim washed her and shampooed her hair and then he finished his shower. "Jade, you want to help me make some breakfast?"

"Yay. I would like that." Jim fastened the towel around her snuggly so that it wouldn't fall off.

He got himself and her dressed and the two of them began making a nice breakfast. 

Suddenly there was a terrible scream and Jim went running for the bedroom. 

"He wants you Jim." Blair looked hurt that Drake didn't call out for him. 

"Drake, I'm making breakfast. You tell Poppy about the dream and let him hold you." Jim left the room trying to stay strong.

He could hear Drake going into Blair's arms and Blair was loving it. Jim tended to take over everything. He was going to have to stop that.

Jade looked over at her daddy and said, “When I get big can I order a penis?"

"Nope, you're a girl. You don't get one."

"But Daddy that's not fair. You, Poppy and Drake all have one. I want one." Jade was starting to pout just like Blair. 

"Sorry honey. Only boys have penises. I've told you this."

"Well Auntie Megan told me we were girls so we could have babies. I don't want no stinking babies. I want a penis. Couldn't I trade?" Jade stomped her foot as she finished the sentence. 

"Tough. You're not getting one, Jade. Now would you like to set the table?" Jim smiled down at her and won her over. 

"I love helping you, Daddy." She reached up for the plates that Jim handed to her. 

Once the table was set she gave Jim a hug and Jim pulled her out of the hug and said, "Jade, stop touching me. No more."

Jade went off into her bedroom crying her little heart out. Blair walked in and said, "What did I miss?"

"We were having the usual discussion of penises and then she hugged me and was touching me. I told her to stop touching me and then said no more."

"Good job, Daddy." Blair kissed him and smiled. 

"Will you go and make sure she's all right?" Jim was worried. 

"Sure. Get Drake to the table and fed and I'll take care of our baby." Blair walked into Jade's room.

"Drake you all dressed?" Jim called from Drake's doorway. 

"Yup. I'm hungry."

Jim picked him up and gave him a huge hug and kissed his cheek. "I love you Drake."

"I love you too, Daddy. Now can I eat?" Drake wiggled out of Jim's arms and sat at the table. 

Jim brought all the food over and yelled, "Jadey, if you want some good breakfast you better run on in here."

"Daddy, will you butter my roll?"

"Sure Drake. They're muffin's. Do you like blueberry muffins?" Jim asked as he swiped butter across it.

"How would I know? You haven't given it to me yet."

Jim burst out laughing and was reminded of how much he loved having children. 

Jade came walking out of the bedroom with her head hanging. She sat at the table and didn't eat a thing on her plate. 

"Jadey, what's wrong?" Jim asked. 

"Jim, you don't want to know." Blair said almost laughing. 

"Jadey, tell me."

"I like the way it feels and now I won't have anything to rub." 

"I'll get you a wonderful stuffed toy. How about a Black Panther? You can rub it every time you feel like rubbing me." Jim hoped this would work.

"That might work, Daddy. Would you stop being mad at me?" Jade asked sadly. 

"Honey, I'm not mad at you, but you just can't go around touching men's penises." Jim said simply.

"Unless they wanted you to." Jade added. 

Jim began to choke on his turkey bacon and orange juice. "Sandburg, where did she get that idea?"

"I don't know. I didn't tell her that. Jade, what do you mean by that?"

"Well if Daddy wanted me to touch it, he could ask me." Jade smiled up at both men. 

Jim and Blair sat their in shock. "IN that case, new rule. You can't touch one even if anyone asked." Jim hurried to add.

"I really liked your penis." Jade said sadly. 

"Jade, you have to start thinking about something else. Get your mind off of Penises." Blair was sounding stern and it made her cry. 

She jumped up and got in Jim's lap and Jim had to be tough. "Jade, we're serious. You don't touch penises at all. No one's. Is that understood?"

"Yes Daddy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Poppy. I'm sorry Drake." Jade cried. 

"Why did you say sorry to Drake?" Jim asked. 

"I touched his this morning while he was sleeping." Blair tried not to laugh out loud. 

"Jade, never again. Understood?" Jim sounded very angry and Jade began to sob. "I won't do it again."

The men got the kids all ready and the busses picked them both up and they had an hour to kill. 

Jim took Blair into the bedroom and stripped him of his clothes and pushed him back on the bed. He began to suck on Blair's cock until the young man was moaning with need. 

"Jim, I want you to fuck me."

"Oh I plan on it." Jim got Blair ready and slowly entered him watching the look go from pain to ecstasy.

Jim was pounding into him having one hell of a time, when he stopped all of a sudden and said, "Shit."

Jim pulled out of Blair and cleaned him up. "What's going on, man?"

"My dad's here." Jim cleaned himself off and got dressed as quickly as Blair did. 

"Is he outside or in the house?" Blair asked looking nervous.

"He's at the front door right now." Jim looked like he was scared. 

"Jim, I'll leave you two alone and clean up the kid's room."

"Thanks, Chief." Jim walked to the front door and opened it and said, "What's up Dad?"

"Well you've been inviting me over and I thought I would come and see your house and your children." William stepped in the doorway and Jim could smell the liquor. 

"Is something wrong?" Jim asked his dad.

"Wrong? What could be wrong? My son is a fag and lives with another fag and they adopted kids. They'll probably be fags too." William spat out. 

Blair walked into the living room and said, "Get out."

"You going to let your whore talk to me like that?" William shouted and Jim went for William.

Blair stopped him in time so Jim didn't hit him. "Get out of our home now. And don't come back." William stormed out of the house and drove off.

"We better get to work." Jim said grabbing the SUV keys.

"Jim, don't you want to talk about this?" Blair asked lovingly.

"No, I need to work." And they walked out the door. 

The day went fairly fast. Connor walked up to Blair and said, "Sandy could I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure." Blair followed her into the break room. 

"I want you so bad. I'm going to lock this door and jump your bones." Connor put a finger over her lips and Blair almost smiled. "OH yeah, that's what I want. What a nice cock you have."

The break room door almost came off it's hinges and Jim said, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." She said smiling. 

"Chief, what's going on?" Jim was so confused. 

"Tell ya the truth, I haven't a clue. Connor, what's going on?"

"I didn't like the way Ellison was treating you today. I know something happened, but it doesn't matter. You have to need Sandy all the time. If it's something bad, then let him hold you and help you get through it." Connor shoved Jim into Blair's space and Jim put his arms around Blair. 

"I'm sorry Chief. I'm so sorry. I love you." Jim whispered, but Connor could still hear it. 

"I'll love you forever, Jim. You're Dad was drinking, he'll feel bad and come around some other time."

"Maybe, but I'm not sure I want him to." Jim answered. 

"We'll work on it." Blair kissed him quickly and walked out of the room. 

Simon walked up to Sandburg and said, "Where's Jim?"

"He's on his way out. Why?" Blair was worried. 

"Mr. Ellison tried to pick up Jade at her day program."

"Oh shit. But they at least knew not to give her to him. Thank god for that." Blair was pacing. 

Jim walked out and knew something was wrong. "What happened?"

"Your dad tried to pick up Jade from school." 

"I'm going to fucking kill him." Jim grabbed his jacket and started for the stairs. 

"Excuse me. Are these kids not mine too?" Blair called down the stairs. 

"He's my dad. He's my problem. I'll be sure he never does it again." Jim kept walking down the stairs. 

"Ellison, if you don't come back up here, I'm going to leave you." Blair then walked back into the bullpen and sat at his desk.

Jim came walking in and said, "Chief, I don't want him near our children."

"Fine, then we'll go after work. But not now and not by yourself." Blair kept typing as he talked.

"I'm sorry Chief." Jim finished his paperwork quickly so they could go and get this over with. 

Driving up to his old home, Jim found himself intimidated as always. The two men walked up to the door and rang the bell. 

Sally opened the door and said, "Oh Jimmy. It's so good to see you. Come in. You must be Blair?"

"Yes, Sally I'm Blair. We need to talk to William."

"I'll go get him for you. Sit down boys." She left the room and walked up the stairs to find William.

Finally William came down the stairs and smiled at Jim. "Jimmy, what a nice surprise."

Jim looked at Blair like he didn't know what to do. "Dad, you were at our house this morning. Do you remember that?"

"I've never been to your house Jimmy. I would like to. Where do you live, Mr. Sandburg?"

"I live with Jim. Sir you were at our house this morning, yelling at Jim and about our kids." Blair tried to explain.

"Jim, you got married and have kids?"

"Dad are you all right?" Jim was now worried. He went off to find Sally. 

"Sally, does Dad have periods of the day or night where he doesn't remember what he said or did?"

"Yes, Jimmy. He drinks too much and I think the doctor called them black outs or something like that."

"Thanks Sally, I'll see you later." Jim headed back into the living room and could hear his father, "Listen you little fag. I want you away from my son. I will pay someone to hurt you."

Jim walked into the room and pulled Blair up and said, "Dad, you're a prick and I never want to see you again."

"Jimmy, that fag will tire of you soon enough and then no woman will want you." William shoved Jim hard enough to make Jim fall into the sofa. William got down close and said, "I'll tell him all of your dirty little secrets if you don't call this off now."

Blair pulled him off of Jim and helped Jim up. They walked to the SUV and got in. Before Blair started the vehicle, he looked at Jim and asked, "Jim, did he do things to you?"

"No, he's talking about when I was young the boy next door and I played with each other's penises. That's what he means." Jim said almost smiling. "He's such an idiot."

"That he is, babe. That he is." Blair started the truck and they went to the baby-sitters house to pick up their children.

After dinner that night, they sat with the children and read them their favorite books. 

“Daddy, could we watch X-Men?” Drake asked about his favorite movie. 

“Drake we just watched it last week, remember?” Jim asked. 

“That’s okay. I’ll go and play with my toys.” He walked away quietly and Jim said, “Want me to play with you?”

“That would be cool Daddy. Come on.” And the two went in laughing and began to play with all sorts of X-men toys. Those were Drake’s favorites. 

Blair smiled at the cute sounds coming from Drake’s bedroom. “Poppy will you play dolls with me?”

“Sure, show me the way. I’ve forgotten.” Blair teased. 

“You’re silly Poppy. It’s this way.”

Blair started to go in the spare bedroom and Jade laughed her little head off. “Poppy, not there, here.” They began to play with her dolls and the evening flew by. 

Jim stuck his head in the doorway and said, “Who would like a bath?”

“Me. Me. Me.” Jade flew into his arms. 

Drake walked up to the doorway as Jim walked out and said, “Poppy, would you like to play with me until I have to take one?”

“Sure. Sounds good to me.” They sat on the floor of his room and began giggling. Blair wasn’t really paying attention to anything but Drake and he looked up and found William Ellison standing there with a gun on him. Drake looked at Blair and whispered, “Poppy, who’s that?”

“You stupid fag. You didn’t even tell them they had a Grampa did you?” William spat out. 

“What do you want, William?” Blair asked point blank. 

“I want my son back. I don’t want him in your hands again. He’s going to move back with me and things will be like they used to be.”

“You know that can’t happen sir. He’s a cop. He has a life.” Blair tried to reason with him. 

The bathroom door opened and William whispered, “Don’t you say a word or the little one goes first.”

So no one said a thing but Jim heard the heartbeats and knew that his dad was in Drake’s room. He got his gun and made Jade go and hide in their bedroom. “Please come with me, Daddy. Please?”

“Jadey, I have to get Poppy and Drake too. Now go and hide under the bed. Promise?” Jim kissed her and she took off running. 

He walked into Drake’s room and found William holding a gun on both Blair and Drake. 

“Dad, what are you doing?” Jim finally asked. 

“I want my son back at my house.”

“Dad, I live here now.” Jim tried to tell him. 

“I’ll shoot them Jimmy. You know I will.”

“Dad please. I’ll go home with you. I promise.” Jim almost begged. He could see his dad’s hand shaking and was afraid of the gun going off. 

“Okay, put your gun down and we’ll go.” William stood up and walked to Jim. “Put it down, Jimmy. Be a good boy. That’s my good boy.”

Jim set the gun down and walked out of the room with his dad. William said, “In your room first.”

“Why?” Jim was about to panic, knowing that Jade was there. 

“Just get in there Jimmy.” William shoved Jim into the bedroom and said, “Take your clothes off right now.”

“Dad, please.” Jim said and William slapped Jim making him lose his balance and falling back on the bed.

“Now take those clothes off right now or I’ll hurt those kids.”

“Dad, why are you doing this? You’ve never done this in my life.” Jim almost screamed. 

“But I wanted to. I wanted both of you boys. But you were always watching out for things. I never got my chance. Now I’ll get you or I’ll get your little boy.” William still had the gun on Jim. 

“You gonna shoot me dad?”

“Don’t think I won’t. You’re going to be mine.” William growled at his son. 

Blair walked into the room and saw a half dressed Jim and said, “William, let me take the children out of the house.”

“No, bring them in here. I want them to see what I’m going to do to their dad.”

“I’m not bringing them in here, William.” Blair said calmly. 

“Fine, I’ll shoot him now.” William cocked the gun and Blair brought his gun out and shot William Ellison in the shoulder. 

“You stupid fag, you shot me.”

“I am not stupid.” Blair pulled William’s hands behind his back and put the cuffs on him. 

“Jimmy, everyone will know.” William pleaded. 

“Know what Dad? That you wanted me and Steven for years? Like I care about that.” Jim took him out to the living room. The officers were waiting for him and took him gladly. 

“I’ll be down to the station in a few minutes to fill out the paperwork.” Jim said to their retreating forms. 

Blair came up and hugged Jim fast and said, “We’ve got two scared fucking kids in the bedroom. Let’s go take care of them.”

“How about the one fucking scared daddy?” Jim said softly. 

“He’ll be held by the one fucking scared Poppy. I love you Jim.”

When Jim came into the room Jade ran for him and just kept crying her eyes out.

Drake said, “Poppy she’s upset cuz that bad man was going to touch Daddy’s penis when he didn’t want him to.”

“But he didn’t Jade. He didn’t touch me.” Jim kept hugging her harder. 

“Daddy, I promise I won’t ever touch your penis again. I promise… Unless it’s by accident.” Both Blair and Jim burst out laughing. 

“That sounds good to me, Jade.” Jim kissed her and handed her over to Blair. He then picked Drake up and just held him for awhile. 

“Sometimes guys get to hug too, right?” Drake asked. 

“Drake, you can hug us anytime you want. We’re hoping you’ll let us hug you for the rest of our lives.” Jim smiled at the look of horror on Drake’s little face. 

“Maybe till we’re ten. Does that sound good, Jade?”

“No, I want them to hold me forever.” Jade cuddled into Blair and Blair wanted to never let go.

“Chief, I have to go and fill out the paperwork.” Jim looked sad about leaving. 

“I’ll be here when you get home.” Blair kissed him goodbye and so did the kids. 

When Jim arrived at the station, Simon was waiting for him. “Jim follow me.”

Jim followed and wondered what more could happen. 

“Your dad had a massive stroke tonight. I’m sorry. That’s probably what was wrong with him all along. I called Blair and he’s making all of the arrangements. Go home, Jim. Hug your family and show Blair how much you love him.”

Jim looked up at Simon and smiled. “I could do that.”

“I figured as much. Go home. Be happy.” Simon walked him to the parking garage. 

The entire way home Jim wondered if he had seen his dad sooner, maybe he could have figured out something was wrong. He needed Blair to hold him big time. 

Jim walked in the front door and the kids were sleeping. Blair was sitting in their bed, reading. “I’m sorry Jim. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Well Simon thinks that might have caused some of his craziness. I think I’ll take a shower.” Jim started for the bathroom. 

“Jim, come and lay down with me first. Please?”

“Nah, it’ll just take me a bit to get clean.” Jim started into the bathroom and could hear Blair whisper. “Jim, please come here. I need you to hold me.”

Jim walked back out and got on the bed with Blair and held on to him. “I love you, Chief.”

Blair held Jim really tight and said, “I love you more than you’ll ever know.” 

And Jim started to cry. Not loud, just sadly. That kind of cry that Blair hated. The people that didn’t want anyone to know they actually had feelings. “Jim, I love you so much.” And Jim began to cry a little harder. “I’m going to be here forever for you. I’m never leaving you.” Jim started to pull away and he said, “The kids are coming. They’re upset.”

“They’ll see their daddy is crying. It’s all right Jim.” And Jim went back to crying and had two children hanging on to him now too. After about an hour they were all sleeping but Blair. Now it was his turn to cry. He needed to mourn the loss of his lover’s parent and the children’s Grandparent. He also needed to mourn the loss of his old Jim. 

Blair looked over and Jim smiled at him and said, “I won’t change. I love you Blair. More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.”

“Thank you.” Blair went into Jim’s arms this time and sobbed quietly. 

“Chief, let me put our babies in bed.” Jim took them one at a time and then came in and shut the door and locked it. 

“Jim, what are you doing?”

“I want you to fuck me into next week.”

“I could probably do that.” Blair laughed as he got the things out to get Jim ready. 

When Blair finally entered Jim, they both moaned with longing. “Come on Chief. Fuck me hard. Show me who I belong to.”

Blair started fucking Jim very hard and it felt wonderful. “Jim, I’m not going to last too much longer.”

Jim stroked his own cock and came with a howl and Blair followed suit. Blair got up and got all of the cleaning supplies and cleaned Jim off. He also cleaned the bed off. “Lay down, big man. I’ll unlock the door and we can sleep now.”

And they did for about two hours. Jade was staring at Jim and he said, “Jadey, what do you want?”

“I want you, Daddy. I want you.” She had little tears rolling down her cheeks and Jim was heartbroken. He pulled her into bed and she fell right to sleep in Jim’s arms. 

About two hours later, he woke up and said, “What are you doing, Jade?”

“I never said I wunt look at it. I just said I wunt touch it.” Jade was sitting there watching Jim’s dick, which didn’t make him too comfortable. 

“How long have you been watching Jade?”

“A long time. And I still like them penises. I sure wish I could get me one.”

“Well you can’t.”

“I know. I know. You don’t have to keep telling me. You’ll never love me as much as Drake.”

“Jade, penises don’t have anything to do with how much a person is loved.” Jim kissed her cheek and she smiled. 

“So you might love me more?”

“No, I’m going to love you both the same. Now can we sleep some more?” Jim snuggled in the bed next to her and they fell back to sleep. 

Blair got up and made breakfast for he and Drake. Jim was still sleeping with Jade. 

All of a sudden, Blair heard Jim yell at Jade and she came running into the kitchen and hid behind Blair. “Poppy, I couldn’t help it. It was just sitting there.”

Jim put some jeans on and said, “Come here.”

Jade started to cry like Jim had beat her. “I’m sorry Daddy. I’m sorry.”

“Jade, you can’t sleep with me ever again.” Jim shouted. 

Jade cried all the way into her bedroom. Blair got up and went in to her room and shut the door. 

“Daddy, did Jade touch you again?” Drake asked. 

“Yeah. And I asked her not to.”

“But Daddy, she’s just a baby.” Drake started to cry. 

Jim called him over and he hugged him and said, “Okay, I’ll talk to her later.”

“Talk to her now Daddy. Before she wants to move.” Drake was sobbing. 

Jim picked Drake up and walked into Jade’s room. 

“Jade, I’m sorry that I yelled at you. But I don’t want you to touch my penis. You have to learn. But you can sleep with us again if you have a nightmare. Just don’t touch it. Okay?” Jim had big tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry daddy. I just couldn’t help it. It’s a nice one. Isn’t it Poppy?”

“Yes, it is. But it’s just his and mine. Not yours.” Blair added. 

“Jade we don’t have to move do we?” Drake asked and Blair looked at him, as if he’d lost his mind. 

“Well it seems that when Jade gets upset, Drake thinks they’ll have to move.” Jim said quietly to Blair. 

“Drake, you’re stuck with us.” Blair hugged him hard. 

“Good. I like being stuck with you.” Drake hugged just as hard.

“And Daddy is going to start sleeping with underwear on so that Jade won’t see too much.” Blair suggested. 

Jim looked at the man in the mirror and knew he would have to tell the kids about their Grandfather, but that was all right. He could handle it now. He had to start doing things right with Jade and Drake. He didn’t want to fuck up their life. 

Blair came into the mirror view and said, “You’re doing fine Jim. Don’t start doubting yourself. I love you and the kids love you.”

“Thank you for being in my life, Blair.” 

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, man.”

In the coming months, Jim and Blair would find out that life can be hard, but it can also rock. These boys love those stones.


	29. Sullivan's Pub Part 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious and Fun with the whole gang.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 29  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/04/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I should write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: This one is mostly fun. Read it and see. 

Summary: Serious and Fun with the whole gang. 

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 29  
Patt

 

Drinks were being served and laughter could be heard from each and every member of Major Crime. They hadn’t even started the Survey and were already having a good time. 

Jim finally walked into the Pub, late as usual and sat down. “Sorry Chief. It took longer than they said.”

“Connor, why don’t you start.” Blair called out. 

Okay, this one is two or three into one. First up is The Top 10 Embarrassing Ways to Die. I want you to say if you agree, disagree or if you think it’s funnier than hell.

Connor: 10)In your sleep, wearing your Superman Jammies.

Blair: Does anyone actually wear Jammies?

Joel: I don’t.

Jim: I don’t either.

Simon: This one pretty dumb unless Dan wears them. If that would be the case, sorry. 

Dan: (Laughing) No, I wear, I’m not saying.

Sam: He wears nothing. And he looks fantastic in nothing.

Dan: (blushing) So does she. 

Simon: I wear boxers.

Sully: But you look damn good in them honey. 

Jim: I wear boxers too. I used to sleep in the nude, but then Jade became obsessed with my penis, so I sleep with boxers on. 

Everyone laughed at that. 

Blair: I sleep in them too. 

Rafe: I sleep in Jammies.

Brown: (howling) He does not. He sleeps in the nude. 

Rafe: Speaking of penises, is she off that now?

Blair: Not really. She watches Jim all the time. And you can see she wants to cop a feel big time. But she’s been good. 

Jim: I didn’t even notice that.

Blair: Well you’ve been gone a lot. 

Jim: Chief, it’s work. 

Blair: Whatever. Let’s get this thing going.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 9)Paper Cut.

Rafe: Wouldn’t that be embarrassing for the family left behind? 

Brown: How thoughtful, Bri. (Laughing)

Simon: I agree this would be embarrassing. 

Joel: Agreed. 

Jim: Agreed. 

Blair: Well you wouldn’t be getting a paper cut would you? You have a partner doing all of your paperwork. 

Jim: Chief, can it.

Simon: Did I miss something? I also think a paper cut would be embarrassing. 

Sully: I think Blair is upset with Jim. 

Blair: Ya think?

Simon: Watch it Sandburg.

Dan: Well I want to know why you’re mad. 

Sam: Honey, we shouldn’t ask right now. We’ll ask later. 

Connor: Good one, Sam. 

Joel: Jim, are you working too many hours with Vice?

Dan: Vice? That’s what you’re working?

Jim: It would be so nice if I had a personal life that was fucking personal.

Rafe: Well give it up. It’s not going to happen. This group takes over. 

Brown: Which isn’t a bad thing, Ellison.

Jim: I love all of you. But I’m tired and grouchy and I’d like to be home with Blair, but noooooooo, instead we’re here. 

Joel: So Jim, do you get any paper cuts in Vice?

Jim: Fuck you. 

Everyone was quiet waiting to see who would say I’m sorry first. They would have bet on it but Jim’s a Sentinel, so it’s hard to whisper with him at the table. 

Jim: Joel, I’m sorry.

Rafe: I knew it. The wuss gave in again.

Blair: Shut up, Rafe.

Simon: This might be a good time to move on, Conner. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 8)Getting hit by a car...while streaking on the freeway.

Blair: Oh god, this would happen to me. Seriously. My life is like a friggin accident waiting to happen.

Jim: You don’t like your fucking life?

Simon: Let’s see if we can get through this without a fight.

Sully: Man, talk about boring. 

Sam: So Jim, since none of us would get hit by a car while streaking, tell us about the job in Vice. What’s going on?

Simon: Jim can’t talk about it. 

Joel: Undercover, Jim?

Blair: No, he’s never under the covers anymore. 

Jim: Knock it off Chief.

Blair: Honest to god, Drake woke up today and said, “So we only have one dad now, right?”

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. Jim jumped up and walked into the kitchen, because he was fucking sick of the restroom. 

Connor: Well I guess I’ll go and get him.

Blair: Leave him. Who fucking cares?

Simon: Sandburg he’s doing his job.

Blair: No, you made him do this job. He didn’t want to. And now I’m raising children alone.

Connor walked into the kitchen and found Jim leaning against the wall. 

“Hey hot shot. Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m just extremely moody lately. I know it sounds dumb, but I miss my dad. It’s only been a month since his funeral and now I have to be away from Blair all the time. I miss our kids so much.” Jim never opened his eyes the entire time. 

“Jim, Blair misses you too. He gets teary eyed at work all the time when he tells stories about the kids because you’re not there to hear them. He loves you so much.” Megan put her arms around Jim and Jim moved his around her. 

“Then why is he trying to piss me off?”

“Because he thinks if you’re not there anymore it’ll be easier.”

“He wants to break up?” Jim opened his eyes for that.

“I think so.” Megan tried to stay calm for both of them. 

“What should I do?” Jim asked. 

“Take him to the parking lot and suck him like you never have before. Then come back in and he’ll be a new man.”

“Will do, Captain.” Jim leaned down and gave her a kiss. 

They walked back into the room and Jim walked over to Blair and yanked him out of his chair. “What? What are you doing?” Jim proceeded to drag his partner out to the parking lot, with Blair kicking and screaming, until he shoved him in the SUV. 

Everyone was watching out the window and Simon said, “Oh shit, he’s not going to suck him off in the parking lot is he?”

Sully laughed and said, “I think that’s a yes. Oh my god, how hot is this? Who would have thought it would be so much fun watching your friends have sex. God, I hope they do more.”

“Get over to that table and sit down.” Simon said laughing. 

Everyone sat down but they all wished they were still watching. 

“I need to take some instructions from Jim. He seems really good at that.” Sam teased. 

“We could invite him over tonight and he could show you on me.” Dan laughed even harder when he saw the look on Simon’s face. 

Jim and Blair walked into the Pub and sat down and everyone burst out laughing. 

“Hey, a guy has to have his man now and then.” Blair teased them back. 

Simon: Connor, why don’t we move on now. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 7)Heart attack while line dancing.

Rafe: Hey, what’s wrong with line dancing?

Everyone groaned. 

Brown: See Bri, they all agree. 

Blair: This one’s just dumb. I mean so what if you line dance. Doesn’t mean you deserve to be dead.

Jim: Chief, that’s not what they were saying at all.

Blair: Work with me Jim, or you’ll have a hard on for the rest of your life. 

Jim: Line Dancers don’t deserve to die. 

Rafe: Exactly. 

Sully: But that’s not the point. 

Simon: Don’t even get into this.

Joel: I like line dancing. 

Rafe: You’re kidding? Why don’t we go as a foursome some night. 

Joel: God, you’re easy. 

Rafe: Fuck you, Joel. 

Dan: I like to dance. 

Rafe: Line Dance. 

Dan: Oh no, I’d rather be found dead on a dance floor. 

Rafe: Fuck you, Dan. 

Dan: You better ask the boss. 

Sam: You’re all such a riot. 

Simon: Good time to move on, Connor. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 6)During sex...with a farm animal.

Blair: OH god, would that be too much? 

Jim: I think so. 

Connor: Has anyone ever met anyone that did it with a farm animal?

Joel: I don’t think so. 

Blair: I knew a guy in college that was hung like a horse. So big that he had to take trips to the farm. 

Jim: You’re just making that up. 

Blair: I’m serious. 

Simon: So what did he fuck?

Blair: The ducks. They were the easiest to catch and hold on to. 

Jim: You are so full of shit.

Blair: His name was Fred. And we used to sing a song about Fred Fucks the ducks. God, we’d laugh and laugh. 

Simon: Jim, you’re right, he’s full of shit. 

Sully: Blair tell me really. Did you know someone like this?

Blair: Okay, the real story isn’t near as cool. There was this guy who wanted to belong so badly. Anyhow they brought a sheep into the dorm and he had to fuck it in front of everyone. So he did. What’s weird is he was taking his sweet time, almost like he was really enjoying it. And when he came he screamed “Jim”. You guys are so easy. 

Jim: Very funny Chief. 

Connor: So none of us know anyone?

Sully: I met someone once that had to do that trip to the farm now and then. 

Simon: Why, just find a woman that would want you that big.

Sully: He looked, Simon. 

Simon: Well he didn’t look hard enough. 

Sully: Easy for you to say. 

Simon: Please don’t tell me you used to go with him?

Sully: Okay. 

Simon: Oh fuck. 

Sully: He did that many, many times. 

Jim: What did he fuck?

Sully: The donkey. 

Jim, Joel, Simon, Dan, Blair, Rafe and Brown: The Donkey????

Sully: Yes, he wanted a real piece of ass. 

Simon: I should have seen it coming. God, you’ve been warped by our friends. 

Jim: Good one Sully. (Laughing his ass off.)

Connor: I really did know someone that was so big, he could never do it.

Jim: So he went to the farm?

Connor: No, I went to one of the sex shops and got him a portable handy dandy cunt and asshole. He could use it like you would not believe. 

Jim: And this is true?

Connor: Of course it is. I mean I don’t have to make up a Fred name. My friend has a name. 

Blair: What’s his name? 

Connor: Joel. Oops. 

Joel: I should have warned ya. 

Simon: Could we move on?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 5)Getting hit by a car while wearing your "Urkel" Halloween costume.

Jim: (falls out of his chair laughing.) Good one, Connor. 

Blair: Who is Urkel.

Joel, Jim and Simon: You have to work all weekend. 

Blair: What?

Rafe: I know who he is, but I wouldn’t have been caught dead wearing that costume. 

Brown: Bri, that’s just it, you would have been dead. 

Everyone is laughing hard by this time. 

Simon: Stupid one. Let’s move on. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 4)Heart attack while simulating the move and wearing the clothes that your favorite professional wrestler did.

Blair: Jim always does the Rock moves on me. So if he died that way it wouldn’t be bad at all. 

Jim: I’m going to Rock you. 

Blair: See? Isn’t he sexy? 

Simon: I think he means to stone you to death. 

Sully: What a terrible thing to say, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Everyone cracks up. 

Simon: Tell them I don’t act like him. 

Sully: apologize to Blair. 

Simon: Sorry Sandburg.

Blair: It’s no biggy. Besides I love Stone cold. 

Simon: Grrrrrrrr.

Sam: Dan likes to put the outfits on and look like Hulk Hogan. 

Dan: I do. 

Sam: He does. And man can he fill out the outfit. 

Dan: I do. 

Sam: He does. And boy can he make the moves. 

Dan: I do. 

Sam: He does. Now I’ve made myself horny. 

Connor: You’re a riot. 

Rafe: We couldn’t get much further off the subject if we tried. 

Brown: Oh you don’t want me to tell them about your wrestling moves that you use on me?

Rafe: No. 

Jim: I want to hear, Brown. 

Blair: Me too. 

Rafe: If he tells you anything, I won’t ever use them again.

Brown: Shit… Well so much for that, guys.

Joel: I don’t use wrestling moves on Meggie, but she does do Karate on me. And it turns me on like you wouldn’t believe. 

Connor: I do. 

Simon: I think this would be a good time to move on.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 3)In your sleep, in your favorite chair with a Pauly Shore movie in the VCR.

 

Blair: Hey, I like Pauly Shore. 

Jim: Well then maybe this will be the way you go. 

Simon: I hate that guy. 

Sully: Do I even know who he is?

Blair: He was in Son-in-law.

Sully: Oh, I love that guy. He’s a riot. 

Simon: It’s a cross I’ll have to bear. 

Sully: You better watch it buddy, or I’ll stick that cross up where the sun don’t shine.

Connor: Whoa. Don’t piss Sully off. 

Dan: I like Pauly Shore. 

Sam: The question is, would you have been embarrassed to be found dead watching one of his movies.

Dan: No. 

Sam: I didn’t think so. 

Joel: I don’t know who he is. But that wouldn’t bother me. To go while watching a movie. Wow, how great is that?

Jim: Only you would want to plan the way you go. 

Blair: I do too. Sometimes Joel and I discuss this. 

Jim leaned into Blair and gave him a kiss. Blair whispered something and the two of them got up. 

Jim: We’ll be back. Just continue. 

As soon as the two men got out the door, Sully ran up to the window and said, “Hot damn Jim’s getting lucky this time.”

“Sully, get away from there.” Simon said trying not to laugh, but not really succeeding. 

“Oh wow, Jim is much more animated than Blair is.” Sully called over to their friends. 

Megan and Sam came to watch too. The men didn’t want to even know they were out there.

“He must be making him feel so fucking good. Look at our uptight Jim? He looks pretty fucking loose.” Connor laughed. 

“Is anyone else getting turned on by this?” Sam asked in a hushed tone. 

“Yes, big time.” Sully answered. 

“Oh you can tell he’s getting close. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Look at his face.” Connor said whispering. 

“Okay, back to work girls. Business as usual. Too bad we’re all fucking horny.” Connor said as they walked back to the table. 

“Having fun, Meggie?”

“No, I want you to do something for me. I’m so horny I’m ready to die.” Connor pulled Joel up and he said “Come on.”

They got into their SUV and Joel pulled her jeans and panties off and proceeded to get between her legs and lick and suck until she was howling. 

Jim and Blair were getting ready to go back in when Jim saw Joel going down on Connor. He stopped and watched. 

Blair whispered, “Jim, those are our friends. We can’t watch them.”

“She was watching us from the window.” Jim still hadn’t taken his eyes off of her. 

“In that case we can peep a little.” 

Joel move down farther and deeper and began to eat her out like there was no tomorrow. When she came she howled. Then Joel took his cock out of his pants and slid into her. 

“Okay, enough watching.” Jim said laughing. 

Blair glanced over and saw the hard on that Jim was sporting and wondered which one gave it to him. 

Sam walked up to them and said, “Watching Connor?”

“For a little while.” Jim smiled. 

“Who would have thought it would make you so hot to see your friends fuck?” Sam giggled. “Could one of you talk Dan into taking care of me down in the car?”

“Sure.” Jim walked over to Dan and asked to see him. Dan followed Jim into the restroom that Jim hated so much and Jim said, “I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I think you need to go and suck your wife, unless you want to fuck her. I can smell her like you wouldn’t believe. She wants you bad.”

“Okay, I want her too.” Dan was off like a rocket. 

They all went to the window and watched Sam get fucked. And no one moved, they all watched. Simon pulled Sully close and said, “You’re next.”

“Simon, you know the doctor said we can’t have intercourse.”

“Who said anything about that. I’m going to make you come until you scream.”

“Oh goody.” Sully was hoping that Dan and Sam hurried up. 

Jim stood away from the window and said, “Might want to move now.” And everyone did. 

Simon took Sully down as Sam and Dan were coming up. “Our turn.” Sully said smiling. 

“Oh shit, were you all watching?” Dan said. 

“Yes, and now you get to watch me and Simon.”

Sam and Dan both ran into the building to watch. 

Jim: What do you suppose regular people do when they go out?

Blair: This. They just don’t share it with you. 

Connor: Want to start the next one or watch Sully and Simon some more. 

Rafe: Oh my god, we got Simon butt in the front seat. 

Brown: I think she took sucking off lessons from Jim and Blair. Hell I want to take them from you guys. 

Joel: Tell us when he comes so we can go and sit down. 

Connor: I’m telling ya, I’m calling our friends over every time we want to do something. I’m hot for you baby. 

Jim: Run, he just came and he’s dressing in record time. 

They all sat around the table talking and Simon and Sully walked in and Simon said, “You best not have been watching the two of us in the car.”

Jim: Simon, we were only watching your wife. Can we get back to the questions now?

Simon: Smartass. Connor, move this along. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 2)At your computer while visiting a web page other than THE FUNNY BONE!

Brown: I don’t even get this one. 

Rafe: You would if you hung out at The Funny Bone. 

Jim: I say we move on. 

Simon: Hey, that’s my job. 

Jim: Then do it. 

Simon: Move this baby along.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 1)In a fire, caused by a shortage in "The Clapper"

Jim: I don’t get this one. 

Joel: Me either. 

Dan: Me either. 

Simon: I don’t even care. 

Blair: I kind of get it, but it sucks. 

Sam: I think it’s funny. 

Sully: I clap for Simon every time he comes.

Simon: Sully, why do you do that? These people work for me. 

Sully: Do you think that they think you never come?

Simon: I was hoping. 

Jim: (Howling) Simon, knock it off. And don’t yell at that gorgeous wife of yours. 

Sully: Thank you, Jim.

Blair: Jim loves to kiss up to the wives. 

Jim pulled Blair into his arms and kissed him instead of fighting with him. 

Simon: Ready to move on, Connor?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Connor: Top Ten Reasons God Created Women. 10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions. 

Blair: Jim, you know this is true.

Jim: Not so. You’re the one that got us lost that time. Don’t you remember?

Simon: It’s not true in our household. 

Sully: True in ours, but Simon would never admit to it.

Everyone laughs. Simon scowls. 

Dan: I’ll admit to it. I’m always lost. Even in the grocery store. 

Sam: He’s so cute, he calls on his cell so I can talk him out of the store. 

Everyone roars with laughter. 

Rafe: Well it’s not true for me. I keep a map handy at all times. 

Brown: But if you can’t find something, what do you do?

Rafe: If you drive around long enough it shows up. 

Again, there is much laughter heard from all. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Men don't want to see what's ON television, they want to see WHAT ELSE is on!) 

Blair: Boy is this one true for Jim. 

Jim: It is. 

Sully: This one is Simon. 

Simon: It is. 

Sam: This ones me. 

Dan: It is. 

Joel: Meggie and I each have our own control. We fight over changing the stations. It entertains Miss Ellie. 

Jim: That’s a cute idea. I must try that with Ellie when she’s at our house. 

Rafe: I’m in charge of the remote, so I don’t need no stinking woman. 

Brown: No, he needs me. “Henry, have you seen my remote? I can’t find it anywhere and I don’t want to miss seeing the game.” Sound familiar, hot shot?

Blair howls with laughter.

Rafe: Jim does that too?

Jim: (Laughing) Yup, that would be me. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him. 

Jim: Now this is Blair. 

Blair: What do you mean?

Jim: I do all of our clothing shopping. For the kids, me and for you. Right? 

Blair: I see. Yes, you do. And you do a really good job Daddy. (Smiling)

Jim: God, I miss our kids.

Sully: You’re too sweet. When we have ours, will you want her over too?

Simon: If they’re smart they’ll run. 

Sully: (glaring) I would like a moment off now and then. 

Jim: Sure, we love all babies. And Rafe and Brown have little Lancy to entertain now. So you’ll have tons of baby-sitters. 

Dan: Are you writing down their numbers, Sam? 

Sam: Already have them. 

Connor: Speaking of that. Jim can you watch Ellie on Sunday? I know that’s your dad day with just the kids, but I have to make up a work day and Joel is going on assignment. 

Jim: That’s fine. Bring her at 7:00?

Connor: Thank you. Blair is that all right with you?

Blair: Well I’m going to be working with you, so it’s dandy with me. (laughing)

Jim: How is Miss Ellie?

Joel: She’s so cute. And starting to talk and walk. Keeping us on our toes. 

Jim: Any new pictures cuz I brought new pictures of Jade and Drake for everyone. I also brought new ones for your desks at work. 

Connor: Geeze, you’re good. 

Blair: Tell me about it. He’s way too efficient.

Jim handed out the pictures and everyone ooh’ed and ah’ed over both of the kids. 

Connor: Blair, tell us anything new about the kids. We know that Jim hasn’t seen them, but what’s happening with them?

Blair: Okay first of all Jade informs me that she really needs to just look at Daddy’s penis. It would help her sleep. Jim got her a black panther to rub when she feels the need to rub something and you’ll hear her say, “You’re real nice and soft, but you’re not as good as my daddy.” I can’t stand it when she does that. Makes me laugh my ass off. Drake came into bed with me the other morning and said, “I really miss my Daddy. Did he move?” And he cried for like an hour. It’s been hard on them. 

Everyone looked over at Jim and could see he was on the verge of tears. Joel stood up and “Hey Jim, could I ask you a favor?”

Jim stood up not wanting to leave Blair, “I’ll be right over there Chief.” Jim followed Joel into the hallway and before long they all saw Joel hold Jim in his arms. 

“Isn’t he the most loving man?” Connor asked about her Joel. 

“Yes, he is. Jim needed that hug. I knew he would be upset about missing the kids.” Blair smiled with tears in his eyes too. 

“Oh don’t let anyone fool you, he misses you more than life itself.” Sully said quietly. 

“Ya think?” Blair asked. 

“Duh.” Sam said laughing. “He’s wild about you.”

Rafe turned to Blair and said, “He’s so unhappy with this shit he’s on.”

“I know.” Blair nodded. 

“Sandburg, I’ll see about getting him off it tomorrow.” Simon offered. 

“No, he wouldn’t want anything special.” Blair wiped his eyes when he saw Joel coming back. 

Jim sat down next to Blair and looked at him and said, “Come here.”

Blair sat on his lap, turned to face him and Jim held on for dear life. 

Blair whispered, “I love you big man. I love you so much.”

Jim decided they needed to do something, so he said, “Rafe and Brown. How is little Lancy doing?”

“She’s doing great. She found out that she’s two months older than Drake and she’s never going to let him hear the end of it.” Rafe said laughing. 

Simon asked, “Please tell me she doesn’t take showers with you guys.”

“Well she does. She knows what a penis is. She knows it’s not to touch. And if she wants a shower with one of us, she’s going to have to deal with it.” Brown said, sounding so darn grown up that Blair even smiled. 

“I’m so glad it’s working out. Who does she stay with after school?” Sully asked. 

“The same lady that Jade and Drake go to. We asked Jim and Blair if that was all right and they didn’t mind. She loves Drake. She loves Jade too, but she bosses Jade a little too much. We’re working on that now.” Rafe said. 

“I’m so happy that you guys have your little one. They’re great, aren’t they?” Blair asked sitting in his own chair now. 

“They sure are. Thanks for the push Jim.” Rafe said softly. No one else even heard. 

“Are we going to go back to this damn thing or what?” Simon bellowed. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself. 

Jim: Now this is totally true. 

Blair: It is. 

Connor: This is true. 

Joel: It is. 

Rafe: It’s true. 

Brown: It is. 

Sully: It’s true here too.

Simon: I hate this one. 

Sam: (laughing) It’s true at our house too.

Dan: It is. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night. 

Jim: Now this is so untrue. I always remember garbage night. Don’t I? 

Blair: He does, but if he’s gone or out of town, it doesn’t get taken out. 

Jim: Oh fuck. You forgot?

Blair: You mad?

Jim: No. (Leans in and kisses Blair softly.)

Rafe: I don’t know how to tell you this, Jim, but he works you big time. 

Jim: And? The point is?

Rafe: Nothing. 

Brown: I always take the trash out. 

Simon: So do I. 

Dan: Me too. 

Sully: I don’t even know where it is. 

Sam: Neither do I. 

Connor: Same here. 

Blair: Well I know where it is. I just forget to take out to the street on the right day. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing. 

Joel: Agreed. 

Jim: Agreed. 

Blair: Agreed. 

Rafe: Agreed.

Simon: Agreed.

Dan: Agreed. 

Brown: Agreed. 

Sully: Wow, one they all agreed on. Let’s hear it for the boys. (and the girls broke out into song.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he put his tools. 

Blair: Well this wouldn’t be Jim. He knows where everything is.

Jim: I do. 

Sully: This wouldn’t be Simon either. He has a great tool room. 

Simon: Workroom, honey, workroom. 

Rafe: I don’t know much about tools, but Henry has a really nice…

Henry leaned in and kissed him to shut him up. 

Rafe: I was just going to say, your toolbox is nice.

Brown: Oh. 

Dan: I have a great workroom, also. 

Sam: He has everything. 

Jim: Well if I need help doing repairs I know who to call. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 3. The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden. 

 

Jim: This ones dumb. 

Blair: I think so too. 

Sully: I think it makes sense. 

Simon: I would not blame you for something. 

Sam: Would you Dan?

Dan: I don’t think so. You didn’t give me enough time to think. 

Joel: I’ve never blamed Meggie. 

Rafe: Well I’ve blamed Brown tons. 

Brown: And I’ve blamed Rafe many times. 

Blair: You’ve never blamed me in the bullpen when I wasn’t in there?

Jim: That’s different. 

Simon: I hate this survey. It sucks. Move on. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!" 

Jim: I believe this. 

Blair: And I for one am damn glad. (Kisses Jim soundly.)

Sully: I believe this too. 

Simon: Well I think agree. 

Dan: I know I do. 

Sam: I love being with you. (leans in and kisses him.)

Connor: Joel, I’m glad you didn’t want to be alone either. 

Joel: And I’m glad you let me be your other half. 

Rafe: I agree with this one. 

Brown: I’m no longer lonely, Bri. I love you. (leans in for a kiss.) 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that."

Jim: Now this is wrong. Just flat out wrong. 

Blair: No lie. 

Joel: Can’t get much better than us, right guys?

Rafe: Nope, too hard to do. 

Brown: Besides we love these penises. 

Jim: It’s no damn wonder that poor little Jade wants one so bad. 

Dan: I think that God would never say this about something he created. 

Jim: Oh wow. So you’re like real religious?

Dan: No, not at all. 

Jim: Fuck you, Dan. 

Dan: Not tonight, Jim. 

Connor: That was it guys. 

Jim and Blair both stood up quickly and Jim said, “We’re out of here. I get to sleep at home for the first time in ten days. Talk to you all later.”

“Night everyone.” Blair called out as Jim drug him out of the Pub. 

“Goodnight everyone.” Sully and Simon called out and walked out to the parking lot. 

“Sully, is that Jim?”

“Holy shit.”

Simon walked over to the SUV and said, “Ellison.” Jim jumped up and they could see Blair lying naked below him. “Go home and fuck him properly. Not in the parking lot.”

“Yes, sir.” Jim pulled Blair’s jeans up and got into the drivers seat. As they left the parking lot, both men started laughing. 

“Busted by our boss.” Blair said laughing. 

Inside, every had said goodbye and were finding their vehicles. It had been a good night. No problems to speak of and Jim and Blair were doing all right. Life was indeed good. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 29


	30. The Fall of Fortner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember the man that attacked Jim while he was   
> a young serviceman? Well he's not only back in Jim's   
> thoughts, he's back in Jim's life. What will he do and   
> how will he handle it?

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 30  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B   
Status: Complete  
Date: 02/05/03  
Category: Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming   
here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera.   
Well that's what I've been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: Very serious folks. Stormwolf Dawn helped   
me write this. 

Summary: Remember the man that attacked Jim while he was   
a young serviceman? Well he's not only back in Jim's   
thoughts, he's back in Jim's life. What will he do and   
how will he handle it? 

Warnings: m/m N/C Implied NC-17   
======================================================

 

Sullivan's Pub Part 30  
Patt and Stormwolf Dawn

 

The Fall of Fortner

Connor was busy getting everything ready for the survey, while Joel played with   
Miss Ellie. Their baby-sitter had called and canceled. Joel didn't have the heart   
to tell Megan to cancel, so they were there. 

Everyone started walking in and sitting down. The laughter and talking began   
right away. Jim went right over to Joel and took Miss Ellie. But Connor and Joel   
noticed that now Blair didn't mind at all. He even smiled and rubbed his back as   
he walked away. 

Connor: Anyone want to have some questions?

Simon: Like we have a choice.

Connor: You can leave. 

Simon: I was teasing Connor. 

Connor: Okay, well don't do that too much. Everyone will think you have a sense   
of humor.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Things that remind you that it's great to be a guy.1. Your last name   
stays put. 

Blair: This is true. 

Jim: Agreed. 

Joel: I think we're all going to agree on this one. 

Dan: I was thinking of changing mine to Sullivan but thought it   
might be confusing for Sully. 

Sully: Oh shut up. 

Simon: This one's a given. We could move on, Connor.

Rafe: We didn't answer. 

Brown: Yeah. 

Simon: So are you going to change your last names?

Rafe: No, that's why it's great to be a guy. 

Simon: Connor move this baby along.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Connor: 2. The garage is all yours. 

Simon: True. 

Jim: True. 

Blair: I could care less. 

Brown: Me either. 

Rafe: True. 

Dan: True. 

Joel: I love my garage. 

Sully: I think we women will just sit back and let you guys do this   
one. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 3. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 

Blair: Now how did the wedding get planned Jim?

Jim: Wedding fairies?

Rafe: (spitting out his beer) Good one, Ellison. 

Simon: I just don't have it in me to take care of those things.

Blair: But Sully does?

Simon: Point taken. I'll see if I can help with things. Geeze. 

Brown: Well Bri takes care of everything so well, that I sometimes   
take advantage of him.

Dan: I am a born planner, so I've always helped with anything in our   
lives. Well hopefully anyhow. (Smiling at Sam and kisses her)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 4. Chocolate is just another snack. 

Jim: Isn't it? 

Blair: (glaring) No. 

Simon: I think it is too Jim. 

Dan: Me too. 

Brown: Me three. 

Rafe: You guys are hopeless. Empty calories. 

Joel: We don't care. It's a snack. 

Jim: good one Joel. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 5. You can be president. 

Jim: Wait a minute, we could have a woman president. 

Blair: Would you want someone in charge of weapons that has PMS?

Dan: That's true. 

Simon: I never thought of that. 

Joel: I would vote for a woman, and not because my wife is sending   
nasty looks my way. 

Rafe: A woman could easily be president. There are pills for PMS   
symptoms. 

Brown: If Bri says it, it's true. 

Blair: Brown, you just want sex. 

Brown: And like you don't? 

Blair: Of course I do. But I was right. 

Jim: You're not getting any if you keep this up. 

Blair: Jim, you have to keep it up to get any. 

Everyone roars with laughter. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: We're going to cut down to some of the other ones. 14.   
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. 

Jim: Now that's not true. I've had people stare at my chest plenty. 

Blair: Jim, they just want to know if you're as buff as you look. 

Jim: They do not. 

Blair: People ask me all the time what you look like naked. 

Jim: Fuck. You don't tell them anything do you?

Blair: For the right amount of money I do. 

Jim pulled Blair into his arms and kissed him. Shocking everyone.   
They expected to see him get angry or something. But he had   
gotten less angry in the last few months. 

Rafe: I've never had mine stared at. 

Blair: That's because they've all asked me what you look like. 

Rafe: Fuck you. 

Simon: I have never stared at a woman's chest. 

Blair: You got to be shitting me?

Jim: Why? You stare at a lot of chests?

Blair: I used to. 

Joel: I have to admit that I stared at Meggie's many a time. And   
still do. 

Rafe: I do too, Joel. 

Joel: Very funny, Rafe. 

Brown: Well I've never stared at a woman's chest. 

Jim: Neither have I.

Blair: Jim, that is such a fucking lie. 

Jim: Did you hear your Uncle? He's being naughty, Bubby. (Ellie   
started slapping Jim's face and licking his nose.)

Connor: Jim, you don't have to let her do that stuff to you.

Blair: He likes it Connor. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 18. You know stuff about tanks.

Jim: This is true. 

Connor: Wait what about the tank drivers that are female?

Jim: Are they here tonight? I don't think so. 

Blair: I don't know a damn thing about Tanks. 

Brown: I know about one Tank. He's in a book I'm reading. Does   
that count?

Rafe: Henry, don't tell them what you're reading. 

Blair: I love that book. I love that series, H. Have you read all   
eight?

Brown: No, she has eight out?

Simon: Excuse me, but we're in the middle of a survey. If you want   
to talk, do it on your own time.

Joel: Maybe they could tell me about the books after the survey. 

Simon: We're supposed to be talking what Men know about tanks.   
Damnit. 

Joel: I know nothing about them. 

Brown: I know nothing about the tanks you drive. 

Rafe: I'm going to show you Tank. 

Jim: What does that mean?

Rafe: He's a character in one of Janet Evanovich's stories. And H's   
totally in love with him. 

Jim: Gotcha. We have the series, I just have to read them. 

Dan: They don't listen do they Simon?

Simon: Well I'm glad someone else noticed. 

Dan: Where can I get all of the books, guys.

Simon: I give up. 

They all high fived each other and laughed. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 

Blair: God, this one's true in our house. 

Brown: Bri packs like Ellison. 

Jim: Do you hear that Miss Ellie? Uncle Blair and Uncle Henry love   
the way I pack. 

Rafe: I don't want to burst your bubble, but they hate the way we   
pack. 

Jim: Is this true, Chief?

Blair: Well, sometimes you're a little anal and not in a good way. 

Simon: I can't pack like this. 

Joel: I can't either, but Meggie can.

Dan: I can pack a bag like Ellison can any day of the week. 

Blair: And you're proud of this?

Dan: Damn tooting. 

Blair: Miss Ellie, we're in the old west. 

Jim: Good, one Uncle Blair. (Miss Elllie crawled back up and chewed   
on Jim's face and blew bubbles.)

"I'm forever blowing bubbles.   
Bubbles in the air.   
Bubbles in your hair.   
Bubbles everywhere. 

I'm forever blowing bubbles.  
Bubbles in the air.  
Bubbles in your hair.   
Bubbles everywhere."

Connor: Jim, that was so sweet. God, you are the sweetest man.   
After my hubby of course. 

Jim: My mom used to sing it to me and Jadey loves when I sing it to   
her at night. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 26. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger   
seat.

Blair: Oh yeah, like this would ever happen. 

Jim: What?

Blair: First of all, I rarely drive. Next you wouldn't shut up if my life   
depended on it. 

Jim: Sorry Chief.

Blair leaned into Jim and kissed Miss Ellie and then kissed Jim. "I'm   
sorry babe." 

Brown: I can do this. 

Rafe: I could never do this. 

Joel: I do it all the time. Meggie doesn't allow me to drive much. 

Simon: Joel, don't tell people that stuff. It'll come back and bite   
you on the butt. 

Joel: So can you do this Simon?

Simon: No. 

Dan: I do it all the time. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Simon's cell phone rang, "Sorry, hold on just a second." Simon takes   
out the phone and opens it, putting it to his ear. "Banks" He said in   
his usual gruff voice. He nods to himself as he listened to the other   
person on the line. "Damn." He whispered finally. 

Simon looked over at Jim and asked, "Are you fit to drive?"

"Yes, sir." Jim answered as he handed Miss Ellie back to Connor.   
He gave her a little kiss before he got up. 

"We've got a body, let's go." Simon stood up putting on his jacket, then he kissed   
Sully on the lips. "Sorry, sweetheart, gotta go." 

"Guess this means the party is over. I'll probably be needed as well." Dan said as   
he stood up.

Dan leaned down for a wonderful kiss with Sam. He knew he was going to be   
getting much more than that tonight. Dan whispered, "I love you."

"Same here, Dan. Be careful." Sam watched her hubby walk away and sat down   
sadly. Being married to a cop was the pits. 

Simon, Jim, Blair, and Dan leave in their respective vehicles, leaving the others   
continue the party for as long as they needed to laugh. Then they would all head   
on home. 

At a park near the waterfront, Jim leaned down, and inspected the body of a   
woman. The body was still fully dressed, and Jim smelled no hint of semen or male   
pheromones. Dan was kneeling on the other side putting on his gloves. "Looks   
like the cause of death is asphyxiation, and the multiple stab wounds to her   
abdomen and chest are post mortem." 

"She's wearing White Shoulders. And she's a near match to the first two victims."   
Jim told Dan who nodded. "Looks like we have another serial killer on your hands,   
Jim."

In Simon's office Jim tossed three files on Simon's desk. "Three women. All   
between the ages of 45 and 55, red hair with gray streaks, green eyes, all choked   
to death by a rope and then stabbed repeatedly in the chest and abdomen. Its a   
serial killer Simon. We have to get him before he strikes again." 

"I know. Unfortunately, I had to inform the FBI, and they are sending an agent   
over." Simon said. 

"Aw come on Simon, I don't need a Fed coming in and mucking up everything."   
The sentinel answered. 

"I'm sorry Jim, but its procedure, you know that. their sending one of their top   
people. A Special Agent Fortner." Simon read off his notes. 

"Fortner?" Jim asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, why do you know him?" 

"No, just sounds like a funny name is all." Jim lied. 

"Yes well he's coming in sometime tomorrow." Simon added. 

Blair was watching Jim and wondered why he looked nervous. Hell, it might be   
because there's a serial killer out there and his job is to find him. 

While they were driving home, Blair asked, "Jim, is anything wrong?"

"Gee Chief, what could be wrong? I mean, we've got a serial killer on our hands   
and the FBI is coming in to fuck it up for us." Jim was very angry. 

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry, Sandburg?"

"Because you're angry and you're calling me Sandburg." Blair didn't look at Jim as   
he talked. 

"No, I'm sorry. I'm nervous about FBI coming in and taking over." Jim pulled into   
their driveway and he stopped Blair before he got out. Jim kissed him with such   
passion that Blair couldn't wait to get inside. 

They walked in the door and Rafe was there. "Linda had to go home, so I stayed   
with Jade and Drake."

"Thanks." Jim said quietly. It was so nice having them so close by. 

Jim walked in and kissed both of the kids on their little heads and then went in to   
take a shower. 

"Room for me?"

"Chief, I'm not in the mood. This whole thing is playing with my brain. I'm sorry."   
Jim saw the look of hurt before the younger man turned away. 

"Shit." Blair got undressed and got into bed. 

When Jim got in bed, Blair moved closer to him. Jim pulled away and said, "I'm not   
in the mood, Sandburg."

Blair took his pillow and an extra blanket and went in and slept with Drake. Jim felt   
like shit, but he also knew he wasn't up to Blair and his 100 questions tonight. 

In the morning Jade walked in and lifted the cover up and said, "Oooh goody   
Daddy, your penis fairy came." Jim looked at the big smile on her face and said,   
"Go get Poppy for me."

Blair walked in and said, "What? I'm making breakfast."

"Come here." Jim ordered and Blair obeyed. Jim pulled him down and kissed him   
with such longing that it was confusing Blair. 

"Can I fuck you, Jim?"

Jim jumped up off the bed and almost ran into the bathroom. "I have to shower."

Blair sat a moment and wondered what in the hell was going on. And would his   
lover ever share anything with him? Jim was acting like he was afraid of him. 

"Poppy, breakfast is going to burn." Drake called from the doorway. 

A naked little Jade ran by and rushed into the shower with Jim. He wasn't   
bothered by her. Blair sighed and walked back into the kitchen. 

When they got them on the bus, Jim turned to Blair and said, "We need to get to   
work early."

"Jim, I was hoping we could talk first."

"Chief, I just need some time to get over these killings. We'll talk tonight. I   
promise." Jim grabbed the keys and walked out the door. Blair knew he wasn't   
going to talk to him tonight. Something happened and something bad. 

The drive to the station was totally silent. Jim looked over at Blair a few times and   
he finally said, "Blair, you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fucking great." 

"Why are you mad at me. Chief, I can't do this right now."

"Don't worry about it. I don't care." Blair got out of the SUV and almost ran for   
the elevator. Jim caught up and said, "You don't care about me?"

"Jim, leave me alone. Go do your big boy work and leave me to the baby stuff."   
Blair stepped onto the lift and Jim walked away. Blair knew that Jim was taking   
the stairs. 

As he got off, Simon said, "Where is Ellison?"

"He's on the way up. He took the stairs." Blair started throwing things off of Jim's   
desk and Simon said, "Sandburg, we have the FBI man here. Let's look   
professional."

"Fuck off." Blair whispered and sat at his desk. Simon just stared at him, because   
Sandburg never talked to him like this. 

"Jim's going to be partnered with Agent Fortner. I just wanted to let you know."   
Simon started to walk away. 

"So like what am I supposed to do all day?" Blair yelled. 

Simon stormed over to Sandburg and growled, "You're going to be working with   
Joel and damn happy to have a fucking job. Stop being a prick."

"Yes sir." Blair shoved things around on his own desk this time. 

Jim walked through and Simon said, "Follow me."

Jim did as he was told and he walked into the room and saw Agent Fortner. Jim   
didn't say a word. His heart was pounding and grateful that Simon couldn't hear   
that. 

"Agent Fortner, this is Detective Ellison." Simon introduced them. 

Fortner put his hand out and Jim took it and they shook hands. But Fortner   
touched his hand in such a way that he knew he was in big trouble. 

"You're going to be working with Fortner until further notice." Simon said quickly. 

"Sir, I'd like to request that Sandburg work with us too."

"Request denied. Now go get the paperwork and get busy." Simon walked out of   
the break room. 

Jim went and got all of the paperwork and went to the conference room that had   
been assigned for this. Fortner was standing leaning against the wall staring at   
Jim with such lust, it made Jim shiver. 

"Want to get to work on this?" Jim asked as he sat down. 

Fortner sat down next to him and put his hand in Jim's lap. "Tell me, do they all   
know about your past?"

"Yes, I told them."

"But not my name, or I'm sure someone would have looked at me oddly." Fortner   
smiled at Jim. 

"No, I never said who you were."

"Why don't you tell them all about us now, Jimmy?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I've always had a thing for your ass. I never got over it."

Jim shivered again and said, "It's not going to be like that this time."

"Yes, it is. Don't even think about fighting me, because it only makes it more   
exciting." Fortner said with an evil look on his face. 

"Let's get some work done here and don't touch me." Jim almost yelled when he   
felt the man's hand go over his cock. 

"We'll touch tonight. Don't you worry."

They went over a bunch of the paperwork and Jim tried to stay professional, but   
he was scared shitless. As soon as the shift was over he flew down the stairs. He   
didn't wait for Blair, or anyone else. 

Blair walked up to Fortner and asked, "Have you seen Detective Ellison?"

"We just finished working, I was going to take him to dinner." Fortner said calmly. 

"We live together and he usually tells me if he's taking the vehicle. Well, I'll look   
around for him."

Jim drove to the baby-sitters and picked up, Jade, Drake and Lancy. When they   
walked in the door, he got them all a snack and then sat them down to read.   
When Blair walked in the door, pissed off, followed by Rafe and Brown, they found   
the four of them sleeping on the sofa. All three of the children were curled around   
Jim. 

"Tell him thank you when he wakes up." Rafe picked Lancy up and Jim jumped   
up. "She wanted to come with us, so I figured what the hell."

"It was nice Jim. Maybe next time you'll tell all of us what's going on with you."   
Brown said as he pushed Rafe out the door. 

"Bye Uncle Jim. Bye Uncle Blair." Lancy said in that sweet sleepy voice. 

Jim woke the other two up and said, "Look who's home."

"Poppy, Poppy. We missed you." Jade said laughing. 

"I missed you too sweetie. Why don't you and Drake go and play so I can talk to   
Daddy."

"You're mad huh, Poppy?" Drake asked looking scared. 

"I'm not mad, I'm just hurt. I'll talk to him and see what he says. Now go and play   
in your rooms I have a little time with Daddy."

As soon as they were in their rooms he turned to Jim and said, "What the fuck is   
going on with you?"

"I had to look at so much death and blood today, that I suddenly had the need to   
see our kids. I couldn't control it. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry." Jim had his head   
hanging down as he spoke. 

"Jim, why are you lying to me?"

"Baby, I'm not. It's a dreadful case. I hate it."

"So you'll actually give me a ride tomorrow?" Blair asked. 

"Actually I need the truck to go to the old sites. You'll need it in case it runs over."   
Jim leaned in and kissed him. 

"I thought maybe it had to do with Fortner asking you out." Blair sounded scared. 

"He didn't ask me out. Where did you hear that?" Now Jim sounded scared. 

"He told me." Blair said. 

"Well he didn't and I sure wouldn't." Jim got up to start dinner. 

"Jim, you're sure there's nothing else wrong?"

"I'm sure Chief. I'm sorry again about today. I was freaking out big time."

There was a knock at the door and Jade opened it up and said, "Go away, you're   
a stranger."

Jim heard laughter, but he also heard it was Fortner. Blair walked to the doorway   
and said, "Come on in. She won't bite."

He walked in and said, "Nice place Sandburg and Ellison. Very nice. Who's kids?"

"They're ours." Blair said proudly. 

"Ellison, you're gay?" Fortner asked looking surprised. 

"Yes, I'm gay." 

"We're gay, Jim." Blair didn't know what was going on, but he didn't like it. Fortner   
seemed like he was going to make a play for Jim. 

"Yes, we are, Chief." Jim leaned down for a kiss, which seemed to calm Blair a bit. 

"What do you want, Fortner?" Jim sneered. 

"Well to tell you the truth, I was going to ask you out for dinner. Sorry, I'll be on my   
way."

"No, stay. I'm sure Jim made enough for everyone." Blair looked in the pot to see   
what Jim made. 

"I'd love to. Thank you." Fortner sat at the table waiting for everyone else to join   
him. 

Drake said, "I don't like you. I don't like the way you make mean faces at my   
Daddy."

"Drake, that's not nice. He's a guest." Blair scolded him. 

"Still don't like him."

Jim had to hide a smile. "So how was school today, Drake?"

"It was good. That darn Lancy won't leave me alone. What should I do?"

"We'll discuss it while we're having your bath tonight. 

"Ellison, Banks said that we could work some on this case tonight." Fortner smiled   
that evil smile that Drake talked about. 

"I've got a family. I'll meet you in the morning." Jim stood his ground.

"Fine, if you want to have to explain it to Captain Banks, that's your business."   
Fortner got up to leave. 

Blair grabbed Jim's arm and said, "Jim, go ahead. I'll take care of the kids tonight.   
Go get some work done."

"Chief, I don't want to."

"Tomorrow, then. Thanks for dinner, Sandburg." And Fortner left. 

Jim picked Drake up and helped him get ready for his bath. Drake told him all   
about pushy Lancy and Jim gave him some pointers. Blair listened at the doorway   
and smiled. This was his old Jim. // Thank god. //

The next week was a fucking nightmare. At home he had Blair whining to him   
because he wasn't acting right. At work he had a man making plays for him every   
chance he got. He didn't know how much more he could handle it. 

A call came in about another woman, sounding a lot like the others. Jim grabbed   
his keys and Fortner said, "I'll ride with you, Ellison."

Everyone was standing there, so he couldn't say that he was afraid of him. He   
couldn't say he hated him. He couldn't beg someone to help him. There was   
nothing to do, but go with him. Jim sighed as he left the bullpen. 

The ride over was very quiet, but once they got there Fortner took a lot of notes   
and they figured out quite a bit. Jim found some good evidence too. 

After everyone left Jim was standing there and said, "What do you think about a   
woman or man, going after their Mother, over and over again?"

"That would fit. Now we just need to figure it out."

"Chances are she didn't die too long ago, because the murders only started two   
months ago." Jim said. "But what if she's not dead, they just wish she was?"

"Okay, that's a good spin too. We'll start looking for something in our records.   
Like maybe childhood abuse by a red-haired Mother." Fortner added. 

"We can work on all of those tomorrow." Jim said as he started to walk off. 

He was grabbed from behind and Fortner was as strong if not stronger than Jim.   
He got him down on the ground and he whispered. "Take your clothes off or I'll   
bruise up your body."

Jim wouldn't, so Fortner forced him to hurry. The Agent was horny as hell. Jim lay   
there naked and shaking. Jim was still fighting him off as he was also hitting the   
larger man. Fortner went down on Jim and started to suck and Jim shook harder. 

"See Jimmy, you love it." He was pointing to Jim's cock. 

Jim shoved him off so hard that Fortner lost his balance and Jim went running for   
the SUV. He knew he left the keys in there. He got in, locked the doors, started it   
up and drove away. 

"Where in the fuck do I go? I'm naked. I'm scared. Where do I go?" Jim   
wondered aloud and that scared him even more. 

Jim found himself in front of Connor and Joel's house. He made sure that no one   
was around and he walked up to the door and rang the bell. 

Connor pulled the door open and looked at Jim and said, "Oh god, come in.   
Come in Jim. I'll take care of you. Joel, please bring me some blankets."

"What's going on? Jim are you all right?" Joel put a blanket over the shaking   
individual. 

"He didn't penetrate me, if that's what you're worrying about." Jim tried to sound   
upbeat, but it wasn't working. 

He still had not moved one inch from the door. He looked as if he wanted to   
sprint, but Connor finally took over. "Joel, could you see that Jim gets a warm   
shower?"

"Sure, come on Jim." Joel led him back to their room. Jim got in the shower once   
Joel was sure he wouldn't burn himself, which made Jim smile. 

He and Megan sat on their bed not saying a word as they heard their good friend   
start to sob. After about ten minutes, Connor asked Joel, "Could you bring him   
out. He can sleep with us tonight?"

"Meggie, what if he was raped."

"Honey bear, he said he wasn't."

"Like he would want to tell anyone that?" Joel looked sternly at his wife. 

"I'll talk to him when you get him out."

Joel brought him out and gave him a tee shirt to wear and some boxers. "Thanks   
Joel."

He laid down and feel asleep right away. When he woke up Simon was sitting   
next to him. 

"Hey." Jim whispered. 

"Jim, I need to know what the hell happened."

"Remember when I told you about my Army Captain that forced himself on me   
over and over again. Well it's Fortner. I tried to work around it sir. I really did. But   
he got my clothing off me tonight and tried to rape me. I got away and drove over   
here." Jim was shaking so hard that it was vibrating the bed. 

"We're going to fill out more paperwork about this. He's going to be called on it.   
But I want to know why you didn't go home." Simon looked into Jim's eyes to let   
him know he wasn't angry. 

"I was naked Simon. I couldn't chance my children seeing me coming in the door   
like that. And I don't even want to tell you what Blair would have done." Jim was   
on the verge of tears, and Simon knew it. 

"Lay back down, Ellison. I'll get you some clothes and let Blair know you're okay."   
Simon walked into the living room and said, "Is it all right if I call Blair over here?"

"Sir, why don't you take him home?" Connor asked. 

"Because he's afraid of what will happen. He doesn't want his kids to see him like   
this. He's fucked up big time." Simon looked at them for ideas. 

"I agree with Megan. Jim needs to be with his family." Joel suggested. 

So Simon drove Jim over to his house, only to find that his lover was probably out   
looking for him. 

Jim thanked Simon and walked into their home. He got clean boxers and a tee   
shirt. His own. Then he crawled into bed and slept. 

He woke up when he heard Blair slide into the bed. A hand ran across his   
stomach and then his penis and Jim could tell it wasn't Blair. 

"Get out of my house."

"Jimmy, do you know how many times I dreamed of you. You ruined all of my   
marriages." Fortner said quietly next to Jim's face.

"I have a family. I have a lover. I don't want you." Jim shouted. 

"Jimmy, you'll always belong to me. And I'm going to show you right now." 

First Fortner took Jim's cock in his mouth and held Jim down with his hands. Jim   
was fighting but it wasn't working as he came close to coming. // Oh god, please   
don't let me make me come in his mouth. // The plea was too late. Jim came with   
a sad moan. 

"You always came so good for me, Jimmy. I love the way you taste." Fortner   
began to kiss Jim and Jim refused to kiss him back. This angered Fortner and he   
began to slap Jim around. 

Fortner actually got into hitting Jim so much that he began to slug and slap him   
repeatedly. Jim tried to fight back, but his mind wasn't allowing him to get very far. 

Fortner looked down and saw that Jim had two black eyes and his face was one   
big bruise. This turned him on even more. 

Fortner then flipped Jim to his belly and spread his legs as far as he could get   
them apart. Then he put his cock up to Jim's anus with no preparation at all. 

Jim was thrashing on the bed, making it very difficult for Fortner to get his dick into   
Jim. The more Jim fought, the harder Fortner got. And then Jim would fight   
harder. This wasn't going as planned for Fortner. 

Blair was standing in the doorway and flipped on the light. "Give me a reason,   
Fortner. I want to fucking kill you."

"You won't kill me Sandburg. You're a good cop. He's a slut. Did he tell you how   
much he loved it while he was in the service? He put out for everyone. " Fortner   
spat out. 

Blair gave no warning at all, he shot him in the shoulder. Fortner fell onto the floor   
and grabbed his gun lying by his jeans and brought it up. Blair didn't think twice as   
he shot him in the head.

Blair went and called Simon and then went back to Jim, who was sobbing into the   
pillow. 

"It's okay, baby. He's never going to hurt you again." 

"I didn't let anyone else do that Chief. I wasn't a slut. I wasn't a slut. I wasn't a   
slut. I wasn't a slut." Finally Jim fell asleep in Blair's arms. 

Simon walked into the room and saw the dead Agent and a naked Jim on the   
bed. Dan walked in and said, "Do we need to do anything for Jim?"

"Test for semen in the anus, please?" Blair was overwrought too. 

Dan walked over the dead guy and shook Jim. "Jim, I need to do some swabs on   
you to see if this pig got any semen on you or in you."

Jim held still as Dan did it and just shook in Blair's arms. "Good news Jim. There   
was no semen in the anus at all. There was some on the inside of your thighs.   
Were you fighting him off?" Dan was curious for strictly a medical reason. 

"He couldn't get in, because I was fighting him really hard. He was really angry."   
Jim could tell they weren't angry at him at all. He looked over and saw Fortner and   
freaked out. "Chief, I can't stay here. I can't stay here."

"We've got a spare room, baby. Let's go. Right now." Jim was led by Blair into   
the spare room and he fell asleep instantly. 

Blair walked back into their room and said, "So what kind of trouble am I in?"

"None." Simon said off handily. 

"Sir, I killed someone." 

"Sandburg, you killed someone that was attacking your lover. And then he turned   
a gun on you. You defended yourself. Now that's that. You'll have to go before a   
judge for a self-defense hearing, but that's all." Simon touched his shoulder softly   
and said, "You did a good job, Sandburg."

The kids stayed down at Rafe and Browns until morning. Jim was sleeping and felt   
cold air going across his lower body. He opened his eyes and saw Jade staring at   
his penis. 

"Daddy, the fairy came. Better get up and go potty." She helped him sit up and he   
said, "I'll be out in a minute."

He grabbed some sweats that Blair had there for him and he went to the   
bathroom to indeed go potty. He smiled to himself as he did it. God, he loved   
those kids. 

"Hey, you need to get a move on. You have an appointment with a shrink at   
11:00. So let's get hopping." Blair pushed him in their room. 

"You did a good job cleaning Blair. I can't smell it at all." Jim kissed him quickly   
before he got in the shower. 

Blair walked in and sat and watched him. "Something wrong Chief?"

"No, I just miss you. And I also love to watch you. Is that all right?"

"If you get naked you can do more than that." Jim said moving his eyebrows up   
and down. 

"Not until after you talk to someone. Then we'll fuck each other brainless." Blair   
laughed. 

"That would only take me about five seconds." Jim smiled at his love. 

They dropped the kids off at their schools and Blair dropped Jim off at the   
doctor's office. "Aren't you coming with?"

"No, I have to work." Blair needed to stay strong for this. 

"Chief, I don't want to do this alone." Jim didn't normally whine, but he was now. 

"Jim, get in there. It's time for your appointment. I'll see you later on." Blair   
watched him walk in and he drove off. 

Jim walked in and no one else was there except for a receptionist. She smiled   
and said, "Mr. Ellison?"

"Yes."

"Follow me, the doctor will see you now." 

Jim walked into the huge office and found a tall man standing there waiting.   
"Detective Ellison?"

"Yes sir."

"My name is Mitch. I prefer to have my patients call me that."

"Okay, Mitch, thanks a lot."

"Would you like some coffee to get us started?" Mitch asked nicely. 

"That would be great. I didn't have time for my caffeine intake this morning."

"Sit down, while Rita gets it for you." Mitch pointed to a chair and watched a very   
nervous man sit down. 

"This is a really nice office."

"Thank you. Now what should we talk about first?" Mitch decided to get the ball   
rolling. 

"I don't like the idea that this man came back into my life and I was so out of   
control."

"So before this, you didn't think of him at all?" Mitch was fishing. 

"Well sometimes, but nothing major."

"What do you mean sometimes?"

"Sometimes when I was getting fucked. Are you happy now?" Jim got up and   
began to pace. 

"So sometimes while Blair fucked you, you thought of this monster and you never   
thought that as abnormal?"

"Well it sounds weird the way you put it."

"Jim, do you bottom a lot?" Mitch was out there fishing again. 

"What does that have to do with anything?" Jim was frantic now. 

"Well, it might be that you felt that you had to open yourself up to Blair because   
you were a slut. Isn't that what you said the man called you?" Mitch was now   
going for the heart strings. 

Jim started to cry as he answered, "He said I was a slut, yes. I wasn't. He raped   
me repeatedly. But I should have been able to defend myself. God, I'm so   
fucked up."

"And how do you think Blair feels about this?" More fishing. 

"He says he loves me. But how could he? He came home and found Fortner   
getting ready to fuck my ass." Jim was still crying. 

"Do you think that Blair shot him with good cause?"

"Of course he did. Blair is the best person in the world. He would never do   
anything that wasn't good." Jim had stopped crying, just thinking about Blair. 

"So you want to resume a life with him?"

"Yes."

"Will you want to fuck him, or just you getting fucked?" Mitch was reeling in a big   
one. 

"God, I do that. Why didn't he tell me I did that?"

"Because he loves you. He didn't know what was wrong."

"I want my life back. I want my job back. I want my home back, including the kids   
and lover."

"Now we need to get down to some hard stuff. Why do you think Fortner raped   
you, or better yet, was able to rape you?"

"He was always bigger."

"Jim, didn't you ever come across someone bigger in the Rangers and were able   
to take them on?"

"Yes, you have to defend yourself to pass all of the courses."

"So did you ever have to overtake someone smaller?"

"I don't think so."

"Jim, you either did or you didn't."

"I didn't. I never took over someone that was smaller. Not until I joined the police   
force. Then I did sometimes. But I wasn't comfortable doing it."

"So it was all a matter of him being larger?"

"Yes."

"Did you fight him off in the service?"

Jim just sat there looking at the floor. Finally he looked up and said, "No."

"Why Jim?"

"Because he told me this happened to everyone and I believed him. But he would   
rape me nightly. I learned to not make any noise and that pissed him off. But I   
didn't fight him off at all."

"So Jim, back to the bigger and smaller fixation…"

"I lied. I don't have a thing about bigger or smaller. God, I'm so sick of people   
asking me things. I don't know why I didn't fight him off. I wish to god, I did. 

"Okay, let's jump to when Fortner came to Cascade. How did you handle him?"

"I did fine. I stayed clear of him."

"Jim, why didn't you tell your boss about him and have him removed from your   
work area?"

"That would have been embarrassing."

"But Jim, this is your life."

"I know that now." Jim put his face in his hands and just sat there for awhile. 

"Do you think that you might have been in love with the service time Fortner?   
Mitch hoped this might open up some things.

"No, I didn't like him. Yes, he used to make me come sometimes, but I didn't like   
him."

"He didn't always make you come?"

"No, he usually came too fast because I was so tight, he said."

"And you thought he was doing this to everyone?" Mitch was in shock. 

"No, I realized that it was only me after about a month. But then it was too late.   
He could have made my life miserable." Jim looked at the floor, wishing it would   
swallow him up. 

"So how did you feel about him?"

"I hated him. I really did. And he scared me. And I don't scare that easily." Jim   
still had his eyes on the floor. 

"So you're certain that you didn't have feelings for him?"

"Yes, I'm certain, Mitch."

"Jim, I'm going to ask you questions and you answer quickly. All right?"

"Hit me."

"Do you love Blair Sandburg?"

"Oh yeah."

"Do you want to make love to him right now?"

"Jury is out on that one, Doc."

"Would you let him make love to you?"

"Yes."

"Do you love Jade and Drake?"

"Oh yeah."

"Do you have a lot of friends?"

"Yes."

"Is Blair your best friend?"

"Yes."

"Would you make love to your best friend?"

"Yes, I think I would." Jim smiled for the first time since arriving. 

"What would you do if you had to leave the Police Department?"

"I don't know, but that doesn't worry me because Blair is great at everything. We   
would make a new life anywhere and begin again."

"Do you love Blair Sandburg?"

"Yes, I do."

"Would you make love to Blair Sandburg?"

"Yes, I would."

"Tonight?"

"Yes, tonight."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it." Mitch said smiling. 

For the next three hours he talked with Jim about therapy and Jim realized he   
really liked this doctor. Jim was going to go back again, and didn't mind doing so. 

Jim called from the waiting room for Blair. He waited until he heard the horn and   
walked out the door. Walking with a much lighter step and with a much lighter   
heart. 

"Hey Chief." Jim got in and leaned in and kissed him. 

"Whoa, I want you to go there every day." Blair laughed. 

"Well I'm going once a week. So you'll have me back soon." Jim smiled over at his   
love. 

"Are we going to work?" Blair really didn't know where they should go.

"Yeah, he signed a work release and as long as I keep up the therapy, its not a   
biggy. I also have to share with you." Jim kissed Blair again. 

Blair looked down and saw Jim sporting a hard on and said, "Want me to take   
care of that?"

"No. I want to make love to you tonight. If that's okay with you." Jim saw Blair's   
eyes sparkle with that news. 

When they got up to the Bullpen, everyone clapped Jim on the back and said,   
"Glad you're all right, Ellison."

"I'll always be all right, as long as I have Blair." Jim headed into Simon's office to   
give him the paperwork. 

"Hairboy, he's so in love with you." Rafe said with a huge smile. 

"Yeah, he is. And I love him. Ain't it cool?" Blair walked into Simon's office and   
knew that things were going to look up. 

When they got to their desks, Simon yelled, "Ellison, Sandburg, my office now."

"Yes sir." They said together. 

"I wanted to let you know that we have a new profiler that's going to be working   
on the case with the two of you."

"Okay." Jim said as he walked out of the room. 

"Sandburg?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Is he ready for work?"

"He's doing really well. And I think working the case with a profiler will be a good   
idea." Blair smiled as he walked out. 

He sat down at the desk and asked, "So are you okay with working this case so   
soon?"

"Chief, I'm fine. Don't worry so much." Jim filled out his reports they needed for   
the incident. 

Both men needed some time to heal, but they knew that they had their children,   
their friends and their jobs to keep them going. Before long everything would be   
back to normal. 

End Sullivan's Pub Part 30


	31. Sullivan's Pub Part 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts our very fun, but turns pretty serious. Happy Ending in sight.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 31  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/07/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. Well that’s what I’ve been feeling like lately. 

Story Notes: Serious, then fun, then serious, then fun, then sex, sex, sex. 

Summary: Starts our very fun, but turns pretty serious. Happy Ending in sight.

Warnings: m/m Entirely too much sex.   
====================================================

 

 

Sullivan’s Pub 31  
Patt

Everyone was sitting around talking and laughing when Jim Ellison walked in. Jim smiled at everyone and sat at the table. 

“Where’s Sandburg?” Jim asked Simon. 

“How would I know?” Simon answered. 

“He said you were going to give him a ride.”

“Well he never got a hold of me before I left.”

“Well I’m sure he’s fine.” Jim tried not to worry. 

“So are we going to wait for Sandy?” Connor asked. 

“No, we can start.” Jim answered. 

Blair walked into the Pub and Jim’s smile lit up the whole room. He watched his love walked across the room and realized he was drunk. // Why is he drunk? //

Blair plopped down beside Jim and said, “Hey Partner. How you doing?”

“Better than you.” Jim snapped. 

“Pissed off cuz I’m drunk?”

Whispering Jim said, “No, I’m pissed off because I can smell a woman on you.”

“Oh fuck you.” Blair shouted and then turned to Connor, “Hey, you gonna start this thing or what?” Blair slurred. 

“Sure, we’re just getting ready.” Connor said getting her paper out. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Excuses you could or couldn’t use to your boss for not coming into work. 

Connor: 1. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns  
today.

Rafe: Oh god, that’s too funny. 

Brown: I’m using that one soon, Simon. 

Simon: I think you all have voices talking to you. 

Sully: (Howling.) And you don’t honey?

Simon: Of course I do, but I’m the boss, so I can have voices.

Blair: I’m using this one on Friday, so no one else. K?

Sully: (Laughing.) You’re a very cute drunk, Blair. 

Blair: Tell Jim. 

Jim: Chief, drop it.

Dan: Okay, if you have Friday, I’ll call in on Thursday. Got that everyone?

Simon: If anyone calls in and says this, I’ll fire your ass.

Blair: You know what burns me?

Simon: What? 

Blair: (touching his butt) A flame about this high.

Sam: Oh god, I’m dying. LOL 

Blair: Well at least you’re with the medical examiner. Good thinking, Sam. 

Rafe: So I guess H and I can’t use this excuse either?

Henry: I’m going to. When he fires us, we’ll use another excuse. 

Joel: Jim, want to call in one day and use it with me?

Jim: No thank you, someone has to work. 

Rafe, Brown, Simon, Dan and Joel: Oh poor Jim. 

Jim: Well I’ll remember this when you all need a fucking favor. 

Simon: Maybe it’s time for a new one?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 2. When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in  
addition to my Prozac. Can't get off the john, but I  
feel good about it.

 

Blair: Oh man, I have to use this one. 

Joel: (laughing) Me too. 

Simon: You would actually say this?

Rafe: Why not?

Brown: I wouldn’t just say it, I’d do it. 

Dan: Do what? 

Brown: Sit on the toilet. (laughing.)

Sully: You guys are loaded for bear tonight aren’t you?

Sam: God, I’m laughing my ass off. 

Simon: Again, no one is using this as an excuse. I mean it. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 3. I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18  
hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop,  
reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was  
able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity  
of the power source exactly e*log (pi) clocks in the  
house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout  
with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in  
late, or early.

Blair: (Falls out of his chair laughing and can’t talk.)

Joel: I’m not sure I even understand this one. 

Simon: I know I don’t. 

Rafe: It’s perfect. I love it. 

Brown: I’m not certain I can understand it either. Ellison, do you get this?

Jim: No. 

Simon: A man of few words. 

Jim: Fuck no.

Simon: Better. Let it all out, Ellison. (Almost falls out of his chair looking at the evil face Jim is sending his way.)

Joel: Jim, did you hear our Mr. Sandburg worked Vice today?

Jim: (glaring at Blair) Why didn’t you tell me?

Blair: You were busy working a case with Joel and I got asked to work. Part of the job, Jim.

Simon: So right.

Sully: Was it exciting Blair?

Blair: Nah. 

Sam: Come on, tell us something. You have to give us more than Nah.

Jim: Yeah, tell us, Sandburg. 

Blair: I had to wait for women to pick me up all day long. And when they talked money, I had to arrest them. No biggy. Boring stuff. 

Jim: You could have at least called me.

Joel: Jim, he was working. 

Brown: Yeah, he was on a case. An important one. Hey Hairboy, find any women you really liked? (Laughing)

Blair: Nope.

Simon: I think it might be time to move on. Hell it might be time to move to another state. 

Sully: Good one, Simon. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 4. My stigmata's acting up.

Sully: Couldn’t you just see a bosses face if someone used this? I love it. 

Sam: Hell I might use it. What will they do, fire me? I’d have to sue them for Religious Persecution.

Simon: I have to admit if someone had used this at the station, everyone would be talking about it. 

Joel: You’re just asking Blair to do it. 

Simon: No, I don’t want you to do it, it’s funny is all. 

Blair: It is funny. 

Dan: I want to know if anyone ever gets this. 

Sam: God, I knew he would say something like that. He’s like Mulder in x-files.

Dan: Good looking?

Sam: Weird. 

Connor: Jim would you get me a drink please. I’m not driving so I want a slow gin fizz. 

Jim: Sure. Be right back. 

Connor: Sandy, talk to him. He’s upset. WE don’t want our Jim upset. He’s been having a tough time with the shrink. Now go and talk to him and have him drink the drink I ordered. 

They all turned to look and Jim was standing there.

Jim: Here’s your drink. And don’t forget I can hear over there too. It doesn’t help to whisper. 

Blair: They’re just worried about you, big man. 

Jim: Let’s continue.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 5. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not  
showing up for work. OK?

Rafe: Would this one work, Simon?

Simon: What do you think?

Brown: No. Damn, that’s a good one too. 

Sully: I could use that. 

Simon: No you can’t. You own your own business. 

Sully: Damn. 

Sam: I could use it. 

Dan: Nah. 

Joel: I know I couldn’t cuz that one because that damn Simon hears them here. 

Everyone burst out laughing, except for Jim. 

Blair: How about a break. Jim follow me. 

Jim: It better not be that damn restroom. I hate that place. 

Jim followed Blair into the said restroom and frowned at the smell alone. 

“Chief, it stinks in here. Can we go outside?”

“Too cold. Now talk to me.”

“I could smell all of the women on you, but I also smelled you.” Jim didn’t look Blair in the eyes as he said it. 

“You think I fucked someone?”

“I don’t know. I’m just saying you smell like they made you very hot.” Jim started to move a little from Blair. 

“Don’t you move. You’re an ass. If someone was rubbing your dick would it not get hard?” Blair held on to his chin so that Jim had to look into Blair’s face. 

“I don’t know.” Jim whispered. 

“You fucking know. You fucking know. You got hard for him, so don’t even start this shit with me. Tell me about that, Ellison. How hard did he make you?” Blair shouted and Jim ran from the restroom and didn’t know where to go. His keys were on the table sitting next to Simon. He would have to explain. 

Finally he decided that he would just walk home. Blair could take the SUV. He walked towards the front door and Joel grabbed him. 

“Come here Jim.” The two men walked into the kitchen and Joel said, “Jim he didn’t do anything you wouldn’t do.”

“I know. I was reacting badly. And for that I’m sorry. But he just said something to me in the restroom that I’m not going to get over that easily.” Jim was very sad. 

“Something to do with Fortner, no doubt. That man is going to be with you for a long time.” Joel pulled Jim in for a hug. 

Jim pulled out of the hug quickly. 

Connor walked in and said, “Did Sandy say something crappy because he looks real upset out there?”

“Yeah, he said something crappy.” It was taking everything inside of Jim, to hold things together. 

“Please come out and just try and finish the night. Please?” Connor kissed his cheek and he followed her out the doorway. 

Simon: Jim, you all right?

Jim: I’m fine. Chief, I’m sorry that I was treating you like shit. It won’t happen again.

Rafe: Oh Ellison, you are such a wuss. 

Brown: It’s okay, though. You make a fine wuss. 

Joel: I don’t think he’s a wuss. He’s in love. 

Sam: Tell us how much you love Blair. 

Simon: Not now. 

Sam: Yes, now. 

Jim: Well this wouldn’t be the time.

Blair: What? You don’t love me?

Jim: Of course I do. I’m emotional right now and don’t want to make a list of things. 

Dan: One thing. One thing that you love about Blair Sandburg. 

They all watched as a single tear slid down Jim’s face. 

Jim: I love everything about him. 

Dan: That’s a cop out. Pardon the pun. 

Sully: Come on, Jim. One thing. 

Jim: I love how he protects me. 

Rafe: He protects you?

Jim: Yes. 

Brown: Well that’s cool. 

Sam: I don’t like that one. Give me another. 

Jim: I love the way he watches the kids. His face lights up and the smile emits actual energy. The Electric Department should hire him. 

Simon: Now that was nice. 

Connor: But Jim can do so much better. 

Jim: I love the way he loves me. Actual fucking. He’s gentle when I need it and rough when I need that. 

Sully: Okay, we’re not really getting anywhere are we Jim? Think of one thing that makes Blair more important than anyone else. 

Jim: He allows me to be weak and accepts me as such. 

Sam: You think you’re weak. 

Jim: Oh yeah. 

Dan: Why?

Jim: I don’t want to do this. 

Simon: Jim, you think you’re weak because that man raped you?

Jim: I might. 

Joel: Well you’re not. Is he Blair?

Blair: You know Jim is right. We shouldn’t be discussing this right now. 

Jim laid his head down on the table and everyone could tell he was crying. 

Simon: Sandburg fix this.

Blair: Don’t you boss me around.

Joel: Blair, please tell him it wasn’t his fault. 

Blair: Jim, you know it wasn’t your fault. But you’re going to fucking blame yourself forever. So why are we discussing it?

Sully: Blair, why are you being so hateful? 

Blair: Maybe I don’t feel like being the nice guy all the time. Maybe I feel like being Jim. 

Jim brought his head up from the table and stared at Blair.

Jim: That’s what you think? 

Blair: Yes. 

Jim: See you later. I’ll move out tonight. Be sure and remember that Linda needs to go home. 

Jim grabbed his keys and rushed out to his vehicle. The drive home was hard, because of the tears in his eyes. He * was * a fucking wuss. 

Rafe: Come on Hairboy. We’re going to fix this. 

Blair: No, we’re not. 

Rafe: Fine, you sleep at my house. I’m staying with Jim tonight.

Blair: Don’t expect any sex. He doesn’t seem to be able to get it up these days.

Connor: Sandy!!!! What is wrong with you?

Blair: I’m tired of everyone always being on his side. No one listens to me. 

Sully: So you don’t want to be with Jim anymore? 

Blair: I don’t think so. 

Sam: God, I’m so sad. 

Dan: Blair, why don’t you and I take a drive and you can tell me what’s up.

“I have to get home to the kids. You heard Jim.” Blair said as he walked towards the door. “Oh, could someone give me a lift?”

Rafe and Brown both got up and walked out to the parking lot to take him home. 

Simon looked at every else at the table and said, “Does anyone have a clue as to what just happened?”

Dan: This is my take on it. That bastard got Jim hard when he sucked him off. So Blair knows that Jim is capable of getting hard, even at the hands of a madman. But here comes Blair and he can’t get him hard for anything.

Sully: Makes total sense to me. Jim only thinks about the rape now. He’s not thinking about Blair at all. I have a friend that was raped and for a long, long time she couldn’t have a good sex life. 

Sam: That’s right. She couldn’t. But she got past it. We have to tell Jim to talk more with his therapist.

Joel: And I think it’s important that we all help as men too. When I hugged him earlier, he pulled away from me. Almost like he was afraid. Maybe he is. Do you think he is?

Simon: I would be. If this happened to me, I’d be scared to death.

Connor: I agree with Simon. I’m scared and it didn’t even happen to me. Look at all the shit he’s been through in the last year. And he just keeps coming back for more. He loves Blair so much, that sometimes I just watch in awe. He’s such a good man. I think I need to go and see him. 

Connor stood up and kissed Joel and took the keys to the car. “I’ll be back later.”

“Stay with him tonight.” Joel offered. 

“Okay, kiss Miss Ellie for me and for Jim.” 

Simon looked around and saw that everyone was very upset by this. “Connor, see if you can talk everyone into coming back and finishing this. Laughter is the best thing.”

“Yes sir. Sounds good to me.” Connor said walking out the door. 

Joel picked up his cell and called Rafe. 

“Rafe.”

“Brian, see if you can get Blair back here. We need to have a fun night. Not a nightmare night. Connor is on her way to pick Jim up. So just head back this way.” Joel suggested. 

“Sounds good to me.” Rafe hung up his cell phone and turned his car around. 

“What are you doing?” Blair asked. 

“We’ve been asked to come back to Sullivan’s. Connor is getting Jim.” Rafe said. 

“Maybe I don’t want to go back.” Blair pouted. 

“Tough. You know you love him, Sandburg. So quit trying to be a shithead.” Brown said. 

Blair sat and pouted in the back seat making both Rafe and Brown smile. 

Connor drove up to Jim and Blair’s house and rang the doorbell. Linda answered and said, “What’s wrong?”

“Why?” Connor asked becoming alarmed. 

“It looked like Jim was crying. And he didn’t say a word to me and locked himself in the bedroom. Should I leave?”

“Linda, could you stay? I’m going to talk him into a drive.”

“Sure, get him out of the house. That’ll be good.” Linda sat back down and read her book. 

Connor rapped on Jim’s door softly as to not wake the kids. 

“Connor, go away.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

Connor heard the lock being opened and the door opened next. “What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you and I’d prefer it to be in private. Linda’s going to stay with the kids.”

“You’ll bring me back? Because I have to pack.”

“Yes, I’ll bring you back after I’m done talking.” She started out to the front of the house and watched Jim look sadly at his home. 

As they drove off she asked, “Jim, have you been able to make love to Blair since this whole thing?”

Jim looked at her with sad eyes and knew that Blair must have said something. “No, I can’t seem to get it up anymore.”

“What did the shrink say?”

“I didn’t tell him. He’s never asked.”

“So you decided not to tell him about it?” Jim what’s wrong with you?” Connor was getting upset. 

“Connor you don’t have any idea of what it’s like to go through something like this. And then your life is open for discussion. It hurts so bad.”

“Jim, I totally understand about all of this. I was raped when I was 20. I was already a cop and they raped me because of that. There were four of them. But Jim with proper help, I got past it. Joel and I have a wonderful sex life. And so will you and Blair.” Connor smiled over at her buddy. 

“I’m sorry Megan. I’m so fucking sorry.” Big Jim Ellison started to cry very hard. Connor pulled over to the side of the road and held him while he cried. “I can’t believe that anyone would hurt you. You’re one of the best people I know. And you gave us all Ellie. I love you.”

“Jim, I love you back. So would you do one thing for me?”

“Sure.”

“We’re going back to Sullivan’s and you’re going to finish out the survey. And then your next appointment you’re going to tell the Shrink all about how you feel and what’s going on with you. Do you promise me?”

“I promise.”

At Sullivan’s everyone was sitting at the table except Simon and he saw Connor and Jim pull up. “Ellison and Connor are here. We can get this show on the road.”

When they walked in everyone was talking and busy. Jim sat down next to Blair and he whispered, “I love you Chief. I love you more that you’ll ever know. And I’m going to talk to the Shrink on Monday about problems I’m having. Please don’t give up on me.”

Blair moved into Jim’s arms and held on for dear life. “I won’t give up on you man. But you have to know I would never fuck someone while with you.”

“I do. I love you. I’m sorry.” Jim continued whispering. 

“Excuse me, but aren’t we here to have fun?” Simon shouted from down at the end of the table. 

Everyone: Yes. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...

Blair: Jim, can I use this one? 

Jim: Sure if you want to. (More kissing.)

Rafe: I like this one too, Sandburg. Make sure and tell me which day you’re using it. We can say it was terribly contagious. 

Blair: It is contagious. 

Brown: Then I’ll be catching it next. 

Joel: You did know that the dicks fall off from this disease, right?

Rafe: Oh, we’re not using that one. 

Brown: We were just using the excuse, Bri, not losing our dicks. 

Jim: Good one, H. 

Blair: So it looks like only Henry and I will be using this one. 

Simon: You and Henry won’t be using any of these. 

Blair: You are no fun whatsoever. 

Brown: I agree. 

Simon: tough. 

Dan: I think it’s a dreadful excuse. I would never get over the idea of Rafe’s dick falling off. 

Rafe: I said I’m not going to use it. 

Dan: But it’s too late now. Now I have you in mind for this excuse. Poor no dick Rafe. 

Rafe: Shut up, Dan. 

Dan: That’s the best you could come up with?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at  
the Food Giant.

Joel: Honest to god, this happened one time. Remember Simon? It was a nightmare. 

Simon: I always thought it was true until I heard it here. 

Joel: I wouldn’t lie about my blood pressure. 

Connor: When was this sweetheart? 

Joel: Last Wednesday. 

Connor: Yeah, he was stuck in that machine all day long. I remember now. 

Simon: You’re both liars. I can’t believe you took a day off and used one of these excuses. 

Jim: Actually, I think it’s a wonderful excuse. 

Simon: You would. 

Blair: I agree with Jim. Great idea. 

Sully: That is so funny, Meg. I can’t believe you did that with Joel. 

Sam: Wait, what was your excuse?

Connor: I called and said that I had to have new seat belts put in the back seat for the carseat. 

Simon: That is just low. 

Connor: That’s when I came across Joel and helped get him out of that stupid thing. By the time we were done he was hard as a rock and I was warm for his form. 

Jim: So you really did get your arm caught, Joel? 

Joel: Yes. 

Dan: This is like something you’d hear on the news. 

Connor: God, I hope you wouldn’t hear what he said to me on the way home, on the news. 

Sully: Good one, Meg. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some sort of  
attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them  
Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help  
you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank  
you for calling.

 

Simon: Sandburg used this one two weeks ago.

Blair: But I wasn’t kidding. 

Jim: What were you doing?

Blair: I don’t have to share everything with them. 

Dan: Man, he was jacking off. 

Rafe: You could have done that in the stall in the restroom in the bullpen. 

Brown: That’s such a romantic thought. 

Rafe: Well it’s true. If I need you bad enough, I close my eyes and go to town.

Jim: Now is this at your desk?

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Rafe: No, in the restroom. If I feel like living on the edge, I do it right out in the open.

Brown: What the fuck? You do this often, Bri?

Rafe: No, just when I really want you. 

Brown: So you don’t want me too often. 

Rafe: I do it all the time. Okay, I jackoff three or four times a week just because you say something to me.

Joel: I have to do the same thing sometimes. 

Connor: You are so cute, honey bear. 

Dan: I don’t have to hide in my work. No one’s going to spread the word. 

Everyone laughs their head off. 

Blair: I have to do it a lot too. I watch Jim and it makes me hard. I listen to Jim and it makes me hard. I smell him and it makes me hard. 

Sully: Do you wait to show him at night?

Blair looked at Jim and saw the love there. “I’ve been being an ass lately, but I’m going to show him tonight if he’ll let me.”

Jim: He’ll let you. 

Sam: Good. I’m glad to hear it. 

Jim looked over at Sam hearing something odd in her voice and saw the sadness. 

Jim: Sam, could I talk to you for a moment?

Sam: Walk this way. It’s really hard being pregnant. Everyone watch and see if Jim really walks this way.

Simon: Oh I’m sure he will, Sam. (Laughing)

Jim turned to Sam and said, “Talk to me.”

“I’m so fucking sad. Jim, the reason I became a lawyer was because I was raped while I was in college. It was so fucking awful. I didn’t think I would ever get over it. And I’ve been watching you try and do the same thing and it just hurts so badly. I’m so sorry that this happened to you too. Do you know that 6 out of 10 people are raped every single week?”

Jim pulled her into his arms and said, “I’m sorry Sam. I’m sorry that anyone would hurt my precious friend. I’m sorry that you didn’t talk to Dan about it. He’s good with this type of thing. I want you to promise you’ll talk to him. I’m sorry that anyone touched you. They had no right. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help you. I’m sorry you weren’t around when I needed it. We’re two of a kind, Sam. We’re wounded spirits. I love you.”

Sam started crying really hard and Dan walked up and said, “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“We’ll talk about it tonight.” Sam said. 

“No, we’ll talk about it now.” Dan answered. 

Jim walked off and left the couple to talk. 

Simon: I can’t swear to it, but it looks like Dan is crying. What did you do to him, Ellison?

Sully: Simon, what a shitty thing to say. 

Jim: You think because someone cries, it’s because they hang out with me?

Simon: Of course. I think it was two weeks ago that Brown and Rafe were crying. Geeze, before long it’ll be me. 

Jim: No Simon, you’d have to have a heart. 

Simon: Oh fuck you. 

Sam and Dan walked back to the table, both donning red rimmed eyes. 

Connor: Just in time, I’m moving on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

Blair: Dumb. 

Jim: Dumb. 

Simon: Double dumb. 

Joel: Triple dumb.

Dan: Dumb.

Rafe: Agreed. 

Brown: Agreed. 

Sully: Agreed. 

Sam: Agreed. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 10. I just found out that I was switched at birth.  
Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee  
records may now contain false information.

 

Jim: Another dumb one. 

Blair: Wait, with some work, this could be funny. 

Joel: I can see those wheels turning. 

Simon: I kid you not, I’m not going to believe your excuses for the next year. 

Dan: I think it’s dumb. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: Wanna go into the restroom really fast?

Simon: Brown! What do you think you’re doing. 

Brown: Okay, I’ll go alone. 

Joel: I think we all should go. 

Connor: OH interesting. 

Simon: I’m not interested in seeing or hearing my friends jacking off. 

Blair: It might be fun. Everyone that agrees, raise their hands up?

Everyone raised their hand but Simon, causing much laughter. 

Brown: We’ll I’m going. Want to come, Hairboy? 

Blair: I’m there. 

Joel: I’m going to. 

Dan: What the hell. 

Rafe: Well I’m going to fucking show up. 

Once they all took off Connor said to Sully, “I think I want to see this too.”

“Sam, join us.” Sully said as she walked towards the bathroom. 

Simon: What the fuck is wrong with them?

Jim: Simon, I think they’re just curious. I’d like to go and see what’s going on. 

Simon: Go, see if I stop you. 

Jim walked into the restroom and Blair and Brown were both jacking off. They had their heads thrown back, breathing hard and licking their lips. 

Then Jim looked around and saw very turned on people. Joel was as hard as a rock, but trying to stay strong. Dan was hard also except that he was thinking about taking his out. 

Simon walked quietly into the room and saw three men now jacking off and turned to Jim and said, “It is fucking hot.”

“Yes, it is.” Jim replied and watched Joel. 

Jim knelt in front of Blair and sucked his cock and Blair came almost instantly. Then Rafe licked Brown’s cock hoping it would give Brown the push he needed to come. 

Rafe licked Henry again and Henry almost came from that alone. He kept sucking harder until Brown moaned low and sexy. The sound alone made everyone get hard again. 

Megan looked up at Joel and said, “Keep going big guy. You’re almost there.” And Megan licked the tip of his cock and Joel yelled as he came.

Sully knelt before Simon and took his nice cock into her mouth. Simon was so turned on that he wasn’t quite certain of what to do. He kept licking his lips. Jim moved over and licked Simon’s lips, having Simon open up to accept Jim’s tongue. As soon as this happened, he came groaning. 

Sam took Dan into her mouth and Dan was close to coming already. She sucked a few more times and he came with a shout. 

Megan looked around and said, “Well, ready for the rest of the questions?”

Everyone laughed as they walked out of the restroom. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite  
things when I am startled.

Jim: I got one of those last week. 

Blair: A jaw restraint?

Jim: Yup. 

Blair: (laughing) So show me how much you can bite man. 

Simon: Okay, this ones dumb. 

Joel: I have to agree. 

Dan: It doesn’t really fit any of us. 

Sully: That we know of. 

Sam: That’s true. Are any of you biters?

Brown: Bri is. 

Rafe: Hush. I’ve asked you not to tell people that. I like to mark him when we make love. 

Sully: That is so fucking sweet. 

Sam: It is. 

Dan: So you want me to bite you?

Sam: It’s called marking me, baby. 

Dan: You wouldn’t mind that?

Sam: No, sure wouldn’t. 

Joel: Meg, how do you feel about that?

Connor: I would love it.

Joel: You got it, woman. 

Connor: Twenty minutes ago, I never would have thought, I’m going to be sucking my husband off in front of my co-workers. But there I was doing it. And loving it. 

Simon: Yeah, it took me by surprise too. (Simon looked at Jim to see if he was upset in any way.)

Jim: Made me hot as hell. (Smiled at Simon to let him know that everything was all right.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

Simon: I know none of you have a dog. 

Jim: Damn. 

Blair: We could have gotten one. 

Jim: I would have said something. 

Blair: Jim, work with me here. 

Rafe: We’re thinking about getting Lancy one. 

Brown: Yeah. 

Simon: Don’t even try it. 

Joel: He’s getting to be no fun at all. 

Sully: Tell me about it. 

Simon: What do you mean by that?

Sully: I’m joking, sweetheart.

Sam: Well we were thinking about getting one. 

Dan: What kind are we thinking about getting, Sam?

Sam: A big one. A big one that bites. 

Simon: Still can’t call in, Dan. 

Dan: Damn. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 13. I prefer to remain an enigma.

Blair: This is mine. 

Simon: And I’ll tell you to enigma your ass out on the street, looking for other work. 

Blair: Jim, aren’t you going to stick up for me?

Jim: No, I still have to work for him. 

Rafe: I’ll use it another day when your not being an enigma. 

Brown: And I’ll be another. 

Simon: Didn’t you all hear, none of you enigma’s are going to be calling in or you’re out of work. 

Sully: Simon, what if they really felt this way. 

Simon: (laughing) right. 

Dan: Well I might try it. I don’t have to go through Simon. 

Simon: Maybe not, but I’ll tell everyone and then they’ll know you’re not an enigma. 

Sam: God, he’s good. 

Sully: He is. 

Joel: All right, keep this clean. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 14. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the  
Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a  
stake through her heart and give her eternal peace.  
One day should do it.

 

Jim: Hell I want to use this one. 

Blair: Are you saying this reminds you of Naomi?

Jim: Yes. 

Dan: I want to use this. But about my own mom. 

Sam: I like your mom. 

Dan: She’s nuttier than a fruit cake. Shouldn’t that saying be nuttier than a pecan pie? 

Jim: Good one, Dan. 

Simon: I agree Dan. It’s stupid because fruit cakes don’t have that many nuts in it. 

Sully: I agree. 

Sam: Can we come up with our own sayings and change old ones? 

Dan: We can do what we want. We just sucked off each other in front of all of our friends. If we can do that, we can do anything. 

Jim: Jesus, that little speech made me hard. 

Blair: Glad to hear it. 

Dan: Not sure if I am. (Laughing) 

Connor: I like Nuttier than a Pecan Pie. Let’s write this down. And I’ll also add that Jim gets hard listening to speeches made by Dan about sucking cocks. 

Jim: Thanks. 

Dan: Again, not sure if I should say thanks. (smiling)

Blair: You’re the best, Connor. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 15. I can't come to work today because the EPA has  
determined that my house is completely surrounded by  
wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter  
transportation.

Jim: This could happen. 

Simon: Not even. 

Blair: How do you know? 

Simon: I know. 

Rafe: We live down the road so we would have to have the same day off. 

Simon: You’d probably just want to go over to their house and have sex. (Covering his mouth, when he realized what he had said.)

Brown: Well, I never thought of it, but what the hell. Want to take a day off guys?

Jim: He was kidding Henry. 

Brown: Damn. 

Sully: I’d believe you if you said this guys. 

Simon: Why would you believe this?

Sully: Maybe I want to go and have sex. 

Simon: (Totally flustered) Very funny, Sully. 

Dan: And I don’t live too far away. 

Jim: Dan, you live miles away. 

Dan: Like I said, not too far. 

Jim: By all means, come. 

Dan: Oh I plan on it. 

Sam: And I live even closer. Can I come Jim? I love coming. 

Jim: By all means, come. We want to see you come. 

Sam: Group sex. Group sex. Woo Hoo.

Sully: I thought you moved in with Dan.

Sam: I did, but I was just teasing. 

Connor: Okay, everyone. That’s it for tonight. See you next week. 

Everyone: Night everyone. See you next week. 

They all walked out to their cars and said goodnight for the night. They all knew that something had happened tonight. They weren’t sure it was good or great. 

When Jim and Blair got home, they paid Linda and got her to her car. Then they locked themselves in the bedroom and Jim staked his claim. He fucked Blair three times before morning. Blair would be lucky to be able to walk again. 

Rafe and Brown went home and took care of their baby-sitter and then they locked themselves in their room and were doing a lot of the same things Jim and Blair were. 

At Sam and Dan’s, they were doing the ‘69’. Dan loved being able to eat her while she ate him. When they fell asleep it was of talk of all of their wonderful friends. They made plans for the nursery for the next month and hoped to get everyone to help. 

At Simon’s and Sully’s, they were also doing the ‘69’. Simon was so hot for her, that each time he licked her he got harder. Before long both of them came. Almost at the same time. 

At Connor and Joel’s, Joel was staking his claim. He was marking her and letting her know exactly whom she belonged to. But then she tried something new with him. She had bought an anal vibrator. So she was going to try that. But first she put him on his belly and she kissed him all the way down to his cheeks. He was moaning with need just from that. She pulled his cheeks apart and slid her tongue in there. Joel almost jumped off the bed. Megan went in for more. She started to fuck his hole with her tongue. He got up on his knees so that it would be easier. Meg, then got out the vibrator and put the lube and slid it in. It was a thin one, so she knew he’d be able to take it easily. When the vibration started up, Joel was begging for more. She turned the speed up and pushed it in further and a different angle. He howled and bucked back on it wanting more. 

She then pulled the vibrator out and put it back in and did it again. She kept it up and Joel was fucking himself on it. Meg hit his prostate about four more times and he came with the loudest yell she had ever heard. 

As he lay in the bed, he said, “You were talking with Jim about this?”

“Kind of. I asked for ideas for you. This was his idea.” Megan kissed Joel. “I love you baby.”

“I love you too, Meg.”

And this was how the evening went for the bullpen gang. 

This writer wishes she had this much sex. Geeze. 


	32. I Believe In Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blair is dealt something he never thought he would have to deal with. Can he? Can Jim? 
> 
> Major warning: Rape. Major warning: Blair owwies.

Title: Sullivan's Pub 32  
I Believe In Miracles   
Author/pseudonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: Drama

 

Disclaimer: Petfly still owns them.  I'm just borrowing and will put them   
back when done.

Notes: Serious again, folks.

Warning:. Major warning: Rape. Major warning: Blair owwies. 

Summary: Blair is dealt something he never thought he would have to deal with. Can he? Can Jim? 

***********************************************************

 

Sullivan’s Pub 32

 

I Believe In Miracles   
Patt

 

Simon called Jim and Blair into his office. He knew Jim wasn’t going to take this well. But Sandburg had a job to do. Simple as that. 

“Hi Simon.” Blair walked in and sat down. 

“What can we do you for, Simon?” Jim asked as he sat next to his partner. 

“We’ve got an important case in Seattle and we need Sandburg to be undercover.” Simon hurried to get finished so he could be ready for the yelling. 

Jim jumped up and shouted, “No fucking way.”

“Excuse me? This is my job, my life, I’ll make the decisions.” Blair shouted back. 

“Chief, you can’t leave the kids. You know that.”

“Yes, I can. Jim you’re capable of taking care of them. I’m doing it. I’ve wanted to do some undercover work since I started.”

“Fine, you’ve got your mind made up. Good luck.” Jim stormed out of the Simon’s office. 

“Want to fill me in on it, sir?”

“Maybe you should settle Jim down first?” Simon suggested. 

“No, Jim’s a big boy. He can settle himself down.”

“Okay, sit down then.”

Simon proceeded to tell him where he was going, who he was going with and how long he’d probably be gone. 

“Do I get to meet this Vice officer before I get to Seattle?” Blair was just a little nervous. 

“You’ll meet him tomorrow morning. That’s when you’re leaving. You’ll be riding along with Benson. His first name is Dave.” Simon figured that was enough for now. 

“Do you know him, sir?”

“Not personally, no. But you’ll meet him tomorrow.” Simon sighed as he saw a nervous Blair before him. 

“What time tomorrow?”

“Six a.m. and don’t bring Jim.” Simon suggested. 

“Right. Thanks for the chance to prove myself, sir.” Blair got up to leave. 

“Sandburg, you’ve proved yourself many, many times. You don’t have to do things to do it again.” Simon smiled at his newest officer and found himself feeling very proud. 

“Yes Sir.” Blair saluted and walked out with a big smile on his face. 

Jim saw the smile and wanted to smack his lover. Instead he got some work done. 

The day went slowly and finally it was time to run by and pick up the kids. Jim got up, grabbing his jacket and didn’t wait for Blair. 

Blair could see this all going downhill real fast. He grabbed his jacket and followed as quickly as he could. // Damn Ellison and his long legs. //

Once in the SUV, he still hadn’t said a word to Blair. “Jim, I’m sorry about this, but it’s something I have to do.”

“So do it. Do you see me stopping you?” Jim pulled into the driveway at the sitter’s and jumped out of the SUV. 

Blair just stayed in the vehicle. God, this was going to be a long fucking night. 

He smiled when he saw Jim come out with Drake and Jade. “Poppy’s here. Poppy’s here.” Jade said running for him. Blair stepped out and picked her up. She was so precious. Once he got her buckled up in the back seat he leaned in to the already buckled Drake and gave him a kiss. 

Once they took off driving Jim asked, “So how was school today?”

Drake smiled and said, “Mine was good. I got all E’s today. The teacher said I was smart and would go far.”

“Way to go, little man.” Blair high fived him from the front seat. 

“I’m very proud of you, Drake.” Jim said softly. 

Jim smiled at Jade who was chomping at the bit to tell them about her day, and said, “Jade, how about your day?”

“I had an purfuct day. We studied body parts in a book and I was the only one that knew about penises. I told all the little boys, that they were very lucky to have one.”

Jim and Blair both burst out laughing until Jim realized he was angry with Blair and he stopped. 

“I’m glad you both had excellent days.” Blair turned towards both of them and blew kisses. 

“What’s a matter with Daddy?” Jade worried. 

“There’s nothing wrong with Daddy. He’s fine, aren’t you Daddy?”

“Daddy is sad. But I’ll get over it.” Jim glared at Blair. 

“Why are you sad Daddy? Did Uncle Simon hit you or something?” Drake asked. 

Jim glanced back at him and said, “Uncle Simon never hits me. But he does do things with my life without asking me.”

“Poppy, what’s wrong with Daddy?” Jade asked getting upset. 

“Daddy likes to be a butthead now and then and today was the day.” Blair glared back at Jim. 

Both children started crying in the back seat and Drake said, “Poppy’s leaving.”

“Poppy are you leaving? Don’t you love us anymore?” Jade was getting hysterical. 

“Jade settle down. I have to go undercover for work. It’s work. I’ll be back.” Blair tried to explain. 

Jim pulled into their driveway and the kids both jumped out and ran to the door crying. 

“Thanks a lot you prick.” Blair stormed out of the car. 

Jim realized that he had just screwed himself. // Way to go, Ellison. Make him not want to come home. You are a prick. //

When Jim came through the door he could hear the children crying and Blair trying to soothe them. He decided that he would start dinner. It was the least he could do. When he was almost done he called out, “Poppy do you and the kids want to set the table for dinner?”

Blair and the kids washed their hands and then went in to get the dishes. Jim handed each thing to Blair and smiled at him. As Blair would hand each plate to the kids, he wondered where his real lover was. When they were all done Jim pulled Blair into his arms. Blair held on as if it would be the last time. 

“I was scared, Chief.” Jim whispered. 

“Scared of what?” Blair asked. 

“Scared that you’d end up being with someone else and I don’t share well. You know that.” Jim almost crushed his lips, the next kiss was so hard. 

“So you don’t trust me?” Blair looked weepy again. 

“I trust you. It’s everyone else I can’t trust. You’re beautiful and I won’t have anyone else having you.” Jim was just stating a fact. 

“So you’re going to let me do this?” Blair asked. 

“Yes.”

“I love you, babe.”

“I love you, Chief.”

They turned around to two little ones smiling big time. “They’re not fighting anymore.” Drake said hugging Jade. 

“Thank gooness.” Jade said loudly. 

When they got the kids all settled in their bed, Jim and Blair knew that they had things to take care of. Jim made love to Blair all night long. Except for the two times that Blair made love to Jim. It was indeed a night to remember. 

Blair got up early the next day and got in the shower. Jim got in with him and Blair said, “Oh geeze, Jim, I don’t think I could take you in me again.”

Jim laughed and said, “I’m here to shower with you. I love you baby.”

Blair was having second thoughts and Jim could tell. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

“I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing. Maybe I’m just doing this because I was angry at you.”

“Chief, I want you to do this. Then you’ve got it out of your system and we can move on.” Jim smiled down at his love.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Now get ready and go.” Jim shoved him into the room to get dressed. 

It was only five in the morning, so he kissed his children cheeks and was on his way. He came walking up with a big backpack and stood in the bullpen. 

// Shit, where was I supposed to meet him? // At that moment Simon came walking through the door followed by a huge guy. 

“Hope you haven’t been waiting long, Sandburg. This is Dave Benson.” Simon introduced the hulk. 

Blair kept waiting for him to turn green. “Hey, good to meet you, I’m Sandburg. Blair Sandburg.”

“You ready, Sandburg?” Benson growled. 

Blair leaned into Simon and whispered, “He doesn’t turn green does he?”

Simon couldn’t help it, he started to laugh. “Benson you’re going to have your hands full. Good luck guys and do your check ins with Carter in Vice.”

“Yes sir.” Both men said at once. 

Blair got into the nice truck and not for the first time wondered if these big guys had to have big vehicles. He smiled and got in.

“Something funny?” Benson asked. 

“I just wondered about big guys and their big trucks. Every guy I know that’s big has a big truck or SUV.”

“You have a SUV, right?” Benson asked. 

“Yup, and he’s a big guy.” Blair laughed. 

“Well what would you drive?”

“Well, I have my own vehicle. It’s a Hyundai Santa Fe and it’s wonderful. I love it.”

“They’re too damn small for someone with actual legs.” Benson teased. 

“Not true, Jim has driven mine and said it was really roomy.”

“He was just trying to be nice.” Benson laughed harder. 

“Can we talk about the case now?” Blair asked quietly. 

“Sure. We’re going up because they’re making porn films with underage people. Even the ones that aren’t underage, are taken by force. We’ve got to get in there, catch them and arrest them.” Benson seemed calm about it. 

“Excuse me? How are we going to arrest them when we don’t have our weapons?”

“We will. They’ll always be in the bottom of our bags. So stop worrying. I’ll take care of you.” Benson smiled over at Blair. 

“I don’t need you to fucking take care of me. I can take care of myself. Now where are we staying at?”

“It’s a motel room a block away from the filming sight.”

“Okay, I’m set.” Blair was hyped up. 

“You do realize that you’re going to have to be naked and maybe even screw someone?”

“What?” Blair looked over at him, showing his fear for the first time. 

“Yeah, that’s why it’s called undercover. You can have all of the blow job ones so that you won’t feel so nervous.”

“I’m not sucking anyone’s cock. Do you understand?” Blair yelled this time. 

“Why? You do it all the time.”

“His cock I want to suck. These cocks, I don’t. I’m not doing it.”

“We’ll talk to Captain Banks when we get there.” Benson smiled over at Blair again, making Blair very nervous. 

It wasn’t long and they were in front of a shabby motel. They grabbed their bags and Blair acted like he was going to call Simon. 

Benson grabbed the phone and said, “I’m the lead here. I’ll call him.” Blair watched him dial and talk to Simon Banks. “Okay, sir. I’ll tell him what you said. Goodbye.”

“What the fuck? I wanted to talk to him.” Blair shouted. 

“He said that you took the assignment, you have to do what comes along with it.”

“Bullshit. He would never say that.” Blair shouted again. 

“He wants you to see the studio and then we can talk after that.” 

Blair followed him down the block to the filming studio and they walked in. There were two men on the bed and one of them didn’t want to be. 

“Benson, stop this. He’s being taken against his will.”

And just like that, Benson shoved Blair up against the wall and started to take his clothing off. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Blair panicked. 

“You’re going to get fucked like you’ve never been fucked before.” Benson drug a kicking and yelling Sandburg into the room with the other two men. 

The one that was being raped realized that now he wasn’t totally alone. And that made him start to cry. 

Blair found out how fucking strong this asshole was. And it wasn’t long and he had Blair’s clothing off. He spread Blair’s legs, slid a condom on and rammed his cock into Blair’s ass. He was much bigger than Jim and there was no preparation. So the pain was unreal. It took a moment to realize that the screams he was hearing, were coming from himself. 

This went on all night long. Blair was so sore, he couldn’t even think. He was so grateful that the low-life prick wore a condom. Blair looked over at the young man on the bed curled in a ball and realized he was fucking lucky. At least the man that was raping him couldn’t get it up that often. 

There was a voice and it said, “We need some more for the ending.”

Benson said, “Get over here and suck his cock.”

Blair started fighting again and Benson said, “Go right ahead and fight. We love it like that.”

So Blair screamed when Benson rammed into him this time and kicked the guy in front of him trying to suck his cock. 

This went on for some time and Benson came in his ass again. The guy in front was never able to get to Blair’s cock. 

The voice came again and said, “That was a perfect ending. We’ll keep him for the rest of the week, Ben.”

Benson threw Blair down on the filthy bed. Benson went and talked to the film crew and Blair looked at the young man and said, “We need to get out of here. We’re going to go out naked and fast. Hopefully a car will stop for us.”

“Yes, I’ll go with you. I’ve been here for four days.” He stood up and Blair stood up and they made a run for it. Both men had blood running down their legs from the damage that had been done. No one even noticed they were gone for a few minutes. 

The two naked men went flying out the door and a police car stopped. Taking in the blood and tears, he didn’t think it looked good. He called for an ambulance and put the men in the back seat wrapped in blankets. Then he called for backup to raid the place before they got rid of evidence. 

When all was said and done, they got more than they needed. The young man was the son of a wealthy businessman that they were going to blackmail. He held on to Blair’s hand the entire time he was in the police car. 

“And who are you?”

Blair started crying suddenly when he realized Jim’s worst nightmare came through. “My name is Detective Blair Sandburg, of the Cascade Police Department. My boss is Captain Simon Banks.”

“It’s going to be all right, Detective.” One young cop said nicely. 

“Oh tell me how this is ever going to fucking be all right. I don’t think so.” Blair started to get out of the car and the cop stopped him and said, “You have to see the EMT’s.”

“I don’t have to do anything.” Blair pulled away and started walking down the street naked with a blanket thrown over him.

“Lucas, stay with him. And call it in when he falls down.” Sam said pushing his partner towards the suffering man. 

“Captain Banks? My name is Officer Sam Mills and my partner and I intercepted two men coming out of a film shoot and they had both been raped. But your man has been raped severely.”

“What are you talking about? What man?” Simon shouted, hoping it wasn’t Sandburg.

“He said his name is Blair Sandburg sir. And he said you were his boss. Right now my partner is with him, because he’s in shock. He’s going to try and get away and you’ll never see him again.”

“Oh fuck… Oh fuck… Mills, I’ll be there as soon as possible. Could you force him into an ambulance and take him to the hospital? I’ll meet you there.” Simon was getting his things ready as he spoke. 

“I’ll get him there sir.” Mills hung up the phone and told all of his fellow officers where he was going. He asked, “Mr. Middleton, we’re going to the hospital. Is that going to be all right with you?”

“Yes.” Came the quiet reply. 

Sam saw Lucas following Blair, with Blair screaming at him. Sam pulled up and said, “Time to go Lucas. Both of you.”

Lucas grabbed Blair and Blair started screaming, shouting and then finally crying. He fought them long and hard. They had a hard time getting Sandburg into the back seat. Once there, he was quiet. He just leaned against the window and cried softly. 

Both Officers looked at each other with pain in their eyes. They knew that both of these men were going to be in for a long road of recovery. 

Once they arrived at the hospital, Blair tried to take off again. But Lucas grabbed him once again. “Blair, Simon wants you here. Please come with me so I don’t have to hurt you.”

Blair calmed down and walked into the hospital. They got both men right in and the cops sat down in the waiting room. They were still waiting when a large Black man walked in and rushed up to the desk. “Do you have an Detective Sandburg here?”

Both of the cops stood up and said, “Captain Banks, I presume?”

“Mills?”

“Yes, sir. Sam Mills and this is Officer Lucas Wells. We’ve been here waiting, but no one has come out for family or anything yet.”

“Do you go by Sam and Lucas or Wells and Mills?” Simon asked. 

“Sam and Lucas, sir.”

“Simon. Let me go and see if I can find something out.” Simon walked off and then called for the Officers to follow him. 

They went into a room and sat down. They waited for an hour and in walked a man, they guessed was a doctor. “You’re here for Blair Sandburg?”

“Captain Simon Banks.” Simon held his hand out. 

The doctor explained everything that had been done to Blair and how much surgery they had to do to fix his anus. He then described the bruises and cuts all over his body from fighting this huge 276 pound man. 

“Captain did you know that he was coming into this? Because he was told by the man that raped him repeatedly that you said to get tough and do what was needed.”

“Doctor, what is your name?” Simon asked. 

“Doctor Frank and did you know?”

“Frank, I had no idea. And I never talked to the man that raped him. Not on the phone. But I never would have said that.” Simon felt like he was defending himself. 

“Well he said that he’s not going back to Cascade and he wants you to tell everyone that he died.”

“And you’re going along with this?” Simon was appalled. 

“Of course not. I want you to see him and tell him that he isn’t a bad cop.” The doctor led the way for Simon to speak to him. He turned to Sam and Lucas and said, “You can talk to him in a while.”

Simon walked into the room and could hear the little hiccups coming from Blair’s body. He stood next to Blair’s head and said softly, “Sandburg?”

Blair almost jumped off the bed and he started to cry all over again. “Blair. Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you. You know that.”

Blair did calm down and Simon said, “I didn’t talk to him on the phone. I just want you to know that.”

“You didn’t?” Blair asked so pitifully it broke Simon’s heart. 

With tears rolling down his face, Simon said, “No, Blair. And I never would say anything like that to you.”

“Thank you.”

“For sending you into a crime scene? For damaging one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met? For letting a rapist take you? For not listening to Jim?” And then Simon started to cry, not just tears, but he cried his heart out. 

Blair touched his hand and then Simon held Blair’s. Then just sat there holding hands and crying. Finally Simon pulled away and said, “Blair I’m not telling people you died. But I will tell them that you’re still undercover if you want me to. You can get the therapy you need and rest up. I’ll get you an apartment. What do you say?”

“I might do that. I just can’t face him right now, Simon.”

“I understand, Blair. I do. Now there are two really nice officers here that were so fucking worried. And they’ve been here the whole evening. Can they come in and say hello?”

“Yeah, if you stay here.” Blair was scared to death. 

Sam and Lucas came in and visited for about an hour and then gave Blair their numbers for him to call if he needed anything. 

Jim walked into the Bullpen on Monday and wondered where Simon was. They always had that first morning cup of coffee together. 

Brown walked in and said, “Simon’s out for the week.”

“Yeah?” 

“We’re going to have some Captain from Vice come down and check on us from time to time.” Rafe added when he got there. 

“From Vice?” Jim asked, confused. 

“Nah it wasn’t Vice. His name was Benito, do you know who that is?” Brown asked. 

“Yes, he’s the Captain that we say good morning to every single day of the week, as we walk in the building.” Jim laughed. 

“Well he’s going to be our boss for the next week.” Rafe said smiling. 

“Did you hear we’re having a Sullivan’s Pub tonight?”

“Got the sitter all set up and everything.” Jim said smiling for the first time since Blair had left. 

“Do you think we could bring Lancy over to your house?” Brown asked. “My other sister that baby-sits can’t make it tonight.”

“Sure, the kids all get along fine.” Jim said sitting down and getting started on some work. 

Joel walked in and asked, “Who’s going to Sullivan’s tonight?”

Jim yelled, “We all are. Hey did anyone invite Sully?”

“No, call her and invite her.” Brown bossed Jim. 

“Rafe, is he this bossy at home?” Jim laughed and realized he was going to make it without Blair. 

“Always, now would you please invite her before she takes someone else up on an offer of asking stupid questions.” Rafe couldn’t get over how much fun this bullpen usually was. 

Jim picked up the phone and called Simon’s number. “Banks residence.”

“Why hello Ms. Residence. How would you like to meet some dirty minded men at Sullivan’s Pub tonight?” Jim teased. 

“I would love it.”

“Good, we’ll see you at seven. Everything all right?” Jim asked. 

“Just worried. He called but he won’t tell me where he is or what he’s doing.” Sully did sound worried. 

“I’m sure he’s fine, Sully. Come tonight and we’ll all feel better.”

“See you at seven.” Sully hung up and felt fantastic. The phone rang and she picked it up and said, “I said I’ll see you at seven. You don’t get me any sooner than that.”

“Sully.”

“Simon. What’s wrong? Baby I can hear that something’s wrong. Talk to me.”

“Sully, you can’t go to the Pub tonight. Because I’m going to talk to you and you’ll be too upset and Jim will be able to tell.” Simon was so distraught and he needed someone to talk to. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Blair. Someone hurt him so bad. I’ve got to stay here for the week and then Blair will be in therapy for a month or so.”

“Oh god, someone raped him?” Sully started to cry.

“It was the cop partner. He was so fucking viscous. You wouldn’t believe the damage that was done.” Simon said with disgust. 

“Simon, I want you to come home and I want Jim to go up there.”

“Baby, Blair doesn’t want Jim here. He doesn’t want to see anyone.”

Sully started to cry and finally said, “So what do we do?”

“We have to wait.” Simon tried to sound casual, but was hardly feeling that way. 

She got off the phone after calming Simon and laid down and cried herself to sleep. There was no one she could tell. They would all be too close to Jim. 

When Jim took some papers up to Vice he heard two cops talking. “So what’s the deal with Benson? They said he’s never coming back? Weird.”

Jim knew that Benson was the one that was working with Blair. Jim went back downstairs and looked through Simon’s papers and found the note for the airline. Jim picked up the phone and called them and asked if Simon Banks had made an airline reservation and to where. 

“Sir, we have one made in your Captain’s name and he was fine when he left. He also rented a car for the week.”

“Could you tell us where he went?” Jim was shaking. 

“Seattle, sir. And he’ll be back on Sunday.”

Jim finished his work and decided he would try and calm down. // I’m sure there is a good reason that Simon is in Seattle at the same time that Blair is. Give it a rest. //

During dinner that night, Jade said, “I got a card from Poppy today.”

“You did?” Jim was so glad. “Can Daddy see?”

ON the cover of the card, it was filled with balloons and flowers and inside it was filled with Blair’s writing. He told her he missed her, he loved her and for her to take good care of Daddy. 

“Did you get one, Drake?”

“No.” Drake said sadly. 

“I’m sure it’ll come tomorrow or the next day.”

They all chatted and Jim gave them their baths before Linda came to baby-sit. God, he loved these kids. They were so precious. 

When Jim walked into Sullivan’s everyone was waiting for him. 

“Slow poke.” Rafe teased. 

“Where’s Sully?” Jim asked. 

“She’s right here. Sorry I’m late.” Sully walked by and kissed all of her friends. Jim could tell something was wrong. Now Jim was ready to panic. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: These are bumper stickers and you tell me if they remind you of anyone, or if you’d use them. www.sex@myplace.com.now.

 

Connor: I see Blair putting this on Jim’s. 

Jim: No, I see me putting it on Blair’s.

Joel: I see this one for Meggie. 

Rafe: I see this one for Brown. 

Brown: I see it for Hairboy. 

Dan: I see this one for Sam and I both. 

Sam: Here, here.

Sully: This doesn’t really remind me of anyone. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 51% Angel, 49% Bitch. Don't push it!

Sam: This is me. 

Dan: It is. 

Sully: This might work for me. 

Dan: Sully, this is you. 

Rafe: I think it works for Henry. 

Brown: Hush. 

Jim: This is so Blair. He is quite the angel, but he can be a shit when it’s called for. 

Joel: I agree with Jim. And it’s Meggie all the way. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Horn broke. Watch for Finger.

 

Brown: This one screams Jim. 

Rafe: Couldn’t agree more. 

Joel: What can I say Jim. Raise that finger with pride. 

Sully: I agree. 

Dan: I think it sounds like Jim too. 

Sam: Geeze, I don’t think so. He’s such a gentle soul. He would never give you the finger. I, on the other hand, will. (raises her middle finger and everyone laughs.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Jim noticed that Sully seemed to get upset at this one. He would just have to watch her and see what happened. 

Joel: I want this one. 

Connor: Hell, I want this one.

Sam: Is it just me, or does this scream Simon?

Sully: It does not. (snarling) 

Sam: Sully, I was kidding. 

Sully: I’m sorry.

Rafe: I want one of these. 

Brown: Me too. I want it in my house. 

Rafe: Good thinking, H. Good thinking.

Everyone looked at Jim. 

Jim: Sully, would you like to tell us why Simon went to Seattle?

Sully: He’s not in Seattle, unless he lied to me. 

Jim: You’re fucking lying to me. (Jim stood up and was screaming at her.)

Dan: Jim, sit down and lower your voice. Now. 

Connor: What’s this about him being in Seattle. I heard he went to Van Couver for a conference. 

Joel: I haven’t heard he went anywhere. 

Jim: When I was up in Vice yesterday, they said that Benson, Blair’s partner was never going to work again. Want to explain that to me, Sully?

Sully: I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I don’t know anything about Benson.

Jim: Something happened to Blair and you’re not telling me. Why?

Sully: Jim, I would tell you if he wanted you to know, right?

Jim: Oh god, something happened and he doesn’t want to see me anymore?

Joel: Okay, we need to know Sully. Just tell us. 

Sully: I think I should talk to Jim first. 

Jim stood up and walked towards the front door. “So tell me.”

“Jim, if I told you something and asked you to abide by his wishes, would you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would you just leave your kids to do this?” Sully was making him feel like a parent again. 

“No, I would have to work something out for the kids.”

So Sully explained the whole story to Jim and everyone was watching out the window. They saw Jim hit the pavement on his knees and scream his lungs out. 

“Oh Jesus, what happened?” Connor asked. 

Dan said, “They’re coming back in.”

Jim didn’t even try and hide the fact that he’d been crying, he asked, “I need someone to stay with our kids for a while.”

Behind him, Sully was telling everyone to say no. 

“Jim, I would but they’re going to need full time care with both parents gone and I have Ellie to take care of too.” Connor said quietly. 

Rafe: Jim, we would but Connor’s right. Those kids need the two of you big time. I couldn’t deal with that. 

Brown: Me either. 

Sam: I’ve got these big cases coming up in the next few weeks Jim. I’m sorry. 

Jim went down to the floor again and sobbed his heart out. Dan hugged him and said, “I’ll stay at your house on one condition.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” Jim whispered. 

“Don’t thank me yet. You have to tell us what happened to Blair.”

Jim sat down next to Dan, with Dan’s arms securely around him and told everyone what happened to Blair Sandburg. Everyone was crying by the end of it, so Jim didn’t feel out of place at all. 

“Dan, I’ll stay with Jade and Drake, if you drive Jim.” Sam said. 

“NO Sam, what about the cases?”

“There is none. I’ll tell you about it later.” Sam said smiling at her friend. 

“I’ll make a list up of everything you’ll need for the kids.”

“I bet you have a list of contact numbers and all of that.” Sam teased him. 

“It’s all set.” Jim smiled back. “Dan could we go tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s only an hour away.” Dan got up and then added, “I’ll run home and get packed really fast. 

Joel held on to Jim and said, “You bring him back with you. We love him. I’m so sorry this happened to such a good soul.”

“I’ll bring him back Joel, because he’s the other half of my soul.” Jim walked away and everyone knew this to be true. 

Jim got home and packed quietly and then went to look at his children. They were so sweet. The idea of leaving them with someone other than Blair made his heart ache. But he had no choice. 

Sam arrived about an hour later and Jim gave her the SUV keys and the lists that she would need for the kids. “Take good care of them, Sam. They’re my life, too.” He kissed Sam and left quickly. 

He didn’t say one word all the way to Seattle. He followed the directions that Sully had given him and they found the apartment building that Blair was living in now. Dan watched Jim getting out of the truck and could see him shaking like crazy. 

“You scared Jim?”

“Yes.”

“Want to walk around and breathe a little?”

“No. I need to see Blair.”

“Do you want a hug?” Dan finally asked. 

“That wouldn’t hurt.” Jim went into Dan’s arms and he felt better. He was getting calmer as the time went on. 

The two men walked slowly up the stairs and knocked on the door. Simon was expecting them. Sully had called. 

“Jim, he doesn’t want to see you.” Simon said holding Jim back. 

“I have to see him, Simon. I have to.”

“Well his wishes are what count right now. So I need you to leave.” Simon said calmly. 

Jim started sobbing and it wasn’t quiet. Blair stood in the doorway of his room and said, “Jim come here.”

Jim got up and said, “Blair, Blair, Blair.” 

Then Jim realized that Blair was standing far away from him. “Jim, I need to get my head on straight.”

“So you’re leaving me?” Jim asked sadly. 

“I think so.”

“I understand. I’m sorry this happened to you baby. I wish we could have a do over.” Jim said. 

Blair started to cry and Jim didn’t know what to do. He just stood there and watched Blair cry and he cried along with him. “You’re just going to give me up that easily?”

Jim stepped closer to Blair and said, “Come to me.”

Blair took a step closer and waited for Jim to make a step. They kept doing this until Jim was able to hold Blair in his arms. 

“I love you so much Chief. I can’t even think about life without you.”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you.”

Jim held him tighter and said, “Blair, remember, I more or less pushed you into this at the end. You were having second thoughts. So now we both have to live with it.”

Simon walked in and asked, “How long do you need off Jim? I’m going back to Cascade.”

“I think we both need a month at least. We’ll have to see a therapist and go from there.” Jim answered. 

When Simon and Dan left, Jim locked up and crawled into bed with Blair. Blair told him every single thing that happened. Both men cried themselves to sleep. 

The month flew by, showing Jim and Blair that things could get better. Sam brought the kids up twice a week to visit the men. And Jade always cried her little heart out when she had to leave. 

The drive home was quiet, and neither man knew if that was good or bad. When they drove up into the driveway Jade and Drake came flying into their arms. Both men were carrying kids and trying to carry luggage too. 

“Wow, is someone happy to see us?” Jim asked. 

“Jade is.” Drake said laughing as Jim kissed his neck. 

“Are you gentlemen ready to take over?” Sam asked. 

Jim set Drake down and hugged Sam. “Thank you so much, Sam.”

“Poppy is sleepy, does anyone want to lay with him?”

“I do. I do.” Jade said running for the bedroom. 

“Me too.” Drake wasn’t far behind. 

Jim smiled at the thought of having family life back. // Who are you fucking kidding? It’s never going to be back. // 

Jim sat on the sofa while his family slept. Blair had decided he didn’t want to sleep with Jim anymore. He wanted to live with him, but no sex. And he didn’t want to lose the children. Jim had agreed with him only to make Blair stop crying. Now he was wondering what he was doing. 

Jim unpacked his suit case in the spare room and got it set up for him. He’d let Blair have their old room. Jim then laid down and took a short nap. 

When he woke up he could hear Blair and the kids in the kitchen. He just laid and listened to the wonderful sounds. Jade came running in and said, “Daddy, Poppy wants you.”

Jim walked into the kitchen with his bed-head and Blair thought he hadn’t seen anything so sweet in ages. “Why didn’t you sleep with us?”

“Kids, why don’t you go and find some cartoons.” Jim suggested as both went flying into the living room. 

“Chief, I moved into the spare room. It’ll be easier.”

Blair started to cry quietly and Jim asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I wanted you to stay in our room.”

“Chief, I can’t. I would be too tempted to touch you. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.” 

“Please don’t leave me.”

“Blair, I’m not leaving you. I love you.” Jim pulled him in for a hug.

“So you’ll sleep in our room?”

“Yeah, I’ll sleep in our room.” Jim was resigned to the fact that he was going to have a 24-hour boner and no where to bury it, forever. Sighing he walked into the spare room and got his things and put them into their bedroom. 

When he got done he walked into the kitchen and set the table and looked over at Blair and saw his love smile at him. 

“What?” Jim asked. 

“You’re such a good man.” Blair said. 

During dinner Jade was sitting there watching her Daddy and Poppy and noticed that they didn’t kiss anymore. Being the four year old that she was, she had to ask. 

“Poppy, why don’t you kiss Daddy anymore?”

Jim spit his drink all over his meal.”

Drake patted his back and said, “Want better food, Daddy?”

“He prolly just needs a kiss.” Jade said. 

Blair leaned into Jim and kissed him quickly, but with no meaning. Jim felt worse after that. 

“So Daddy, maybe Poppy needs a good kiss from you.” Drake suggested. 

“We just kissed. Now let Poppy eat.”

“They’re getting avorced. I told ya.” Jade started to cry. 

“Are you? Are you getting avorced?” Drake asked. 

“Drake, we aren’t married. So we couldn’t get divorced if we wanted to.” Jim answered. 

“Yay. So no avorce.” Jade was jumping in her chair. 

“Don’t jump at the table and it’s divorce.” Jim corrected her. 

“So if you aren’t married, than Poppy could leave you anytime?” Drake was putting two and two together. He was very good at math. 

“That’s right. If Poppy wanted to leave, there is nothing I can do to make him stay. But he’s not leaving. Poppy loves you two more than life itself.” Jim explained. 

“Poppy, don’t you love Daddy anymore?” Jade was still upset. 

“Yes, I love Daddy very much.” Blair said quietly. 

Jim looked at Blair oddly. 

“What’s wrong with you Daddy? You look sad.” Jade climbed into his lap. 

“Jade, sometimes things change in a person’s life. Things we don’t want to change. And something happened to me, and now Daddy is sad.” Blair was trying to explain. 

“So you will leave us, right?” Drake asked point blank.

“I’m going to try not to.” Blair said sadly. 

“If Poppy leaves, would you still stay with us, Daddy?” Jade had big tears in her eyes. 

Jim set her down and walked into the bedroom. “Daddy. Come back here we was talking.” Jade went running into the bedroom and found Jim on the floor in a fetal position. 

She ran into the kitchen and said, “Poppy, Daddy felt and broke his head. Now he’s not waking up on the floor.”

Blair rushed into the bedroom and found Jim zoned out. He talked him out of it quickly enough. But Blair found out something odd. His cock was stirring every time that he strokes Jim’s back or face. Blair didn’t think he could ever want that again. He guessed his cock had different ideas. 

They got the kids ready for bed that night and finally it was time for them to sleep. Jim slept over on the far left and hoped that he didn’t upset Blair during the night. He was almost asleep when Blair slid into bed. Blair moved in close to Jim and rubbed his chest. 

“Chief, don’t do that. Please.” 

Blair moved down Jim’s chest, down to his stomach and then touched his cock. Jim jerked and moaned. “Chief. Slow down. We need to wait.”

Blair ignored his lover, and began to pick up the pace with stroking Jim’s cock. Before long Jim was getting close and he didn’t know what to do. “Blair, fuck me.”

Blair pulled his hand away from Jim’s cock and laid over on the other side of the bed. Jim was confused and he knew that Blair was confused. “I’m sorry Jim. I’m so sorry.”

Jim could hear soft little sobs coming from that side of the bed. “Come here Chief. We don’t have to do anything in order for me to hold you.” Blair moved into his arms immediately. Jim didn’t get hard at all, while he held him. Jim was so glad to have him in the same bed, he didn’t care about fucking sex. 

Blair started seeing a therapist the next day and he told Jim, “I think this woman is going to help me a lot.”

A month later, Jim was lying in bed snuggled up to Blair. They were talking and before long Jim was hard as a rock and Blair was jumping out of their bed and running for the bathroom. 

“Fuck.” Jim called out. He was so tired of this crap. He needed sex. 

Jim got dressed and went out. He didn’t tell Blair where he was going, but Blair could figure that out. 

Jim went to a bar, not a gay bar, but a regular bar and ordered a drink. Before long someone sat next to him and she said, “Hi Jim.”

“Hi.” Jim saw it was the girls in records. What was her name? 

“In case you don’t remember, my name is Gena.”

“I remembered. Just took a minute to think of it. Sorry.” Jim smiled at her. Some nice music came on and he said, “Would you like to dance?”

“That would be wonderful.”

So Jim and Gena danced for the next two hours. Jim was hard against her and she seemed to like that idea. He drank some more and the idea of sleeping with her was getting easier. 

Gena sat next to Jim, at the table they moved too and she started stroking Jim through his jeans. She took Jim’s hand and put it between her legs. “Jim, follow me.” Gena stood up and took his hand. She pulled him into the men’s restroom and locked the door. 

“I have to go.” Jim said. “ I’m sorry. I’m with someone. The drinking played with my mind. I’m sorry.”

Gena knew about Blair, but she could dream. Sighing she got cleaned up and walked out of the restroom. 

The whole way home Jim cried. He knew he had just fucked up the best thing in the world. Blair would never come back to him now. He drove down to Rafe and Browns and knocked on the door. 

Rafe answered the door, half asleep and said, “What?”

“I’m going to lose him now.”

Rafe pulled him into the house and said, “What did you do?”

“Bri, I’m so fucking horny. I went to a bar. I let a woman pick me up more or less.” Jim said head hanging low. 

Brown had walked in for this. “Please tell us you didn’t fuck her.”

“I didn’t fuck her. But she touched me through my jeans. Isn’t that almost as bad?” Jim was wiping tears as he talked. 

“I don’t know Jim. You’ll have to ask Blair.” Henry said. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Jim was begging. 

“No, he’s called here twice as it is. Go home and face up to him.” Rafe pushed Jim to the door and then out to his SUV. 

Jim drove the block home and sat in his vehicle. He didn’t know what he’d say to Blair. God, he was such a prick. 

Blair opened the passenger door and got in. After a few minutes he said, “Did you fuck her?”

“No.”

“Good.” Blair looked over at Jim to see where they both stood. 

“Blair, I can’t do this. I almost fucked someone because I was horny for you. I just can’t do this. So I’m moving into the spare room again.”

“Jim come here.”

Jim slid over to Blair and looked at him and wasn’t expecting it. Blair pulled him down for a kiss. Then Jim got out of the SUV and headed into the house. 

Blair followed him into the spare room and he watched Jim get undressed. “Jim, can I watch while you touch yourself?”

“I guess so.” Jim started in, he was working his cock hard. He started breathing harder and harder and he was getting closer. “I’m getting close Chief. I’m getting close.” Blair moved closer and touched the tip of Jim’s cock. Jim made a sweet moaning noise and then Blair touched him again. Blair began to stroke Jim’s cock and Jim let go. Before long Jim was right on the edge again. “Almost there baby.” Jim whispered. And Blair put his mouth over Jim’s cock and heard Jim yell out as he came. 

“Jim, would you come into our room now?” Blair asked. 

Jim hoped that Blair wasn’t just doing this to get him back in the bedroom. He walked in and Blair was naked on the bed. Jim took all of his clothes off and got into bed. 

“What do you want, Blair?”

“I want you to suck me for awhile and then I’d like to fuck you.” Blair’s voice was shaking, so Jim knew he was scared to death. 

“You got it, Love.” Jim went down on Blair and had him moaning and on the verge of coming in record time. Jim pulled away and softly asked, “Would you like to fuck me now?”

“Yes.” Blair was quiet but less shaky. 

“How do you want me?” Jim asked. 

“On your back so I can see you. Okay?” Blair sounded so sweet that Jim got hard just hearing him. 

Jim got on his back and waited for Blair to make the next move. Blair had the lube and started stretching Jim’s sweet hole. “You’re really tight, big man.”

Once Blair got him loosened, Blair entered Jim slowly, inch by inch. Jim was groaning with pleasure and couldn’t believe how great it felt to have Blair back in his body. Then Blair started pounded into Jim’s ass, hitting Jim’s prostate over and over again. Before long both men were ready to come. 

Jim shouted, “I love you baby,” and came all over himself and Blair. 

Blair pounded some more and then came into his favorite place. “I love you back, big man.”

They got up and took a shower and talked awhile. Blair had a ways to go, but he felt pretty good about everything. And Jim had felt damn good to him. As they talked Blair could feel Jim get hard. 

“Jim, do you want to fuck me?” Blair said it so quietly, Jim hardly even heard it. 

“More than anything. But I can wait forever.” Jim added. 

“Fuck me now.”

Jim sucked Blair for awhile and then moved down and began to tongue fuck him. Blair flipped over because he wanted Jim to be able to get a better angle. Jim just kept fucking him with his tongue, opening his cheeks so that Jim could get in further. 

“Lube, Jim.”

Jim flipped Blair over on his back now. He wanted Blair to always know who he was with.

Jim liked a begging Blair. He got the lube and got him all nice and loose. When he thought Blair was ready he slid in so slow, he hardly even moved. But he knew it was hurting Blair. It took a long time, but he finally was in. Once Blair got used to the feeling, he moved his ass back to meet Jim’s cock. Jim pulled Blair’s legs up further over his shoulders and began to fuck intensely. 

“I love fucking you. God, you feel so good. I love this. I love you. I love you so much.”

Blair roared as he came all over the bed. And Jim wasn’t able to last much longer after that. Jim got up and got the wipes and cleaned them both off. 

They snuggled in bed together and slept all night for the first time in a long time. 

Jim heard Jade walk over to Blair’s side of the bed and lift the covers. “Oh Poppy, the penis fairy came to see you. You better get up and go potty.”

“I will Jade. Give me a couple of minutes.” Blair sounded grumpy. 

She then walked over to Jim’s side and said, “Oh Daddy, the Penis Fairy came to see you too. I think it needs to go potty right now.”

“Jade, you go out and watch cartoons. We’ll be out in a moment.” Jim said covering his penis up. 

As soon as she was out the door, Jim locked it and turned Blair over and started to suck his cock. Before long, he came quietly and then took care of Jim’s. 

When Jim got to the station that day, Simon called him into the office. “We need Blair to go to Seattle for the Hearing.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow. And I can’t afford to lose you Jim. So it’s just Blair.” Simon said quietly. 

“He’s afraid for me to go isn’t he?”

“Wouldn’t you be? At any rate, he’s going to be taken care of by our Officer friends that live in Seattle. Don’t worry.” Simon assured him. 

“We made love last night.” Jim said peacefully as he looked out the window. 

“That’s great. Is he doing as well as you’re doing?” Simon was always looking out for Blair. 

“Sir, I would never hurt him in a million years.”

“I know you wouldn’t. But is he doing all right at home? With the kids? With you?” Simon asked. 

“He’s doing great with the kids, still a little stand-offish. But other than that, they’re thrilled to have him home. He and I just had sex last night and this morning. So that’s new. But I can’t tell you how much that did for me.”

“I could have gone all day without hearing that.” Simon laughed along with Jim. 

“Things are going to be all right then?” Simon asked. 

“Yeah, Simon. Things are going to be just fine. I’ve been singing that old song called, “I believe in miracles and I might sing it to him, tonight.” Jim smiled as he walked out. 

That night Jim got the kids settled in bed and told Blair to go and get ready for bed. Jim then went in and got the package and took it to the bedroom. When Blair came out Jim was naked carrying a portable CD player. He slipped in the CD and started it up. He sang along to the music and Blair beamed with joy and love. Blair knew that he was meant for Jim and Jim was meant for him. 

The kids lay in their beds and could hear the song and both giggled, but were really happy that Daddy and Poppy were smiling again. Before long they were singing along. 

 

I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing

Miracles right before my eyes  
You sexy thing got me hypnotized  
Don't stop what ya' doing  
What ya' doing to me  
My angel from above lying next to me  
How did ya' know that I'd be the one  
Been a long time coming only just begun  
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing  
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

How did ya' know I needed you so badly  
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly  
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people  
Now you're lying next to me  
Making love to me

I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing

Only yesterday I was on my own  
Just another day later my mind was blown  
You sexy thing come into my life  
Forever and a day it feels so right  
How did ya' know that I'd be the one  
Been a long time coming only just begun  
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing  
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

How did ya' know I needed you so badly  
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly  
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people  
Now you're lying next to me  
Making love to me

I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

You sexy thing

 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 32


	33. Sullivan's Pub Part 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story Notes: Serious, then fun, then serious. 
> 
> Starts out fairly fun, but turns pretty serious. Happy Ending in sight.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 33  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/12/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I used to write for a damn soap opera. You’re all going to know I did after this one. Whoa. I just can’t stop the angsty writing. 

Story Notes: Serious, then fun, then serious. 

Summary: Starts out fairly fun, but turns pretty serious. Happy Ending in sight.

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

Sullivan’s Pub Part 33  
Patt

(It has been four months since Blair’s attack.)

“Taggert residence.” 

“Connor?” Jim asked. 

“Ellison?”

“Very funny. Since when do you call yourself Taggert?”

“On the phone. I don’t want to confuse Ellie.”

“Does it confuse her to have us call you Connor?” Jim was worried about that now. 

“I think so. Joel asked me to talk to all of you. He thinks it would be better to call me Megan instead.”

“I’ll pass the word here. Now what I called you about is Sullivan’s Pub.” 

“Oh no. You can’t come?”

“No, we can’t. Linda’s sick and you know I only leave the kids with her. So we’ll be staying home. Know that we want to be there.” Jim sounded bummed about it too. 

“Why don’t we have it at your house? We already know the house is clean. You have that huge dining room table and tons of room. What do you think?” Connor was hoping for a positive answer. 

“Let me ask, Blair. Hang on.” Megan could hear them talking in the background and the phone was picked up again, this time by Sandy. “Hey Megan. Jim said we’re calling you that now.”

“Let’s get to the important stuff. What do you think about Sullivan’s at your house?”

Laughing Blair said, “Sure that’s fine. Are you going to call everyone?”

“I’m going to do it now. See you at 7:00. Thanks, Sandy.” Megan threw the phone down quickly to run and tell Joel. 

“Are you sure about this Jim?”

“Why? What’s bothering you?”

“I just wonder how it will be with all of us drinking around our kids. I don’t want them picking up bad habits.” Blair went into Jim’s arms and snuggled. Something they didn’t do that much of lately. 

“You mean like touching penises and so on?” Jim teased. 

“Let’s talk to them first. Call them out here.” Blair ordered as he picked up the house some more. 

“Jade and Drake, come and talk to us.”

“Yes Daddy?” Jade said running into the living room and jumping into his lap. 

“Wait for Drake.” Jim added. 

Drake came around the corner and took a flying jump and landed hard on Jim. “Drake, we should be a little more careful of Daddy’s Penis.” Blair scolded. 

“Yah, you don’t want to hurt Daddy’s penis.” Jade scolded louder.

Jim and Blair both burst out laughing. “Jade honey, there will be no talk of penises tonight. We’re having company over.” Jim said sternly. 

“Oh. Oh. Oh. Who’s coming Daddy?” Her little face was all lit up matching her eyes. 

“Uncle Joel, Auntie Megan, Uncle Brian, Uncle Henry, Uncle Dan, Auntie Sam, Uncle Simon and Auntie Sully.” Blair rattled everyone’s names off and smiled at the look on both of the children’s faces. 

“Can we stay up for a while?” Drake asked first thing. 

“For a little while. Now time for a bath.” Jim picked Drake up and took him into the bathroom. 

Blair could hear the giggling and laughing and was so happy that he had chosen not to give up this life. // And to think I almost did. //

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Drake.”

“How big is my penis going to get? It’s been getting bigger in the morning. Does that mean it’s growing?”

“I have no idea how big it will get. Only your body knows that. And remember the story about the Penis fairy that comes to me and Poppy in the morning? Well it comes to all boys.” Jim was blushing while telling him this. 

“That’s way cool. I like that Penis fairy. I sure wish I could thank her. Is there a cartoon about this fairy? I hope it comes more than once a day.” Drake smiled up at Jim and Jim couldn’t help by smile back. 

“It only comes once a day. And no, there is no cartoon about it. It’s supposed to be a secret.” 

“How could it be a secret, I can feel it in the morning. Can’t you?” Drake asked. 

“Yes, I can feel mine too.”

“When I get one tomorrow, can I show Poppy?”

“No Drake. It’s something you don’t show anyone.” Jim was back to being stern. 

“Bummer.” Drake splashed the water and was making motor boat sounds. 

It amazed Jim how quickly kids get over the things they find important. Well except for Jade. 

Once he dried Drake off and got him in his pajama’s, he called for Jade. 

“I love you Daddy.” Jade nuzzled Jim’s neck as he held her and filled the tub with new water and bubbles. 

“I wanna get naked.” 

Jim set her down and said, “Go ahead. Water’s almost done.”

“Do you love giving me my bath, Daddy?”

“I sure do, sugar.” Jim lifted his little girl up and set her in the tub. 

“I’m ecited about company coming.”

“Me too, Jadey, me too. We haven’t had any company in a long time have we?” Jim asked her as if she were an adult. 

“Is it cuz Poppy was hurt? Was he scared to have people here?”

“I think so.” Jim started to cry. 

“Daddy don’t cry. Please don’t cry. Poppy, daddy’s crying.” Jade screamed for her other father. 

Blair walked in and pulled Jim up and held on to him and said, “What’s wrong babe?”

“I miss you.”

“Jim, I’m right here.”

“Chief, I miss you.”

Blair just held on tight until Jim calmed down and tried to figure out why he would miss him. Blair had been there for the last three months. He had held Jim whenever he could. He had touched him whenever he could. He had fucked him whenever he could. What else did Jim want?

Jim pulled away from Blair and said, “I’m sorry, Chief. I lost it for a moment. Go relax. I’m going to finish up Jade and we’ll be out.”

As soon as they walked out Jim started washing his daughter and she saw the tears still in his eyes and asked, “Doesn’t he love you anymore?”

Jim held her close and began to sob softly into her neck. “Don’t call Poppy. Please?”

“Want me to call Drake?” Jade asked in her scared voice. 

“No, I’m done. I’m sorry. Let’s get out of here and get your pajama’s on. Jim let the water out, dried Jade off, got her dressed and cleaned the tub out. He needed something to keep him fucking busy. Once that was done he walked through and said, “I’m going to take a shower. Be right back.”

While he was in there Jade said, “He knows you don’t love him anymore.”

“What?” Blair said shocked. 

“You’re different now. You don’t tell Daddy you love him, does he Drake?” Jade asked her brother. 

“You don’t say it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t.” Drake said sounding pretty grown up, and defending his Poppy.

“I love Daddy.” Blair said teary eyed. 

“Well you better tell him then.” Jade said on the verge of tears herself. 

The doorbell rang reminding them of their company. Blair opened to the door and everyone came in. 

“What did you do, all wait outside until you were all here together?” Blair laughed about it. 

“As a matter of fact, we did. Got a problem with that?” Simon grumbled. 

Jim walked out and said, “Geeze, I leave the room for a few minutes and there’s a party.” Jim reached down and picked Jade up and said, “I want you to say hello to everyone because it’s bedtime.”

“I’m no stinkin baby, daddy.” Jade wailed. 

Blair walked over and told Jim, “Let them stay up for a little while. It’ll be nice for them to see everyone.”

“Fine.” Jim said angrily and everyone noticed. 

“So what do you have planned for tonight, Connor?” Simon asked. 

“I think it could be a fun one. I know you guys will love making fun of it.” Connor smiled as she walked into the dining room. 

“Need any help, Auntie Megan?” Drake asked sweetly. 

“Why thank you. I need a pen, a pencil and a tablet. If you could get those for me, I’d be set.”

Drake went running for Jim and Blair’s room and they could hear things being thrown around. Jim walked in and said, “Drake, what are you doing?”

“Where do you keep the dang pens and pencils?” He stomped his foot a lot like Jade did.

“Here we go. Right here. This is the pen drawer. This is the pencil drawer. Need anything else, Drakey?” Jim kissed his cheek. 

“A tablet?”

“Right here in the tablet drawer.” Jim handed it to him and Drake said, “Don’t tell Auntie Megan you helped me. Kay?”

“I won’t say a word. Now go have fun.” Drake ran out of the room and left a smiling Daddy. 

When Jim walked into the dining room everyone was in there. He sat down next to Blair and smiled at him. 

“Anybody ready?” Megan yelled.

“Start it before we go home.” Simon said laughing. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: NEW MEDICATIONS FOR WOMEN

The Food and Drug Administration has just announced the following drugs have been released for trial in the US. These are the newest medications for women, available only by prescription.

Connor: D A M I T O L  
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

Simon: Oh god, this is so… , no I didn’t mean that honey. Sully don’t cry. 

Sully: I’m not crying, I’m laughing anyone got one of these?

Dan: I love this one. Sam, do we need these at the house?

Sam: Everyone needs these at the house. 

Connor: I know I need them. 

Joel: I think you’re just fine, Meggie. 

Rafe: I think Joel takes too many Prozac or something. 

Joel: I don’t take anything and you know it. 

Brown: It’s zoloft. 

Joel: It is not. 

Connor: But do you think this drug Damitol would be useful?

Rafe: Oh yeah. Brown needs them big time. 

Brown: Fuck you, Bri. (Realizing that kids are around and panic’s.) Sorry Jim and Blair. 

They all looked and saw the kids coloring and they weren’t paying attention. 

Jim: I think this drug would be good in any home. Helpful. 

Blair: Yeah, same here. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: ST. M O M ' S W O R T  
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

 

Brown: I want this one. 

Rafe: So do I. 

Connor: Me too. 

Joel: Meggie, I can’t believe you’re saying that.

Connor: Joel, if you could have more sex with me what would you do?

Joel: Oh I see. Yes, every home should have this. It could be given up to age 18. 

Jim: I agree with Joel. 

Blair: Same here. 

Dan: Well we don’t have one yet, but I’ll take notes so we remember this. 

Sam: I can imagine wanting this type of pill. (Laughing)

Sully: Me too. 

Simon: Sully, you haven’t even had the baby yet and you’re thinking about ways to shut it up already?

Sully: I plan ahead, big man. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N  
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

Sully: Simon tells me that stuff now. 

Simon: That’s true. Ask Jim and Blair. 

Sully: Was Daryl that bad, Blair?

Blair: No, he’s a wonderful young man. 

Simon: You know damn well he used to be a mouthy little shit.

Blair: I didn’t see him like that, sir.

Simon: You’re probably right, Sandburg. 

Brown: I thought he was a shit. 

Rafe: Me too. 

Simon: Shut up, I didn’t ask you two. 

Jim: He’s a very nice boy. 

Dan: I don’t know him that well, but when I did meet him, I liked him. 

Sam: I’m still waiting to meet him. I think Simon and Sully are embarrassed to have him meet me. 

Simon: That’s not true. Come this weekend and we’ll do something. 

Sully: We’ll call you if we can get a hold of him. 

Connor: It amazes me how we turn these surveys into our personal life. (giggling)

Joel: It’s because most things we discuss have to do with us. 

Simon: So right, Joel.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: P E P T O B I M B O  
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

Connor: Stupid!!!!!!

Rafe: This is a riot. I love it. 

Brown: You love the idea of a woman flirting with you?

Rafe: The idea, Henry. Just the idea. 

Jim: I think it’s stupid. Even if I was straight I would think it was stupid. 

Blair: Same here. 

Dan: I think it’s kind of funny. 

Sam: You’re going to pay for that mister. 

Sully: Stupid!!!!!

Simon: I think it’s a riot. 

Joel: Now Meggie, don’t get angry, but it’s making me laugh.

Connor: You’re going to pay for that. 

Joel: God, I love when she says that. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: D U M E R O L  
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ causing enjoyment of country western  
music.

Brown: There you go, Bri. You can give them this and they’ll be dumb enough to go out with you. 

Rafe: Fuck you, Brown. 

Brown: Don’t you call me Brown. 

Rafe: Fuck you, Henry.

Jim: Guys, my kids are sitting here coloring. 

Rafe: OH shit. I’m sorry Jim.

Blair: Your kids?

Jim: I’m sorry, our kids. It was just a slip of the tongue.

Blair: You know what Rafe said earlier? Take out the Brown and put in Ellison and you’ve got my retort. 

(Jim glares at Blair.) 

Simon: Hey we’re getting off track. 

Sully: I think that would be a dangerous drug, because what if men took it? They would be more helpless then they are. 

Sam: Good one, Sully. 

Dan: Hey, I’m not helpless. 

Sam: Did I say you were? I think not.

Jade: Daddy, I’m getting sleepy.

Jim: Want to put them to bed with me?

Blair: I’m sure you can handle it. 

Jim: Blair, I’d like you to help me.

Blair: Fine. Drake and Jade say goodnight to everyone. 

They went around and gave hugs and kisses. Jade talked awhile to Uncle Simon and then they were off. 

They tucked both children in bed and once they were in the hallway, Jim pushed Blair up against the wall and kissed him. “I love you so much.”

“Jim, they’re waiting on us.” Blair pulled away from Jim and led the way back to the dining room. 

Connor watched them come out of the hallway and saw a quiet, sad Blair. But the man that used to be Jim Ellison was even sadder, if that was possible. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: F L I P I T O R  
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

 

Connor: I want this one. 

Joel: So do I. I think we all want this one. 

Simon: I know that I want it. I need it. Damn it, I deserve it. 

Sully: (laughing) He does deserve it. I want it too. 

Jim: I could use this. 

Blair: I’ve never flipped a driver off in my life. 

Jim: Never?

Blair: Never. 

Rafe: Must be nice to be perfect, Sandburg. 

Blair: I’m not perfect, as you well know. 

Brown: I’ve never flipped anyone off either, Sandburg. Unless you want to count Rafe?

Dan: I have, I will and I want this pill. 

Sam: He’s serious. We’re talking road rage classes. 

Simon: Sandburg, what did you mean, we know you must not be perfect?

Sully: Honey, not now. 

Simon: Answer me.

Blair: Jim do I have to answer this? 

Jim: (Looking at Blair, saw a very scared man.) No, babe. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to. 

Simon: He’s upset about something. Let him talk about it. 

Jim: Connor go to the next one, please?

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: M E N I C I L L I N  
Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

Rafe: Okay, this is funny. (Howling)

Brown: Agreed, Connor where did you get these?

Connor: From a friend. You know me, always good for a laugh. 

Joel: No, honey, remember I left that note in the restroom that said, “For a good time, with a naked woman, including laughs, call Megan Connor.”

Everyone just cracked up laughing except for Blair. Jim was watching him, hoping this didn’t set something off. 

Simon: This one is funny. 

Sully: I can’t believe you think it’s funny. 

Simon: I have a sense of humor. 

Sam: Who would have thunk? It’s a hoot, Meg. 

Dan: I loved this. I would have said that to you at one time. Oh hell who am I kidding? I ask you this now.

Simon: What?

Dan: Do you want to get naked now?

Simon: I set myself up for these things. 

Dan: For a good time, call Sam.

Blair got up from the table and rushed into the bedroom. Everyone looked at Jim. 

Jim: Probably had to piss.

Simon: Go check on him.

Jim: No, leave him alone. 

Connor: Can I check on him?

Jim: No, I’ll go. 

Jim could hear them all talking about being worried as he walked into their room. Blair was lying on the bed. 

“Hey Chief, you all right?”

“I’m fine. I’ve decided that I don’t want to have sex anymore.”

“You’ve decided during the fucking survey that you don’t want to have sex?” Jim was irritated. 

“See, I knew you’d be pissed.”

“Chief, I’m not pissed at you. I’m pissed that you chose this moment to decide this. And am I supposed to stay with you? What? What is the fucking game plan?”

“Yes, I want you to stay with me. I want you to date and be happy. But don’t leave me and the kids.” Blair looked so sad. 

“Blair, I don’t want to date. I don’t want anyone else. Please don’t do this.” Jim laid next to Blair and tried to cuddle a bit. 

“Jim, I don’t want you anymore.” Blair said quietly. 

“Why? Why would you shove me aside? Is there someone else?” Jim asked him. 

Blair barked out an awful sounding laugh and said, “I wish. I truly wish I could be with someone. I can’t love you anymore.”

“Okay, we’ll discuss it tomorrow.” Jim got up, heartbroken but knew he had to get back out to the dining room. “They’re waiting for us, Chief.”

“Okay, I’ll be right out.” 

Jim went in and sat down and knew everyone was looking at him. 

Jim: Start, Connor.

Simon: Well we should wait for Sandburg. 

Jim: He’ll be out in a second. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: B U Y A G R A  
Injectible stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Simon: God, I hope they never come out with this one. 

Sully: Are you saying I spend too much money?

Simon: Never. 

Everyone laughs really hard, knowing how much Sully loves to spend. 

Sam: I think this would be great. 

Dan: Not me. Scared the shit out of me. 

Sam: Come with me a few times honey and you won’t be scared anymore. 

Joel: Meggie already has this. 

Connor: Complaining, Joel?

Joel: Never. 

Jim: I don’t have this, but Sandburg likes to shop. The only place I shop is Home Depot. 

Blair: I do love to shop. 

Rafe: Well don’t take Brown with you, because he’s terrible. 

Brown: Anytime you’re up for a shopping spree, you tell me, Sandburg. I love going. 

Rafe: That’s the problem. 

Everyone laughs. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Extra Strength B U Y-O N E-A L  
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even  
come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

Rafe: I wouldn’t ever come home with a Donnie Osmond CD. 

Brown: Thank god, cuz I’d have to shoot you. 

Simon: This ones funny, Connor. (Laughing and almost snorting his beer)

Sully: You’re so classy honey.

Blair: I would never take this pill. I would lose too much control. 

Sam: No lie, Blair. It would be a nightmare. 

Dan: Actually I’ve heard good things about Dr. Laura.

Jim: You’re joking, right?

Dan: Yes Jim. I have a sense of humor. 

Jim: God, Dr. Laura flashed in front of my eyes for a second and it scared the fuck out of me. 

Rafe: Is she the one that thinks we should be cured?

Jim: Let’s not even talk about it. Just pisses me off. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: J A C K A S S P I R I N  
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

Jim: I would need one of these. I’m bad with holidays. 

Sully: Even with the kids?

Jim: Sandburg helps me remember everything. Thanks, Chief.

Blair: No problem.

Sully: I remember everything. 

Simon: She does and it sucks. I forget everything. I need this pill big time. 

Joel: Me too. If Meggie doesn’t tell me about it, I’m a goner.

Brown: I’m pretty good at remembering things. 

Rafe: I have a calendar that helps me remember.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T  
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

 

Blair: Jim would probably want to get this. 

Jim: Not true. I love your voice. 

Blair: You do?

Jim: Duh. 

Simon: All right stop flirting with each other. 

Sully: I thought it was cute. 

Sam: Me too. 

Dan: Me three. 

Joel: I think they’re the cutest couple and belong together, forever. 

Brown: I agree. 

Rafe: I couldn’t agree with you more, H. 

Connor: I want to hear some more of this flirting. 

Blair: No, that was enough. Go on with the survey. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: S E X C E D R I N  
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

 

Blair: Well here is one that’s perfect for Jim again. 

Jim: No, it’s not.

Blair: What? You going to go sex free?

Simon: What are you talking about?

Jim: Something he shouldn’t be. 

Joel: Is something wrong? We might be able to help. 

Blair: Unless one of you offers sex to Jim, it won’t help. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Dan: It’s not unusual for you to not want sex after something like this.

Jim: Enough already. Move on, Connor. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: R A G A M E T  
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the  
wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

 

Blair: Oh a perfect one again. 

Jim: Shut up.

Brown: Do you rag on him, Sandburg?

Blair: Yes, I do. 

Rafe: Does he listen, because Henry doesn’t listen at all.

Blair: No he doesn’t listen. 

Sully: I would like this, to save me time and trouble. 

Simon: But I love that ragging time with you.

Connor: Oh more sweet talk. 

Joel: I love mine too. 

Dan: I hate getting ragged on, so I would never put up with it. 

Sam: I just ragged on him all the way over here.(giggling)

Dan: I thought that was sweet talk. 

Sam: Sometimes with us it’s hard to tell. 

Connor: Well that was the last one, so I say we have just nice talk. 

Joel: Sounds good to me. I love you baby. 

Connor: (Leaning in for a kiss) Thank you, sugar. Jim, you’re going to be first. Tell us one thing about Blair that you love so much it hurts.

Jim: (Looking panicked.) His heart. He loves everyone so much, that sometimes it takes my breath away. He’s a perfect soul and deserves to be treated as such. And I won’t fucking sleep in a different bedroom. I won’t give you up, Blair. I have to have you with me. I need your body next to mine. I need to hear your heartbeat. I love you Chief and I’ll never stop loving you. 

Everyone looked over at Blair and saw the tears falling down his face. 

Blair: I love you Jim, but I don’t think I can do this.

Jim: I can’t leave you. I won’t date someone else. You have to want me. Oh god, don’t you want me?

Blair: Yes, I want you. I need you, but something is scaring me.

Jim: If I back off will that help?

Blair: Maybe. We’ll talk about it later on. 

Connor: Okay, Dan and Sam are up. 

Dan: I love Sam’s big heart. She’s ready to accept anything and anyone at anytime. I love you Samantha. You’re my life and my love. 

Sam: (Kissing Dan) I love you back. You’ve accepted me into your family of friends and into your life. For this, I’ll always be grateful. You’re my best friend and lover. Thank you. 

Dan kissed her this time. Jim looked sadly at Connor. She saw the pain in his eyes. Jim wanted Blair to kiss him like he used to. 

Connor: Okay, Sully and Simon are up next. 

Sully: Simon you’re not only my best friend, but you have given me a ton of best friends. You’ve taken me into your heart and life and let me share in your happiness. I love you with everything I am. 

Simon: (Took his glasses off and wiped his eyes.) I love you so much Sully that I can’t remember a time when you weren’t part of my life. Thank you for sharing in my world. I’ll love you forever. 

Sully and Simon began kissing. 

Connor: Rafe and Brown! You’re up! (Snickering.)

Rafe: Henry, you’re my best friend. I’ve loved you for years and didn’t even know what that feeling was. Then one day it finally became clear. Thank god, we’re together. I love you more than I ever thought I would love anyone. I love the way you watch me when I’m naked. I love the way you make love to me. I love everything that involves you. I’ll be in your life forever. 

Brown: Bri, you have no idea how wonderful you look when you’re naked. I was so hot for you before I saw you naked. Now that I’ve seen you in the nude, it’s even hotter. I love the way you kiss me. Not just on my lips, but on my neck, shoulders and chest. That not only turns me on, but reminds me of who I’m with. I love being with you. Thank you for loving me, Bri. I’ll love you forever too. 

Brown and Rafe start kissing and it seems to be moving up a step. Finally Simon had to say, “Knock it off.”

Connor: Joel, you are my life, my every breath, my future and my past. You’re everything to me. You’ve given me something no one else could. She is precious, Joel. You accepted me even at my weirdest and I’ll always be grateful for that. I love you so much, honey bear. Never leave me. 

Joel: I’ll never leave you. You’re the other half of my soul. I adore you. I love you. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world and sometimes I wonder why you’re settling with me. But then I realize you love me too. It’s not one sided. You’re not doing it to be kind. You love me. And I love you. We were made for each other, Meggie. And I won’t ever leave you. 

Everyone took their mates and left for the evening. Jim decided that he was going to have to talk with Blair. 

“Can we still sleep in the same bedroom, Chief?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Blair, I can’t sleep in another room while we’re in the same house. I’ll have to move.” Jim was so sad. 

“Maybe that’s a good idea. To move for awhile.” Blair suggested. 

“You’re serious?” Jim was shocked. 

“Yes, I’m serious.”

“What about the kids. They won’t take it well. You know that.” Jim was freaking out big time. 

“Maybe you could pick them up in the morning for school and pick them up at the sitter after you get off. Then they would feel like it’s almost normal.”

Jim wanted to sob. He wanted to scream, but instead he got a suitcase out and began to pack. 

“While you’re packing do you want me to call some hotels?” Blair asked trying to be helpful. 

Jim grabbed the phone and dialed Rafe’s house and waited. 

“Rafe.”

“Rafe, can I stay there for awhile?”

“Who is this?” Rafe asked in all seriousness. 

“Ellison.”

“Sure, we’ve got a spare room. When are you coming down?”

“About 20 minutes or so. That all right?” Jim was staying so fucking brave. 

“Perfect, come on down.” Rafe hung the phone up feeling sad. 

Brown looked at him and said, “Ellison?”

“Yeah, and I swear to god, it didn’t sound like him at all.”

Brown hugged Rafe and said, “Maybe it was because he was crying.”

“Might be from the opposite. I don’t think he was crying at all. Trying to be tough and all of that.” Rafe looked like he was going to cry. 

Back at Ellison-Sandburg’s, Blair asked, “You’re staying with Rafe?”

“Yeah. I’ll be closer for the kids and everything.” Jim finished up packing and closed it. 

“I’ll pick them up tomorrow morning. Sleep well, Chief.” And a broken-hearted Jim Ellison walked out the door. 

Jim drove down to Rafe and Brown’s and knocked on the door. Rafe showed him to the spare room and helped him get things unpacked. As they were doing this he could see Jim shaking. 

“Ellison, come here.” Rafe said as he pulled him into his arms. Rafe watched him shatter like a very delicate glass plate. Brown came in and got behind him and was hugging him and kissing him. 

After about an hour, Rafe led Jim to the bed and got him undressed and tucked him in bed. Jim was asleep in moments. 

Brown and Rafe slept in each other’s arms and made love twice, just to celebrate them still being together. 

Jim heard them making love and remembered what it was like to sleep with someone that did love you. How long had Blair been pretending? God, how selfish was Jim to not notice? 

In the morning, Jim showered and dressed for work and ran by the house to pick up the kids. They were crying and Blair was trying to calm them down. 

“You’re getting avorced aren’t you?” Drake asked. 

“Drake honey, don’t worry about that right now.” Jim assured him. 

“Just tell us if you’re getting one or not.” Drake demanded. 

“Poppy, are we getting avorced?” Jim sounded so young. 

“Yeah, I think we are.” Blair answered and walked back into his bedroom, leaving Jim to deal with the kids. 

As he was getting them into the SUV, Blair came out and said, “The house is yours after today. I needed to get my things out.”

“Sure.” Jim said coldly and then got in and buckled up. “Daddy, you didn’t do up my seat belt.” Jade said in a whiny voice. 

“Sorry baby. Here I come.” Jim got them settled right this time and then drove them to their schools.” Jade was excited to get to hers, but Drake cried at his. He begged Jim to not leave him. 

“Drake, I’m not leaving you.”

“Daddy, I love you so much.”

Jim held on to Drake and said, “I love you back. Now I want you to do well in school today and I’ll pick you up at the sitters.”

“Have a good day, Daddy.” Drake walked into school sadder than Jim had ever seen him be. 

Jim arrived at work and no one said a word to him. So he figured that everyone knew about he and Sandburg by now. He no sooner sat at his desk and Simon hollered, “Ellison, my office. Now.”

Jim walked in and said, “Sir?”

“Anything you want to share with your boss?” Simon glared at him. 

“No sir.”

“Jim, how could you leave him? He’s the best thing that ever happened to you.” 

“Sir, I really have to get busy finishing my work up. Is there anything else you need?”

“No. Get out of here.” Simon was pissed and Jim knew it. But he wasn’t going to tell Simon about their lives. He wasn’t going to tell Simon that it was Blair’s idea. 

He sat back at his desk and got busy. Blair walked in about ten minutes later and said, “Hey Ellison.”

“Hey Sandburg.”

And that’s about all they said to each other all morning. At lunch Jim asked, “Want to go have lunch?”

“No, I’m having lunch with Marcy in Records.” Blair stood up and left. 

Jim was just sitting at his desk feeling sorry for him when a very nice looking man came walking into the bullpen. He went over and hugged Rafe. 

Rafe looked over at Jim and Jim looked down quickly hoping he wasn’t caught in the act. It had been a long time since they had had sex. 

“Ellison, this is my brother, Alan Rafe. This here is my good friend, Jim Ellison.”

Both men shook hands and Rafe said, “Hey, Jim could you take Alan to lunch for me? I’ve got something going on here.”

“Sure. Alan where would you like to go?” Jim grabbed his things and they got on the elevator. 

They ended up at a Chinese food place, that Jim loved. They got a lot of different things and then ate off each other’s plates. 

“So what do you do for a living, Alan?”

“I’m a teacher. High school teacher, to be exact.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. Usually it’s a great job.” Alan took some more food off of Jim’s plate. They were laughing and talking and having a hell of a good time.

Jim looked at his watch and said, “Shit. I’m going to be late. Are you coming back to the station?”

“Yes, I’m hanging around Brian today.”

“Okay, let’s get back there.” Jim walked towards the SUV and Alan said, “How about dinner tonight?”

“I have two kids, and they’re small. And I’m on the rebound. So probably not.” Jim hurried and got in so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. 

When they parked in the garage, Jim wasn’t really paying attention but Blair was. He was sitting in his car eating a sandwich. 

Alan moved closer to Jim and said, “I really enjoy your company.”

“I enjoy yours too, but like I said, I think it’s too fast for me.”

Alan got closer yet and kissed Jim. Jim didn’t push him away. In fact, Jim seemed to be liking it. They kissed for awhile and Jim finally did pull away and said, “Talk to you upstairs.”

Jim walked to the bullpen and sat down and started working on the case he was on before he left. 

Blair walked in and said, “Good lunch?”

“Yeah, I took Rafe’s brother. We went for Chinese. It was good.” Jim was rambling. 

“So like dessert was in the SUV?” Blair said it coldly and it scared Jim a little. 

“Chief, it’s not…”

“Stop right now. It was what it was. NO one can have you. Do you understand? NO one touches you. NO one kisses you and NO one fucks you.” Blair was whispering but made Jim get goose bumps from hearing this. 

“Chief, you told me to find someone else.”

“Too fucking bad. You’re not going to have anyone else. Understood?”

“Yeah, it’s understood.” Jim said quietly. 

The elevator opened up and Alan walked into the bullpen and headed over to Jim. “Hey Jim, I realized, I could come over to your house and have dinner. How does that sound?”

Blair shoved Alan against the wall and said, “You won’t be taking him anywhere. You won’t be having dinner at his house. You won’t be seeing our children. Stay away from him.”

Jim pulled him away from him and said, “Sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for Jim?” He had that crazy look on his face again. 

“I was apologizing to him, for not being able to make dinner.” Jim said as he backed up. 

Alan looked over at his brother and smiled and gave him a thumbs up. 

“I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t know what happened.” Blair whispered to Jim. 

Rafe went in and told Simon that the plan worked and he needed to send the guys home. 

“Ellison and Sandburg, go ahead and take the day.” Simon called out. 

“Hot damn, come on big boy. We’re going home. I’m going to show you who’s boss.” Blair said shoving him into the elevator. 

“Meet you down there, Jim. I forgot my backpack.” Blair walked over to get his backpack and saw everyone talking and smiling. Blair walked up and said, “Did I miss something?”

They all jumped and said, “No.”

Blair pulled Alan down for a good kiss. “I had to see what he saw in those lips. Nice fucking lips.”

And Blair went downstairs. This was going to be so much fun. He was going to show Jim who he belonged to. Thank god for that. 

Blair was hard all the way downstairs. When he got in the SUV he saw Jim was hard too. Oh, Blair was going to make Jim suffer the whole way home. 

Upstairs in Major Crimes Rafe said, “Alan thank you so much. We had to do something. And everyone agreed you’re good looking enough to draw attention from Jim and Blair.” 

Alan laughed and said, “You just remember this big brother. Because I have no date, no good time planned and just got kissed by two good looking guys. Fuck.”

“Or not.” Simon laughed. 

“Wait, there’s a guy down in traffic that’s real nice. Want me to set it up?” Brown asked. 

“How do you know he’s nice?” Rafe was pissed off. 

“You introduced me, you nut.” Henry loved a jealous Brian. 

“Oh yeah. He is nice. You’ll like him.” Rafe added. 

“So men, do you think Jim and Blair are okay for now?” Simon asked. 

“I think they’ll be fine. Blair just had to find his place again. I think he found it. He’s fucking jealous of anyone around Jim. Things will be just ducky.” Rafe laughed as he walked away. 

“Wait a minute. Who’s going to introduce that guy to me?” Alan asked. 

All three men walked away laughing. 

Things could have worked out a lot differently. But thankfully Blair came to his senses and Jim’s going to let Blair take over for a while. 

Don’t you just love when everyone’s in love? I do too. 

Thank you for reading.   
Patt


	34. Sullivan's Pub Part 34

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 34  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/15/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: What is it with me and angst? Geeze. At least this one’s half and half. 

Story Notes: Serious, then fun, then very fun. 

Summary: Starts out serious, but gets very fun. 

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 34  
Patt

 

“Jim, you’re going to have to talk to me eventually.” 

“I don’t have to talk to anybody. Stay away from me.” Jim stormed into Drake’s room and started to clean it. 

“Drake, Daddy is cleaning your room again.” Blair called out. 

“Daddy, it’s already clean. Please don’t throw out any more of my stuff.” Drake held on to Jim’s legs like a life-line. 

“Drake, I’m just cleaning up a little.”

“Daddy, the last time, Poppy had to buy me new toys.” Drake was not letting go of Jim. 

“Fine, I’ll go clean out Jade’s room.” Drake let go and watched him go into Jades room. 

Soon, Jade came wailing into the bedroom begging her Daddy not to throw anything away.

“I’m going in my room where things are my things.” Jim stomped off into the spare room. 

“Why is Daddy still sleeping in there, Poppy?” Jade asked quietly. 

“Because he’s a butthead.” Blair replied. 

Jim opened up his door and said, “I’m not a butthead. Don’t tell our children that.” Then slammed the door again. 

“Why is he, Poppy?” Drake asked. 

“Because Poppy didn’t think he wanted Daddy anymore, but he did. And now Daddy doesn’t want me.” Blair was suddenly so sad. He should be happy. He had brought Jim home and fucked him senseless. But Blair could tell that Jim wasn’t happy. 

Jim opened the door and said, “Kids, can I borrow Poppy for a minute?”

“We’ll go play in our rooms.” Both kids ran off laughing. 

“What’s wrong, Jim?” Blair asked showing great concern. 

Jim pulled him in and sat him on the bed. “We’re going to have a talk and no one is leaving until we’re both happy.” Jim then shut the door. 

“Jim, I was pushy and then I pushed you away when you wanted me. I can’t keep doing that to you.” 

“Blair, I can handle it. I can go without sex for a long time. As long as I know you love me, I’ll be all right. Do you love me?”

“Yes, I love you.” Blair moved into Jim’s arms and stood there waiting for Jim to hold him. 

“Blair, can I move back in our room?” Jim whispered into Blair’s ear. 

“Yes. I want you to more than anything.”

“Wanna help me move back in?” Jim smiled down at him and got a smile back. 

“Yes, I’ll help you. Are we both happy now? Jim, do you love me?” Blair suddenly realized he hadn’t asked Jim that. 

“Yes, I love you, Blair.”

“Like you used to?”

“More than I used to. You’re a greater man now.” Jim leaned down for a kiss. “Stronger and more loving.” 

The two of them worked side by side, along with two little ones and got Jim moved back into their bedroom. Jim and Blair felt that their lives were going to be good again. 

Jim was so tired he didn’t even hear Jade come in, the next morning. He opened his eyes and she was checking out his penis as usual. At least he now wore boxers to sleep in. Drake walked in and said, “Jade leave Daddy’s penis alone.”

Jade then walked around and picked the covers up and checked out Blair’s. “Poppy, you better wake up. The Fairy came.” Jade kissed his cheek and smiled. 

“I’m getting up now.” Blair pulled himself out of bed and she followed him into the bathroom. “Jade, you don’t come in when I’m in here.”

She started sniffing and softly crying as she got in bed with Jim. 

Drake was draped across Jim and fell asleep. Jim didn’t think it got much better than this. Drake woke up and looked up at Jim and said, “I have it again.” He had such a huge smile on his face, it wasn’t even funny. 

“You have what again?” Jim asked. Blair was in the bathroom smiling because he just knew what Drake was talking about. 

Drake whispered, “The fairy came again.”

“Oh.”

“I have to show Poppy.” Drake jumped off the bed and went into the bathroom. “Poppy, the fairy came. The fairy came. I want you to see it. Daddy saw it the other day.”

“We shouldn’t be looking at each other’s penises Drake.” Blair was using his father tone. 

Drake went back to bed with Jim and moped. “I love you, Daddy.”

Blair walked out and said, “Drake, want to take a shower with me?”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll wait for Daddy.” Drake had a tone in his voice that Jim didn’t like. 

“No Drake, I’m showering with Jade. You go with Poppy.” Jim got up and Jade started following him into the other bathroom. 

“Poppy, I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. I love you little man.”

“I love when you call me little man.”

“You do?” Blair hugged him so tight, Drake made a funny noise. “I love you so much, little man. So much.”

“I’m sorry I was mean to you.” Drake hung his little head. 

“We’re all mean sometimes. Don’t worry about it.” Blair kissed him again and led him to the shower. 

“Is today still our day?”

“Of course it is, silly boy. Now let’s get this show on the road.” This made Drake laugh all the more. 

Jade was asking Jim the very same thing in their bathroom. “Daddy, what we doing today?”

“Want to see a movie?”

“Nope.”

“What would you like to do?” Jim said as he washed her hair. 

“I’d like to get a dang penis but you won’t let me.”

“All right. Enough with the penis talk. Where would you like to go?”

“Can I get my ears pierced?”

“No.”

“You’re mean.” Came the sad reply. 

“Yes, I am, but I’m the boss.” Jim smiled down at her. 

“Then I don’t care where I go.” 

“Blair, where are you and Drake going?”

We’re going to the Children’s Museum. Want to tag along?” Blair came by and winked at Jim. 

“Does that sound fun, Jade?” Jim asked hoping they could make it a family day. 

“Yes.” She finished getting ready and before long they were on their way. 

They had a wonderful day and evening. They went out for dinner and then back to the house for Ice Cream Sundae’s. The kids were dead on their feet at 9:00. Jim carried Drake into his room and got him undressed and tucked him in. Blair carried Jade and did the same. 

The Daddies went to bed and made love twice, to make up for some of the time they missed. 

“I love you so much, baby.” Jim whispered. 

“I love you back, big man.”

“We did lock the door, right? Because Jade is on her way to our room.”

“OH god, I hope we did.” Blair pulled the covers up and hoped. 

Jade whispered, “Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?” Then he heard soft crying. 

Chief, I have to get up. She’s upset about something.” Both men got up and cleaned themselves and put their boxers back on. 

Jim opened the door and crawled into Jim’s arms. “Want to tell me about it?”

“No, I just want you to hold me.” Jade cried little tiny sobs until she fell asleep. 

Jim woke up a few times when Jade crawled on top of him. Blair was sleeping right next to him and he didn’t think life got much better than this, either. 

“What you doing Daddy?”

“I have to go to the bathroom, really bad.” Jim knocked her over to Blair and ran for the bathroom and slammed the door. 

He was sitting on the toilet, with the lid closed when Blair came in. “So what’s going on?”

“Jesus, I was hard with Jade in our bed. Blair, she can’t sleep with me anymore.”

“Oh my, I see the problem.” Blair went down to his knees and pulled Jim’s cock out and began to suck it. Jim was so close he thought he would die and Blair moved away. 

“What? What are you doing?” Jim whined. 

“I want you to fuck me.”

“I could do that.” Jim began preparing him and entered smoothly and gently. But once Blair was used to him, Jim opened up and pounded his lover with no mercy. Blair yelled Jim’s name and Jim yelled Blair’s a few minutes later. 

Blair pulled away and said, “We need to get showered and get the kids ready for school. Big day today.”

“What?”

“Today, is the big ceremony at the Sitters for all of the children that have Parents that are Policeman or Fireman.” 

“What time is that?” Jim wondered as he dressed. 

“It’s at 6:00, but we’ll play it by ear.” Blair kissed him and then got dressed too. 

The day was a nightmare for all of the cops. There was a killer loose and they had a lead, but the asshole kept slipping away. At 5:45 Jim and Rafe walked into the Station and got on the elevator. Blair and Brown had gone to the ceremony. Jim reached out and held Rafe’s hand. Brian looked at Jim and said, “Is there something you need to tell me?”

“Brian, something’s wrong. Help me stay in one piece. Okay?” Jim sounded scared to death. 

“Sure, you know I’m here for you.”

Both men stepped off the elevator and Simon said, “Gentlemen will you please come in my office?”

Both men knew that things were bad, if he was being nice and asking kindly. This wasn’t good. 

“Sir?” Rafe asked while Jim stood beside him waiting. 

“Our suspect somehow found out about the party at the Day Care Program for the Police and Fireman’s Children. So he’s there now. He has 27 children hostage and is asking for a great deal in return.

“Are we giving him anything?” Jim asked. 

“Of course, we have to get those kids out of there.” Simon paced in front of the window. 

“What about Brown and Sandburg?” Rafe asked with a shaky voice. 

“They’re hostages too. They sounded a little worse for wear when I spoke to both of them.” Simon was as upset as Ellison and Rafe were. 

“Do we get to speak to our children?” Jim asked standing straight and unyielding. 

“Come on, there’s a café across the street, and we’ve got everything set up there. All parents have been notified. Oh shit, here comes Matt Dawson.”

Matt Dawson was a traffic cop, first year and had a set of little twins at the day care program. He was only 26 and lost his wife two months earlier. 

He opened the door and said, “Captain Banks? Have you heard anything yet?”

Jim put his arm around him and said, “We’ll explain on the way over. Come with us.” Jim was amazed at how easily Matt let himself be comforted by the older cop. 

“Is Ellie there today too?” Jim asked worried for his namesake. 

“No, remember Connor took her for pictures and a Mummy and Ellie day.” Simon reminded Jim. 

“Thank god, not all of the kids were in there.” Rafe said sadly, thinking about his own. 

“We’ve got swat in place, we’ve got the FBI, we’ve got special negotiators. We’re set. So, just sit back and try to relax.” Simon was trying to make all of them feel good. 

When they got there Jim listened in and heard Masters tell Blair, “You’re going to take these friggin crying babies out there. But if you don’t come back, you’re partner is dead. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I’ll come right back.” Blair answered as he picked up both babies. 

Jim looked at Matt and said, “Get ready, you’re babies are on the way out.”

Blair came running out of the building carrying the twins. He handed them off and ran right back to the building. Blair knew that Jim would know what was going on. 

“Good boy. Now, tell me which kid we’re going to use for an example.” Masters yelled. 

“I’m not choosing. I can’t choose. They’re children, for gods sake.” Blair couldn’t believe what this man wanted. 

Masters hit Blair hard up side the head with his gun, three times and blood was everywhere. Jim heard it, but wasn’t sure of who it happened to. Then Jim heard Drake say, “Leave my Poppy alone.” Followed by a wailing Jade crying for her Daddy to come and help them. 

Masters hit Drake next and knocked him to the floor and then shot Henry when he came to his aid. “I hate you, I hate you. I bet you ain’t go no penis.” Jade screamed out. 

“He ain’t got no penis?” One of the other kids asked. 

“I don’t think so.” Jade cried over Blair and Henry. “Daddy, Uncle Henry is shotted. The bad man hit Drakey and there is blood everwhere. I don’t know if Poppy will wake up. Poppy wake up. Poppy, Daddy wants to see you.”

“You stupid little girl, what are you doing? You talking to a ghost?” Masters started laughing.

“I ain’t no stupid girl. You’re a stupid boy.” Jade screamed at him. 

Masters slapped her hard and she started crying for her Daddy. “Daddy, he’s mean. He’s going to hurt us all.”

“All right kid, that does it. I don’t want you here anymore. I’ll use you for an example. Say goodbye to your Poppy.” Masters grabbed her and Blair said, “Please?”

“She’s got a big mouth. Should have taught her to shut up.” Jim had tears running down his face and he turned to the swat man, Ian Miller. “Let me take the shot.”

“You got it Ellison.” Jim wiped his face clean and got ready to take the shot. As soon as Masters walked out of the Center, Jim got him in his sights. Masters pulled the gun up to shoot Jade and Jim pulled the rifle’s trigger. Masters went down like a sack of dirt. 

Jim handed the gun to the SWAT member and started running for the building. Jade came running to him at the same time.

The FBI walked over to the SWAT guy and said, “Who gave the order to shoot.”

“Sir, I’m Lt. Ian Miller and I thought I heard the order. Was it not given?”

“So you’re the one that took the shot?”

“Yes, I took the shot. I was doing my job, sir.” Ian said calmly. 

Jim heard all of this and wondered why Ian was saying he shot him. Well, they would figure it out later.

“Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.” Jim picked her up and tried to stay in one piece. God, she was so precious. 

Jade yelled over Jim’s shoulder, “Will you look at that bad guy? I think, he ain’t got no penis.”

Jim could hear some much needed laughter. When he walked up to the Center, he handed Jade to one of the officers. He walked in with his gun drawn to make sure everything was all right. He found Brown and Sandburg, both unconscious, but breathing. Jim called for EMT’s. Simon walked in and saw that Drake was all right too. Just busted up a little bit. 

Drake wouldn’t leave Jim’s arms when he woke up and Jim didn’t want him to. 

“Where’s Poppy?” Drake asked, sadly looking around. 

“They took he and Uncle Henry to the hospital and we’ll see them in a little bit. I have to take you up for a check up too.” 

Lt. Ian Miller walked over to Jim and Drake and said, “This is my little girl, Shawna. She’s five. You saved her life, Ellison. That’s why I gave you the gun. I know you’re the better shot. I don’t care what everyone said, I know what you are. Thank you for my little girls life.”

“Hey Shawna. I’m glad to meet you. My name is Jim Ellison and I’m Jade and Drake’s Daddy. Do you know them?” Jim was smiling while talking to her. 

“Everbody knows Jade.” Shawna laughed. 

Ian and Jim both laughed at that. “Thank you again, Jim.”

“Thank you, Ian. Without that chance, I might have lost her.” 

Everything was done and Jim drove he and Drake to the hospital. Matt Dawson was there when they arrived. “Hey Matt, are the babies all right?”

“Yeah, they’re great. I just came up to thank Brown and Sandburg. God, I would have just died if something happened to them.” 

Jim walked into the exam room, while Matt kept watch over Jade and Drake. “Hey Chief.” Jim leaned down and kissed his mate tenderly, and somewhat gently. 

“The doc said I can go home.” Blair said sitting up. 

“Good, cuz those kids wouldn’t go anywhere without you.” Jim kissed him again. 

Jim helped him get dressed and before long, they were on their way. Once they arrived home, Blair went to bed. Jim got the kids bathed and ready for bed. 

“Daddy, can we sleep with you and Poppy tonight?” Drake asked. 

“Let me see how Poppy feels about that.” Jim walked into their room and whispered, “Baby, the kids want to sleep with you. How do you feel about having them in the same bed?”

“I want them here. Jim we almost lost them. Bring them close to us.”

Jim called the kids and they jumped softly into bed. “Poppy, can I sleep by you?” Drake asked. 

“Sure.” Blair cuddled up with him right off. 

“Daddy you have to have me.” Jade said quietly. 

“Jadey, I don’t have to have you, I want to have you.” Jim pulled her in close and before long all four of them were sound asleep. 

At 3:00 a.m. Jim woke up and looked at the clock. He listened and knew that Rafe was at the door. He wasn’t knocking, he was just leaning and breathing hard. Jim slid out of bed and put his jeans on and went to the door. When he opened the door, Rafe jumped. 

“Hey.” Jim said quietly. 

“Hey. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m sorry.” Rafe started to pull away from the door. 

“Come on in. Want a cup of coffee?”

“That would be good.” Rafe walked in and shut the door quietly. He was being so careful not to wake Blair or the kids up, that it made Jim smile. 

Once the coffee was going, Jim walked over to him and said, “So how is Henry?”

Jim watched Rafe’s face change through many different emotions. But they ended up looking sad as hell and he began to sob softly. 

Jim pulled him in for a good hug and Rafe hugged him back. “I was so fucking scared, Ellison. So fucking scared.”

“I was too, Rafe. I was too.”

“I wanted to leave him. Because I don’t like being that scared. But that fucking scared me even worse. I’m a mess.” Rafe was starting to wind down. 

Jim poured him his coffee and they sat and talked a long while. Rafe’s cell went off and he answered it, “Rafe.”

“Hey baby, why aren’t you here?” Brown asked. 

“I was having a nervous breakdown and Ellison was helping me through it. I love you.”

“Tell him I said thank you, give him a kiss and come home. You talk to me. Not Jim.” Brown wasn’t giving him any options. 

Rafe stood up and said, “Well, the boss has spoken.” Jim stood and Rafe kissed him. “That’s from Henry. Thank you.” And Rafe went home to be with his love. 

Jim cleaned the kitchen up and smiled all the way into the bedroom. When he got into bed Jade said, “I missed you Daddy.”

“Shhh. Go to sleep Jadey.” Jim kissed her on her temple and she went right back to sleep. 

At the bullpen the next day, Connor asked Simon, “Sir, can we have a Sullivan’s Pub tonight. I think we all need it?”

“Ask them, it’s fine with me.”

“Excuse me.” Connor yelled over the bullpen. “Would anyone like to meet up for our weekly Sullivan’s Pub, tonight?”

“Let me call Linda.” Jim said as he picked up the phone. 

Brown walked by and said, “Ask her to ask Brenda if she can watch Lancy.”

By the time the day was over with, everyone had their sitters and they would all meet at 7:00. 

Jim and Blair walked in and everyone threw popcorn at them, because it was ten after seven. 

“Geeze, we had to wait for Linda, ya know?” Blair teased. 

Connor: So is everyone ready?

Simon: Does it matter?

Sully: Oh don’t start already. You were all excited about getting out tonight. 

Connor: Well tonight we’re going to be discussing funny quotes. You’re going to tell me if you think they’re right, if you think they’re wrong or if you just think they’re stupid. 

Simon: Let me save you some time here.

Everyone: Knock it off, Simon. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Quotes about Sex:  
Connor: "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen. 

Blair: Oh god, that’s too funny and too true. Next to Jim, I like that the best. 

Jim: I agree. 

Blair: With me or with Woody?

Jim: With Woody. 

Simon: I think this ones stupid. 

Sully: I think this works for women too. 

Simon: What?

Sully: Do you think that you’re the only one that can make me come? 

Simon: I was hoping. 

Rafe: Do you have different types of vibrators? 

Simon: Don’t ask my wife this shit. 

Sully: Yes, I do Rafe and I have a good time with them. 

Sam: Sully, same here. 

Dan: But you don’t have to use it all the time, right?

Sam: No, darlin, I have you for all of the other times. 

Dan: Thank god. 

Rafe: Henry and I have all sorts of toys.

Joel: Really?

Brown: Yup. 

Connor: Like what?

Simon: I’m not comfortable knowing this stuff. Call Joel and Connor at home tomorrow. 

Dan: Me too. 

Sully: Me three. 

Jim: We already know. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid."   
Denis Leary. 

Blair: Oh this is so Jim. 

Jim: What? What is so Jim?

Blair: You need new clothes. 

Jim: And like you don’t?

Simon: This one’s stupid. 

Sully: Honey, it’s because you have gorgeous suits on all the time. 

Sam: Dan looks fantastic in jeans, so I have no complaints. 

Dan: Sam looks good with or without clothing, so I have no complaints. 

Joel: Well my clothes must not be too bad or I wouldn’t have gotten laid.

Jim: See, he makes a good point Chief. If my wardrobe was that bad, why would you have slept with me?

Blair: Geeze, I was horny.

Jim: Thanks a lot. 

Rafe: I always look great. 

Brown: We know that. I could use some new things. Maybe you can help me shop this weekend. 

Rafe: I love shopping. Lancy can get something new too. 

Jim: Does she like shopping as much as Rafe?

Brown: More. I’m going to be in big trouble. 

Simon: I think we’re getting off course here.

Joel: And this is new? 

Simon: I think it’s time to move on.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself." Emo Philips. 

Jim: Screams Sandburg. 

Blair: Excuse me?

Joel: Blair, it really does. 

Sully: It used to. 

Simon: Yes, it used to. Now he only fucks Jim, his non-moving mate. 

Jim: Excuse me?

Rafe: I like Emo Philips humor. This works for Sandburg. 

Brown: I think it works for me too. 

Sam: Don’t feel lonely. Thank god Dan came along or I’d still be fucking anything that didn’t move. 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Dan: I’m glad that you let me fuck you too. 

Joel: This is a little bit Meggie. And I’m sure as hell not going to complain. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."   
Charles Pierce.

Simon: (Falls off his chair laughing) This is perfect. My god, I want a copy of this one, Connor. 

Sully: It is pretty funny. 

Sam: I want to hear how these guys felt about telling their Mom’s. 

Dan: I think maybe this might not be the place. 

Blair: I told my mom and she’s all right with it. She’s not thrilled. But she’s all right. 

Jim: That’s my baby. King of denial. 

Blair: Fuck you. 

Brown: All right, I knew it would be Hairboy. 

Sam: Jim, how about your Mom?

Jim: I haven’t seen my mom since I was ten. 

Sam: Oh god, I’m so sorry. 

Jim: It’s all right. I just use Henry’s and Blair’s. 

Brown: And my Mama just loves him. 

Rafe: Actually my Mom loves him too. She loves Henry also. It’s me that she’s not too wild about.

Joel: My mother is gone ten years now. I wish she could have been here to meet Meggie and Ellie. 

Connor: You’re such a sweet man. I love you so much.

Simon: I’m just thanking god, I’m black. 

Brown: Hey wait. I’m black and gay. So what’s the deal?

Simon: I don’t care as long as it’s not catching. Time to move on.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." Woody Allen. 

 

Jim: This happened to me more times than I care to admit to. 

Blair: Jim, you just admitted to it. 

Jim: Fuck you. 

Joel: I’ve been turned down many times too, Jim. 

Rafe: Me too. 

Brown: Same here. 

Simon: Well, I haven’t been turned down that often. 

Dan: I’ve been turned down way more times than I’ve been laid. Until Sam. 

Sam: First of all, I’m glad I have you honey. Second of all, if Woody Allen asked me to sleep with him I’d say no too. 

Sully: I was just thinking the very same thing. Do I look like some really slow Asian child?

Connor: (Falls out of her chair.) That is too funny. I can’t stand that girl. And what is with him? Like he’s become as slow witted as she is suddenly.

Blair: Okay, if I say this are you all going to throw something at me?

Joel: Depends on what you say. 

Blair: I’ve never been turned down.

Jim: Something new I can add to my list. 

Blair: Oh fuck you. 

Jim: No.

Everyone: Falls on the floor laughing.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture." Robin Williams. 

Blair: I love this. Jim does this all the time. 

Jim: I break in to homes and rearrange furniture?

Blair: No, I go to bed at night and everything is a certain way and then I wake up in the middle of the night and “bam” it’s in a new place.

Brown: Well I don’t rearrange. 

Rafe: I don’t either. 

Joel: But do you break and enter?

Dan: (Howling) Good one, Joel.

Simon: I think you’re all nuts.

Sully: Honey, that’s why you love us. 

Simon: I love you, I don’t love them. 

Connor: You don’t love us?

Sam: I for one, am hurt. 

Dan: Me too. 

Joel: Me three. 

Brown: Me four.

Simon: Oh shut up. I love you all. I just don’t want to have to talk about it all the time. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions." Woody Allen.

Jim: That damn guy wants it all the time. 

Blair: He just likes to talk about it. 

Simon: I truly think he’s a gifted man, but please! I wouldn’t sleep with him. 

Sully: Honey, I hope not. 

Simon: That came out wrong. 

Brown: Not if it’s put in right. 

Simon: God, I’m never going to live this down. 

Dan: I think he has a crush on Woody Allen. 

Joel: I believe you’re right. 

Sam: God, this is a fun night, thanks, Meg. 

Connor: You’re welcome. I live to serve. And if I can embarrass my boss in the meantime, more power to me. 

Rafe: Has anyone ever noticed how Woody Allen looks like a rodent?

Brown: (laughing) No, but I’ll watch a movie with him in it now and see. 

Dan: Now do you think it’s because he’s not big and muscular?

Sam: Good question. I think it’s because he looks like Stuart Little. 

Rafe: (spitting beer all over Henry) Good ones, Sam. See, I told you. A rodent. 

Blair: I think it’s cuz he’s small, so people pick on him. 

Jim: I’ve always like that movie. I would never pick on Stuart. 

Blair: I’m going to kick your ass. 

Jim: Better bring a sack lunch, bucko. 

Joel: What do you think Simon? 

Simon: I think you’re all insane. Move this along, Connor. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex." Edgar Wallace. 

 

Blair: This is ‘so’ not true. 

Dan: I agree with Blair. 

Jim: So do I. 

Blair: You do? 

Jim: I’m not dumb.

Blair: I never said you were. 

Simon: Knock it off. Just fuck each other and get it over with. Geeze. 

Sully: My, that was put nicely, Simon. 

Simon: It’s the truth. What are you going to do either in the parking lot or when you get home?

Jim: Fuck his brains out. 

Blair: Or I could fuck yours out. Does that sound good, big man?

Jim: I think we should try something new tonight. Anyone have any suggestions? 

Dan: I do. How about you sleep. And that’s all? 

Sam: Oh I like that. Kinky. 

Jim: I’m serious. Something new??????

Connor: I’ve got something for you. Jim, sit at the edge of the bed and Blair, you take his cock in your mouth and begin to suck. Now Jim leans back and he pictures one of the guys here sucking him off. So Blair can’t make any noise. Just Jim. 

Simon: I can’t believe you just said that. 

Sully: I’m having a hot flash. 

Dan: So am I. 

Sam: Want to try that tonight, Dan?

Dan: Sure do. 

Rafe: I think I like this idea too.

Brown: Okay. But the one getting sucked doesn’t tell the sucker who they have in mind, right?

Connor: Right. It would spoil it if they knew. 

Joel: I want to try this tonight.

Connor: You got it baby. 

Simon: Well hell, we’ll try it too. Then what happens?

Connor: Usually you come. 

Simon: Very funny. I mean, do we come in next week and tell each other what we experienced?

Connor: No. It’s all a mind game. 

Blair: I love mind games. 

Jim: Okay, you’re up to bat tonight. 

Blair: Let’s see, who do I want to suck me? Hmmmm.

Connor: Stop teasing about it, Sandy. 

Jim: Well, we’re out of here.

Blair: Bye all. 

Everyone: Bye Ellison and Sandburg. 

They all said goodnight to each other and went out to the parking lot. 

On the drive home Jim said, “Did you decide on who’s going to be doing the sucking?”

“You are.” Blair smiled at him. 

“No, I mean in your mind.”

“Oh yeah. But I’m not telling.” Blair giggled. 

“Just tell me it’s not Simon.”

“This is why we don’t say who it is. Geeze.” Drive, I’m horny as hell. 

“I’m going as fast as I can.” Jim said pulling into their driveway. 

Blair had visions of anyone and everyone sucking him off at once. He almost came in his pants just running from the car into the house. 

Oh this was going to be fun. He was going to buy Connor a present for this idea. Or was it Joel? Either way, they’re going to win. 

Jim was in for a wonderful night and he found out that you don’t have to know. Jim was imagining Blair was someone else. It was working both ways. 

 

Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite. 

Thank you for reading.


	35. Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious, then fun, then very fun. I had more fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it also.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 35  
Deception  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/17/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: What is it with me and angst? Geeze. At least this one’s half and half. 

Story Notes: If anyone wants to join, pass the addy along to friends. We’d love to have more folks reading Sullivan’s.

Next up, anyone have any suggestions or ideas for the new stories? 

Summary: Serious, then fun, then very fun. I had more fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it also.

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub 35  
Deception  
Patt

Things had been very quiet in Major Crimes. No one was complaining. Simon opened his door and hollered, “Ellison, my office, now.”

“Want me to go and pave the way for you?” Blair was trying to keep a straight face, but didn’t. 

“Fuck you.”

“When we get home. Hurry it up and we might be able to leave early.” Blair whispered. 

Jim knocked on Simon’s door and walked in. “Sir?”

“Jim sit down. I have to talk to you.”

“Well I can already tell I’m not going to like this.” Jim grumbled. 

“Tough. It’s part of your job and someone has to do it. We had a man undercover with IA, trying to get the bad cops out of Homicide. Well our man was hurt badly and before he died he said the cop in charge wants you.”

“Simon, you can’t be serious? Even if I wanted to, I have a family now. I’m with Blair. Everyone knows that. This man can’t be stupid, so he would know I was undercover.”

“That’s just it. You’re going to have to break up with Sandburg and we’re hoping this man will come to you.” Simon sat back and waited for the eruption. 

“No fucking way. I’m not doing this.” Jim stood up to leave. 

“IA will make you and Sandburg’s life miserable. Think on it, please?” Simon was now asking nicely. 

“One question. What do I tell Sandburg?”

“You can’t tell him anything. You say you’re tired of being with just one person and need some time away. Promise you’ll see the kids when you can.” Simon stood next to Jim and looked where he was looking. Jim was watching his partner and his hands were shaking.

“It’s going to kill him, Simon.”

“I know. I’ll be here for him, Jim. Do you want to transfer to Homicide if this man asks you?” Simon was trying to cover all bases. 

“No, I want to keep some contact with Blair. Even if I can’t be with him the way I want to. And who is the cop anyhow?”

“Detective Evan Phillips. Do you know him?” Simon watched Jim’s face. 

“Yeah, I know him. He came on to me quite a few times and I wouldn’t go along with him. Why would he believe me now?” Jim asked. 

“Maybe he thinks if Sandburg is out of the way, you’ll be his. Have you thought of what you’ll say to Sandburg yet?” Simon hoped it wouldn’t be too cruel. 

“Yeah, I’m going to tell him that you got some phone calls from an old friend looking for me. I’ll then tell him that I want some time away from him and the kids to decide what I really want in my life.” Jim looked so sad, it broke Simon’s heart. 

“Jim, Phillips is in charge of a ring of cops that do nothing but bad. From small things to murder. They all get away with it. IA can’t seem to get them on anything.”

Jim turned towards Simon and said, “Chances are I’ll have to sleep with him. God, Simon I don’t want to.” Jim leaned his head against the door. 

“Jim, you couldn’t put him off for a few days?”

“Simon, let’s get in the real world. He wants something, he’s going to take it. So he’s either going to fucking rape me, or I’ll let him fuck me.” Jim looked so cold that it scared Simon. 

“Jim, if you want out, then we’ll back out. I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be hurt and I don’t want Sandburg to be hurt either.” Simon walked over and tried to console Jim, but Jim wasn’t having any of it. 

“I’ll do it. Make the appointment and I’ll see IA at the hotel tonight. I’ll start this thing rolling right now. I’ll be at the Cascade Inn. Send them there. In fact call them and ask them to tell anyone that calls, that I had the reservations made for a week ago.” Jim opened the door and walked out to do something he had hoped he would never have to do. 

“Hey, I could see you were getting upset in there. What happened?” Blair asked rubbing Jim’s arm. 

Jim pulled his arm away and said, “An old friend has been calling Simon looking for me. Simon finally told me about it and I’m going to spend a few days with him. I need to see exactly what I feel about my life.” 

“Jim, what are you talking about? We have a family? You can’t leave for a few days.” Blair was almost yelling and everyone in the bullpen heard him. 

“Sandburg, I just need a few days. A week at the most.” Jim started to get some things in his desk so he could leave. 

He stepped around Blair and Sandburg stopped him. “You’re not fucking leaving me.”

“Sandburg, you’re making a scene.” Jim said disgustedly. 

“Fuck making a scene. I want you to go home now. I’m going to go with you.”

“Sandburg, call the Cascade Inn and ask them how long I’ve had the reservations. I’ve had this planned. I just didn’t know how to tell you.” Jim started to move away from him. 

Rafe walked up and said, “You fucker. I can’t believe you’re doing this to him.”

“Fuck off, Rafe.” Jim walked towards the elevator doors. He could hear Blair’s heavy breathing, trying not to cry in the bullpen. Jim knew just how he felt. 

On the drive home, he went over the fact that he was doing this for a good cause. He kept saying it over and over again. God, he was going to miss Blair and the kids so bad. 

When he got to the house he packed a suitcase and then got all of his toiletries and he was on his way. So much for the happy Sandburg-Ellison home. 

Jacob’s went into Phillips office and said, “You’ll never believe who told off his boss and broke up with his boyfriend?”

“Ellison?”

“Good guess. He’s left his broken hearted partner in Major Crimes. Why don’t we try and get him up here?” Jacob’s suggested. 

“We’ll see.” Phillips had a big smile on his face. // Things might be looking up for us, now. //

That night at the hotel, there was a knock at the door and Jim opened it to four IA officers. They all walked in and shook hands with Jim. 

“My name is Walters and I want to thank you for doing this.”

“My name is Winters and they call us the Big W’s because all of our names start with W.”

“My name is Wells and I’m very proud of what you did today.”

“And my name is Wonder and we have a lot of things to cover, so let’s get down to business.”

They all sat around and talked, and Jim listened. Phillips was indeed a very bad person. They wanted Jim to get him on tape and on video for the case to be air-tight. They told Jim how he could set up meetings and then the four W’s would go ahead and get it set up for video and sound. 

“I’m not comfortable sleeping with him.” Jim tried to sound tough, but knew he was coming off as the softy he had become. 

“Then don’t sleep with him. You don’t have to.” Walters answered.

“But I’m telling you, I’ve seen his type before. He’s not going to let me in until he fucks me.”

All the men just stared and finally Wells said, “It’s up to you. You could look at it as part of your job.”

“It’s not part of my job. I’m married more or less. I have a family. I don’t want anyone to fuck me who isn’t Sandburg.” Jim yelled. 

Wonder asked, “So you want out?”

“I got the impression I had no choice in it.”

“You always have a choice. But I’m going to tell you about the cop that died first. He was married, to a darling woman for 12 years. They had three children and were very happy. He took this assignment because his wife asked him too. Her brother was a cop too and they got their claws into him and before long he was dead. So Detective Able went undercover and yes, Phillips fucked him. He wasn’t happy about it either, but he played the game until someone told Phillips that Able was a good cop and undercover. So you see, he didn’t want to be there either, but he did. He wanted to get those dirty cops so bad.”

“So the same thing could happen with me, right?” Jim asked. 

“We’ve already brought up charges on you. Phillips will see them tomorrow. You’re going to be put on desk duty for the next month. That way we’re covering your back.” Wonder told him. 

“This room is bugged and there are three camera’s.” Wonder decided he’d better tell him about it. 

“Here is some paperwork to read up on the small gang. But you have to destroy it in this shredder before you leave in the morning. Understood?” Walters asked. 

“Yes sir. Understood. Don’t you think it’s going to look odd to the so called gang to come here and see a paper shredder?” Jim asked. 

“Shred it and then throw the whole thing away.” Wells suggested. 

“That makes more sense to me.” Jim replied. 

“We’re going to leave you to your reading. We’ll talk to you in three days. Good luck.” Walters said as he walked out the door. The other three men shook his hand and walked out. 

Jim laid on the bed and read all of the folders about the ‘gang’. He couldn’t believe what they were getting away with. // Why had no one caught them before? //

He was still reading at ten that night when the phone rang. He picked it up and said, “Ellison.”

“Jim, don’t hang up please?” Blair begged. 

“Sandburg, I need some time. Just leave me alone for awhile.” Jim pleaded. 

“Jim tell me you don’t love me.”

“I’m sorry Sandburg, I don’t love you. I do love the kids and hope you’ll tell them that I’ll be back in their lives as soon as possible.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this. I love you so much. And the kids cried all night tonight.” Blair was still sobbing into the phone. 

“I’m really sorry.” Jim offered. 

“Oh fuck you. Like that’s going to help.” Jim heard Jade come into the room. “Is that Daddy?”

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Jadey. It’s Daddy.”

“Poppy won’t stop crying and we want you to be our daddy again. Please come home.”

“Jadey, I’ll always love you, but I can’t come home right now.” Jim said softly. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Daddy. I’m sorry you don’t want to be our Daddy anymore. But maybe you’ll find some better kids.” Jade shut the cell phone when she was done. 

Jim stripped out of his clothing, put the files under the mattress and made his way into the shower. Once the warm water started to hit his body, he started crying. God, his little girl thought he needed someone better. And Blair thought Jim didn’t love him any longer. Things couldn’t get much worse. 

Jim heard someone open his hotel room door and he got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around him and walked into the room. Phillips was standing there eyeing him as if Jim were some type of prize. 

“Who are you and what in the hell do you want?” 

“I’m Phillips from Homicide, have you heard about me?”

“Yes.”

“Good things I hope.” Phillips smiled evilly at Jim. 

“Not so good things. But what has that got to do with you breaking into my room.” Jim was pushing him on purpose.

“Because I wanted to catch you off guard. I wondered if you’d like to come to work with us.”

“I would have to think on that.” Jim answered. 

Phillips moved closer and started to touch Jim’s chest. He rubbed Jim just the way Jim loved to be touched and before long Jim was hard. Phillips removed the towel and got on his knees and sucked Jim off. Fast and hard. Jim came the same way. Phillips moved up Jim’s body and said, “Think about being with me. It’s not a bad thing.”

“Okay.” Jim said quietly. 

He locked up after Phillips left the room and then remembered that the room was bugged and had camera’s. // Oh fuck. //

At about two in the morning, Jim woke up scared to death. He needed to talk to Blair. He called the house. His lover answered on the first ring. “Jim?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I have to talk to you.”

“Talk, I’m listening.”

“Blair, I’m undercover.”

“Oh thank god. So you made all of that up?” Blair asked hopefully. 

“Yes. I’m so sorry. I’m not supposed to tell you anything, but I can’t have you thinking I don’t love you. I do. I need you so much right now.” Jim sounded to sad. 

“Jim, I’m going to get Rafe to come over and I’ll be there in a minute. I love you.” Blair hung up the phone and Jim knew that it was wrong, but yet, it was right. He couldn’t hurt Blair like that. 

Jim was in a light sleep when Blair was at the door. He opened it and Blair went into his arms. 

“Chief, this room is bugged and has three camera’s. So I’m just warning you.”

“Not a problem big man. I want to get fucked. You do it really well. They’ll enjoy the show.” Blair stripped and got on the bed. He reached into his bag and pulled out the lube. Jim started right away to get Blair ready for the time of his life. 

Once he was loose, he pushed in past the first ring and Blair moaned with pure pleasure. Jim pushed further in and once his balls touched Blair’s ass, he began to move fast. Blair was breathing very hard and Jim could tell Blair was close to coming. 

“Jim, this is so good. So good. Yes, harder. Harder.” Blair kept chanting things and Jim just got hotter for him with each thing he said. 

Jim reached down and started pulling on Blair’s cock and Blair came screaming Jim’s name. Jim followed soon after, telling Blair how much he loved him over and over again. 

They were lying in bed holding each other and Jim said, “I’m taking myself off the case. I can’t do this shit anymore.”

“Will you get in trouble?” Blair wondered aloud. 

“I don’t care. Blair, Phillips touched me and sucked me off tonight.”

Blair sat up and didn’t look at Jim when he asked, “And was it good?”

“Chief, I came if that’s what you’re asking. But only because I was horny thinking about you in the shower.” Jim tried to explain. 

“So you’re not going to see him again?”

“Blair, I didn’t see him this time. He broke into my hotel room and caught me naked and took advantage. It’s never going to happen again.”

“Okay, that’s good enough for me.” Blair went back into his arms. 

The phone rang and Walters said, “Ellison, what the fuck are you doing?”

“You’ve got me on camera, I’m sure you know what I’m doing.”

“We’ll have your ass for this, Ellison. So you had better get him the hell out of there and start acting like a professional.”

“I’m going to resign. And I’ll tell everyone about Phillips so that no one will want to work with you. Not to mention this case will never get anywhere. ”Jim was standing up naked and pacing as he talked. 

“Fine, go back to Major Crime, if that’s all you strive for. We’ll have to find someone that’s more dependable.” Walters hung up the phone so hard it made Jim’s ear ring. 

“Hey Chief, should I call him back and ask for copies of the tape?”

There was a knock at the door and Walters said, “Here is your tape. Now get out of the room. We don’t want to watch the two of you any longer.”

“Excuse me, but I paid for this room. We’ll stay as long as we want.” Jim slammed the door in his face. 

Jim turned around and found a laughing Sandburg. “I hate IA.” 

“Tell me about it. Wanna watch the tape?” Jim teased.

“Yeah, and then we destroy it. Okay?” Blair lay on the bed and watched it with Jim. Both men began to kiss and touch as they got more turned on. 

“Jim, can I tell everyone at Sullivan’s what happened?” Blair whispered into Jim’s ear.

They began to make-out more and both men were getting into it, big time. 

There was a loud knock on the door and Jim jumped up to answer it. 

Wells was standing there and he said, “I would suggest you not tell anyone about this.”

“What the hell? You’re fucking watching us now? I’ll say whatever I want. Perverts.” Jim slammed the door in his face. 

“Come on Chief, we’re going home.” Jim packed up his things and out the door they went. 

The drive home seemed to take forever, and Blair looked at Jim and asked, “Can we tell our friends what happened? They’re really mad at you. And I don’t want them to hate you.”

“I don’t see why not. Ask Connor to have a Sullivan’s tonight and we’ll tell them then.” Jim pulled into the driveway and got ready for a pissed off Rafe. 

When Jim opened the door, Rafe said, “I can’t believe you took this fucker back.” Rafe tried to get by in order to leave. But Jim wouldn’t let him go. “Rafe, please listen to me.”

“What?”

Jim explained the whole situation to him and then Blair added the parts of the tape and Jim calling them perverts and Rafe ended up laughing. “Jim, I’m so sorry. I really thought you left him.”

“Never. He’s my life.” Jim hugged Rafe before he left and Jim and Blair went into their room. 

“Want to have some fun, little boy?” Jim asked Blair as they walked through the doorway. Then both Jim and Blair saw two kids sleeping in their bed. 

Both men stripped down to their boxers and then slid into bed. Jim had Jade on his side and Blair had Drake on his. Jade woke up and saw her Daddy and started kissing him all over his face. “Daddy stay with us. Please?”

“I’m staying, Jadey. I’m not leaving you. I was working and I couldn’t tell anybody why.” Jim tried to explain. 

“You made Poppy cry and you have to hug him a lot now.”

“I will. I promise.” Jim kissed her and pulled her in close for a good snuggle. 

The next morning Jim heard someone use a key to their front door and then realized it was Rafe and Brown. Blair and the kids were still asleep, so Jim was thinking about getting up but Brown came into the room with tears in his eyes. 

“It’s okay, Henry.”

“I’m so sorry, I was so angry at you. I had horrible thoughts.” Henry wrapped his arms around Jim and wouldn’t let go. 

Blair woke up and could hear the two men and slid over and kissed Henry on his cheek before he got up. 

“Chief, could you piss for me while you’re in there, or I’ll have an accident here.” Jim called out. 

Jade lifted the covers and said, “Daddy’s right. The Fairy came and he has to potty.” 

Brown laughed and let go of Jim so he could get up. He laid back on Jim’s side until Jim came back out. Jim slid onto Blair’s side knowing that Henry needed something. 

They just lay and looked at each other and Jade said, “Uncle Henry, you can kiss him. Daddy’s a good kisser.”

Brown leaned over and kissed Jim on the cheek. Jade said, “You can kiss his lips. I kiss his lips all the time.”

Henry kissed Jim on the cheek again and said, “I love you Jim.”

“I love you too, Henry.”

“Do you love me, Uncle Henry?” Jade asked sweetly. 

“Who wouldn’t love you, Jadey?” Brown teased. And then he kissed her on the cheek.

Henry walked into the kitchen leaving Jim and Jade to discuss some things. “So Daddy you moving back home?”

“Baby, I’m already here.”

“So you love me and Drakey?”

“I love you and Drakey more than life.” Jim kissed her and held her close. 

Drake walked in and said, “Daddy, can I have a hug?”

“You can have a hug and a kiss, how does that sound?” Jim pulled Drake onto the bed and held him close as he hugged him. Then he kissed him over and over again. “Drake, I love you so much.”

“More than life itself, he said.” Jade was helping. 

“Exactly. Now I want both of you to get up.” 

“I love you too, Daddy.” Drake gave him a very good hug before he got out of the bed. 

Before long everyone knew about Jim and why he had left. The phone rang and Jim answered, “Ellison.”

“Sullivan’s Pub tonight, 6:00.” Connor whispered. 

“Why are you whispering?”

“I wanted to see if you were on your toes.”

“No, I have shoes on and I’m flat on my soles.” Jim teased. 

“See you tonight?”

“We’ll be there.” Jim hung up and called for the sitter. Henry’s sister Linda was not only great with the kids, but almost always available. Jim would have to talk to Blair about finding someone for her. She was so sweet. And beautiful too. 

Blair walked in the door and said, “Why the big smile?”

“Sullivan’s at 6:00. I set it up with Linda. And then I was thinking about Linda and how she’s always alone. We should find a nice man for her.” Jim hugged his shocked man. 

“Are you sure you’re Jim Ellison?”

“Oh hush.”

“Where are our children?” Blair looked around and didn’t see them. 

“They’re down at Rafe and Brown’s. Want them back? I can call.”

“Got enough time to fuck me?” Blair asked with that husky voice of his. 

Jim picked the phone up and called Brown. “Hey H. How long do you think you’ll let the kids stay there?”

“Thinking of fucking his brains out?” H asked laughing. 

“Exactly.”

“Go ahead. Then just come and get them when you’re done.” Brown hung up and Jim made a mad dash for the bedroom. 

Blair was lying on the bed naked and waiting. And Jim was hard instantly. He stripped his clothing off and started to climb on the bed, when Blair said, “Hang on, I want to suck first.”

Blair put Jim’s cock in his mouth and was surprised when Jim lost his erection. Jim pulled away from Blair and began kissing and touching him. He began to get hard once again. 

Blair lay back on the bed and knew that there was a problem, but he didn’t know how to deal with it. Jim made love to him for an hour and Blair came twice. It’s not like he was complaining. // Damn that Phillips. //

When Linda got to their house, the guys left for Sullivan’s. This was going to be good for both of them. 

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you need to take something up with Phillips.” Blair was almost afraid to talk about this. 

“Like what Chief? You want me to go attack him?”

“No, but you need to get that part of you back, that he stole.” Blair sighed when Jim rolled his eyes. He had already lost. 

“I’ll think about it, Blair.”

“Thank you. I love you so much, Jim.”

“Thank you for that.” At the light, Jim kissed him so tenderly that it made Blair’s eyes water. 

When they got to Sullivan’s, everyone was there, but in a separate room. “I swear to god, they come early just to show us up.” Jim laughed as he got out of the SUV.

“Where did this room come from?” Blair asked. 

“I’m the boss and I told them I needed my own room.” Sully smiled. 

It was a fantastic room. The whole front was windows and the rest was walls. Very peaceful looking and lots of room. 

Everyone: Hi Guys.

“Hi everyone.” Blair and Jim said together and felt like puppets.

“Sit down, we’ve got a big night. We need to get started.” Connor ordered. 

“Yes ma’am.” Jim sat down laughing his head off. 

“What are we doing tonight?” Blair asked. 

“Signs. Found inside and outside. What we think of them, do they remind us of anyone or are they stupid? And Simon, just shut up.” Connor said with a twinkle in her eyes. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: My drinking team has a bowling problem.

Brown: I need this one. That team we have is terrible.

Rafe: Henry, we don’t belong to a bowling team, only the pub.

Brown: Oh sorry, Connor.

Joel: I don’t know anyone on a bowling team. 

Jim: I think this ones dumb.

Blair: Me too. 

Simon: I agree. 

Sully: Well I think it’s pretty funny because not many people have a sense of humor about bowlers. 

Sam: I agree with Sully. 

Dan: I love to Bowl. 

Sam: Why aren’t we on a team?

Dan: You like to?

Sam: Love to. 

Dan: I’ll see if they have room on the CPD one. 

Simon: Excuse us, we’re having a survey.

Connor: It must be time to move on. 

Simon: Hey, that’s my fucking job.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Penny for your thoughts. Twenty to act them out.

 

Jim: Screams Blair and I would give him that twenty every time.

Blair: I agree. This does sound like me. 

Dan: I think it sounds like Sam. 

Sam: That’s cuz it is like me. 

Sully: I think it sounds like me. 

Simon: And I would give you any amount of money. 

Rafe: Whoa, that has to be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard our Captain say. 

Sully: I think you might be right. You’re getting lucky big time tonight, Si. 

Brown: Well since we pointed it out, do we get lucky tonight too?

Sully: With me?

Brown: Seems only fair.

Sully: I can’t have intercourse, Henry. (Simon’s mouth fell open.)

Brown: Has he ever tongue fucked you? It’s fantastic.

Simon: Excuse me, this is my wife you’re talking to.

Joel: So anyone can do the tongue fucking?

Jim: Sure.

Blair: We could give lessons to those that are shy about it.

Joel: You mean you would actually tongue fuck Meggie?

Blair: No, I would tongue fuck Jim and you’d watch.

Joel: That sounds good. 

Jim: Excuse me. We’re not doing this. 

Connor: He’s always such a whiner. 

Simon: Time to move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: My husband, boyfriend or SO and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

Sully: Okay, I want this one for Simon. Some days he really needs to be reminded of who he is. 

Simon: We’ll discuss it later. 

Dan: I don’t know anyone like this sign. 

Sam: Me either. 

Simon: Do you hear that Sully? 

Sully: Yes, God, I do. 

Simon: Very fucking funny. 

Jim: This sign doesn’t remind me of anyone. 

Blair: Me either. 

Rafe: I think it reminds me a little of Jim. 

Jim: What?

Brown: Well you do think you know everything and can handle everything.

Jim: I don’t know everything and I sure as hell can’t handle everything. Just ask Sandburg. 

Simon: Sandburg? 

Blair: I don’t think he wants this discussed. 

Jim: Go ahead.

Blair: Jim, this isn’t the time or place for it. 

Jim: Ask our friends what I should do?

Blair: I’m going to think on this for a little while. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Sex is like rain. It all depends on how many inches you get.

Blair: How many inches do you ladies like?

Connor: Well, I like about 8 inches. 

Sam: And I love about 9 inches. 

Sully: Yes, I love about 12 inches. 

Blair: 12 inches? Holy cow. 

Sully: Yes, it was a cow. What are we supposed to be talking about? 

Jim: Good one, Sully. I myself like my rain at about 7-9 inches. Depending on how powerful the storm is, I guess. 

Sam: Well in that case. (Dan puts his hand over her mouth)

Rafe: I love about 9 inches. 

Brown: Same here. 

Blair: I think you’re all nuts. First of all, they aren’t talking about penis size at all. They’re talking about how many times you do it. You twits.

Jim: Oh, in that case, at least every night.

Sully: God, Simon’s going to be so jealous.

Sam: Every night here too. 

Sully: Poor Simon. 

Jim: Simon can take me. 

Blair: Shut up, Ellison. (very angry.)

Dan: We do get a lot of rain at our house. 

Rafe: We do too. 

Brown: Oh yeah, sometimes it’s muggy it’s so damn rainy. 

Simon: Can we move this damn thing along?

Sam: I want to know if someone would actually say their husband or whoever had a four or five inch dick. Would anyone own up to that?

Rafe: I don’t think so. 

Dan: I would I think. I’m not that large, so it’s not a big thing with me. Get it? (Laughing.)

Sam: Dan, you are too large.

Simon: Get off this topic, please. Move it along, Connor. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: It only seems kinky the first time.

Dan: Screams Jim and Blair. 

Sam: It does, and we mean that nicely. 

Connor: I think so too. 

Joel: I want to hear about kinky. 

Simon: I don’t. 

Sully: You wouldn’t. And that sign reminds me of everyone. 

Simon: You think I’m kinky? 

Sully: You could be. 

Rafe: We could teach you, Simon. 

Simon: Shut up. 

Brown: It’s fun. 

Simon: Shut up. 

Jim: I love kinky. 

Blair: He does. 

Simon: Could we move on?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Beer. Teaching white people to dance since 1867.

Brown: (Howling) This is so true. 

Rafe: It is not. You take me dancing all the time. 

Jim: But we dance bad. 

Blair: Speak for yourself. Do I dance badly, Henry?

Brown: Sure don’t. 

Simon: Yes he does. 

Brown: Nah, he dances really smooth. 

Sam: Dan dances great. 

Dan: Honey, I really don’t. 

Jim: He and I dance a lot alike. Badly. 

Sully: Wait a minute. Everyone can dance. So stop saying some don’t dance as well as others. 

Blair: Yeah, the next thing you’ll do is say who fucks the best.

Dan: Who does?

Sam: I vote for Dan. 

Sully: I vote for Simon. 

Brown: I vote for Bri. 

Rafe: And I vote for Henry. 

Jim: I vote for Blair. 

Joel: I vote for Meggie. (giggles just like Megan is.)

Connor: And I vote for Joel. 

Simon: I vote for Sully, who can make me hot just watching her make dinner at night. So hot that I have to go into the bathroom twice while she’s doing it.

Blair: I think this is stupid and we should move on. 

Simon: Hey, that’s my job.

Everyone, including Jim has noticed that Blair did not say Jim was the best lover. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Jim: I think we need this one for the bullpen. 

Blair: I agree. 

Joel: I want one for my office too. 

Simon: And mine. 

Dan: Damn, working with dead people sucks sometimes. I guess I could have it down there for the ones that might be more active. 

Sully: Dan, you crack me up. 

Sam: He cracks me up too. 

Rafe: I think I want this sign for the house too, H. 

Brown: Bri, that’s fine with me. 

Simon: OH my god, we agreed on one. Let’s move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Veni, Vedi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I got stuck.

Sam: I love this one. I want it. 

Dan: I do too. 

Jim: I’m always stuck. 

Simon: Jim, you all right?

Jim: Not really. 

Simon: Want to talk about it now?

Jim: Blair doesn’t want me to. 

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison. 

Rafe: I got it again this week. The first fuck you is from Hairboy. 

Brown: Way to go, Bri. Too bad we don’t get money. 

Joel: Can I help with anything?

Jim: No thanks. 

Sully: Jim, I need to talk to you later on. Do you have time?

Jim: I always have time for you Sully. 

Sully: Good, cuz Sam, Connor and I need to ask something really important. 

Jim: Okay. 

Simon: Does anyone remember what this one’s about anymore?

Connor: Who fucking cares. Let’s move on. 

Simon: Connor, that’s my job. Calm down. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: I'm not as think as you confused I am.

Jim: I feel like this all the time.

Blair: I think a lot of folks do. 

Joel: I know that I do. 

Simon: I don’t. 

Blair: I don’t either, but I wanted them to feel better.

Brown: I feel like this a lot. 

Rafe: I know you do, but you’re not alone. Didn’t you hear the rest of the losers? (Howling)

Brown: You must have forgotten how nice the spare bedroom is. 

Rafe: I’m sorry.

Dan: I feel like this all the time. 

Sam: Same here. 

Sully: I do too. It’s hard living with perfect hubby. 

Simon: I’m hardly perfect, Sully. Now it’s time to move on, Connor.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Lead me not into temptation. I know my own way.

Blair: Is this Ellison or what? 

Simon: I think it’s all of us, Sandburg. 

Sully: I think so too. 

Dan: I know it’s me. 

Sam: I’d be joining him. 

Rafe: Yup, this is me too. 

Brown: Same here. 

Joel: I love this one. Honey, I want this sign for our house. 

Connor: Okay, I’ll do that for you. 

Simon: We could move on, Connor. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: So, when's the Wizard going to get back to you about that brain?

Blair: Well this is Jim to a tee.

Jim: How many beers have you had?

Blair: What? You think because I voice an opinion I’m drunk?

Jim: Whatever. 

Blair: You don’t use your brain man. That’s what I mean.

Simon: Okay, let’s move on. I say this about myself all the time. 

Sully: You do? Now that surprises me. 

Dan: I think this a lot. 

Sam: Same here. 

Rafe: I’ve never said it. 

Brown: But I’m sure you’ve thought it. 

Rafe: Maybe about Ellison. 

Connor: Knock it off. 

Jim: Connor I don’t need you to defend me.

Simon: Time to move this baby along.

Connor: I can defend whomever I wish. Now hush.

Simon: Now can we move on? 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Saturday has a morning?

Simon: This ones stupid. Most of us are working. 

Sully: But those that don’t are asking this very question. 

Sam: I ask this every morning. 

Dan: I’ve never thought of it. 

Blair: I think this every morning also. 

Jim: It’s never occurred to me either. 

Brown: I think it all the time. 

Rafe: H, I’m going to give you a spanking when we get home. 

Joel: I’ve never thought this. Too busy getting up with Ellie. Right Meggie?

Connor: So right. 

Simon: I think we could move this along.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: An erection doesn't count as personal growth.

Blair: I’m not saying a word. 

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Blair: Hard to do isn’t it? Oh yeah, I’m sorry. We’ll just say tough to do.

Jim stands up and doesn’t know exactly where he’s going so Sully, Sam and Connor stand up and lead him into the kitchen. 

Sam led him to a bar stool at the kitchen counter and said, “We want to talk to you.”

“I know. You told me just a few minutes ago.” Jim looked at the floor. 

“Jim, talk to us. What happened?” Sully sat in front of him and pulled his face up to meet her eyes.

“You can tell us anything, big man.” Connor was showing her support. 

Jim told them about Phillips and what he did and how when Blair sucked him off, he couldn’t come. He couldn’t even stay hard. 

“What does Blair want you to do?” Sam asked. 

“He wants me to confront the bastard.”

“I agree. You should. Let him know you’re stronger than he is.” Sully was great at being a cheer leader.

“But you don’t dare do it alone. You take a woman cop. Gosh, who do we know that’s a woman and a cop?” Connor asked.

“They’ll think I’m a total wuss for having a woman help me.” Jim sighed as he stood up. 

“You think when we work together that I’m a wuss?” Connor looked hurt. 

“No, you know I don’t. But they don’t know you. They don’t know your strengths.” 

“Will you at least think about it Jim?” Sully pleaded. 

“I’ll think on it and take care of it on Monday. Thanks.” Jim kissed all of them and they went back out to the room. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Jim: This might be me. 

Connor: Jim, you always look nice.

Rafe: Well he could use some changes. 

Jim: I don’t want to look like you, Rafe. 

Brown: I could use some changes. 

Rafe: A lot of changes. 

Blair: Jim, do you think I need a lot of changes? 

Jim: No.

Sully: Simon always looks so nice, it’s hard to keep up with him. 

Simon: Baby, you always look lovely. 

Dan: Sam looks gorgeous all the time. 

Sam: And Dan, I love you in jeans. So don’t ever change. Your ass looks so good in them. 

Dan: (Laughing) I can’t believe you said that. 

Joel: I’ll have to notice the next time you walk by.

Sam: Not just back, front too. 

Joel: Oh my. Well, I’ll force myself to check you out now, Dan. And by the way, my lovely wife is always gorgeous. Hard to keep up with her. 

Connor: thank you honey bear. And Sam, I agree about the jeans. Dan looks damn good in them. Jim, you look damn good in jeans too. You should wear them more often. Sandy, you look good in anything. Rafe suits were made for you. Henry, I want to see you in some jeans. Simon, you look terrific at work, but when you come here in jeans, you’re ass is quite nice. And last but not least, my Honey Bear, you look great in anything, but I want you to wear jeans now and then. We’ll show them how it’s done. 

Simon: I almost fell asleep during the speech, Connor. And why are you checking me out in jeans?

Connor: We check everyone out. You can ask Sully and if she’s truthful she’ll tell you the same type of statements. 

Simon: Okay, Sully. I want to hear.

Sully: You asked for it. 

Jim, has the firmest ass I think I’ve ever seen. So I like to watch him walk away in jeans. But I like to see him come towards me wearing Dockers. That loose fit make his dick look very nice indeed. Did I mention his stomach and chest that I would love to run my hands over some times? 

Blair, you have a beautiful body. The kind that I would like to be around a lot. Perfect little ass and a very nice package up front. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you look wonderful. 

Rafe, you have a perfect shape for suits and look stunning in them. But they hide your assets. Until you started coming here, I didn’t know you had a nice ass or package. Now I do, because you wear jeans here. Nice stomach and chest too. 

Brown, you, my man I would love to take a bite out of. Your ass is ideal for many things. To touch, to look at, god, I just plain love your ass Henry. Hey, don’t be giving me dirty looks, Rafe. And do I have to mention how nice Henry carries his package in his jeans? I think not. I also love your lips.

Joel, you are another one that takes you off guard. I could make a feast out of your body, easily. I would love to see you naked and draw you. Think about that for me. If not, maybe, Meg would allow me just to glance at you. Very nice body and stop hiding your package. 

Simon, you have a wonderful body also. So soft where it needs to be and firm where it should be. You’ve not seen splendid until you’ve seen my hubby naked. His cock is beautiful. I may have to take up painting again, so I can paint him in different poses. I hate his attire at work because it covers him up. But when we go out or here, he’s more comfortable and he looks great in jeans or Dockers. 

Dan, you are another one that has been hiding out, but from what my sister tells me, you’ve got lots to show off too. Watching you just a moment ago, getting her a beer, I saw a fantastic ass. You know just how to work it. Then when you came back, I realized you know how to work your package too. You did it beautifully. 

Now you all know that I find you beautiful. Deal with it. 

Connor: That was so great, Sully. 

Jim: Connor and Sully, that was great. 

Simon: What do you mean great? They watch all of us. They check out our dicks and asses. What do you think of that guys?

Blair: I’m flattered. 

Rafe: I’m going to dress down a little and call Sully ahead of time. 

Sully: goody. 

Brown: I loved what both of you said.

Sam: Is it my turn now? 

Simon: No. I don’t want to hear what you all think about any of us. Geeze, I’m going to have nightmares. 

Connor: Should we do some more?

Simon: No, I’m tired. 

Sully: He’s horny, after hearing about everyone’s naked bodies. 

Rafe: (laughing) Too funny, Sully. 

Brown: I think we should see someone naked tonight. It’s only fair. 

Joel: What a good idea. 

Blair: Yeah, sounds good to me. 

Simon: Okay, let it be Ellison. 

Jim: No way. 

Connor: Jim I wouldn’t mind seeing you. 

Sully: I wouldn’t mind drawing you. 

Sam: I wouldn’t mind painting you. 

Simon: You are all sick.

//Sully’s dream sequence. This is only a dream, folks.//

Sully drug Simon over to the wall and pushed him against it. She unzipped his jeans and started to pull them down. He was fighting her, but she continued doing her thing, sucking his cock as far down as she could and he gave in. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Sully worked her magic and before long Simon was yelling her name and coming down her throat. 

Everyone at the table sat and watched and knew they wanted the same thing. 

Sam pulled Dan up next and stood her beside Simon. She unzipped his jeans and pulled them down. When she pulled his boxer briefs down he was already hard. Simon watched her as she began to take him in her mouth. Then Sam switched him around so that his ass was facing Simon. Simon still continued to watch. Sully reached out and rubbed Dan’s ass gently. Simon was getting hard again. As Sully took him into her mouth once more, Simon began touching Dan’s ass as he was getting closer. Dan spread his legs apart and Simon moved his hand down further. Simon was finding out how odd, but wonderful it felt to have his fingers in Dan’s crack. Both men were breathing hard and close as can be. Simon lost control and came loudly and Dan followed close behind. 

Blair got up from the table and pulled Jim up to follow him. He knew this might be embarrassing. Blair stood him next to Dan and unzipped his jeans. Dan leaned in to Jim and lay his head on Jim’s shoulder. Blair pulled Dan’s hand towards Jim’s belly and showed him how Jim liked it rubbed. Jim was getting hard. Blair talked to him before he took him in his mouth and Jim was hard the whole time. Dan moved his hand down a little lower and Jim shouted Blair, and came down his throat. 

Joel and Connor joined them and Joel was hard as a rock. Joel rubbed Jim’s cock and was getting into it big time. Jim was hard once again as Joel was getting sucked by Connor. Joel started stroking Jim at a furious pace and Jim was getting closer and closer. Joel could tell and motioned for Simon to come over to Jim. Simon saw that Jim was ready to come and he kneeled down and put his mouth over Jim’s cock. Jim exploded into Simon’s mouth, first thing. Simon swallowed it all. 

Rafe and Brown headed over to the others and took their clothing off. Sully got down and started sucking Henry’s cock making Brian harder than he’d ever been.///

Connor: Sully, are we that boring? You were day dreaming like there was no tomorrow. 

Sully: Sorry, I was thinking of something. 

Blair: You looked like you were happy. 

Sully: I was. I fucking was. 

Simon: All right, what were you thinking about?

Sully: Group sex. Now drop it. 

Simon: Group sex? What are you nuts?

Blair: What group?

Sully: Very funny. 

Jim: Well we have to get home. Talk to you all tomorrow. 

Blair: Night everyone.

Sully: Jim, would you walk me out please?

Sully and Jim walked into the parking lot and everyone watched from the window. 

“What’s up, Sully?”

“I want Simon to tongue fuck me so bad and I know he never will. So could you show him how easy it is? We could just do it right here in the parking lot.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. I’ll take him to lunch.”

“Oh good idea.”

Blair walked up and said, “Everyone’s expecting some sex or something and Simon’s having a cow.”

Jim and Sully burst out laughing. “See you later guys.” She kissed both men and walked back into the Sullivan Meeting room. 

“What was that all about?” Simon asked, sounding grouchy. 

“I wanted some clues on how to get you to do something. He’s going to talk to you tomorrow.” Sully kissed him. 

“It’s going to embarrass me isn’t it?” Simon already knew the answer. 

“Sure is. But it’ll make me so fucking happy.” Sully started to kiss him and found him getting harder than he’d been in a month. Simon was having a hard time with this no sex deal. Being pregnant sucked for both of them. 

Everyone left and walked out to the parking lot, saying their good-bye’s.

On the drive home Sully asked, “Simon, have you ever thought of fucking Jim?”

Simon started choking on his saliva and said, “No.”

“So you’ve never thought about fucking a guy?”

“Maybe.” Simon was embarrassed. 

“Who, baby?”

“I used to think about Jim and he doesn’t know. That was before I met you.” Simon almost whispered. 

“So you wouldn’t want to fuck him now, right?”

“Sully, he’s with Blair and I’m with you. We don’t fuck around on each other.”

“What if I wanted to see you fuck both of them? And then have Jim tongue fuck me?”

“Baby, I don’t think this would work. People would find out and it would be ugly.” Simon was trying to keep her calm. 

“I guess I’ll never get tongue fucked.”

“We’ll try it tonight. All right?”

“All right! I love you, Simon.”

“I love you, Sully.”

And Sully realized why everyone said she was good at manipulation. She didn’t even have to work hard at this one. And damn if she wasn’t going to get tongue fucked. If she was lucky, he might do it twice. 

 

Jim and Blair got home and got ready for bed. Jim walked out of the bathroom naked and hard. 

“Expecting trouble, big man?” Blair smiled at his love. 

“I want you to suck me.”

“You sure?” Blair hesitated. 

“I’m sure. Suck me baby.”

Blair went down on his knees and said, “You keep your eyes on me the whole time. I want you to know who is sucking you.”

“I planned on it.” Jim watched him as he took his cock into his mouth. 

Before long Jim was pushing farther into Blair’s mouth and was close to coming. Blair started humming and Jim came without any warning screaming Blair’s name. 

“Jim, that was wonderful.”

“Yeah, Chief, it was. And I’m sorry I let that man take over my mind. He’s not in there any longer. And I plan on punching his lights out on Monday.”

“I love you, Jim.”

“Blair, do I make you happy, sexually?”

“Of course you do.”

“Have you ever wanted anyone else?” Jim asked dreading the answer. 

“Never. I only want you. You’ve fantastic in bed. You’re a beautiful lover. Why are you asking this?”

“Because tonight you didn’t say anything about being a great lover. And I got my feelings hurt.” Jim looked at the floor while he talked. 

“Babe, first of all I’m an asshole. Second of all, I should have told them all how good you are.” Blair reached up for another kiss. 

“Thank you, Blair.”

“You are most welcome.”

“Want me to take care of this?” Jim touched Blair’s cock and they climbed into bed and had a wonderful evening. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 35  
Thank you for reading and come again.  
Tell your friends.


	36. A Day With Drake and Someone's Getting Married

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious, then fun, then sweet.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 36  
A Day With Drake and  
Someone’s Getting Married  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/21/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: What is it with me and angst? Geeze. At least this one’s half and half. 

Story Notes: Serious, fun and sweet. I have three others started. Just have to find the time. 

Summary: Serious, then fun, then sweet.

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

Sullivan’s Pub Part 36  
A Day With Drake and  
Someone’s Getting Married  
Patt

“Hey Sandburg, where is Ellison this morning?” Rafe asked

“Home with Drake. He’s sick.” Blair answered. 

“Oh, so you made Drake stay home with him?” Brown asked smiling. 

“Very funny. He ran a high fever all night long. Jim was worried sick.”

“I bet you were fine with it, though.” Rafe laughed as he walked away. 

“Sandy, guess who is your partner today?”

“Who?” Blair smiled. 

“Me. And we’re going to check out a DB right now.”

“Oh goody.” Blair said as he followed her out of the bullpen. 

“He’ll be happy as hell to have Jim back tomorrow. Let’s call and make sure that Drake is all right.” Rafe sat at his desk and dialed the Ellison’s number. 

“Ellison.”

“Hey Ellison, how is Drakey?” Rafe asked. 

“Fever is down and he’s doing pretty good. But I want to keep an eye on him. He was pretty sick all night.”

“That’s what Sandburg said and we were worried. Brown says hey and hug Drakey for both of us.”

“Thanks for calling, Rafe. Behave yourselves.” Jim closed the connection. 

Simon walked out into the bullpen and asked, “Did anyone call Ellison to see how Drake is?”

“I did, sir.” Rafe answered. 

“And?”

“He said he’s a little better but he’s keeping a close eye on him. He was really sick last night.” Rafe repeated Jim’s message. 

“I better call Sully and tell her to pick something up for Drake.” Simon walked back into his office. 

Brown and Rafe followed him and Rafe said, “Why would she buy a present for him?”

“When a child is sick it’s customary to get a gift to play with while you’re home from school.”

“Don’t you think that will make Jade feel bad?” Brown asked. 

“I never thought of that.” Simon thought about it as he sat down. “We won’t take a gift. How about candy?”

“But what it that makes him vomit?” Brown asked. 

“Get out of my office, damnit. You both make me nuts.” Simon slammed the door after them.

He picked the phone up and called Sullivan’s to talk to Sully. When she picked up she said, “Sully.”

“Hi honey. Drake is pretty sick and Jim’s staying home with him. Now my big question is, can’t we buy him a present and drop it buy tonight?”

“Well hello to you too. Yes, we can do that, but we have to buy a small something for Jade so she won’t feel left out.” Sully always made sense. God, he loved his wife. Okay, so they weren’t married yet. Geeze. 

“Sully, would you like to fly to Vegas and get married this weekend?” Simon asked out of the blue. 

“Not really. I’d rather just have a tiny wedding at Jim and Blair’s place. They have a perfect covered patio and their house is beautiful.”

“Let’s go and get our license and make plans. We’ll have to talk to a caterer and then let Jim know.” Simon said. 

“Better yet, let’s ask Blair and Jim and see how they feel about it first. Maybe when we go visit Drake tonight and take presents.” Sully suggested. 

“Honey, do you have time to buy those presents?” 

“Of course I do. You wouldn’t know what to buy anyhow.” Sully laughed. 

“Gotta go, we’re going to question a suspect. Rafe says he needs help.” Simon was already standing. 

“See you later, baby. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Sully. Have a good day. Take care of our baby.” Simon said before he hung the phone up. 

 

At The Ellison House:

Jim was reading a book while Drake slept and heard him start to wake up. “Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.” Drake sounded quite pitiful. 

“I’m right here little man. How do you feel?”

“Will you hold me?” He didn’t seem to be moving right.

“Drake what’s wrong?” Jim was alarmed now. 

“My head hurts so bad that I can hardly see.” Drake explained. 

“Daddy’s going to take you to see the doctor. So hold on while I call first.”

Jim called the pediatrician and she told him to bring Drake right in. Jim walked into the bedroom to get Drake dressed and saw that his little boy had lost consciousness. Jim grabbed him and rushed out to the SUV and drove to Urgent Care. They took him right in because of his low vitals.

Once the doctor came in he looked Drake over and then ordered all sorts of x-rays, scaring Jim all the more. 

“What do you think, Doctor Myler?” Jim was scared and the doctor could tell. 

“There is a rash of encephalitis going around. I think perhaps he has that. We’re going to do a spinal tap and go from there. Try not to worry, until there is something to worry about.”

When they took Drake Jim followed and Doctor Myler said, “Mr. Ellison, you can’t go with him. Wait here. It’ll be about an hour.”

Jim sat down in the chair hard. He didn’t want his little boy having a spinal tap. What if he woke up and he felt that? Jim knew from experience, they hurt like hell. And he needed to call Blair, but he forgot his wallet at home. That is where he kept all of his emergency numbers.

He pulled out his phone and dial Simon and heard, “Banks.”

“Simon this is an emergency. I need to get a hold of Blair and I can’t remember his cell phone number. Do you?”

“Jim? What’s going on? Fill me in.” Simon ordered. 

“Sir, I need to get Blair here.”

“Where are you Jim?”

“I’m at Urgent Care and they’re getting ready to do a spinal tap on Drake. I need Blair.” Jim was sounding more desperate. 

Simon opened his door and yelled, “Rafe, do you know Sandburg’s cell phone number?”

“What is some woman calling for him?” Rafe and Brown both laughed. 

“This is a fucking emergency, do you know it or not?” Simon shouted. 

“What happened to Drakey?” Brown jumped up and headed to the telephone. He took it from Simon as Simon went out to see if anyone had Sandburg’s number. 

“Jim, what’s wrong with Drake?” Brown asked frantically. 

“I need that number for Blair. Henry, Blair has to be here. Please help me.” Henry had never heard Jim quite like this and that scared him even more. 

Simon came through the door carrying a piece of paper with Blair’s number on it. He pulled the phone away from Brown and said, “Got a pen Jim?”

“Yes.”

“It’s 344-2156. Now call us as soon as you can.” Simon was going to say something else but Ellison had already hung up the phone. 

Sandburg and Connor were driving back to the station when she said, “Sully called me while we were in there.”

“That’s nice.” Blair laughed. 

“They’re going to ask you and Jim to have the wedding in your back yard, in the next couple of weekends. She also mentioned that she was picking up a great toy for Drake and a small one for Jade. Since Drake was so sick and all. They plan on visiting you tonight.” Connor finally took a breath. 

“Woo Hoo! I can’t wait. It’ll be perfect.” Blair was all smiles when his cell phone went off. 

“Sandburg.”

“Baby, I need you to get to Urgent Care right now.” Jim was scared and it could be heard in his voice. 

“I’ll be right there, Jim. Calm down, okay? I’ll help you when I get there.”

“God, Blair, he’s just a baby.” Blair could hear the control Jim had to use to keep from crying. 

“I’ll be right there. Now hang up and wait for me.” Blair hung his phone up and realized that Connor had turned around already.

“Shit, he sounded so scared. What could have happened?” Blair was talking to himself more than anyone. 

“Sandy, he’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.” Blair spat out. 

“Yes, I do. So have a little faith and just be strong for Drake.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, Megan.”

“OH god, you just called me Megan.” Connor then sped up by 15 miles an hour to get their sooner. 

When she pulled up, Blair jumped out and then jumped back in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call as soon as I know something.”

Blair ran up to the floor they told him to go and saw Dan Wolf standing there with Jim. For some reason this freaked Blair out totally. 

Blair ran to Jim and just held on tight. “Chief, what’s wrong?”

“Dan’s here.”

“Blair, I’m just here for moral support.” Dan said pulling him away from Jim. 

“Oh god, it scared me so bad.” Then Blair let Dan hold him for a moment. 

“The doctor hasn’t come out yet.” Jim told Blair. 

“So we don’t know how bad Drake is yet?” Blair asked. 

“No, not yet. It might be nothing.” Jim offered. 

“Jim, did it look like nothing to you?” Blair asked. 

“No. It looked like something.” 

Doctor Myler walked out and said, “Well, he does have it. Let’s sit down and we’ll discuss it and you can ask me questions.”

“Doctor Myler this is my better half, Blair Sandburg. And this is my friend Dan Wolfe. He’s the Medical Examiner.” Jim introduced them quickly. 

“Sit down gentlemen.” Doctor Myler said. 

Jim, Blair and Dan all sat down awaiting the news. 

“He has Encephalitis. That’s an inflammation of the brain, but it usually refers to brain inflammation caused by a virus. Did he happen to have a virus right before this?” Doctor Myler hoped that was the case. 

“He had the flu for about a week, two weeks ago and didn’t seem to be bouncing back.” Blair said. 

“That’s probably what caused it. It might have been a viral type flu. We’ll do some more tests for that. So far these are the tests we did.

Imaging tests, such as computed topography (CT) scans or magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), to check the brain for swelling, bleeding, or other abnormalities.  
Electroencephalgram,(EEG) to check for abnormal brain waves.   
Blood tests, to confirm the presence of bacteria or viruses in the blood, and whether Drake is producing antibodies, meaning specific proteins that fight infection, in response to a germ.   
Lumbar Puncture, also known as a spinal tap, in which cerebrospinal fluid, the fluid that surrounds the brain and spinal cord, is checked for signs of infection. 

He’s been having some seizures, but please don’t worry. This is fairly common.” Doctor Myler said quickly. 

“Not for us.” Jim said quietly.   
Doctor Myler added, “Drake doesn’t have mild encephalitis that can be monitored at home. He’ll need care in the hospital, usually in the intensive care unit. Other Doctors and myself will carefully monitor his blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing, as well as his body fluids, to prevent further swelling of the brain. Corticosteroids may be used in Drakes case to reduce brain swelling. Since the little guy is having seizures, anticonvulsant drugs will be given too.”  
“I have to tell you, this is scaring the shit out of me.” Blair moved closer to Jim.   
“Mr. Ellison brought him up first thing and got him the care he needed, so things are much better than they could have been. We’re looking at a recovery rate of about 4 weeks.” Myler hoped they didn’t start yelling about this.  
“Here? Or at home?” Jim asked.   
“Two weeks here and then two weeks at home. And this depends on how well he’ll heal while in the hospital. We’ll go from there.”   
“Doctor Myler are there any complications that we need to know about?” Blair asked.   
Myler was hoping they would ask. “Okay, I have a standard list I tell all parents of my patients. This doesn’t mean he has them, it means we have to test him and watch him. Most people with encephalitis make a full recovery. In a small percentage of cases, swelling of the brain can lead to permanent brain damage and lasting complications like learning disabilities, speech problems, memory loss, or lack of muscle control. Speech, physical, or occupational therapy may be necessary in these cases. But if any of these occurred, you will be notified and we’ll handle it from there. I hope to see a full recovery for Drake. Don’t dwell on the negative things.”   
Jim got up and shook Doctor Myler’s hand and said, “Thank you for everything.”  
“We really need to have someone here at night. The day shift is easily taken care of, but nightshift is harder to do. Do you think you can get someone up here in the evenings?” Myler asked.   
“We’ll work it out, sir. When do you think he’ll wake up?” Jim asked.   
“When the drugs help the swelling and the seizures stop. He’ll be fine. Go see your son.” The doctor walked down the hall, leaving upset but hopeful men.   
Dan walked with them and said, “I’ll take the first night shift tonight.” Dan knew that it would take both Jim and Blair to calm Jade down.   
“Thank you, Dan.” Jim smiled.   
“We’ll get a chart made up. I’m sure that there are others that wouldn’t mind helping with Drake.” Blair felt better suddenly.   
Doctor Myler walked up to them and said, “I almost forgot, do you have any other children?”  
“Yes, she’s four.” Jim said.   
“She can’t see him and she can’t be around him when he gets home. It’s very contagious. And if you know any other little ones, you have to keep Drake away from them all. Maybe your little girl could stay with friends?” Myler suggested.   
“We’ll take care of it, Doctor.” Blair said as they continued to Drake’s room.   
The Poor little guy was hooked up to IV’s and a heart monitor and some type of monitor for his brain. They sat on either side of the bed and held his hands.   
“Things will be all right, Jim.” Blair said quietly.   
Jim looked out the glass windows and saw Simon walking up with Sully by his side. “I’ll be right back Chief.”  
Jim met them in the hallway and said, “Sully I forgot to ask, but he’s contagious to children, so I don’t want you in there.”  
“Oh Jim, I have to see him.” Sully said teary eyed.  
“Sully, Jim wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t worried about our baby.” Simon replied.   
“Well Simon I don’t want you in either.” Jim said.   
“What? I’m not pregnant.” Simon blustered.   
“I don’t want any germs going to Sully. Please just do this for me.” Jim pleaded.   
“What about Jade?” Sully asked.   
“We can’t have her around Drake at all for four weeks at least.” Jim filled them in on all of that.   
“Jim, would you allow us to take her to our house?” Sully asked.   
“She’s a handful, Sully. But if you’d like to, that would be nice.” Jim was very relieved. He gave them a key to the house to pack her bag.   
“Jim, call her school and tell them we’re coming to pick her up.” Simon reminded him.   
Jim pulled out his cell and called them. They reminded Jim that Simon was on the list of pick-up people, so they were fine.   
“Thanks again, Sully and Simon.” Then Jim walked back into Drake’s room. “Could you have Jade call me tonight?”  
“Sure, she’ll call Jim. She’ll be fine.” Sully felt so bad for him. She knew that Jade was a Daddy’s girl. So this was going to be hard on both of them.   
When Simon picked her up at school, she wasn’t a happy camper. “Where is my Daddy?” Jade stomped her foot as she yelled.   
“He’s at the hospital with Drake. Drake is really sick, so you’re going to stay with me and Sully.” Simon explained holding on to her hand.   
“I don’t want to stay with you. I want to stay with my Daddy.”  
“Well Daddy is coming to our house for dinner, would that make you feel better?” Simon asked.   
“Yay. Let’s go make dinner then.”  
She climbed in the back seat and let Simon buckle her in. “Hi Auntie Sully.”  
“Hi sweetheart. How are you doing?” Sully knew this was going to be hard.   
“I’m doing all right, but do I get to sleep with you and Uncle Simon tonight?” Jade was thinking ahead.   
“Yes, If you want to sleep with us, you can.”  
“Sully, we might have to talk about that. You know what I mean?” Simon was nervous already. The penis loving girl was at his house. God forbid.   
“I’ll talk to her, Simon. Don’t you worry.” Sully smiled and blew a kiss to Jade. Jade blew one back.   
When they got to the house, Simon called Jim and told him that he and Blair had to come for dinner.   
“That’s fine, Dan just walked in and we’re going home for a shower.” Jim told him.   
“Get here as soon as you can because she wants to sleep with us and I want you to talk to her about touching penises.” Simon was a wreck.   
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell her when I get there.” Jim hung up and laughed.   
They ran home, showered and got to Simon’s in record time. Sully opened the door and said, “You look better. Is Drake doing better?”  
“A little. His vitals are up and the blood tests are getting better.” Jim said.   
Blair walked off and found Jade. “Poppy, Poppy, Poppy. I missed you. I love you.”  
Blair hugged her so hard she made a hurt face. “Sorry baby. I missed you too. I love you.”  
“Where’s my Daddy?”  
“He’s in the living room with Uncle Simon.”  
“I have to see him.” She started to run but Blair caught her. “Jadey, I need to tell you something.”  
“What? Is sumpin wrong with Daddy?” She looked terrified.  
“What will you never do while you’re staying here at Uncle Simon’s house?” Blair stood back and watched her face.   
“Touch his penis. I know that Poppy.” Jade smiled up at her Poppy.  
“Do you promise you won’t touch him?” Blair was using his strict Poppy voice.  
“Yes I do. What’s wrong with Drake?”  
So Blair told her how sick he was and how long he’d have to stay at the hospital and then back at the house without Jade. She started crying and took off running looking for Jim.   
“Daddy!” She screamed as she jumped onto his lap and cried her little heart out.  
Blair walked up and said, “She found out about how long this stay is going to be.”  
“Daddy, couldn’t you stay here at night? I don’t want you to leave me.”  
“Jade, how about we trade off. One night with Poppy and one night with me?” Jim offered.   
“I like that. I love Poppy to sleep with me.”   
“Simon is that all right if we sleep in Jades room with her?” Jim asked.   
“That’s fine. Sounds like it might work for both kids.” Simon said cheering up some. After all he was quite worried about his penis being touched by Jade.   
“Sully do you mind if we both sleep here tonight? We’ve got a sitter for Drake tonight.” Blair asked.   
“You know where the spare room is. Go for it.” Sully smiled at the three of them looking so happy.   
When they crawled into bed they got all cozy on the bed with Jade in the middle. She got closer to Jim and began to touch him as always and he said, “Jadey, I’ll put you in another room if you don’t knock it off.”  
“Daddy, they didn’t bring me anything soft to rub. I’ll cry if I don’t rub it.” And she started to cry.   
Blair said “How about the hair on my chest. Daddy always says it’s soft and furry.”  
“Okay.” She began to rub his chest and was asleep within moments.   
Blair moved her over to his side and put himself in the middle and said, “Do you need that taken care of?” He laughed at Jim’s face when he realized he was talking about the boner Jim had.   
“Not with Jade in the bed with us.” Jim said.   
“Come on.” And Blair led him to the bathroom off of the bedroom. He shut the door and locked it and pulled Jim’s boxers down.  
Blair started to lick Jim’s cock and loved the moaning sounds Jim was making. Then he moved down and licked Jim’s balls, turning Jim around and started to tongue fuck him. Jim was so close he could hardly stand it.   
“Get on the floor big man. On your knees.” Blair ordered.   
Once Jim was on his knees, then Blair was able to really tongue fuck him. “Blair, fuck me.”  
There was lotion on the counter, so he used it to loosen Jim’s hole up. Once it was ready, Blair slid in hearing Jim groan. “That good, baby?” Blair asked.   
“Fuck me, baby. Fuck me.” Jim was pushing his ass back harder and harder. So Blair did what Jim wanted. He fucked him so hard that it even hurt Blair. Jim came calling his name without having his cock even being touched. Blair pounded for about five more minutes and as he pounded, he said, “You’re mine. You’re only mine. No one else’s.” And then he came.   
“Shit, Chief, you trying to break me in half?” Jim laughed.   
“Did I hurt you, babe?”  
“No, felt real nice.” Jim couldn’t wait for the cuddling part.   
The two men cleaned themselves up and then the bathroom and opened the door to a waiting Jade. “I was good. I waited till you was done.”  
Jim rolled his eyes and looked to the heavens and Blair laughed. “Ready for bed?” Jade asked pulling them to the bed.   
IN the morning, Jim got up to relieve Dan, and kissed Blair as he was leaving. Blair slept right through it. Then he kissed Jade and she also slept through it.   
When Jade woke up her Poppy was asleep and her Daddy was gone. She got out of bed and Auntie Sully was in the kitchen. “Where is Uncle Simon?”  
“Good morning to you, Jade. He’s taking a shower.” And Sully turned to the stove and started cooking.   
When she turned around all she saw was pieces of clothing from Jade, heading into their bedroom. She walked into the bathroom and opened the shower door. Simon looked down and found a very naked Jade.   
“Jade, you can’t come in here honey.” Simon hoped he wouldn’t have to scream for Sully.   
“I shower with my Poppy and my Daddy all the time. You have to wash my hair first.” She put her arms up to be lifted. So Simon did. He washed her hair and then he washed her body. Sully glanced in and saw what was happening and was thrilled to see Simon bonding with Jade.   
“Now I’ll get Auntie Sully and she can get you dried off and dressed. Okay?” Simon asked her.   
“See that little seat there? I sit there till you’re done.” Jade squirmed down and sat where she had pointed.   
Simon started washing everything and was almost done and Jade said, “That’s a really nice penis you have. Did you have it when you was a baby?”  
“Yes.”  
“You’re lucky.” Jade looked disgusted again.   
“Okay, we’re both done. Let’s get out and get dressed.” Simon wrapped a towel around himself and dried her all off as Blair stood standing in the doorway.   
“Sorry Simon. I slept too much. Jade, you don’t do this.” Blair grabbed her hand and Simon stopped him and said, “It’s all right, Sandburg. I’ve got to practice for my little girl coming along.”  
“Are you sure?”   
“Yeah, it freaks me out a little bit, but not that bad.” Simon handed a dry Jade to Blair. Now both of you get out so I can get dressed.   
Blair set her down and walked back in and said, “Sir, did she think you had a nice one?”  
“Shut up, Sandburg.” Simon bellowed.   
“I’m serious. She’s pretty picky about penises.”  
“Yes, she said I have a very nice one.” He blushed beet red and Sully walked in.   
“Am I interrupting something?” Sully smiled.   
“We’re discussing Simon’s penis.” Blair said teasingly.   
“Oh I love that penis.”  
“Sully, not now.” Simon was trying not to get a hard on with Blair in the room.   
“Blair, why don’t you go and get Jade dressed I see something has come up with Simon.”  
Blair looked over and saw Simon was hard as a rock. He laughed all the way out of his bathroom.   
Sully got down on her knees and sucked him off in record time. He felt like his head was going to explode he came so hard.   
They all sat down for breakfast and made plans for how Jade would get to and from school. Everything was worked out and Blair had it on his PAL to remind him of times and places.   
When Jim got to the hospital, he sent Dan home and thanked him.   
“He never woke up, so I slept the entire night.” Dan laughed.   
“Well that’s good, I guess.” Jim said.   
“Want me on tonight?” Dan asked.   
“Ask Blair. He’s going to have the schedule made up today at work. I just needed to see Drakey before I went in to work.” Jim smiled over at him with such love, it made Dan smile.   
“See you later, Jim.”  
“Thanks, Dan.”  
He was sitting there holding Drake’s hand and talking to him when the monitor’s went off and Drake woke up. The nurses came in and said, “Well this is unexpected Drake. This is good. You’ll be able to go home sooner if you keep doing this well.”  
Drake looked around and said, “Then I’ll keep doing gooder.”  
Jim and the nurses all laughed.   
When Blair got there he couldn’t believe it. Drake was sitting in bed drinking something, and next to him was a beaming Jim Ellison.   
“How is my boy today?” Blair walked in and hugged him and then kissed his face over and over again.   
“I’m gooder now.”  
“It’s just good, Drake.” Blair corrected him.   
“NO, they said I was doing gooder.” Drake bragged.   
“Okay.” Blair said and kissed him again.   
“The doctor is on his way in.” Jim offered, since he knew that would be Blair’s next question.   
“You look great, Jim.” Blair smiled at him.   
“I feel gooder.” Jim smiled and then laughed.   
“Maybe he looks greater.” Drake suggested.   
“Well he does, doesn’t he my little man?” And Blair kissed him again.   
“Why all this kissing? Geeze.” Drake complained.   
The door opened and the doctor walked in. “Well good morning, Drake. You’re doing fantastic.”  
“Is that better than gooder?” Drake asked.   
“Why yes it is.”  
“Did you hear that Poppy and Daddy? I’m doing tastic?”  
“So what’s the verdict on our son?” Blair asked not bothering to correct Drake’s pronunciation.   
“Well all of his tests came back beautifully. His blood is back to where it should be and we just need to do the x-ray on his brain. If the swelling is down, oh gone, he gets to go home.”  
So they all waited for the results to get back. Jim was filling Drake in on the fact that he couldn’t have his sister at home when he got there. Drake cried, which didn’t surprise Jim and Blair. He loved his little sister.   
“If the test come back real gooder, can she come home?” Drake sobbed.   
“Honey, if we bring her home, she could get sick like you. Do you want her to be in the hospital?” Jim asked.   
“No, she would cry.” Drake was still sobbing.   
“Don’t worry Drake we’ll all keep you busy and the time will fly by.” Blair was trying to keep Drake optimistic.   
“Doctor Myler came walking back into the room about four hours later and said, “Well he can go home today. And believe it or not, there is no swelling and no infection in his blood stream. So his sister can even go back home. You enjoy your family, Drake.”  
“Thank you, Doctor.” Drake called out as the man in the white coat left the room.   
They got Drake all ready to go and were on their way. Someone upstairs was looking out for them. That was for sure.   
They picked up Jade and took her home too and got everyone settled.   
Jim was sitting at the kitchen table writing some things down and Drake got on his lap and asked, “Homework for work?”  
“No, honey. We’re going to have a wedding here. For Uncle Simon and Auntie Sully.”  
“Can we help?” Drake loved to help with things.   
“You sure can.” Jim had Drake and Jade help him figure out the guest list, the food list, the drinks list and the music list. Then they looked through the phone book for rentals of tables and chairs. When they were done, Jim had almost the whole thing planned.   
“Geeze, Jim. Leave something for me.” Blair whined.   
“Baby, you’re doing the cooking. I’ve a list of things I think you should make. Tell me if you want something else. I’ll run to the store now.” Jim stood up as Blair looked at the list.   
“This is great Jim. Thanks for the help. Will you let Jade go with you now?” Blair asked quietly.   
“Drake, I’m going to take Jade with me because you should still be taking things easy. We’ll be back in a flash.” Jim kissed Drake and took Jades little hand and off they went.   
Jim sent out the invitations, that were beautiful. Two weeks later, Sully and Simon got married in the Sandburg-Ellison yard. Everything was beautiful and went smoothly. But the biggest hit was all the food that Blair made himself. Jim was so proud of him.   
Part of the wedding gift from Jim and Blair was a weekend at Cascade Towers, including mini-bar, room service and anything else they would need while in the hotel.   
When everyone had left, Jim started cleaning up. Blair came out and said, “It’s nice that another set of our friends have gotten married. I love Sully and she’s made Simon so happy. Thank you for helping me do this, Jim.”  
Jim hugged Blair and realized that he wanted to have a commitment ceremony for the two of them. He’d wait a month or so. But he really felt they needed that.   
When they fell asleep that night, they both had thoughts of marriage, children and happiness. God, had been very good to them both. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 36


	37. Do You Remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is going to have to expose their souls and we’ll see how that goes. Sad, at the beginning and then gets to be more fun. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m Angst Alert! Angst Alert!

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 37  
Do You Remember?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/22/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: What is it with me and angst? Geeze. At least this one’s half and half. 

Story Notes: Do You Remember? This is a wonderful survey and I’m breaking it into two, so it won’t be so large.

 

Summary: Everyone is going to have to expose their souls and we’ll see how that goes. Sad, at the beginning and then gets to be more fun. 

Warnings: m/m Angst Alert! Angst Alert!   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 38  
Do You Remember?  
Patt

Everyone met at Sullivan’s and got comfortable, because Connor said she had a good survey this time. 

They all sat down and waited for the questions to begin. 

“Hi everyone. Tonight’s survey is Do You Remember?” Connor said softly, while smiling. 

“I don’t remember what happened this morning, so I’m out.” Simon teased. 

“Ready?” Connor shouted. 

Everyone: Ready!!!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Do you remember falling in love?

Jim: Well that’s a dumb one. Of course we do.

Connor: You have to not only remember, but who, when and how you felt.

Jim: Shit…

Blair: Okay, I got this one. She was Glenda, and she and I were 14. I lost my virginity to her one night and we said we’d love each other forever. She was so fucking sweet. And we did love each other, as far as 14 year olds go. I went to college and never saw her again. But I felt some of those same feelings in college, so they might not have been true love. 

Simon: My first love was in college. Yes, I was a late bloomer. I was 19, her name was Tanya and we dated for about a year. We were very much in love. But you know how things happen and she broke up with me.

Blair: Why?

Simon: She caught me with someone else.

Sully: You’re kidding?

Simon: Sully I wouldn’t do it now. I was trying something out and she walked in.

Blair: What do you mean, you were trying something out?

Simon: Experimenting. 

Jim: I think we should leave some of Simon’s past private. 

Simon: Thank you, Jim. 

Blair: That just means that Jim has something to hide. 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Brown: Come on Jim, share. 

Jim: Well I didn’t date anyone in high school, because I was too busy with sports and school. I went to college before the service and didn’t have time for a social life. I was quiet and shy anyhow. Then I went into the service and you all know what happened there. So that turned me off for a long while. I came back home and joined the Police Academy. I met Carolyn there and we fell in love. She was the first person to ever treat me nice. It was wonderful for a long while. And she made me realize that sex could be a wonderful thing. Sex with Carolyn was a wonderful obsession. She was hot for me all the time. Sometimes we snuck into closets to fuck each other senseless. All I know is when I was with her, I loved her totally. But of course, all good things come to an end and she left me. You know the rest.

Everyone just sat there with their mouths hanging open. 

Connor: Jim, that was so sweet. It’s nice that you loved her that much. I’m glad you had her. 

Sully: Same here. 

Sam: Jim, you’re a deep loving person. I never would have guessed you would have said this. It sort of answers why you stick up for your ex all the time. 

Dan: That’s true. 

Blair: Jim, I didn’t know any of this.

Jim: I didn’t know you wanted to know any of it.

Blair: So, if she came back into your life and made you have that same good feeling, would you be tempted to be with her again?

Jim: Chief, don’t go there. 

Blair: Just answer. Yes, or no. 

Jim: I don’t know, Blair.

Connor: I was 16 when I lost my virginity, to the high school football star. And then he dumped me a month later. I was heartbroken and pregnant. I didn’t know what to do, so I had an abortion and swore that I would never love anyone ever again. Then I didn’t make love to anyone until I joined the force in Sydney. I went on an undercover assignment and was gang raped. So I wouldn’t allow myself to love anyone. Until I met Joel. 

Joel: Meggie, come here. (opening his arms she moves in and they hold on to each other.)

Joel: I’ve never been in love until Megan Connor. 

Simon: Never? You’ve been with others, I know that.

Joel: Yes, but not in love. People look at the outer package and go from there. I was always overweight and shy. So, no one went after me. No one but the bad ones anyhow. So Meggie was an answer to my prayers. She’s given me more than anyone could. 

Sully: Oh Joel, that is so nice. 

Dan: I’m telling you, this is going to be a tear jerker one isn’t it? 

Rafe: I fell in love the first time when I was 18. I was in college and she was so warm for my form. We couldn’t get enough of each other. She was beautiful, outgoing, loving and pregnant with our baby when we were 19. We didn’t think life could get any better than that. Two weeks before the baby was due, a drunk driver killed them both in an accident. So I swore I would never fall in love again. 

Brown: Bri, come here. (Brown pulled him into his arms and couldn’t believe he didn’t know this about his lover.)

Rafe: I love you so much, Henry. I just want you to know. I’ve had two loves. She was years ago and you’re my only other one.

Brown: Jesus, you’re so brave, baby. I love you so much. 

The two men just held on to each other and everyone else took it all in. 

Dan: Okay, I’ll go. I was going to college to be a medical examiner. You don’t get many dates that way. In fact, I got teased a lot. So when I was 20, I fell in love for the first time. But it only lasted for a year, and then it was over. Until I met Sam, I hadn’t found anyone to love. 

Sam: What happened babe?

Dan: We just broke up and that was that. 

Sully: Something terrible?

Dan: Sometimes you find out that someone doesn’t really love you at all. They’re just with you to make a joke. This was the case. 

Sam: Oh my baby. Come here. (she held him and kissed his pains away.) 

Dan: It was a man, Sam. 

Sam: What?

Dan: It was a guy. He was taking pictures of him fucking me for a year. I just wanted to tell you. I’m sorry.

Sam: Jesus Christ. Where was your family?

Jim: What would his family do?

Sam: They could have taken him away from that guy.

Dan: I wanted to be with him. I was so fucking in love with him. I got over it, but I just wanted to tell you.

Sam: Oh thanks, so much. (Sam got up and walked into the bathroom.)

Connor stood up and said, “I’ll be right back.”

She walked into the bathroom and said, “Get your ass back out there. He just opened himself up to you and you’re going to dump him? I don’t think so.”

“I never said I was going to dump him.” Sam said wiping the tears. 

“No one needs to tell me. I can tell myself. He’s such a good man. And he loves you so much.” Connor yelled. 

Sam walked back out to the table and climbed into Dan’s lap and started to cry. Dan held on tight and knew this was either good, or bad. // He needed her so badly. //

Dan: Sam, I would never cheat on you. Ever. I’ve never been with a man other than that time. I was so fucking lonely. Please don’t leave me.

Sam: I’m not leaving you, ever. I love you more than life itself. Jim tells me these sayings. (she smiled up at Jim.)

Brown: Okay, my turn. I fell in love when I was 12. And I stayed with her until I was 19. We were perfect for each other and I thought I had all of the answers. When I went to college she married someone else and didn’t even write and tell me. But I had seven years, of bliss. Then I dated a lot when I got to Major Crime. But nothing Major. (everyone laughed) I fell in love with my partner the third week I worked with him. I knew I couldn’t tell him, but I loved him. That’s when my sisters hung out with me more, because they knew I couldn’t tell Rafe how I felt. And if it wasn’t for this group, I never would have told him. God, I love you so much, Bri. 

Rafe: Thanks, H. I love you too. (they kissed and hugged.)

Jim: Can I add something?

Simon: Why not?

Jim: Blair, I love you more than I’ve loved anyone. You want to know if I would leave with my ex? Well there is no reason to worry. I’ve loved you ten times more than her from the start. I could never love anyone like I do you.

Blair climbed onto Jim’s lap and they kissed. Everyone started laughing and clapping. 

Blair: Thank you, Jim. I love you baby. 

Sully: My turn. I think I’m second to last. Well I was a slut, but sluts don’t fall in love. Or at least I thought they didn’t. Then I met Simon Banks. And yes, Simon, I’ve been with many men. Okay, not that many. But until I met you, I never had that funny feeling in my stomach that made me feel good and bad at the same time. I didn’t know what it was. I had to go and ask someone and they told me I was in love. (Sully blew a kiss to Jim.) And from that day on, I moved in the right direction. I knew what I wanted. I knew who I wanted and I would stop at nothing. Simon, you mean so much to me. And this baby is going to bring us even closer. I love you, I love your son, I love your friends but mostly, I love this group. We’re a family and we belong together. Forever. 

Simon got up and pulled Sully into his arms. They began to kiss and then Sully began to cry softly. Simon sat down and pulled her into his lap. 

Sam: I’d like to get this over with. I’ve never been in love until I met Dan. When I went to College, I was raped and I never got over that. I just couldn’t. I went to therapy, I tried it all, but nothing worked. Then I became a slut. And I’m ashamed to say that’s who you all met. I was still in my slut stage. I didn’t think I was good enough to have anyone. So when Dan wanted a relationship, I was so scared. But I dove in and figured what could it hurt? And I found out how much you can fall in love. He’s such a good man. I love you Dan and I’ll be with your forever.

Dan walked over and hugged her, but it was Dan that was crying. Not Sam. 

Simon: Well Connor, is this how it was supposed to go?

Connor: Yes. It’s going well. 

Simon: Go to the next one then. Geeze. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember, Laughing so hard your face hurts? 

Jim: Hell I still do that one. Sandburg cracks me up all the time. The kids do too. 

Blair: I agree. Those kids are such fun. And Jim is too. 

Simon: Well I miss Daryl. But soon we’ll have a new one to torment. 

Sully: What a nice thought, honey. 

Rafe: It’s been awhile. Let’s do something fun tonight, H. 

Brown: Sounds good to me, Bri. 

Dan: Sam and I laugh a lot. So I do remember this one. 

Sam: So true honey. 

Joel: Does this one mean do we remember laughing when we were young? Cuz if that’s the case, I’m a goner.

Connor: We make our own rules, honey bear. 

Joel: In that case you girls make me laugh every day. 

Connor: You are such a sweet man. 

Simon: Next????

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember a hot shower?

Jim: What’s this one mean? I had a hot shower today. 

Connor: Maybe it means, a warm shower outdoors. Standing in the rain?

Blair: Fuck… She’s a real romantic. 

Joel: Tell me about it. 

Dan: I can’t remember that. 

Sam: Neither can I. We need something easier. 

Simon: Sully and I ran threw a rain storm in the backyard about a month ago and before long, I was making love to my sweet wife while we were out there. Neighbors be damned. It was wonderful. 

Jim: Shit, how are we supposed to compete with that?

Sully: Find something that moves you and go for it. This was Simon’s. It was so beautiful. 

Joel: Meggie would our rain walks count? 

Connor: Yes, honey bear. They most certainly count. 

Rafe: I’ll let you know when it rains next, Ellison. 

Jim: Thanks, Rafe. 

Brown: Does this mean, we’re going to be walking in the rain?

Blair: Do we take the kids too?

Everyone burst out laughing. 

Blair: I was serious. 

Simon: Could we move on, Connor?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember no lines at the supermarket?

Jim: Hell yes. I loved the old stores. They were small and the people that ran them were family. It was great. 

Blair: I don’t think I remember that. 

Simon: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Sully: I remember there was a small store down the block from where we lived. It was great. 

Sam: Yes, it was. What happened to it?

Sully: Someone burned it down. 

Dan: That’s too bad.

Rafe: I hate when people have to ruin things we like. 

Brown: So true. 

Joel: I’m the oldest, so I really remember these things. God, the old stores were the best. (a look of melancholy took over his face.)

Simon: Move on, woman. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember a special glance?

Jim: Yup. I still get them. I love you, Chief. (sends a special glance Blair’s way)

Blair: I get them too. And I love you, big man.

Sully: God, this is a sweet one. Simon always remembers to give me a kiss, a hug and a glance before he goes to work. I love you, Simon. 

Simon: I love you back, Sully. And your glances are worth a lot in my book. 

Dan: Must be a family thing, because Sam gives the best glances. 

Sam: You are a dear, dear, man. I love you more than life itself. (again, borrowing Jim’s fave phrase.) 

Joel: Meggie always gives me wonderful glances and I swear they help me get through my tough days. Some of her glances make me hard. 

Connor: (laughing) I’m sure our boss could have gone without hearing that, but I love sending those glances. But you give great glance yourself. I’m going to fuck you so good when we get home.

Everyone burst out laughing again. 

Rafe: Henry always gives me a glance right before he wants something. And of course I give it to him. 

Brown: Bri, that’s not true. Sometimes I just give glances. 

Rafe: Okay, try some this week and I’ll see what happens. 

Brown: What happens is it takes so little to get your motor running and you’re on top of me. 

Simon: I knew it was going to happen. 

Rafe: Well, I fucking hope so. 

Simon: Why do I walk into these?

Jim: Because you’re easy?

Sully: NO, that would be me. 

Simon: I don’t want you to say that anymore.

Sully: Simon, we’ll talk later. I love you. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember getting regular mail?

Jim: Well duh. 

Blair: I get more email, so this one is interesting. 

Joel: I get a lot of mail. 

Connor: Honey bear, bills don’t count. 

Dan: (laughing) Well then I don’t get any either.

Sam: I don’t get much. 

Simon: I get none, other than bills. 

Sully: Same here. 

Rafe: We get tons of email though. 

Brown: Yes, we do. But we get a little regular mail from my family. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember taking a drive on a pretty road?

Jim: You know what? We’re going tonight. I know this one spot that’s perfection. I want you and the kids to see it.

Blair: I’m there, big man. I can’t wait. 

Sully: We should all go. 

Simon: No, it’s probably a very private place and they want to do things. 

Jim: Simon, we’re taking the kids.

Simon: When are you going?

Jim: Tomorrow night after dinner. 

Sam: Can we come too?

Jim: Sure. 

Dan: I can’t wait. 

Rafe: We’re close can we follow?

Jim: Yup. 

Brown: This is so cool. 

Joel: So Meggie and I could bring Ellie?

Jim: You’re asking? What are you nuts? 

Connor: Jim, you are a fantastic soul. I love you too. 

Jim: Oh and another thing, we all drive our own cars. Then we all park and watch the sun go down with our families. Sound good?

Everyone: Sounds great!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember lying in bed listening to the rain?

Sully: I love this one. We do this all the time. 

Simon: We do. 

Joel: Meggie and I listen every time we can. 

Connor: We do. 

Rafe: I love listening to the rain while in bed too. 

Brown: I do too. 

Jim: We even have one of those machines that has the sounds for when I can’t sleep. Because rain is my favorite sound. 

Blair: And it works like a charm. 

Dan: We love listening too. 

Sam: Yes, we do. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you remember hot towels fresh out of the dryer?

Jim: I love the smell and the smooth feeling on my skin. 

Blair: Boy, this is something I love too. 

Connor: But does anyone take their towels and put them in there right before their shower? Cuz that’s what I do for me and Joel. 

Joel: It’s great. 

Jim: I want this, Chief. 

Blair: Okay. 

Rafe: Are you taking notes, Henry?

Brown: No, tonight’s your night for notes. 

Sully: I’m going to start doing this too. 

Simon: Goody. 

Dan: I love warm towels. That would be great. 

Sam: We’ll start tomorrow. 

Connor: I love this idea too. I’m glad you do too. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: This one is so large that I’m going to do it in two weeks. So you all have to wait for the next batch. 

Jim: Sounds good to me. 

Jim’s cell went off and he answered it. “Ellison.”

“Hi Linda. What’s up? Oh, okay, I’ll get Blair.”

“Chief, Jade wants to talk to you.”

“Hi Jadey. What’s wrong?” There was total silence at Blair’s end and then Blair smiled and said, “Fine do you want to talk to Uncle Simon?”

Simon got on the phone and said, “Hello?”

“Uncle Simon, Daddy was posed to be home long time ago. So I want to go home with you.”

“Jade, you don’t mean that honey.” Simon said. 

“Yes I do. My daddy is mean.”

“So you’re going to come home with me tonight?” Simon asked again. 

“Yes, you have a way nicer penis.” Jade said and giggled. 

“Jade, your daddy has a very nice penis.” Then Simon realized where he was and blushed. 

“Did you see his penis?”

“No, I’ve never seen it.” Simon felt like he was going to throw up. 

“Uncle Simon, why is your penis brown?” Jade asked giggling again. 

“Because the rest of me is brown.”

“I like your penis. It was very nice. So can I sleep with you and Auntie Sully?” Jade asked. 

Blair took the phone and said, “Miss Jadey, you get your butt in bed and don’t say one more word about Uncle Simon’s penis. Do you understand me?” Blair had to pull the phone away when screams could be heard. 

Linda got back on and told Blair, “I’ll get her down Blair. Not to worry. This poor girl won’t give up about penises. She’ll probably get one put on when she’s grown up.”

“Well thanks a lot Linda. Way to give a guy nightmares.” Blair shut the cell and said, “You won’t believe what she said.”

“What?” Jim said coming back to the table.

“She said, Jadey will probably have a transplant when she gets old enough. Yuck.” Blair made a terrible face. 

“Simon, could I see that penis she’s so fond of?” Jim teased. 

“Not unless you’re going to do something with it.” Simon teased back. 

Both men realized they were hard just thinking about it. Simon said, “Jim, can I talk to you outside?”

“You’re giving off pheromones like wild tonight, Simon. And it’s only when you’re around me. Want to explain?”

“Shit, I’ve kind of wanted to try it with a guy for a long while. And I wanted to ask you, but then you met Blair and I knew I didn’t have a chance.” Simon took a huge breath. 

Jim smiled at him and said, “They’re all watching. I think they know. How is it they know and we didn’t know?”

“Jim, I knew.”

“Okay, me. I didn’t know. And I’m standing here hard as a rock, leaking all over the place.” Jim was shocked. 

Sully walked down and said, “Jim, he’s wanted you for some time. He told me. Do you want him?”

“Hell, I might, but I have to worry about Blair. I can’t fuck around on him. I can’t have Simon fuck around on you.” Jim was pacing. 

“Well that’s good then. We’ll go from there.” Sully unzipped Simon and pulled his cock out and Jim just stood there watching. 

He shook his head and walked away from them and went back to the group. They all watched Sully give him a kick ass blow job and all of them were horny as all get out. 

Blair ran his hand over the bulge in Jim’s jeans and started to rub and Jim almost moaned. “Let’s go home, big man. I’m going to fuck you senseless.”

“Blair that will only take about five minutes.” Jim laughed as they walked outside. 

As they were driving home, Blair asked, “So you want to fuck Simon?”

“No. I don’t. I realized what makes me so hot about this group is watching everyone with their spouses. But no, I don’t want to fuck Simon. I want to fuck you. Do you think I could do that tonight?” Jim asked. 

“If you do me really well, you can do it more than once.” Blair laughed as Jim almost came in his jeans. 

 

This had turned out to be an odd Sullivan’s Pub, but still fun and still filled with love. Everyone loved their mates more than existence itself and that’s the way life was supposed to be. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 37

Thank you for reading.

Come again.


	38. An Evening With Martha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is going to talk about their best sexual dreams. They’re a lot more fun then it sounds. And then it’s a survey at the end about Martha Stewart. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m f/m f/f m/m/f f/f/f/m I think you might get the point. There is a lot of talk of sex in this one.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 38  
An Evening With Martha  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/22/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: There is a lot of sex in this one, but not actual sex. Dreams and fantasies. Just warning ahead of time. 

Story Notes: For anyone that likes Martha Stewart, this might offend. 

 

Summary: Everyone is going to talk about their best sexual dreams. They’re a lot more fun then it sounds. And then it’s a survey at the end about Martha Stewart. 

Warnings: m/m f/m f/f m/m/f f/f/f/m I think you might get the point. There is a lot of talk of sex in this one.   
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 38  
An Evening With Martha  
Patt

Jim was watching Lancy, Ellie, Jade and Drake for the day. Then that evening he knew he would be out with his love. 

“Jade, what are you doing to Lancy?” Jim asked not really wanting to know. 

“I was just showing her where a penis could go.” Jade smiled at her Daddy. 

“Jade, you do that again, and you’re getting a spanking. Lancy, you tell me if she ever does that again.” Jim was pissed. 

Jade went and cried in her room for all of five minutes. 

“She never done nothing. What don’t I get to see?” Lancy asked. 

“Let’s play a game of chutes and Ladders.” Jim suggested. 

Ellie was fussing in his arms and he went and got her bottle ready. Once it was done, he sat at the table and while she drank it, he played with the children. 

When Connor walked in she could hear the kids all laughing and playing a game. She saw her daughter lying across Jim drinking her bottle. She sat down next to Jim and said, “How has your day been?”

“Great. I love these kids. Even mine.” Jim said laughing. 

“Jade, did you do anything to upset your daddy today?” Connor asked. 

Jade got big tears in her eyes and said, “He said he’s going to spank me if I ever show Lancy where a penis goes.”

Connor held her laugh in and said, “He’s right. You don’t do that missy. Promise you won’t do that again?”

“I promise. I want my daddy to love me again.” Jade said sniffing sadly. 

“Jade come and give me a kiss. I always love you. But you can’t talk about penises, especially to other children. Do you understand?” Jim hated when he had to be stern, but knew it was part of being a dad. 

Connor held out her hands to her little girl and Ellie turned the other way so she could stay with Jim. “Someone loves her Uncle Jim. I wonder why?”

“Hush Connor. She’s precious. I love being with her. So do Drake and Jade.” Jim smiled over at her. 

“I wish I had someone to hold.” Connor said sadly and Drake jumped down from the table and flung himself into Connor’s arms. “I love you Auntie Megan.”

“Well I love you too, sugar. Let’s cuddle for awhile and you can tell me what’s going on in your life.” 

Jim got up and went to Ellie’s room and laid her in her crib. It was nice having a room for his other angel. He just stood and watched over her while Connor was talking to the children. 

Drake and Connor were heading into the bathroom. “Problems?” Jim asked. 

“No, no problems. He wants to talk to me in private.” Connor walked into the bathroom and Jim went back into the dining area. 

Jim heard Connor burst out laughing and hardly able to catch her breath. Finally she came walking out and her face was red. 

“Something is wrong?” Jim was worried now. 

“Jim, could I talk to you for a moment? Jade, you and Lancy stay right here.” Connor said as she walked into Jim’s bedroom.

“What’s wrong? Something happened to Drake?” Jim was past worried now. 

“Jim sit down and let me tell you a few things.” She waited for Jim to sit and then began. “Do you know that the penis fairy comes to Drake now too?”

“Yeah, he gets it in the morning, he’s been quite proud of that.” Jim didn’t know what that had to do with anything. 

“Well he gets them other times and he took me in the bathroom to show me his penis. He asked me if it’s as good as yours.” She started laughing again. 

“This is not fucking funny.” Jim sighed. 

“Then he asked me if I wanted to rub it. I told him no, of course not and he began to masturbate right in front of me.” Again, Connor started laughing. “I had a brother that did this all the time. Finally my Mum had to just ignore it.”

“Connor, I’m not going to ignore it. Jesus, I have two kids and both of them are sex crazed.” Jim just hung his head and looked frustrated.

“Well I have an idea, but it’s a mean, evil idea.” Connor began. 

“I’m ready for it.” Jim answered. 

“You march into the bathroom, to your masturbating son, and tell him that if he shows his penis to anyone again, you’re going to leave him. And if he does anything with his penis to Jade, you’ll leave him.”

“Jesus, Connor. I can’t do that.”

“Fine. Then whine to someone else.” Connor started out of the room. 

“I’ll do it.” Jim walked out and made his way into the bathroom and shut the door. Sure enough Drake was having a good time with his penis. 

“Daddy, I love this penis. It feels so good.” Drake smiled at Jim. 

“Drake, Auntie Megan told me what you showed her and said to her. Now I’m very angry. So this is the deal. If you ever show anyone your penis again, I’m leaving. If you ever ask anyone to touch your penis again, I’m leaving. Do you understand?” Jim was on the verge of tears. His little boy had stopped and was crying. 

“Drake, come here.”

“Daddy, I promise. I won’t do that again. Ever. I love you and I don’t want you to move.” Drake was sobbing by this time. 

“What are you going to do now?” Jim asked. 

“Tell Auntie Megan I’m sorry?” Drake asked. 

“That’s right. Wash up first. Now go out there and do the right thing.” Jim led him out of the room, once his pants were up and zipped. 

Connor held him for a long while and said she forgave him. Then he fell asleep and she laid him down in his room. 

“Hey hot shot, want some help with dinner?” Connor asked Jim. 

“That would be great, Connor. Thank you.” The two of them worked side by side and were laughing while the girls played the game at the table. 

“Jim, have I ever told you how nice it is that you have a room for Ellie here?”

“You’re welcome, Missy.” Jim leaned in to give her a fast kiss and she moved and their lips hit. 

“Oh looky, my daddy and Auntie Megan are kissing. I’m telling Poppy when he gets home.” Jade was giggling at the table. 

“Sorry about that. I was going to kiss your cheek. You’re very sweet.” And again, he leaned in and they kissed on the lips this time, on purpose. 

“Poppy’s going to be mad. Auntie Megan, move.” Jade yelled, as she shoved her. 

“Wow, she’s like having a guard dog handy.” Connor laughed. 

Blair and Joel walked in the front door at that moment and Jade said, “Uncle Joel, Auntie Megan was kissing my Daddy.”

“What?” The look of hurt on Joel’s face was hard to miss.

“Joel, he was going to kiss my cheek and I moved to kiss his and we locked lips. It was actually funny, sweetheart.” Connor explained. 

Joel looked at Jim and saw his blush and said, “Want to explain, Ellison?”

“It’s like she said it was, except once I tasted her lips, I just stayed there a moment. I’m sorry.” Jim looked over at Blair and saw the hurt. 

“I’m going to get Ellie and go home. You do whatever you want.” Joel walked into the bedroom and went to pick his daughter up and Megan pulled him back. She pushed him on the double bed that was in the room and began to kiss him. “Baby, it was an accident and it was embarrassing for both of us.”

Joel stripped her of her clothes and started to lick and suck her until she was moaning with pleasure. Soon he slid his nice cock into her and began to fuck her as hard as he could, without waking Miss Ellie up.

In the kitchen Jim could hear them making love. Hell, he could smell them making love and it was making him hard as a rock. 

“So who is that for?” Blair pointed to the erection. 

“It’s for you, baby. I can’t help it, Blair. I can hear and smell everything and it makes me more open to sexual things.” Jim tried to explain. 

“You know what? Why don’t you finish and I’ll lie down. I might stay out of trouble there.” Jim went into their room. 

// Jim’s Dream Sequence. //

Joel and Connor came walking out of the bedroom with Ellie. Joel walked over to Jim and said, “This is how she tastes.” Joel kissed him and Connor and Blair just stood there watching the two men kiss. 

Blair cleared his throat until the men moved away from each other. 

Joel leaned into Blair and kissed him. And Blair kissed him back too. Joel was a fucking great kisser.

Jim said to Megan, “Dinner is done, but could you wait a moment. I need to speak with Blair.”

“I see that.” Connor laughed as she looked at Jim’s hard on. 

“Chief, I need your help.” Jim almost raced for the bedroom. 

“I think I can do that for you.” Blair laughed. Once he got inside he locked the door and took his clothes off. 

Jim was already naked on the bed. Blair’s cock was larger than Jim ever remembered seeing it. Blair got Jim ready and fucked him senseless, which didn’t take too long. Jim was trying to be as quiet as he could, but that’s easier said than done. 

“You ever going to kiss Connor again?” Blair asked. 

“No way.”

“You going to think about fucking her?” 

“Well now that’s something different. I have fantasies about my friends.” Jim said blushing. 

“You’re kidding? You think about fucking our friends?” Blair kissed him at that moment and Jim knew he wasn’t in trouble. 

“Yeah, I think about it a lot. I think something is wrong with me.”

“Nah, you’re just normal. Most people would just keep it to themselves. I love that you open yourself up to me.” Blair kissed him again. 

“Can I tell you what I was thinking about Joel?”

“Sure, tell.”

“I wanted him to take me in that same room and fuck my brains out. You and Connor would be fucking at the same time. Now tell me that’s not sick?”

“Babe, it’s not sick. I promise. Joel’s probably still out there with a hard on.” Blair noticed that Jim was hard again and Blair said, “Hang on, big man.”

Blair got his jeans on and walked out the door. When he came back he had Joel with him.

Jim blushed laying on the bed. He didn’t know what to do or say.

“Blair tells me that you were thinking about me fucking you. I’m going to go ask Meggie and I’ll be right back.” He walked out the door and Jim knew Connor wasn’t going to go along with it. 

The door opened and it was Connor. “Is this true? You’d like him to fuck you?”

“I didn’t mean to cause problems. I’m sorry.” Jim said. 

“Jim, we’ve got people coming over. Remember that?”

“Oh yeah, sorry.” Jim started to get up, but Connor shoved him back down. She slid her panties off and then sat on his cock. 

Jim about went nuts. “Oh fuck… He started shoving his cock up into her and she came with a sweet sound and he came right after her.”

// End Jim’s Dream Sequence. //

“Jim, wake up. It’s time to go to Sullivan’s. Boy you were having one helluva dream. Oh my, you came in your pants. What’s going on, Jim?”

“Since when have I been sleeping?”

“Since right after I found out you were kissing Connor and she was kissing you.” Blair smiled. 

“Wow, I had a wicked dream. I’ll tell you later.” Jim got up and cleaned up and put on new clothes. // You are never telling him that fucking dream. //

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Everyone arrived at Sullivan’s and Blair said, “Before we begin this survey, I’d like to discuss fantasies. I want to hear if anyone else has them.”

Connor giggled and said, “I have some.”

“Connor, I think we should keep our thoughts to ourselves.” Simon growled. 

Joel: I agree with Blair. 

Blair: Who wants to go first?

Joel: I don’t mean, I want this. I just think about it and it makes me very hot. Okay, here goes. I have this recurring dream that I have a guys night of poker. Everyone here comes, well I mean the guys. Anyhow, one at a time, I suck your cocks. And everyone else watches. Then when I’m done, Jim gets up and starts doing the same thing. We all do it. We never play any fucking poker. We just suck each other off. 

Blair: Whoa. Talk about making me sweat. I liked that Joel. Anyone else like it? Joel, could you suck it now? 

Simon: See, this is what’s going to happen Joel. He’ll make fun and you’ll get your feelings hurt. 

Joel: Simon, you’re closer, could you suck him?

Simon: You’re all fucking weird. 

Blair: I’ll go next. I keep having this dream that I’m in the bullpen and Jim won’t let me wear any clothing. He won’t let anyone touch me until a certain time. Then the bell rings and he tells whomever is up, that they get to touch me. Like last night, the bell goes off and Jim stands up with a huge erection I might add and says, “Simon, you get to eat him.” And Simon proceeds to come over and do that. This goes on all day long. And it’s not just the guys. It’s women too. I get fucked and sucked all day long. It’s a wild day in the bullpen. Next?

Jim: Shit, Sandburg. Why have I never heard this?

Blair: I didn’t think you’d like it. 

Jim: I do.

Blair: I’ve got more.

Connor: Okay, my turn. I keep having the same dream over and over again. It’s only one person. But Joel doesn’t object. He lets him lick, suck and fuck me. And I seem to be horny all the time these days. Next?

Joel: Baby doll? There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you. So you talk to me about this. And then we’ll talk to him about it. 

Blair: Wow, open marriage.

Connor: No, it’ll never happen. That’s why they’re called fantasies. 

Blair: Is there anyone here that would allow someone else to touch their wife or SO?

Rafe: Sure, as long as I was there too. 

Brown: Me too.

Jim: I might. 

Joel: Same here. 

Dan: I would. 

Sam: I would too. 

Sully: I would. 

Simon: Sully what are you talking about?

Sully: Sometimes it would be nice to do something new.

Simon: We’re not.

Sully: Fantasies are out for us. (frowning)

Blair: Who is next?

Jim: All right, I’ll go. I keep having a fantasy about someone in this group, female, and I’m so fucking hot for her, I can’t hardly control it. Chief, I don’t mean hot as in I want her forever, hot. I mean hot as in, you make me fucking hot. But I ask her over all the time and while I lick, suck and fuck her, Blair does her husband. And then her husband does Blair. It’s a wild time. We could never sleep in these damn dreams. (Laughing)

Blair: I like that one big boy. 

Sam: I have dreams about all of the men in this room. You’re sitting around a table and I’m lying naked on this table and you don’t touch me. Then the women in the group come into the room and begin to touch me. Sully, I have problems with you doing anything sexual, so you just advise the men on what they should do. First Dan gets up and he’s naked. Did I mention they’re all naked? Anyhow, he gets up and climbs on the table and starts licking and sucking until I come. One of my gal pals then starts pumping his cock until he comes. Then Simon stands up and says he doesn’t want to do this but he still climbs in between my legs and licks and sucks me. Again, one of the gal pals pump his cock until he’s shooting all over the place. Do you all get the picture? I wake up so horny when I have this dream. And sorry I made fun of you, Simon. 

Simon: I would be saying that as I started to lick you. I might want to do it, but I wouldn’t really want to do it. 

Sam: What? Want to explain that better? 

Simon: I mean, even if I wanted to lick you in my fantasies, I wouldn’t. You’re my sister-in-law.

Sam: Okay, you’re safe. 

Sully: My turn. Stop with the dirty looks Dan, you can go next. Mine is fairly simple. It’s one person and he comes over and he talks both Simon and I out of our clothes and we all three end up on the bed. He touches Simon and Simon doesn’t freak out in my dream. And I kid you not, it’s hot. It’s fucking hot. When he fucks him, I come in my sleep every single time. 

Simon: When I fuck him or he fucks me?

Everyone laughs. 

Sully: Does it matter? Anyhow, then both of you boys, take such good care of me that I just keep coming over and over again. Simon, you tongue fuck me till I about pass out each time. Then our visitor takes me in my ass. I kid you not, I wake up like a million bucks after I come that many times in my sleep. 

Dan: Oh Simon? I think the mystery person would be fucking you. You have a wonderful ass and I’m sure he’s noticed too.

Everyone roars with laughter. 

Dan: Okay, on to my dreams. I mostly dream of just Sam and the baby. But lately I’ve been having dreams of all of you in different stages of dress. Like for instance, Connor comes down to the morgue and she’s naked and climbs onto a table and asks me to take care of her. So what can I do? I do it. And Connor in my dream, you are quite the spitfire. But this happens all day long, Blair comes down and he’s naked and he asks me if I’ll fuck him. But first I suck him and then I fuck him. I’ve come in my dreams a few times lately. Then my dream switches to Jim. Jim is out in his SUV and he opens the door and he’s naked. We drive off to a deserted spot and Jim fucks my brains out. He’s so gentle and kind that I get tears in my eyes when I start to get hard again. He does me three times each dream. 

Jim: I wish it was like that in real life. 

Dan: Anyhow, everyone in these dreams is naked, and you all look wonderful and by the time it’s morning, I’m naked too. It’s a wonderful dream. I even fuck my sister-in-law and not feel guilty about it. Course that’s while Simon is fucking me. 

Rafe: Hot damn. You guys have good dreams. Okay, I dream about sneaking into Jim and Blair’s house and having a foursome. I think of it all the time. I don’t know what person does who. I just know it makes me hard and sometimes I come before I wake up. 

Brown: And what’s weird is I have the same dream, but with different people in it. My guests are Dan and Sam. I sneak into their home and we just fuck each other senseless. I also come before I wake up. I feel like a teenager. 

Sully: Simon, please tell me you dream of something sexual. You’re just too sexual not to. (she begins to rub his cock through his pants and he’s growing by leaps and bounds.)

Simon: Fine. Okay, I don’t want this brought up again. I have this dream of someone sucking me off in my office and it’s not Sully.

Sully: Come on, Simon. Share. 

Simon: Anyhow, he sucks me every single day two or three times a day. Then one day he talks me into shutting the blinds and locking the door and he gets out from underneath the desk.

Everyone starts laughing really hard. 

Jim: Hey you guys. Give him a break. (Holding in the laughter)

Simon: He brings something in his pocket, but isn’t wearing clothing, so don’t know where the pocket is. And it’s lube. He asks if he can fuck me and I agree to it. He’s very gentle and very sweet. When he enters me, it hurts a little but not too bad and before long I’m howling for release. Then the guys in the bullpen think that someone is hurting me, so they open up the door and find him fucking me. They’re naked too. They stand there and watch as he fucks me and they start whacking off. Stop laughing all of you. 

Sully: Honey, I’m so proud of you. I never dreamed you would have a dream like that. Made me hot. But it was also funny. 

Jim: I liked it. 

Simon: Good.

Blair leaned into Jim and whispered, “It’s you.”

Jim smiled again. 

Simon: I think we all talk too much about sex. 

Blair: Never could it be too much. 

Jim walked up to the bar to get some drinks and heard Sully come up. “Ever think about having a foursome?”

“Sully, he’s my boss.”

“He wants you bad. He says your name in his sleep.”

“I’ll talk to Blair about it.” They both got their drinks and went back to the Sullivan’s Room. Jim didn’t want to even think about this.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: What Martha Stewart would say and what a normal person would say. 1. MARTHA STEWART If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

REAL WOMEN If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too fucking  bad.  Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Jim: (Laughing) Blair said this the other day. 

Blair: I did. 

Sully: I say this all the time. I hate Martha Stewart. 

Simon: So do I. 

Sully: Say it, or hate her?

Simon: Hate her. She’s a twit. 

Blair: She’s a twitlett. That’s a twit in training. She’s not good enough to be a twit. 

Brown: I’ve said this before. And I hate her too. 

Rafe: She has some good cooking ideas now and then. 

Brown: Bri, if you don’t stop watching her shit, I’m throwing away the tv.

Connor: I say this a lot and I hate her too. 

Joel: Honey, remember that one year we made something for Christmas from her? (Connor gives him a go to hell look.) Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry. 

Everyone laughs. 

Sam: She’s evil and should be stopped. 

Dan: I really don’t know who she is, but I do know that Sam says this about food sometimes. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 2. MARTHA STEWART Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.  
The throbbing will go away.

REAL WOMEN Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink.  You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Connor: Is this true or what? 

Rafe: This is Henry. 

Brown: It is. 

Joel: I love tequila, so this would work well at our house. 

Jim: I love it too, but I rarely get headaches. 

Blair: Jim, did you get brain damage today? 

Jim: Why?

Blair: You always have headaches. 

Jim: Baby, I keep limes in my glove compartment. Martha tells me what to do. (Howling with laughter)

Sam: I love this one. I can’t stop laughing. 

Dan: I love the drinking part. 

Sam: Oh Dan honey, maybe you and Jim could get drunk and he’d get naked and take you for a drive. 

Dan: Shut up, Sam. 

Jim: I don’t have to be drunk. 

Blair: He doesn’t. He’s easy. Martha would be so displeased. 

Simon: See, I knew that those dreams would come back to haunt us. 

Sully: Honey, only yours would be worth a haunting. 

Everyone laughed long and hard. Simon looked very confused.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 3. MARTHA STEWART Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

REAL WOMEN Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake.  You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Simon: I totally agree with her on this. I lie down while I eat mine. No mess that way. 

Sully: You have to see it. It’s a fine art. I think I should call Martha. 

Simon: I don’t want her in our house.

Dan: Well I want to come see how well you do this. I drip all over the place. 

Sam: He does. But I just lick it off and from now on, he’s going to be naked. 

Jim: Oh yeah, I see it now. We’re all going to hear about our dreams. Well except for Simon’s. We want to forget his.

Blair: Now that’s not nice. Especially since you were the main star. 

Jim: Shut up, Chief. 

Brown: I might try the marshmallows and see how that works. 

Rafe: You just want the damn marshmallow.

Brown: What if I do?

Rafe: I’m calling Martha on you. 

Brown: Oh god, anything but that. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 3. MARTHA STEWART To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

 

REAL WOMEN Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Jim: Well what would keep the apple from rotting? She’s a twit. I mean, what if you didn’t look for that apple for a week or more? It would be gross. Someone, write to her and tell her this. 

Blair: Babe, I do. Every week I write and tell her she’s stupid. 

Jim: Well don’t tell her that. 

Blair: What? You’re sticking up for Stewart now? 

Jim: No baby. Never. She’s evil and must be stopped. 

Sam: Good boy. I agree with Jim though. That apple would rot. 

Dan: I think you’re all nuts. 

Sam: That’s beside the point. Would the apple rot in the potato bag? 

Dan: Of course it would. 

Rafe: I agree with Dan. 

Brown: She’s weird. 

Simon: Who?

Brown: Martha. 

Simon: I thought you meant Connor and I was going to agree. 

Connor: Hey, I’ve been being good. 

Joel: You have been. Want some candy little girl?

Simon: I’m telling you, you’re all nuts and sex crazed. 

Sully: I don’t know how to tell you this, but you are too.

Simon: Not anymore. (Then realizing what he said, tried to backpedal.) I mean, we have to take things easier now.

Jim: There is no reason not to have a good sex life. You don’t have to have intercourse for that.

Blair: He should know, we went a long, long time without penetration.

Simon: How long?

Blair: About five months I think. 

Simon: And you just kept having sex without the penetration part?

Jim: Of course.

Simon: Thanks, everyone. Sully, I’ll try harder. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 4. MARTHA STEWART When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

REAL WOMEN Go to the bakery.  They'll even decorate it for you.

Blair: Whoa, this is so me. 

Jim: Now, on this one I might agree with her. 

Sully: Jim, we don’t want to hurt you. 

Sam: Yes, and we will hurt you and it won’t be fun hurt. 

Jim: What’s fun hurt? Am I going to play?

Simon: I told you. 

Connor: I think she’s stupid and I go to the bakery each time. 

Joel: Actually, Jim is right on this one. It would get rid of that white powder on the cake. 

Connor: Joel, you go and get it at the bakery and it’s easier. 

Sam: I agree. 

Connor: With who?

Sam: Whoever will give me more sex. 

Dan: Then I think it’s best to go to the bakery. And Sam gets all the sex she wants. 

Rafe: I’ve never made a cake. So it’s stupid to me.

Brown: I have and it’s still stupid. She’s evil. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 5. MARTHA STEWART Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

REAL WOMEN The Mrs.  Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

Connor: This is so true. 

Joel: I agree with my baby. 

Brown: I love Mrs. Smiths pies. Now why not have a survey about that? 

Everyone laughs. 

Rafe: Henry, I’m going to have to punish you when we get home. 

Jim: Whoa. What do you mean? Did we miss something?

Rafe: No, I mean, I’m going to make him eat a real pie. 

Jim: Boring. 

Blair: Jim, I think you need more sex. 

Jim: I’ve been saying that. 

Simon: I think you should take it away from him. 

Sully: But then he’d look elsewhere. 

Jim: I would never fuck around on Blair. Never. 

Sully: I’m sorry Jim. 

Simon: Don’t yell at my wife again. 

Jim: Sully, I’m sorry.

Sully: Jim, I’m sorry too. 

Dan: Back to the pies, I do brush egg whites all over the crust and they do shine.

Sam: When?

Dan: You’re just supposed to agree with me. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 6. MARTHA STEWART If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.  
They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

REAL WOMEN Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

Jim: I’m going to try that. 

Blair: (smacks Jim) Yeah, try it and see what happens pally. 

Rafe: Bring it to me, Jim. I’ll open it for ya. 

Brown: Well, he’ll hold it while I open it for you. 

Blair: Hell I open them. What was I thinking?

Sully: Simon’s great at this. 

Simon: Good, I’m great for opening jars. 

Sully: Honey, you really want me to list the things that you’re good at?

Simon: How right you are. 

Dan: I open my own. 

Sam: So do I. 

Connor: Joel’s strong. 

Joel: Hell you wouldn’t believe how I get them open. 

Jim: With your dick?

Joel: (laughing) No, Meggie opens them.

Simon: You’re right, poor guy needs more sex. 

Jim: Is that like an offer?

Simon: Time to move this along. 

Jim: Simon, you’re a cock tease. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: And finally the most important tip - MARTHA STEWART Don't throw out all that leftover wine.  Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

REAL WOMEN Leftover wine??

 

Connor: Now this is me. God, I’m cracking up just thinking about it. 

Joel: We open one and drink it. 

Rafe: Us too. 

Brown: Yup, never a drop left. 

Jim: I love whine. I want more sex. I want more sex. I want more sex.

Blair: Not that kind of wine, baby.

Jim: Oh, in that case, we drink the whole bottle also.

Sully: We drink a whole bottle too. 

Simon: I think we’re all drunks. 

Sam: But happy drunks. 

Dan: Happy, happy, joy, joy. 

 

Connor: Goodnight everyone. Drive safe and see you next week. Well, next week here. I’ll see you tomorrow at work. And we’ll all see each other in our dreams. Make them good, make them happy and make us all horny. Night. 

Everyone roared as they walked out of Sullivan’s. Another fun evening. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 38

Thank you for stopping by. 

Tell your friends.


	39. Who Is Having a Birthday?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blair is having a birthday and thinks that Jim forgot all about him. Like that is possible.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 39  
Who Is Having A Birthday?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/22/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Very sweet one ahead.   
Story Notes: Thank you Kris for the ammo. It was so much fun to work with. 

 

Summary: Blair is having a birthday and thinks that Jim forgot all about him. Like that is possible. 

Warnings: m/m 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 39  
Who Is Having A Birthday?  
Patt

 

Jim handed out the invitation on the sly all day long. He was hoping that many people would come. Poor Blair thought that everyone had forgotten his day. Jim almost gave in a few times, but Simon and Joel toughened him up. 

Six people went to lunch and no one mentioned his Birthday. Blair was in total shock. How could everyone forget him? He could understand Jim forgetting him, but not everyone. During lunch, all they talked about was the new Sullivan’s Pub Survey. // Fuck… //

The day flew by thankfully, so Blair could go home and feel sorry for himself. Even his children didn’t remember his birthday. 

“Jim, can you pick the kids up?” Blair asked sadly. 

“Sure Chief. Are you going home?”

“Yeah, why?” Blair asked nervously. 

“I was just going to say, stir fry sounds damn good for dinner tonight. And you know how much the kids love it.” Jim knew Blair was upset and almost gave in, when Simon said, “Jim, could you come in here please?”

“See you at home, Chief.” Jim walked away, feeling badly. 

When Jim walked into Simon’s office he looked like someone had taken away his best friend. 

Simon smiled and said, “You’re the one that wanted it to be a total surprise. So now you have to stick with the plan. It’s going to be great.”

“I know. I just feel like shit.” Jim had his head hanging down. 

Joel walked in and said, “Feeling bad again, Jim?”

“If you two are done making fun of me, I’ve got some kids to pick up.” Jim stomped out of the office and Blair watched his enraged lover. // What’s going on? And how come I don’t know? //

By the time Jim and the kids arrived home, Blair had dinner all made. They came through the door and Jade yelled, “Poppy, Poppy. We missed you today.”

Drake smiled and hugged Blair’s leg and said, “I missed you too.”

“Well I’m glad someone did.” Blair kissed both of the kids. 

Jade looked serious and said, “Daddy didn’t you miss him today?”

Jim smiled and said, “I sure did. I missed him a lot. In fact, I’m going to go help him get in the tub right now, and tell him how much.”

“No, you’re not. Dinner is done. Get washed up all of you.” Blair ordered. 

Jim pretended to be scared and ran for the kid’s bathroom. They ran screaming behind him. Blair could hear the giggling and decided, he needed to stop feeling sorry for himself. It was time to grow up.

After dinner Jim bathed both of the kids and got them in bed. Blair went in and read a short story to each of them. Blair fell asleep on Drakes bed for about an hour before Linda came to sit with the kids. 

“Chief, did you want to go to Sullivan’s tonight or just sleep?” Jim teased. 

“I’m just staying home tonight. I’m too tired. You go and have a good time.” Blair headed for their room and Jim cut him off at the pass. 

“No way. You know them, they’ll think I did something shitty to you. Please go with me?”

“Fine, give me five minutes to do something with this bedhead.”

When he walked off, Jim winked at Linda and they both almost laughed. 

“Wow, looks busy tonight. I hope we still get our room.” Blair said in passing. 

Jim smiled and said, “I’m sure being the owner has it’s perks.” Jim of course was talking about Sully. 

“That’s true. Why am I worried?” Blair giggled and they walked through the door of their own special room and everyone yelled “Surprise!” Blair looked up and saw a huge sign from the bullpen gang that made him tear up. 

 

Blair looked over at Jim and whispered, “I thought you forgot me.”

“I could never forget you, Chief. Never.” Jim leaned in for a long kiss. 

“Wow, where did all of this food come from?” Blair asked. 

“I had it catered and it was impossible to get you here without you eating so I know you’re not hungry. So, we have a special platter made up for our house too.” Jim kissed him yet again. 

This time he kept Jim close to him and said softly, “Jim, this is the nicest thing you could ever do. I love you so much.”

“I’ll show you how much I love you when we get home.” Jim gave him that look that made Blair hard already. 

Everyone was eating and drinking and having a very good time. Blair sat down next to Joel and smiled at him. “Thank you Joel. I know you helped him get through this. I know he didn’t want me to think he forgot my day, right?”

“You don’t know the half of it. But he and I went shopping today and I found a perfect painting for your bedroom. I hope you’ll like it too. Jim loved it.”

“Bring it on, big guy.” Blair laughed as Joel jumped up and picked his present up. 

Blair opened it and everyone was oohing and aahing. It was beautiful. He looked at both of them and said, “Thank you Megan and Joel. This is perfect for our room.”

Everyone clapped and then it was passed around. 

Art by Suse!

Blair continued to open one present after another and was shocked at how nice everything was. He figured that Jim must have had a hand in all of that too. This was probably the nicest birthday he’d ever had. He kept looking over and smiling at Jim. Jim was giving him another one of those smiles that made him hard from across the room. Geeze, what that man could do to him. There was one present left and he picked it up and it was a leather bound set of all of Burton’s works. He knew this one was from Jim. He could feel it. He felt the love coming off that leather that Jim would have touched over and over again, seeing if it was right for his lover. Blair was indeed the luckiest man alive. 

“Hey, there is no card with this.” Blair laughed as he watched Jim’s face. “Thank you, big man. It’s perfect. This whole night has been perfect.”

Jim got up and looked at the table and saw his card and handed it to Blair. “Here you go.”

 

Everyone laughed at the face Blair made and then Blair burst out laughing and sat down with the card and looked like he was going to cry. Jim walked over and sat next to him and said, “Everything all right, Chief?”

“Jim, this looks just like me in the morning with my coffee, walking all over you. God, this perfect.” He moved into Jim’s arms and Jim let Blair just be in his space for a while. 

Joel walked over and said, “Can we see it?”

Jim handed the card to them, and they howled as they passed it around. 

Brown yelled across the room, “Hey Sandburg, Tweety is a boy bird, right?”

Everyone again burst out laughing. Everyone except the main group began leaving and Blair got up as Jim said, “Sit back down. You’re not done yet.”

“Not by a long shot.” Simon teased. 

“We all bought you tee shirts with favorite saying on it. What we think you would say or do. So, hopefully you’ll agree. We all love you very much and hope you’ll like this idea.” Sully stood with her shirt and said, . "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you" When the laughter died down, she turned it around and let Blair see how beautifully the shirt was done. It wasn’t just a cheap tee shirt. No way. It was beautiful. 

Blair got up and smiled and kissed her. “Is this from both of you?”

“No, he got his own.” Sully sat back down and so did Blair. 

“I’m next.” Brown said standing up. He turned the shirt around and everyone howled. It read, "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.” 

“Henry, I love it. I love it.” He hugged H, for a long time. And it’s one of my favorite colors. 

“I know, I asked Jim. He made suggestions on fabric and color. We didn’t ask his opinion on the sayings. They would have been boring.” Brown laughed as he watched Jim growl at him. 

“Hey, H. Don’t be dissing my boy.” Blair reached up and kissed Henry and walked back to Jim. 

Simon stood up and said, “Now if you don’t like this, give it to me. Because I loved it.” 

Sully added, “Honey, you don’t wear the same sizes.”

“Oh yeah. Well, here it is, "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?" And Jim said this was a favorite color too. He better not have lied. 

“Simon, it’s perfect, I love it thank you.” Blair walked over and gave him a big hug and Simon leaned down and kissed the top of Blair’s head. “Happy Birthday, Sandburg.”

“Thank you Simon.” 

Rafe jumped up and said, “I can’t wait any longer.”

“Well run to the bathroom really fast and we’ll wait for you.” Connor teased. 

“Very funny, can I show him his shirt from me now?” Rafe was acting like a small child. 

“Go for it.” Connor laughed. 

“Okay, here you go, Hairboy, "Why don't you try practicing random acts of  
intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"

Blair was bent over with laughter and said, “Thank you, Brian. It’s perfect. You know me so well.” He walked over and gave him a kiss and a hug and thanked him again. 

Joel stood up next and said, “My turn, pal. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."

Everyone laughed as Blair went to collect his shirt and hug Joel. He got a kiss from Joel too. 

Connor said, “Well this shirt screamed Sandy. Honestly it did. They were glad I bought it cuz it was scaring off the other customers.” She turned it around and it said, "This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting"

 

Megan got a huge hug and kiss for that. She knew he would love it. As Blair walked back to his seat, Henry said, “Ellison, he’s not going to want any sex later, he’s getting enough right here.”

“What, Connor didn’t tell you the rest? Everyone gets a chance to blow him for his birthday.” Jim laughed at the look on everyone’s face. Blair was howling. // They believe him. You have to love this bunch. //

Dan stood up and said, “Okay, I’m game. I’ll do the blowing and the tee shirt. Come here Sandburg. I’ll show you your tee shirt when I’m done.”

Blair marched over there and Dan said, “You want this?”

Sam said, “I think he does.”

Sam reached down and started to undo his jeans and Jim said, “That’s enough.”

Blair looked over at his lover and said, “Suck me, baby?”

Jim pushed him over to the other side of the room and no one saw anything, but Jim’s head moving up and down, in and out and Blair almost screamed when he came down Jim’s throat. 

Simon looked over at Dan and said, “You were joking right?”

“Right.” Dan answered as he adjusted his cock in his jeans. 

Jim zipped Blair back up and they walked back over to the table. “Dan are you giving me a shirt or not?” Blair laughed as he headed over that way. 

“I saw this and said, this is Blair.” He pulled out a tee shirt and it said, "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"

Blair took it laughing and hugged Dan and they kissed too. Blair wondered when they had become kissing friends. He would have to ask Jim about that. 

When he got back he handed another shirt to Jim and said, “Cool huh?”

Jim kissed him hard and Blair knew he was tasting Dan. “Can you taste him?”

“Yes.”

“Does this bother you, babe?”

“No.”

Sam stood up and said, “I’m next. I saw this one and said the same as Dan. No, not I want to blow you, that it just said Blair.” Everyone burst out laughing, including Dan and she pulled out the shirt and held it up. It said, "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

Blair laughed all the way over to the table and hugged and kissed Sam. “Thanks everyone.”

Blair sat down by Jim again and Jim said, “Well I have a few for you.”

“Serious? You went tee shirt shopping?” Blair was bouncing. 

Jim held up the first one and it said, "You are depriving some village of an idiot." When the laughter died down, he sat it down on the table and reached in for the next one. It said, "Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done." Blair started to get up and Jim said, “Chief, I have two more. Let me finish and then you can come up.”

Blair loved that man so damn much. Jim looked like he was going to cry. He had gotten so emotional since the kids. Hell maybe it was just from hanging with him. 

Jim pulled the next shirt out and it said, "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead." 

“Wait a minute, that’s an insult to men.” Simon yelled. 

Jim looked over at Blair and he knew it was a good one. “But you see, I’m annoying, so I’m still alive.”

“Jim, I don’t take it that way.” Blair said.

“Well you can explain it to me later tonight.” Jim smiled at his love. 

He grabbed the next one and held it up. It said, "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after." Jim looked up at Blair and said, “I am living happily ever after. I love you so much.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the Pub. Blair held on to Jim and wouldn’t let go. He knew he would start crying if he wasn’t in Jim’s arms. 

“Chief, that last one, really isn’t a nice one. I mean, it’s saying, don’t bug me I’m living happily ever after. So it’s sarcastic and that’s fine, but I wanted a shirt that said happily ever after on it. Let’s get one made tomorrow. Okay?”

Jim began to kiss Blair and before long, Blair has his legs wrapped around Jim’s waist as they continued moving it along. 

“Gentlemen, you might want to stop the floor show.” Simon called out. 

Connor said, “They don’t have to. It’s Sandy’s birthday, Jim should be able to suck and fuck him no matter where he is.”

Jim pulled his lips away from Blair and said, “Connor, you are a naughty, naughty girl. I love that in a person.” 

“This is where we go home.” Simon grabbed Sully who was finding a seat for the floor show.

Blair pulled himself away from Jim and said goodbye to them. 

Then Blair looked at everyone and said, “I need to go home, or I’ll be forced to make Jim fuck me in front of our friends.”

“We’re not complaining.” Connor called out. 

Blair knew that Jim was right to that point where soon he wasn’t going to care where he was. And Blair didn’t want Jim embarrassed at work. 

“Jim, calm down babe. We’re going home and you’re going to make love to me in our own bed.”

“Thanks for everything.” Jim said blushing because he was also hard as a rock. Dan walked over to him and said, “We’re all hard, Jim. Don’t worry about it. Now go fuck him like mad.”

When they got home, that’s exactly what they did. Jim pounded into Blair’s ass twice in one hour and wanted to go for a third. His Chief, had to draw the line somewhere. So he pounded into Jim’s ass twice. Now this is the way to celebrate a birthday. 

Both men slipped on boxers when they were cleaned up, so that their daughter didn’t get any ideas from the morning boners. Both men were getting smarter. You had to stay one step ahead of those children. 

Jim watched Blair sleep and smiled. He hadn’t told him that tomorrow there was a surprise party for the kids. Jade, Drake, Lancy and Ellie were coming after work. It was going to be fun, also. Jim hoped that he had made this year one of the better years he had had. He deserved it like no other. 

Jim then snuggled into Blair’s space and Blair held him tight until they were both back to sleep. 

Life was good, at the Sandburg-Ellison home. Thank god. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 39

Thank you for reading and come again.


	40. The Past is Never Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blair has to leave and get his head together. He’s falling apart and needs to be whole for Jim and the kids. But does he want to? 
> 
> Warnings: m/m n/c rape implied.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 40  
The Past is Never Past  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 02/22/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

 

Story Notes: Very serious. 

 

Summary: Blair has to leave and get his head together. He’s falling apart and needs to be whole for Jim and the kids. But does he want to? 

Warnings: m/m n/c rape implied.   
======================================================

Sullivan’s Pub Part 40  
The Past is Never Past  
Patt

Jim looked at his naked lover and his mouth almost watered. There was nothing better than a horny naked Blair Sandburg. Jim had all of his senses tuned to his mate, as he walked towards the bed, dropping pieces of his clothing all the way. He climbed on the bed and slid between Blair’s legs and began licking and sucking the younger man’s cock. 

Jim reached around and got the lube and started getting Blair ready for the fucking of his life. When Jim was almost ready he pulled Blair legs up and over his shoulders while saying, “Get tough Sandburg.” Jim pushed in expecting wondrous loving, but instead was met with a blood curdling scream that almost left Jim deaf. He had all of his senses open to the very limit and hit the floor on his hands and knees, holding on to his ears. He didn’t even remember pulling out of Blair. 

// Oh god, Blair. Where is he? What’s wrong with him? // Jim heard the children crying loudly and got his boxers on and ran to their rooms. He picked Jade up and took her into Drake’s room. 

“Lay down here with Drakey and I’ll be back in a minute.” Jim tried to leave her there, but she wouldn’t let go. 

“Daddy, we’re scared.” Drake cried. 

“I am too. I need to check on Poppy.” Jim was still trying to get away from the children to see what was going on. 

“Did someone hurt Poppy?” Jade cried harder. 

“I don’t know Jade. I need to go and check him out.” Jim again tried to move, this time with both kids hanging on him. 

“I’ll be right back. I promise.” Jim could hear Blair dressing and then heard him walk out the front door. All three of them heard Blair’s vehicle start up and Jade and Drake both started crying. 

Jim went and locked the front door and joined his children in bed. They all slept in Drake’s room. Jim didn’t want to go into he and Blair’s room until he had to. 

“It’ll be all right kids. I love you.” Jim whispered. 

“We know you do, Daddy. But Poppy never came back did he?” Drake asked, sounding so grown up that it made Jim want to sob. 

“Not all the way. He’ll get better and he’ll come back then.” Jim hugged both of them and before long the little ones were asleep. 

Jim went over every action or word he said for the evening, in his mind and could come up with nothing. // Shit. You pushed him over the edge, at least figure out what it was. //

At Simon’s House:

Simon was sound asleep when Blair rang the doorbell. He got up grumpy as usual and looked to see who was there. All it took was one look at the sad man and Simon knew that Blair had finally lost it. 

Opening the door, he let the shaking man in. “Sandburg, how are you doing?” // Stupid, Simon. How do you think he’s doing? //

“Not to well Simon. I came to tell you I’m taking a medical leave. I’ll be gone about three to six months. I have some things to take care of.” Blair was talking in almost a whisper. 

“Come sit down and tell me what happened. Blair you have to talk to someone. Might as well be me.” Simon sat opposite him, seeing Blair needed his space. 

“Everything has been fine, sexually I mean. Then tonight, Jim was very aggressive, which is all right, I guess, but then he said, “Get tough Sandburg.” Blair started sobbing. 

Sully walked into the room and sat next to Blair and held him. “Is this something the rapist said to you, Blair?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sure that Jim would never say it again, Blair. Just tell him.” Simon suggested. 

“You don’t understand. I don’t even want to be with him anymore. I think I’m going to get help and then move to a different town.” Blair stood up to leave. 

“Well where are you going?” Sully asked almost in tears.

“Sully, I know that you’ll tell him. So I’m not telling anyone where I’m going. I’m sorry.” As Blair turned Simon said, “Wait.”

“Sully, I need to talk to Blair alone.” Simon explained. 

“Bye, Blair. Come back to us safe. I love you.” Sully hugged him and Blair hugged back and answered, “I love you too.” 

Once she was gone, Simon said, “All right, I won’t tell Jim anything. But I have to know how you are. I blame myself for all of this. I’d feel better if I could help. Call me on my cell phone every night, so I know you’re all right. Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you for your concern. I’ll call first thing tonight. Well after I buy a cell phone.”

“Blair, how are you set for money. Let me give you a check.” Simon wrote him out a check large enough to pay a few months rent. 

“I’ll pay you back, Simon. I promise.” Blair hugged him and said goodbye. 

Simon watched his officer drive off and had the feeling that it would be the last time he would see him. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next morning Jim got up and showered and got the kids ready to go. They all made their beds up together and ate breakfast together. Jim was trying to make their life as normal as possible. 

“I made a card for Poppy, Daddy.” Drake smiled when he showed him his card. “Could you send it to him?”

Art by Suse

Jim had to stay strong, so he kept the tears from filling his eyes. “I’ll send it today, Drake. It’s beautiful.”

“I made one too, Daddy. We got up early.” Jade held hers up for Jim to see. 

Art by Suse

“Jadey, yours is beautiful, too. You both did a great job.” Jim was so proud of them. 

“You need to make one now, Daddy.” Drake handed him the card, hand selected by the children. He did one up quickly and told them what it said. Drake laughed and said, “WE love you Daddy.”

Jim smiled and said, “I know. We love each other and that’s good, but we need to write to Poppy every day and let him know how much we miss him. Jim took his card and put it in the envelope with his children’s. 

 

Art by Suse

When Jim finally got to the station that morning, Simon called him into his office. 

“Sir?”

“Sit down Jim.” Simon began. 

“Blair came to see you?”

“Yes, and he’s not coming back, Jim. He’s going to call here in a few minutes to talk to you. And that will be the end of it. He said he can’t do it anymore.” Simon looked so tired and sad. 

“I understand sir.” Jim just sat there waiting. “I knew it was coming. He’d been too quiet lately. A quiet Sandburg, is a fucking scary Sandburg.”

“You’re so right.” Simon just stared out the window, waiting for the call. 

Finally the phone rang and he picked it up. “Here he is, Sandburg. Take care of yourself and remember our deal.” Simon handed the phone over to Jim, as he walked out of the room and Jim said, “Hi Chief.”

“Hey. I’m sorry Jim. I really am. But I realized I don’t love you anymore. So please don’t wait around for me. I’m not coming back. I want you to be happy and be with someone. Promise me that you’ll move on. Okay?” Blair was making little sobbing noises. 

“If you don’t love me, why are you crying, Chief?”

“We had children and they won’t understand that a man made me dislike you.” Blair was so quiet now. 

“I totally understand you getting better. But could the kids send some things? I promise I won’t come and try and bother you. I promise.”

“Do you have a pencil?” Blair asked. 

Jim got a pen and paper and quickly wrote down the information. He was living in Seattle. At least it wasn’t too far away from them. “Thank you, Chief. I’ll mail them today.”

“They made me cards up already?” Blair had that teary sound in his voice again. 

“Yeah, when I got up at 6:00, they were almost done with them. They’re so nice. You’ll love them.” Jim had a smile in his voice. 

“Jim, why are you being so calm about this?”

“Chief, I want you to love me forever. But you say you don’t. I’m not going to force you. I’m surely not going to make you do things that would make you cry or scream again. That broke me in two. I’d rather you left me forever than it be me that was hurting you.”

“Jim, I’m going to try. But this doctor said about six months to a year. I didn’t think that you’d want to wait that long.”

“I could wait ten years, Blair. I love you so much. But I want you to be able to love me back. If you can’t, then we move on from there.”

“I don’t, right now.”

“I know. What did I say that night?” Jim whispered.

“You were holding me roughly and shoving your cock in so hard, while you said, Sandburg, get tough. That’s what he said that night.”

“Jesus… I’m so sorry, Blair. You get better and I’ll talk to you some day.” Jim hung the phone up and walked out and Simon watched his man start to lose it way before he made it to the restroom. Joel grabbed him and held on to him so no one that didn’t belong could see. 

The next thing Jim knew he was in the break room and surrounded by all of their friends. 

“Jim, how is he doing?” Joel asked. 

“Not well, Joel. He’s not coming back, as of now.”

“Jimbo, you know he will. Did you two have a fight?” Connor asked. 

“No, I said something while we were making love and it was almost like that fucker Benson said. So he freaked out. Anyhow, he told me he wants me to date and move on. Like I possibly could.” Jim just stared at the floor. 

“Did he sound all right though. Like health wise?” Henry asked. 

“Yeah, he sounded good. Just sad.”

“Is he going to call often?” Simon asked hopefully. 

“No, this was it. But he gave me his address so I could mail some cards from the kids and me. He’s in Seattle.”

“So you could go and visit him.” Simon suggested. 

“No sir. I scared him. He was fucking scared to death. And not of a fucking rapist. Of me. I’m not going to force him into anything. It’s time I just raise the kids and hope he’ll come back someday.”

“You know what you need, Jimbo?” Connor asked. 

“Blair?” Jim answered sadly. 

“Yes, of course you need Sandy. But you need a night at Sullivan’s for just letting go with your friends.” Connor smiled over at him. 

“No thanks. I’ve got things to do. And I promised to help the kids make up more cards. I’m sorry.” Jim got up and walked out of the room to get to work. 

Simon stared at everyone and said, “Just give him some room for right now. He’s lost without Sandburg. This is going to be so hard on the four of them.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Jim was shocked at how quickly the days went by. The days, turned into weeks and the weeks into months. He never dated, nor did he want to. He missed Blair more every day. He sent cards off daily but never got anything back in response. 

“Daddy, here is my card for today.” Drake threw it at Jim and ran for the bathroom. Jim knew what he was going to do. Hell maybe that would help Jim out. Jim smiled for the first time in months. He looked down at Drake’s card and he smiled with such love for both of his men in his life. 

Art by Suse

Jade came running out of her bedroom and said, “I have mine done too. What do you think?”

Jim looked down at it and hugged his little girl. “It’s perfect, Jadey. He’ll love it.”

Art by Suse.

“Did you finish yours?” Jade asked her Daddy smiling. 

“Yeah, you want to read it, Jadey?” Jim pulled it out of his briefcase and handed it to her. 

Art by Suse

“You put in too many big words, Daddy.” Jade growled. 

“Sit here and I’ll read it to both of you.” Drake came out and sat on his Daddy’s lap and said, “I don’t think he’s coming back, Jadey.”

“Daddy, you told us he was coming back.” Jade started sobbing. 

“Kids, we have to let Poppy do the deciding. We’ll go from there. In fact, we’re not going to do the cards every day anymore. This will be the last one, unless he calls and asks us for them. I don’t want to push him away.” Jim was so sad, but knew he had to tell them the truth. 

They all tried to move on. It wasn’t easy, but they tried. 

Four months later Sully called Jim and said, “Jim, want to come to the survey tonight? We miss you. My brother’s in town so you won’t be alone.”

“Yes. I’ve been so lonely and realized there is no one to blame other than myself.” Jim found himself getting happy at the thought of being away from the kids for one night. 

“Want me to call Linda?” Sully asked. 

“No, I’ll call her. See you tonight.” Jim disconnected and then dialed Linda. Once he had the evening all set up, he looked up into a pair of gorgeous green eyes and beautiful blond hair. “Can I help you?”

“Well, my sister told me someone named Jim Ellison was taking me to lunch today. Do you know him?”

Jim held his name plate up and they both laughed. “Sully, I would take it, is your sister?”

“Yup and you’re taking me out to lunch. Oh, the name is Scott Sullivan. It used to be Sully, but Sully knocked me on my ass and took the name over.”

Jim burst out laughing. “Give me a second so I can tell Simon.”

Jim put his head in the door and said, “I’m going to lunch with Scott. See you in an hour.”

Simon stood up and waved at Scott and said to Jim, “However long you need Jim. Jesus you haven’t been out to lunch in a long time. Have fun.” Simon patted Jim on the back as he walked out the door. 

He took Scott to a nice restaurant, hoping this wasn’t a blind date, as he thought it was. 

They both ordered and talked. Come to find out, Scott was a really nice man. They had a lot in common and both loved power tools. Scott had the best sense of humor, so he kept Jim laughing all during their lunch. 

They were sitting there having their dessert and Scott took one of Jim’s hands in his. “Jim, I’d like to see you again.”

“Scott, did Sully tell you about me? I’m in love with someone that’s away right now. So I can’t get involved. It would be unfair to both of us. I thank you for the offer because to tell you the truth, I got hard just looking at you today.”

“Jim, that’s the best turndown I’ve ever had. Thank you. But I’m not going to be here long. It’s not a long time thing. I don’t want to come over and hang out with your kids and so on. I want to fuck you. If you want that, we can go now.”

“I’ll be right back.” Jim got up and rushed into the men’s room and found his cell in his pocket and called Connor. He filled her in and told her how scared he was. 

“Jim come back here. If he really wants you, he’ll wait.” Connor advised. 

“But what do you think about this?” Jim begged. 

“I think it sucks. I don’t want you with anyone else. But Sandy’s being a little slow and you can’t be expected to wait.” Connor sighed as she hung the phone up. 

He got back to the table and there was a note,   
Dear Jim, 

I know you’re having second thoughts. I’m sorry for making you so nervous. I’m staying at the Radison if you want to come spend the night. No questions asked. I’m hoping that you’ll think on it. We can come over after Sullivan’s Pub Survey. And by the way, I’ve been hard since I met you.

Hope to see you soon, Scott  
PS: I paid the bill. You owe me one. 

Jim went back to work and everyone watched him like a hawk. He knocked on Simon’s door and said, “Simon could I talk to you?”

“Sure. Come in and shut the door.”

Shutting the door, he stood until Simon told him to sit down. 

“What’s wrong, Jim?”

“Simon, he wanted to fuck me. Did you know that?”

“Well yeah. Sully has pictures of everyone and we told him what’s going on. He liked the way you looked. He said he wished he had a chance. He’s only going to be here for two weeks, Jim. It’s not like a life long commitment.” 

“I’d be cheating on Blair.”

“Jim, you’re not getting any sex and you don’t even have Blair to talk to. You have to have an outlet. Aren’t you horny?” Simon smiled at him. 

“As a matter of fact, if you wouldn’t mind, I could use a blow job right now. I’ve been hard as a rock since I came in.” Jim smiled at Simon. 

“And that wouldn’t bother you if I did it?” Simon asked seriously. 

“Yes, it would bother me. Sully would have a cow.” Jim whispered.

Simon picked up his phone and dialed Sully, holding the button down. “Hey babe. Jim is hard as a rock and need some relief. He doesn’t want me to do it and get you angry. So could you come down and either do it for me, or watch?”

Jim jumped up and rushed out of the room. // Everyone is friggin nuts. //

He walked to Joel’s office and both Connor and Joel were there having coffee. Jim knocked and walked in. “I need some help.”

“Meggie tells me that Sully and Simon are trying to set you up with someone. Is this true?” Joel looked almost angry. 

“Yeah, it’s true.”

“That pisses me off.” Connor yelled as she started for Simon’s office. 

“Jim, you can do whatever you want. But you told Blair you would wait for him.”

“Joel, I’m so lonely and horny. I need to get fucked or fuck someone. I need it.” Jim couldn’t look Joel in the eyes the whole time he was talking. 

“Then maybe it’s time to go and see Blair. It’s been five months now. He might know how he feels by now. Or you could tell him in a card that you have to talk to him about sleeping with someone. See if he calls.” Joel advised. 

“Will you and Megan tell everyone that one of the kids is sick tonight? I’m going home.” Jim walked out the door and down the stairs. 

Jim picked the kids up first and then they picked up pizza for dinner. He helped them both with their homework and then he played board games with them until he was about nuts. // Ellison, stop thinking about fucking Blair. //

He gave them their baths and got them in bed. The night was going so slowly, he sighed as he realized it was only 9:00 and he was still wide awake and bored and horny. 

There was a knock at the door and Jim opened it to Scott. “Hi.” Jim said as he opened it to allow Scott in. 

Scott walked in and smiled as he sat down to watch the movie with Jim. “Missed you at the Survey, thingy.”

“Sorry. I’m a chicken.” Jim smiled back. 

They watched the movie for awhile and Scott ran his hand across Jim’s jean covered cock. Jim jumped, but it was a good jump. He just kept rubbing him and Jim was getting close to coming in his pants. 

Scott reached down and unzipped Jim and brought his fine cock out and went down on Jim in seconds flat. Scott was pulling Jim’s Jeans and boxers down as he was sucking. Before long Jim was naked from the waist to the knees. 

Jim was pushing up into Scott’s mouth and moaning with need. He closed his eyes and all he could see was Blair’s sweaty curls around his face after he sucked Jim dry. Jim pushed Scott off of him and stood up. 

“Oh no you don’t. You’re a fucking prick tease. He shoved Jim down on the floor and the fight was on. Jim lost his hard on quickly because now he knew that this guy was going to fucking rape him if he didn’t think fast. 

Jim was throwing as many punches as Scott, but Scott was much stronger. But no way, was Jim Ellison going to go without a fight. 

Drake came walking out of the bedroom and said, “What are you doing to my Daddy?”

“Nothing, kid. Go back to bed.”

“Drake, call Uncle Bri.” Jim shouted as Scott smashed Jim’s face in again. 

“I’m going to fuck you if it’s the last thing I do.” He turned Jim over and shoved his legs apart and got ready to ram his cock in when he felt a gun on his temple. 

“Jim, you all right?” Rafe almost screamed because Jim was shaking like crazy. 

“I’m okay. He would have raped me if you didn’t live so close.” Jim wiped sweat and tears off of his face. 

Drake came around the corner and said, “Come on Daddy, let’s get your clothes on.”

“Thank you, Drakey.” Jim carried his things into the bathroom and Rafe could hear Jim crying. Once Jim was dressed he came out to give his side of it, to Rafe. He knew Rafe had called Simon. Simon was going to be so pissed off. // He’ll hate me. //

Drake ran up to Scott and punched him in the balls. Scott reared back and kicked Drake clear across the room. Jim didn’t have to worry about taking care of it, Rafe kicked Scott so hard in the balls, that he’d be lucky to get it up for a week. 

“Drake are you all right?” Jim checked him out while asking. 

“I’m fine. He’s a baby kicker.” Jim had to turn his head to keep from smiling at that. 

Jade stormed up finally and said, “I know someone that can take your penis off. You better be nice.”

Rafe and Jim both laughed at the look of horror that came over Scott’s face. 

Simon walked in without even knocking and knocked Scott on his ass. “What the fuck did you think you were doing? He’s my best friend.”

“He’s a cock tease, Simon. He shouldn’t tease if he doesn’t want it.” Scott yelled back. 

“Jim, I’m so sorry. I wanted you to be happy. But this is all my fault. Come here.” Simon pulled him into his arms and just held him. Finally Jim’s arms went around Simon and they just stood there. 

“Just let him go, Simon. Okay?” Jim pleaded. 

“Okay, that will work, but he’s not to come near you again. Got that, asshole?”

“Thanks Jim. Want to have dinner tomorrow night?” Scott said smiling as he walked past Jim. 

“No thanks. Not in this life.” Jim walked away from him and sat at the table. 

Rafe walked over and said, “I think you should have one of us in the house until he leaves town. Jim, he wants you big time. He’s going to fuck you.” 

Simon said, “No, he won’t after I get done yelling at him.”

“Sir, I’ve seen many eyes of rapists and he’s got those eyes. So, if you don’t mind, Henry and I will take turns staying here until he leaves town.” Rafe was so pissed. 

“You can stay wherever you want, but Scott’s just hard up, like Jim is. It’s been a while for him too.” Simon glared at Rafe. 

“Tell me he wasn’t in jail.” Rafe asked hoping for a negative reply. 

“It was for something with tax evasion.” Simon shouted. 

“Check it out, Simon. Betcha it was sexual misconduct or just out and out rape.” Rafe yelled. 

“All right both of you calm down. I’m sorry this all happened. Brian, could you stay with me tonight?” Jim asked. 

“Sure. Let me call Henry and tell him.”

“Jim, you scared?” Simon asked in a whisper. 

“Yeah, Simon I am. He’s fucking strong. He almost had me. And he was going to fuck me in front of my kids.” Jim walked into his bedroom with his kids. 

Rafe locked up the door after Simon left. He slept in the bed with Jim and the kids. Jim had the first good nights sleep he’d had in months. 

The next day Simon called Rafe and Jim into his office.

They walked in and sat down. “Gentlemen, I owe both of you huge apologies. He was serving time for Rape. He broke his probation by being here alone. Sully didn’t know. Her parents always said it was tax evasion. Anyhow, I brought up charges on him, and all you have to do is sign. This is his third time, so he won’t get out easily like he did the last two. I’m so sorry, Jim. And I’m sorry to you, Rafe for not trusting your judgment.”

Both men stood up and Rafe said, “Thank you sir. That means a lot to me.”

“Where do I sign?” Jim picked the pen up and Simon showed Jim. And then he showed Rafe where to sign as the witness.

Sully called Jim three times that day crying. Jim kept telling her it was all right, but Sully felt like shit. It had been her idea to have them date. 

Connor knocked on Simon’s door and said, “Sir, do you have a phone number for Sandy?”

“We don’t want to tell him about this. He needs to get better himself.” Simon knew she meant well, but they had to leave Blair alone. 

“I miss him so much. I just wanted to talk to him.” Connor said sadly. 

“Here is his number, but no mention to him of this business.” Simon handed the number over and she took off for Joel’s office. 

She dialed and listened to it ring.

“Sandburg.”

“Sandy, it’s Megan. I just wanted to call you and say hi.”

“Hi. It’s nice to hear that lovely accent of yours.”

“What accent?” Connor and Sandburg both laughed. 

“Is everything going well?” Blair knew that something was wrong. 

“Everything is fine, Sandy. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing pretty well. I have a great doctor here and I work nights, so have lots of time for therapy. I miss you too Megan.”

“Joel told me to tell you hello also. You won’t believe how big Ellie has gotten.”

“How are Drake and Jade? Are they okay?”

“They’re fine Sandy. Jim’s doing a fine job. They’re home with a sitter today, because they had a cold or something.”

Blair knew she was lying and intended on calling the kids to see how they were. “Megan, I have to go. Kiss Joel for me and Miss Ellie.”

“Sandy, are you ever coming home?” Blair could hear her trying not to cry. 

“Megan, I don’t want to come home. I’m happy hear. Goodbye for now.” Blair hung up the phone and sobbed. If he hated Jim, why did he cry so much about him? Blair began to question the therapist’s ideas. Maybe he should seek out someone new and get a second opinion. He called for an appointment and got one right away. 

Blair dialed their number and was shaking. Linda answered, “Ellison Residence.”

“Linda, this is Blair. Could I talk to Drake please?”

“I don’t think it would be a good idea today. He’s upset.”

“Why is he upset?” Blair was getting scared now. 

“It’s not my business, but why do you care? This is the first time you’ve called him that I know of. Just give him a week or so to get over this and he’ll be right as rain.”

“Linda, why are you so angry with me?”

“Because Jim is hurting too. But all he thinks about is what’s best for you.”

“He’s a good man, Linda.”

“I know that, but I didn’t know that you knew that.”

“Could you tell me what’s wrong?” Blair pleaded. 

“No, call Jim at work and he can talk to you. I’m sorry, Blair. I hope you find yourself.” Linda hung the phone up. 

He called the bullpen and asked for Simon. “Banks.”

“Simon, this is Sandburg. I need to talk to Jim, can he talk in your office?”

“Sure, I’ll call him in.” Simon walked to the door and said, “Ellison, phone call in my office.”

Jim gave him an odd look and then went flying in there. “Chief?”

“Hi Jim. I called the house to speak with the kids and Linda wouldn’t let me talk to them.”

“Oh, they have the flu and you know how whiny they get when they don’t feel good. I’ve told her I don’t want you upset for anything.” Jim tried to lie well. 

“Jim, something is wrong, what is it? I heard it was a cold or something.” 

“Nothing, Chief. I’m fine. The kids are fine, other than a little cold. Don’t worry. Take care of yourself.”

“You dating?” Blair asked out of the blue. 

“No. I have my little bulldogs that would never allow it anyhow.” Jim laughed, hoping that would calm Blair down. 

“I’m starting a new therapist today and I hope he helps more than the other one.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.” Jim tried to keep his voice from shaking. 

“Well I better go. Time for my appointment. Can I call you at home this week?” Blair asked timidly. 

“Yeah, that would work.”

“Okay, tell the kids I said hello. I’ll talk to you at home then.” Blair hung up the phone and felt odd. Why did he miss Jim so fucking much? He should be over him by now, right? 

Jim waited for that phone call for two weeks, but it never came. He became sadder and sadder. Drake crawled into bed with him one night and asked, “Can I snuggle with you Daddy?”

“Sure you can, Drakey.” Jim held him so tight and realized that he was making the kids sad. He had to stop this shit. He had to start to live again. 

The next morning, while he was in the shower, he heard the front door open. Jim grabbed a towel and flung open his bedroom door to find Blair standing there hugging the kids. 

“We missed you so much Poppy.” Jade was crying. 

“Can you stay with us, Poppy?” Drake asked. 

“It’s up to Daddy.” Blair looked up at Jim and saw the big man turn around and walk into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

Blair was shaking and Jade said, “Daddy’s sad since that man hurt him.”

“Who hurt Daddy?” Blair asked her. 

“A big man, he was trying to do things to Daddy that Daddy didn’t want. He was Auntie Sully’s brother.” Drake said. 

“Uncle Brian stayed here for a couple of weeks and held Daddy when he cried.” Jade said sadly.

“Why was Daddy crying?” Blair knew that something was wrong now.

Drake went to open his mouth and Jim came walking out dressed.

“Because I was being selfish as usual and was missing you. I didn’t see how badly it was affecting the kids. I’m sorry to all of you.” Jim started to make breakfast while Blair just stared at this man in front of him. This wasn’t the Jim Ellison that he left. // Oh god, what have I done? //

“Who wants eggs for breakfast?” Jim called out. 

“Poppy will you eat breafast with us?” Jade begged. 

“If it’s all right with Daddy.”

“It’s fine. Sit.” Jim started cooking and never once looked at Blair. 

He filled their plates with eggs and toast and poured orange Juice an they all sat down eating. Jim was clearly uncomfortable. 

“You shoulda seen the big guy that beat daddy up.” Jade said out of the blue. 

“He took his clothes off too.” Drake added.

Blair looked at the bruises still noticeable on his face and asked, “Someone attacked you?” 

“It’s no biggy, Blair. Don’t worry about it.” Jim started to eat and suddenly he made a dash for the bathroom and threw up. 

“Daddy throws up a lot.” Jade shook her head sadly. 

Trying to take the focus off of Jim, Blair said, “I loved all of the cards. I saved every one of them.”

“Even the ones from Daddy?” Drake asked. 

“Of course the ones from Daddy. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Cuz he thinks you don’t love him no more.” Jade started to cry. 

Jim walked out of the bathroom and said, “Hey, no crying. We’ll be fine. If Poppy wants to move back, he can have the spare room until he’s more comfortable. Would that work, Chief?”

Blair got up and went into Jim’s arms and just held on to him. “Jim, I want to move back in your room.”

Jim held on just as tight and said, “Now?”

“Now would be fine. My stuff is in my Santa Fe.” Blair stepped back and saw the first smile on Jim’s face since he had gotten there. 

“Come on kids, the bus will be here in a minute.” Jim got them all ready and got them on the bus after they kissed Poppy 20 times of course. 

Jim was getting ready for work and Blair said, “Could I talk you out of work?”

“Yeah, you could talk me out of most anything, chief.” 

“I’ll call Simon and tell him I’m back and you need to take a day or two.” Blair reached for the phone as Jim grabbed his hand. “Chief, you’ll be staying, right?”

Blair could see the fear and loneliness in Jim’s eyes and was even more sorry. “Yeah, I’ll be staying, baby.”

Blair called Simon and asked for two days, and Simon gladly gave it to him. When he walked in the room he expected a naked Jim on the bed, but he was dressed looking very nervous.

“Jim, are you nervous?”

“Sort of. It’s been a long while since we’ve done this. Hell I haven’t even jacked off since you’ve been gone.” 

Blair started to undress Jim as he kissed him. Before long both men were naked and hard as rocks. As Blair got more into the kissing he felt Jim shaking and new that Jim was upset. 

“Jim, could you just hold me?” Blair asked sweetly. 

“Yeah, I could do that. God, I missed you.”

They cuddled in bed until it was time to go and pick up the kids. Blair got out of the SUV and Jade said, “Poppyyyyyyyyy.” Jim turned to Blair and said, “See how much attention I get.”

At Drakes school it was the same thing. “Poppy, Poppy, you’re here.”

Once they were buckled in Jim asked, “Did anyone notice that I was here today?”

“Course we did silly. You’re driving.” Jade said laughing in the back seat. 

Jim smiled into the rear view mirror. 

“I noticed you were here Daddy, but I wanted to be sure that Poppy knows we want him to stay.” Drake said seriously. 

“I’m staying, Drake. You’re stuck with me.”

Both kids yelled, “Yay!” and broke Jim’s eardrums, momentarily. 

That night while they were lying in bed Blair decided he would tell Jim about some of his therapy. He found out the first therapist was into the leave the lover behind and move on. Where the second one believed in finding the problem, fixing it and going back to the lover. Jim was so fucking glad there had been a second therapist.

Jim decided to tell Blair all about Scott Sullivan and what had happened. He didn’t hold anything back and waited for Blair to slug him or something. Instead, Blair said, “Jim, I’m not going to leave you again. And I know how hard you tried to be brave. But from now on, you can be weak with me if you want. I love you both ways. I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m glad that Brian was close-by to stop it. I love you so much.” Blair held on for dear life. 

Then Jim switched the talk back to more about Blair’s therapy and Blair told him everything. Jim realized that the second guy had been very fucking good. This was his old Blair. Now if he could just give Blair his old Jim, that would be perfect. They talked and talked and before long Jim made the first move. He kissed Blair and began to move his lips down Blair’s body. He slid Blair’s boxers off and gave him a wonderful blow job. When Blair came, he held a pillow over his face to muffle his screams. Jim licked him off and moved the pillow and kissed him. 

“I love you so much, Blair. You’ll never know how much I missed you.”

Blair pushed him onto his back and began to do the same things and soon it was Jim holding the pillow over his face to muffle his screams.

“Jesus, you’re good at that.” Jim whispered. 

“Babe, I’ve asked you not to call me Jesus. It’s just too much pressure.” 

When Jim woke up, it was to Jade staring at his penis as usual. But usually Jim wore boxers now. They got lazy last night and never put them back on. 

“Jadey, what ya doing?”

“I love that penis, Daddy.” She smiled up at him. 

“I know you do, but it’s not for you, is it?”

“Darn it. I wish I had one.” Jade said sadly. 

“Someday you’ll be glad you don’t have one.”

“Do you wish you didn’t have one?” Jade inquired. 

“No, I love mine.” Jim smiled at her. 

“I do too.” She was still just staring at his penis and it was beginning to bother him a bit. 

“Why don’t you go and see if Poppy still has his.” Jim whispered to Jade. 

She tiptoed around the bed and raised the sheet and stared at Blair’s penis. “Yup, he’s still got one. It’s a nice one too.” Jade sighed as she just stared at Blair’s boner. 

Jim was so glad to have the focus off of his, it was funny now. 

Blair opened up his eyes and saw what she was looking at. “Jade, you don’t stare at me and Daddy’s penis.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, let me put it differently. You’re not supposed to stare at our penis’s. If you keep doing it, they might fall off.” Blair said keeping a straight face. 

“Okay, I won’t look no more. Now both of you go in and go potty.” Jade walked out of the room and Jim just cracked up. 

“Jim, I missed this stuff so much.”

“Well good, cuz she does this stuff a lot. Now do you want some of my stuff?”

“Let me get the door.” Blair raced to lock the door and threw himself back on the bed. Jim laughed as he pulled his love into his arms. It had to be fast this morning, because they had the kids to get ready. But fast would work for Jim.

Out in the kitchen Jade said, “What do you think they’re doing?”

“I don’t know.” Drake replied. 

“They keep laughing and making funny noises. You think they’re all right?” Jade asked again. 

“Maybe their penises are falling off.” Drake offered. 

“Oh my gooness. I hope not. They like them. So do I.” Jade looked sad. 

“Well what else would make them make that much noise. That fairy is in there taking them off now.” Drake smiled as he teased his sister. 

They both heard nothing but quiet and Jade said, “I don’t hear Daddy and Poppy crying. Maybe the fairy was nice.”

“Maybe.” Drake just sat at the table waiting for the fireworks. 

Jim and Blair came walking out and Jim saw the look on Drake’s face. “Drake, are you teasing your sister?”

“No, he wasn’t Daddy. I was just worried.” Jade hugged Jim and felt him up. 

“Jade how many times have I told you not to do that?” Jim was angry now. 

“It’s okay, Drake. It’s still there.”

Jim looked at Drake and he said, “We thought we heard the fairy in your room.”

“Well, he was kind of.” Blair said laughing. Jade hugged him next and felt him up. “Whoa. Jade, you don’t do that to me. I’m your Poppy.”

“Don’t worry, Drake, he’s still got his too.” Jade looked very relieved. 

“Chief, you get them dressed and I’ll get their breakfast. No more talk of fairy’s.” Jim ordered. “At least that kind of fairy.” 

In the bedroom Drake said, “The fairy was there? Is she nice?”

“Yes, she’s very nice.” Blair answered smiling. 

“If she comes by tomorrow, would you tell her thank you for coming to me too?”

“Sure, I can do that. Now let’s get dressed.” Blair got them both ready, teeth brushed and hair done and sitting at the table by the time Jim was done making breakfast. 

And thus begun the long journey of finding oneself, finding each other and finding true love all over again. Life would begin to return to normal, but it would take time. 

And always remember that the second therapist is probably better. Listen to your heart. 

I promise happy ones for a while. Thanks for reading. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 40


	41. Back to Good!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair are getting back to normal. Are they doing all right? You have to read. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m Silliness Abounds

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 41  
Back To Good!  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 03/01/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: As the title says, it’s back to good. The boys are happy and loving and fun. 

Story Notes: I thought you might enjoy having a fun one in between the serious ones. 

 

Summary: Jim and Blair are getting back to normal. Are they doing all right? You have to read. 

Warnings: m/m Silliness Abounds  
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 41  
Back To Good!  
Patt

Sully, Connor and Sam decided it was high time for a Survey. And they were going to have to make it first-rate. Everyone needed cheering up, not just Jim and Blair. The girls accepted the mission and were going to succeed.

Everyone walked in that night and waited for Jim and Blair. 

Simon: You think they’ll be here?

Sam: They said they were coming. 

Dan: I would come if I were them. They need some laughter and friendship in their life right now. 

Sully: Here, here.

Joel: I see them driving up right now. They’re holding hands in the parking lot. Can’t ask for more than that. (Joel beamed with happiness and satisfaction)

Jim walked up to Sully and knelt down and kissed her bulging belly and listened to the heartbeat. Then he went over to Sam and did the same thing. God, he loved listening to these new babies and feeling the movement. 

Dan turned to Simon and said, “He’s the sweetest man I know.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” Simon answered. 

Jim: So we going to have a survey or what?

Blair: Hi everyone.

Everyone moved into a group hug and just hung on for a while. When they sat down, Jim leaned into Blair and kissed him. Then Blair leaned back and kissed Jim’s neck. 

Simon: You seem to be doing pretty well.

Joel: Thanks. 

Simon: Very funny Joel, I was talking about Jim and Blair.

Blair: Yeah, we’re doing really excellent. 

Sully: I’m so glad, Blair. I’m so sorry. 

Blair: Sully, I told you to stop saying that. 

Sam: Well I’m not sorry, but I just want to say I missed you like mad. I love you. 

Blair got up and hugged her and kissed her cheek. 

Dan: I don’t rate a hug?

Blair: You didn’t say you missed me and loved me. (teasing)

Dan: Blair, I did miss you. I missed you and Jim together too. I love both of you. 

Both Jim and Blair got up and hugged Dan and kissed him. 

Connor: I missed you both too and you know I adore each of you.

Jim and Blair made the trip around the table and hugged and kissed her. While there Joel went into the hug and whispered, “I love both of you like you were my own family. In fact you are our family. Stay safe for all of us.”

Jim: Before we sit down, is anyone else in need of a hug?

Simon stood up and said, “I missed Sandburg something fierce, but I really missed Jim too. I love you both.”

Sully stood up and said, “I’m next.”

They turned around and Rafe was standing there. “I missed you both. I’m so glad you’re together again.” Jim hugged him very hard and it looked like Rafe was trying not to cry. 

Jim said, “I love you too, Brian. Thank you for saving my life.”

“You’re welcome.” Rafe leaned in and kissed Jim’s lips softly. 

Brown was next and he started to cry. “Henry, why are you crying?” Jim asked. 

“We could have lost you both and I love you too much to let go of either of you.” Jim pulled him in for a good hug and then Blair took a turn. 

“Okay, we’re done. Back to business. What’s up for tonight, Connor?” Jim said laughing. 

Connor: First up is tee shirt sayings. What I want you to do, is tell me if they remind you of anyone here and why. I’m keeping notes and will have the shirts made for next week. 

Joel: Sugar that is a wonderful idea. 

Sully: God, you’re good at this, Meg. 

Sam: That’s why she’s the boss. 

Simon: Excuse me?

Sam: Of the survey’s, Simon. 

Simon: Oh, all right then. Get this thing started. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Think Big"

Jim: Whoa, I love this one. I’m not saying a word Chief.

Connor: So you would think big if you think of Sandy?

Jim: Oh yeah.

Blair: He’s exaggerating. 

Simon: I saw it that night in the restroom and he’s not. 

Blair: God, I’m never going to live that night down. 

Sam: I think this fits Dan. 

Joel: I think it does too. 

Sam: How do you know?

Joel: From that same night.

Sully: Well everyone knows that Simon needs this shirt. 

Simon: You’re a goddess. 

Sully: Were you afraid I wasn’t going to say anything?

Simon: Yeah. 

Sully: Never fear honey, you need this shirt. 

Connor: I think it could mean a number of things. Now if we’re going this way, I need one for Joel. Joel, show them what you’re packing. 

Simon: Connor, don’t tell him to pull it out here.

Joel: Does anyone want to see it?

Jim: I do. 

Blair: I do. 

Rafe: I do. 

Brown: I do. 

Simon: Just show them and put it away.

Connor unzipped him and pulled it out and they all realized that he was easily the biggest man there. Connor tucked him in, zipped him up and sat back down. 

Blair: Well, I didn’t get a chance to say anything about Jim. He’s got a really, really nice one.

Connor: It doesn’t say nice, it says big. 

Blair: Are you saying his isn’t big?

Connor: How would I know.

Blair: Stand up, baby.

Jim stood up and let Blair take his cock out. The whole time Blair was rubbing Jim’s belly. “Now isn’t that a nice big cock?”

Sully: Yes. Very nice. Very big. (Licking her lips)

Sam: Very nice indeed. 

Blair: But big?

Sam: Oh yeah. 

Brown: Well Brian has a fantastic cock and it’s big too. Do I have to show you?

Jim: I think so. 

Henry kissed Rafe while he unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. Henry said, “So?”

Jim: Very nice and very big. 

Blair: What he said. 

Simon: Very big. 

Sully: Gorgeous cock, Brian. I loved seeing it. Nice and big too. 

Then Rafe pulled Henry’s out and they all oohh’d and aah’d and said he was huge too. The funny part was, is that most of the guys were just respectable sizes. Not huge. Not large. Just normal. Jim found it very fascinating that they all thought each other’s looked nice, large and pretty. Well Jim had to admit to himself that Joel’s was huge, Blair’s was nice sized, Simon’s was pretty big, but the others were more his size. But no one cared. He loved this group. 

Simon: Are we going to ever move on?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Spoiled Rotten" 

Simon: This screams Connor. 

Connor: What?

Simon: Joel spoils you rotten. 

Connor: He does not.

Simon: Connor, I don’t have to explain it, I’m just answering them. 

Connor: Fine. Next?

Jim: I think it sounds like Blair. 

Blair: Me too. Jim spoils me rotten also. 

Jim: It also reminds me of Sully and Sam. 

Dan and Simon: So true. 

Rafe: I spoil Henry. 

Brown: He does. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "I'm Mama's Dog"

Joel: Is this me and you, Meggie?

Connor: It could be taken like that. You’re my dog. 

Simon: I’m Sully’s dog. 

Sully: And a great dog you are. 

Dan: I’m Sam’s dog. 

Sam: Can we play later?

Simon: We better move on before the boys get jealous of us. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "I'm Daddy's Dog"

Jim: I’m Blair’s dog. 

Blair: And I’m Jim’s dog. 

Rafe: I’m Henry’s dog. 

Brown: This talk is making me dog horny. Bri is without a doubt, my dog.

Simon: Can we move on?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Wonder Dog"

Blair: This is Jim. 

Jim: Why?

Blair: You want me to tell them here?

Jim: I just want to know why I’m a wonder.

Simon: Jim’s the only person alive that would bitch about this tee shirt. 

Jim: I just don’t think I’m that good.

Dan: Whoa. You don’t think you’re good in bed, Jim?

Jim: Not really.

Blair: I’m going to kick your ass when we get home. You fuck me better than anyone ever could. 

Jim leaned in and kissed him for a long while. “I love you, Chief.”

Sam: I think this shirt needs to be Dan’s.

Dan: Really?

Sam: Oh yeah. (Leaning in for a kiss, leaving a smiling Dan sitting there.)

Sully: It would be Simon’s too.

Simon: Thank you, baby. 

Connor: Well this shirt was designed after I told them about Joel. 

Joel: (Laughing) You are too much. I’m glad you’re my too much. 

Brown: I want this shirt. Bri, buy it for me, k?

Rafe: Okay. (Giggling)

Simon: Moving right along!!!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Angel Dog"

Jim: This is Blair. 

Connor: This is Joel. 

Simon: I think I agree with you two on them. 

Rafe: This is my Henry to a tee. (Laughing)

Sam: This is my Daniel. 

Sully: Well I was going to say it was you, Simon, but you’re a devil in disguise. So it wouldn’t have fit. (Leaned in for a kiss with Simon)

Simon: Moving on uuuuuuupppp, to the east side… 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Born To Be Wild"

Blair: Oh god, I want this one for Jim, Megan. Okay?

Connor: I was thinking this one was him also. Along with Simon. 

Rafe: Joel, Brown, Dan and Blair do you see how we got excluded?

Blair: You have to admit, that’s Jim and Simon. 

Sully: I agree. 

Sam: Me too. 

Dan: Me three. 

Brown: Me four. 

Simon: Oh Jesus stop it before it gets out of control. Move it or lose it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Dog from Hell"

Simon: Well we all know that this one belongs to only one person here. (Sandburg looked around like who?) And that would be Detective Sandburg. 

Blair: Me?

Jim: I agree. He’s a tough guy and he can get a confession out of anyone. I’ve heard cops say, he’s like this cop from hell. 

Blair: Me?

Rafe: I’ve heard those stories too. I don’t have the heart to tell them that he’s a pussy cat. Besides he has no pussy. Does he Ellison?

Jim: Hell no, or he would go. Hell no, or he would go. (chanting wildly by everyone at the table.)

Brown: I agree, I think he’s like one of those little dogs that grab hold of your ankle and won’t let go.

Simon: I think so too. 

Blair: Me?

Sully: I think you’re a dog, but I don’t know about the rest. 

Blair: Me?

Sam: Well if you’re a dog from hell, I want to go there too. 

Dan: We don’t have to like die Sam. We can just act wild like our bad boy Blair.

Blair: Me?

Simon: Move, shove it, stuff it do whatever but get off this one.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: "Numero Uno"

Jim: I think we all need this one. 

Everyone: Here, here. 

Simon: We get to move it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN 

This is a list of how to talk about Men and be Politically Correct and would you put these on mouse pads. 

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

Jim: (falls out of his chair.) I love this one.

Joel: Well sure, you haven’t got a beer gut. I take offense to this, honey bear. 

Connor: Honey, you don’t have a beer gut. Read what I wrote. (smiling)

Jim: Hey Joel, I have one from time to time. You’ll notice I have to work out more some months. 

Rafe: Well would you put this on your mouse pad? I don’t think so. 

Blair: I would. It’s fun. 

Sully: I like it too. 

Sam: I think it’s funny also. 

Dan: Well let’s get one then. And then I can start working out with Jim and Rafe. 

Brown: Shit, does this mean I need to?

Simon: Get a mouse pad. Sure if you need one. 

Everyone laughs hard. 

Brown: Do I need to work out, Bri?

Rafe: Wouldn’t hurt, H. 

Brown: You don’t like the way I am now?

Rafe: All right, we’re not even going there. I love your body. I love your cock. So let’s stop now. 

Simon: I might get one of those mouse pads if Rafe would tell me he loved my body now. 

Rafe: Excuse me sir, but fuck you. 

Again, laughter broke out and everyone was so happy to hear the sound again. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Conner: He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

Blair: Okay, Jim, this is our new mouse pad. This is sooooo you. 

Jim: I agree, babe. 

Simon: Well I know this is me. I only talk if Sully makes me. 

Sully: This is true. Not that I mind, because he licks and sucks so much better than talking. 

Simon: For gods sake, I was hoping for one night without you talking about us in bed. 

Sully: Sweetie, I was talking about on the sofa last night while you were watching the news. 

Simon: I give up.

Sam: Dan is a great talker. A lot like Blair. 

Simon: Dan?

Sam: Yes. 

Dan: I talk at home. When it’s just she and I. 

Sam: Are you just shy at work?

Dan: No, I don’t like them. 

Simon: Oh fuck you. 

Blair: Yeah, fuck you. 

Brown: Wow, Simon said the first fuck you. 

Rafe: Got to be a record. 

Joel: I talk all the time, I think Meggie wants to shut me up sometimes. 

Connor: Never honey bear. 

Connor: I see the next one coming. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

Jim: Well is it just me, or is this one mean?

Simon: Actually I think we should hand this stickers out to the bad guys. 

Connor: What a wonderful idea, Simon. 

Joel: I don’t think that would go over well with their lawyers. 

Rafe: Tough Toodles. 

Brown: Tough Toodles?

Rafe: Shut up. 

Brown: Okay, Bri needs this mouse pad. 

Sully: I think it’s mean too, Jim. 

Sam: So do I. 

Dan: I could hand it out downstairs daily and get some of my laughs over with. 

Sam: Oh god, couldn’t you see a family member coming in to claim the body and there is that sticker on their body? (rolls on the floor laughing)

Jim: Sam, don’t give him any ideas. 

Joel: I would never give one of them out. 

Connor: Honey bear, that’s cuz you’re afraid of getting in trouble. Where the rest of us, live for it.

Joel: So I’m boring?

Connor: Not at all.

Joel: You’re saying I don’t live on the edge of my seat. 

Connor: I think it’s safe to say you don’t. 

Simon: I see us moving. Do you see us moving. Hands up for moving. (Everyone’s hands went up.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

Rafe: Oh this is Joel, Jim and Simon. Get those made up first thing. (Laughing)

Brown: I agree. 

Joel: But this didn’t say I was a boring cradle robber, so it doesn’t really fit me.

Connor: Honey bear, you know I don’t think you’re old. So stop it right now. And we’ll discuss some of the other things later on. 

Brown: Oh get over it, Joel.

Simon: I’m not that much older than Sully. 

Sully: Whatever you say honey. 

Simon: You think I’m old? You think I’m boring?

Sully: OH calm down. Would I marry a boring man? Would I have a child with an old man? I think not. 

Simon: Told ya. (Simon sticks his tongue out at Brown and Rafe.)

Jim: Well I am 9 years older than Blair. No hiding that fact. But hopefully I’m not boring. 

Blair: Where in the hell did the boring part come in? This ones about being old. And you’re not old, believe me.

Dan: Well I’m quite a bit older than Sam. Hopefully she doesn’t mind. 

Sam: I mind so much as I cry out in ecstasy every single night. It’s tough duty being married to you, big shot. 

Sully: Big shot? Where did that come from? 

Dan: Not even. 

Sam: I swear to god, he shoots more come than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. 

Jim: Good name then. (sniggering)

Dan: (blushing) Jim, you’re right, nothing is sacred here. 

Simon: Did you all just see the cow? It said, Mooooooooooove it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

Jim: Oh god, I want this one made up for Blair. 

Blair: Hey, you wouldn’t ask for directions. 

Jim: Tough Toodles. 

Blair: You, aren’t playing with Rafe anymore. 

Simon: This could be Sully. 

Sully: Honey, it is Sully. I get lost coming to work and it’s my own business. 

Sam: I never get lost. 

Dan: But honey, it’s because I draw a map for you every day. 

Sam: Oh shut up. 

Joel: I never get lost. 

Connor: I wish I could say that. 

Rafe: I only get lost when I with Sandburg. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Brown: I only get lost when I’m with Sandburg too. 

Blair: Fuck you also. 

Jim: I only get lost when I’m with Sandburg.

Blair: Oh you are so going to get fucked. 

Jim: Hot damn. 

Rafe: So like who fucks me?

Brown: I do, pretty boy. 

Simon: Okay, I see this going downhill, so let’s move it uphill.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

Blair: (Jumping up and down and yelling) Perfect, put my order in now. 

Jim: For who?

Everyone bursts out laughing, including Jim. 

Blair: I love every hair on his head. And I count them nightly so I can have going away parties for when one is missing. 

Joel: Oh god, Blair, you are too funny. 

Connor: Joel is right. 

Jim: What about me? Does no one feel my pain?

Blair: As long as they aren’t pulling those last hairs out, no one’s going to be feeling your pain. 

Jim: Fuck you, Chief. 

Blair: Later. 

Brown: Well I don’t have hair, so this isn’t that fun to me. 

Jim: Well you have hair, you choose to shave it, right?

Brown: No. I was born with a disease that leaves a person bald. 

Jim: Oh shit, I’m sorry Henry. 

Brown: (Laughing) You are so fucking easy, Ellison. 

Rafe: Well I don’t have to worry about my hair. 

Simon: You will some day, pretty boy. 

Rafe: What do you mean? 

Simon: We all change as we get older. You’ll lose your hair as time goes on. 

Rafe laid his head on the table and moaned. “Do you suppose he really thought his hair would be this way forever?” Simon asked. 

“I told him it would. Thanks for blowing it.” Henry patted his back and so did Simon. Rafe popped his head up and burst out laughing. God, you’re almost as easy as Ellison. 

Jim and Simon: Fuck you Rafe. 

Dan: I’ve not lost much hair, I wonder when mine will start?

Sam: I’ve heard that Native American’s keep their hair forever. 

Dan: Goody. 

Simon: Time to move on?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL

Jim: Oh man, this is so Blair. 

Blair: It is. I’m the worst drunk in the world. 

Joel: This is Meggie too, but she can fuck like you wouldn’t believe when she’s drunk. 

Simon: I could have went all night without hearing that.

Connor: I’m only good when I’m drunk?

Joel: Oh no. You’re just better when you’re drunk. 

Sam: Okay, this is me. 

Dan: Well used to be. She’s not drinking these days. 

Sully: Same here. Man, being pregnant is boring. 

Simon: I can’t wait till that baby comes. I want to fuck you so bad. (Lays his head on the table when he realizes what he just said.)

Blair: How much longer for both of you.

Dan: We’ve got about 8 weeks. 

Simon: We’ve got about 10 weeks. 

Jim: Simon and Sully you might want to check that. She seemed like she was busy making her way down. She might be early.

Simon: Something to worry about, Jim?

Jim: Like I know. She sounded fine, just in a hurry. Kind of like her Daddy. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

Everyone: Sandburg.

Jim: But just think baby, you’re not short everywhere.

Simon: And you think we are?

Jim: Not at all. I’m talking about Blair. 

Blair: Yeah, he’s talking about me. 

Joel: Well I don’t think that any of us are short in that department. 

Sully: Have you noticed that they always end up talking about dick size?

Sam: Oh yeah. They’re so afraid they won’t be as big as someone else. 

Connor: Like we care.

Jim: Oh give me a fucking break. You like big dick, Connor. Look at Joel’s dick and tell me that you could love anyone with a small one.

Connor: I couldn’t because I’m never leaving Joel. 

Jim: Cop out answer. Okay, Sully, tell me you don’t love Simon’s big cock.

Simon: Ellison, stop talking about my body parts. 

Jim: Okay, tell me you don’t love his big penis.

Sully: Well I couldn’t because I love his penis. But we’ve not had intercourse in four months, so just shows you that I can go without the big dick. 

Jim: You still sucking him?

Sully: Why? 

Jim: Because then you’re still enjoying his dick. 

Sully: Okay, I love his big dick. I’ve never been with anyone with as nice a dick, and I won’t ever leave this man. 

Simon: Whoa. I love you. You make me feel so good.

Dan: Okay, Sam, how do you feel about this?

Sam: I love your dick. I truly do, but I’ve had a couple that were larger. I didn’t care. I think it depends on how you put it to use. And you use yours really well.

Dan: (Leans in for a big kiss)

Blair: So Jim, how do you feel about it?

Jim: Well sometimes it bothers me, because you’re larger and so I’m getting the bigger end of the stick. Pardon that lousy pun. Other times I don’t give a flying fuck. 

Blair: Go with the flying fuck days, big man. I love you. I love how you put that baby to work. So to me, size is no object. 

Rafe: How do you feel, H?

Brown: I love your dick. You have a beautiful one. I have no complaints and never will. I love you. 

Rafe: I love yours too. (Leans in for his kiss)

Simon: Could we leave?

Connor: Not yet.

Simon: Damn!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

Blair: Jim hogs the blankets. 

Jim: I do?

Blair: Yes, that’s why I have to sleep on top of you every night.

Jim: I thought you were warm for my form. 

Blair: I was looking for a warm form and happened to be there. 

Simon: Sully steals all of mine. 

Sully: I do. 

Sam: Dan takes mine. 

Dan: What’s this mine shit? 

Sam: Sorry, Dan takes ours. 

Dan: Thank you, honey. 

Rafe: H, steals them every night. 

Brown: I do. 

Joel: I take them from poor Meggie. 

Connor: But I love cuddling, so it works. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

Jim: I can be one from time to time. 

Connor: No? Ya think?

Joel: You think Jim is a chauvinist pig?

Connor: He can be. He says the other day, Connor since you’re going to the break room, get me a cup of coffee. You know how I like it. I’d get it myself but you do it better than I ever could. And then he goes back to typing on the computer. 

Blair: (Slugs Jim on the arm.) Where was I when this happened?

Jim: I did do that. I’m so sorry, Connor. I’ll try and watch what I do and say. Chief, you were sitting right across from me. She brought you a cup too.

Blair: Megan, I’m sorry. 

Joel: Thank you boys for apologizing, because I don’t like anyone being mean to my woman. 

Simon: I’m a pig sometimes. I’ll work on it. 

Rafe: Same here. I’ll work on it too. 

Brown: I’m not. I have all those sisters, they’d beat the shit out of me. 

Dan: I’m not, that I know of. 

Sam: Quite the opposite. Thanks. 

Sully: Simon is a pig, but he is working on it. Thank you honey. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

Jim: This would work for all of us. Not just the guys. 

Sully: True. I think about things that I don’t even want to talk about now all the time. 

Sam: Same here. 

Blair: I know I have my share of thoughts. Every five minutes. 

Simon: Same here. 

Dan: My mind is over active when it comes to sex. 

Rafe: Mine never shuts down. 

Brown: Mine is going even when I’m sleeping. 

Connor: I can’t have enough thoughts. 

Joel: Thank god for that. I like to match hers. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

 

Connor: Is there anyone here that feels like this?

Joel: Not me. 

Jim: Not me. 

Blair: Not me. 

Simon: Not me. 

Sully: Not me. 

Sam: Not me. 

Dan: Not me. 

Rafe: Not me. 

Brown: Not me.

Connor: Not me. 

Jim: I think it’s safe to say that this is the first one we all agreed on 100% tonight. I would like to accept the award… (Pretzels were thrown at Jim’s head) Hey you’re knocking out the few hairs I have left on my poor head. Tell them, Chief.

Blair: Leave my baby alone. (Moved to Jim’s lap and they began to make out.) 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sam: I have a question, if Meg doesn’t mind. 

Connor: Go for it, that was the last one, anyhow.

Sam: Let’s say you have a camcorder and you wanted to tape some personal things, would you ever share it with anyone?

Jim: I would be curious if someone else did it. I don’t know if I would do it myself. 

Blair: I would be curious too, but I would tape us and share it with our friends if they were curious.

Sam: So, Blair, you would tape you and Jim having sex? And then you would share it with someone that was curious?

Blair: Yes, I would. 

Simon: I don’t think I would do this and I don’t want to see my co-workers having sex. 

Sully: Simon, if you had a chance to see Dan fucking Sam you wouldn’t want a glance?

Simon: Well maybe.

Sam: So just not the gay tapes?

Blair: You wouldn’t want to see Jim and I give each other blow jobs on tape?

Simon: All right, I might be curious. 

Joel: I would be curious and I would tape something if Meggie was game for it. 

Connor: I’m always game for this stuff. 

Brown: We’ve taped many already. So we like to do it. I would share if Bri wouldn’t mind. 

Rafe: I wouldn’t mind, but I can’t imagine them wanting to see us have sex. 

Sam: Dan, how do you feel about this?

Dan: I want to give it a try. Maybe we could pick one couple a week and then have everyone watch them. No one has to say anything, unless they want to. 

Connor: So Sam, it looks like everyone’s open to this. Let’s all tape this week and then we’ll bring in copies for everyone for next week. If anyone doesn’t feel comfortable, they don’t have to do it. 

Joel: Now is there something special anyone wants on these tapes?

Simon: I think we should leave it up to each couple. Is that it?

Connor: That’s it for tonight. Goodnight everyone. Drive safe and see you tomorrow. 

 

When Jim and Blair got home, Jim couldn’t get naked fast enough. Blair got the camcorder out and started it as he got undressed. 

Jim whispered, “Tonight?”

“Yeah, the idea makes me very hot, man.”

So both men got into the ‘69’ position and began to suck each other as hard as they could. It wasn’t long and they were coming into each others mouths. They began to suck once again, and as soon as they were interested once more, Jim got Blair ready and he laid him on his back, pulled his legs up over his shoulders and pushed into his mate. Again, this was all seen on the camcorder when they checked it later. They made a lot of noise and they were very hot for each other. 

Blair stopped Jim from making him come and said, “I want to come in you.”

Jim hurried up, because he needed to come in Blair’s ass big time. He suddenly screamed out Blair’s name and came into that hot tight channel. 

Blair flipped Jim over and got him ready and pushed in quickly and began to fuck Jim like mad. Before long Jim was moaning and ready to come again. “Come for me, Jim. Come for me now.”

Jim shouted as he came again, and Blair was only good for about ten more thrusts before he came in Jim’s tight ass. 

They took a shower and then went to bed and watched the tape. 

“Holy shit, Jim. We both look incredibly sexy on the tape. I want to share this next week. Would that be all right?”

“I don’t mind. I think we both look pretty fine.” Jim kissed his mate and they started to get sleepy. 

“Take the tape out. We don’t want the kids to see it.” Blair suggested. 

“Good thinking. He jumped up and took the tape out and put it in his jacket pocket until later. 

He climbed back into bed and tugged Blair close as they both got sleepy. 

“Do you think everyone went home and did this tonight?” Blair asked softly. 

“Probably, we’re all sluts.” Jim kissed him and before long there were asleep.

Things were getting back to normal and Jim and Blair couldn’t be happier about it. 

Life rocked and rolled. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 41


	42. 20 HARSH THINGS A WOMAN Can Say To A Naked Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair are still happy and so is everyone else. Lots of fun to be found here. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m Silliness Abounds

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 42  
20 HARSH THINGS A WOMAN  
CAN SAY TO A NAKED MAN!  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 03/14/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: A fun one again. My goodness, will wonders never cease? 

Summary: Jim and Blair are still happy and so is everyone else. Lots of fun to be found here. 

Warnings: m/m Silliness Abounds  
======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 42  
20 HARSH THINGS A WOMAN  
CAN SAY TO A NAKED MAN!  
Patt

Connor stood up at the head of the table and said, “All right guys, settle down. Now first of all tonight is going to piss you all off, but that’s too bad. We always do the make fun of women ones, so now it’s your turn. You’re going to sit back, take it easy and have fun. And maybe you’ll find out you all have a sense of humor.”

“Shit, I knew I should have stayed home tonight.” Simon grumbled. 

“Simon don’t start bitching all ready.” Sully scolded. 

“Are we ready to have fun yet?” Jim asked sarcastically. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Have you ever had a woman say this to you? If you have, what did you say to her? And would you ever say it to another man, if you were gay? 1. Wow, and your feet are so big!

Sully: (choking already.) Oh god, that is too funny. I’ve never said this to anyone, but honestly, I did think it once.

Simon: Hopefully not lately.

Sully: Get a grip, Simon. Not lately. 

Jim: I had something like this said once. 

Connor: Now you have to explain. 

Jim: I should have expected that. Well I had a women sleep with me once and she said she expected more from my dick because I had those nice muscles and nice ass. She was truly disappointed. 

Connor: And what did you say to her?

Jim: I’m sorry.

Blair: I’m sorry? What the fuck were you sorry for?

Jim: She was so nice. I was so fucking horny, I wanted her so badly that I would have done anything. It was only later that I realized that she probably told everyone how small my Ellison was. 

Simon: That’s what you call your penis?

Jim: Sometimes. 

Blair: Sometimes it’s called Sandburg’s Penis and that penis is fucking fine. It’s beautiful and big. So there you friggin freak. 

Jim: Chief, she’s not here. Calm down. 

Rafe: I agree with Sandburg. That was lousy. I’ve never had it said to me, but I would have died if someone did. 

Brown: I never had it said to me, but my cousin did. And he was like damaged for life. To this day, we all swear that he doesn’t sleep with anyone. He’s afraid his penis is too small. 

Simon: See, this is what happens. I hate that shit. I’ve never had this said to me, and if they would have, I would have told them to fuck themselves. 

Joel: I’ve never had it said to me either. But I sure can feel for someone that had this happen. How horrible. 

Dan: I had a woman tell me once that I was too small. I don’t think I am, but I didn’t sleep with anyone for like six months. Man, I was scared to death after that. I’ll tell you Ellison, that took guts fucking her that night. 

Jim: Well, that’s the thing, I didn’t actually get that far. She kept talking about it as I started and I lost it and that was all she wrote. Then she told me I was not only small, but couldn’t keep an erection.

Blair: Does this woman live in Cascade?

Jim: Blair, if she did, I wouldn’t tell you.

Everyone laughed but Blair. 

Blair: Dan, I think you and Jim should find those two girls and fuck them senseless and then laugh at them and say they were awful.

Sam: Excuse me?

Blair: Sorry, Sam. I got carried away. We don’t want our men fucking women. 

Sam: We certainly don’t. 

Rafe: I’ve never had it said to me and would die if they did. 

Brown: You’re right, they would die, baby. I’d kill them. (Laughing as Rafe pulls him into his arms.) 

Joel: Well this ones not going too badly, Meggie. 

Simon: It’s early, Joel. Could we move now?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 2. Ahhhh, It's cute.

Jim: Blair says this all the time. 

Blair: I have said that. I didn’t realize it was a bad thing. 

Jim: It’s not Chief. 

Joel: No one has ever said that about mine. 

Conner: Do you want me to, honey bear?

Joel: I wouldn’t mind. 

Simon: Oh for gods sake. I’ve never had this said about mine and I don’t want Sully to start. 

Sully: Spoilsport. 

Dan: I’ve never had it said and actually I don’t care what she calls it, as long as she’s still calling it. 

Sam: He’s so fucking romantic isn’t he?

Connor: He sure is and cute too. 

Sam: But is his penis cute?

Connor: Well let’s see it, Dan. 

Everyone laughed. 

Rafe: H has never called it cute, but I agree with Dan. I don’t care as long as he’s still interested. 

Brown: Baby, I’m always interested in you. 

Joel: I’m just shocked at how well this one’s going Meggie. 

Simon: Again, Joel, give it time. Connor, move this baby along. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor:3. Why don't we just cuddle?  
Okay, guys has anyone ever not wanted sex?

Jim: Yup.

Connor: You have to say more than that.

Jim: Fine. Sometimes we don’t feel like anything more so Blair says, why don’t we just cuddle?

Blair: You shit. 

Jim: You do say that.

Blair: But I don’t mean it the way Connor’s survey means it. 

Joel: Meggie has said this a few times and I had women before say it. But I don’t think it was for a bad reason. 

Connor: All right, let me explain. She looks at your cock and says, why don’t we just cuddle? That’s what I mean. 

Joel: No, never had anyone say that. 

Jim: Me either. 

Blair: Me either. 

Dan: Me either. 

Simon: Same here. 

Rafe: Never happened to me. 

Brown: Me either. 

Simon: My god, we all agreed. This is a new record. Move. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 4. You know they have surgery to fix that.

Dan: I don’t even get this one. 

Jim: Do they mean, they could make a penis larger. Cuz god knows, I get enough email about making my penis larger. Maybe I should check into it. 

Dan: You think that’s what it means? Enlarge it by surgery? 

Blair: I think so and that’s just gross. 

Simon: I think that you would lose some of the feeling, don’t you?

Rafe: I know I would. 

Brown: Me too. Makes me sick thinking about it. 

Sully: Okay, now it’s time for the wives to speak. I think penis enlargement is a crock. If you have a smaller one, then learn to live with it. But learn to do such fun things for her, that she’ll never notice your size again. 

Sam: I couldn’t agree more. 

Connor: Here, here. 

Simon: Oh god, we’re all agreeing again. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 5. Make it dance.

Blair: I’m sure that this has happened to everyone at some point. 

The guys all looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

Blair: What? No one else has had this happen?

Jim: No, Chief. Tell us about it. 

Blair: I was with two women once, when I was really young, I’m talking about 18. And they used to stare at it and tell me to make it dance. They wouldn’t start licking or sucking until I made it dance. It was actually pretty fun and I always had a good time. 

Simon: Sandburg, I have to tell you, you never cease to amaze me. God, that made me hot just hearing about it. Jim, you have to do something about this man. 

Jim: Now? Here?

Simon: Shut up, Jim. You know what I mean. He shouldn’t be allowed to tell those kinds of stories. 

Jim: He’s got just as much right as you, Simon.

Simon: So it didn’t bother you to hear about his two women and his penis dancing?

Jim: No, why should it?

Dan: You’re such a fucking liar, Jim. 

Jim: Fine, I hated it. Blair I hate when you tell those stories, it pisses me off that I’m not in them. 

Blair: We can change that. 

Jim: Don’t you see? It’s too late. I heard the story. I won’t be the first one making your penis dance. 

Blair: Well I’m the one that makes my penis dance. 

Jim: Whatever. You know what I mean. 

Blair: I don’t think I do. 

Rafe: Shut up. I’ve never had this said to me and hope to god I never have this discussion with Brown. 

Brown: Bri, you won’t have it with me, cuz no one has asked me to make it dance. Although it’s sounding appealing. Want to try tonight?

Sam: I love the way these guys go from one thing to the next. And Dan, you’re penis is going to dance tonight. 

Dan: Sam honey. It’s dancing now. Wanna see?

Simon: NO!

Sully: Well Simon, yours is going to dance for me tonight too. 

Simon: How did I get talked into this. 

Sully: Because you have a penis, honey. 

Joel: Meggie, wanna watch mine dance tonight?

Connor: Wouldn’t miss it for the world. 

Simon: Move this baby along.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 6. It's OK, we'll work around it.

Jim: No, I’ve never had this said about me. 

Rafe: Me either. 

Brown: Well, I once had a woman say this and I was drunk. So I think it’s because I couldn’t get all the way hard. You know how sometimes you just can’t get hard-hard? 

Simon: Do any of you think of what you’re going to say before you say it?

Rafe: Well I know what he’s talking about. I can’t fuck H, if I’ve had too much to drink. Can’t get it in. 

Simon: This is what happens. You bring this on, Connor. 

Connor: Hey, it’s true. I once attacked Joel and he was drunker than a skunk and he couldn’t get in well enough. So I worked around it. 

Blair: Okay, since you all said this, I have this problem sometimes. 

Jim: What problem?

Blair: When I’m drunk I can’t fuck you. 

Simon: Oh god, here we go. 

Jim: Chief, that’s okay. We do work around it. 

Dan: Happens in the best of homes. Simon, you going to say that you’ve never been too drunk to fuck Sully? 

Simon: It’s happened, I just didn’t want to talk about it. 

Joel: But that’s just it, Simon. We can say anything here. We accept each other here and love one another. We’re safe. 

Simon: Connor, is it time to move on yet?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 7. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

Jim: This is past stupid. 

Blair: Agreed. 

Joel: Agreed. 

Dan: Agreed. 

Rafe: Agreed.

Simon: Agreed. 

Brown: Agreed. 

Sully: Agreed. 

Sam: Agreed. 

Connor: Agreed. Was this boring or what? 

Simon: Good, then it’s time to move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 8. Can I be honest with you?

Jim: What are they going to say? Hey can I be honest, your dick is too small so I’m leaving? Why not just make up an excuse and leave. God, I would just die if someone told me they wanted to be honest with me. 

Blair: Jim, you said that one woman did. 

Jim: Oh yeah, and I did want to die. 

Blair: Bitch, I want her fucking address. 

Joel: I think this ones dumb. 

Simon: This one? 

Dan: Well some of them have been good. After all I get to make my dick dance later for Sam. 

Simon: Shut up. I don’t want to hear what my sister-in-law is doing tonight. 

Rafe: Jim, I agree with you. I would just die. 

Brown: I wouldn’t die, because then I would go to Dan’s table where all of you would talk about my small dick. 

Jim: (Spitting his beer across the table) Give me warning, you nut. 

Dan: I say one of us lay on the table with our dick out and the girls will give their honest opinion. 

Connor: I’m on. 

Sully: Count me in. 

Sam: I’m there. 

Simon: Gosh, who will the person be?

Everyone looked at Jim. 

Jim: What? Why are you looking at me? 

//// Connor’s Dream Sequence ////

Blair stood him up and the laid him back until he was lying on the table. 

“Chief, I just spit beer here.” Jim groaned. 

“Man, he must be a good time in bed.” Simon teased. 

Then Blair moved his legs up too. He slowly moved down and unzipped Jim’s jeans and he could feel Jim shaking. “Lift up baby.”

Jim did as asked and lifted his ass up and Blair pulled his jeans and boxers down. Jim couldn’t have gotten hard if his life depended on it. He was a nervous wreck. 

“Ladies, you’re up.” Blair stepped back and the three women stepped in to do their job. 

Sully: Honestly, Jim, this is a gorgeous cock. I bet it’s nice and thick when you’re hard. I just know it. But even so, it’s nice now. It’s a pretty one to boot. The tip is a nice color and I love that you’re circumcised. Very nice cock Jim. And I’m not just saying that. 

Sam: Oh my, he’s starting to pay attention now that Sully got him to listening. Sure enough Sully, he’s nice and thick. Very nice and thick. I bet that tip tastes wonderful when Blair sucks you. Do you like when he sucks you Jim?

Jim: God, yes.

Connor: Oh goodness, he’s past just waking up now. Mr. Ellison, I do believe you like having us paying attention to you. First of all Jim, you have a lovely cock. I would suck it anytime. I mean, if Joel said I could. Spread your legs Jim. I want to see how nice those balls are.”

Jim spread his legs and the three girls checked him out together. Sully moved her hand over his balls softly and he moaned. Sam moved her hand to stroke his cock. Connor looked at Joel and Joel shook his head yes and winked, so Connor went down on Jim and sucked him hard. It only took about three sucking motions and he was there. He yelled out when he came and just tried to get his breathing back under control. 

//// End Connor’s Dream Sequence ////

Simon: Connor are we doing this or what?

Connor: Sorry. I was thinking. 

Blair: That’s been known to be dangerous. 

Connor: Shut up, Sandy. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Connor: 9. (giggle and point)

Jim: This is down right mean. 

Blair: Well I did it a couple of times in college. 

Jim: You’re kidding. 

Blair: No, they were mean shit heads, with small dicks so I laughed and pointed in the shower one day. 

Dan: I’ve never done it. 

Brown: I did it in high school. 

Rafe: I’ve never done it. 

Simon: I might have done it in high school. 

Sully: Might have? 

Simon: Well I’m old now. I could have forgotten it. 

Joel: I’ve never done it to anyone. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 10. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

Jim: Too cruel for words. 

Blair: Jim, you never teased anyone in high school? Some nerdy kid that was skinny and had a tiny little dick? 

Jim: (blushing) Well there was this one kid in my Junior year, that kept following me around. He drove me nuts. And he kept talking to me in the shower after PE. Like I wanted the little nerd near me. But I never said anything until one day he was standing there talking to me non-stop like he always did and I almost laughed because he was kind of cute in his own way. A bunch of my pals came into the shower and they started teasing him. Then they started in with the maybe if we water it, it’ll grow jokes. He looked to me to help him. God, I know I should have. But instead I laughed along with them and watched as they broke a very nice young man. Maybe he was a nerd, but he was a nice person. Fuck… (Jim laid his head on the table and Blair just rubbed his neck for a while.)

Blair: Did he remind you of me?

Jim: (Almost whispering) Yeah.

Simon: Jim, I think we all have something we’re ashamed of from high school. 

Sully: Well let’s hear yours. 

Simon: Not now. 

Sully: You never open up. 

Dan: I never said this and Jim, I’m sorry that you did. You must suffer from guilt to still remember it. But it might be time to move on and forgive yourself. You’ve become a fine man. 

Sam: I have a question after Joel answers. 

Joel: I never said this. So go, Sam. 

Sam: Did anyone have this done to them in high school?

Everyone was real quiet. 

Blair: I had it done a few times.

Jim: What do you mean a few times. 

Blair: I had it done in sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth grade. Some times it was one person. Some times it was a bunch, but it always lasted all friggin year long. 

Joel: God, Blair that’s terrible. I myself never had it done, but had to save a few asses of my classmates from time to time. 

Jim: Blair, I’m so sorry. (Jim pulled Blair onto his lap and just held him. Everyone knew it was more for Jim than Blair.)

Dan: I had it done to me three years of high school and then I began to work out and found out you can actually fight back. But it was a tough time. 

Sam: Oh baby, I’m sorry. 

Simon: It never happened to me, but I was one that did something once and I want to apologize to everyone that ever had it done. I don’t know what we were thinking of. 

Blair: You were a kid, Simon. 

Simon: But so were you, Sandburg. 

Rafe: I got beat quite a few times and remarks were made about pretty boy this and pretty boy that. But it wasn’t too bad. And then I discovered wrestling where I got to work out every single day and build up some muscles. 

Brown: I never did it, cuz my family would have kicked my ass. I’m not joking, there were eyes and ears all over the place. 

Simon: Is it time to move on?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 11. At least this won't take long.

Joel: This is awful. I’ve never heard it said and I wouldn’t dream of saying it if I had been a gay person. 

Jim: Total agreement here. 

Simon: I think it’s mean also. 

Blair: I said this once. 

Jim: What?

Blair: I was at a party and the guy got naked for the girls and I said this. He was crushed and we never talked again after that. 

Rafe: Well as you said earlier, we were kids. 

Blair: Oh no, that was last month. 

Jim: Shut up. 

Brown: I’ve had someone say this to me. She was just being a bitch. 

Rafe: Do you have her name and address. Sandburg and I will pay her a visit. 

Joel: I’ll come along too. Shitty thing to say. 

Sully: I’ve noticed the men all seem to stick up for one another here. Do you all do it at work?

Rafe: Not that much. We wouldn’t want people talking. 

Brown: They might think we’re gay or something.

Simon: I for one, smartass, think it’s because we’re more comfy here. While at work, we’re playing someone else. 

Joel: I think that might be true. 

Jim: That Brown’s a smart ass? I think so too. 

Joel: No, that we’re not comfy in the bullpen, like we are here. 

Blair: I agree. 

Jim: You okay, babe?

Blair: Yeah, I’m fine. 

Rafe: No one’s giving you shit, are they Sandburg?

Blair: You mean are they bugging me while I shower? No, the only one that does that is Jim. 

Jim watched his love and knew something was going on, but he would try to let Blair come to him. 

Simon: Wow, is it over yet?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 12. I never saw one like this before.

Jim: I don’t even get that. 

Simon: Haven’t you ever seen one that’s crooked? Well maybe that’s what they mean. 

Joel: Oh, that makes sense. No, I’ve never heard this said. 

Blair: Me either. 

Dan: Same here. 

Sam: Wait a minute, we said this last weekend.

Dan: I forgot. Sorry. (blushing)

Jim: Do tell.

Dan: She did up my cock like a sundae dessert. It was wonderful. She got to eat all that great stuff and I got to reap the rewards too. And she said, “Wow, I’ve never seen one look like this before.”

Simon: I could have gone all fucking night without hearing this shit.

Sully: (Whispers) Simon, want me to do that to you tonight?

Simon: (Whispering back) You know it.

Jim burst out laughing and everyone looked at him. “Sorry. Just thought of something funny.”

Rafe: H has never said this to me and I’ve never said it to him. 

Simon: Well there you go. It’s time to move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 13. But it still works, right? 

Jim: That’s cruel. 

Blair: I agree. 

Joel: Oh yeah, that’s past mean. 

Dan: Mean taken to the next level. 

Simon: I agree. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: God, we’re agreeing on one. Woo Hoo. 

Simon: That means we get to move to the next one. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 14. This is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

Jim: I’ve heard this said. 

Blair: Where?

Jim: In the service. 

Blair: Was it to you?

Jim: No. 

Simon: Was someone hurt by it? 

Jim: big time. 

Rafe: Tried to kill himself, right? Because some fucking assholes didn’t feel good about their own. 

Jim: He did kill himself. 

Blair: Jim, I’m so sorry. 

Jim: I didn’t know him. Just didn’t help him when I walked through the bathroom that night. 

Simon: Well in your defense Jim, you had enough on your platter. So stop the guilt trips. 

Jim: Yes, sir. (Smiled)

Dan: Isn’t it awful what adults will do. Has anyone here, as an adult made fun of someone’s penis?

Rafe: Yeah, undercover once I did. He deserved it. He was a rat bastard. 

Brown: I’ve said a few things while in the shower to someone I don’t like. I won’t anymore. 

Joel: I’ve never said anything, but I’ve heard things said and just kept quiet hoping it would die down. I won’t anymore. 

Jim: I’ve never made fun of anyone’s penis. I drool over Blair’s does this count?

Blair: It counts to me, big man. I don’t make fun of other guys either. 

Simon: I don’t usually shower downstairs, so I have nothing to add. 

Jim: So you’ve never seen another naked man and said something?

Simon: No, I haven’t. 

Jim: Did you want to?

Simon: Shut up, Ellison. 

Everyone laughed. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 15. Maybe it looks better in natural light...? 

Jim: Stupid. 

Blair: Stupid.

Joel: Stupid. 

Rafe: Hey, I say this to Henry all the time. 

Brown: He does. 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Simon: I’ve never said it either. Woo Hoo. We get to move on again. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 16. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes? 

Joel: That’s cruel. 

Jim: I agree. 

Blair: Who would want to smoke these days? Oh sorry Simon. 

Simon: Hey I just chew on them now. I don’t fucking smoke them. 

Rafe: I think it’s cruel too and I hate the smell of smoke. 

Brown: You and Blair are missing the whole point. Who cares about the dangers or smell of smoking? 

Jim: You guys are a riot. 

Dan: They are. Besides anyone knows that smoking does stunt your growth. 

Laughter erupts and doesn’t die down for about five minutes. 

Jim: Now Dan, that was mean. 

Dan: I wasn’t talking to you Jim.

Jim: Thank goodness. 

Simon: We could probably move on Connor. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 17. Are you cold?

All of the men burst out laughing and were holding their sides. 

Sully: What? I didn’t get this one. 

Jim: Well mine tends to shrink up when it’s chilly. 

Blair: Mine too. 

Dan: Mine hides and doesn’t come out till it’s warm. 

Joel: Same here. 

Rafe: Mine shrinks big time. 

Brown: But in your defense it comes back to life really fast. And yes, mine shrinks too. 

Simon: Mine has never shrunk. 

Jim: So you wear a Willy warmer all winter? 

Simon: A what?

Jim: It’s a knitted cover for your balls and cock. 

Simon: Jesus, where do you learn this shit?

Jim: Here everyone write this down. They have them here and if you look up Willy Warmer in Google.com, you’ll find it there too. http://www.1on1adultsextoys.com/WoolyWillyWarmer-9201-N1526.htm  
Check it out. 

Simon: I don’t believe you know this shit. What has Sandburg been doing to you?

Jim: Simon, I showed him where it was. They’re nice for stake-outs. 

Simon: Shit, I never thought about that. 

Brown: You will now. 

Simon: I feel the need to move on, Connor.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 18. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

Blair: I’ve said this and heard this. 

Jim: He has. Who said it to you?

Blair: This was one of Sam’s favorite sayings. When I was drunk I couldn’t get it up so I would do other things. 

Jim: (Covering up his ears) I don’t know why I ask these things. 

Rafe: Well I’ve said it and had it said to me too. 

Brown: Same here. Must not be as bad a one. 

Joel: I’ve had it said to me a few times. 

Dan: I think I probably said it a few times and had it said. 

Sam: What do you mean said it? 

Dan: Well I was with a guy once. You know that. 

Sam: Oh, I get it. You’re right Jim. Why do we ask?

Jim: Got me. From now on, lets just sit and make out or something. 

Sam: I vote for the or something. 

Simon: I’ve never said it and I’ve never had it said to me. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 19. Is that an optical illusion?

Jim: That’s stupid. 

Blair: Agree. 

Joel: I agree too. 

Brown: I agree four. 

Rafe: I agree five. 

Dan: And I agree six. 

Simon: Not to ruin your fun, I’ll say, I agree seven. Now don’t we get tired of saying this every survey?

Rafe: I don’t. 

Brown: I agree.

Blair: I agree too. 

Dan: I agree three. 

Rafe: I agree four.

Brown: I agree five. 

Simon: I agree six. 

Joel: I agree seven. 

Everyone laughed and patted each other’s back, like they had won a prize. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: 20. I guess this makes me the "early bird."

Jim: Now wait a minute, this doesn’t mean it’s small. It just looks like a worm is all. I’ve had someone say this to me. 

Blair: I sure did. And I caught that worm. It was nice. 

Joel: I bet it was, Blair. I’ve never heard mine called a worm. 

Blair: Wait, I don’t call it a worm. I was kidding around and it just got nutso. 

Simon: Is that what you call your balls? 

Blair: All right, I give up. 

Rafe: Yay. We won. What is our prize, Captain Banks?

Simon: You win one full weekend of work, free of charge to our fair city. 

Rafe: We’re still joking right? 

Simon: Maybe. 

Brown: I called Rafe’s a worm one time. 

Rafe: He did. 

Blair: Did you pretend to go and dig for it?

Brown: Yeah, that’s what I did. 

Joel: To be young. 

Jim: Tell me about it. 

Dan: Well shit, Sam I want you to hunt for worm when we get home, baby. 

Sam: Okay. 

Connor: Since that was the last one, and we don’t want to hear anymore about Blair and Henry digging for worms, how about we fill each other in on our families and doctor visits?

Sam: Good idea. Can I start. 

Jim: Go for it. 

Sam: Well the doctor said that the baby is moving into position so he’s going to be coming sooner than we had thought. He’s talking maybe two weeks. 

Connor: Oh my god, I have to move the showers up. How exciting. This is very good news. 

Sully: Can I go?

Jim: You go, girl. 

Sully: You’re so damn cute. Well Simon and I went for our check-up today and guess what Jim? You were really right. I’m starting to dilate already. He said a week tops. He thinks more like four days. We’re so damn excited and we’ve decided on a name. Can we share it with you. If you don’t like, tell us. 

Simon: Okay, I get to tell them her name. Sully wanted a boy badly, so he could have my name, well she decided on Simone Danielle. Okay, she came up with Simone and I thought it would be nice to name her after Uncle Dan. We couldn’t use everyone’s names. And since Sully and Sam are sisters, we thought it would work. What do you think?

Jim: It’s gorgeous. Rolls right off the tongue, Daddy. 

Simon: (Beaming) Ya think?

Blair: It’s beautiful. 

Brown: I love it. 

Rafe: I love it too. 

Dan: I’m moved beyond words. Thank you so much. 

Joel: I love it too, Simon. Perfect name for her. 

Sam: Okay, I know we already talked, but can we tell you our name?

Jim: Go for it. 

Sam: He should have been a male cheer leader. 

Jim: I played football does that count?

Dan: My turn to tell the name. Sam wants Daniel as his first name and I’ve always loved the name Tristan. So we choose that name. What do you think? 

Jim: Daniel Tristan. How much do you like the name Tristan?

Blair: Yeah, cuz Tristan Daniel sounds kick ass too. 

Sam: What do you think Dan? 

Dan: I like it Tristan Daniel better. Could we call him Tris? 

Joel: I love this name. 

Rafe: I do too. 

Brown: Tristan is an all time fave of mine too. 

Simon: It’s perfect, Dan and Sam. But let’s call him Tristan. It’s a gorgeous name, and I don’t want it shortened. 

Dan: Yes sir, Uncle Simon. (Laughing)

Joel: Can I go next?

Jim: You go boy. 

Joel: (laughing) You did miss that calling for the cheer leading. Okay, you are all invited to Ellie’s first birthday in two weeks. Here are the invitations. I hope you can all make it. We’re so excited. Ellie is talking a lot more now. The doctor said she thinks she’s three. (Everyone laughs) She’s so pretty. And by the way Ellison, she said “wuv Jam” before we left tonight. The doctor said she’s unusually quick with her speech. 

Jim: Oh god, that’s so sweet. I love when she calls me Jam. 

Blair: I do too. She’s cuter than can be. 

Connor: So can you all come?

Jim: I am. 

Blair: Excuse me. We are. 

Jim: She knew what I meant. 

Simon: We’ll be there unless we’re having a baby. 

Sully: OH god, what if we had it on Ellie’s birthday? That would be so cute. 

Sam: Same here. We’ll be there unless we’re at the hospital. I can’t wait. I can’t believe a year has gone by already.

Rafe: The three of us will be there, Connor and Joel. We can’t wait. 

Brown: That little darlin grew up too fast, Connor. 

Sam: All right Blair, you’re up next. 

Blair: Okay, well this is weird news. Can I tell them Jim?

Jim: No, not yet. 

Blair: Okay, well Jade has stopped looking at our penises in the morning. She’s afraid they’ll fall off. So now she just watches us when she thinks we’re not looking. It’s getting better. She does take showers with her Daddy every morning and tells me during breakfast that the Fairy is very nice about leaving Daddy’s penis on him. It’s hard to make breakfast while giggling. She’s just past cute. She loves Lancy and Ellie so much that she asked if we could adopt them too, so we could all live together. They’ve all become best of friends which is so fucking great. I had no one while I was growing up. So this whole family deal has been like a godsend to me. 

Jim: Okay, I get to do Drake. Drake is doing beautifully at his new school and he got two awards this week. One for the best science project and best art project. He drew a picture of all of us. Honest to god, it’s all of us. It’s beautiful. He told me he needed a huge piece of paper for his project so I got him a huge piece to work with and when I saw it, I was so impressed. You’re all going to get copies framed when we get it back from his school. His teacher took Blair and I aside and said he was the most well adjusted child she had ever met. And then the teacher hugged us for being so good for darling Drake. That’s what she calls him. (Taking a big breath and pointing to Brown)

Brown: Well, Lancy is Drakey’s best friend. She loves him so much. Thankfully they aren’t in the same class or they would get no work done. But they make up for it afterwards. Lancy is getting used to being with Rafe and I. She calls me Daddy and Bri, Papa. So that works for us well. She sleeps with us a lot because she still has a lot of nightmares. And is there anything better than sleeping with your child? I don’t think there is. Do you, Bri?

Rafe: I agree Henry. I love her so much and every day, the feeling seems to grow. I didn’t even want a child and now I can’t imagine my life without one. She’s precious. She drives poor Drakey nuts. She talks non-stop and is always hugging him. But he just puts up with it. I’ve taken him aside and told him he didn’t have to put up with her and you know what he said, Jim and Blair? He said, “That’s okay. She’s special like me and Jade. We have to have people love us. If I don’t love her, she would cry. I don’t want her to ever have to cry again.” Can you all guess who cried next? That’s right, big bad, Detective Rafe. 

Jim: That’s great to hear that they love each other. She’s such a beautiful little girl. I love her too. 

Blair: What’s not to love? She’s perfect. 

Brown: (Beaming) All of you are the best. 

Connor: Blair, could I talk to you about Ellie’s birthday, really fast? 

Blair: Sure, he followed her into the kitchen and she shut the door.

“All right, what’s going on? Something said something to you I can tell. What did they say and about who?” 

“Megan, you have to promise to not say a word.” Blair whispered. 

“Okay.” Megan whispered back. 

“You know Nickols in Traffic? Well he keeps asking me out. And he just keeps touching my shoulders and hair. It’s making me uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do.”

“You tell Jim.” Megan said simply. 

“What are you nuts?”

“Jim will tell you what to do.” Megan kissed Blair and then walked out of the kitchen. She looked at Jim and saw a worried man and she smiled at him. That seemed to relax him. 

Everyone said goodnight to each other and drove off to their homes. It had been another fantastic night at Sullivan’s. 

Blair looked over at Jim and asked, “If I asked you something would you promise not to get all pissed off and get crazy?”

“I could try.” Jim was trying. 

“Jim what would you do if someone walked up to you and did this?” Blair caressed his shoulder. 

“Someone besides you, or one of our friends?”

“Yeah, someone that we aren’t friends with.”

“I think I might start with telling him that you’re already taken.”

“Tried that, what’s next?” 

“Then you could tell him that you don’t date two men at one time. How about that?”

“Hmmm, that could work, maybe. What about if someone did this to you?” Blair caressed Jim’s head and hair and then sat and waited. 

“Okay, I’m getting fucking pissed and I’m trying not to, Chief. I really am. But who the fuck is doing this?”

“Nickols in traffic.”

“You’re joking? He looks like he 22 years old.” Jim was jealous of the age thing now. 

”Jim tell me what to say. I need to stop him.”

Jim pulled over and took Blair into his arms and said, “You’ll figure it out, hot stuff. I’m not worried. I love you so much. If you need help, you tell me.”

“I love you Jim.” They were in the middle of a kiss when there was a rapping on the window, making both men jump. 

Rafe was standing there with a big ole smile on his face. Jim got the window down and said, “What?”

“Just making sure everything was all right. Sandburg, Brown said that Nickols is bugging you, is this true?” 

“He’s going to take care of it, Rafe. Don’t worry.” Jim smiled at him and Rafe knew right then that Nickols was going to hear about this from Ellison first. 

“Okay, night you two.” Rafe called out as Jim pushed the button to bring the window back up. 

“Jim, let’s get home and make love all night long.” 

“Would you settle for once, because I’m really tired?”

“Once it is. Do I get to top?” Blair smiled evilly at him. 

“I would love you to top.” Jim drove a little faster to get home. 

“Jim, I’m sorry I started to bring up that news. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’ll think on it some more and see if Linda can become our Nanny. If she can, we might have that little one we wanted.”

“I think it’s so exciting that they called us. That must mean that they totally trust us and think we’re doing a good job.” Blair pondered.

“I think we need to go slow, Blair. We can’t upset our babies.” Jim said protectively. 

“Agreed. I love you.”

“And I love you. Now get in that house, so you can make love to me.” Jim raced him into the house. 

Jim had plans on building a small house on the next lot, for Linda, if she agreed to the job of being the Sandburg-Ellison Nanny. When he saw her, he knew her answer. “Jim, I’ve given it a lot of thought and I would love to become their Nanny. I know it’s hard being a cop with children, let alone two cops with Children. So yes.” Linda smiled as Jim lifted her off the floor and said, “Thank you.”

“We’ll discuss the details later.” Linda left and Blair smiled and said, “Come here.”

He pulled Jim into their room and they both got naked, but Blair didn’t attack him, instead, he held him and said, “We’ve got a lot to think on and talk about. May as well start tonight.”

They talked into the early morning and were barely asleep when they heard both kids climb into bed with them. Brown and Rafe were right. There is nothing like having your little one sleep with you. 

Jim decided that they were going to pass on the baby and instead build the house next door for Linda. Then when the time came and another baby came up, they might have another chance. 

Jade wouldn’t take a baby in her life right now. She wouldn’t want to share her Daddy. And Jim knew that. So did Blair. Things were perfect the way they were. Why mess up a good thing? 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 42 

Thank you for reading.


	43. Pick Up Lines You'll Love and New Additions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby shower and survey too. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m A little bit of Simon/Sully angst. But it works out dandy.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 43  
Shopping, Baby Shower,  
Pick-up Lines You’ll Love,   
and New Additions.  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 03/14/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Summary: Baby shower and survey too. 

Warnings: m/m A little bit of Simon/Sully angst. But it works out dandy. Oh and one more thing, not beta’d yet.   
======================================================

Sullivan’s Pub Part 43  
Shopping, Baby Shower,  
Pick-up Lines You’ll Love,   
and New Additions.  
Patt

“Ellison.” Jim said after picking up the phone. 

“Jim, I need your help.” Connor began. 

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Can we have the shower at your house for the girls? And it’s going to be short notice.”

“How short?” Jim was asking, but was afraid of the answer. 

“Tomorrow night.”

“Shit. Okay, I need a list of things to get.” Jim began. 

“Put Blair on and he’ll make the list up for you. You can get the kids ready to go shopping with you.” Connor loved bossing Jim around. 

Jim yelled for Blair and handed the phone to him. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Sandy. I need you to make a list of things to get for the shower. It’s going to be at your house tomorrow night.”

“Oh Geeze. Let me get this down so we can get started.” Blair began to write looking like the Tasmanian devil. Jim smiled as he watched him. // Blair was so beautiful. //

When he got off the phone he turned around and everyone was ready. “Why do I feel alone here?”

“Hurry up, Poppy, we’re going shopping. You know how much we love shopping.” Drake informed him, like it was news. 

“Okay, give me a second, geeze.” Blair ran into the bedroom and changed and was out in about five minutes. Jim had the kids buckled in their seat belts and the SUV running on high idle warming up. 

“Jim, we on a mission or something?” Blair smiled over at his love. 

“I just don’t like being behind on things.” Jim smiled back. 

“You didn’t mind last night.” Blair almost laughed when he saw Jim’s look. 

“Chief, not now.”

“What was Daddy behind on last night, Poppy?” Jade asked innocently. 

“I told you, Chief.”

“I was just teasing him honey. He wasn’t behind on anything.” Blair assured her. 

“Oh good, cuz I wunt want him to get in trouble from you.” Jade was very serious. 

“Jadey, Daddy never gets in trouble from me.” Blair was watching Jade’s face and saw the sadness. 

“Yes, he did something and made you leave for a long time. So we don’t want him to do that again.”

“Shut up, Jade. Daddy didn’t do anything.”

“Okay, kids. Daddy and Poppy are doing just fine. We love each other and we love both of you. Everything will be fine. Now let’s go shopping.” Jim pulled into a parking spot and they all bolted out the door. Jim somehow knew he was in trouble. 

Jim put his arms around Blair as they watched the kids walk ahead of them. Blair leaned into him and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“Blair, we’re not going to do this again. That wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t my fault. We’re moving on. I love you.” Jim kissed him right there in the middle of the store. 

“Why we stopping at the baby stuff?” Jade was totally disgusted. 

“Because it’s a baby shower, Jade.” Jim laughed out loud. 

“So that’s what we’re shopping for? Baby junk?” she was upset. 

“Daddy, can we go look at fishing stuff for a while?” Drake asked. 

“No, we’re shopping for the baby shower.” Jim was getting better at being stern. 

“Dang it.” Jade stomped her foot and started off ahead of them. She had no idea how hard it was for the men to keep from laughing. 

“Chief, this is the car seat they want.” Jim picked two of them up and put them in the cart. 

“Well that’s ugly.” Drake grumbled. 

“They’re car seats Drake. They aren’t supposed to be beautiful.” Blair tried to explain. 

“They’re boring. Babies are supposed to like fun stuff, Poppy.” Drake whined. 

“Blair, these are the high chairs I wanted to get. What do you think?”

“They’re really nice. Don’t you think you should ask the girls first?” Blair asked. 

“I did ask and they said they didn’t care. Whatever everyone decided. And I told all that would be at the shower that we were getting them both, car seats, high chairs, and wind-up-swings.” Jim was quite proud of being in charge. 

Blair looked around and asked frantically, “Where is Jade?”

Jim tuned everything else out and listened for only her little heartbeat. He heard it and went to her right away. 

“Jade Claire Sandburg Ellison, you’re in big trouble.” 

Jade cried all the way back to the basket. “Little girls that don’t stay with their Daddies, have to sit in the basket.” As Jim tried to put her in the top part of the basket, she kicked and screamed and he was unable to get her legs in there. 

“Chief?”

“Hey, you need to deal with it. She’s a monster. Make her mind.” Blair was pissed at how Jade ruled Jim’s world. Drake didn’t do that. Although it wasn’t good to compare them and Blair knew this. 

Jim handed the list to Blair and asked, “Can you get the other two things? Just put it on our card. I’m sorry. But I’m taking her outside and she’s going to get scolded and maybe a spanking.” 

As Jim walked away, Jade screamed, “Poppy help me. Daddy is mean. He is big and mean. He’s ugly too. And he beats me.”

Blair looked at Drake and they both burst out laughing. 

“Ugly?” Blair giggled in Drakes ear. 

“She’s goofy, huh, Poppy?” 

“Yes, she sure is. Now let’s get this shopping done so Daddy doesn’t have to sit out there with her too long. We don’t want him scaring other people with his ugliness.”

Drake burst out laughing. “I love you, Poppy.”

“Good, than chances are, I won’t be called ugly today.” Blair teased. 

“Not by me.” 

In the parking lot Jade was crying her heart out. It was giving Jim a headache and he didn’t want to spank her. So instead, he left her in the SUV and slammed the door and paced around the SUV. She started to quiet down and all Jim could hear was, “I want my Daddy. I want my Daddy.”

Jim slid in the back seat and held her and she cried herself to sleep. When Blair got to the SUV, they were both sleeping. 

“Guess you’re going to be up front with me, little man.”

“Goody. I love being your little man.” Drake helped Blair unload everything and they were off. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Jim, did Connor tell you what we’re doing for the shower?”

“Using soap?” Jim smiled at his love. 

“No, we’re having a Pub Survey after the presents are done with. Instead of lame women’s games, we’re going to have fun.” Blair laughed.

“Blair, I find it hard to believe that this is your idea of fun. Sometimes they’re fucking awful.”

“But usually they’re funny or fun. Right?”

“I guess. We’ll make the best of it, Chief.”

The following day, Jim was driving everyone nuts with his cleaning. “Daddy, no one’s coming in my room.” Jade whined. 

“They might and we want it to look good.” Jim continued cleaning. 

“I don’t.” Jade screamed and ran into Jim and Blair’s room. Jim could hear things hitting the wall and floor. He walked in and shouted, “What are you doing?” All he could see was the room he had clean was now a filthy mess. 

“I’m giving you a room to clean. So there.” Jade stormed out. 

Blair stood there and said, “You’re going to have to take care of this Jim. She’s a brat.”

“I don’t want to hit her.” Jim wouldn’t look at him. 

“So don’t hit her. Ground her. Tell her that she doesn’t get to see Lancy after school for a week.” Blair pushed him towards Jade’s room. 

Jim opened up Jades door and said, “Jade, you won’t be able to see Lancy after school for one week. Do you understand?”

Jade let out a loud scream and kicked Jim in the shin. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I wish we never came here.” She then laid down on her bed and cried herself to sleep. 

Jim was heartbroken and cleaned up their room to take his mind off of it. Drake came in and said, “Daddy, can I help?”

“Sure. I’m just picking up.”

“Daddy, she’s been really naughty lately and Mrs. Mitchell at the Day Center said if she continues she won’t be able to come back.” Drake looked sad. 

“Drake, what’s wrong? Why don’t we know about it? Why is she doing this?” Jim wondered why he was asking an almost six year old. 

“She told me one day she misses you. You spend all your time with Poppy and Ellie.” Drake rubbed Jim’s back as he told him. Jim glanced back and thought it was the most precious thing he had ever seen. 

“Drake, I love you more than life itself.” And Drake found himself in an Ellison hug he couldn’t escape from. Not that he wanted to. “I love you too, Daddy.”

“Here’s the paper from Mrs. Mitchell. Please don’t beat her.” 

“Mrs. Mitchell?” Jim asked confused. 

“No, Jade. She’s just a baby.”

“I would never beat her. Don’t worry about that.” Jim read the paper and found himself getting very angry. Angry at himself and at Jade. They had let this go on for too long. 

Jim got up and woke Jade up and asked, “Want to go to the grocery store with me?”

“No, you can just take Drake.” Jade said sadly. 

“I’ll just go alone then.” Jim got up and started for the door. 

“I’ll go, Daddy. I don’t want you to be alone.” Jade jumped up and took Jim’s hand. 

As they were driving Jim said, “Jade do you know how much I love you?”

“Course I do, silly.”

“Then why are you so angry with me?” Jim looked heartbroken. It was even apparent to an almost five year old. 

“I’m sorry Daddy. I’m not mad at you. I love you. I don’t want you to be anyone else’s Daddy. You’re mine.”

“But I am yours, silly. No matter what I do, I’ll always be yours. If I’m holding Ellie, it doesn’t matter because I’ll be yours that same evening, right?” Jim asked her. 

“I guess so.”

“Honey, I love you more than life itself and I don’t want us fighting anymore. It makes Daddy cry.”

“I don’t want to make you cry.” Jade blew him kisses from the back seat. He sent some back along with a smile. 

Jim had a feeling that this was the first of many problems. Jade really did want too much from him sometimes. He would have to work on it. // And who’s fault is that Daddy? // They would have to work on all of this. 

When they got home, Jim told Blair about the letter. “Jim, we’re going to start sending her places. She can go and stay at Rafe and Browns now and then. She can stay with Connor and Joel. Things like that. She needs a change in her life now and then. She spends way too much time with you and you spoil her rotten. As of tonight, no more sleeping in our bed.” Blair delegated these rules without a thought. 

Jim was upset because he loved having the kids in bed with them. “Even if they have nightmares?”

“That’s a different story. We’ll tell them tonight after everyone leaves.” Blair said. 

“Let’s discuss this one more day before we speak to them. Okay?” Jim asked pitifully. 

“You got it. Now get your ass in gear. We have a party to put on.”

When everyone arrived at 6:00, dinner was ready and the house was all decorated. 

“Guys, it looks wonderful. Thank you.” Sully admired. 

“We didn’t do it alone. Connor helped. She did all the shopping for the decorations and she came early to help put them up.” Jim wanted her to get credit, too. 

“Thanks, Meg.” Sam said hugging her. 

“It was fun. Watching Jim and Blair argue over everything is quite entertaining.” Connor smiled over at her friends. 

Dinner went as planned and then the big clean up. Rafe and Brown helped Jim clean everything. Once that was done, they sat the girls at the table to open their gifts. 

Lancy, Jade, Drake and Ellie were all playing in the living room. 

Each gift the girls opened, made their eyes grow wider and wider. Sully leaned into Sam and said, “Hell, we aren’t going to need a damn thing when we leave here tonight.”

“Tell me about it.” Sam agreed. 

“Girls, we can either just sit and talk, or I’ve got a Sullivan’s Pub Survey ready. Which do you prefer. Jim got all of the kids sleeping in he and Blair’s room. It’s safe.” Connor was so hoping they wanted this for sure. 

“Sullivan’s pub for me.” Sam said laughing. 

“And you’re asking, why?” Sully laughed. 

“Come on guys, we’re on. Sit around this huge table and get ready to have fun.” Connor ordered. 

“I’ve heard that somewhere before and it doesn’t work.” Simon said. 

“Simon, sit your ass down and have a good time.” Sully was into the bossy bitch stage of her pregnancy. 

“Tonight’s going to be fun. You are going to laugh and laugh hard, or I’m going to kick someone’s ass.” Connor smiled as she said it. 

“I think she means it.” Blair whispered to Jim.

“She does.”

“All right. Here we go. Tonight we’re going to hear pick-up lines and you have to tell us if you’ve heard them, had them used on you or would use them in the future.

“Connor, we don’t need pick-up lines anymore.” Sully laughed. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Is your Dad an astronaut? Because someone took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Jim: (Falls out of chair laughing.) No, I’ve never heard it and have never said it.

Blair: I had it said to me once. Then I had to tell them that I didn’t have a dad. 

Rafe: You did not.

Blair: I know, that’s what I said. 

Rafe: I mean, you didn’t have this said to you.

Blair: Were you there, Rafe? I think not.

Simon: Shut up, both of you. I’ve never heard it, used it or had it said to me. 

Joel: Same here.

Dan: I haven’t had it used on me, but I sure laughed at the bickering it caused. 

Brown: Rafe uses this one on me all the time. 

Rafe: I do not. 

Sully: How about you Rafe? Have you had it said to you?

Rafe: No. 

Sully: Well I haven’t had it said to me either. 

Sam: Me either. 

Connor: Me either. 

Simon: Could we move on now?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: You must be tired because you've been running through my dreams all night 

Jim: I said something like this once to Blair. 

Blair: He did. It worked. We fucked all night long. 

Simon: We could do without hearing that.

Blair: Why?

Simon: Sandburg, just because we love you doesn’t mean we love what you do. So shut up.

Jim: Don’t tell him to shut up again.

Joel: Well I think it’s sweet, Blair and Jim. I’ve never had this said to me. But Meggie might. 

Connor: Consider it done big guy. 

Simon: Never had it said and don’t want to have it said. 

Dan: I wouldn’t mind if Sam said this to me.

Simon: You’re turning into a wuss puss, Dan.

Dan: Like I care. (glares at Simon) 

Rafe: I like this one. 

Brown: Baby, I’ll use it on you the next time we play pick up at the bar. 

Simon: Again, do I want to hear that? I don’t think so. 

Rafe: Oh fuck you, Simon.

Simon: Did you forget who you’re talking to?

Rafe: No, you’re the same ole grouch you’ve always been. But we’re not at work. We’re at Jim and Blair’s. So fuck you again. 

Sully: Sit down, Simon. I’ve never heard this one either, but it’s a nice one. 

Sam: I enjoyed the banter more than the pickup line.

Simon: Well I didn’t. Can we move on now?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 

Jim: Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Blair said this to me one night at the bar.

Blair: But Jim, we already knew each other.

Jim: So?

Connor: I think it’s cute.

Joel: I think it’s cute too, Meggie. 

Dan: I love this one. I’m using it on Sam. 

Rafe: It is kind of sweet. 

Brown: I love you, Bri. 

Simon: God, you’re all wuss pusses.

Jim: If you were getting sex, you’d be a wuss puss too. 

Sully: (Looking hurt.) Is that why you’re always so angry, Simon?

Simon: See what you did, Ellison. No, I’ve been this way for years. Ask them. 

Sam: I think you need to calm down, Simon. You’re being a butthead.

Simon: Your sister just called me a butthead. 

Sully: You are. Straighten up. 

Simon: Can we move now? 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours? 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Joel: Where does she find this stuff? 

Jim: Never said it. 

Blair: Same here. 

Dan: Same here. 

Rafe: God, it’s funny, tho. 

Brown: I might try and remember it.

Connor: I’ll give you a copy of the survey, honey. 

Brown: Thanks. 

Simon: I think this one is past stupid. 

Blair: How far past? 

Simon: Shut up. 

Jim: I told you to not tell him to shut up again. 

Simon: Fuck you, Jim. Don’t boss me around. 

Jim stands up and said, “Follow me.”

Sully got a worried look on her face and asked, “Are they going to fight?”

Joel said, “Nah. Jim’s just going to find out what’s wrong.” 

In Jim and Blair’s bathroom Simon is leaning against the wall. “Think you can take me Ellison?”

“I don’t want to take you. I want you to tell me what’s wrong.” Jim stood right in front of him. 

“I feel like I’m in over my head. I’m not sure I really love Sully anymore.”

“You’ve got to be joking? She’s wonderful. And she adores you.” Jim was pissed. 

“I figured I would wait and see how things went after the baby and make my decision.” 

“What decision?” Jim now was upset, instead of pissed. 

“I want out, Ellison. Haven’t you ever felt trapped? Well I do and I don’t like it. Don’t worry, I won’t dump her right now.”

“Oh that’s so nice. You’ll wait till she has the baby before moving?”

“Well it’s just how I feel.”

Jim didn’t know what to say so he said nothing and stormed out of the bathroom. 

Jim sat down and said, “Let’s get back to the survey.

Everyone looked at him and could clearly see he was upset and they were all trying to figure out what was going on. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

Sully: Oh god, Simon said something like this to me our first date. Do you remember honey? God, I knew I loved you at that very moment. 

Simon: Yes, I remember. 

Jim: I say this to Blair all the time. 

Blair: And I say it to him. 

Joel: I say this to Meggie. 

Connor: And I say it to Joel. 

Rafe: I say it to H. 

Brown: And I say it back. 

Dan: I haven’t said this, but I will. 

Sam: Oh goody. 

Simon: We could move on.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room? 

Sully: (Sniffing) Another one that Simon used on me quite a few times. God, I love you baby.

Jim glared at Simon. Everyone saw it but Sully. 

Simon: In my defense, I was drunk at the time.

Sully: So you never meant those wonderful things you used to tell me?

Simon: Honey, we’ll talk about this later. 

Sully: Are you mad at me? (Begins crying)

Simon: (Pulls her into his arms.) Everything is fine. Relax. I love you. 

Sully: You do?

Simon: Yes, I do.

Rafe: Well if H said this to me I’d be pissed. I don’t want to be the girl. 

Brown: (laughing) And I do? 

Jim: I’ve told Blair he was the most beautiful creature in the world. Does this count?

Blair: It counted to me, big man. I love you. (They kiss)

Dan: I like this one, I’m going to use this one too. 

Sam: Oh goody, here comes another. 

Joel: Same here. Meggie get ready for a new one. 

Connor: Oh goody is right. 

Simon: Could we get this over with?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: You are the reason men fall in love.

Sully: Oh god, another one. (She begins to sob.)

Simon: Why are you crying?

Sully: You’re such a romantic man. I love you. (She kisses him and he kisses her back.)

Jim: It doesn’t sound like you, Simon. 

Simon: I’m not always a grouch. 

Blair: When aren’t you?

Sully: He’s romantic, loving and kind. You all don’t know him like I do. He’s the most wonderful person that I could have found. I can never thank all of you for being in my Pub every week. If you wouldn’t have been, I never would have saw him and fallen in love with him. He’s my Prince. He’s my dream come true. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. I’ve never been so lucky. 

Everyone looked over at Simon and saw the ice man start to thaw a little. 

Sully: And when I got pregnant, I really didn’t expect you to stay with me. And that would have been all right. Because I had you for a short time. You would have been in my heart forever. So if I ever make you feel trapped Simon, know that I understand and I will love you forever. Thank you for giving me this child and loving me all this time. I truly love you more than life itself. 

Simon moved into Sully’s arms and started to cry. And he was crying hard. She just held on to him tight. Somehow she knew that she came close to losing him tonight. She had seen that look on Jim’s face and it broke her in two. But she wanted Simon to be happy too. She leaned into his ear and whispered, “Simon, if you want to leave me, I’ll understand. I’ll miss you, but I want you to be happy.”

Simon used his handkerchief and wiped his face off and looked at her. “I want to stay. Forever.”

“Good, because I want you forever.” Sully kissed him hard. 

“We have to go.” Sam and Dan said getting up. 

“Why?” Jim asked. 

“Our baby wants out sooner than they planned.” Dan said smiling. 

Simon and Sully got up to go with them. “We’ll call as soon as there is news.” Simon said walking out the door. 

“Wow, I can’t wait.” Connor was bouncing. 

No one mentioned what had happened with Simon and Sully. They all hoped that it wouldn’t happen again. 

The friends all sat and talked for about four hours and waited for the phone call. 

When the phone rang Blair ran for it. Jim let him answer, he could tell how excited he was. Jim didn’t even listen in. 

When Blair walked into the living room he smiled and said, “Okay, ready?”

“Yes, we’re ready.” Joel said. 

“Simone Danielle Banks was born at 10:20pm.”

“What? Sully wasn’t even in labor.” Rafe was shocked. 

“Well I guess she changed her mind.” Blair was smiling. 

“Come on Chief, what about Dan and Sam?”

“Tristan Daniel Wolfe was born this evening at 10:46pm.”

“All right! Both babies are fine?” Jim asked picking his lover up and hugging him. 

“Both babies are great. Both ladies asked if we would hold off on Sullivan’s Pub until they got back. They love it and don’t want to miss any.” Blair added. 

“God, I can’t wait. I’m so excited. Joel, would you get Ellie so we can go home?”

“I’m getting her.” Joel walked into Ellie’s room and got her ready to go. 

As they were walking out Ellie cried and said, “Jam. Jam.”

“Not tonight honey, maybe tomorrow.” Joel said trying to comfort his daughter. 

Jim watched and realized he was going to have to work on Ellie too. He didn’t want to drive everyone away because he makes their children into brats. 

Once everyone was gone, the men went to bed and found two little ones. Jim looked at Blair and said, “Let’s sleep in the spare room.”

And they did. Jim showed Blair just how much he loved him more than once that night. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 43

Thank you for reading.


	44. Miss Ellie's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Ellie’s First Birthday and some naughty dreaming. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m who isn’t having sex in this one?

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 44  
Miss Ellie’s Birthday!  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 04/13/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Get ready for some laughs and more Dream Sequences. I’ve got way too much going through my brain these days. 

Summary: Miss Ellie’s First Birthday and some naughty dreaming. 

Warnings: m/m who isn’t having sex in this one? ======================================================

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 44  
Miss Ellie’s Birthday  
Patt

 

Megan Connor was so excited about this evening. It didn’t seem possible for Ellie to be one year old, already. How time flies. 

“Joel, did anyone call while I was out to say they were coming?” 

“Honey bear, Jim called and said they’d be here two hours early to help us get ready. Then Rafe called and said the same thing. Dan called and said they’ll be here with bells on. Simon called and said they’ll be here early. He wants to show off Simone`.” Joel kissed his wife as she passed by. 

Ellie came flying out of her room yelling, “Dah. Dah. Dah.”

“Ellie, Ellie, Ellie.” Joel said laughing as he picked her up. Looking at his sweet child he realized there was very little of him in her appearance. Sometimes that bothered him.

“Are you thinking that it bothers you that she doesn’t look more like her daddy?” Megan knew her husband well. 

“Yeah, I was.”

“Well, maybe you’ll have more luck the next time.” Megan just smiled sweetly. 

“Oh shit. You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Joel set Ellie down and picked up Megan and swung her around. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I just found out when the doctor called me this morning. So it’s new to me too.”

“Does the doctor know the problems we had with Ellie?” Leave it to Joel to worry first thing. 

“Yes, he does. He’s really a good doctor, Joel. Don’t worry.” Megan kissed him and wished that Ellie was in bed. 

“Let me put Miss Ellie down for a quick nap and you and I will go and have some fun.” Joel took off down the hallway and laid her down. She fussed for a while, but gave up and went to sleep.

Joel and Megan’s dream sequence:

Joel showed his lovely wife how much he adored her two times before they fell asleep. When Connor woke up Jim was standing in the doorway watching them. Both Connor and Joel were naked. 

“You kids having fun?” Jim teased trying not to look at the bed itself. 

Conner was behind Joel and started to stroke him and he was growing quickly. “Meggie, I don’t want to do this in front of Jim.”

“I’m leaving. I’m sorry.” As Jim started to leave the room he heard Connor whisper Sentinel soft, “please watch. It will make him so hard and come so fast.” 

Jim turned around and walked towards the bed and said, “You both might want to think about getting up, don’t you agree?”

Connor started fisting Joel fast and hard and Joel held on to Jim’s hand. “Jim, help me make him come.”

Jim slid his hand over hers and together they fisted Joel. Joel looked down and saw what they were doing and he howled as he came. Jim had never seen anyone come as much as Joel did. All Jim could think about was sucking him and swallowing. 

“Where’s Blair?” Joel finally asked when his breathing got back to normal. 

“He’ll be coming later.” Jim said, still huffing away. 

“Jim, did you like that?” Megan asked smiling. 

“Yeah I did. I shouldn’t, but I did.”

Joel got up off the bed and took Jim into his arms and they began to kiss. “I love you Jim and sometimes I feel like a man. I was hoping that one of these days it could be you.” Then Joel began to undress Jim slowly and Joel was once again hard and Jim was still hard. Once Joel had him naked, he pushed him up against the wall and they began humping each other very noisily. Joel then asked, “Can I fuck you big man?”

“Yes, Joel. Fuck me now.” Jim was to the begging stage now.   
So as Joel prepared Jim, Blair walked into the room and saw what was going on. He licked his lips when he saw Megan on the bed. She was lying there naked with her legs open and Blair didn’t think he could get much harder. 

“Want to make me come Sandy?”

“Holy shit. Megan, do we want to start locking doors, young lady?” Blair walked over and laid next to her on the bed and kissed her. “Were you teasing my man? Knock it off. He’s as hard as a rock. Fuck him hard Joel. Fuck him hard.”

“I’m so close, Sandy. I’m so close.” Megan was begging now. She took a hold of Blair hand and pulled it down to her cunt and he began to make her moan and come even closer. “Sandy, please.” That’s when he moved down in between her legs and began to suck and lick her clit. He couldn’t believe how great she tasted. Then he began to rub her clit and he tongue fucked her. She was screaming by the time she came. 

Joel was pounding Jim’s ass harder and harder as they watched Megan and Blair. Jim came screaming Joel’s name and Joel yelled out Jim’s. Jim tried to move away, but Joel wouldn’t let him. He continued to move in Jim’s anus, and before long both were hard again. Joel kept it up and Jim was getting closer and closer to coming. Joel marked him, to let Blair know that he was part his now. And Jim came yelling for Joel. 

End dream sequence:

“Joel honey? You might want to wake up and you might want to talk to Jim about some things. You were calling his name out and talking about fucking.” Connor tried not to smile. 

“I’m sorry Meggie. I like the way he moves. I love the way he looks. I would love to be in his ass sometimes.” Joel hung his head. 

“I don’t think they do that, honey bear, but you could talk to him about it. I was having a dream about Sandy eating me. So don’t feel lonely.” She moved over and got on top of Joel’s nice cock and began to fuck him senseless. It didn’t take too long. They were half way there already. 

“Megan, you fuck me so good. I love it. I love it. God, I’m going to lose it soon honey.”

“Joel, fuck me hard. Show me who I belong to.” And Joel did just that. She came crying out his name and he followed right behind her. 

“You really know how to make me less tense, honey bear.” Joel smiled as his woman. 

“Joel, I love you more than you’ll ever know. Now, let’s take a shower and get ready for the party.”

While they were still in the shower, Jim, Blair, Drake and Jade got there. They walked in when no one answered and Jim could hear Ellie fussing. We better be sure they know we’re here. 

Connor came walking down the hallway naked and screamed when she saw Jim and Blair. “I think they know we’re here now.” Blair laughed. 

Jim went in and got Miss Ellie and picked her up. He changed her and left her naked so she could have a bath before the party. He walked out with a naked Ellie and Blair said, “What are you doing?”

“What?” Jim asked confused. 

“Why is Ellie naked?”

“I’m giving her a bath. You want to help guys?” Jim asked Drake and Jade. Drake said, “Sure, I’ll help, Daddy.” But Jade said, “I’m going to go and say hi to Uncle Joel. I love him.”

And before Blair could grab her she was in their room and walked into the bathroom where Joel was still in the shower. 

“Hey, Uncle Joel. I came to say hello to you.” Jade said all sweet. 

“Hey back, sugar. I’m glad to see you.” Joel answered. 

“Uncle Joel, can I see your penis? I’ve seen almost everbodys penis. I want to see if it’s nice too.” She was pressing her face against the doors of the shower trying to see. 

Joel opened up the doors and started to dry off. “Oh gooness. You have the nicest one of all. Auntie Megan do you just love this penis?” Jade was staring away. 

“As a matter of fact, I do love it. But don’t tell your Daddy or Poppy that theirs aren’t as nice. They’ll feel bad and we don’t want them to feel bad do we?” Megan asked.

“Oh no. I would never want Daddy or Poppy to feel bad.” The little darling said very seriously. 

“Where is your daddy?” Joel asked as he continued to dry off. 

“He’s giving Ellie her birthday bath. Him and Drake. They’re boring. They don’t like me looking at their penises anymore.”

There was a knock at the door and Blair said, “Can I have my daughter back?”

Megan had a robe on now, thankfully and walked out with Jade in tow. 

“I hope she wasn’t asking to see Joel naked or anything.” Blair could only hope. 

“She didn’t have to ask, he was in the shower and it’s all right, Blair. She knows not to touch, right, Jadey?”

“Right, never touch. Just look sometimes.” Jade said quite seriously. “Poppy have you ever seen it?”

“Seen what honey?” Blair asked. 

“Uncle Joel’s penis. It’s very nice.” Looking up at Blair, she smiled. 

“Do I have to mention that you don’t say this to anyone else?” Blair asked sternly. 

“What does mention mean anyhow?” Jade was stalling. 

“You know what it means. Now stop talking about penises or I’ll take you home and we’ll fail to see Miss Ellie’s first birthday.”

“I don’t care if we miss it. Daddy only loves her anyhow.” Jade stormed out of the bedroom. 

“Sandy, would you please take over Ellie’s bath and have Jim spend time with Jadey?” Connor asked. 

“On my way.” Blair walked into the main bathroom and informed Jim of what was going on and Blair took over for Jim as the large man walked out and looked for his daughter. 

“Hey Jadey.” Jim said kneeling in front of Jade.

“Hey.”

“What cha doing, baby?” Jim sat next to her and cuddled. 

“I miss you Daddy.” She crawled into his lap and sniffed Jim’s smell. Jim thought it was so cute the way she did that. She saw Jim scenting Blair one night and Jadey thought it was just something everyone did. 

“I’m here for you always, Jade. Always. I love you.” Jim pulled her into his strong arms and he could here her sniffling and feel her shaking a little bit. 

“Jade, you’re my daughter and I won’t ever love anyone more than you.” Jim assured her. 

“Not even Drake?”

“I meant of my children. If we had a baby, I could love her just about as much as you.” Jim was still holding on. 

“So you don’t love me more than anyone?”

“Jade, I love you more than I love Ellie. I love you more than Lancy. I love you more than Simone and I love you more than Tristan. Got it?” Jim smiled down at his precious gift and she kissed him and said, “Got it.”

“Now can I ask you a question?” Jim was serious. 

“Sure Daddy. Anything.”

“Will you be nice to Simone and Tristan tonight. They’re still really little and are afraid of a lot of people. So maybe if you talk to them and rub their little faces, they won’t be so scared.” Jim suggested. 

“Look Daddy, they’re here. There’s Uncle Dan and Uncle Simon.” She ran to the front door and opened it and jumped into Sully’s arms. “Auntie Sully, you look beautiful. Do you like Simone?”

“We love Simone, precious.” Sully said laughing. Jade jumped down and made a run for Auntie Sam and kissed her asking her the same thing about Tristan. 

“We love Tristan. He’s a very good baby, Jadey.” Sam kept hugging her. 

Jim walked out the front door and said, “Hey Daddies the women got you doing all the work?” Jim grabbed Tristan and started making faces and noises at the newborn. 

Connor walked out and said, “You better stop it now before it gets out of control.” Everyone burst out laughing as Ellie walked out the door and saw her Uncle Jim with a dreaded baby and started to scream. 

“Auntie Meggie. I’ll take over.” Jade took Ellie and went in the house.

“Well that was nice. What brought that on?” Connor asked no one in particular. 

“I asked her to help if things got to be too much for any of us today. She seemed happy to be of use. She wants to hold the babies too. She told me.” Jim smiled at everyone. 

Joel called out the door, “The party is in here. Come on everybody.”

Rafe and Brown arrived next with Lancey. Drake thought he was pretty important because he had gotten there before she did. He grabbed her hand and said, “Come on, we’re helping Auntie Megan get things ready for the cake.”

“Beer?” Jim asked Rafe and Brown. 

“Sure.” They both said at the same time, laughing and then kissing each other. 

Blair said, “Jim can I talk to you really fast?”

He followed Blair into Ellie’s room and said, “What’s up, Chief?”

“I am. I’m so warm for your form, I’m about to cream in my pants.”

“Chief, we’re at a kids birthday party.” Jim complained. 

“Suck me?”

Jim shut the door and locked it and sucked Blair off in record time. Afterwards, they held each other until there was a loud bang on the door. 

“Daddy, you in there?” Jade yelled. 

“Yes sugar, I’m coming now.” Jim smiled at Blair as Blair realized that Jim was hard and very noticeably. 

“Daddy will be out in a minute honey. He’s holding me because I’m upset.” Blair went down on his knees and pulled Jim’s cock out of his pants and slowly began to suck on it. Running his tongue across the slit at the end, about drove Jim nuts. Jim noticed that Blair was taking his time. 

“Blair, hurry, everyone is looking for us.” Jim panted. 

Blair did just that and in no time at all, he was shooting his loot down Blair’s throat. “Thanks Chief. I loved it.”

They both got themselves together and walked out the doorway and everyone burst out laughing. Camera’s went off and everyone was talking at once. 

“Jim, what did we miss?” Blair asked. 

“They were all listening to us, you shit. I told you we shouldn’t have been doing it. But noooooooooo!” Jim pushed away from him and went into the kitchen. 

Simon walked up to Blair and said, “He’s just embarrassed, Sandburg. He’ll get over it.”

Everyone settled around the dining room table as Joel brought the cake out. Megan brought the ice cream and the plates and silverware were already on the table. 

Jim was still standing in the kitchen and Megan walked in and said, “I don’t give a rats ass what’s going on with you and Sandy. I do however care about Ellie’s favorite person in the world being present to see her blow out candles. Now get your ass in there.”

Jim walked into the dining room and Drake jumped into his arms. “I missed you Daddy.”

“I missed you too, Drake.” Jim kissed his little neck making him snicker and giggle. 

They all sang Happy Birthday to Ellie and helped her blow her candles out. Then they sat her in her highchair and gave her, her first piece of birthday cake. She had it all over her hair, face, hands and dress. 

Joel laughed and said, “Boy am I glad I got those pictures earlier.”

Blair was still watching Jim, but Jim hadn’t given him the time of day. Blair knew he was in trouble big time. 

Lancy walked over and said, “Uncle Jim, can I have a hug?”

“Why certainly, little lady.” He hugged her for a long while and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Lancy.”

Rafe and Brown watched and listened and both got teary eyed. Uncle Jim was indeed a fantastic Uncle. 

“You can put me down now. I have to find Drake.”

“What’s going on with Drake?” Jim asked. 

“Jade said we’re going to hold Drake down and tickle him until he cries.” Lancey seemed really happy about that. 

“It’s not nice to tickle someone that much. You tell Miss Jadey to come and see her Daddy.” Jim was getting tired of having to get after her all the time. 

Rafe walked up and said, “Let me handle it, Jim. I’ll take care of it. And I want to keep Jade one of these nights, so Drake has you guys to himself. What do you say?”

“Sounds good to me.” Jim said quietly. 

“Jim, you’re just pissed at him. Tell him that. He’s scared to death. He hasn’t taken his eyes off you since this happened.” Brown said. 

“I’ll do things in my own time, Brown.”

Joel called out, “Everyone come on in so Miss Ellie can open her presents.

They all sat down while Ellie sat on the table itself, and opened up presents. Of course she had to have some help from Mummy and Dah. Jim ran out to get a present that was still in the SUV and came back in with this huge present. 

“Do we even want to know?” Megan asked laughing. 

“Blair picked it out. It’s nice.” Jim said almost shyly. 

When Joel opened it, Rafe snapped a lot of pictures. It was so damn cute. It was a police car with some pink accessories on it. It would only go a very low speed and was very safe, with a built in safety belt. 

Lancy said, “Uncle Blair, will you come to my birthday?”

“We come to all of our families birthdays.” Blair kissed her cheek and she hugged him. She whispered, “He’ll be better tomorrow.”

“I know baby. Thank you.” Joel pulled Blair in for a much needed hug and Jim finally looked at him. He could see the hurt. When was Jim going to stop fucking up their lives? 

Jim got Blair’s attention and mouthed out, “I love you.” And Blair was over on Jim’s side faster than anything. 

Simon leaned in and said, “Sandburg, you haven’t held Simone yet. Do you want to?”

“And you think you have to ask?” Blair blurted out as he went to Sully. 

Simon pulled Jim into a hug and said, “I’m proud of you, boy. You worked that one out all on your own.”

“Thanks Dad.” Jim teased him back and Simon took him down to the floor and the wrestling was on. 

“Oh for gods sake, quit fucking around.” Connor yelled. Both men stopped and looked up at her surprised and worried. 

“What’s wrong, Connor?” Simon asked. 

“Nothing, I had a bet with Joel that you would both get right up if I said that. It worked. I win. Jim you have Ellie for a month. Simon, you have her for the next month.” Connor laughed as she walked away. 

Jim followed her and said, “Well we’ll have the last laugh cuz you know we have her room all done up, we’ll gladly take her for a month. So there.”

Connor shoved him down hard and the wrestling was on. Jim was trying to be gentle, but she wasn’t being fucking gentle with him. So the gloves came off and they got down to business. 

“Meggie, knock it off right now.” Joel ordered and Megan got right up. She had a bloody nose and a bruise on her face. 

Jim looked worse. He had many bruises and a bloody nose. Joel got right up into Jim’s face and said, “Don’t you ever hit her again.”

“I’m sorry.” Jim said head hanging low. 

“You better not have hurt that baby. Megan, what were you thinking?” Joel yelled. 

“Baby?” Jim asked terrified. 

“She’s two months pregnant and you were just beating the shit out of her. Feel better now?” Joel was pissed. 

“Joel, I started it honey bear. Don’t yell at him. Yell at me.” Connor was defending Jim. 

“I’ll yell at both of you.” Simon hollered, “Knock this shit off. And I do mean now.”

Jim washed his face and came out and found Connor and said, “Connor I’m sorry. And congratulations.”

“For what? It was a good wrestle. Joel doesn’t tell me what to do all the time. Let’s do it from time to time on the mat at the station. Want to?”

“Joel just told me to never touch you again. I think I’ll say no.” Jim started to walk away. 

“Chicken shit. I thought I found one man that would actually fight me like I was an equal. They’re all fuckers.” Connor walked off ranting and everyone was smiling. 

Everyone came over and wished Joel and Megan good luck with the upcoming baby. Neither Joel or Megan seemed really thrilled right then. 

As the evening wore on, everyone passed the new babies around and all of the little ones, got to hold them too. 

Dan walked up to Jim and said, “Ask Joel if you can wrestle her at work, so that she feels like one of us. Explain it to him. Then when he says yes, you can pound the shit out of her.” He thought he was pretty funny. 

“What scares me Dan, is she’s tough. She was holding her own. She kicks and hits hard. I’m not in good shape anymore.” Jim smiled over at him. 

“Go talk to him.” Dan walked back over to where his wife and little Tristan were. 

 

Simon walked over to see how Sully and Simone were doing and saw both of his beauties and he felt an ache in his chest. God, he loved them both so much. They were both beautiful. 

 

Jim walked into the kitchen and found Joel. “Hey big guy, what cha doing?”

“What difference does it make? I’d really like you to leave Jim.” Joel rarely got mad and Jim was seeing a mad Joel Taggert. 

“Joel, let me explain something to you and you take it from there.” Jim rationalized about the feelings that Connor was having about fitting in with all men. She had no women officers in MC. She just wanted to see if Jim was going to baby her and he didn’t. She was thrilled. Then he told Joel about her offer to fight on the mat in the gym every day at work. 

“She really wants this?” Joel looked shocked. 

“Yeah, Joel she does. But we have to make her think it was her idea.”

“You got it. It’s in your hands. But please don’t hurt her too badly.” Joel said softly. 

“Joel, did you happen to notice who was the one bleeding the most tonight?” Jim laughed as he walked out of the room. 

Jim saw Connor carrying a sleeping Ellie to her room and he followed. “She’s so fucking sweet, Connor. I just love her.”

“I know you do Jim. You can kiss her before I put her in bed.” 

Jim leaned down and kissed her softly and lifted her from Connor’s arms and laid her in bed. Then Jim pulled Connor into his arms and kissed the top of her head. 

“Tomorrow at 5 in the gym. Be there or you’re a chicken shit.” He started to leave and she grabbed him and said, “You asked Joel didn’t you?”

”Of course I did. I don’t want him kicking the shit out of me.” 

Megan touched his face softly and said, “I have something to ask you.”

Jim was nervous all of a sudden. “Jim, do you and Blair ever share?”

“Share what?” Jim asked.

“Like if my husband wanted you badly, would you ever think about it?”

“Joel wants me?” Jim was shocked. 

“He loves me to death, but he needs a man I think. And would love to have you.”

“I don’t even know what to say about that.” Jim was in deep shock.

Jim’s Dream Sequence 

Blair walked in and said, “Whoa, what’s going on? Am I interrupting?”

“No babe. Come here.” Jim pulled him into their arms and they just hugged. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” Blair was no fool. 

“Joel would like to fuck me and we wanted to know what you think about it.”

Blair just stared at him and said, “Jim, you could do that?”

“Well I love him. I’ve always loved him. As long as he didn’t expect me to give you up, I’d be all right with it.” Jim answered. 

“Jim, I don’t care. Or rather, I don’t think I care.”

“Well Sandy, we could be in the room with them. You and I could take care of each other while Joel has his way with Jim.” Connor smiled over at her Sandy. 

“I could maybe do that.” Blair smiled and said, “I’ll ask Rafe and Brown if they can take the kids for tonight.”

He went out of the room and Connor said, “Looks like it’s on.”

“Shouldn’t we ask Joel?” Jim wondered aloud. 

“Jim, he’s been calling your name out nightly for about a month. So I think it’s a safe bet that he’ll be warm for your form.”

Joel and Megan said goodbye to everyone and Blair and Jim helped them clean up the house. Joel went to put some things in the bedroom and Megan said, “Jim, go and make some moves on him and let him get used to it before we get in there.”

“Will do, Captain.” Jim laughed as he walked into their room. 

Joel came out of the closet, which cracked Jim up in itself, and almost ran into Jim. “What do you need Jim?”

Jim went into his arms as if he wanted a hug and Joel hugged him gladly. They stayed that way for a while and Joel asked, “Jim is something wrong?”

Jim kissed Joel’s neck softly and felt the larger man shiver. Jim knew he had him. He began to unbutton his shirt, he finally got it all done and began to kiss his neck, chest and nipples. Joel helped Jim out of his shirt quickly and started pushing Jim over to the bed. Once they got there, Joel took Jim’s pants and boxers off. Jim was standing there naked, standing up nice and proud. Joel took his pants and boxers off and they both laid on the bed and began to kiss like mad. 

“Jim, I’ve wanted you for a long while, but I have to know that I can have you more than once. Can I?”

Jim could hardly think because all of the blood went south and he said, “What do you mean, more than once, Joel?”

“I mean, if I need you can I have you sometimes?”

“I don’t know if Blair would go for that.” Jim kept kissing him and was climbing on top of Joel’s body humping their erections. Joel started pushing Jim’s butt to make them get closer and he said, “I need to fuck you like once a week, Jim.”

“Joel, could we talk about this afterwards?”

“No, we have to decide now, Jim.” Joel reached down and started to rub Jim’s balls and then moved down and took Jim’s cock into his mouth. “Decide now Jim.” He deep throated Jim’s cock and played with his balls just right and he was right on the verge of coming. Joel pulled away and sat on the bed and pulled Jim into his lap. He just started stroking him slowly and Jim was begging for him to do more than that. He was going very slowly while he waited for Jim’s answer. 

Joel moved his over hand around to play with his balls again. He noticed that Jim was sensitive and got close easier. He sped up the stroking and then sped up the rubbing of his balls and Jim was getting close again. 

“Jim, you have to answer me, baby.”

Joel continued to stroke and rub and got faster and faster while Jim could hardly breathe. “Tell me now Jim. Tell me now baby. Come on and I’ll let you come in many different ways. But you have to tell me first.”

“Joel, please. Please. Please.” Joel stopped everything and waited and Jim finally realized he had to say something. As soon as he thought he might have an idea, Joel began to stroke and rub him again. This time it wasn’t going to be slow. This time he was going to drive him nuts. Jim was begging, “Please, Joel.”

“Talk to me baby. Tell me what my baby wants. Or I stop.”

 

Joel spread his legs and began playing everywhere, making Jim all the more insane with need. Jim was right there and Joel could feel it. He knew he was going to have to do something. 

“Baby, if you don’t say anything then you’re going to fuck with me more than once. So if you don’t want to, tell me now.” Joel put everything into the stroking and rubbing and Jim was moaning louder and louder and he said, “Say something sexy to me, baby.”

“I need you big guy. I need you to fuck me. I need you to suck me. I need you. Oh god, I’m getting so close. Oh fuck, I’m so close.” Jim was dying. 

“Does this feel good baby?”

“God, yes.” Jim whimpered. 

“How good does it feel, baby?”

“Fantastic, Joel.”

“Are you my baby?”

“Yes, I’m your baby. Oh yeah, like that Joel. Fuck me with your hand. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh god, you make me feel so good. I’m your baby. I want to be your baby.”

Joel slowed down again and Jim whimpered, again. “Joel?”

Joel got some lube and prepared Jim’s ass for a fucking he wouldn’t soon forget. He put Jim on his back and entered in one smooth move. Jim howled with pain and ecstasy.

Joel was pounding into Jim relentlessly and Jim was crying out for release. 

“Who do you belong to, baby?”

“I belong to you Joel, when I’m in your bed.” Jim had enough sense to say that. 

“Who’s baby are you all the time?”

“Yours.”

“You’re such a good boy. I love you Jim. I love your ass. I love fucking your ass.” 

“Fuck me Joel. Fuck me Joel. Make me yours.”

Joel reached down and started pumping Jim’s cock and Jim wasn’t going to take long at all. 

“I love you Joel. Fuck me. Make me yours. Mark me.”

Joel bit him and Jim came harder than he’d ever come and after about ten more thrusts, Joel came into Jim’s ass. 

“You’re mine, Jim Ellison. Mine.”

They began to kiss and Jim said, “But I belong to Blair too.”

“Remember you had all the time in the world to think about it and you couldn’t say anything. So you belong to me. You’re going to get your ass fucked ever single night, by me.” Joel commanded. 

“But Joel, what about Blair?”

“Oh fuck Blair. He can have Megan.”

Joel moved over and slid back into Jim’s ass. Joel was hard already. Round two was on the way. When that was done, it was round three. 

And this is why you can’t fuck your friends.

End Dream Sequence. 

“Hey big man, you gonna wake up so we can go home?” Blair asked. 

Jim pulled him down on his body and kissed him hard. “I love you so much, Blair.”

“What’s wrong, babe?” 

“Bad dream. Where are the kids?” Jim asked. 

“Already in the car seats in the car. Come on, you’re holding up the show.” Blair giggled as Jim pinched his ass. 

Jim hugged Joel and Megan as he left and felt weird about it. 

As they were driving home with the sleeping children in the back, Blair said, “So, you want me to ask you whose baby you are?”

Jim choked and said, “What?”

“You were saying it in your sleep. I thought maybe you needed me to be more assertive in bed.” 

“That would be all right with me. I like when you’re boss.” Jim smiled over at his love. 

“Now can I ask you something else, big man?”

“Sure.”

“Why are your pants soaked?” Blair almost laughed as Jim looked down and saw he was indeed soaked to the skin. 

“Fuck.”

“Well I would say you dreamed someone was fucking you.” 

“Fine, it was Joel. Megan told me that he wanted to fuck me. And I let my imagination get away from me. Then he got all possessive. Made me keep telling him I belonged to him and I was his baby.”

Blair burst out laughing. “Jim, you are too much.”

“Tell me about it. Chief, I’m exhausted. When we get home can I just shower and go to sleep?”

“Sure you can. I’m not, I’m fucking your ass.” Blair said quietly. 

“I’m not going to get any rest tonight am I?” Jim asked knowing the answer. 

“Nope. I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk anymore, big boy.”

“You’re not going to make me talk all during sex are you?” 

Blair again burst out laughing. “Joel had you talking during sex?”

“Yes, it was a fucking nightmare. And then he wanted to have me all to himself. So I was freaking out big time.”

“NO talking, just fucking. You’re mine.”

“Gladly. I love you, chief.”

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 44


	45. Do YOu Remember?  2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to kill Rafe off in this one, but figured you all might miss him. 
> 
> More of Do You Remember survey. This one is sweet and some angst. Brown and Rafe are having some troubles. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m There is no talk of sex in this one. Geeze, what kind of story is that? So I guess there is no fucking nudity, eh?

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 45  
Do You Remember? 2  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 04/14/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 45  
Do You Remember? 2  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 04/14/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: I wanted to kill Rafe off in this one, but figured you all might miss him. 

Summary: More of Do You Remember survey. This one is sweet and some angst. Brown and Rafe are having some troubles. 

Warnings: m/m There is no talk of sex in this one. Geeze, what kind of story is that? So I guess there is no fucking nudity, eh? ======================================================

 

Sullivan's Pub Part 45  
Do You Remember? 2  
Patt

Everyone was waiting at Sullivan's for Simon, Sully, Dan and Sam to arrive. This would be their first night away from their babies. 

"We might have to help them get through the night." Jim said smiling. 

"It wasn't that long ago and it was you." Brown laughed. 

"Hey, I'm a sucker for babies and little kids." Jim growled at Brown. 

Rafe said, "Heads up, they're here."

"Hey everyone." Sully said as she kissed everyone and hugged them hard. 

"We missed you." Jim said to Sully as she kissed him. 

"What about me?" Simon asked. 

"No, we didn't miss you. Just Sully." Blair laughed loud and hard. 

"I'll get you for that, Sandburg." Simon shouted. 

As Sam kissed Jim, he said, "I missed you too."

"What about me?" Dan asked knowing they would say something funny. 

"OH man, we missed you the most." Blair giggled. 

"Wait a minute. You missed him, but you don't miss me?" Simon glared at everyone. 

Joel smiled and said, "I missed you, Simon."

"Well all right then." Simon said laughing as he sat down at the table. 

"Tonight we're going to do more Do You Remembers. Hopefully it will go as well as the first one. Let's order drinks and go from there." Connor couldn't wait to get started. 

Once they all got their drinks, they waited for Connor to start. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

Jim: I heard mine coming over here. I sang it to Blair. 

Blair: He did, but I didn't hear mine.

Connor: So what is it, Jim?

Jim: Black Magic Woman by Santana. 

Brown: He doesn't look like a woman to me. 

Rafe: I don’t think so either. 

Jim: I love the song, and he does have his spell on me, baby.

Simon: You got that. 

Joel: It's a great song, Jim. I love it too. I sing it to Meggie all the time. 

Connor: He does. 

Joel: So what's your favorite song Blair?

Blair that's not what the question is about. Do we remember hearing our favorite songs on the radio. 

Joel: Yes, I do. Daily. 

Simon: Me too. 

Brown: Me three. 

Rafe: I haven't heard my fave in a long time. I wonder why. Oh yeah, that would be because Henry turned to his fucking station and won't let me listen to rock and roll anymore. 

Everyone burst out laughing. 

Sully: I hear my song all the time and if Simon is with me, I make him sit through it too.

Sam: Dan and I listen to music all the time, so yes, I hear my fave a lot. 

Dan: What is your fave, baby? 

Sam: I'm a Believer, by Smash Mouth. 

Again, everyone burst out laughing. "Hey, I thought it would be perfect for a lawyer."

Jim: That's true. 

Connor: So Blair what is your favorite song?

Blair: Mine is mostly instrumental. Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? By Moby. 

Connor: That sounds sad.

Blair: It is a little, but I love it. 

Simon: I like Jim's better. Are we going to like move on to the next one or what?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.

Sully: I remember that, but it sure doesn't happen much anymore.

Sam: I agree. No stores have half off anymore. 

Simon: I don't shop much.

Jim: Oh you're kidding. (Jim snickers.)

Simon: Jim did I tell you that you're working this weekend?

Jim: Oh fuck you. You can't make me work cuz I piss you off.

Dan: I think he has you on that Simon.

Connor: Okay, back to the question. Don't any of you men remember this?

Jim: I don't shop much. (Snickering again.)

Simon: Oh say it ain't so.

Blair: I remember when I used to find things on sale. 

Dan: I remember, but not lately. 

Rafe: I find things on sale all the time. You just have to know when to shop. 

Brown: I don’t think they shop at your suit store. 

Rafe: Some of them do.

Jim: Which some of them?

Rafe: Fine, I’ll keep my thoughts to myself from now on. 

Simon: Wow, I think we can move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Do You Remember 

Connor: Chocolate milkshake.  (or vanilla!) (or strawberry)

Rafe: I have a Chocolate Milkshake every week. Never fails. Henry and I love to go to the ice cream shoppe. 

Brown: I always order Strawberry. That’s my favorite. 

Jim: We both like Chocolate. 

Blair: We do. 

Sully: I love milkshakes. They taste so creamy and good. Vanilla for me. 

Sam: Same here. 

Dan: I love Chocolate, at least once a week.

Joel: Meggie and I both drink Chocolate. But now and then we try a strawberry one. 

Simon: Same here. Do we all go to Teddy’s for ice cream? We should meet there once a week. 

Jim: That’s where we go. 

Dan: Same here.

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: We’re all on for Sunday night, with our kids. How does that sound?

Simon: What time?

Brown: 7:00 is good for us. How about everyone else. 

Dan: Sounds good to me. 

Simon: Works for us. 

Jim: Works for us. 

Blair: What he said. 

Rafe: I can’t wait. 

Brown: If you stand us up and you get a smack on Monday.

Sully: Ooohhhh. I like the smacking talk. 

Sam: Simon, get that woman under control. 

Simon: I’m trying. Now could we move on, Connor? 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: A long distance phone call.

Jim: What does this one mean? We all remember long distance calls. 

Blair: Maybe it means with the Internet, you don’t need to call long distance any longer. Do you suppose? 

Joel: I think you might be right. We all send email messages and keep in touch that way. 

Sully: I talk to my family out of town, on IM. It’s wonderful. So I rarely make a long distance call. 

Simon: I make long distance calls a lot, because I hate the computer, most of the time. Unless I have Sandburg there to fix it for me. (Snickering.)

Sam: I use the Internet. 

Dan: I call people on the good old fashioned phone. 

Rafe: I make a lot of long distance phone calls and also play with the computer. 

Brown: I have a big family, so I have a huge long distance bill every month. 

Rafe: Tell me about it. 

Brown: You complaining?

Rafe: A little. We have to spend too much on phone calls.

Brown: Fuck you. We? I spend too much. You don’t. 

Rafe: I thought we were doing this together. 

Brown: I don’t even want to look at you, let alone live with you. (Jumps up and leaves.)

Jim: Okay, what was that about?

Rafe: We had some trouble earlier and he’s pissed off at me. 

Blair: What trouble, Brian?

Rafe: It’s nothing. And it’s personal. 

Blair: Want me to go and talk to him?

Rafe: No, we’ll work it out.

After awhile everyone realized that Henry wasn’t coming back. 

Jim got up and walked to the restroom. He was hoping he could make it one fucking evening without having to run in here and talk someone out of it. Sighing, he opened the door and found it empty. 

Jim walked outside and found Henry leaning on their SUV. “Hey H. What cha doing out here all by yourself?”

“Jim, there is nothing to fix, we had a fight and I don’t know if I want to stay with him. But there is nothing you can do to help. Sorry.” Henry never looked at Jim once. 

Jim pulled him into his arms and said, “What happened?”

“He met someone while he was at that special training seminar.”

“What do you mean, he met someone?” Jim was instantly pissed off at Rafe. 

“You have to promise you won’t say a word to anyone, Jim. Promise?”

“I promise, Henry. Now tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s a woman. And he’s thinking about dating her and seeing how it goes.” Henry looked heartbroken. 

“Seeing how it goes? Well I can tell him how it’ll go. He’s going to be fucking dead is how it will go.” Jim started pacing in the parking lot while ranting. 

Rafe walked out into the parking lot and said, “You best not have mentioned any of our private business to Ellison.”

“Hey Rafe, when you leave Henry, who gets Lancy?” Jim yelled. 

Rafe yelled right back, “Fuck you Ellison. Mind your own business. Henry, come back in and we’ll discuss this later.”

“No, I want to know now if I’m going to have a partner tomorrow or not.” Henry said sadly. 

Jim was still standing there and he said, “I’m thinking of being bi for a while. We’ll work it out, H.”

Brown walked up to the door and said, “I’m saying goodbye to everyone and then I’ll be out of your way. Don’t come home. You’re not welcome in our home anymore. And Lancy will stay with me. But you can see her from time to time. And by the way, I hate you.” Tears were pouring down his face and then he decided to just go home. 

“Henry, come on. We’ll work this out.” Rafe was trying to sweet talk him. It wasn’t working. 

“Bri, are you going to be sleeping with this woman?”

“I think so.” Rafe answered. 

“Then everything won’t be all right. I want a life with a man that loves me.” Brown got into his SUV and started it up. 

“Henry, don’t you leave me here. Give me a ride at least to pick up my vehicle and some clothes.” Rafe sounded angry now. 

“Fuck you.” And Brown drove off.

Jim walked into the Pub and had everyone ask where the boys were. 

“Well, Rafe is on his way in and Brown left. They’re fighting. So just leave it.” Jim looked totally disgusted with Rafe, when he came walking in. 

They all started talking to him at once and Jim sat back and listened. Suddenly Rafe’s heartbeat sped up and Jim followed his line of sight. There was a lovely looking woman standing there at the bar. So this is Henry’s rival. Jim felt so old. She was gorgeous and was easily going to win Rafe’s heart. // Fuck. //

“Are we going to start this or not?” Simon asked. 

Jim went to the restroom and called Brown. “Henry, you have to come back now. She’s here.”

“You’re kidding?” H asked. 

“No, turn around and come back. Okay?” Jim asked. 

“Be there in five.” Brown turned on a dime and was on his way back to Sullivan’s. 

Jim sat down and had barely pulled his chair up and Henry came through the door. “Sorry everyone. I was having a little hissy fit. Sorry babe.” Brown leaned in and kissed Rafe soft and passionately. Rafe started to pull away, but Brown didn’t let him. 

In a whisper, Brown said, “Bri, you know how you want to do some new things at home for sex? Well I’m open to those.”

Brown’s hand was lying on Rafe’s lap and Brown felt Rafe’s cock get hard instantly when he mentioned that. 

Then Rafe whispered, “And what if I want you to be with someone else and me?”

“I can’t share Bri.” Brown kissed him hard this time. 

“Connor, get this show back on the road.” Simon ordered. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: A bubble bath.

Jim: I’ve never had a bubble bath. I don’t think. 

Blair: Then you don’t remember. (snickered.) I take bubble baths when Jim is off saving the world without me. He never gets home in time to see me.

Jim: You’re so full of shit, babe.

Simon: I’ve never had one either. 

Sully: But do you remember them? 

Simon: Well of course I do. You take them all the time. 

Sully: There you go.

Rafe: I don’t take bubble baths. (He was looking around the bar, trying to find the woman)

Brown: I’ve taken a couple. 

Rafe: When?

Brown: So that I would smell nice for you.

Rafe: Really?

Dan: I take them with Sam. 

Sam: He does. 

Joel: I take them with Meggie too. 

A young girl walked over to the table and put her hand out to Simon and said, “Captain Banks? My name is Marsha Miller. I met Brian Rafe at the seminar and he told me all about this survey thingy and I wanted to see how it went. Is that all right?”

“Not really. We’re pretty private and we say things we don’t want repeated. Sorry.” Simon shook her hand and almost pushed her from the table. 

Jim had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. 

Simon glared at Rafe and said, “That’s why you’re fighting with Henry? You want a piece of ass? Is that it? I can’t believe you would do that to Henry.” 

“It’s not what you think. I haven’t done anything.” Rafe said trying to defend himself. 

“Henry are you all right?” Joel asked worriedly. 

“I’m fine and please don’t be angry with him. He doesn’t have to love me.” Brown said sniffling. 

“Henry, I do love you. I’ve always loved you.” Rafe was the one sniffling now. 

“Bri, I want you to make your choice. Go and be with her if you have to.” Brown didn’t mean it, but knew it had to be said. 

“I’ll be back tonight, Henry. I just need to talk to her.” Rafe stood up and everyone glared at him. 

Rafe walked up to the woman and she kissed him deeply as they walked towards the door. Brown knew he wasn’t going to have him again. // fuck //

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Does anyone remember giggling?

Jim: Blair was giggling at the beginning if you think back.

Blair: I was. I remember. 

Simon: I don’t giggle. 

Sully: Do you remember giggling? There is a difference. 

Simon: Yes, I do remember. 

Sam: I remember and do it often. 

Dan: Same here. 

Joel: We do it a lot with our little girl. (Beaming)

Brown: I giggle with Lancy all the time. She could make anyone giggle. (also beaming)

Simon: I think we could move this along Connor.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: A good conversation.

Jim: Blair and I have good ones all the time. I love when he talks. 

Simon: But do you talk too?

Jim: I think I do. Do I, Blair?

Blair: Yup, you give great conversation. 

Everyone laughed. 

Dan: We always have a great talk before we go to bed. 

Sam: It’s like verbal foreplay. 

Everyone laughed once more. 

Joel: Meggie and I always talk too. 

Simon: Sully and I have good talks almost every night. 

Sully: We do, I love catching up on everyone and everything. 

Brown: I can’t go to sleep until I’ve heard his voice for a certain period of time. (Looking so lost and sad, he got up and rushed to the restroom.)

Joel walked in after Brown and saw the man sobbing before him. “Come here, Henry.” Joel put his loving arms around Henry and just made him feel treasured. Joel just held him until Henry calmed down and then they cleaned his face off and walked back out to the room. 

“Sorry everyone. I’m just being a big wuss. I think I’m going to go home.” Brown grabbed his jacket and Jim said, “I’ll give you a ride.”

“OH shit, I don’t have a car here. Well I’ll wait till we’re done, Jim.” 

Simon growled, “Are we done Connor?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Just a few more, sir. Does anyone remember, The beach 

Simon: Well that’s just stupid. 

Sully: Do you remember going to the beach for fun, Simon?

Simon: Of course I do. 

Sully: Then it’s not silly. I remember too. 

Brown: I love the beach. But it’s been awhile since I went. I need to take Lancy. 

Jim: I love the beach too and I’ll never forget it. 

Blair: He won’t, he talks about it all the time. I like it too. 

Dan: I love the beach. 

Sam: Me too. 

Joel: Well Meggie we need to make a date for the beach. 

Connor: Sounds good to me, honey bear. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Laughing at yourself.

Jim: Connor, we all laugh at you. 

Connor: Seriously, do you take yourself to seriously, or do you laugh sometimes. 

Jim: I laugh a lot of times. And if I don’t, Blair reminds me when I need to. 

Blair: I laugh at myself all the time. I crack myself up. 

Brown: I laugh at myself too. 

Dan: I know that I do. 

Simon: I must be too serious. I don’t laugh at myself. 

Sully: You could use a little loosening up. 

Jim: (Laughing) Need any help with that?

Simon: Very funny. 

Sam: I laugh at myself daily and like Blair, I crack myself up. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Running through sprinklers.

Jim: I remember. (grins widely.)

Blair: What are sprinklers? Not the kind on the ceiling?

Simon: I think we need to kick his ass. I remember. 

Sully: I don’t. 

Sam: Oh you do too. 

Sully: Fine, I remember. 

Joel: I used to love to run through them. 

Dan: I remember them. 

Sam: So do I honey. 

Brown: I don’t remember. Sorry everyone. 

No one had the heart to yell at him. So they let it drop. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

Jim: I do that all the time. 

Blair: Me too. 

Brown: Me three. 

Simon: Shit, I hate this. Me four. 

Sully: Me five. 

Sam: Me six. 

Dan: Me seven. 

Joel: Me eight. 

Simon: Okay, we’re done with the counting, can we move on?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

Jim: Blair tells me all the time. I don’t see it, but he still says it. 

Blair: You are beautiful, babe. And Jim tells me all the time. 

Brown: Rafe used to tell me that. Things will change now, but he did love me. I have to remember those wonderful things. 

Simon: (growling) Sully tells me all the time. 

Sully: And Simon tells me. 

Dan: Sam finds beauty in everyone and everything. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my life. 

Sam: Dan you are beautiful. And thank you for telling me again. 

Joel: Meggie says this to me. I love when she does. 

Connor: I love when Joel tells me too. It does wonders for my ego. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Friends.

Jim: Never forget them. 

Blair: Same here. 

Joel: I love having friends. 

Connor: Same here. 

Simon: Friends are the most important thing in your life. 

Sully: Loving them is the second most important. (smiling)

Sam: I love all of our friends. 

Dan: I don’t. I only like Sam. (Laughs hard.) Seriously, I love you all. 

Brown: I love our friends too and I hope that you’ll all love Brian no matter what.

Jim: I’m not gonna.

Blair: Really mature Jim. 

Simon: Connor could we move this baby along. 

Connor: We’re done. Why don’t you put a cork in it. 

Everyone burst out laughing. They all left and said goodbye to each other. Brown rode with Jim and Blair. 

As they pulled up in front of Browns house they all saw Rafe’s SUV parked in the driveway. 

“Want us to come in, Henry?” Jim asked. 

“No, I think we’ll need to talk.” Henry got out and walked to the front door, pausing only long enough to wave to the guys. 

“He looks scared to death.” Blair said. 

“It’s a scary thought thinking your man won’t be coming back.” Blair could hear the pain in Jim’s voice. 

“I’m sorry babe. I really am.” Blair had thought he needed to be away from Jim. He knew he’d hurt him, but didn’t know it still hurt him. 

“Not a big deal, Baby. Let’s get home and remind each other what we do mean to the other one.” Jim drove a little bit over the speed limit to get home sooner. 

They sent Linda home and showered for their evening of passion. 

They had no sooner gotten out of the shower and in the bed when the phone rang. Jim picked it up and snarled, “Ellison.”

“Jim, he picked me. He fucking picked me. And he never even wanted to have sex to make the decision.” Jim could hear Brown’s racing heartbeat. 

“So why do you seem upset?” Jim asked quietly. 

“I’m not upset, he just got done fucking my brains out and I can’t breathe yet.” Brown was totally thrilled. 

“I’m glad to hear it, H.” 

“Will you tell Blair for us? And Jim, will you be happy for me?” Brown needed that more than anything. 

“You got it. I’ll tell him right now. Call the others. They were worried about you.” Jim suggested. 

“Okay, I’ll do that now. Thanks for your friendship, Jim. I love you.”

“I love you back, Henry. Now go and make those calls.” Jim hung the phone up with a big smile on his face. 

“He chose Henry?” Blair asked cuddling up to Jim. 

“Yup.”

“I hope he doesn’t fuck it up.”

“It’s their life, Chief.”

“You’re happy aren’t you?” Blair asked with a smile in his voice. 

“I’m fucking thrilled. That’s what life should be like. Now, come here and let me show you how life should be like in our home.”

Things were never dull at Sullivan’s Pub or everyone’s homes. Thank god for that. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 45

 

======================================================

 

Sullivan's Pub Part 45  
Do You Remember? 2  
Patt

Everyone was waiting at Sullivan's for Simon, Sully, Dan and Sam to arrive. This would be their first night away from their babies. 

"We might have to help them get through the night." Jim said smiling. 

"It wasn't that long ago and it was you." Brown laughed. 

"Hey, I'm a sucker for babies and little kids." Jim growled at Brown. 

Rafe said, "Heads up, they're here."

"Hey everyone." Sully said as she kissed everyone and hugged them hard. 

"We missed you." Jim said to Sully as she kissed him. 

"What about me?" Simon asked. 

"No, we didn't miss you. Just Sully." Blair laughed loud and hard. 

"I'll get you for that, Sandburg." Simon shouted. 

As Sam kissed Jim, he said, "I missed you too."

"What about me?" Dan asked knowing they would say something funny. 

"OH man, we missed you the most." Blair giggled. 

"Wait a minute. You missed him, but you don't miss me?" Simon glared at everyone. 

Joel smiled and said, "I missed you, Simon."

"Well all right then." Simon said laughing as he sat down at the table. 

"Tonight we're going to do more Do You Remembers. Hopefully it will go as well as the first one. Let's order drinks and go from there." Connor couldn't wait to get started. 

Once they all got their drinks, they waited for Connor to start. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

Jim: I heard mine coming over here. I sang it to Blair. 

Blair: He did, but I didn't hear mine.

Connor: So what is it, Jim?

Jim: Black Magic Woman by Santana. 

Brown: He doesn't look like a woman to me. 

Rafe: I don’t think so either. 

Jim: I love the song, and he does have his spell on me, baby.

Simon: You got that. 

Joel: It's a great song, Jim. I love it too. I sing it to Meggie all the time. 

Connor: He does. 

Joel: So what's your favorite song Blair?

Blair that's not what the question is about. Do we remember hearing our favorite songs on the radio. 

Joel: Yes, I do. Daily. 

Simon: Me too. 

Brown: Me three. 

Rafe: I haven't heard my fave in a long time. I wonder why. Oh yeah, that would be because Henry turned to his fucking station and won't let me listen to rock and roll anymore. 

Everyone burst out laughing. 

Sully: I hear my song all the time and if Simon is with me, I make him sit through it too.

Sam: Dan and I listen to music all the time, so yes, I hear my fave a lot. 

Dan: What is your fave, baby? 

Sam: I'm a Believer, by Smash Mouth. 

Again, everyone burst out laughing. "Hey, I thought it would be perfect for a lawyer."

Jim: That's true. 

Connor: So Blair what is your favorite song?

Blair: Mine is mostly instrumental. Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? By Moby. 

Connor: That sounds sad.

Blair: It is a little, but I love it. 

Simon: I like Jim's better. Are we going to like move on to the next one or what?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.

Sully: I remember that, but it sure doesn't happen much anymore.

Sam: I agree. No stores have half off anymore. 

Simon: I don't shop much.

Jim: Oh you're kidding. (Jim snickers.)

Simon: Jim did I tell you that you're working this weekend?

Jim: Oh fuck you. You can't make me work cuz I piss you off.

Dan: I think he has you on that Simon.

Connor: Okay, back to the question. Don't any of you men remember this?

Jim: I don't shop much. (Snickering again.)

Simon: Oh say it ain't so.

Blair: I remember when I used to find things on sale. 

Dan: I remember, but not lately. 

Rafe: I find things on sale all the time. You just have to know when to shop. 

Brown: I don’t think they shop at your suit store. 

Rafe: Some of them do.

Jim: Which some of them?

Rafe: Fine, I’ll keep my thoughts to myself from now on. 

Simon: Wow, I think we can move on. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Do You Remember 

Connor: Chocolate milkshake.  (or vanilla!) (or strawberry)

Rafe: I have a Chocolate Milkshake every week. Never fails. Henry and I love to go to the ice cream shoppe. 

Brown: I always order Strawberry. That’s my favorite. 

Jim: We both like Chocolate. 

Blair: We do. 

Sully: I love milkshakes. They taste so creamy and good. Vanilla for me. 

Sam: Same here. 

Dan: I love Chocolate, at least once a week.

Joel: Meggie and I both drink Chocolate. But now and then we try a strawberry one. 

Simon: Same here. Do we all go to Teddy’s for ice cream? We should meet there once a week. 

Jim: That’s where we go. 

Dan: Same here.

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: We’re all on for Sunday night, with our kids. How does that sound?

Simon: What time?

Brown: 7:00 is good for us. How about everyone else. 

Dan: Sounds good to me. 

Simon: Works for us. 

Jim: Works for us. 

Blair: What he said. 

Rafe: I can’t wait. 

Brown: If you stand us up and you get a smack on Monday.

Sully: Ooohhhh. I like the smacking talk. 

Sam: Simon, get that woman under control. 

Simon: I’m trying. Now could we move on, Connor? 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: A long distance phone call.

Jim: What does this one mean? We all remember long distance calls. 

Blair: Maybe it means with the Internet, you don’t need to call long distance any longer. Do you suppose? 

Joel: I think you might be right. We all send email messages and keep in touch that way. 

Sully: I talk to my family out of town, on IM. It’s wonderful. So I rarely make a long distance call. 

Simon: I make long distance calls a lot, because I hate the computer, most of the time. Unless I have Sandburg there to fix it for me. (Snickering.)

Sam: I use the Internet. 

Dan: I call people on the good old fashioned phone. 

Rafe: I make a lot of long distance phone calls and also play with the computer. 

Brown: I have a big family, so I have a huge long distance bill every month. 

Rafe: Tell me about it. 

Brown: You complaining?

Rafe: A little. We have to spend too much on phone calls.

Brown: Fuck you. We? I spend too much. You don’t. 

Rafe: I thought we were doing this together. 

Brown: I don’t even want to look at you, let alone live with you. (Jumps up and leaves.)

Jim: Okay, what was that about?

Rafe: We had some trouble earlier and he’s pissed off at me. 

Blair: What trouble, Brian?

Rafe: It’s nothing. And it’s personal. 

Blair: Want me to go and talk to him?

Rafe: No, we’ll work it out.

After awhile everyone realized that Henry wasn’t coming back. 

Jim got up and walked to the restroom. He was hoping he could make it one fucking evening without having to run in here and talk someone out of it. Sighing, he opened the door and found it empty. 

Jim walked outside and found Henry leaning on their SUV. “Hey H. What cha doing out here all by yourself?”

“Jim, there is nothing to fix, we had a fight and I don’t know if I want to stay with him. But there is nothing you can do to help. Sorry.” Henry never looked at Jim once. 

Jim pulled him into his arms and said, “What happened?”

“He met someone while he was at that special training seminar.”

“What do you mean, he met someone?” Jim was instantly pissed off at Rafe. 

“You have to promise you won’t say a word to anyone, Jim. Promise?”

“I promise, Henry. Now tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s a woman. And he’s thinking about dating her and seeing how it goes.” Henry looked heartbroken. 

“Seeing how it goes? Well I can tell him how it’ll go. He’s going to be fucking dead is how it will go.” Jim started pacing in the parking lot while ranting. 

Rafe walked out into the parking lot and said, “You best not have mentioned any of our private business to Ellison.”

“Hey Rafe, when you leave Henry, who gets Lancy?” Jim yelled. 

Rafe yelled right back, “Fuck you Ellison. Mind your own business. Henry, come back in and we’ll discuss this later.”

“No, I want to know now if I’m going to have a partner tomorrow or not.” Henry said sadly. 

Jim was still standing there and he said, “I’m thinking of being bi for a while. We’ll work it out, H.”

Brown walked up to the door and said, “I’m saying goodbye to everyone and then I’ll be out of your way. Don’t come home. You’re not welcome in our home anymore. And Lancy will stay with me. But you can see her from time to time. And by the way, I hate you.” Tears were pouring down his face and then he decided to just go home. 

“Henry, come on. We’ll work this out.” Rafe was trying to sweet talk him. It wasn’t working. 

“Bri, are you going to be sleeping with this woman?”

“I think so.” Rafe answered. 

“Then everything won’t be all right. I want a life with a man that loves me.” Brown got into his SUV and started it up. 

“Henry, don’t you leave me here. Give me a ride at least to pick up my vehicle and some clothes.” Rafe sounded angry now. 

“Fuck you.” And Brown drove off.

Jim walked into the Pub and had everyone ask where the boys were. 

“Well, Rafe is on his way in and Brown left. They’re fighting. So just leave it.” Jim looked totally disgusted with Rafe, when he came walking in. 

They all started talking to him at once and Jim sat back and listened. Suddenly Rafe’s heartbeat sped up and Jim followed his line of sight. There was a lovely looking woman standing there at the bar. So this is Henry’s rival. Jim felt so old. She was gorgeous and was easily going to win Rafe’s heart. // Fuck. //

“Are we going to start this or not?” Simon asked. 

Jim went to the restroom and called Brown. “Henry, you have to come back now. She’s here.”

“You’re kidding?” H asked. 

“No, turn around and come back. Okay?” Jim asked. 

“Be there in five.” Brown turned on a dime and was on his way back to Sullivan’s. 

Jim sat down and had barely pulled his chair up and Henry came through the door. “Sorry everyone. I was having a little hissy fit. Sorry babe.” Brown leaned in and kissed Rafe soft and passionately. Rafe started to pull away, but Brown didn’t let him. 

In a whisper, Brown said, “Bri, you know how you want to do some new things at home for sex? Well I’m open to those.”

Brown’s hand was lying on Rafe’s lap and Brown felt Rafe’s cock get hard instantly when he mentioned that. 

Then Rafe whispered, “And what if I want you to be with someone else and me?”

“I can’t share Bri.” Brown kissed him hard this time. 

“Connor, get this show back on the road.” Simon ordered. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: A bubble bath.

Jim: I’ve never had a bubble bath. I don’t think. 

Blair: Then you don’t remember. (snickered.) I take bubble baths when Jim is off saving the world without me. He never gets home in time to see me.

Jim: You’re so full of shit, babe.

Simon: I’ve never had one either. 

Sully: But do you remember them? 

Simon: Well of course I do. You take them all the time. 

Sully: There you go.

Rafe: I don’t take bubble baths. (He was looking around the bar, trying to find the woman)

Brown: I’ve taken a couple. 

Rafe: When?

Brown: So that I would smell nice for you.

Rafe: Really?

Dan: I take them with Sam. 

Sam: He does. 

Joel: I take them with Meggie too. 

A young girl walked over to the table and put her hand out to Simon and said, “Captain Banks? My name is Marsha Miller. I met Brian Rafe at the seminar and he told me all about this survey thingy and I wanted to see how it went. Is that all right?”

“Not really. We’re pretty private and we say things we don’t want repeated. Sorry.” Simon shook her hand and almost pushed her from the table. 

Jim had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. 

Simon glared at Rafe and said, “That’s why you’re fighting with Henry? You want a piece of ass? Is that it? I can’t believe you would do that to Henry.” 

“It’s not what you think. I haven’t done anything.” Rafe said trying to defend himself. 

“Henry are you all right?” Joel asked worriedly. 

“I’m fine and please don’t be angry with him. He doesn’t have to love me.” Brown said sniffling. 

“Henry, I do love you. I’ve always loved you.” Rafe was the one sniffling now. 

“Bri, I want you to make your choice. Go and be with her if you have to.” Brown didn’t mean it, but knew it had to be said. 

“I’ll be back tonight, Henry. I just need to talk to her.” Rafe stood up and everyone glared at him. 

Rafe walked up to the woman and she kissed him deeply as they walked towards the door. Brown knew he wasn’t going to have him again. // fuck //

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Does anyone remember giggling?

Jim: Blair was giggling at the beginning if you think back.

Blair: I was. I remember. 

Simon: I don’t giggle. 

Sully: Do you remember giggling? There is a difference. 

Simon: Yes, I do remember. 

Sam: I remember and do it often. 

Dan: Same here. 

Joel: We do it a lot with our little girl. (Beaming)

Brown: I giggle with Lancy all the time. She could make anyone giggle. (also beaming)

Simon: I think we could move this along Connor.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: A good conversation.

Jim: Blair and I have good ones all the time. I love when he talks. 

Simon: But do you talk too?

Jim: I think I do. Do I, Blair?

Blair: Yup, you give great conversation. 

Everyone laughed. 

Dan: We always have a great talk before we go to bed. 

Sam: It’s like verbal foreplay. 

Everyone laughed once more. 

Joel: Meggie and I always talk too. 

Simon: Sully and I have good talks almost every night. 

Sully: We do, I love catching up on everyone and everything. 

Brown: I can’t go to sleep until I’ve heard his voice for a certain period of time. (Looking so lost and sad, he got up and rushed to the restroom.)

Joel walked in after Brown and saw the man sobbing before him. “Come here, Henry.” Joel put his loving arms around Henry and just made him feel treasured. Joel just held him until Henry calmed down and then they cleaned his face off and walked back out to the room. 

“Sorry everyone. I’m just being a big wuss. I think I’m going to go home.” Brown grabbed his jacket and Jim said, “I’ll give you a ride.”

“OH shit, I don’t have a car here. Well I’ll wait till we’re done, Jim.” 

Simon growled, “Are we done Connor?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Just a few more, sir. Does anyone remember, The beach 

Simon: Well that’s just stupid. 

Sully: Do you remember going to the beach for fun, Simon?

Simon: Of course I do. 

Sully: Then it’s not silly. I remember too. 

Brown: I love the beach. But it’s been awhile since I went. I need to take Lancy. 

Jim: I love the beach too and I’ll never forget it. 

Blair: He won’t, he talks about it all the time. I like it too. 

Dan: I love the beach. 

Sam: Me too. 

Joel: Well Meggie we need to make a date for the beach. 

Connor: Sounds good to me, honey bear. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Laughing at yourself.

Jim: Connor, we all laugh at you. 

Connor: Seriously, do you take yourself to seriously, or do you laugh sometimes. 

Jim: I laugh a lot of times. And if I don’t, Blair reminds me when I need to. 

Blair: I laugh at myself all the time. I crack myself up. 

Brown: I laugh at myself too. 

Dan: I know that I do. 

Simon: I must be too serious. I don’t laugh at myself. 

Sully: You could use a little loosening up. 

Jim: (Laughing) Need any help with that?

Simon: Very funny. 

Sam: I laugh at myself daily and like Blair, I crack myself up. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Running through sprinklers.

Jim: I remember. (grins widely.)

Blair: What are sprinklers? Not the kind on the ceiling?

Simon: I think we need to kick his ass. I remember. 

Sully: I don’t. 

Sam: Oh you do too. 

Sully: Fine, I remember. 

Joel: I used to love to run through them. 

Dan: I remember them. 

Sam: So do I honey. 

Brown: I don’t remember. Sorry everyone. 

No one had the heart to yell at him. So they let it drop. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

Jim: I do that all the time. 

Blair: Me too. 

Brown: Me three. 

Simon: Shit, I hate this. Me four. 

Sully: Me five. 

Sam: Me six. 

Dan: Me seven. 

Joel: Me eight. 

Simon: Okay, we’re done with the counting, can we move on?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

Jim: Blair tells me all the time. I don’t see it, but he still says it. 

Blair: You are beautiful, babe. And Jim tells me all the time. 

Brown: Rafe used to tell me that. Things will change now, but he did love me. I have to remember those wonderful things. 

Simon: (growling) Sully tells me all the time. 

Sully: And Simon tells me. 

Dan: Sam finds beauty in everyone and everything. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my life. 

Sam: Dan you are beautiful. And thank you for telling me again. 

Joel: Meggie says this to me. I love when she does. 

Connor: I love when Joel tells me too. It does wonders for my ego. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Friends.

Jim: Never forget them. 

Blair: Same here. 

Joel: I love having friends. 

Connor: Same here. 

Simon: Friends are the most important thing in your life. 

Sully: Loving them is the second most important. (smiling)

Sam: I love all of our friends. 

Dan: I don’t. I only like Sam. (Laughs hard.) Seriously, I love you all. 

Brown: I love our friends too and I hope that you’ll all love Brian no matter what.

Jim: I’m not gonna.

Blair: Really mature Jim. 

Simon: Connor could we move this baby along. 

Connor: We’re done. Why don’t you put a cork in it. 

Everyone burst out laughing. They all left and said goodbye to each other. Brown rode with Jim and Blair. 

As they pulled up in front of Browns house they all saw Rafe’s SUV parked in the driveway. 

“Want us to come in, Henry?” Jim asked. 

“No, I think we’ll need to talk.” Henry got out and walked to the front door, pausing only long enough to wave to the guys. 

“He looks scared to death.” Blair said. 

“It’s a scary thought thinking your man won’t be coming back.” Blair could hear the pain in Jim’s voice. 

“I’m sorry babe. I really am.” Blair had thought he needed to be away from Jim. He knew he’d hurt him, but didn’t know it still hurt him. 

“Not a big deal, Baby. Let’s get home and remind each other what we do mean to the other one.” Jim drove a little bit over the speed limit to get home sooner. 

They sent Linda home and showered for their evening of passion. 

They had no sooner gotten out of the shower and in the bed when the phone rang. Jim picked it up and snarled, “Ellison.”

“Jim, he picked me. He fucking picked me. And he never even wanted to have sex to make the decision.” Jim could hear Brown’s racing heartbeat. 

“So why do you seem upset?” Jim asked quietly. 

“I’m not upset, he just got done fucking my brains out and I can’t breathe yet.” Brown was totally thrilled. 

“I’m glad to hear it, H.” 

“Will you tell Blair for us? And Jim, will you be happy for me?” Brown needed that more than anything. 

“You got it. I’ll tell him right now. Call the others. They were worried about you.” Jim suggested. 

“Okay, I’ll do that now. Thanks for your friendship, Jim. I love you.”

“I love you back, Henry. Now go and make those calls.” Jim hung the phone up with a big smile on his face. 

“He chose Henry?” Blair asked cuddling up to Jim. 

“Yup.”

“I hope he doesn’t fuck it up.”

“It’s their life, Chief.”

“You’re happy aren’t you?” Blair asked with a smile in his voice. 

“I’m fucking thrilled. That’s what life should be like. Now, come here and let me show you how life should be like in our home.”

Things were never dull at Sullivan’s Pub or everyone’s homes. Thank god for that. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 45


	46. Cards You Would or Wouldn't Buy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cards you would or wouldn’t buy. Some of these are pretty darn funny. Silliness abounds. 
> 
> Warnings: m/m There be nudity here. LOL Use your imagination.   
> (And keep in mind my hormones are in overdrive, so I think of nothing but sex.)

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 46  
Cards You Would or Wouldn’t Buy  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 04/23/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Thank you to Amy for all of the Ammo!

Summary: Cards you would or wouldn’t buy. Some of these are pretty darn funny. Silliness abounds. 

Warnings: m/m There be nudity here. LOL Use your imagination.   
(And keep in mind my hormones are in overdrive, so I think of nothing but sex.) ======================================================  
Sullivan’s Pub Part 46  
Cards You Would or Wouldn’t Buy  
Patt

 

Connor was so excited about tonight’s survey. It was going to be fun. Maybe just funny. When everyone arrived, they all went into the Survey room and got comfortable. 

“Hi everyone. I wanted to tell you about tonight’s subject.” Connor began. 

“If you have to explain it, I don’t want to do it.” Simon growled. 

“Simon, we’re going to have fun.” Sully snapped. 

“Get started, Ms. Connor.” Simon said sharply. 

“Tonight we will be talking about, Cards you would buy and wouldn’t. Tell us if you think they suck, if they rock, if you’d buy them or whatever. Just have fun.” Connor smiled as she sat down. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: I thought that I could love no other  
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Jim: Oh that is low. 

Blair: Not really, Steven is very nice looking. He likes me too.

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg.

Brown: And I get the prize. I said that Jim would do it in five minutes. I win. What do I win, Connor? 

Connor: Nothing.

Brown: Bummer. 

Rafe: I think this card would suck too. 

Brown: Oh, so would I.

Joel: Same here. 

Simon: I would never buy a card like that. 

Sully: I think it’s more of a woman card, don’t you all think? 

Jim: You calling us women?

Everyone laughs their ass off. 

Sam: I think it’s a woman or gay mans card too. 

Dan: I think it sucks for either. 

Blair: But again, I say, if that brother is hot, go for it.

Jim: Sandburg, shut the fuck up. 

Simon: Hey, he’s allowed to have an opinion. Grow up, Ellison. Now would be a good time to move on, Connor.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.  
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the  
sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Jim: (Falling off his chair laughing.) I love this one.

Blair: You would buy this one for me?

Jim: No you doofus. I mean it’s funny. 

Sam: It’s a riot. God, I can’t stop laughing.

Dan: So I’m not going to get this card am I?

Sam: Not hardly. 

Simon: I think it’s stupid. 

Sully: (trying to stop laughing) I do too honey.

Simon: Somehow I don’t think you mean that. 

Rafe: I love this one. I want a copy Connor. 

Connor: Will do, boss. 

Brown: I think it’s funny too. 

Joel: Meggie, I hope you don’t plan on using this for me.

Connor: I can’t believe you would even ask.

Joel: Just checking. (smiles at his love.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Of loving beauty you float with grace  
If only you could hide your face.

 

Jim: I could see a murder happening with this one.

Joel: I could too, Jim. This is horrible. 

Blair: But funny. 

Jim: It’s not funny, it’s horrible. 

Blair: Then why am I giggling?

Simon: Because you’re an idiot?

Jim: Simon, that was uncalled for.

Blair: I can defend myself, Jim. I’m not an idiot. I choose to act this way. 

Brown: That’s our Hairboy. Acting his own way. I myself think this card would suck. 

Rafe: I agree with my man. 

Sam: Now who is your man?

Rafe: Very funny. 

Brown: So tell them.

Rafe: Henry, Henry he’s my man. He can suck me like no one can. 

Simon: Well I could have gone all night long without hearing that. Geeze. 

Dan: I liked that little poem. Connor maybe you should add it to the list.

Connor: I’m taking notes as fast as I can. 

Sully: I just want you all to know that if I got this card, I would kill someone. 

Blair: The person that sent it to you, or just anyone?

Everyone breaks out into laughter. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: Kind, intelligent, loving and hot  
This describes everything you are not.

 

Jim: This is just plain mean. 

Blair: Yes, it is. But fucking funny. (falls out of chair laughing)

Joel: I agree Jim. It’s mean. 

Rafe: I don’t think it’s so much mean, as just stupid. 

Brown: Now you sound like Simon. 

Simon: You think I sound stupid?

Brown: No, you always say that.

Simon: Say what?

Rafe: I’m getting a fucking headache. 

Simon: I’ve never said that here.

Rafe: Can I scream right now?

Joel: I think we all should.

Dan: I think this card would be mean and I don’t even have a fucking headache. 

Sam: I’m going to give you a fucking headache.

Dan: That’s her code-word for sex. 

Again laughter rings out. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: I want to feel your sweet embrace  
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

Jim: (Howling) Okay, I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry. This if fucking funny. 

Blair: Are you saying I need a paper bag on my face?

Jim: Not even close, baby.

Simon: Oh god, he’s starting with the baby talk. 

Joel: That wasn’t baby talk, Simon. 

Simon: I mean, he’s calling him baby.

Joel: If he called me baby, everyone would wonder what was going on. 

Simon: God, I just give up right now. 

Blair: You give up? You’re going to be forced to wear one of those paper bags?

Simon: I’m going to kick you ass. 

Jim: No one goes near his ass but me. 

Joel: I go near his ass a lot, don’t I Blair? 

Blair: You sure do. 

Jim: Now I’m going to kick your ass, Sandburg.

Rafe: Why are you always wanting to beat on your man. 

Brown: Now who is your man again, Ellison. 

Jim: (rolls his eyes) Sandburg, Sandburg, he’s my man. He can fuck me better than anyone can.

Blair: Oh I like that. 

Dan: Hell, I liked that. 

Sam: I did too. 

Sully: Maybe we need to see an example. You can show us just how much better he can fuck than anyone else. 

Simon: Sully, have you lost your mind? Don’t even get them going. The next thing we’ll have is Blair fucking Jim on the table.

Blair: Now what exactly about that would bother you, Simon?

Simon: I can’t stand the idea that Jim lets you take him. 

Jim: Take me where?

Simon: Take you.

Jim: I still don’t know where he’s supposed to be taking me. 

Simon: Sully, this is the type of thing that happens. It gets turned around and can get very ugly. 

Blair: Who’s ugly?

Jim: Are you saying my ass is ugly?

Simon: NO, you have a perfectly lovely ass, Ellison. And so do you Sandburg. Geeze. (Rolls eyes to the back of his head.)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: I love your smile, your face, and your eyes  
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Jim: Well at least this one isn’t as bad as the others. 

Blair: Jim, he’s lying. What makes that better?

Jim: Oh yeah. Sorry. 

Blair: You better be big boy. 

Joel: I think this is just awful. 

Jim: The survey?

Joel: No, you goofball. 

Blair: The first line?

Joel: The second line. I’m not Simon, leave me alone. 

Simon: Hey. Is that all you have to say? 

Jim: No, there’s a lot more we have to say. The survey isn’t done yet. Geeze, Simon. 

Simon: Sully, remind me again, why I come to these friggin things?

Sully: Because you love everyone and we always have fun. 

Simon: I’m not recognizing fun yet tonight.

Sam: I’m having fun. 

Dan: Me too.

Rafe: Me three. 

Brown: Me four. 

Connor: But what did you think of the card?

Sam: It sucked. 

Dan: Agreed. 

Rafe: It seemed so nice that it almost took you off guard. 

Brown: I liked the first line a lot. Then I wanted to punch the writer for the second one. 

Jim: Who did write these?

Blair: I think Connor said she and Simon did them. 

Everyone burst out laughing and fell out of their chairs. All it took was the look on Simon’s face. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:  
Marrying you screwed up my life.

 

Jim: Well I could send this one to Carolyn, eh? 

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison. 

Jim: I was teasing, Blair. 

Rafe: Wouldn’t work for us, Henry. 

Brown: You think I screwed up your life? 

Rafe: No, I said it wouldn’t work for us. 

Brown: Oh. Sorry. 

Rafe: I love you.

Simon: You’re both wusses. This would work for my first wife. 

Sully: But you’re calling her nice things, Simon. I’m your wife. I’m the only one that gets to hear nice things from you.

Jim: Boy, that’s the truth. 

Simon: What? What do you mean by that?

Jim: Well you never say anything nice to anyone but Sully. 

Simon: Oh bullshit. I tell you nice things all the time. (Simon gets up and walks into the infamous restroom.)

Jim: I’ll be right back. Sorry Sully. 

Sully: Just bring him back. 

Jim walked into the rest room and found Simon leaning against the wall looking terribly sad. 

“Simon, I’m sorry. I had no right to say that to you.” Jim rubbed Simon’s back as he talked to him. 

Then Jim was standing in front of Simon and just trying to calm him down when Simon leaned down and kissed Jim softly. Neither man pulled away. Simon pulled Jim into his space and the kiss deepened. 

Jim pulled away and said, “Simon, we’ll both be sorry.”

“Do you ever think about it, Jim?”

“Yeah, I did, prior to meeting Blair. But I love Blair more than life itself. So I won’t screw that up for anything.”

Jim was still in Simon’s space and could feel the heat pouring off of Simon’s body. Then there was that hard cock that Jim couldn’t help but feel. Jim didn’t go closer, but he didn’t leave either. 

Simon pulled Jim closer and began to kiss him with more passion. Jim knew he had to stop this now. “Simon. Please. I have to leave now.”

“Jim, please let me suck you.” Simon looked like he was going to go down on him but Jim moved faster. 

“I’m sorry Simon. I have to leave. Please come back out and don’t tell Sully. Okay?” Jim was worried about that. 

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.” Simon went into a stall and Jim could hear him whacking off. 

Jim went back to the survey room after he made a stop at the bar. He needed all the time he could get to get rid of the boner he was sporting. 

He walked in and everyone watched him like a hawk. Simon was sitting at the table looking guilty. 

Simon: Connor, why not start the next one?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: I see your face when I am dreaming  
That's why I always wake up screaming.

 

Jim: This would be a funny one to give to someone you really hate at work or something. 

Blair: You hate someone at work this much?

Jim: No, just an example. 

Sully: Speaking of example’s Jim; we’re dying to know what male/male sex is like. We’d love to see it and not on a stupid porno video. What would you think of us watching Blair fuck you?

Jim: I don’t think it would be a good idea. 

Simon: I think it might be helpful. 

Jim: (Glaring at Simon) I disagree. 

Dan: I like the idea too. We have our own room here and we’re all friends, right?

Joel: Exactly. We’re all friends and should be able to do whatever we want in front of the others. 

Sam: What do you think about it, Blair?

Blair: Well, I love fucking him, so I’m game all the time.

Rafe: I think it’s a good idea. 

Brown: Me too. 

Jim: I think we should ask Rafe and Brown to be the examples. 

Sully: No, that won’t work because now I have you and Blair in my mind. 

Jim: We’re not fucking for you to watch. 

Blair: (whispering) I want to. I want them to see what I do for you. Are you ashamed?

Jim: (whispering back) Never ashamed. I don’t want everyone to see us naked.

Simon: So stop with the whispering and make up your mind. 

Jim: Fine. When this is over with.

Connor: Oh My God! I can’t believe this. Jim, you have no idea how hot and horny this will make us all.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: My love you take my breath away  
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

Jim: I wouldn’t send this one to an enemy. 

Blair: Same here.

Joel: It’s dreadful. 

Sully: I agree. I can’t wait to see live sex. 

Jim: This is why I don’t want to do it. (Blushing)

Blair: Calm down, babe. 

Simon: I think that’s a hideous card too. 

Rafe: Terrible. 

Brown: Horrible. 

Dan: I agree. 

Sam: With who?

Dan: All of them. 

Sam: In that case, so do I. 

Simon: Time to move on.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: My feelings for you no words can tell  
Except for maybe "go to hell".

Jim: This one would work for a co-worker or even ‘boss’.

Blair: (laughing) It sure could. 

Simon: Are you saying this one suits me?

Jim: You never know. 

Connor: Well I think that sometimes you’re a butthead and we want to send a card. But we don’t. (laughing)

Joel: That’s true. But isn’t that true about almost everyone?

Sam: I think so. 

Dan: I would never send that card to anyone. 

Sam: That’s because you’re a friggin angel, darlin. 

Sully: Well I don’t see this as Simon at all. But I know that I don’t have to work with him. 

Simon: Excuse me, I’m still in the room. 

Jim: Time to move to the next one. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor: What inspired this amorous rhyme?  
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Jim: Now, this one I could send. 

Blair: You’re such a doofus. 

Jim: But I’m your doofus. 

Joel: I would send this also. 

Sam: So would I. 

Dan: Me too. 

Rafe: Me three. 

Brown: Me four. 

Sully: Me five. 

Simon: Me six. Wow, another that we all agree with. Next?

“That was it, everyone.” Megan put everything in her briefcase and zipped it up. 

Blair looked over and saw Jim shaking and leaned into him and whispered, “Jim, I want you to fuck me.”

“I can do that Chief.” Jim stood up, already hard, with the pressure off of him now and asked, “Does anyone have any lotion?”

Connor threw a bottle down to the end of the table. Jim walked over and locked the door to be sure no one would come in. He then lowered the blinds so that no one from the parking lot could see in. 

Everyone pushed away from the table and just sat and waited. All of the men were hard already. Jim could see them stroking softly as they waited. 

Jim took all of his clothing off and stood there naked, and very fucking hard, standing up proudly. Then he helped Blair get undressed. They both stood naked and in each others arms, and Jim began preparing Blair for his cock. 

“Jim, I’d like to sit on your lap and have you fuck me that way.” Blair whispered sweetly. 

Jim sat down and pulled Blair down to his lap and eased him slowly onto Jim’s cock. As soon as he was all the way in, Blair leaned back, relaxed and let Jim take over. He was fucking him very softly, so they could last a long while. As he fucked, he fisted Blair’s cock gently at first until Blair started to beg. 

When the begging started Jim looked around and saw all of their friends fucking their wives or men. Jim then began to fist Blair with much more speed. Blair was moaning, panting and begging. Jim couldn’t hold off much longer. 

“Baby, I need to give you my load. Ready?” Jim asked out loud. 

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and watched. 

“Yes, make me come Jim. Make me come.”

Jim bent down and bit Blair’s neck as he shoved his cock up harder and harder. Blair came screaming Jim’s name. Jim felt like Blair had never come that much in the entire time Jim had been fucking him. Thinking aside, Jim needed to come now too. He howled out Blair’s name and shot his seed into Blair’s tight channel. 

As they cooled down, they watched their friends make love. Everyone was naked in the room. Jim got hard again and began to move inside of Blair once more. 

This time was fast and hard. Jim fucked Blair so hard that Blair would be walking funny for a few days. When Blair came he again, screamed Jim’s name. And Jim followed right behind. 

A still naked Joel walked over to Jim and Blair and whispered, “That was wonderful. I loved it. I love both of you.” Then Joel kissed Jim for quite some time. Finally Blair rubbed Joel’s ass to get his attention. 

A beautifully naked Connor walked down and said, “Some day, we’re going to have a partner switch game. We’ll pick a ticket that says who goes with who. But the best part will be we all get to watch.” She kissed Blair and kept kissing him for a good long while. Jim finally touched her breasts gently and made her aware of where she was. “Sorry, guys.”

Jim cleaned he and Blair up and then they got dressed. Jim looked over a few times at Simon. Simon seemed to be staying naked longer than need be. 

This night hadn’t turned out as anyone expected, but it was everything they would hope a night could be. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 46

Thank you again for reading. Come again soon.


	47. Men Are Like...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My cousin in Arizona sent these to me and would just die if he knew what I did with them. 
> 
> They all decide on a weekly spotlight couple for sex. No one will have sex with anyone else. They also discuss what men are like. Silliness abounds.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 47  
Men Are Like:  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 04/23/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: My cousin in Arizona sent these to me and would just die if he knew what I did with them. 

Summary: They all decide on a weekly spotlight couple for sex. No one will have sex with anyone else. They also discuss what men are like. Silliness abounds. 

Warnings: m/m There be nudity here. LOL Use your imagination.   
======================================================

Sullivan’s Pub Part 47  
Men Are Like:  
Patt

The week following the sex show at Sullivan’s was very quiet. Jim and Blair figured they had made a large mistake.   
Connor walked up to Jim and said, “Can I speak to you in private?”  
Jim followed her to the Interrogation room and she shut the door. “Jim, tonight is the new Sullivan’s Pub. Joel drew the names and it’s me and you. Now, my question is can we practice before we do it in front of anyone else? Would Blair let you do that? I asked my honey bear and he said that was fine.”  
“Connor, I can’t believe you got all of that out in one breath. What are we doing? Is it a sex club now?” Jim sounded angry.   
“Jim, are you upset about last week, because we all thought it was one of the most beautiful things we had ever seen.”  
“Then how come no one has mentioned it?” Jim wondered aloud.   
“Because they might lose control and jump your bones. I kid you not, Jim, I wanted both of you big time. Now are you in for tonight?” Connor stood with her hands on her hips.   
“Yeah. I have to ask Blair about the practice.” Jim walked out of the room smiling.   
When he took Blair to lunch, he hit him up with what Connor had suggested. “Jim, that’s fine. Have her come to the house after work and that way I can tell you both if it looks good.”  
Jim shook his head when he realized how bizarre this was getting to be. “Thanks Chief.”  
“No need to thank me, I get to watch you fuck Connor. It’ll be worth it.” Blair pulled out his phone and called Connor right then. “Hey Connor, stop by tonight before the Pub and you and Jim can practice.”  
“Thank you, Sandy. You’re a doll baby.” Connor disconnected and went back to work.   
The day flew by, there were actual cases to work on and bad guys to catch. Jim found himself in a constant state of arousal all day long.  
It was finally time to go home and Jim was looking forward to it. While driving home Blair said, “I’m going to shave your body hair nicely. We want everyone to get a fantastic look at your ass.”  
Jim took Blair’s cock out of his pants while he was driving and started to stroke his big Chief. “Jim, we’re going to wreck the SUV.”  
Jim ignored him and continued to fist Blair’s cock. As Blair got closer he said, “Jim, suck my cock now.”  
Jim undid his seat belt and moved over and went down on his partner as Blair shot his come down Jim’s throat. Jim stayed there and began to suck on Blair’s spent cock. Before long, it was coming to life again. This time Blair pulled over and pulled his pants down so that Jim could rub and touch while he sucked him.   
“Jim, tongue me, please?” Blair was begging at this point.   
Jim moved him into the back where the seat was down and went to work on Blair’s ass. Every time he slid his tongue into that sweet precious pucker, Blair was sobbing for release. Jim then began fucking him fast and furious and also pulled on Blair’s cock. Blair came with a scream of Jim’s name.   
Jim cleaned him up and said, “Now we need to get home. Our nanny is going to think we’re lost.”   
“I am lost. I’m so fucking in love with you, man.” Blair kissed him and they cuddled.   
“Want me to do you, babe?” Blair asked.   
“No, I better save myself for when Connor comes. I don’t want my cock to be a no show.” Jim laughed, but it scared him.   
After dinner, Blair shaved all body hair off of Jim’s body that didn’t belong there. He looked perfect. Then Jim stepped in the shower.   
While Blair was cleaning the kitchen Connor and Joel arrived. “Hey, come on in.” Blair opened the door and welcomed them.   
“Where’s Jim?” Connor asked nervously.   
“In the shower. Actually, out. He just shut the water off. Go ahead on in, Connor.” Blair pushed her towards their room.   
Joel said, “Want to watch some tv to take our minds off of it?”  
Fifteen minutes later, the bedroom door opened and Connor and Jim walked out smiling. Joel looked at Blair and whispered, “Is he that fast?”  
Blair burst out laughing and said, “I would say they decided against it.”  
“Thank god.” Joel said softly.   
Jim walked up to them and said, “Joel, why would you allow your wife to practice something that you don’t want her to do?”  
“Because I figured it might make her happy.”  
“Same here, Joel. Don’t feel lonely.” Blair said.  
“You didn’t want me to do this and you let me anyhow?” Jim inquired.   
“You looked like it was making you hot, so I figured you needed a woman.” Blair hung his head.   
“I’m going to kick your ass later. But first I’ll kiss it, lick it, suck it and then fuck it.” Jim pulled him into his arms and they both just held on tight.   
“Meggie, I don’t want you with anyone else. We can fantasize all we want, but let’s just keep it between you and me. Okay?” Joel kissed her softly and waited for her reply.  
“Works for me, honey bear. I love the way you love me. So that was never a problem anyhow. Who is going to tell everyone?” Connor looked at Jim.   
“Okay, I say we pick a couple each week and they’ll be the spotlight couple. But we can all make love to our mates. What do you think?” Jim thought it might work.   
“It worked last week. I like it.” Joel said smiling.   
After Linda arrived, the boys left for Sullivan’s. Both were looking forward to it. Connor had told them it was a bash men night. Those usually were pretty damn funny.   
When they got there, everyone talked at once asking why things had been changed. So Jim discussed everything with them and then went on to mention that they would still have a spotlight couple each week and everyone could have sex while in the room. Once they heard that, it seemed to make them happy.   
Joel said, “Okay, the spotlight couple tonight is Sully and Simon. So you two get to be our entertainment once the Survey is done.”  
“I’m not sure how I feel about this.” Simon said quickly.   
“You felt great about it last week. So let’s keep it that way.” Jim patted him on the back and whispered, “I can’t wait to see you lick her, suck her and fuck her.”  
Simon almost choked on his own saliva. “Ellison, I’m going to kick your ass.”  
“Okay, ,everyone we’ve got a survey to take care of. Ready?” Connor called out, wearing a huge smile.   
“Hit it.” Jim said laughing.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: These are all jokes about Men are like? So here we go. First one. Men are like ... Laxatives ...They irritate the poop out of you.   
Jim: Falls out of his chair laughing. I would say shit.   
Blair: I know I do when I talk about you.   
Jim: Very funny. I was talking about other men.   
Blair: You sleep with other men?  
Simon: Knock it off right now, you two. Okay, I think this is terrible. Sully, do I irritate you?  
Sully: DUH! What do you think Simon?   
Joel: I think we all irritate our mates. I mean, take Jim and Blair. They’re both men, and they both irritate each other. So don’t feel lonely, Simon.   
Simon: I don’t feel fucking lonely.   
Rafe: I know I irritate Henry. Sorry babe.   
Brown: It’s okay, Bri. You don’t bug me at all.   
Sam: Now is that St. Henry, or just plain Henry?  
Everyone laughed.   
Dan: Do I bug you, Sam?   
Sam: Sometimes, but you make up for it, so I don’t mind.   
Dan: Good. Glad to hear it.  
Simon: Looks like a good time to move on, Connor.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.   
Joel: Is this true, Meggie?  
Connor: Not hardly.   
Joel: You just said not hard.   
Connor: Okay, you’re harder and firmer than anyone I’ve ever been with.   
Rafe: She did tell you she was a virgin, right?  
Joel: Shove it, Brian.   
Brown: Hey, don’t abuse my man.   
Jim: So is this true, Chief?  
Blair: Not even close.   
Simon: How about in our household, Sully?   
Sully: You mean you do it in other households? Who are you doing it with and why wasn’t I invited?   
Simon: God, it’s impossible to carry on a conversation with any of you. Sully, am I firm enough for you?  
Sully: (reaching over and touching his cock) Honey, he’s not at his best right now.   
Simon: Have I mentioned how much I hate all of you?  
Sully: Baby, you are always firm for me. Sometimes too firm. Simon can fuck forever.   
Simon: Sully, don’t tell people that.  
Sully: Sorry. He can’t really.   
Everyone laughed.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Vacations ... They never seem to be long enough.  
Jim: Figures. A fucking size queen question. (sighs) I’m thinking that Blair probably thinks this a lot.   
Blair: I do not. Your cock is perfect. It fits me just fine.   
Joel: Now I have to say, from last weeks little show, it did seem to fit him well. And Jim, you know how to work it well too.   
Jim: Thanks, Joel. Thanks, baby.   
Simon: Stop calling him baby.   
Jim: Who?  
Simon: How many people do you call baby?  
Jim: I don’t tell you what to call Sully.   
Simon: Because I would never call her baby in public. Geeze.   
Rafe: I hate those size questions too. I always think I’m not big enough for H.   
Brown: (mouth hanging open) You’re joking, right? You have a gorgeous cock and it’s a perfect size.   
Rafe: You really think so?  
Brown: I know so. I love you.   
Rafe: I love you baby.   
Simon: See Jim? Now you have Rafe calling poor Brown baby.  
Jim: He’s always called him Baby. It’s not my fault.   
Dan: Well I call Sam Baby in public and private. So I don’t care what anyone thinks.   
Sam: He doesn’t. And I for one am thrilled to death that he doesn’t worry about what folks are thinking.   
Sully: I call Simon baby, but only in private.   
Simon: (growling) Not anymore.  
Sully: I’m going to stop talking if you don’t clean your act up.   
Simon: Might be the best thing. (Now glaring)  
Sully: Fuck you. I’m sitting by someone else.   
Simon: Might be time to move on, Connor.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.  
Sully: Is this true or what?   
Simon: Fuck you, Sully.   
Sully: Nope, I want someone else to fuck me tonight.  
Simon just sat there and fumed because Sully was making goo goo eyes at Jim. Then he wondered what in the hell was goo goo.   
Jim: I think this is very true. I always tell Blair I’m too old to change.   
Blair: And I keep telling him, change will do you good.   
Dan: Well I change all the time. I’m a very open person.   
Sam: He is and he’s open to most suggestions.   
Joel: Me too.   
Rafe: I’m not too open to changes. Sorry about that Henry.   
Brown: You were open to the biggest one, so that’s all I cared about.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.   
Sully: Well that’s just mean.   
Simon: You mean that you really love me?  
Sully: DUH! Simon, I adore you. Can I sit with you again?  
Simon: Get your sweet butt over here.  
Jim: I think this ones mean too.   
Blair: I don’t. I can’t figure out what I keep you around for. Oh yeah, it’s the hot sex. (giggles)  
Jim: You’re going to pay for that later.   
Blair: I’m counting on it.  
Rafe: I keep Henry around for the very same thing.   
Blair: Making great breakfast?  
Everyone laughs.   
Brown: I think that was a mean statement and I want to talk to the person who wrote it.  
Sam: Well when you find them, tell us. I think it sucked too.   
Dan: Thanks, baby.   
Joel: I know why Meggie keeps me around.   
Connor: Why?  
Joel: Because sometimes you need something to suck on to get to sleep. (laughs loudly.)  
Connor: Very funny. True, but funny.   
Simon: It might be time to move along.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.   
Jim: (falls out of his chair laughing.)  
Blair: You okay, there old man? This is so true.   
Joel: It is.   
Simon: I think I have to agree with you all on this one.   
Rafe: I love this. Connor, I need a copy of this one too.   
Connor: Sure enough, boss.  
Joel: Why are you calling him boss? You did last week too.   
Connor: Because at work, he bosses me around, and I never listen. So it’s just a joke.   
Sam: I love this one, Connor. It’s so me and Dan.   
Dan: I know it is. I know you love my chocolate.  
Brown: Well Bri, loves my chocolate too.   
Sully: I know that I love Simon’s chocolate.  
Simon: (blushing) Sully there are some things I don’t want the bullpen to know.   
Sully: I don’t think that’s going to be possible. After tonight.   
Simon: Sully, don’t make me do that. Okay?  
Sully: Fine, I’ll find another partner. (sniffing)  
Simon: Fine.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Coffee ... The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night long.  
Jim: Another one that is very true.   
Blair: Couldn’t agree more. He’s wearing me out.   
Simon: And you’re complaining?  
Blair: No, bragging.  
Joel: I keep Meggie up a lot.   
Connor: That he does.   
Rafe: This is true for us too.   
Brown: Sandburg, I agree with you. Rafe is wearing me out too.   
Simon: And you’re complaining?  
Brown: No, bragging.   
Joel: You keep falling for it, Simon.   
Simon: I know. I took that idiot pill before I came.   
Sully: Simon, you wear me out too.   
Simon: (leans in for a kiss and whispers.) thank you.   
Sully: (Whispering back) Did you think I wouldn’t say anything.  
Simon: Yeah. (More kissing.)  
Dan: I think this is true for us too.   
Sam: Think? I know.   
Simon: Wow, we can move right along, Connor.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.  
Jim: This is not true.   
Blair: Well sometimes it might be.   
Jim: You lie to me?  
Blair: Not big ones. Not bad ones. Just little ones.   
Jim: We’ll talk about it later, Chief.   
Dan: I don’t think all men are liars either, Jim.   
Sam: I don’t either.   
Sully: Simon doesn’t lie to me.   
Simon: No, I don’t.   
Rafe: And I don’t lie to Henry.   
Brown: And I don’t lie to Rafe, usually.   
Rafe: Usually?  
Brown: Now and then I tell little ones. Nothing bad.   
Blair: See, some of us do this.  
Jim: And some of us will talk about it tonight.  
Rafe: Yes, we sure will. (glaring at Brown.)  
Joel: Meggie would kick my ass if I started lying.   
Connor: I surely would.   
Blair: Even if it was a tiny lie? Nothing bad?   
Connor: I don’t know, I would have to think about that.  
Jim: We’ll be doing our thinking later, Chief.   
Blair: Oh shut up. I already know I’m in trouble. Go fuck yourself.   
Simon: Well this one’s going well isn’t it, Connor?  
Connor: It has been and go fuck yourself.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.   
Jim: Is this saying, I like being naked?   
Blair: It’s saying, you love being naked and can’t wait to fuck like bunnies every chance you get. That’s what they’re saying.   
Jim: Yes, I’m like this.   
Simon: We knew that Jim. You’re a slut.   
Jim: But I’m a very nice, considerate and loyal slut.   
Blair: I’m not saying anything nice, because he’s an asshole tonight. He might be loyal, but that might be a friggin lie for all I know.   
Jim: Are you asking me if I fool around on you?  
Blair: No Jim, I’m asking if you’re fooling around on Simon. Yes, me.   
Jim: I can’t believe you’re saying this.   
Blair: Drop it for now.  
Sam: I think that Dan would be naked all the time if he could.   
Dan: I would. I love fucking.   
Sam: He does.   
Dan: I love when she sucks me too.   
Sam: He does.   
Dan: I love the little noises she makes when she comes and drives me over the edge.   
Sam: You do? That’s so hot baby.   
Rafe: As soon as I see Henry, I want to be naked. But with kids it’s harder. So we have to actually wait and do it in the bathroom.   
Everyone breaks out in laughter.   
Brown: I too love to be naked. I go down to Jim and Blair’s that way sometimes.   
Jim: He does not.   
Brown: Sorry, Blair. Didn’t mean to tell on us.   
Blair: It’s okay. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.   
Jim: What are you talking about?   
Blair: See, he doesn’t know. It won’t hurt him.   
Jim: I’m going to smack you upside the head when we get home.   
Blair: Hey everyone. Do you remember the days where Jim would say, I can’t wait to get you home and fuck you silly? Now he wants to hurry home and smack me upside the head.   
Joel: He wouldn’t really, cuz then I would have to smack him.   
Connor: Then it would be my turn.   
Simon: Could we actually move this along?   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like .. Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.   
Blair: (Falling on the floor and rolls around laughing)  
Jim: Well we see it’s true for one of us.   
Rafe: Jim, it’s true for all of us. Women and men.   
Brown: I know it is for me.   
Simon: I was born mature.   
Jim: I think you might have been.   
Blair: (Was getting back in his chair and heard Jim’s remark and fell on the floor again.)  
Jim: Chief, that floor is dirty.   
Sully: Hey, we keep this place clean.   
Jim: Any floor is dirty, Sully.   
Sully: I think that Simon was born mature too.   
Dan: Not me.   
Sam: I think you’re very mature.   
Simon: She wants more sex Dan, don’t listen to her. It’s like a trap.   
Dan: It’s like a fucking dream and I go every chance I want.   
Joel: Meggie, can I have one of those dreams tonight?  
Connor: But of course. Or would that be, butt of course?  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like .. Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.  
Blair: This is so not true. Jim loves when I cry.   
Jim: I do not.   
Blair: Yes you do.   
Jim: Chief, I hate to see you cry.  
Blair: Then why am I always crying?  
Jim: I’m going to kick your sweet ass. (Laughs)  
Joel: I don’t mind seeing Meggie cry, but I always hope it’s something I can help with. I never want her to hurt alone.   
Connor: Honey bear, you are the sweetest man that was ever put on this earth. I love you.   
Joel: I love you too sugar.  
Rafe: I don’t like to see anyone cry.   
Brown: He doesn’t. But he cries well.   
Rafe: I do not.   
Jim: Rafe, there is nothing wrong with crying if you feel bad.   
Rafe: Fine. I cry now and then, but rarely. Tell them, Henry.   
Brown: He rarely cries. But when he does, he does it really well and then it makes me cry and then we’re worse off.   
Jim: You both shut up. You’re yanking our chains aren’t you?  
Rafe: Of course. Your chain is so nice and easy to pull on. Come here big boy and let me yank.   
Simon: Sit down Ellison. He’s yanking it again. Ignore him.   
Sully: Well Simon is really good when I cry. Sometimes he even cries with me.   
Simon: Sully, did you have to tell them that?  
Sully: Yes, I thought it was important.   
Sam: I don’t cry real often, but if I do, I try to do it around Dan. He’s really easy to cry with.   
Simon: So does he cry with you?  
Sam: Not usually. He’s not much on crying unless someone he knows is hurt. When things have happened around here with all of you, we go home and cry together.   
Dan: I do. I don’t think it makes you less manly to cry. Believe me.   
Simon: Connor, we could move on if you would stop crying.   
Connor: Oh shut up.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.   
Sam: Oh this is so untrue. Dan just keeps doing it until I’m almost dead.   
Dan: I do.   
Sully: Same with Simon. He fucks me so nicely that I could do it three times every single night.   
Simon: I’m glad one of us could. (sighing)  
Connor: Joel keeps me very satisfied. I have no complaints.   
Joel: Honey bear, it’s easy to do when my wife is as beautiful as you.   
Rafe: Get me a bucket.   
Brown: I thought it was so damn sweet. I feel that way about Rafe.   
Rafe: You feel like you need a bucket?   
Brown: Smartass, (Breaking into song)   
Do you remember when we met  
That's the day I knew you were my pet  
I want to tell you how much I love you  
Come with me, my love  
To the sea, the sea of love  
I want to tell you how much I love you

Come with me, to the sea of love  
Do you remember when we met  
That's the day I knew you were my pet  
I want to tell you how much I love you

Come with me, to the sea of love  
Come with me, my love  
To the sea, the sea of love  
I want to tell you how much I love you  
Everyone stood up clapping. Henry had a gorgeous voice and it was so romantic. Rafe was in Henry’s arms and they were kissing like mad.   
Rafe: Thank you, babe.  
Brown: You’re very welcome. You know I love to sing to you.   
Rafe: He does.   
Blair: So back to the question, does Henry keep you satisfied?  
Rafe: Oh yeah…  
Jim: And how about Henry. What do you say about Brian?  
Brown: I say he fucks me better than I’ve ever been fucked in my life. That goes for women too.   
Blair: Jim is like someone that can’t stop when he starts in so I’m satisfied.   
Jim: (looking oddly at Blair) Thanks for the compliment, but I do no more or less than any other man.   
Blair: How many men here fuck their mates five times in one night?  
Everyone just sat there with their mouths open.   
Blair: See, I told ya. He’s like Batman or something. I do make him wear the Kevlar vest and I call him Batman.   
Jim: I think they now know why I drill you five times in one night, Robin.   
Simon: It’s just depressing.   
Jim: Well we don’t always do it like that.  
Dan: Like once a year or something?  
Jim: More like once a month.   
Joel: Oh god, I’m depressed too.   
Blair: Don’t feel lonely. I couldn’t get it up to do him five times a night.   
Sully: So Jim, you make love to him five times, once a month, but he doesn’t come each time.   
Jim: He comes.  
Blair: I was trying to make them feel better, Jim.   
Jim: Sorry. Well, he comes but not too much.   
Simon: Too late now, Ellison. Time to move on, Connor. And by the way, Henry. Thank you for the song.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.  
Sully: Well you do if you’re married to them.   
Everyone laughs.   
Simon: I agree with my wife.   
Jim: I do too.   
Blair: I do three.   
Simon: Knock it off. Say something else.   
Sam: Something else.   
Dan: Ditto.   
Joel: I concur.  
Rafe: I think you’re all nuts.  
Simon: Why did you say that?  
Rafe: You said to say something else. That’s something else.  
Brown: Does anyone want to see my cock, so they’ll know how many inches Bri will get tonight?  
Jim: I do.   
Blair: Me too.   
Rafe: No. Henry, sit down and keep it in your pants. Geeze.  
Simon: I think you could move it to the next one, Connor.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.   
Blair: Now this is just plain mean. Jim, you are way smarter than a lava lamp.   
Jim: Thanks, I think. I think this one is mean too.   
Rafe: I concur.   
Brown: I’m in total agreement.   
Simon: Fine, go back to the other way. I think it’s mean three or four.   
Dan: I think it’s mean five.   
Sam: I think it’s mean and not true six.   
Sully: I think it’s not true and not nice, seven.   
Joel: Well I’ve met some pretty dumb guys.  
Connor: (laughing) I was hoping someone would say it.  
Jim: You’ve met someone that dumb?   
Joel: Jim, every day at work we meet them.  
Jim: Well yeah, them, but I thought we were talking about people we meet in every day life. Ones that aren’t criminals.   
Joel: Same difference, Jim.   
Blair: He gives up.   
Jim: Only to you, baby.   
Simon: Oh god, here he goes again. Connor move it along.   
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Connor: Men are like ... Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.   
Rafe: That is just plain bad.   
Brown: I agree.   
Blair: I do too.   
Joel: I do three.   
Jim: I think I might agree with this one if you changed it to the rest are gay.  
Rafe: Oh god, that’s perfect.   
Brown: Oh no, we’re perfect.   
Blair: Works for me. Connor would you change that please?   
Dan: You all crack me up. But I think you might be right.   
Sam: Honey, you’re picking on yourself.  
Dan: I can take it. I’m tough.   
Sully: I think this one is so funny. I’m sorry honey, but it’s cracking me up.   
Simon: That’s fine. Make fun of your poor husband. See if I give you anymore babies.   
Sully: (looking shocked) I didn’t think you even wanted Simone, so I wouldn’t have asked.   
Simon: I love her more than I ever thought I would. And I would love to have one more, if you want to. I’m up for it.  
Sully: I love you so much.  
Everyone: Aaaaahhhhhhhhh.  
Connor: Guess what time it is? The survey is over. May we please have Mr. & Mrs. Banks front and center. Preferably naked.   
Everyone started laughing and Sully got up and said, “You’re all going to remember that I just had a baby five months ago, right? Don’t look at my pudgy belly too much. Please?”  
“Oh stop. We’re here to watch two people show their love for one another. So get it on.” Blair laughed as he shouted.   
Sully pulled Simon up to the front and Simon made sure the door was locked, then closed the blinds on the window. He sure didn’t want anyone else looking at them.   
Simon walked up to his wife and pulled her into his arms. “Simon, I’m scared to death.” He started to undress her slowly kissing her the entire way. Before long she was naked and he was licking her and bringing her close to an orgasm. Then Simon took his clothing off, as quickly as possible.   
Simon laid Sully on the table and started to lick her until she was begging for release. Simon then moved on top of her and he asked her to get on her hands and knees. Sully had never done it this way, so it was new, it was exciting and she was horny as hell.   
Simon came up behind her and kissed her neck, her shoulders, her back and her bottom. She was moaning like she had never moaned before. Simon looked around and saw that everyone was really watching them. He was hoping they’d be busy with each other. Simon slid into her vagina and started pumping his cock as hard as he could.   
By this time everyone was doing something to their mates, and that helped Simon relax somewhat. He just kept sliding into Sully making her whimper. He loved when Sully whimpered. “Simon, I’m right there baby. I’m right there.”  
Simon started fucking her harder and harder and she screamed out her release and was followed by the booming voice of Simon, saying BABY!  
Jim walked up to the table and caressed Simon’s ass. He kept doing it until Simon was once again hard. Simon moved his legs apart, almost as an invitation. Jim then moved around and went between his cheeks and ran a slick finger down to make him feel good. Simon moved his legs away from each other even further, letting Jim know he liked it.   
Jim didn’t know what to do now. Blair walked up behind him, pulled his slacks down and slid his cock into Jim’s ass. Then Blair whispered, “Finger fuck him, Jim. He wants it. You can tell.”  
Jim began to fuck his boss with one finger and Jim could tell he really liked it. So Jim moved up to, two. When he got three fingers in there, Simon was moaning and begging for more. But Jim knew it would be no more than this. He started hitting Simon’s prostate every time and Simon knew he was close.   
“Baby, I’m ready to come. Come with me?” Simon begged Sully.   
“Give it to me, baby.” Sully almost screamed as she came for the second time.   
Simon came again howling and almost collapsed on Sully. He couldn’t believe how great that felt.   
Sam got the wipes and brought them over for everyone. She took one out and began to clean up Jim’s hand. “I think I can do it, Sam. Thanks, anyhow.”  
Once everyone was dressed again, they sat down for a moment and Simon said quietly, “I just have to say, I was a wreck about this. But I had a really good time and I love fucking Sully.”  
“Is he romantic or what?” Sully asked as she pulled him in for a kiss.   
Jim and Blair got up and said, “This was great. We have to leave. Night everyone.”  
Everyone decided that it was time to leave. Simon caught up with Jim and Blair.   
“Jim, could I speak with you for a minute?” Simon asked.   
“Sure.”  
“Why did you do that?”  
“It seemed like you wanted it. I’m sorry, if I was wrong.” Jim said quickly.   
“Not wrong at all. It felt great. Do it next time too, all right?” Simon hugged him really fast and then took off for his car.   
“He liked it, huh?” Blair asked smiling.   
“Yup.”  
“He wants you to do that next time for him, am I right?”  
“Yup.”  
“You belong to only me, right?” Blair said sounding a little lost for a moment.   
“Yup.”  
“I love you Jim.”  
“And I love you, Chief.”  
Everyone drove home talking about how hot it was to watch your friends fuck. Who would have thunk it?   
Everyone also couldn’t wait to see who was up for next week for the end of the evening show.  
Life is never dull at Sullivan’s Pub. God, I bet everyone wishes they had a Sullivan’s to go to. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 47

Thank you for reading and come again. Hee hee.


	48. Disneyworld, Anyone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela asked for a story about the kids, so   
> this is what I came up with. I need more idea's girls. 
> 
>  
> 
> Summary: The boys decide to take Jade, Drake and Lancy to   
> Disneyworld. What were they thinking?

Sullivan's Pub Part 48  
Disneyworld, Anyone?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 05/06/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did,   
but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime,   
I'll put   
them back when I'm done. (I'm a big fat liar; I would   
never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Angela asked for a story about the kids, so   
this is what I came up with. I need more idea's girls. 

 

Summary: The boys decide to take Jade, Drake and Lancy to   
Disneyworld. What were they thinking? 

Warnings: m/m YAY! This one has nudity.   
Fun, fun, angst, pain, angst, sweet.   
======================================================

 

Sullivan's Pub Part 48  
Disneyworld, Anyone?  
Patt

Drake and Jade were watching television and saw a   
commercial for Disneyworld and they ran screaming into Jim   
and Blair's bedroom. Jade jumped on top of Jim making him   
groan in pain. 

"Jade, how many times have we told you to not jump on   
Daddy's penis?" Blair asked sternly. 

"Oh sorry Daddy, but this is potent." Jade said seriously. 

Jim and Blair both burst out laughing. 

"What? What did she say?" Drake wanted in on this good   
joke. 

"Nothing, she's just cute." Blair said snuggling with her. 

"She is cute, but that's not why we came in here. We came   
in to tell ya we have plans for the summer." Drake beamed   
with pride. 

"Really? And where are we going?" Jim asked smiling. 

"Disneyworld and we want Lancy and Miss Ellie to go with   
us." Drake continued. 

"Wait a minute. A trip is fine with bigger kids, but Miss   
Ellie is too little." Blair had to tell them. 

"I told you they wouldn't let her come. I told you. And   
now we won't be a damn family." Jade stormed out of the   
room. 

"All right, what is she talking about?" Blair was at a   
loss. 

"She wants us to all be together, like we were the last   
four weekends. Jadey likes that. She loves having Lancy   
and Ellie along with us. She loves them." Drake was trying   
to explain. 

"And how do you feel about it?" Jim asked seriously. 

"I think Ellie would drive me nuts after two days. Lancy   
would be all right, as long as I got to do things with the   
two of you." Drake looked hopeful. 

"Sounds good to me, buddy. I'll call and make arrangements   
and tell Uncle Brian and Uncle Henry that they'll have a   
week off from Miss Lancy." Jim laughed all the way to the   
phone. 

Jade was crying in her room and Jim walked in and lifted   
her into his lap as he sat on her bed. "What's wrong,   
Jadey?"

"I wanted Miss Ellie to come along." Jade whined. 

"You wouldn't be able to go on as many rides, because I   
would be holding her the whole time." Jim hoped that she   
would understand. 

"Oh in that case. Maybe next year, huh Daddy?" Jade jumped   
off his lap and was happy as all get out. 

Jim shook his head and said, "I'll never understand women."

Drake overheard him and answered, "Better not let Poppy   
hear. He won't want you understanning no women."

Jim laughed hard and hugged his son. God, how he loved   
these kids. 

Jim made the calls about the trip and Blair was making   
breakfast. 

"Poppy?"

"Yes, Drake."

"What are dinosaurs called when they sleep?"

"I don't know, Drake, what?" Blair answered. 

"A dinosnores!" And Drake laughed like mad, with Blair   
joining him. Jim sat on the phone trying not to laugh. 

"Poppy, why did the stupid racing driver make ten pit stops   
during the race?" Drake smiled at his Poppy. 

"I don't know, Drake, why?"

"He was asking for directions!" Drake almost fell on the   
floor laughing about that one. "Poppy that could be   
Daddy."

"Excuse me, I'm still in the room and I can hear you just   
fine." Jim growled at both of them, making them both laugh   
harder. 

"Daddy, in the park last weekend I was surrounded by Lions!

"Lions, loose in the Park?" Asked Jim.

"Okay, well, dandelions!" Drake answered and laughed his   
little head off. 

Jim grabbed him and said, "What's with the jokes?"

"I love telling jokes, but Jadey never unnerstanns them."   
Drake answered. 

"So Jim, did you call Rafe and Brown?"

"Yup. They're glad to get rid of Lancy for a week. Then I   
called and got dates off for us from Simon and made the   
plane reservations. Now we just need to book the hotel or   
condo. Actually, we should go with a condo, shouldn't we?"   
Jim was more hyped up then Blair had ever seen him. 

"Would you like some help? And when are we going?" Blair   
asked. 

"In five days. So we have to get things planned soon." Jim   
was rushing around already. "I would love some help, baby."

For the next five days, they worked hard, packed, planned   
and ordered tickets online. Blair was so good with all of   
the online ordering. Jim on the other hand, was great at   
paying for it. 

They were leaving on a jet plane. (I couldn't resist.) It   
was a huge Jet, so they had the five middle seats, there   
and back. They flew out of Seattle. 

As soon as they walked on they found their seats and Jim   
got all of their backpacks stowed in the overhead   
compartment. When he sat down in the seat at the end he   
glared at Blair. His love was sitting at the other end. 

"Daddy, we're so excited." Jade said. 

"That's good, but I'd feel better about the flight if I had   
Poppy sitting next to me."

"Grow up, Jim." Blair glared this time. 

Lancy said, "Uncle Jim, I'm scared."

"No need to be scared. Planes are wonderful and it's like   
a big roller coaster ride. You'll love it. You can hold   
Jadey's hand." Jim offered. 

"I want to hold your hand." Lancy said as she began to cry. 

"Wow, Jim. You're really handling the kids well." Blair   
almost snorted. 

Jim looked at Blair and mouthed, "Fuck you."

"As soon as we land and get to the Condo big man. That is   
after you handle the kids." Blair smiled at Jim and saw Jim   
begin to smile back. 

"Lancy, give me your hand and Jadey, give me yours. I'll   
handle both hands. I'm a two handed airplane rider." Jim   
smiled at the girls. 

"Daddy's weird." Drake said, but he did however smile. 

"Yes, but we all love him." Blair said. 

"I know I do." Lancy said quickly. 

"Not as much as I do. I'm his baby." Jade snapped. 

"Blair whose idea was this again? Who said it would be   
fun?" Jim grumbled.

"Jim, you're not going to have any fun if you catch my   
drift, if you don't straighten up." Blair could be just as   
disagreeable as Jim. 

"Poppy, how long do we have to be on the plane?" Drake   
asked, holding on to Blair's hand for dear life. 

"It's a pretty long flight, Drakey. So just try and have   
fun and enjoy being on an airplane." Blair smiled down at   
his son with such love and then glared at Jim for pouting   
for having to sit at the other end of the seats. "Drakey,   
look at Daddy. Isn't he funny?"

"Yes, he is. He looks like a baby." Drake said truthfully. 

"That's because he is. Poor things, they're stuck down   
there with a baby. You got the grown up Poppy." Blair was   
laughing watching Jim now. He went from pouting to pissed   
in about two seconds. 

The plane started to take off and Jade and Lancy both   
freaked out big time. They wanted to sit on Jim's lap. 

"No, you have to sit in your seat and wear the seat belt.   
It's the law." Jim said sternly. 

"Jadey, maybe we'd die if we didn't have them on. Is this   
plane going to crash, Uncle Jim?" Lancy was working herself   
up into quite a tizzy. 

"NO, it's not going to crash. And as soon as these lights   
right here go off, we can unbuckle and move about the   
cabin." Jim explained. 

"Jim, that was good. You sounded like the Stewardess."   
Blair and Drake both laughed and Drake didn't even know   
what the darn joke was. 

"Laugh all you want funny boy, but at least I know, they   
like to be called flight attendants." Jim then showed his   
true age and stuck his tongue at Blair and Drake. 

Once the girls got over the shock, they liked flying. Then   
when the lights went off, Lancy said, "Okay, time to go   
potty."

Jim laughed and said, "Honey, that's only if you have to   
go. You don't have to get up at all." 

"But Daddy, we don't want to pee in our seats."

"Jade and Lancy, let's go to the bathroom." Jim got up and   
felt extremely old. 

"YAY! We get to move about the cabin." Lancy screamed. 

"I knew that was going to bite you in the butt Jim." Blair   
teased. 

Jim walked towards the bathrooms smiling and shaking his   
head. 

"Poppy, I'm so glad I'm not a girl. They're stupid." Drake   
said ever so casually. 

"Drake, girls are not stupid. Do you think your Auntie's   
are stupid?" Blair tried to keep his voice quiet. 

"Oh no, I love my Auntie's."

"That's not what I asked. Do you think they're stupid?"   
Blair was making a point. 

"NO, but they're not girls." Drake folded his arms across   
his little chest and knew he was right. 

"Wrong, bucko. They are girls and I don't want to hear   
that come out of your mouth again. Am I understood?" Blair   
made sure he was understood. 

When Jim came back he could hear Drake crying quietly and   
looked at Blair for an explanation. 

"Daddy, can I come sit on your lap for a while?" Drake   
asked pitifully. 

"Can he Poppy?"

"I don't care." Blair answered and looked away. 

"That means no, Drakey. You work it out with Poppy. Sit   
on his lap. He has a very nice lap." Jim smiled at Blair.   
He realized Blair was afraid that Jim wouldn't back him up   
with the kids. 

Drake continued to cry quietly and sit alone for another   
fifteen minutes and Blair pulled him into his lap. He   
started kissing him and whispering how much he loved him   
and it worked. Soon Drake was asleep. 

Jim could only be so lucky. He had the motor mouths to   
contend with. 

"Daddy, can we tell you and Poppy some jokes?" Jade asked. 

"Sure. It'll help kill time." Jim smiled.

"Ready, Daddy and Poppy?"

"Ready." Both men answered. 

"What do elves do after school?" Jadey asked.

"I don't know. What do they do? Jim asked. 

"Gnomework!" Jade and Lancy roared and slapped their legs   
while they giggled. 

Blair looked at Jim and said Sentinel soft, "Are we that   
old?"

"Yes." Jim said to no one. 

"I'm next. What illness did everyone on the Enterprise   
catch?

"I don't know, Lancy. What?" Blair inquired. 

"Chicken Spocks!" And again, the two girls went wild with   
giggling. 

"What is the best hand to write with?" Jade asked. 

"What?" Jim wondered aloud. 

"Neither, its better to use a pencil or a pen." She cracked   
up and this one even made Jim and Blair laugh. 

"You're going to like this one, Uncle Jim. Wait and see.   
Why did me and Jade want to study in the airplane?"

"I don't have a clue, Lancy. Tell us." Jim said smiling. 

"We wanted a higher education!" Both girls went into a fit   
of giggles again. 

"Well at least they're in a good mood, Jim." Blair was   
trying to help. 

"Girls, can I take a nap so we won't be so tired in   
Orlando?" Jim hoped they would let him sleep for a short   
while. 

"Tell us once more what we're going to do." Lancy begged. 

"When we get there, we're going to get our luggage and rent   
a car. Not just a car, a SUV. Daddy and Poppy want to be   
comfortable. Then we'll get directions to the Condo that we   
rented and get settled in for the night." Jim leaned back   
and closed his eyes. 

"Daddy, that wasn't all. We aren't going to just sit at   
the darn condo all night." Jade loved to correct her Daddy. 

"Oh sorry. I was just tired. We'll all unpack, clean up   
any messes we make and then off to the grocery store." Jim   
again leaned back and closed his eyes. 

"Girls won't that be so much fun. Going on this long trip   
to unpack, clean and grocery shop. Wow, all the things we   
don't get to do at home." Blair almost laughed at the looks   
on the girl's faces. 

Lancy and Jade both jumped onto Jim's lap. Thankfully Jim   
knew they were coming and had time to prepare. "Daddy,   
we're not going to Disneyworld to clean and grocery shop   
are we?" Jade was shocked.

"Well of course not. We're going to jog too. I love to   
jog. And you know how Poppy and I love to golf. So there   
will be a lot of that too." Jim smiled over at Blair. 

"Uncle Jim, I could have done this at home. I want to go   
back." Lancy was pissed. 

Blair was giggling now. "He's just teasing you girls. You   
should know that by now." 

About an hour later Jade was leaned up next to Blair and   
Drake sound asleep. Jim smiled over at all of them and   
realized he had the best life. 

Lancy crawled into his lap and said, "I didn't know I would   
miss my Daddy and my Papa. I want to go back, Uncle Jim."   
She was crying so softly that Jim even had a hard time   
hearing it. 

"Lancy, give it two days. And if you still hate it, I'll   
take you home myself. Okay?" Jim kissed her forehead and   
held her closer to his chest. 

"Okay, I love you, Uncle Jim."

"And I love you, baby. Now see if you can sleep a little   
bit." Jim suggested. 

Before long they were all sleeping and it was almost time   
to land. The flight attendant tapped Jim's shoulder and   
said, "We need to have the kids all down and buckled in."

"I'll do it now." Jim put Lancy next to him and buckled her   
in. Then he took Jade and put her next to Lancy. Blair   
looked at him and smiled and said, "I'll get Drake."

"Okay." Jim was so tired, and he didn't know why. 

The kids all slept right threw the landing. It cracked Jim   
and Blair up. They just sat in the seats waiting for the   
plane to empty. They weren't in a hurry after all.   
Sleeping children was such a rare thing; they wanted to   
take advantage of it. 

Finally it was time to get them up and out. The men found   
they would be busy keeping up with three very excited   
children. Jim reminded them again about staying with them   
at all times. 

"Daddy, you've told us about 39 times." Drake protested. 

"And I'll tell you 39 fucking more times, Drake. Are you   
listening?" Jim shouted. Then he realized what he said and   
saw Drake start to cry. Jim picked him up and said, "I'm   
sorry. I didn't mean that. But being around this many   
people scares me. I'm afraid someone would take you, Lancy   
or Jade. Please understand, Drake."

"I understand Daddy. I'm sorry I said that too."

As they walked up to the counter to rent the car, the woman   
said, "Mr. Ellison?"

"Yes, that's me."

"I'm sorry, but there was a mix-up and they didn't save you   
a SUV." The idiot said smiling. 

"Well what did they save me?" Jim asked trying not to lose   
his temper. 

"They saved you a small compact."

"Do I look like a fucking small compact person? Jesus   
Christ on a Cross-. I can't believe this is happening. We   
haven't even left the fucking airport yet." Jim was on a   
rant. 

The kids stood by Blair and were acting scared. "Jim, want   
to look what you're doing here?" Blair pointed down to the   
kids all closing their eyes holding on to Blair. 

"God, I'm not going to get a break here. Okay, cancel   
everything; we'll take a cab to a place that actually has   
cars that you want. Good day." Jim grabbed Jade and Drake's   
hands and stormed off to see about the luggage. 

"Daddy?" A tearful Jade asked. 

"What honey? Nothing's wrong. We're going to get our   
luggage and go to another place and get a car." Jim   
explained. 

"Why were you so mad Daddy?" Drake asked. 

"I'm frustrated and nervous about this whole trip thing.   
I've never been on a family trip. I'm scared too." Jim   
hoped they would understand. 

All three kids hugged him and told him they'd take care of   
him. 

"Are we going to get our luggage or what? I mean I'd like   
to get out of the airport. I don't want Daddy saying   
anymore bad words." Blair teased. 

Once they got their luggage, they all got into a cab and   
the driver took them to a great car rental place. When Jim   
came out he was smiling. He helped the cab driver unload   
all of their things and then paid him well for his trouble. 

"Wait right here, and I'll be back." Jim said in his best   
Terminator impression.

They all laughed as they watched their Daddy take off.   
Soon a SUV, just like the one Jim had at home came around   
the corner. Jim was driving it. He jumped out and said,   
"Look familiar?"

"This is great Jim." Blair kissed him before they started   
loading everything. 

"You might want to think about kissing another man in   
public. It's crude and grotesque. My children don't want   
to see that." A stupid person shouted and stormed into the   
building. 

Jim wanted to go after them, but Blair made him get things   
into the SUV. 

Blair was very quiet, because he just didn't know what to   
say. The kids were quiet, because they didn't understand.   
Finally Blair said, "Kids, do you know why that lady was   
yelling at us?"

"Because you have a black girl?" Lancy asked sadly. 

"Oh no honey, that's not why." Blair informed her. "No,   
it's because they don't like two men kissing in public.   
They think it's sick."

"Are you sick, Poppy?" Jade asked.

"No, we don't think so anyhow." Blair tried to explain. 

"You won't leave Daddy because of that lady will ya?" Drake   
was scared. 

"People yell at my Papa and Daddy too. They don't like   
them kissing at the stores." Lancy added. 

"Drake, Poppy and Daddy won't leave each other because of   
some stupid lady. Don't worry about that, okay?" Jim   
reassured. 

"Okay. Do we know where we're going, Daddy?" Drake asked   
sounding an awful lot like Blair. Jim started to laugh. 

"Why are you laughing?" Blair almost looked hurt. 

"Chief, he sounded just like you when he asked me if I knew   
where I was going. God, it was just perfect. Made me feel   
good." Jim leaned over and kissed Blair at the light. 

"I'm glad I made you feel good Daddy." Drake smiled from   
the back seat. 

"Are we there yet?" Lancy and Jade asked at the same time. 

"Not quite girls. Calm down." Blair was trying to keep   
things calm, because Jim scared him. 

Jim looked over at Blair and saw something that he never   
wanted to see. Blair was probably fucking scared that Jim   
was going to lose it. Maybe hurt him or the kids? God,   
Jim was going to have to make this right. 

When they pulled up to the Condo, it was beautiful. They   
climbed out and took everything from the SUV into the   
Condo. They all helped each other unpack and Jim left the   
kids alone to get settled and walked by their room and   
said, "Chief, could I see you a minute?"

Jim heard Blair's heartbeat get faster and that upset Jim   
even more. 

"What ya need, Jim?" Blair was trying to be cool. 

"I need you to fuck me and fuck me hard." Jim handed him   
the lube and Blair said, "I think maybe this is the wrong   
time for this."

"Chief, I get nervous and I have to be fucked. You could   
ask my ex. I would have a little nervous breakdown and then   
we would stop somewhere and she would let me fuck her until   
I felt better."

"I don't want to hear about Carolyn. Do you mind?" Blair   
started walking out the door. 

"Chief, please?"

"Well if you loved fucking Carolyn so much, why are you   
asking me to fuck you?"

"There is no reasoning. I just love when you fuck me. I'd   
gladly fuck you, if you'd let me." Jim smiled over at him. 

"Tonight, Jim. We're going to get the kids settled, run to   
the store and then have dinner. Once they're in bed, I'm   
all yours." Blair pulled Jim out of the bathroom. 

"But Blair. I'm going to come in my jeans if I have to walk   
like this much more." Jim wasn't above begging. 

"Oh fine, get your ass in there."

The kids walked by and said, "Where are Daddy and Poppy?"

"They're in the bathroom, making weird noises." Lancy said. 

"They're probably kissing." Jade offered. 

"They might be getting naked." Drake offered. 

"Why would they want to see each other naked? It's not   
morning." Jade asked. 

"You love to see Penises, right? Well maybe Daddy and   
Poppy love to see them too." Drake explained. 

"Let's go watch television. I don't want to see them   
naked." Lancy said as they all walked into the living room. 

Jim was down on all fours, his head on his arms, as Blair   
fucked him senseless. It would only take a few moments.   
Blair was just getting into it when Jim said, "OH shit,   
Chief, I have to get up. Sorry." He grabbed a robe and   
threw it on and went running out into the living room. 

"Where's Drake?" Jim asked loudly. 

"He said he wanted to see what was around here." Lancy said   
looking scared. 

Jim screamed out the door, "Drake Jameson Sandburg Ellison,   
you have five seconds to get your butt back into this   
condo."

Drake came running and said, "I didn't do anything wrong."

Jim turned and just went into the bedroom, slamming the   
door. Blair saw Drake start to crumble and sat down on the   
sofa with the kids. "All right, this isn't going quite as   
planned. Don't be mad at Daddy. He gets very scared at the   
idea of you kids being away from us. We'll try and make it   
a better day tomorrow."

"Go and make sure Daddy is all right." Drake asked Blair. 

"Okay, you all stay right here and don't open doors to   
anyone." Blair walked back into the bedroom and found it   
empty. 

// Oh goody, he's in there waiting for me. // But what was   
waiting was Jim in the shower and Blair could hear him   
crying. Blair got in with him and had him get down on the   
floor like he was before and Blair once again began to fuck   
him. And fuck him well. When Jim came he yelled Blair's   
name and everyone in the living room began to laugh. 

"I guess Uncle Blair got him to kiss some more." Lancy   
assumed. 

"I guess so." Drake added, with a big smile. "Maybe he   
won't yell so much now."

Jade smiled and said, "He won't yell Drakey. He loves you   
too much. You just scared him."

"I guess so." Drake agreed. 

When Jim and Blair came out, all clean and ready to go, Jim   
went over and picked Drake up and held him close. "I love   
you, my little man."

"You still love me?"

"Yes, I do. But you're not going to leave my side again   
while we're in Florida. Understood?" Jim smiled at him and   
Drake kissed him and said, "I love you Daddy."

Blair called out, "Who wants to go shopping, so we can   
start the fun stuff tomorrow?"

"I do." Lancy said. 

"I do too." Jade agreed. 

"I hate stinkin shopping." Drake said and both men burst   
out laughing. 

"He is your son, Jim."

"I'm your son too, Poppy." Drake beamed with pride. 

"Yes you are. And I love you." 

They all went for dinner, got some food for the condo and   
got to sleep early so they could get up early. 

Jim was lying there with his cock up Blair's ass when the   
door opened. He pulled the cover up over them and said,   
"Drake what's wrong?"

"I just wanted to tell Poppy something."

Blair went up on his elbows but Jim's cock never slid out   
of his ass. "What's up, little man?"

"What all are we going to do tomorrow?"

Blair could not believe this. Jim was enjoying it. He was   
fucking him like mad while Blair was trying to carry on a   
conversation with Drake. "I'm not sure. We'll discuss it   
in the morning. Why don't we all get to sleep?"

"Poppy, why do you sound funny?"

"Because I'm tired." Jim moved closer if that was at all   
possible and began to hammer Blair's ass harder and harder.   
Then Jim reached around and began to stroke on Blair's cock   
and Blair knew he was going to lose it soon. 

"Drake, I want to sleep. Go to bed. I love you." Blair   
said hurriedly. 

"Night Daddy, night Poppy." Drake finally left the room. 

"I'm going to kill you when you least expect it." Blair   
snarled at his lover. 

"You loved it." Jim said as he continued the hammering. 

"OH Jim, baby…" Blair was very quiet about coming this   
time. 

And so was Jim. Because he only got in three more thrusts   
before he was over the edge. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, Jim."

 

Day 1 Orlando, Florida  
Universal Studios

"Come on, if you want to go with us, you best get busy."   
Jim was trying to get the kids ready so they wouldn't have   
to wait all day long in line.

While waiting in the line at Universal, Jim, Blair, Drake,   
Jade and Lancy were all grumpy. 

"So you know we've only moved two inches in an hour,   
Sandburg. Is this your idea of fun?" Jim was not a happy   
camper. 

"Actually, I thought it would teach the kids how to be a   
little more patient." Blair laughed. 

"Patient? Patient? Patient my ass. We're going to die of   
heat stroke is what we're going to do." Jim bellowed and   
everyone ahead stared at him. 

"And I also wanted everyone in the line to see what a   
wonderful sport you are. So that was my plan." Blair was   
giggling now. Even the kids were giggling and they didn't   
even understand. 

"If this line doesn't start moving, I'm going to blow a   
gasket." Jim whispered. 

"A casket? Why would you want to blow a casket?" Blair   
asked. Everyone in front looked at them again making Jim   
blush big time. 

"Very funny, Sandburg. I'll show you funny tonight." Jim   
growled. 

"Jim, I've told you not to tear your body parts down like   
that. You're great and I've never thought you looked   
funny." Blair laughed loud and again, everyone looked at   
them. 

"Why not just announce it, Sandburg?"

"Grow up, Ellison."

"Daddy, don't call him Sandburg and Poppy, please don't   
call him Ellison." Jade was upset now. 

"See, you upset our Jadey." Jim picked her up and began   
kissing her neck. 

The man in front of them turned around and stared and   
finally Jim said, "What?"

"Sorry. She's just a beautiful child. I got caught in her   
spell I guess." And the man turned around. 

Jim whispered, "See, that man could have taken you if I   
wasn't here. So you never leave our sides."

"I unnerstand, Daddy." Jade hugged him and Jim set her   
down. 

Suddenly the line began to move quickly. And like a prayer   
being answered, they were inside Universal Studios. 

They headed right to the Terminator 2: Battle Across Time

They waited once more in line but it wasn't too bad. Blair   
looked over at Jim and realized Jim was excited. Blair   
knew that he had some good teasing material with that.   
Once they got their special glasses, to which Jade said,   
"I'm not wearing no stupid glasses." They entered the   
theater and found seats and Jim was almost bouncing with   
excitement. 

"Jim, you excited?" Blair teased. 

"No."

"I beg to differ. I see a man, very excited." Blair   
laughed and so did the kids. 

"Fine, I'm excited."

"Jim, you did turn things down, right?" Blair asked   
worriedly. 

"Yup, as soon as we got in the park. Thanks, Chief." Jim   
leaned across and kissed him. He didn't give a damn who   
saw them. 

The show started and the kids were real into it also. Then   
some of the special effects in the audience started and   
Drake screamed like a girl and jumped into Jim's lap. "It's   
okay, Drakey. I've got you. Watch it now." Jim didn't want   
to miss any. 

They all loved it, well except for Drake. He swore there   
was someone under his chair.

The ET ride was next and the kids were hyped for that one.   
Jim wasn't quite sure how he felt about it. Blair was   
bouncing. 

"You look a little excited there buddy." Jim teased. 

"Hell yes, I've wanted to go on the ET ride forever. I hope   
it can live up to that." Blair smiled over at the kids.   
Once inside they gave their names and got their little   
cards and were off to board the ride. 

"Why'd we have to give them our names, Daddy?" Drake asked. 

"They probably say hello to you during the ride." Jim   
guessed. 

"Did you hear that Jade? We're going to have our names   
called during the ride." Lancy said. 

"Oh I can't wait." Jade was clapping and jumping by this   
time. 

"Girls, calm down some. I was just guessing. I don't know   
for a fact. I've never been to an amusement park before."   
Jim tried to calm them down. 

"You're kidding? I would have figured you for one of those   
families that always went." Blair said. 

"Nope, never went on a vacation to speak of. Once to see   
Grand-Parents." Jim looked a little sad. 

"Jim, we're next." Blair shoved him up closer.

Jim smiled at him and climbed into the back and let the   
girls go in front, with Blair and Drake behind them. A nice   
young woman said, "I'm alone can I ride with you?"

"Sure." Jim said and looked up at Blair and saw he was   
going to have to pay for that later. 

The woman started talking non-stop and finally asked Jim   
out by the end of the ride. He wasn't listening; he was   
too busy watching the kids. The look on their faces was   
worth every dime they had paid for this trip. Jim's smiles   
must have made the woman think he was happy with her. When   
they stopped, she got out and said, "So, we're on for   
tonight?"

"Excuse me?" Jim asked. 

"I asked you out."

"Well I was busy watching my children. And I don't think   
my life mate would appreciate me leaving to go out on a   
date." Jim stormed off holding on to Blair. 

"You were being a big tease." The woman shouted. 

Jim turned around and glared at her as he said quietly, "I   
was smiling at my children. This is their first time here.   
I didn't even notice you were talking. I'm a devoted   
father. So fuck you." Jim stormed back over to his family. 

Jim kissed Blair and then the kids and said, "What's up   
next?"

"Men In Black Ride." Drake said bouncing. 

"Was this one of your choices?" Jim asked. 

"Oh yes. It looks fun. I love the movie." Drake said all   
grown up. 

Sure enough, they went to that ride and stood in another   
line. "Chief, we should make up rides for the line people.   
We'd make a bundle of money."

Blair laughed his ass off and just crossed his eyes at Jim.   
The line moved quickly and they climbed into the cars.   
Drake sat by Blair and Jim had the girls in his car. 

They started moving and Blair shouted, "And they're off." 

Jim laughed but the kids thought they were both nuts. Jim   
ended up with two very scared little girls in his lap. It   
wasn't scary to him, but to them, it seemed too real. And   
they didn't get into the shooting the gun part at all. 

When it ended, Jade said, "Drake, I'm kicking you tonight."

"I thought it was fun. So did Poppy." Drake answered. 

"Well you and your Poppy are nutty." Lancy said. Both girls   
grabbed Jim's hands and they were off again. 

"Hey, how about this Back To The Future Ride?" Jim   
suggested. 

"I don't know what that is, Daddy." Jade sighed. 

"Come on, it'll be fun." Jim led the way and there wasn't   
much of a line. Jim didn't think that meant anything bad.   
Just quieter since it was an older show.

They got right in and the kids wanted to sit in the front   
seat, so Jim and Blair got in the back seat and they all   
buckled in for the ride of their life. 

When the ride started, Jim knew he was going to be in   
trouble. It was so fucking loud; he thought he was going   
to die. Then it started moving around and tossing Jim and   
Blair all over the back seat. The front seat might be fun,   
because there was nothing behind their seats. The back   
seat had the back of the car right behind Jim and Blair's   
head. It was a fucking nightmare. Jim thought he was dead   
at one point, but Blair made sure to remind him that he had   
to live through this, so Blair could kill him tonight. 

When the ride ended the kids jumped out and said, "That was   
a cool ride Daddy. Thank you for making us go on it."   
Drake smiled as he climbed out. 

"Daddy it was a lot of fun. Come on, let's go ride again."   
Jade said running for the door. 

"Blair, I think I'm paralyzed. And I'm not joking." Jim   
didn't seem to be able to move his legs.

"Drake get the girls and come back here." Blair ordered.   
"Jim, you need to find where the pain is and knock it out.   
Once you've done that you'll be able to move again."

After about fifteen minutes, Jim still was unable to move,   
so three men came in and carried Jim to a room across the   
hall.

They all went into this room and the doctor informed him he   
had to give him an exam before he could leave. 

"I just want to leave." Jim said trying to get up very   
slowly. 

"Jim, you can't fucking walk." Blair whispered. 

"It'll be all right, Chief."

"Could you all wait in the hall and I'll call you when I'm   
done." The doctor ordered. 

Blair and the kids waited calmly in the hall after Blair   
informed the kids that Daddy was fine.

Doctor Watson walked out and said, "He's sleeping right   
now. I gave him a shot to ease the pain."

"Doctor, he's allergic to many things, you should have   
asked me first." Blair was pissed. 

"I'm sorry, but he does seem to be doing better now. He   
just needs to wait for the swelling to go down and he can   
be on his way."

"What is wrong with him, anyhow? I mean; he can't walk.   
How could he be on his way?" Blair asked. 

"He slipped a disc. I told him what to do about it, but he   
doesn't want to interfere with his children's vacation. So   
once you get home, you might want to check into some   
therapy and perhaps surgery." Watson walked off leaving a   
confused Blair Sandburg standing there. 

Blair pulled his cell out and called Dan Wolfe. "Wolfe."

"Hey Dan, I need some help."

"What's going on, Blair? No one is sick, are they?"

"Jim was on a ride and he was unable to walk after the ride   
and a doctor said he slipped a disc. He's having him rest   
right now and then he said he'd be good to go. Is that how   
it works?"

"No. Tell that Doctor you want the manager of the park to   
come to you. Then get an ambulance to take Jim to a   
hospital. I want an MRI and a CAT done. He could have   
ruptured a disc or more. Do it now and call me from the   
hospital. That way I can fax things to them. I'll get his   
medical records ready." Dan closed his cell and paced. 

Blair knocked on the door and Watson answered. "He's still   
sleeping, Mr. Sandburg."

"You have a choice. You can call the manager of this theme   
park or I can call an ambulance myself and get a lawyer."   
Blair crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I'll call for the ambulance right now and get the manager   
here as soon as possible." Watson closed the door again. 

A very tall, elderly man walked into the hallway and asked,   
"Blair Sandburg?"

"Yes."

"I'm Mitchell Walker and I manage things around here." He   
shook Blair's hand and looked over at the kids. "Would you   
like my assistant to take them to lunch while we talk?"

"No. I don't want them to leave me at all. We need to get   
Jim to a hospital. I called my friend in Cascade that's a   
Doctor and he's going to set up the tests to be run." Blair   
was trying to sound confident and in control. 

"Well surely you don't think it's from that ride. You were   
on the same ride." Walker said. 

"True, but I'm a lot younger and my back is killing me.   
It's the back of the car that hits you on the head that   
hurts you. It took three men to carry my friend out of the   
ride. He's a cop in Cascade, Washington. He's in great   
shape, you'll see. This never should have happened." Blair   
was having himself a little rant. 

"Mr. Sandburg, do you have a car here?" Walker asked. 

"Yes, as soon as they come for Jim, I'll take the kids and   
meet them there at the hospital." Blair was truly upset and   
Walker could tell that Jim and Blair might be more than   
just friends. 

"How about we give you and your children a ride to the   
hospital? And you can come and pick up the car tomorrow?"   
Walker seemed to be singing a new tune. 

So that is what they did. Once at the hospital, Blair gave   
them Dan's number for the Precinct and they got Jim's files   
faxed, and also got the fax for tests to be done, per order   
of Dr. Dan Wolfe.

The kids were all sitting on Blair sleeping and a nurse   
came and said, "I'll stay with the children. They need you   
in the room."

Blair was able to move without waking any of them up and   
walked into the large room. "Hey big man."

Blair could tell he was on the verge of crying. "Excuse   
me, could I see him alone for a minute?"

Everyone left and they stood outside the door. Jim started   
to cry very softly. "I'm so sorry. I've ruined   
everything. It's bad, Blair. I can feel it. I think   
something is broke."

Blair rubbed his head and kissed his face. "Everything   
will be all right. Now we need to get your pain dials   
turned way down. That will help a lot." Blair talked him   
through the routine and before long Jim was calmer. The   
people in the hallway wondered how he had done it, but sure   
weren't going to kick a gift horse in the mouth. 

They came back in the room and got Jim ready for the MRI.   
Blair leaned in and said, "All of your senses need to be   
down, Jim."

"Okay, Chief. I love you." Jim looked so sad. 

When all was said and done, they were going to fly Jim in a   
special plane to Cascade for the surgery. He had blown   
three discs. That's why he had no feeling in his legs. 

Rafe and Brown flew to Orlando to take over with the kids,   
so Blair could all go on the plane the next day. 

"Papa, I missed you so much." Lancy said.

"I missed you too." Rafe just kept kissing her. 

Brown walked in and she ran to him and shouted, "Daddy.   
You're here too?"

"Do you want me to leave?" Henry teased. 

"Never." Lancy hugged him over and over again. 

Blair handed everything to the two men. "Here are all of   
the tickets, cash, credit cards and the SUV keys. Take good   
care of our babies."

"You know we will." Rafe hugged him quickly. 

Blair got down to kid level and said, "Does Poppy get any   
hugs goodbye?"

Both kids started to cry and Blair just about lost it.   
Henry took over and said; "I hear we're going to   
Disneyworld tomorrow. I've never been. Who will help me?"

"I can Uncle Henry. I'll help you." Drake might not want   
his Poppy to leave, but he also knew that he had to help   
his uncle's. They were kind of dumb sometimes. 

Rafe pushed Blair out the door. Getting into the cab was   
one of the hardest things he would ever have to do. 

The plane ride back to Cascade seemed to take forever. He   
pulled his cell out and called Simon. 

"Banks."

"Hey Simon, have you seen him yet?"

"Yeah, and he's having a hard time, Sandburg. When are you   
due in?" 

"Not for another four hours, sir."

"Stop with the sir crap. I'll be there to pick you up."

"Simon, please don't leave Jim alone." Blair was begging   
now. 

"He's not. Sully, Sam and Connor are with him. Beautiful   
women surround him. Too bad, he can't enjoy them." Simon   
couldn't help but smile at his own joke. 

"He better not enjoy any woman." Blair growled. 

"You are just no fun anymore, Sandburg. I'll see you in   
four hours."

In Florida, Rafe, Brown and the children were in the middle   
of seeing some great sites. The kids wanted to finish   
Universal Studios, so that's where they went first. 

When they got on the Jurassic Park Water Ride, it sounded   
like a good idea to both men. Once they lived through the   
screaming and crying from Jade and Lancy, Rafe was   
exhausted. 

Henry asked, "Drake, what did you think?"

Drake trying to be brave said, "It scared me. I almost   
cried but then I remembered I was a boy."

"Drake, boys can cry also." Rafe said softly. 

"Well I'm not gonna." Drake said and started to walk away. 

"Excuse me! Where do you think you're going?" Brown asked   
quickly. 

"We want to see the Shrek 4D show. It's supposed to be   
really fun. Not scary, like that Jurassic Park one." Drake   
led the way and Henry and Brian could do nothing else but   
follow. 

They sat in the theater and wore glasses, even Jade and   
laughed and got scared a few times too. But all in all, it   
was a wonderful experience for them. 

Henry was looking at the rides and he said, "Let's go to   
the jaws ride. It's on a boat."

They followed good ole Uncle Henry and he led them to what   
would become Jade's biggest nightmare. They sat on the   
boat and discussed where they would go next. 

"Daddy, I wanna go to a water park." Lancy whined. 

"I think that could be arranged. Water parks are fun and   
not scary. Right Drake?" Rafe asked. 

"I don't care." Drake said like the grump he was being. 

"Does it sound good to you, Jadey?" Rafe asked. 

"Oh Uncle Brian, I think it sounds like a lot of fun. Thank   
you for taking us." Jade blew him a kiss. 

The boat ride started and the person in charge started   
talking about a shark being spotted in the lake and Drake   
started looking around nervously. Rafe and Brown were   
smiling at him. 

Jade was looking around, but not for a shark and suddenly   
the shark came up and bit near the side of the boat. Right   
where Jade was at. She didn't scream. She didn't cry. She   
threw herself on the floor and rolled into a ball. 

Rafe picked her up and said, "Jadey, that wasn't real   
honey. It was a play fish."

"I think that stinkin play fish bited my little sister.   
Look at how she's shaking." Drake was pissed. 

The boat docked and they got off. When they reached the   
SUV, Rafe just sat and talked to Jade. Finally she started   
to come around and then cried. She cried for her Poppy and   
finally she said she needed her Daddy. Rafe felt like shit.   
Finally calming her down, they decided that they could all   
use some lunch. And then maybe the water park could be   
discussed. 

Once they were home they discussed the idea some more. "If   
you let me talk to my Daddy, I'll go to the water park."   
Jade gave a hopeful smile. 

"We can try Jadey." Rafe called Simon. 

"Banks." 

"Sir, we need Jim to talk to Jade." Rafe said quickly. 

"Why? He's not in great shape." 

"She was traumatized today and needs him." Rafe continued. 

"Is it going to upset Jim?" 

"I don't think so, sir." Rafe hoped. 

Simon walked in and asked, "Jim, could you talk to Jade for   
a moment?"

"Yes. I would love to talk to her." And Simon handed the   
phone over. 

"Jade?"

"Hang on Jim." Rafe handed the phone to Jade. 

"Daddy?" came the tearful question.

"Yes baby. Are you having fun?"

"No, I wanna come home. A big fish bited my arm and made me   
cry for a long time. Please Daddy, let me come home." The   
little sobs that came through the phone broke Jim's heart. 

"Jadey, put Uncle Brian on."

"No, I wanna talk to you. I miss you Daddy." She was   
crying very hard by this time. Rafe took the phone from   
her and Brown took her into the bedroom. 

"Sorry about that Jim. She said the only way she would go   
to the water park would be if she got to talk to you." 

"It's all right, Rafe. How do you feel about packing and   
coming home?" 

"Sounds good to me. We've had one nightmare after another.   
I think it would be safer to take all of our kids on a   
camping and fishing trip. At least we know how much fun   
they would have."

"So pack and get you all back home right now. Please?" Jim   
asked again. 

"We'll be there as soon as possible. How are you doing?"

"I'm going to have to have some surgery tomorrow. I'm   
scared to death. But he promises I'll have feeling in my   
legs and be mobile again. So I have to do what's good for   
all of us." Jim sounded scared. 

"Wanna talk to Drake?"

"You have to ask?"

Drake got on the phone and started to cry. "Daddy, I'm   
trying to be a big boy. I'm trying not to be a baby. I   
don't mean to cry."

"Drakey, I love you so much. You're not a baby. You are a   
big boy. And big boys do cry. Guess whose crying right   
now?" Jim asked sniffling. 

"Uncle Simon?"

"No, me." But Jim couldn't help but laugh at Drake's   
answer. 

"You're crying daddy? Why?"

"Because I miss you. Because I need you home." Jim was   
crying harder now. 

"Uncle Brian, my daddy is crying." 

Rafe took the phone and said, "We'll be home as soon as we   
can Jim. Take care." They all went in to pack and get   
ready. 

Brown called for the reservations and things went very   
smoothly. 

Blair arrived in Cascade and Simon picked him up. The   
drive to the hospital was filled with talk about the   
surgery that was planned for tomorrow. 

Blair walked into Jim's room and kissed his forehead and   
saw Jim open his eyes. 

"Chief, you are a sight for sore eyes. I love you."

"I love you, big man. God, it took forever to get here."   
Blair kept kissing Jim's hand over and over again. 

"I'm scared Chief."

"I am too. When does the doctor come in?" Blair asked. 

The door opened and the doctor walked in. "You must be Mr.   
Sandburg. We've heard all about you. I'm Doctor Sydney.   
Sit down and I'll explain what we're going to do with Jim's   
back."

Blair did sit down and listened as the man informed him of   
what the procedure was. The surgery is approached from the   
front, with a small incision in the abdomen below the belly   
button.

Organs are gently moved to the side so that the surgeon can   
visualize the spine while protecting important anatomic   
structures. 

The collapsed degenerated disc is removed.

The SB Charite disc is implanted – first the two endplates,   
and then the core in the middle, using specialized   
instruments. The two endplates (made of a cobalt chromium   
alloy) are pressed into the vertebrae above and below the   
disc space, and teeth along the border of the endplate grip   
the bone. A polyethylene core is then placed between the   
endplates.

The artificial disc stays in place by the spinal ligaments   
and remaining part of the annulus of the disc as well as   
the compressive force of the spine. 

Bending X-rays of patients after the surgery show that the   
motion of the artificial disc (flexion, extension, side   
bending and rotation) can closely approximate the normal   
motion of a healthy disc.

"This will be done in three different places on Jim. Have   
any questions?" Doctor Sydney asked. 

"About one million. But I want to just spend some time   
with Jim now." Blair held his hand again. 

"You have to leave. We have to start prepping him for   
surgery tonight. I'm sorry. The rules have to be followed.   
And we want this surgery to go well." The man left the room   
quickly, giving Blair a little time with Jim. 

"I have to go, babe. But I'll be here first thing in the   
morning. Don't you worry." Blair kissed Jim and reminded   
the sick man, of what he had to live for. 

"I'll see you in the morning baby." Jim kissed him hard and   
was getting teary eyed.

Blair walked out quickly, so he wouldn't start to cry.   
That's all the poor guy would need. Blair didn't want to   
be a wuss puss boyfriend, to Jim. They would have to drag   
him off to a special wuss puss room. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rafe and Brown got everything and everyone on the plane at   
midnight. 

They wouldn't make it home for a long while, but at least   
they would be home. The kids fell asleep leaning against   
Henry, who was also sleeping. 

Rafe pulled his cell out and called Connor.

"Connor."

"Connor, it's Rafe. I just wanted to let you know that   
we'll be in Cascade at 10:00 in the morning. Could you   
pick us up?"

"Yes. Jim is having his surgery tomorrow. Did you already   
know?"

"Yeah, I talked to Jim for a short while tonight. Jade   
wasn't taking this trip well. Jim asked us to come home. I   
don't know what we'll do with Jade and Drake once we get   
home."

"Brian Rafe, we'll all take turns watching them." Connor   
scolded. 

"Okay. Geeze, I've had a nightmare vacation. Leave me   
alone." Rafe snapped and Henry grabbed the phone. 

"Connor, you leave my man alone. He's doing as best as he   
can. Besides, it has been a nightmare." Brown said sadly. 

"I'll pick all of you up at 10:00 and we'll go right to Jim   
and Blair's house to get them settled." Connor loved being   
in charge. 

"We'll see you soon." Brown said and then closed Rafe's   
cell.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The following morning, Blair got there two hours before the   
surgery would start. He wanted to kiss Jim and wish him   
well. 

He walked up to the floor nurse and said, "Where is Jim   
Ellison?"

"Hello, Mr. Sandburg. He got a little worse during the   
night, so they had to do the surgery right away. He's in   
recovery right now. You'll see him in a few hours." Nurse   
Settler smiled at Blair, giving the young man hope. 

Blair waited in Jim's room for the longest time and Simon   
walked in. 

"Did they just take him?"

"No, they took him to surgery in the middle of the night. I   
had signed all of the papers, so they went ahead and did it   
six hours ago." Blair was very upset. 

"But Sandburg, they should have called you."

"Well they didn't, Simon. So what can I say? I'll just   
wait and hope to see Jim soon." Blair began his pacing   
again. 

Dr. Sydney walked in followed by the gurney carrying Jim.   
All of the nurses got Jim put on the bed and they walked   
out. "Mr. Sandburg, Mr. Banks, everything went smoothly.   
Jim began to have a lot more pain last night and we were   
afraid to wait any longer. He just came through it with   
flying colors. I followed your orders, Mr. Sandburg. He   
received only the drugs you had on the list. So he'll be   
coming around soon. Then he'll start physical therapy and   
he'll be back home within a week."

"You're kidding?" Blair asked. 

"No, but he won't be able to go back to work for about four   
to eight weeks." Sydney said. 

"This is great news. Thank you, Doctor Sydney." Blair shook   
his hand. 

"You are most welcome. I had a special reason for taking   
this case on. Jim Ellison was the man that saved my wife   
from being attacked one evening, while walking home. He   
said he had heard her crying. If it weren't for him, she   
would probably be dead. I felt like I owed him." 

"Wow, that's cool, I think. Make sure and bring her up to   
see him. Please?" Blair asked. 

"Will do. She'll come in the next day or two. Nice seeing   
you, Mr. Banks." Doctor Sydney shook Simon's hand as he   
left the room. 

"The man refuses to call me Captain Banks."

"Maybe it makes him feel weird to call you that." Blair   
offered. 

"Well I'm going to start calling him Mr. Sydney." Simon   
smiled. 

"I'm going to call the nurse if you don't quiet down." Jim   
whispered. 

"Hey Big Man. How ya doing?" Blair leaned down and kissed   
Jim's dry lips. "Babe, I'm going to get a wash cloth to put   
on your lips."

"Baby, they're dry all ready. Why would you want to dry   
them off with a wash cloth?" Jim asked smiling. 

"Good to have you back, Jim. Weird sense of humor and   
all." Simon touched his hand gently. 

Blair walked into the bathroom and Jim whispered, "Is he   
all right?"

"Yeah, he is. He's doing great." Simon added. 

When Blair came back, he wiped Jim's lips and Jim said,   
"Chief, they already had me moving my legs in recovery. So   
I'm doing really well. I have all my feeling back in   
them."

"Thank god. I'm so glad to hear it, babe." Blair kissed   
him once again. 

"Things are looking up already." Simon said happily. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Connor picked the guys and the kids up at the airport and   
she could see the fatigue on their faces. Poor little   
things looked exhausted. Then she got a look at Rafe and   
Brown. Whoa. 

"Hi everyone." She called out. 

"Hey Connor." Rafe said hugging her. 

"Thanks, Connor." Brown said hugging her also. 

"Auntie Megan can we go see our Daddy now?" Jade asked and   
then hugged Megan's legs. 

"Not yet, honey. We have to let him get a little better   
first. Then you can go and see him. I think." Connor   
realized she didn't know what the hospital would do or   
wouldn't do with kids. 

"So where are we going?" Drake asked tearfully. 

"You're going to your house. Uncle Dan took some time off   
and he's staying with you both. Not to worry." Connor   
hoped that would set well. 

"That's good Drake. We like Uncle Dan a lot. So let's not   
be mean to him." Jade advised

"What about me?" Lancy asked. 

"You silly girl. You have your daddies. We don't." And   
Drake took off running through the airport. 

"I'll get him." Connor said taking off at a good speed.   
Thank god she ran every day. This kid was fast. Memo to   
self, "self, you must tell Jim about how fast he is and get   
him in some track stuff soon."

Finally catching him, she grabbed him and said, "Knock it   
off, Drake. If something were to happen to you while your   
Daddy and Poppy were up there at the hospital, they would   
blame themselves. Now, let's go home."

When they drove up to the Ellison's home, Dan was waiting.   
"Joel called. He needs all of your for a new case. Right   
now. So leave the kids with me and get to work."

"Lancy too?" Rafe asked. 

"Of course, Lancy too. Get moving y'all." Dan grabbed the   
kids and took them into the house. 

As the day wore on, Dan picked out some DVDS and they all   
sat and had a movie marathon. During Shrek, Drake moved   
closer and closer to Dan and finally climbed on his lap.   
Before long he had all three on his lap and he was the only   
one watching Shrek. He was laughing his ass off. 

The front door opened and Sam walked in and said, "Oh   
sweet. I can't wait for Tristan to be Drake's age. How are   
things going?" She leaned in and kissed him softly and made   
him smile. 

"Things are okay. Drake is missing Jim the most. I think.   
I don't know. I'm not very good at this, Sam." Dan looked   
slightly upset. 

"You're great at this, big boy. Now, let me have one of   
them." Sam laughed as he handed Drake to her. 

"Where is Tristan?"

"Sully is keeping him for a few hours. I figured you would   
need help with making dinner and all of that. Right?" Sam   
asked almost laughing. 

The front door opened and Dan almost jumped off the sofa.   
It was Blair. What a relief. 

"They won't let me sleep there, so I came to sleep at home.   
I also wanted to see the kids too." Blair explained. 

Sam and Dan told Blair how Dan had taken time off, so   
everything would be taken care of. Blair realized what   
wonderful friends they were. 

"Jim, is doing really well and I get to take the kids up   
tomorrow to see him."

"That's great. But Dan still took two weeks off. You're   
going to need help." Sam told Blair. 

"Thank you both. I love you." Blair hugged each of them   
and then woke the children up so he could tell them how   
well Daddy was doing. 

Things were going to be all right. And the next time they   
went on vacation, it was going to be fishing and camping.   
Jim and Blair would bait all of the hooks and put the tents   
up. Yes, it would be a much better time for all. 

Jim decided that when the kids were older, he wanted to   
check out Orlando again. It seems like a beautiful city and   
they never got to see Disneyworld. That would give Jim and   
Blair about 12 years to get ready for it.

 

End Sullivan's Pub Part 48  
Disneyworld, Anyone?

 

Thank you for reading. 

Share with a friend and have them come over to the dark   
side.


	49. Men Get Even, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang wants to make Jim feel better after his damn   
> surgery. So they decide a night of laughing his ass off would be   
> good for back surgery recovery. Well wouldn't it?

Sullivan's Pub Part 49  
Men Get Even, Again.  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 05/11/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done. (I'm a big fat liar; I would never   
share.)

 

Author's Notes: I had some funny material to work with. I hope   
you enjoy. 

Summary: The gang wants to make Jim feel better after his damn   
surgery. So they decide a night of laughing his ass off would be   
good for back surgery recovery. Well wouldn't it? 

Warnings: m/m   
YAY! This one has nudity.   
Fun, fun, angst, pain, angst, sweet, pain, pain.   
Did I mention Jim's surgery? Well if not, consider yourself told.   
======================================================

Sullivan's Pub Part 49  
Men Get Even Again  
Patt

In the Bullpen that day, Connor asked, "Does anyone want to invite   
Jim and Blair to a Sullivan's Survey?"

"I think it's a good idea, baby doll." Joel missed the meetings. 

"Yeah, it would do him good. He's been depressed having to stay   
at home all this time. Call now, Connor." Simon gave the order and   
it was as good as done. 

Rafe walked up to Connor and said, "Make sure it's a fun one and   
it won't depress him more."

"Shove it, Rafe." Connor said laughing. 

"No one takes me seriously, Henry." Rafe whined. 

"Maybe it's because you whine and wear those suits every day.   
Tough up, hot shot and wear jeans." Brown slugged him as he walked   
by. 

Blair walked off of the elevator and everyone grabbed him to ask   
about that evening. 

"Oh yeah, it would do Jim a lot of good to get out and about."   
Blair smiled at all of their friends, thanking anyone for seeing   
fit to give their friendship to he and Jim. 

When Blair got home that night, he walked in and called out,   
"Honey, I'm home."

"Poppy. Where have you been all day?" Jade asked throwing herself   
into his arms. 

"I have to work. Since Daddy stays home all day, I have to bring   
in the money." Blair saw the look on Jim's face and said, "I'm   
kidding big man. I'm kidding."

"Jade, where is Drake?" Jim asked. 

"Do I look like his Mommy?" Jade asked in a very snotty tone. 

"Jade Claire, do you need a time out?" Blair asked. 

She started crying and ran to her bedroom. Blair looked at Jim   
and said, "What's up with her?"

"I think they're around me too much. From now on they should go   
for their usual routine. Okay?" Jim asked. 

"Sure. I just thought you would want to spend some quality time   
with them." 

"Blair, it's not quality. They're disappointed because I can't   
pick them up, they can't jump on me and they have to wait on me."   
Jim tried to explain. 

"Hey, did you hear we're going out tonight?"

"Blair, I don't really feel like it. But you go ahead." Jim   
walked into the bedroom and sulked. 

"All right, I'm not leaving you here alone, but I'm also not   
staying here with an old fud." Blair almost giggled. 

"We don't have a sitter."

"We do."

"We do?" Jim asked. 

"I called Linda and she'll be here in an hour. Maybe you want to   
think about taking a shower and changing clothes."

Jim called out, "Will you pick me out something to wear?"

"Good enough, big man. Now go and get that beautiful body clean."

Blair picked out his clothes and then went in to make a quick   
dinner for the kids. He missed out on naked little Jade running   
through when she found out her Daddy was taking a shower. 

Jim was leaning his head against the tiles and letting the water   
run over his body. The shower door opened and he looked down and   
said, "What cha doing, Jadey?"

"I'm going to take my shower tonight. I love taking a shower with   
you Daddy." Jade smiled at him but kept glancing back at his   
penis. 

"Jadey, if you do this, you have to not touch me. And stop   
looking at it."

"Looking at what?" She looked so innocent. 

Jim sat down in the shower and shampooed her hair and then used   
the body scrub for her body. Once he got done rinsing her off she   
was singing a little song for him. 

He cleaned the rest of his body and looked down to see Jade   
staring at him big time. "Daddy, you have the nicest penis I've   
ever seen."

"Well Jade, I don't want you looking at anyone else's."

"I won't. Just you and Poppy's. They're both bee-uuuuuu-tea-ful."

"Jade I'm glad you like to look at them, but if you continue, I   
won't be able to shower with you anymore. Okay?" Jim saw her   
start to cry and he went to pick her up. 

"No Daddy. You can't lift me. Member?"

"Thank you for reminding me, Jade. I love you." Jim dried her off   
and they both got ready to face the world. 

"I see she found you in the shower." Blair teased. 

"I love to shower with Daddy." As if everyone didn't already know. 

"Come on you two, I have dinner waiting. Then we'll be set to go   
Jim." Blair walked out of the room. 

Jade stopped Jim and asked, "Do you have to go Daddy? I want you   
to stay home with me and Drake."

"No, Daddy has to get out. I haven't been out in five weeks,   
sweetie. It's time for me to see our friends."

"You like them better." Jade cried all the way into her bedroom. 

Blair looked at him when he walked into the kitchen and Jim said,   
"She doesn't want me to go."

"You're right Jim. They've grown way too dependent on you. We'll   
get that all taken care of." Blair kissed his man and served   
dinner. 

"Jade come to dinner or starve." Jim called out. 

"Daddy's mean." Jade sniffed as she sat at the table.

No one said a word until Drake said, "Well I like you Daddy."

"Thanks, Drake."

"Well I like you too, you're just mean." Jade added.

"Good enough. I can live with that Jade." Jim ate as quickly as he   
could, so they could go. 

Linda arrived and Jade began to cry. Jim was getting upset and   
Linda said, "Miss Jadey, get your butt into your room until I say   
you can come out."

"She's worried about me, Linda." Jim didn't feel good about   
leaving suddenly. 

"Jim, get out of here. You've spoiled that little girl so rotten   
and then you wonder why she does this. Now get and have a good   
time." Linda pushed them out the front door, with Drake in the   
background saying, "Bye Daddy and Poppy." 

The drive to Sullivan's was quiet because Jim was a little upset.   
When they drove up, Blair leaned over and kissed him. "I want   
some good stuff tonight, big man."

"You got it." Jim kissed him back. 

Simon watched through the window and said, "Someone want to go   
down and get the friggin lovebirds?"

"Simon, you are so mean." Sully smacked his arm as she walked by. 

Jim and Blair walked into the room and saw they were last, as   
usual. Both men were thinking, // Fuck //. 

Connor said, "Come on guys, we're all set to go."

"We're coming. We're coming." Jim said. 

"No, that's what you said down in the parking lot." Simon laughed   
outright. 

"Fuck you, Simon." Blair snapped. 

"He was teasing, Chief."

"Sorry, Simon." Blair hung his head. 

"Okay, let's all calm down and have fun. You ready? Tonight's   
survey is for men tired of receiving male-bashing jokes. Men Get   
Even. Now do these sound familiar? Do you say them? Do you feel   
like any of these? And do you think they're funny or just stupid?

 

Connor: How many men does it take to open a beer?  
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Jim: I feel this way about Blair sometimes. If he brings me a   
friggin beer, why not open it? Right? I open his when I get one   
for him.

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison.

Brown: Wow. All time record. Two seconds flat and Sandburg says   
it. I win. What do I win, Connor?

Connor: Same as last time, nothing.

Brown: I think if we can guess that so well, we should get money.   
Jim, what do you think?

Jim: I think you should shit and fall back in it.

Rafe: Hey, no need to get pissy with my man. 

Joel: I think this is a funny saying. I would never say it to   
Meggie, but I might have thought it once or twice. 

Rafe: Oh yeah, I forgot. I think this sometimes. But it's usually   
at Joel's, Simon's or Dan's house. So it must be a woman thing.

Popcorn went flying at Rafe's face. 

Dan: I never thought it, but I do think it's sort of funny.

Sully: I like it. It's funny in a warped sort of way. 

Simon: I agree with Sully. But I have thought about why she   
doesn't open it when she brings me a beer. 

Sully: I'll open it on your head next time. How's that?

Everyone laughs. 

Blair: Now that I could see Sully. Thank you for the idea. 

Sully: Don't hurt him too badly, Blair. 

Sam: I do open Dan's. 

Dan: She does. I thought everyone did and I just didn't know. 

Jim: No, you have a one in a million gal. 

Blair: Because she'll open up a fucking beer? Give me a break.   
Jim I'm going to kick your ass pretty soon. Then I'm going to beat   
you over the top of your head with a full-unopened beer bottle. 

Simon: I think it might be time to move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?  
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will   
probably never be able to support you.

Dan: That's just stupid. Like we need the wives to support us.   
Not that I mind Sam. 

Sam: You better add that. But really, can any of us make it on   
one salary?

Simon: Not us. 

Sully: We do all right, but things are tight sometimes. 

Jim: We do all right too. (Starts laughing)

Simon: What are you laughing at?

Jim: I have all of that money in the bank, Simon. 

Blair: We do fine on our salaries. 

Joel: Meggie and I do pretty well too. We have a joint account   
with Jim. 

Jim: Very funny, Joel. 

Blair: I love being taken care of. Not. I think we all can   
support ourselves. 

Rafe: I don't want to sound weird, but you're all missing the   
whole idea. Have you ever looked at a date and said this? 

Brown: No, my Mama would have kicked my ass. 

Dan: No, I've never thought it while dating anyone. 

Blair: Well I think about it sometimes with Jim. 

Everyone laughs, except Jim. 

Blair: I'm joking butthead. Now write me out a check, please. 

Simon: You are a pistol tonight, Sandburg. 

Blair: You told them?

Jim: Shut up, Blair. 

Sully: What? What did we miss? He's a pistol. Oh my god, he   
calls your penis a pistol?

Blair: (laughing) He calls it his pistol. 

Jim: I'm going to smack you soon. No one needed to know that. 

Dan: So what do you call his?

Jim: Sandburg, I'll leave. (Standing up)

Blair: I guess that's supposed to scare me. He's such an idiot   
sometimes. 

Jim: Blair, you're saying that out loud. 

Blair: I know. Your point is?

Sam: We'll discuss the penises later. Speaking of that, is Jade   
still into your penis. (Cracking up)

Jim: I don't think that's even close to being funny. 

Simon: It is, Jim. You have no sense of humor. 

Jim: Yes, she loves my penis. But she also loves Blair's. But   
she tells me that, oh never mind. 

Dan: Come on share. 

Blair: Jim shaves his so she thinks his looks prettier. 

Jim: (Hits his head over and over again on the table.)

Simon: It's okay Jim. 

Dan: So Blair, do you like his without hair?

Blair: Oh yeah. Very sexy and I shave mine sometimes. 

Joel: I've been thinking about it. 

Connor: You have?

Joel: I thought you might like it. 

Connor: I would love it. It's easier to go down on a man with no   
hair. 

Simon: Of god, let's get off this subject. Can we get back to the   
damn survey?

 

Connor: Why do women have smaller feet than men?  
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to  
stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Jim: That's just stupid. I do most of the dishes in our house and   
Blair's feet are smaller. 

Blair: He does and mine are. 

Connor: The question is do you think that Jim needs to be doing   
the dishes all the time? Like it's only his job? 

Blair: No, I help. 

Jim: He does. 

Rafe: I seldom do the dishes; Henry does them. And he does have   
smaller feet. And I sometimes think he should do them. Sorry   
Henry.

Brown: That's okay, Bri. It works out all right, because you're   
shaving your cock and balls when we get home. 

Rafe: See what you started, Ellison?

Jim: I didn't, Blair did. 

Dan: I never think that Sam should do dishes. That is unless of   
course she feels strongly about it. 

Sam: I'm going to whoop your ass, Danny. Oh and you're shaving   
tonight too. 

Dan: Jim can you come over and show me how to do it?

Jim: Sure. Why not?

Simon: I don't expect Sully to do the dishes. We have a maid. 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Sully: He knows he would have to eat on dirty dishes if it was   
left up to me. 

Jim: How is little Simone doing? 

Simon: She's soooooooo pretty. And growing like a weed. You have   
to come and see her this weekend. 

Jim: Who?

Simon: All of you. Come for a barbecue. Is that all right honey?

Sully: Oh that would be great. That way we can see our little   
nephew and everyone else's children. 2:00 okay with everyone?

Everyone: Sounds good.

Joel: Back to the survey; I would never ask Meggie to do dishes   
unless I was in there helping her. 

Connor: He always helps me. 

Simon: Okay, this might be a good time to move on Connor.

 

Connor: How do you know when a woman is about to say something   
smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Jim: This is in poor taste even for us. 

Blair: I think it's kind of funny. I say things like that to you   
all the time. 

Jim: Shut up. 

Simon: He doesn't have to. Speak up, Sandburg. 

Blair: How many of you told a story and said, "Sandburg once told   
me?"

Everyone laughs. Sully falls on the floor giggling. 

Jim: So I'm the fucking woman?

Blair: Someone had to be and you're the one that called my penis a   
pistol. 

Sully: Okay, what's up?

Blair: It's not up. It hasn't been up in five weeks. 

Sully: Ah. Now we know the problem. He's horny. 

Blair: Everything is not about sex. 

Jim: With you it is, Blair. 

Dan: I thought it was offensive too. I would never say or think   
this about Sam. 

Sam: Thank you Dan. 

Blair: He just wants to get fucked tonight. 

Dan: Please don't talk like that to her, Blair. 

Rafe: Okay our turn. I would never think that about Henry or   
anyone. 

Brown: So I'm the woman?

Jim: Maybe we'll go shopping together tomorrow.

Simon: (Laughing) You two are putting way too much thought into   
it. Blair wants to get laid. Get laid. Henry fuck Rafe and   
he'll be happy. 

Blair: And who do you think is going to lay me?

Jim stood up fast and made a beeline for the restroom. He really   
needed to remodel the damn thing for Sully if he continued to   
spend so much time here. 

When he walked in he couldn't believe it. It was remodeled. He   
was going to have to kiss Sully for this. 

The door opened and Joel walked in. Without asking Joel pulled Jim   
into a nice hug. Jim went willingly.

"Jim, he's just horny." Joel said softly. 

"And I'm not? Geeze, I can't stand waiting."

"How long do you have to wait?" Joel asked. 

"Two more weeks and Blair is about nuts." Jim got closer to Joel. 

"How about taking some of that pressure off of his cock? Just   
give him a blowjob. Can you do that?" 

"I might try tonight. I love him so much. But he seems so angry   
these days." Jim was very miserable. 

"Joel, I'll take over for now." Blair said as he pulled Jim into   
his arms. Again Jim went willingly. 

"I love you, baby." Jim whispered. 

"And I love you. I'm sorry I've been such an ass tonight." Blair   
kissed him. 

Jim kissed him back and unzipped Blair's jeans. "What are you   
doing?" Blair asked. 

"Well baby if you have to ask me, I'm not doing it right." Jim   
went back to kissing him and then started to jerk his man off   
right there in the middle of the restroom. 

"Jim, I'm going to come. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man." Blair   
shouted, "Jim." And came harder than he'd come in a long time. 

After they calmed down and Jim cleaned him up, they went back to   
the Sullivan Room and sat down. 

"Better?" Dan asked. 

"Much." Blair replied and kissed Jim. 

"Jim, you better not have given him sex. You know the doctor said   
not yet." Simon warned. 

"Simon, I didn't screw him if that's what you're asking. And   
Blair wouldn't hurt me for anything."

"Good." Simon answered. "Connor, let's get this show on the road."

 

Connor: How do you fix a woman's watch?  
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Sully: Oh this wouldn't work in our house. I rarely cook. 

Simon: I wasn't going to say a word, sweetheart. 

Dan: I think this one is terrible, also. 

Sam: I could care less. Time means nothing to me. 

Everyone cracked up. 

Rafe: I don't like this one either, because I do the cooking. 

Brown: That would make you the friggin wife, Bri. 

Rafe: I'm not your wife. 

Brown: You are sometimes. 

Rafe: Do they all have to know?

Brown: We all know that Jim just jerked Sandburg off in the   
restroom. Why shouldn't they know about us?

Sully: That's what you were doing? Hot damn. 

Simon: Jim, you said...

Jim: Stop worrying, Simon. I'll be fine. 

Blair: I hate this saying. It sucks. 

Jim: God, I can't wait till you suck me. (He blushed when he   
realized he said it out loud.)

Blair: I'll take care of that tonight. 

Sam: Oh boy. I think I want to watch. 

Dan: You always want to watch. 

Sam: No, I mean because Jim's so horny. It's been a long while   
and he'll come like a bull.

Joel: And you've seen a lot of bulls come? 

Sam: (laughing) You're going to get it, buster. Yes, I saw a bull   
come once and it was long, hard and wet. Oh I'm sorry, that was   
Dan. The bull was huge and came for a long time. 

Dan: Hey wait a minute. How come you didn't call me huge like the   
bull? 

Sam: Danny, if you were as big as the bull we couldn't have sex.

Dan: I like being long, hard and wet then. 

Simon: Do we think we could get more off track?

Blair: I want to hear more about the bull. 

Simon: I don't. Connor, move this thing along. 

 

Connor: Why do men break wind more than women?  
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required   
pressure.

Jim: Okay, I disagree with this. This can be a man too. 

Blair: Are you talking about me?

Jim: I might be. Not badly. You talk a lot. 

Joel: He does, but so do I. And I can still fart. 

Sully: That's nice Joel. 

Simon: This is so stupid. 

Sam: What is? Farting or talking? 

Simon: Talking. Everyone needs to fart. 

Connor: I can't believe you all are discussing this. 

Rafe: I'm not. 

Brown: You talk. You fart. Why not discuss. 

Dan: Why not Rafe?

Rafe: Wait a minute. I think the sentence she rattled off is a   
bad one. It says if you talk you're not able to fart. We know   
this is untrue. Simon, can I ask her to move it along?

Simon: No, that's my job. Connor, move this sucker along. 

 

Connor: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is   
yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?  
Of course it would be the dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Joel: This is past mean and I would always let Meggie in first. 

Connor: Thank you Joel. 

Dan: I would always let Meggie in first too. 

Sam: Very funny. 

Dan: I would let you in next honey. 

Sam: You would choose Megan over me?

Dan: What do you think? (Kisses his wife.)

Rafe: This is another stupid one. I would let Henry in first all   
the time. We have no fucking dog. 

Brown: That's not the point. 

Rafe: It is to me. 

Brown: We'll talk about it later. 

Simon: Take him to the restroom. 

Brown: What do you mean?

Simon: He's got that look in his eye. He needs something and he's   
not going to find it here. 

Rafe: Shut up, Simon. 

Brown: Bri, do you need me?

Rafe: I always need you. (Kisses him.)

Brown stood up, grabbed Rafe's hand and said, "We'll be right   
back." 

Simon: I'm beginning to feel left out. 

Sully: Seriously?

Simon: No, I was teasing. 

Sully: Oh darn it. 

They all began to talk about work as they waited for the two men   
in the restroom. Knowing that they were having a lot more fun   
then the rest of them were having. 

Finally the boys came walking back to the table and Sully asked,   
"So did you have fun?"

Brown: Yup.

Rafe: Lots and lots of fun. 

Simon: Connor, are we ready?

 

Connor: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?  
A woman who won't do what she's told.

Jim: I didn't think these could get worse. I was wrong. This is   
horrible. 

Blair: But funny, don't you think?

Jim: I don't think it's funny at all. 

Blair: Oh that's right, you're the woman tonight. 

Jim: Blair, knock it off. 

Simon: Are you the woman tonight? (Laughing)

Jim: See? Now he'll tease me all night long. 

Blair: Hopefully not all night long because you're my woman   
tonight.

Jim: Sandburg, shut the fuck up. (Pissed now.)

Sully: I think this is a terrible saying also. 

Sam: Me too. 

Dan: Me three. 

Joel: Me four. 

Rafe: Me five. 

Brown: Me six. 

Simon: Now that counting class is over can we talk about a woman's   
role in the household? (Laughing again)

Blair: I like Jim to do things when I say and look good all the   
time. 

Simon: (Laughing harder) Is this true, Jim?

Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg. 

Brown: Does it bother you being the woman in the household?

Jim: I'm not the fucking woman. Not that I would mind, but I'm   
not. 

Rafe: I think you're objecting too much.

Jim: Fuck you Rafe. 

Connor: This is supposed to be fun. Knock it off, all of you. 

Simon: So give us something fun to work with. 

 

Connor: I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name   
was Always.

Blair: Oh my goodness. Could we change that to I married Mr.   
Right? I just didn't know his first name was always. 

Joel: I don't think that Jim thinks he's right all the time. 

Connor: I don't either. 

Joel: And honey I don't think that about you either. 

Blair: Joel, be honest. 

Joel: I am honest. 

Blair: So no one thinks this about his or her mate?

Dan: Not me. 

Sam: Not that I've noticed. 

Rafe: Nope. 

Brown: Maybe it's because Hairboy is too busy being right.   
(Laughing)

Rafe: Isn't that the truth?

Blair: You think this reminds you of me?

Dan: Well, you do seem to know a lot about everything. 

Sam: It's nothing to be ashamed of. 

Simon: And what's going on with you and Jim tonight. You act like   
you hate him. 

Blair: I don't hate him. 

Rafe: And he would know because he's always right. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. Jim, do you think this too?

Jim: No. I think you know a great deal. But you don't flaunt it. 

Blair: Jim, do you think I'm acting like I don't like you tonight?

Jim: No. 

Blair: See Simon. 

Simon: Whatever. Connor, move this along. 

 

Connor: I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to   
interrupt her.

 

Rafe: My god, is this Hairboy or what?

Brown: Yup, this is Sandburg, all right. 

Joel: I think it could be all of us at some point. 

Simon: Except Jim. He rarely talks. 

Blair: Leave him alone. 

Simon: I don't have to. 

Sully: You guys are getting worse as the night goes on. 

Sam: I agree. 

Dan: Jim, are you all right. You look a little pale. 

Jim: I'm just fine, thank you. 

Blair: You wanna go home, Jim?

Jim: No, that's all right. I'm fine. 

 

Connor: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a   
woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.

Joel: This isn't true at all. I can tell you all about it. 

Connor: Well, not all about it. 

Rafe: I don't believe that either. 

Brown: Me either. 

Rafe: But it might be true with Ellison, beings he's the woman.   
(Giggling)

Simon: Shut up, Rafe. I don't believe this either. Sully has   
become sexier every day. 

Sully: Thank you, baby. 

Dan: I agree with Simon. I think Sully is sexy as hell.   
(Laughing)

Sam: Sexier than her sister?

Dan: No one is sexier than her sister. 

Sam: Thank you, baby. 

Jim: Blair continues to make me drool every single day of our   
lives. 

Rafe: What, like a stroke or something?

Blair: Shut up. Thank you Jim. That was nice. 

Rafe: I have a sofa at my place you're welcome to. 

Blair: Whom are you talking to? 

Rafe: All right he doesn't know everything. I was talking to Jim. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Simon: We better move on Connor. 

 

Connor: Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding   
Ring, suffering.

Jim: I don't agree. 

Blair: But this one is really funny. 

Simon: I don't agree either. Sully, I love being married to you. 

Sully: I love being married to you. 

Dan: Sam, I wouldn't change a thing. I love you. 

Sam: Oh way to make me cry. I love you too. 

Connor: Honey bear, I love you so much that sometimes my heart   
aches. 

Joel: I feel the same way about you, Meggie. 

Rafe: I love you, Henry. 

Brown: And I love you back, Brian. 

Jim looked down sadly at Connor and said, "Megan I need to talk to   
you."

They walked into the hallway outside the room and she said,   
"What's up?"

"When did you lose the baby?" Jim had a tear going down his face. 

"Three weeks ago. We didn't want to tell you. I wanted you to   
get better first." Connor went into Jim's open arms and cried for   
the child that could have looked exactly like his Daddy. "How did   
you know we had lost him?" 

"I listened for his little heartbeat and it wasn't there. I'm so   
sorry Megan. I'm so sorry. I wanted that baby too." Jim kept   
rubbing her back as he talked. 

"Joel is getting a vasectomy next week. We decided that after the   
trouble with Ellie, we'd better count our blessings and go from   
there."

"If you need me anytime, you know where I am." Jim kissed her   
cheek and then they walked back in the room. 

Everyone could see that both had been crying, but no one said a   
word. 

Simon: Ready, Connor?

 

Connor: Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

Blair: (Laughing.) Now you have to admit this is funny. 

Jim: I don't feel that way about you, Chief. 

Blair: No, I mean it's funny. Not that we feel that way about   
anything. 

Sully: I think it's horrible. 

Sam: I do too. 

Simon: Well I don't want to leave you. 

Sully: Good. Glad to hear it. 

Dan: I never want to leave Sam. 

Sam: Thank you baby. 

Rafe: I think this one sucks too. 

Brown: I love you, Brian. 

Blair: Okay, when did this be a sweet I love you survey instead of   
Men Getting Even survey?

Simon: We're just answering Sandburg. 

Blair: Well, your answers suck. 

Simon: How about the next one, Connor? 

 

Connor: Young Son: "Dad, is it true that in some parts of Africa a   
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"  
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Connor: Joel, did you know me well enough when we wed?

Joel: Yes, and have gotten to know you even more. I love you   
baby. 

Simon: I couldn't agree more. I wondered if I should marry and   
have a child, but thankfully Jim helped me see my way clear. 

Sully: You were scared Simon? 

Simon: Scared shitless. But I'm over that and I love our life and   
baby girl. 

Sully: I'm so glad. 

Dan: I never wanted anything but Sam, so this saying wouldn't work   
for us. 

Sam: And Dan is the most charming, sweet, loving and kind man I   
could ever ask for. I love you sweetie. 

Rafe: I know you just enough. I could never find anyone better   
than you, Henry. I love you. 

Brown: I love you. I feel the same way. We were meant for each   
other. 

Jim: Chief, I feel like I've known you all my life and it still   
wasn't enough. I knew that I needed to be with you forever and   
learn more. I love every waking moment with you. 

Blair: I thought this was supposed to be a funny survey, Connor.   
This is too serious for me. 

Simon: Maybe we could move on. 

Everyone saw the sadness in Jim's face and wondered what was going   
on. 

 

"That's it folks. I'm sorry it wasn't funnier. I do have   
something to tell you. Joel and I lost the baby." 

Sully and Sam went to her first thing and Sam asked, "Why didn't   
you call us? Why didn't you come to us?"

"I didn't want to upset anyone's life. Joel was so hurt by it   
that I just wanted to let it go." Megan explained. 

Blair hugged her and said, "I'm so sorry Megan." Then he went to   
Joel and said, "I'm sorry Joel."

Simon asked, "Jim did you know?"

"Yes. I listened for the heartbeat like I did with everyone's   
babies and it was missing." Jim was almost as sad at Connor and   
Joel.

Simon turned to Joel and said, "We're going to have a talk about   
what real friends are for."

"Okay." Joel said quietly. 

Simon hugged him and said, "I'm here if you need me." 

Rafe and Brown gave both of them a hug and left for the evening. 

Blair turned around and asked, "Has anyone seen Jim?"

Simon glared at Blair and answered, "Well if he had any sense he   
went home alone."

"What is your problem? It was supposed to be fun." Blair snapped. 

"You've been acting like you're four years old all night long.   
And Jim puts up with it every time you pull this shit." Simon   
growled. 

Sully grabbed him, "Simon, this is none of your business."

"It's got to be someone's. Sandburg do you even love that man?"   
Simon shouted this time. 

"Fuck you, Simon." Blair shouted back. 

"That's not an answer, Sandburg. Do you love him? Do you want to   
make him happy?" Simon baited him. 

"Yes, I love him. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone.   
Now I'm going to go home." Blair got his things ready to go. 

Jim opened the door of their room and said, "Simon don't you ever   
yell at him like that again. I appreciate that you feel the need   
to look after me, but I'll work things out with Blair myself."

"Where were you, Jim?" Blair asked worriedly. 

"Getting a breath of fresh air." Jim looked very tired and sad. 

"Jim, I love you so much babe. I don't want to have to leave."   
Blair pleaded. 

"Blair, I never said you had to leave."

"I can tell when I'm getting dumped." Blair said sadly. 

"Is that what's been wrong for the last few weeks? Did you think   
I was dumping you?" Jim had forgotten all about their friends   
listening to them. 

"Yeah." Blair whispered. 

Jim pulled Blair into his arms and said, "Let's go home now and   
I'll show you how much I love you."

"I'm sorry Simon." Blair hugged his big boss and found Simon   
hugging him back. 

"I'm sorry too. Next time I'll let Jim take care of his own life.   
He does just fine." Simon smiled down at Blair. 

Everyone said goodnight to each other and drove off. Blair was a   
little nervous. Jim wanted to fuck and he hadn't since the   
surgery. It wasn't time yet. 

"Blair, I'm not going to fuck you. I'm going to suck you." Jim   
must have known what Blair was thinking. 

"Oh goody. I love when you suck me. Do I get to suck you too?"   
Blair asked. 

"God, I need to get home quicker. I'd hate to come in my jeans   
without you even touching me." Jim laughed as he sped up. 

Jim needed to remember that in two more weeks he would be able to   
fuck Blair senseless. Hot damn. And with that thought he said,   
"Oh shit."

"What? What's wrong?"

"I just came in my pants thinking about you." Jim blushed. 

"That is so sweet, babe. I'll take care of you when we get home." 

Jim drove faster yet and pulled into the driveway. Thankfully,   
their nanny lived right next door, so they were naked and in bed   
before either of them knew it. 

Blair got between Jim's legs and saw Jim's cock harden and he   
decided to try something new. 

He leaned on his elbows and began to blow softly on Jim's cock.   
"Chief, I'm going to come again without you."

Blair continued to blow softly on Jim's cock and now and then he   
would take a lick of the tip. "Jim, imagine that you're thrusting   
into me. I want to see that hard cock, get harder. Close your   
eyes and imagine it being inside of me."

Blair watched Jim close his eyes and began a slight thrust up and   
down. It was making Blair horny too. Soon Jim started begging   
and Blair started to blow gently on it. 

"Chief, I'm right there. Baby, I'm going to come."

Blair blew on him again and Jim gave a gentle thrust once more and   
came yelling Blair's name. 

Blair got busy with his own cock and got on the verge of coming   
and went over and said, "I'd like you to suck it now. I'm right   
there, babe."

"I want you Blair. I want you to fuck me."

"Not yet Jim. We wait for the doctor to give us the okay." Blair   
continued to fist his cock and leaned over and slid his cock into   
Jim's mouth. Jim sucked on it four times and Blair came howling. 

Jim loved belonging to Blair. He curled into his arms and Blair   
held on to Jim for dear life. 

In the morning Jim woke up to Jade staring at his penis. "What   
cha doing Jadey?"

"Daddy, I've been watching your penis for a while now. It's   
dripping. So when it does that do I dry it off or make you get up   
to go potty?" Jade asked seriously. 

"You never touch daddy's penis. So you wake me up if you think I   
need to go potty." Jim answered.

"You better get up Daddy. It's dripping."

"You go back to bed and I'll take care of my penis." Jim started   
to push her out of the bed. 

Jim fell back to sleep and didn't hear her come back in. Jim   
opened his eyes and saw her staring at it and was getting ready to   
touch it. 

"Jadey, if you touch me, you can't come in my room again." Jim   
said sternly. 

She cried all the way to her room. 

"What's going on?" Blair asked confused. 

"She wanted to dry my penis off. It was dripping." Jim smiled at   
Blair. 

Blair took Jim's cock in his mouth and started sucking gently. 

Jim was breathing hard and loving every minute of it. "Jade's   
coming, Blair."

Blair got up and shut the door and locked it.

"Now where was I?" Blair asked sucking like there was no tomorrow. 

"Baby, I'm there. God, Blair you make me feel so good. Suck me   
baby. Suck me." And then Jim came with a yell.

Blair did the same thing he had done the night before. He got   
close and then had Jim suck him off. They held each other for   
about ten minutes and then got up to make breakfast and take   
showers. Real life sucked sometimes. 

 

End: Sullivan's Pub Part 49 

Thank you for reading. 

Come again.


	50. Where Do We Go From Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: This is not a death story. Just reads like   
> one for a short time. 
> 
> Drake is having a birthday. Everyone is there but   
> Jim and Simon.

Sullivan's Pub Part 50  
Where Do We Go From Here?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 05/18/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did,   
but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime,   
I'll put   
them back when I'm done. (I'm a big fat liar; I would   
never share.)

 

Author's Notes: This is not a death story. Just reads like   
one for a short time. 

Summary: Drake is having a birthday. Everyone is there but   
Jim and Simon. 

Warnings: m/m   
Angst Alert!!!!!! No beta.   
======================================================

Sullivan's Pub Part 50  
Where Do We Go From Here?  
Patt

Drake was so excited about his birthday party. Blair was   
handling most everything because Jim had to do some work on   
a case. 

Jim and Simon were the only ones missing from the Sandburg-  
Ellison household. 

Connor walked up and asked, "So where are they?"

"Jim just called and said he's close. He said that Simon   
was only about five minutes behind." 

Joel came in carrying Drake. "Blair, tell him that just   
because he's six doesn't mean I can't carry him anymore."

"Drakey, Uncle Joel can carry you forever if he wants to."   
Blair teased. 

"I'll make you a deal Drake. I won't lift you up in front   
of your friends." Joel decided that might be the problem. 

"Thank you, Uncle Joel. I'm so excited. I wish Daddy would   
get here. And where is Uncle Simon?"

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

Driving down the road, Simon saw Jim just up ahead and   
tried to catch up so he could tease him about being a slow   
driver. As he got closer Jim's SUV blew up and Simon's   
life would never be the same. 

The police, Fire Department and EMT's came quickly. They   
pulled Jim's body out of the SUV, or what was left of it   
and Simon about lost it. He was completely burned. 

"Captain Banks, are you sure it was Jim Ellison driving?"   
Sgt. Mitchell asked. 

"Yes, I was following him. Well I was about fifteen   
minutes behind and I sped up. But it was Jim's SUV. I read   
the plate when I came up behind him." Simon was in major   
shock. 

"That's good enough for us. This way we don't have to have   
Sandburg come and try and identify him. It would be   
impossible." Mitchell said. "We'll go and let him know   
now."

"No. I'll do it. His sons having a birthday and everyone   
from Major Crime is there. He'll be surrounded by loved   
ones." Simon stood to get into his car. 

"Sir, I think you should let Officer Davis drive you over   
to their home."

"Okay." Simon didn't really want to do anything. Jesus,   
what the hell was Blair going to do now?

Blair was getting a little nervous now and Connor tried to   
calm him down. "Sandy, don't worry so much."

"Uncle Simon is here and there is a policeman driving."   
Jade said as she looked out the window. 

Blair looked at Joel and said, "Oh god, no."

"I'll go and see what Simon has to say." Joel walked out   
the door quickly. 

Blair walked into the bedroom and waited for the bad news.   
It wasn't long and Simon walked in looking lost. "Blair,   
I'm so sorry. Someone planted a bomb in the SUV. They'll be   
investigating it for some time."

Blair just lay on the bed and didn't do anything. No   
crying, whimpering or begging. He just lay there quietly   
hoping that life would end for him too. 

Rafe, Brown, Connor, Joel, Dan and all of the wives walked   
into the bedroom and Blair sat up. 

"We don't want the kids to know. So let's make sure that   
Drake has the best birthday he's ever had. We'll tell him that   
Daddy is working." Blair walked out of the room and he did   
just that. 

Everyone watched Sandburg stay in control the entire day.   
They couldn't believe how strong Blair was. They had to   
all keep leaving and crying in the bathroom. 

Once the day was done, Joel helped Blair get the kids   
bathed and put in bed. Blair kissed them so tenderly that   
it about broke everyone in half. 

Everyone waited in the living room and Blair came out and   
said, "Does anyone need anything?"

"Sit down Blair." Sully commanded and patted the seat next   
to her on the sofa. Blair sat down and said, "I'm fine.   
I'll have a little cry later and be busy with the kids   
tomorrow. Stop worrying."

"Sandburg, do you want to know what happened to him?" Simon   
asked. 

"Yes."

"We were teasing one another at the station. I told him I   
had about another fifteen minutes left and then I'd be   
here. He said, "You'll do anything to get out of a loud   
party with tons of kids, won't you?" And we both laughed.   
He turned to me and said, "Hurry it up, Drakey is waiting   
on his Uncle Simon." And then he walked out the door.   
Fifteen minutes later, I drove up behind him and was   
shocked. He must have had to get gas or something. I know   
it's his SUV because it says Blair's on the plate. I was   
getting ready to come around and tease him some more when   
the bomb went off. God, I'm so sorry, Sandburg." Simon was   
shaking and Sully held his hand to give him strength.

"I had a fight with him." Blair said very quietly. 

"What?" Rafe asked. 

"He called and said he couldn't leave yet and I yelled at   
him. I told him he didn't care enough about the kids. He   
worried too much about work. He told me I was an asshole   
and I told him he was a prick. Those were our last words."

Connor moved over and took Blair into her arms and began to   
cry. Then Blair started to cry. Soon everyone followed   
suit. Jade and Drake stood and watched and knew something   
bad had happened to their Daddy.

"Poppy." Drake whispered. 

Blair wiped his face off and stopped crying. "Drake honey,   
what's wrong?"

"Did Daddy die today?" Drake asked sadly.

"My Daddy didn't die. My Daddy didn't die." Jade cried. 

Simon held on to Jade and Blair held Drake. "Yes, Daddy   
died today. I'm so sorry Drake and Jade. You're stuck with   
only me now."

"Don't leave us Poppy. Please?" Jade begged. 

"Honey I won't leave you." Blair took her in his arms and   
she seemed to calm down. 

Both of the kids cried for a long while until they fell   
asleep. 

Everyone left about four in the morning. Blair was sleeping   
in the spare room with his children. 

"Simon, it won't be a bad thing if you cry for your   
friend." Sully suggested. 

"When we get home, babe." Simon leaned against the window   
and wished that this day hadn't happened. 

Sam and Dan cried together all the way home. Both knew   
that poor Blair would never be the same. 

Connor and Joel also cried all the way home. And Joel knew   
that Connor had been closer to Jim then anyone thought. She   
loved him dearly. Blair had asked all of them to speak at   
Jim's funeral. He would have to write something and see   
how it sounded to Meggie. 

Rafe and Brown slept in Jim and Blair's bed with Lancy.   
They wanted to be there if Blair needed anything. 

Blair woke up once and realized he didn't call Steven. He   
needed to do that. He also needed to call Naomi. He   
grabbed his cell phone and called Steven first. 

"Ellison." Steven answered just like Jim. 

Blair started to cry. Steven said, "Blair?"

"He's gone Steven. Someone blew him up." Then he cried some   
more. 

"I'll be there tomorrow." Blair could hear Steven crying   
too. "I'll be there, Blair."

"Thank you, Steven." And Blair hung up. He called his   
mother next. 

"Hello?" It was actually his mom. 

All she heard was crying and knew it was her baby boy.   
"Blair honey, what happened?"

"Jim's dead. I need you."

"I'll be there tomorrow, baby. Don't you worry. I'll stay   
a while with the kids too. I'm so sorry sweetie." She   
softly cried and hung up the phone quickly. 

Then he got Jim's phone book out and saw Carolyn listed and   
realized he should probably call her. 

"Hello?"

"Carolyn? This is Blair Sandburg. I wanted to call and let   
you know that Jim was killed today. I don't know when the   
service will be, but in case you want to come, I have room   
here at the house." Blair tried to get it all out at once. 

"Blair, I'm so sorry. God, I can't believe he's gone." She   
sobbed as hard as Blair had cried. "I'll be there sometime   
tomorrow. Thank you for calling me, Blair."

"No problem. I knew he would want you to know. Goodbye."   
Blair closed his cell and hoped that would be the last   
person he had to call. 

When Blair woke in the morning, breakfast was made and   
coffee was brewing. He got out of bed only to be followed   
by his two little ones. 

"Poppy is going to take a shower. Why don't you have   
breakfast with Uncle Brian?" Blair suggested hopefully. 

They ended up in the shower with Blair. They never let go   
of him for a second. Blair looked down at them and knew he   
was going to have his hands full. Thankfully he had a lot   
of close friends. 

The service was beautiful. All of Jim's friends and family   
talked about him. The only one who didn't speak was Blair.   
Once the service was over, there was an open house at   
Simon's. Blair was so glad that he didn't have to put up   
with people in their home. 

He took the kids and drove home after an hour and they sat   
on the sofa and had a good cry. Blair looked up and saw   
Carolyn at the door and she walked in and joined them on   
the sofa and cried right along with them. 

Every night Blair had a nightmare about calling his lover   
names right before he died. He could hardly stand it   
anymore. 

As the weeks went on, he found it wasn't getting easier.   
For some reason it was getting harder. He dreamed of his   
mate all the time. Jim was calling out to him. He needed   
help. 

Three months after Jim died his Jaguar showed himself to   
Blair. Blair picked up his cell phone and called Simon. 

"Banks."

"Simon, Jim's spirit animal is here, pacing and screaming   
at the top of its lungs. What's going on?" Blair was on the   
verge of panic.

"Oh my god. He has to be alive. I'll start doing some   
checking around. I need you to look at all of the cases he   
was working on. Someone has him, Blair. And he needs our   
help." Simon hung up with new energy in his step. 

Blair called Linda to come and stay with the kids. He   
needed to get to work and soon. 

When he arrived at the station, everyone was there already   
starting the search. 

Blair sat down at Jim's desk and started his computer. He   
went through every single file that was on it. He had five   
maybes. Everyone else were going through their files and   
doing the same thing. 

The elevator dinged and Dan got off. He walked over to   
Blair and said, "God, I'm so sorry."

"So sorry about what?"

"We should have figured it out before now. He's been   
somewhere for three months. How awful is that?" Dan was   
very upset. 

"Want to help me?" Blair asked him. 

"I would love to help." So Dan started going through things   
that no one else would look for and came up with one   
person. Dan had to run a few tests and then he would know   
for sure. 

Two hours later, Dan came back to MC and said, "I think I   
know who did it and why."

"Who?" Blair asked. 

"Her name is Amelia Corez. Her son was diagnosed with a   
rare cancer and wasn't treated. Jim was the arresting   
officer of the case and it was thrown out of court. Not   
because of Jim, but because of the lawyers. Both lawyer and   
DA were in horrible accidents, do you all remember that?"   
Dan watched as everyone shook their head yes. 

"So anyhow, there was only one person left to blame and   
that would be Jim. She knew her son was almost dead, so   
they must have decided to kill him and make Blair and all   
of us suffer. I ran the tests and the tissue samples we   
took were never run. There seemed to have been no need.   
Anyhow, it's the rare type of cancer I was telling you   
about. We'll go there and we might find Jim."

Simon stood there with his mouth open. "God, could it be   
that easy?"

Blair turned away from them and stared at Jim's spirit   
animal. "We have to hurry. I think he's dying."

Simon got Ms. Corez's address from the computer and they   
all took off in different cars. They also called an   
ambulance, just in case. 

When they pulled up Blair tried to run right up but Simon   
held him back. "Let Joel check it out first." 

Joel came out with a screaming woman attached to him.   
Connor took hold of her and put her in cuffs. She glanced   
at Joel and he said, "He's in there."

Joel walked over and said, "He's been kept in a sound proof   
room, with no bathroom or anything else. He's been in   
there for three months. It's not good." 

Blair said, "I'll get him out. He'll come to me."

Once inside the house Blair was losing nerve. It was worse   
when he heard Jim scream for him. He got to the room and   
opened the door and saw something he would never forget.   
Jim was covered in filth, his hair was long and filthy and   
his body was covered in open sores and burns. 

"Jim, I'm here." Blair whispered. 

Jim looked up at Blair and said, "Chief, I want you to take   
me home."

Blair walked into the room and Jim realized that Blair   
really was there. "Don't touch me. I need to get this   
filth off of me first. Now."

"There is a shower over in the next room. How about that?"   
Blair tried to help him up but Jim wouldn't let him touch   
him. 

He got in the shower and it was like having an orgasm. His   
skin felt wonderful. Blair handed him more soap and   
shampoo and Jim felt alive again. 

Simon needed to ask him about how they got a hold of him.   
"Jim, how in the world did they get your SUV?"

"They were broke down on the side of the road.   
I was helping when she hit me with a tazer. That's the   
last thing I remember." Jim answered quickly. He didn't   
want to remember. 

Simon left him to shower in peace and went upstairs to   
write down all of his notes. 

Dan then walked in to the bathroom and said, "Blair, I'm   
going to check Jim out.   
Could I do that alone?"

"I'll be right outside the door Jim."

"Thanks, Chief."

Dan began to check Jim for everything and found he had been   
burned over and over again with a tazer weapon. They would   
heal up soon enough. Before long Dan found out that the   
woman had probably starved Jim. He was about 20 or more pounds   
underweight. 

Blair knocked on the door and said, "They have a blanket   
for you Jim. They want to take you to the hospital, right   
now."

"Okay." Jim shut the water off and began to dry off as well   
as he could. Dan was in the process of helping when Blair   
walked in.

Blair put the blanket around Jim's shoulders and began to   
help him out to the ambulance. "Thanks for finding me   
Chief."

"It was Dan. He figured it out. Thank him." Blair smiled   
over at Dan. 

Jim could sense a difference in Blair and it wasn't a good   
one. He figured they would talk once everyone left them   
alone. 

The ordeal at the hospital was worse than he ever imagined.   
Once they were done putting dressings on all of the burns   
he lay in bed and listened for the sound of his lover. Jim   
realized Blair wasn't in the fucking hospital. 

Joel walked in and said, "How are you doing Jim?"

"I'm fine. Where in the fuck is Sandburg?"

"It's good to see you alive." Joel smiled. 

"It's good to see you too, Joel. Now where is Blair?"

"Well Blair is a bit of a mess these months. He thought you   
died and you both had a fight right before you came home.   
So that's all he thinks about." Joel explained. 

"He's staying away from me? Did he leave me?" Jim asked. 

"Jim, he thought you were dead. He didn't have to go   
anywhere. He's at home if that's what you're asking. But   
he never got over that guilt."

"I'll call him and ask him to come up." Jim picked up the   
phone. 

"It's not going to be that easy, Jim."

"Why?"

"You'll have to talk to him." Joel said as he got closer to   
the door. "Take care of yourself. I'll see you tomorrow."

Jim sat there and thought about what Joel said. What if   
Blair fell in love with someone else? Oh god, that would be   
the worst thing in the world. Jim picked up the phone and   
dialed. 

"Sandburg."

"Chief, did you find someone else?" Jim Ellison then began   
to cry very softly. 

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't love me anymore. I can tell. You're not up   
here. You haven't hugged me, kissed me or called me."

"Jim, I'm tired and I have the kids to worry about." Blair   
sounded really cold. 

"Blair, please come and see me. I need you to hold me.   
Please?" Jim wasn't above begging. 

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't bother." Jim slammed the phone down and curled up   
into a ball on the bed. Why was life never easy for them,   
he wondered? 

Everyone came up the next day except for Blair. Jim was   
going to be dismissed that afternoon and he called Simon. 

"Banks."

"Simon, could you pick me up and take me home late this   
afternoon?"

"Jim, why don't you have Sandburg do it?"

"He's not talking to me. I just want to see my kids and   
sleep in my bed. Could you do that for me?" Jim hoped that   
would work. 

"Sure. I'll be there at four." Simon hung up and called   
Blair into his office. 

"What's going on? You haven't seen Jim since we found him.   
And he just called me to take him home. Talk to me,   
Sandburg."

"Simon, I met someone else and I don't know how to tell him   
that." Blair looked out the window so he wouldn't have to   
face his boss and friend. 

"Bullshit. You didn't find anyone else. You've been lost   
since he died and then you looked worse when we found out he was   
alive." Simon wanted to know what was wrong. 

"Whatever. I have work to do Simon." Blair walked to the   
door and Simon stopped him. "Sandburg, you're going to get   
him right now. Get your ass in gear. We can all die. So   
pushing him away isn't going to work."

"Fine, I'll go and get him. Geeze. You're a bossy boss."   
Blair stormed out of the office and then the bullpen. 

Jim was dressed and ready to go, even though it was only   
morning. He wanted out of here so badly. He heard Blair's   
heartbeat and his sped up too. 

Blair opened the door and said, "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Jim smiled at him and watched Blair go over   
to the window. He wouldn't look at Jim at all. 

Jim just sat there in silence and waited for Blair to break   
it. Finally Blair walked over to the bed and said, "I'm   
glad you're alive."

"Me too." Jim said laughing. 

"It's not fucking funny." Blair said as tears started   
rolling down his cheeks. 

"Chief, come here." Jim ordered this time. 

Blair fell into Jim's open arms and had himself a good cry.   
"Chief, I can't promise I won't die, but I can promise that   
no matter what we said before I die, I'll still love you."

"Jim, people don't understand that those last words haunt   
you forever. Or for three months, whichever comes sooner."   
Blair said sadly. 

"Do the kids know that I'm alive?"

"Not yet. I wouldn't have ever gotten them to school. So   
get ready for them to crawl all over you. They've been   
sleeping with me since this all happened. We sleep in the   
spare room." 

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry that you had to suffer." Jim leaned   
down and kissed Blair for the first time since he was back   
among the living. 

"Let's go home, big man." Blair led him out, signed the   
papers and they went home. 

Blair picked the kids up at the Center and drove home.   
They were almost always quiet these days. They got inside   
the house and Blair said, "Oh I need you to get something   
off of Daddy's bed."

Both kids walked in and screamed, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy."

"Daddy, did your penis fall off? Is that where you've   
been? Let me see if it's a new one." Jade was very   
excited. 

"Jadey, it's my old one. Ask Poppy and it's just fine."

"Daddy where you been?" Drake tried to be brave, but he   
began to cry. 

Jim explained all about the bad woman and why she did it.   
Both children were in shock that someone would do that to   
their Daddy. 

Jim got up to help with dinner, but before he left the   
bedroom, he showed the kids the burns. He didn't want them   
freaking out in the middle of the night. 

Blair smiled as Jim helped him in the kitchen and both the   
kids had a hold of Jim's legs. 

"Kiddo's, why don't you let Daddy have some room?" Blair   
asked. 

"We don't want him to go again." Drake answered. 

Jim knew that they would have to deal with all of that as   
time went on. In the mean time, life was going to get back   
to normal. Or at least as normal as it ever was with Jim   
and Blair. 

Things would be fine. Jim and Blair would get back to   
normal and the kids would follow suit. 

Life was once again, good.

 

End: Sullivan's Pub Part 50

Thanks for reading. Come again soon.


	51. Love Quotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love Quotes at Sullivan's. All have angst and fun.

Sullivan's Pub Part 51  
Love Quotes  
Author: Patt  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 05/22/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Author's Notes: Another fun one. 

Summary: Love Quotes at Sullivan's. All has angst and fun. 

Warnings: m/m m/f   
No beta. 

___________________________________________________________

Sullivan's Pub Part 51  
Love Quotes  
Patt

Tonight would be a nice evening if Connor had to smack each   
of those men up side the head. 

Sully sat down next to her and said, "Have you noticed that   
those men fight more than women do?"

"Oh hell yes." Sam answered, laughing.

"What are we going to do tonight, Megan?" Sully asked. 

"Love Quotes. Do you agree with them, or do you think it's   
a bunch of crap?" Connor giggled along with the other two   
women. 

"Hi guys, get on in here. We're ready." Sully shouted. 

All of the men walked in and sat down. Connor opened her   
book and said, "Okay, we're going to do love quotes. Do   
you like them? Would you use them? Are they a load of   
crap? Here we go."

 

Connor: Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for   
the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. --   
Woody Allen 

Jim: What is it with you and Woody Allen?

Connor: That's not what you're supposed to ask. 

Jim: I think this is probably true. I mean, I found love   
with Blair, but it wasn't like I went without sex while I   
waited.

Blair: You are so fucking sweet. And I agree. 

Joel: I think I agree too. Until you hit that person you   
love, you tend to just want sex. 

Brown: I'm still doing that. 

Rafe: (laughing) You better not be. 

Brown: With you, you nut.

Simon: God, this is going to suck. I hate sappy ones   
Connor.

Sully: That's why she picked it out special for you.

Dan: I agree with Woody. If not, I would have had a non-  
stop woody for years. 

Sam: You're so cute, Danny. 

Simon: There, let's move on now while it's still not making   
me throw up.

 

Connor: The last time I was inside a woman was when I went   
to the Statue of Liberty.  
=Woody Allen 

Jim: Well I feel this way sometimes. 

Blair: (smacks Jim on the back of the head.) You better   
feel this way forever, bub. 

Jim: Bub?

Joel: I don't feel this way at all. I have a wonderful   
woman to slide into whenever I want. 

Jim: Sure make us feel bad. 

Blair: (Smacks Jim on the head again.) You better watch it.

Rafe: I feel this way sometimes too, Ellison. 

Brown: Well I can fix that for you.

Rafe: How?

Brown: I'll get you a woman and I'll move out.

Rafe: Get a grip Henry. I was teasing. 

Brown: Fuck you. 

Jim: And the winner is, Henry in the second question,   
saying fuck you to his beloved Rafe. 

Everyone starts to laugh. 

Sully: Well Simon knows he can slip into me whenever he   
wants too. Speaking of that, how often does everyone do   
it?

Simon: Sully, please. 

Sully: I'm serious. 

Sam: Dan and I do it at least three times a week and then I   
do it with Jim twice a week. (Laughing)

Dan: I love sliding home. 

Jim: We do it at least three times a week. 

Blair: He does it three times a week; I do it about seven   
times a week. 

Sully: You mean with someone else?

Blair: No, I have a stronger sex drive. 

Jim: I'll show you stronger later tonight. We really do it   
three to four times a week, everyone.

Joel: Meggie and I do it three or four times a week. 

Connor: He does and he does it well. 

Rafe: We do it at least three times a week. 

Brown: I must sleep through part of them. (Laughing.)

Rafe: I'm going to beat your ass. 

Brown: Oh, I love when he gets all caveman on me. 

Sully: So everyone should be doing it that often? 

Connor: I think it's all up to the couple. They have to   
find something that works for both of them. How often do   
you do it?

Simon: It's no one's business. 

Sully: We do it once every two weeks.

Simon: I don't want them to know that.

Sully: I miss you fucking me. I want you fucking me more.   
Do you not find me attractive since I had Simone? 

Simon: I love you more than you'll ever know. I'll work on   
it, babe. Now could we move on Connor? 

 

Connor: A woman's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from   
admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. --   
Jane Austen

Jim: I think that Blair's is rapid too. (Laughing)

Blair: Hey I think about marriage. Not to you, but to some   
nice girl I could slide into. 

Joel: You two are too funny. I agree with this. Women do   
move faster than men. 

Rafe: Hey, I beat out Connor last week on chasing that   
suspect. 

Connor: I let you. You're such a wuss. 

Brown: He is not. 

Connor: Yes he is. He whines if I don't let him win at   
poker and catch the crooks. 

Joel: Rafe, do you do that?

Rafe: Yes I do, Joel. Someone has to make her life a   
living hell. It's not you. (Laughing)

Brown: There's that. 

Simon: I think Sully always knew what she wanted. 

Sully: I did. I wanted you, baby. 

Simon: She's a very smart woman. (Big smile on his face)

Dan: I know that Sam knew from the beginning that we were   
meant to be. 

Sam: I did. I've never been able to make a man come in his   
pants, while being surrounded by his friends from work. It   
was fucking love. 

Everyone started laughing. 

Simon: OH look, there's a lull in the action. We could   
move on Missy.

 

Connor: It is impossible to love and be wise. --   
Francis Bacon 

Jim: Boy, is this one ever true. It's an up and down   
battle with love. And I haven't been wise since I fell   
deeply and madly in love with Blair. 

Blair: You are so going to get lucky, big man. 

Joel: It sounds like he's almost always lucky. I know I   
am. 

Connor: Thank you honey bear. 

Rafe: I'm never wise anymore. H has made me brain dead. 

Brown: But think how much fun you had. 

Rafe: Oh yeah. 

Simon: I agree with this one. I can't think with my head   
anymore. 

Sully: Really? 

Simon: Yeah. Every time I see you in the shower I want to   
jump your bones. 

Connor: Why don't you?

Sam: Yeah. 

Simon: I'll work on it, Sully. 

Everyone saw how sad Sully was and knew that there was a   
problem. 

Dan: Well I can't think with my big head either. And   
Simon, did you have trouble making love to Sully without   
thinking about the birth process?

Simon: Yeah, I'm having some trouble with that. 

Dan: Well get over it, cuz boy am I having fun.

Simon: With Sam you mean?

Dan: Of course with Sam, whom did you think I meant?

Simon: You could probably move this one along.

 

Connor: Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're   
looking for, go live with a car battery. -- Erma Bombeck

 

Jim: I disagree with this one. 

Blair: I think it's true. You can't count on anything. 

Jim: You don't have faith in us?

Blair: Yeah, but that doesn't mean something might not come   
up. 

Joel: I agree with Blair. There is always something that   
could happen. 

Connor: Not if I can help it, honey bear. 

Joel: Thank you, sugar. 

Rafe: I agree with Sandburg too. 

Brown: But you believe in us, right?

Rafe: Of course I do. 

Brown: Just checking. 

Simon: I agree with Sandburg also, but believe in me and   
Sully big time. 

Sully: Thank you. I love you. (Kisses her man.)

Dan: I agree with Sandburg too, but agree with everyone   
else in believing in our mates. 

Sam: I hope so. I love you, baby. 

Simon: Wow. Look at that Connor. You could move this one   
along. 

 

Connor: Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in   
control of the switch.  
Cathy Carlyle 

Jim: This is sooooooo true. 

Blair: So you think I have too much control over you.

Jim: Sometimes.

Blair: Maybe I'll step back and let you control your own   
fucking life from now on. 

Joel: Guys, don't get started. I believe this one to be   
true. 

Rafe: Brown pushes my buttons right and left. 

Brown: I do not. 

Rafe: Yes, you do. 

Brown: Sandburg, want to sleep at my house tonight? We   
could watch a movie and eat popcorn. 

Blair: Sounds good to me. Rafe and Jim can hang out and   
sleep together for all I care. 

Jim: Knock it off, Chief. 

Simon: See, they always have to fight. And Sandburg you   
always need to be in control. 

Blair: Oh fuck you. 

Sully: Let's be nice guys. 

Simon: I think Sully knows all of my buttons too. 

Sully: Well if I did, I wouldn't be walking around horny. 

Simon: I can't believe you just said that. 

Sully: I can't believe you don't want to fuck me. I bet   
someone else here wouldn't feel bad about it at all. 

Simon: They would after I got done with them. 

Dan: Okay, this is getting out of hand. I think that Sam   
also pushes my buttons but I love being controlled, so it   
works. 

Sam: Oh goody. 

Simon: Are we done yet? 

 

Connor: The trouble with some women is that they get all   
excited about nothing -- and then marry him. -- Cher 

Jim: Well this is just plain mean. 

Blair: Now see I think it's not only funny, but also   
fucking true. 

Jim: Chief, knock it off. Let's be nice. 

Blair: You used to be so nice to me and then we committed   
and you treat me bad now. 

Jim: I do not. I adore you. 

Joel: I think you need help on this. I'm here to say Jim   
does adore you. And you adore him back. So shut up both   
of you. Meggie, I don't think this is true at all. The   
saying, I mean. 

Connor: Me either. 

Rafe: I don't like Cher. 

Brown: Who cares? That's not what you're supposed to say. 

Rafe: She's a man hater. 

Sam: I think he's right. 

Dan: Then it must be true. (Kissing Sam)

Simon: I don't like anything about her.

Sully: Guys, it's not about Cher. It's about what she   
said. 

Simon: Well we're tired of her, so let's move on. 

 

Connor: Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm   
your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.--   
Joan Crawford

Jim: Blair burns down the house, hands down. 

Blair: All right. Now you're cooking with gas. Jim does   
too. 

Joel: Do you suppose either of them are wrong answers?   
Meggie, you burn down our house. 

Connor: I think that one is you love the person dearly, but   
there is no passion. The other is there is tons of   
passion. 

Simon: Sully burns down my house. 

Sully: Simon, I haven't burned it down in ages. 

Sully moved over to Simon's lap and began to make out with   
her husband. She moved around on his lap making his cock   
hard as a rock. 

Everyone just watched them trying to figure out what to do.   
Sully leaned in closer to Simon and whispered, "Take my   
panties off baby."

Simon did just that. He knew that her long skirt would   
cover her. Sully then opened up his jeans and pulled his   
cock out of his boxers. 

She then slid onto his cock, making him moan. Simon forgot   
where he was. In his mind all that mattered was how good   
Sully felt at that time. 

"Simon, fuck me faster and harder. Show me how much you   
love me." Sully said loud enough for everyone to hear. 

Simon did just that. He was fucking her harder than he'd   
ever fucked her. He whispered, "Baby, I'm really close."   
Sully let out a whimper and came moaning his name. Simon   
pumped up into her four more times and came explosively. 

They stayed that way for a while and then finally Sully got   
her panties back on and got Simon's cock back in his jeans. 

"Well that was fun." Sully said smirking at Simon. 

"It was." Simon kissed her and then said, "Sorry everyone."

Jim: I loved it. Turned me on like mad. 

Blair: Me too. I could pound Jim into the mattress right   
now. 

Connor: Whoa, I need my honey bear. 

Joel: In a little bit, baby. 

Sam: I have to say that it bothered me cuz it was my sister   
and I still got hot. 

Dan: We'll take care of that later. 

Rafe: I want to fuck Sully. 

Brown: (Smacking Rafe on the shoulder) Not even close to   
being funny. 

 

Connor: I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever   
known. -- Walt Disney 

 

Jim: I don't get this one. 

Blair: Tell me about it. And I might have damn nightmares   
from now on. 

Joel: I don't get it either. 

Sully: It might mean that sometimes you don't have to   
actually love a person to be happy?

Simon: Oh, that makes sense. It's stupid, but it makes   
sense. 

Rafe: I agree with Simon. 

Brown: I love Mickey Mouse.

Rafe: What the hell do you mean by that?

Brown: Nothing, I just love Mickey. 

Dan: I love Mickey too, but I'd rather have my real woman. 

Sam: Good. 

Simon: Are we done yet? 

Connor: Women marry men hoping they will change.  
Men marry women hoping they will not.  
So each is inevitably disappointed.  
Albert Einstein 

 

Jim: I knew I would have to change and I'm okay with that.   
I knew all along Blair wouldn't change for me. He's too   
strong willed. 

Blair: Me? Mr. Ranger. Mr. I know how to kill a man in 200   
ways? Give me a break. You bend a little but I can't bend   
you much at all. 

Joel: Blair, Jim bends for you all the time. And I don't   
mean in a fun way. 

Blair: Joel that's not fair. 

Simon: Life isn't fair, Sandburg. But you do most of the   
pushing in your house. In my house, Sully bends a lot. 

Sully: This is true. 

Sam: Well Dan is the bend-ee in our relationship. He'll do   
just about anything for me.

Dan: I would do anything for you. A lot like Jim would do   
for Blair. 

Rafe: I'm the rigid one in our relationship. I'll try and   
work on it Henry. 

Brown: Okay. Can't ask for more than that. 

Simon: Oh look at the time. 

 

Connor: Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not   
satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really   
like. -- Adrienne Gusoff

Jim: I've never been unsatisfied with Blair. 

Blair: I haven't with you either. How about with Carolyn?

Jim: This isn't about Carolyn. 

Blair: So you didn't satisfy her?

Jim: Maybe. 

Blair: She was nuts.

Jim: Thanks Chief. 

Blair: Did she satisfy you?

Jim: Not always. 

Joel: Meggie always satisfies me. 

Connor: Joel has never left me wanting for anything. 

Rafe: I never wanted anything more. 

Brown: Same here. 

Sully: Simon always makes me come. (Kisses him)

Simon: Sully always makes me feel wonderful. 

Sully: What about Joan?

Simon: What about her?

Sully: Did you feel you satisfied her all of those years?

Simon: No. 

Sully: Did she satisfy you?

Simon: Yes. 

Sully: I don't get it.

Simon: She was willing to do anything, while I on the other   
hand was close-minded and cold. A lot like I am now. I'm   
working on it, Sully. 

Sam: I'm satisfied all the time. 

Dan: I'm so glad we do that for each other. 

Simon: Sully, did you hear the baby cry? (Smiles)

 

Connor: The only people who make love all the time are   
liars. -- Louis Jordan 

Jim: I'm not a liar. 

Blair: He's not. We do make love a lot. 

Joel: I think we all do. 

Sully: I think we might start. 

Simon: Oh yeah. 

Sam: We're not liar's either. 

Dan: I think Rafe and Brown are. 

Rafe: Fuck you Dan. 

Dan: Talk to my wife first. 

Brown: (Howling) Can we Sam?

Sam: Nope. He's all mine.

Simon: Jim, are you missing Jade rubbing your penis?

Jim: What? (Shocked!!!)

Simon: I mean, do you want to go home so she can be sure   
it's still there?

Jim: Very funny. Talk about giving someone a heart attack. 

 

Connor: Marrying a man is like buying something you've been   
admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it   
when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with   
everything else in the house. -- Jean Kerr

 

Jim: I'm happy. I don't want to trade him in. 

Blair: (Kisses him) Same here. 

Joel: I'm happier than I ever thought I would be. 

Connor: I am too, baby. 

Rafe: I'm happy. 

Brown: I think we're both happy. 

Rafe: You think?

Brown: Sorry, we are both happy. 

Rafe: You better change that. 

Sully: I'm very happy. 

Simon: I'll never trade you in. 

Sam: I love Dan and wouldn't trade him for the world. 

Dan: I love you too baby. I'm very happy. 

Simon: Time to move on?

Connor: I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,   
natural, wholesome things that money can buy. -- Steve   
Martin 

 

Jim: (falling off the chair.) Oh god, this is funny. 

Blair: What's so funny about it?

Jim: We all think this is like a hooker type thing, but we   
all get paid in some way. Blair, you cook something   
wonderful for me and I give you sex. That's payment. I   
want sex from you; I fix your Santa Fe up and keep it   
running smoothly. Then you give me sex. See what I mean? 

Blair: You're right. We do that don't we? 

Rafe: We do it too. 

Brown: Do we ever. 

Joel: I know I bribe Meggie all the time. 

Connor: Honey bear, I do it too. 

Sully: Do we do this, Simon?

Simon: We sure do.

Dan: I know that we do it. 

Sam: Honey, this is normal.

Dan: So we're not all sluts and whores?

Sam: Yes, we are, but we're sluts and whores in love. 

Jim: Good one, Sam. 

Blair: I agree with Sam and Dan. 

Simon: I'm not a whore.

Sully: Did anyone take a camcorder of what we did earlier?

Simon: What has that to do with anything?

Sully: We're all sluts at heart, Simon. I love that you let   
yourself relax and show me your slutty side. 

Simon: I'm never going to live this down.

Rafe: No one could see anything, Simon. Sully's dress was   
covering you. 

Brown: Damn it anyhow.

Simon: You're all going to get more work starting tomorrow. 

Joel: I thought it was very sexy and romantic, Simon. So I   
would watch you again if you wanted to do it. 

Simon: Could we move on, Connor? 

 

Connor: If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come   
there are so many books on how to do it? -- Bette Midler

Jim: I don't understand. 

Blair: Maybe she's saying that you can never know enough   
about sex. Get all the books you can and practice,   
practice, practice.

Joel: I don't think so. I think she's asking why if it's   
supposed to be so natural and normal, do so many folks need   
help.

Simon: I think Joel is right. 

Blair: Well I believe that the books are wonderful. So I'm   
going with that. 

Rafe: I think the books are great too. We've learned a   
great deal from them. And I love showing Henry just how   
much I adore him. 

Sully: I want to see some of those books.

Simon: They're gay books, Sully. 

Sully: Maybe I would like seeing and reading about gay sex.   
How do you know?

Brown: You can borrow any of ours. Jim and Blair have   
others at their place. 

Jim: We do.

Sam: I might want to read them too. 

Dan: You go, girl. 

Simon: Oh for god's sake, can we move on?

 

Connor: It's been so long since I made love,  
I can't even remember who gets tied up. -- Joan Rivers 

 

Sully: Has anyone ever tied his or her partner up? Or   
handcuffs?

Jim: Yeah, Blair and I have. 

Simon: Well tell us all about it. (Said sarcastically.)

Jim: Well we both love being cuffed to the bed. Hands and   
feet, both cuffed. That way we can't get away and can't   
move much. I love when Blair takes charge and makes me come   
even when I don't want to. 

Joel: We'll talk more about this later Jim. Sounds like   
fun. 

Blair: It is. I also love to be cuffed and Jim to make me   
come. It's the only time I let loose and let him control   
me. 

Rafe: We love it too for the same reasons. 

Brown: Oh yeah. I'm hard just thinking about it. 

Dan: Tell me about it.

Sam: We'll try it one of these nights, sugar.

Jim: Won't Dan get upset?

Everyone laughed. 

Sully: I want to do this, Simon. 

Simon: Okay. 

Sully: What do you think of it?

Simon: I'm going to come in my pants if I think on it any   
longer.

Sully: Okay, baby. 

Simon: Connor, are we done yet?

 

Connor: True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about   
it, but few of us have ever seen one. -- La Rochefoucauld

 

Jim: Not true. I found true love. 

Blair: We both did, Jim. (Leans in for a kiss.)

Rafe: I know we found true love. 

Brown: We're blessed. (Kissing commences) 

Joel: Meggie and I are blessed too. Not only did we find   
true love, but also have a precious angel to boot. 

Connor: I agree with my precious husband. I love you,   
Joel. (They kiss)

Simon: I have found true love with Sully and then found it   
again with our little girl.

Sully: Oh Simon you are the most romantic man I've ever   
met. I love you. (Sits on his lap and begins to kiss him.)

Everyone gave them a few minutes and realized that Simon   
was getting more into this then he was before. 

"Baby, I want to fuck you so bad." 

"When we get home, okay?" Sully kissed him once more before   
she left his lap. 

Dan: I can't believe you left him hanging. 

Sully: He wasn't hanging. It was standing straight up and   
hard as a rock. (Laughs.)

Sam: Fuck him Sully. He wants you so much. 

Jim: Don't let us stop you.

Blair: Don't let us slow you down. 

Rafe: Don't let us keep you doing the survey. 

Sully: No, I want him at home. He's going to lick me, suck   
me and finally fuck me all night long. 

Simon: Come here.

Sully: No, not until we get home. I want it my way. 

Connor: It's time to move on. 

Simon: Hey, that's my job. 

Connor: Yeah, but all of the blood from your brain went to   
the smaller head.

Everyone laughed. 

 

Connor: All marriages are happy. It's trying to live   
together afterwards that causes all the problems.  
Shelley Winters 

Jim: This is so not true. Yes, they need work, but it   
isn't because you live together. 

Blair: I agree. 

Brown: Same here. 

Rafe: I love you babe.

Connor: I agree with Jim too. 

Joel: Me too, baby. 

Simon: It's Shelley Winters that had the trouble, not the   
marriage. 

Everyone laughs. 

Sully: I agree with that stud muffin down at the end of the   
table. What's his name? I can't remember because all of   
my blood flow has gone to a different part of my body too. 

Jim: Stud muffin will do. I like that. 

Sam: You're such a slut. 

Dan: But she's Simon's slut. 

Simon: Yes she is. 

Sam: We feel the same as Jim and Blair too. 

Dan: We sure do.

Simon: Look Connor we could move it along. 

 

Connor: Love doesn't make the world go round. It makes the   
ride worthwhile.  
Anonymous 

 

Jim: Here, here.

Blair: God, you're getting so fucking lucky tonight.

Jim: I love you, Chief.

Blair: And I love you too, Jim. 

Simon: I want this on a shirt. I love it. (Kisses Sully.)

Sully: Get us matching ones baby. 

Sam: I love this saying too. I love you, Danny. 

Dan: I love you, Sammy. 

Rafe: I love you Henry, so very much. 

Brown: And I love you that much back. 

Joel: I love you Meggie. 

Conner: I love you, honey bear. I think this would be a   
good spot to close for tonight. Thank you all for coming. 

Everyone talked as they walked out to the parking lot. All   
of them knew that they were getting sex as soon as they   
walked into their homes. 

"Jim, Simon and Sully are still in the parking lot. Are   
they fooling around?" Blair whispered. 

"I don't know. I wasn't listening."

"So start." Blair teased. 

Jim turned up his hearing and was pretty shocked. 

"No, he is just sweet talking her. He really loves her."   
Jim said in awe. 

"Do you think he just realized it tonight?"

"I think he knew, he just forgot for a short time. Things   
are looking up for our sweet Sully." Jim smiled at his   
love. 

"So get driving so we can begin our fun." Blair was humming   
with excitement. 

Jim burned rubber out of the parking lot. 

Love is like a night at Sullivan's Pub. Listening to   
friends, family and loved ones talk to their better half.   
We all know that sometimes things are hard, but we also   
know that chances are Simon will eventually come. 

I couldn't resist. Have a good night. Thank you for   
reading and come back soon. 

End Sullivan's Pub 51


	52. Signs of Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny signs at Sullivan’s. Jim’s not a happy camper. Blair is helping in Vice again. Fun and Angst.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 52  
Signs of Laughter  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 05/27/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Fun and serious. Have to have the mixture. The ammo was given to me by Kris, aka, BatsRGr8@aol.com . Thanks, Kris. 

Summary: Funny signs at Sullivan’s. Jim’s not a happy camper. Blair is helping in Vice again. Fun and Angst. 

Warnings: m/m   
No beta. 

___________________________________________________________  
Sullivan’s Pub Part 52  
Signs of Laughter  
Patt

 

“Did you all hear that Sandy is working in Vice again? How is Jimbo taking it?” Connor asked her friends. 

“How do you think he’s taking it? Not well.” Simon growled. 

“Are they coming tonight?” Sully asked. 

“Ellison is coming but I doubt that Sandburg will make it here on time.” Simon answered. 

Jim walked in the doorway and wasn’t happy at all. “Hey everyone.”

Connor: Hi Jim. 

Joel: How are you doing tonight, Jim?

Jim: Good Joel. Thanks. 

Simon: How are the kids?

Jim: They’re good, Simon. You saw them an hour ago. 

Simon: Oh yeah. 

Jim: What’s going on? 

Dan: I think we’re worried about our friend. 

Jim: Blair is just fine. Don’t worry. 

Sam: I think he was talking about you, Jim.

Jim: OH. Thanks well I’m fine. 

Rafe: How is Sandburg?

Jim: Who knows? I seldom see him these days. 

Brown: Are you talking to him?

Jim: Well of course I’m talking to him. We have children; I can’t let them see I’m pissed off. 

Simon: This might be a good time to tell us about our survey, Connor. 

Connor: Tonight’s survey is funny signs you would see in different places. Would you put one up in your house? Do you think it’s funny? 

 

Connor: Friends don't let friends take home ugly men  
Women's restroom Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

 

Jim: I think this is a little mean. 

Joel: I think it’s a lot mean. 

Sully: I’ve thought this sometimes. 

Sam: So have I. 

Simon: You’re kidding? 

Sully: Well Simon, not everyone is as gorgeous as you men. 

Joel: I like that Sully. 

Connor: It’s true. All of you guys are beautiful. But some of the guys I used to see at the bars were gross. 

Rafe: I agree. 

Brown: You best not be looking at any other men. 

Rafe: I never do. I have what I want. 

Brown: You are getting so lucky tonight. 

Jim: Could I come down? 

Rafe: Where? 

Jim: To your house, he said you’re getting lucky and I want to be lucky too. 

Brown: Ellison better watch out, he’s getting pissed. 

Jim leaned into Rafe and kissed him and said, “Sorry.”

Rafe: I just don’t share well.

Jim: None of us do.

Simon: This would be a good time to move it along, Connor. 

 

Connor: Beauty is only a light switch away. Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

 

Connor: Now guys, think about this. Years ago did you ever get so horny that you took someone home that you felt was sort of ugly? 

Jim: No, I don’t think so. Or at least that I remember. 

Joel: I find something beautiful in everyone. 

Connor: But Honey bear, if you have to look really hard, they might be ugly. 

Jim: Connor, knock it off. 

Joel: They might have been. 

Connor: I rest my case. 

Rafe: I’ve thought this a few times. 

Brown: I’ve never thought this. 

Rafe: That’s because you’re St. Henry. 

Brown: Fuck you. 

Simon: Okay, that’s enough St. Henry. (Laughing)

Sully: So Simon, did you ever do this or think this?

Simon: I don’t think so. 

Dan: I know I’ve never thought it. 

Sam: Never?

Dan: Never. I’m one of those weird people that tend to wait to see if a person is beautiful until I look them in the eye. Then I decide. After that decision is made I don’t see anything but beauty. 

Jim: I like that Dan. 

Joel: So do I. I think we can all learn from this. 

Sam: He better not be still looking for beauty in the eyes. 

Dan: (Laughing) Not anymore, Sam. 

Simon: Oh look, we can move on. 

 

Connor: If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC

 

Joel: This is so Blair isn’t it Jim?

Jim: It sure is. 

Dan: I think so too. I think we’re missing him tonight.

Jim: I know I am.

Sully: We all do, Jim.

Sam: Are you handling him working there, all right?

Jim: No. I never handle anything all right. I’ve made him angry and that might throw him off his game. Dangerous shit to pull.

Simon: I’m sure he’ll be fine. 

Dan: I know he will. He’s a good cop, Jim. 

Jim: I know.

Rafe: He’s a great cop. 

Brown: He is. 

Sully: So what’s he doing?

Simon: He’s working for Vice, since they needed someone that looked just like Sandburg for the sting. That’s all I can say now. 

Joel: Well I hope he comes later on tonight. I want to see him. 

Simon: Wow, is it time to move along?

 

Connor: Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's  
"Hi, how are you?"  
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

 

Joel: Oh god, this is funny. I want one of these for our entryway honey.

Connor: You got it. 

Jim: It is funny. It also reminds me of Blair. 

Joel: It did me too Jim, but I didn’t want to upset you. 

Jim: It’s not like he’s dead. He’s only on a stakeout. 

Simon: I like this sign too. 

Sully: Very funny stuff, Megan. 

Dan: I love it too.

Sam: I want this one on a tee shirt. (Giggling)

Rafe: I think it’s a hoot too. 

Brown: I want a matching shirt to wear with Sam. 

Sam: Oh goody. 

Simon: Wow, moving right along. 

 

Connor: Fighting for peace is like  
Fucking for virginity.  
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO

 

Joel: This one makes sense. 

Jim: Well, sometimes you have to fight for peace. And sometimes you just need to fuck for that virginity. 

Sam: (Falls out of her chair.) Mr. Ellison, do you need a spanking?

Jim: I’m a virgin Sam, will that bother you?

Sam: Dan, do you mind if I spank Jim?

Dan: I believe I do mind. 

Jim: Damn. And the night was looking promising. 

Rafe: I think that you have to sometimes fight for peace also. 

Brown: I’d rather fuck for virginity myself. 

Rafe: I’m going to fuck you. 

Brown: I hope so. 

Simon: I think you have to do whatever you can for peace and the virginity stuff you just need to leave alone. 

Sully: He’s such a prude. 

Simon: I am not. 

Sully: Are too. 

Joel: Do I have to separate you two?

Simon: This would be a good spot to move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.  
Men's Room  
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

 

Jim: This is mean. I would never think that. 

Joel: I wouldn’t either Jim. 

Connor: Neither of you would wonder how a nice girl like that has still stayed single?

Jim: No I would wonder how a nice girl like that is spending time with me. 

Everyone laughs. 

Simon: I think I would be thinking the same thing. 

Sully: Good boy. 

Rafe: If a guy or girl paid too much attention to me, I would wonder why. Not why about them, but why they want me. 

Brown: I think we’re all insecure. What do you think?

Dan: I think we might be. I feel the same way as the rest of you. 

Sam: I’m so proud of you guys. You did well with this one. 

Simon: Connor, we can move. Woo Hoo. 

 

Connor: At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.  
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

Jim: Sounds like a fortune cookie. Tucson, eh? Well they’re poor brains are baked. We have to give them a break. I do like the saying. 

Joel: I do too. 

Simon: Does it mean, at this place no one gets enough to feed their ego?

Jim: Yes. 

Joel: I believe so. 

Connor: I agree. 

Sam: I like this saying a lot. 

Dan: I do too. 

Rafe: It’s okay, but not my cup of tea. 

Brown: That’s because you already have enough ego. You wouldn’t have to go there. (Laughing.)

Jim: I think that if people have big egos, they would still be going there.

Rafe: See H, you insulted me. 

Brown: Sorry. 

Jim heard Blair’s heartbeat outside the room and smiled. He had hoped that he would make it tonight. 

Simon: Well look who has decided to join us. 

“Hey everyone. I have to tell you about my night. It was one kick ass night.” Blair was humming with excitement. And not the kind that Jim wanted to see. 

“Sit down and tell us what happened.” Simon suggested. 

“No, I’m too high. High on life everyone not drugs. I’ll walk, stand and pace if you don’t mind.” Blair answered. 

“All right Chief, we’re listening.”

“Well, I was basically undercover for that man that’s been taking those guys out of the gay bar and almost killing them. A few he has. Anyhow, they all look like me. So that’s why they asked me to go under. I was under surveillance the entire time, or so I thought. I went with this guy who was 6’ 5” tall and weighed in at 270, thinking that my backup was right behind me. Their car wouldn’t start and they didn’t come. Jim, don’t get all crazy there. I’m here. I’m in one piece right?”

“Yeah.” Jim almost whispered. 

“I have to thank you Jim for all of those hours of self-defense classes you gave me. I also have to thank you for buying me those great steel-toed boots. Now back to the story. After about ten minutes I realized that they weren’t coming to save my ass. This guy was fucking huge. He made sure I couldn’t go anywhere and took all of his clothes off. Holy shit, his cock had to have been 13 inches easy. Hard, 17.” 

Blair laughed and everyone else did too. Well except for Jim. 

“Okay, this man needed some trips to the farm is what I’m saying. And suddenly I realized that I was going to be the farm he was taking the trip to. At first I was scared to fucking death, but then I heard Jim’s voice in my head saying, “You can do it Chief. Calm down. Breathe slowly and take him down.” I walked up to him before he had time to think, and hit him as hard as I could with one steel-toed boot, right between his legs. He hit the ground and then I used both boots to knock him upside the head. He was out like a baby. I danced around the room and said, “Thank you Jim. You were right. Thank you.” So that’s what happened more or less.”

“Where was your backup?” Simon asked angrily. 

“Their car wouldn’t start. But I called the station and had the perp picked up, taken to Emergency and then they booked him. The whole time those idiots from Vice were still trying to figure out where I was.” Blair was still bouncing. 

“How about a drink to help you relax and you can sit over here by me?” Jim offered. 

“Yeah, that would be good. You’re not mad?” Blair almost seemed afraid. 

“Nah. How could anyone be mad at you? You’re an angel.” Jim pulled him down in the chair next to him while Simon went to get him a beer. 

“I love you, Jim.” Blair kissed him firmly. 

“You did really well tonight, Chief. I’m glad it worked out like it did.” Jim then kissed him. 

Blair climbed onto Jim’s lap and they began to make-out in front of everyone. It seemed like they needed it and nobody complained. 

Jim pulled Blair’s shirt out of his jeans and ran his hands up over the young man’s chest. 

Blair pulled Jim’s shirt up and off and Jim was sitting there naked to the waist. He didn’t even seem to notice. 

Simon walked over and whispered into Jim’s ear, “Jim, how far are you taking this? Because soon you’ll be showing us everything.”

Jim looked up at Simon in a state of confusion. “Simon, he’s mine. I have to mark him.”

Blair kissed him and said, “We’ll wait until later man. I love you.”

Jim was breathing harder than he ever had. His cock was harder than it had ever been. “I need you now.”

“Not here, Jim. We’ll make up for it when we get home.” Blair said softly. 

“Please? I need you.”

“Does anyone have lotion or lube on them?” Blair asked with a smile in his voice. 

Connor shot down a bottle of lotion and said, “There you go. Have fun.”

“Could we ask everyone to turn around?” Blair asked sweetly. 

“You’ve got to be joking, right?” Sully wasn’t going to miss this for anything. 

Simon locked the door and shut the blinds. Then he told everyone to turn their heads. Jim stood up and got naked and Blair followed suit. Jim sat on the chair and put Blair over his lap. He started stretching him and talking sweet talk to him. Before long Blair was on Jim’s lap being lowered slowly, his anus devouring Jim’s cock. 

Everyone had seen them do this before, but for some reason it seemed more intense this time. It didn’t take long and they both came and got cleaned up and dressed again. 

Simon: Now can we get back to the survey?

Blair: Yes. 

Jim: Sorry everyone. I just had to have him right then. 

Dan: I’m really proud of you, Blair. 

Sam: I am too.

Simon: I think it’s a safe bet to say everyone thinks you did a bang up job. You also did a really good job on the Vice detail. (Cracks up laughing)

Connor: Anyone ready?

Everyone: We are.

 

Connor: It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.  
Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ

 

Jim: I’ve been to Wickenburg. It’s a very sad, little city. Almost like a ghost town. 

Blair: Really? 

Jim: There was hardly anyone at the McDonalds when I drove through.

Blair: You are so full of it.

Jim: Not anymore. You are. 

Simon: No sex jokes. 

Sully: Simon you are no fun. I think this saying is so sad. Does anyone else? 

Joel: I think it’s sad also. 

Connor: I thought so too. 

Dan: But people can change their lives, right? 

Sam: Yes, babe, they can. 

Rafe: I didn’t think it was that sad. I mean, they could have worked at the McDonalds. Not a bad life. (Laughing)

Brown: I thought it was sad too. 

Simon: It’s official Connor. You’ve mad everyone sad. Now move it.

 

Connor: Make love, not war. Hell, do both, GET MARRIED!  
Women's restroom  
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

 

Joel: That’s so mean. 

Jim: It is, isn’t it? Someone was unhappy that day. 

Rafe: Well not everyone is happy, Ellison. 

Jim: I know that, Rafe. 

Brown: Are you happy, Bri?

Simon: Oh for gods sake. He’s fine Henry. A man obviously upset with his wife wrote this.

Brown: Bri, are we okay?

Rafe: We’re fine. Don’t worry. And Simon, don’t dismiss Henry like that. 

Simon: Fine. Sorry Henry. 

Dan: I agree with Simon about this being written by a very unhappy married man. 

Sam: Was it you honey? (Laughing)

Dan: I don’t think I’ve ever been there. 

Sam: Wait a minute; have you ever been that unhappy? 

Dan: Do I need to kick your butt woman? I love you, I adore you and I would never write that. 

Simon: Could we get this over with sometime tonight?

 

Connor: If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.  
Revolution Books  
New York, New York.

 

Jim: True. 

Joel: True, two. 

Simon: True, three. 

Sully: True, four.

Sam: Wait a minute; sometimes we can make a difference, so keep voting and voicing that opinion. Okay?

Everyone: Okay. We’ll listen to our Legal Advisor. 

 

Connor: A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.  
Women's restroom  
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX

 

Jim: Not true. 

Connor: I totally agree with Jim. 

Sully: I do too. 

Sam: I do too. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: I think I do. 

Rafe: What? 

Brown: Just seeing if you’re paying attention. 

Simon: I don’t believe it either. 

Blair: I know my man’s not like that. 

Dan: I don’t think I’m like that. 

Sam: You’re not, honey. 

Simon: Look Connor. Another one done. Move it. 

 

Connor: Express Lane: Five beers or less  
Sign over one of the urinals  
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ

 

Jim: Those Arizona folks are a riot. 

Sully: I want one of these for here. I mean in the restroom. 

Joel: What are we supposed to say to this one? 

Jim: We’re not supposed to be talking to strangers, Joel. 

Joel: Shut up. 

Blair: I think we’re just supposed to say if we liked it. I do. 

Dan: I do too. 

Sam: I do three. 

Simon: Cut them off at the pass, Connor. Move it. 

 

Connor: You're too good for him.  
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom  
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.

 

Jim: Did you notice that the same guy did this sign and the one in Phoenix? He’s probably got a ton of them out there. 

Joel: Now she’ll be hunting for them. Thanks, Jim. (Laughing)

Rafe: So Sandburg, do you say this every time you look in the mirror? 

Blair: What do you think, Rafe? I would never say it, think it or act it out. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. And he taught me how to kick ass. 

Jim: Thanks Chief. 

Simon: Good answer, Sandburg. I would hope that Sully would not think this while looking in a mirror. 

Sully: Simon, I’m the one who adores you. God, sometimes you make me so angry. I love you more than life itself. Thank you very much, Jim.

Simon: I love you more than life itself too, babe. Thank you very much, Jim.

Brown: Bri, if you ever say anything crappy like that to Sandburg again, I’m going to wear my steel-toed boots. 

Rafe: All right. Geeze. 

Dan: I’m sure that Sam doesn’t say this while looking in the mirror. She might be saying,  
I feel pretty, oh so pretty.   
I feel pretty, and witty and wise. 

Everyone laughs. 

Simon: Good job, Dan. Connor could we move on before there is more singing?

 

Connor: No wonder you always go home alone.  
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,  
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

 

Jim: This is mean. 

Blair: I agree. 

Joel: I do too. 

Simon: Don’t even start with the fucking counting shit. 

Sully: Such language. 

Simon: Don’t even start counting please. 

Sully: That’s way fucking better. 

Everyone laughs. 

Sam: I don’t agree with this one at all. You can always find something nice about a person. Right? 

Dan: Hey, I’m living proof. 

Sam: I’m going to kick your ass. 

Dan: You better bring a lunch. (Giggling)

Rafe: I can’t believe we’re doing this survey. 

Brown: I’m going to kick your ass. 

Rafe: That’s what I’m hoping for.

Brown: Sex on the brain at all times. Is that what you’re telling me?

Rafe: Yes. 

Brown: Goody. 

Connor: Well everyone you’re done for tonight. I hope you had a good time. 

Everyone: We did. 

Jim: I really did. 

Blair: I really did too. 

Connor: Wait. Shouldn’t we all have to have sex in order for it to be fun? 

Simon: Don’t even go there. Goodnight everyone. 

Two by two, they all left Sully’s room, leaving behind Jim and Blair. 

“Jim, I can’t believe how well you took all of this Vice shit.”

“Chief, I can’t believe how well you take care of yourself. I’m not going to be needed soon.”

“Never. I will need you forever.” Blair leaned in for a kiss. 

“You’re not hurt, right?”

“NO, that idiot didn’t even get off a slap, smack or tickle before I got him with my boots.” Blair laughed. 

“It’s not really funny, Chief. So let’s be serious. K?”

“I’m not hurt, Jim. I’m fine. You saw me naked tonight. Didn’t I look fine?”

“You looked better than fine. In fact, I want to take you home and show you how much I love you.”

“Show me here Jim.”

“Blair, I’m too damn old to be doing it on the floor or table.”

“How about I lay on the table and you fuck me that way?” Blair was already starting to undress. 

“Chief, what if one of the people that work here comes in?”

“Tough up big man.”

Once he was naked he lay on the table waiting for his man to fuck him senseless. Jim got undressed and began to get Blair ready. He was still pretty loose from earlier, so Jim was able to slide in quickly. 

Jim wasn’t paying attention at all because he was listening and watching Blair. He didn’t hear Sully come in and stand next to the door. 

Jim pulled Blair’s legs up to his shoulders and began to pound into his guide’s ass. Jim turned his head and saw Sully standing there smiling and just stopped. 

“Jim, fuck me. What’s wrong?”

Sully walked over to Jim and said, “Fuck him Jim. Right now. I’m leaving now, but you’re both beautiful.” And she did indeed leave. 

Jim did exactly what Sully told him to do. He fucked Blair senseless. 

As they drove home Blair smiled over at Jim and said, “So do I get this treatment every time I kick someone’s ass?”

“Maybe not every time. But close.” Jim laughed as they drove down the road. 

“I love you Chief.”

I love you, man.”

 

Happy Ending. Happy Ending. Did anyone notice how grown up Jim is? 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 52   
Signs of Laughter 

 

_____________________________________________________  
.


	53. San Francisco, Here He Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life changes for the Sandburg-Ellison household.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 53  
San Francisco Here He Comes!  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 05/30/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: This one is mostly serious. Sorry, everyone. Funny is up next. 

Summary: Life changes for the Sandburg-Ellison household. 

Warnings: m/m WARNING: J/F Some Angst  
No beta. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sullivan’s Pub Part 53  
San Francisco Here He Comes!  
Patt

Simon opened up his door and yelled, “Rafe. Ellison. My office.”

Both men got up and walked in to see what their boss would make them do now. 

“What’s up, sir?” Jim asked. 

“You two men were chosen for the ten day seminar in San Francisco. How do you feel about that?” 

“No shit? That’s great.” Rafe jumped up very excited. 

“Well wait a minute. You both have to give a two-hour lecture on sexual abuse and misconduct in the workplace. Now how do you feel about this seminar?” Simon smiled. 

“I don’t mind doing that. Everyone should be more informed anyhow.” Jim said smiling at his boss. 

“Well you leave in a week, here are your tickets and the itinerary.” Simon handed things over and held the door open. 

“Thanks, Simon.” Jim said as he walked out. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Rafe added as he almost bounced to his desk. 

“What’s going on man? You both look really happy for a change.” Blair asked with a laugh in his voice. 

“Simon told us that the two of us were chosen for a ten day seminar in San Francisco. We even have to give a lecture. So I need to start working on one before I leave.” Jim was also very excited and Blair could tell. 

“Ten days?”

“Yeah. But it’ll go fast, chief. Don’t you worry.” Jim smiled at him and didn’t get one in return. 

“Right.” Blair whispered as he walked into the breakroom. 

“Someone’s not happy about being left behind?” Connor teased Jim. 

“How do you know about it already?”

“Rafe has told everyone. You’re really slow, Jimbo.” Connor slugged him on the arm and laughed.

“He seems upset about me leaving. Can I tell him that he can call you anytime?”

“Jim, he calls me anytime, anyway. DUH.” Connor started running with Jim not far behind. Everyone in the bullpen was laughing at the two twits. Simon looked out of his office window and wondered if he ran a police bullpen or a kindergarten. 

Blair left early that day to grocery shop and Jim was going to ride home with Henry and Rafe. When he walked into the kitchen he saw the light flashing on the phone. Starting to put the groceries away, he listened to the message. 

// Jimmy, hi it’s me. I was so excited to hear that you’ll be in my fair city for the seminar. I’ve already made plans for four nights with you and Rafe. I hope you don’t mind. I can’t wait to see both of you. This is going to be great fun. See you soon. Oh, I’ll pick you two up at the airport. I’ve missed you, Jimmy. Bye honey. //

Blair was seething by this time and ready to kill one Jim Ellison. Connor would help bury the body. That’s what really good friends do. 

He put the message back to new and figured he would watch and see what Jim did. God, he was so depressed. 

Blair had dinner all made, table set and dessert almost done when the three loves of his life walked in. “Hey Chief.” Jim leaned in for a kiss. Blair didn’t feel like that was a bad kiss. He felt like he meant it. 

“Hi Poppy. We missed you.” Jade jumped into his arms to see what he was making. “What is that?”

“It’s Lemon Crème Pie. Do you like the sounds of that?” Blair kissed her quickly and set her down. 

“Oh yes.” Jade went to find her Daddy to tell him. 

“Hi Poppy. I missed you too.” Drake hugged Blair’s leg and Blair bend down and kissed the top of his head. 

“Who’s hungry?” Blair called out. Everyone yelled at the same time, “I am.”

Dinner went well. Everyone talked about their day and Jim and the kids were very happy. 

“Blair, you’ve outdone yourself with dinner and dessert. You know how much I love that pie. Thank you.” Jim pulled Blair’s chair closer and they kissed for quite some time. 

“Thank you for that great kiss.” Blair got up and began to clean the table off. Jim looked over at him and still thought something was off. 

“Chief, you sure nothing is wrong?” Jim asked hoping for a negative reply. 

“It’s not a biggy. I just have some things on my mind.” Blair had some help with the dishes from Drake and they loaded the dishwasher together. 

“Poppy, why not tell us about it. You always tell me to talk to you when something is bothering me.” Drake always sounded so grown up. 

“Yeah, talk to us, Poppy.” Jim said smiling. 

“Well someone from my past asked me out for dinner and I don’t know how to handle it.”

Jim stared at him oddly and said, “Who?”

“Her name is Mara and she’s great. We were best friends for a long time. Anyhow, she wants to go out for dinner, drinks and dancing. How do you feel about it Jim?”

“I feel like if you have a problem with me going to San Francisco you should tell me flat out.” Jim was angry now. 

“Drake, this is why I don’t talk to the man. He’s grouchy and makes me want to cry all the time.” Blair walked into their bedroom. 

Drake pushed Jim into the doorway and said, “Make it better, Daddy.”

Jim walked in and found Blair packing a bag. “What are you doing?”

“Duh, packing.” Blair snarled. 

“Chief, I saw Mara yesterday at the grocery store and she’s about 8 months pregnant. Still beautiful, but she told me how happy she was with her husband. So what’s up with this trip to Calif.?”

“I don’t want you to go. It’s as simple as that. You have a choice. Go, and I sleep in the spare room. Stay, I sleep in our room. Make up your mind right now.” Blair ordered. 

“Let me help you move your stuff into the spare room. You don’t control everything I do, Blair.” Jim started taking things into that room. 

Drake and Jade were crying when he came through a second time. “It’s okay kids. Poppy wants to be alone for a few weeks.”

“Jerk.” Blair said as he walked by him. 

“Moron.” Jim said softly in reply. 

When Blair came by again, he said, “Prick.”

Jim ended up sleeping in Jade room that night because she kept crying and crying. Blair would hear her and felt bad, but knew that he had to take a stand. 

Three days later, it was Sullivan’s Pub night. Jim and Blair came in separate cars. Everyone watched them drive up and looked at each other in confusion. 

“Someone want to fill me in?” Simon asked. 

“They’re fighting about the trip to Calif.” Connor answered. 

“Still?” Rafe asked. 

“Yes, and Blair is very angry.” Joel added. 

Jim and Blair walked into the pub and Connor called out, “Welcome.”

Jim sat on one side of the table and Blair sat on the other.

“Okay, this is ridiculous. We’re going to discuss this and work it out tonight.” Simon bellowed. 

“There’s nothing to work out, sir. I’m going.” Jim stated flatly. 

Connor: One at a time we’re going to ask Jim a question. Then when we’re done we’ll each ask Blair one. Sound good?

Joel: Good idea, honey. 

Connor: So Jim, you think that Blair’s feelings don’t matter?

Jim: Connor, this is what I hate about these things. (Sighing) I care about his feelings, but I was giving a job to do and the reason he doesn’t want me to go is because Carolyn called.

Joel: Carolyn called your house?

Jim: Yes, but that has nothing to do with it. She used to work with Rafe too. She wants us to have dinner a few nights. 

Simon: So you’re just doing your job?

Jim: Exactly. And I’m excited about the seminar. This will be the first time I’ve given a lecture at one. So I’m hyped up over it. 

Rafe: I totally agree with you Jim. We both worked with Carolyn and we’re there for the Conference not Carolyn anyhow. So why should it matter. 

Brown: Wait. I might matter. She called their house, Bri. If a woman called our house I would feel like I was losing you. And we all know how Ellison feels about Carolyn. 

Jim: I do not. 

Joel: Yes, you do. Can you swear that nothing will come of these dinners?

Jim: Yes. I don’t want anything from her. I’m in love with Blair. 

Joel: Then why is Blair so upset? 

Jim: I don’t know. 

Sully: Okay, my turn. When you heard her voice on the answering machine, how did it make you feel?

Jim: I don’t know. It was nice to hear her voice. It’s been a long time. When I called her back, I told her all about the kids and she said she was anxious to hear all about them. She even asked me to bring pictures of them. 

Sam: She wants you Jim. 

Jim: That’s ridiculous. 

Dan: I agree with Sam. She’s trying to be sweet, but she wants something else. 

Connor: Okay, Sandy’s turn. Sandy how did you feel when you heard her voice on the phone? And how did you feel when you heard he was going to Calif.?

Blair: First of all I was very hurt because he made the decision without talking to me first. WE usually discuss things and then decide. When I came home that day, somewhat depressed, I listened to the tape and it about broke my heart. Jim you can say whatever you want, but she does want you. She still loves you. 

Connor: Jim did you want to answer Sandy?

Jim: She doesn’t love me Chief. She thinks I’m weird because I’ve taken on a new lifestyle with you and two kids. Why would she want me? She just misses the old talks. That’s all. 

Joel: So you would be with Rafe the entire time? You would promise Blair that you would stay as a threesome or none?

Blair: No, I don’t want him to do that. I want him to stay home. 

Jim: See what I mean. He won’t meet me halfway. 

Simon: Sandburg, Jim has a job to do. I gave the order and he has to follow it. 

Blair: I understand that. But it doesn’t mean I’m going to be here when he gets back. 

Jim: What? You’re fucking leaving now? I don’t believe this shit. 

Dan: Jim, you’re not looking real good right now. Calm down and speak to him like he means something to you. 

Jim: Dan, I’ve been doing that. He won’t let me do my job. He wants me to cut my balls off. I’m not doing it. 

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison. 

Jim: Fuck you. I am going and you will be here when I get back. 

Blair: What are you going to do, beat me up?

Jim: Of course not. Please be here when I come back. 

Rafe: Now that’s the wimp we all know and love. 

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Rafe: You better be good to me since I’m going to be watching out for you. 

Jim: I don’t need a baby-sitter. If I wanted to fuck her, it’s not your business. It’s no ones business. (Jim’s mouth falls open when he realizes what he just said.)

Sully: Are you thinking about that, Jim?

Jim: What?

Sully: Fucking her.

Jim: No, I was just using that as an example. Chief, I would never do that. 

Sam: Jim, I understand why you have to go but I also understand where Blair is coming from. I wish both of you good luck. 

Simon: Sandburg, I need to ask you a few things.

Blair: Go for it.

Simon: Let’s say I called you into my office one day and said there was a seminar in South America that we were asked to speak at. It just so happens to be in the same town as Myah. Now would you take the job? Would you consider how jealous Jim would be, because he would be? Or would your personal life come first?

Blair: I would take the job. I would not ask Jim first. I would feel bad about leaving him jealous, but I would still go. My personal life can’t come first. It’s my job. 

Jim: So why don’t you understand me?

Blair: I do. I don’t like it. 

Jim: Will you still be here when I get back?

Blair: Jim, we have children. It’s not like I can just take off with them. 

Jim: Thank you Chief.

Sully: All right. Now this is more like it. 

Everyone went back to the Survey and had a decent time. Well everyone except Jim and Blair. No matter what was said, neither man liked the idea and both were unhappy. 

Two weeks later at the Seminar in San Francisco: 

Jim and Rafe were having a wonderful time at the seminar. Both found it very interesting. Carolyn walked up to them and said, “So who is on for dinner tonight?”

Rafe smiled and said, “I’m going to do some work on my lecture. Raincheck?”

“Sure. We’ll do it another night.” Carolyn said. “How about you, Jimmy?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry all ready. What time are we leaving?”

“I’ll pick you up at your door at about 7:00 Jimmy. That good for you?” Carolyn looked so happy that Jim was happy too. 

Rafe watched the two of them and realized Jim was in big fucking trouble. He was an idiot. 

At 7:00 Caro knocked at the door and Jim opened and said, “I’m ready.”

“Would you be upset if I asked if we could do room service and watch the game?”

“No. I wanted to see the game. So that works out well.” Jim got the book out with the menu to order some food. They ordered enough for four people and then turned the game on. 

Caro was lying on the bed watching and said, “Jimmy, you don’t have to sit over there. I’m not going to bite you.”

She had her head at the foot of the bed, with her legs up in the air. Jim smiled at home comfy and cute she looked lying there. Jim lay down next to her and was still munching on some food. She started to sneak some of his snack and they were laughing and talking while they watched the game.

As the evening wore on, and more beers were in both, they started touching more. Jim made the first move, which would haunt him later. 

He couldn’t get over how much he missed these good times with her. He pulled her into his arms and began to kiss her. Before long they were both breathing hard and she could feel his hard cock poking into her thigh. 

She took his hand and put it under her dress and they continued to kiss. Jim knew by her sounds that she wasn’t going to last long. He pulled his hand out and went into the bathroom and shut the door. 

“Jimmy, what’s wrong baby?”

Opening the door he charged out, “First of all I’m not your baby. Haven’t been in a damn long time. Second, I just fucked up my entire life for you.”

“Don’t you even think about blaming it on me.” And Caro started to cry. Jim pulled her into his arms and said, “I’m sorry. It was my fault.”

The kissing started again. Caro got Jim’s slack’s unzipped and pulled his cock out of his boxers. She began to pump him like mad. He was near the edge and she lay down on the bed for him to take her. 

“Caro, I can’t do this. God, I’m in love with Blair. Please. Please.” Jim was begging. 

She spread her legs farther apart and pulled him down to make love to her. 

Rafe knocked on the door at that moment. Jim got his senses back and ran into the bathroom. Carolyn left as Rafe walked in. 

“Hey, what’s going on? I thought I would watch the game with you.” 

Jim smiled and said, “There is beer in the fridge. I’ve got to call Blair.”

“Want me to leave?” Rafe asked seriously. 

“No, I’d like you to hear too.”

He picked up the phone and called Blair. “Sandburg.”

“Chief…”

“Jim, what’s wrong?”

“I almost fucked her. And I wanted to. Something is wrong. There is something about her that I can’t resist. It’s new to me. But you were right. I’m a scuz and I don’t deserve you.” Jim was so unhappy even Blair could tell long distance. 

“I never said you were a scuz. I love you Jim. There must be something different about her. Maybe you need to get it out of your system. Do you want to fuck her baby?” Blair sounded sad. 

“Yes, I do. But I don’t.”

“I’m not going to be happy if you do, but if you do I won’t leave you either. God, Jim, I wish we were together. Is Rafe there?”

“Yeah, we’re watching the game.”

“Let me talk to him.” Blair was going to need help on this. 

“Hey Sandburg. What’s shaking?”

“Rafe, for some reason he wants to fuck her like he’s never wanted to before. Something is going on with his senses. So could you please stay with him at all times? Maybe even stay in his room?”

“Yeah, I’ll go and get my stuff right now. Talk to you later, Hairboy.” Rafe handed the phone back to Jim to talk again. 

The next four days were fairly quiet, but Caro seemed upset with Jim and Rafe. Both men noticed. 

She started watching Rafe’s comings and goings so she could catch Jimmy alone. She was waiting in the hallway and Rafe went down to get something. She knocked on the door and went into Jim’s arms as soon as he opened it. 

He tried to stop for a few minutes but then he gave up and began really getting into it. Rafe walked up to the door and could hear noise and was hoping it wasn’t the noise he thought it was. He opened the door and stepped in to find Jim fucking Carolyn. Well, she was sitting on his lap and he was making her feel plenty nice. 

“Jim, what are you doing?” Rafe asked. 

“Jimmy, harder baby. Harder.” Caro whispered. 

He did just as she asked and ignored Rafe. Rafe stayed there and watched the wild look on Jim’s face. He knew that Jim had no control over this at all. He would have to tell Blair about that. 

Jim stood up carrying Carolyn and lay her on the bed and he began fucking her like mad. He was grunting, groaning and moaning. 

“Do I feel good Jimmy?”

“Yes, you feel good.”

“Tell me how good I feel, baby.” Caro was licking his lips as she asked. 

“God, I’m going to come, Caro. I’m going to come.” And just like that he came in her and she screamed out with her orgasm. 

Jim took all of her clothes off and pulled her into his naked arms and they fell asleep. When he woke up an hour later, he fucked her again. Rafe noticed that he didn’t mind that he was in the room and Jim also didn’t say anything to Carolyn. 

In the morning, Carolyn took a shower and left before Jim even got up. When he got up, he went into the bathroom and threw up for an hour. 

Rafe and Jim both decided that this would be best saved for Cascade. In person, so that Jim could hold him as Blair tried to kill him. 

The next two days were pretty quiet and they didn’t see Carolyn, thankfully. She finally showed up the day they were about to leave. 

“Hi Jimmy.”

“Hi Caro.” Jim could sense a difference in how he felt about her. The thrill wasn’t there and neither was the pull. Why?

“I just wanted to wish you well and say goodbye to Rafe too.” Caro smiled and kissed his cheek. 

They all talked for about ten minutes and Jim suddenly said, “You fucking used me to impregnate yourself?”

“What are you talking about, Jimmy?”

“Tell me you didn’t use me. Tell me you weren’t ovulating.” Jim demanded. 

“Fine. I wanted a baby. Why should Sandburg get everything? I won’t bother you, I just wanted your child.”

“Well we’ll see about that.” Jim stormed off. 

Rafe said, “That was low, Carolyn. He’ll get a lawyer. He’s a great dad. He won’t let you have that child.”

“Tell his lawyer to call mine.” And Carolyn stormed off. 

All the way home Rafe and Jim discussed this and Jim said, “I hate when Sandburg is always right.”

They both laughed at that, but knew there would be little to laugh at soon. Rafe knew that Jim was worried about Blair leaving him. With good reason. 

Blair picked them up at the airport and knew right away that Jim had slept with Carolyn. He looked so fucking sad and guilty. // Good, as well he should. //

They dropped Rafe off and they went home to talk. Blair knew he wasn’t going to like it. Once in the door the kids jumped on him and he played with them for about two hours and said, “Okay, Daddy needs a nap.” He walked into their bedroom. 

Blair put the kids down for a nap and joined Jim. “Tell me how bad this is.”

“Can I hold you while I tell you?” Jim asked pitifully. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

So Jim filled him in on everything that happened and what Jim had figured out at the end. Then he laid back and waited for Blair to hit him or something.

“Well now we know why you were having that strange pull. She’s not getting total custody of that baby, Jim. He or she is part of us.” Blair kissed Jim. 

Jim wasn’t expecting that at all. In fact, he had expected Blair to leave him. So when he heard Blair voice this, he almost fell apart. “I love you so much baby. I truly do.”

“So we’ll see a lawyer about this right away?” Blair asked. 

“I’ll call Sam right now, if you want me too.” Jim kissed Blair this time. 

“Yeah, call her right now.”

Jim went in and called her and filled her in on the situation and she said she would start the ball rolling right now. 

“Come over and fill the papers out, Jim. Right now.” Sam ordered. 

“Okay. I’ll do it. Do we know a judge that could help me since I have the senses problem? I have to have the child with me in case it’s a little Sentinel.”

“We have our friend Judge Harrison. I’ll give him a call right now.” Sam hung up the phone. 

Jim walked in and told Blair he had to go to her office to start the ball rolling. 

“I love you, Jim.” 

“How can you still love me?”

“Because I know that something was wrong and I knew you had no control. I love you. I know that you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose.” Blair kissed him longingly. 

“I don’t know how I ever got you, but I’ll thank god forever for letting you be mine.” Jim kissed him and left for Sam’s. 

The paperwork was all done in a matter of days, and sent to Calif. The papers read that Carolyn and Jim would have joint custody. More papers were to be drawn up when the time came. 

Time passed quickly. Jade’s birthday party came and went, very loudly. She was five and Jim and Blair couldn’t believe how fast she grew up. And she never let anyone forget that she was now five. Jim kept thinking someone needed to hire her now while she still knew everything. 

Tristan and Simone’s first birthday was coming up and everyone was pretty excited about that too. 

Dan came by the house to take Jade for the day, and said, “Uncle Jim wanna see what Tris can do?”

“But of course.”

Dan set him down and he walked over to Jim. “Way to go little man.”

“I’m your little man, Daddy. Not Tristan.” Drake yelled. 

“Honey I can have more than one little man.” Jim kissed Drake and said, “Hold out your arms and see how Tristan can walk.”

For the next hour Tristan entertained them. Blair laughed and watched and realized that this is what real life was. And he was fucking glad of it. 

Two months later Carolyn called. “Sandburg.”

“Sandburg, I need to talk to Jim.”

“He’s not here. He took the kids to the park.”

“Well I had the baby two weeks ago and I need him to come and get it.” Carolyn sounded sad and exhausted. 

“I’ll send him right away. What did you have?”

“A little girl. Jim had agreed to the name Rayne. So her name is Rayne Nicole Ellison. The Nicole is after my brother Nicky. I had wanted to use that for a name, but Jimmy hated it. Anyhow, Sandburg, the papers are all ready. I’m giving both of you custody. I can’t handle motherhood.”

“Carolyn, it might be a matter of just getting her used to being with you.” Blair was trying to help. 

“Send Jimmy. I’m sorry.” And she hung up the phone. 

Jim and the kids walked in the door and Jim said, “Poppy guess what?”

“What?”

“A pigeon pooped on the windshield while we were stopped at a stop sign.” Jim laughed along with the kids. 

“Jim, you need to go to San Francisco.”

“Why?”

“The baby is two weeks old and she’s giving us total custody. She can’t handle her.” Blair explained. 

“A little girl? Jadey, you’re going to have a baby sister. Drake, you’re going to be a big brother.” Jim kissed the kids and Blair. “I’ll pack now and get going.”

Jim had been gone three days with no phone call made to Blair. He was reading to Drake and Jade and the phone rang and Jade jumped up and said, “Daddy?”

“Hi sugar.”

“I miss you Daddy and so does Drake and Poppy.”

“Can I talk to Poppy please?”

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Blair asked. 

“Nothing, I just needed to hear your voice. I have to get more legal work done and then Rayne and I will be on the plane. Do you like the name Brooke better than Rayne?”

“No, I love Rayne. Very pretty and it’ll be cute when you call her Rayney. Keep it like it is.” Blair smiled at his lover’s noises to the baby. 

“Wait until you see her, Blair. She’s beautiful. A better baby you couldn’t find anywhere. She just needed to be around another Sentinel. Carolyn knew this.” Jim sounded a little sad about it. 

“I can’t wait to see her. We went and bought all of the baby things that Sam, Sully and Connor told us to get. You’ll be all set when you get here. We miss you.”

“I miss you too, Chief. I love you more than you’ll ever know.” Jim again sounded lost, sad and alone. 

“Jim, would you like the kids and I to come up and fly back with you?” Blair asked. 

“I would love that. Thank you. I love you so much. Let me talk to my precious ones and then I better go rest.” 

So that’s exactly what they did. Blair, Drake and Jade showed up at Jim’s hotel the next day with a car seat for the trip home. Jade loved the new baby, even though she didn’t want to. But Drake adored her and was very protective of her. 

In bed that night Jim asked, “You think we’re okay?”

“OH yeah, we’re better than okay. We’re great.”

Life was going to get a little more hectic with a new baby, but both men were ready for her. She looked just like her Daddy. Blair knew right away she was a little Sentinel and he now had to find her a guide. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 53  
San Francisco Here He Comes!

Thank you for reading, come again. J


	54. Remarks Made About Blowjobs and Baby Rayne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More changes for the Sandburg-Ellison household.

Title: Sullivan's Pub Part 53  
Remarks Made About Blowjobs and Baby Rayne  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 06/01/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Something is up with the boys and it’s not their penises. I see a breakup in the future. 

Summary: More changes for the Sandburg-Ellison household. 

Warnings: m/m Some Angst  
No beta. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sullivan’s Pub Part 53  
Remarks About Blowjobs   
And Baby Rayne  
Patt

Blair walked into the bullpen wearing a baby sling, holding Rayne and she wasn’t happy. 

“What are you doing to that baby?” Connor asked as she pulled Rayne out of the sling. 

“Nothing. Jim has ruined her, just like he ruined all of our children.” Blair growled. 

Simon looked out in the bullpen and said, “Are we not working today? Oh, is that little Rayne?” He walked up and took her from Connor and walked into his office. 

“Sandy, he’s as bad as Jim is. So blame both of them.” Connor laughed. 

“How come you have Rayne today?” Rafe asked. 

“Because it’s my day off and I wanted to spend some time with her. But she’s a brat. Six months old and screams her head off when Jim isn’t around.”

“How about at the Day Center?” Brown asked. 

“I guess she’s fine because all of the kids are there.” Blair watched as Jim got off of the elevator and was ready to fight. 

“All right, what did I do now?”

“You’ve ruined a perfectly good baby. She’s a friggin brat, Ellison.” Blair shoved Jim in the chest as he spoke. 

“What are you talking about Chief? I can hear her in Simon’s office and she’s laughing and talking to him. So what’s the problem?” Jim shoved Blair back. 

Joel stepped in and separated the men and said, “All right, that’s enough. Are you not sleeping at night guys? What’s the problem?”

“Well let’s see.” Blair started and Jim shouted, “Shut up, Sandburg.”

“Ah, no sex. I see now.” Brown laughed. 

“Is nothing personal around here?” Jim asked as he sat down as his desk. 

“Not a thing, Jimbo. Want me to come over and help with the kids so you can have quality time?” Connor asked. 

“No, we’re doing just fine.” Jim started bring up some files and began to type.

Blair stormed into Simon’s office and took Rayne and put her in the sling. She began to cry right away, he ignored this and went to the elevator. Jim caught up with him and said, “Chief, why is she crying?”

“Because you’ve ruined her. Damn you anyhow.” Blair handed him a package and said, “Please hand these out. I’ll see you tonight.”

Everyone could hear the crying baby for many floors. “She’s got quite the set of lungs on her, Jim.” Rafe said laughing. 

“Yes, she sure does. I’m going to try and do a better job about not spoiling her. I know I’m bad.”

“Oh not you.” Connor said as she burst into laughter. 

Jim sat back down and opened up the package and smiled. Blair had taken her down for a portrait and then had prints made up. They were just darling. He stood up and delivered them to all of their friends and everyone agreed that she was just as cute as can be. 

“Hey Jim, she has the same amount of hair as you do.” Connor teased. 

“You better watch it. When you least suspect it, I’ll wup your ass.” Jim was enjoying the teasing. 

 

“Is everyone going to Sullivan’s tonight?” Brown asked. 

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Jim said. 

“Maybe you should. Have a night out and fuck him into next week.” Rafe suggested.

“Sex isn’t everything, Rafe.” Jim countered. 

“Geeze, I’m glad I don’t live with you.” Brown said seriously. 

Simon shouted out his doorway, “Does no one have any work to do?”

Everyone got busy and figured they would see each other that evening. 

When Jim got home he played with all of the kids and listened to Blair making dinner. He could tell Blair was unhappy, but he didn’t know what to do about that. 

“Did you have a good day, Daddy?” Jade asked. 

“Yes, Jadey, I sure did. It was a great day. Did you know we’re going out tonight?”

“Yes, Poppy told us that Linda is comin.” Jade answered. 

“And how was your day, my little man?”

“It was okay. I missed Rayne. So did Jade. I think Poppy shouldn’t be able to take her on his days off. Okay, Daddy?”

“Drake Poppy can take her anytime and anywhere he wants to. That is his little girl too.” Jim tried to explain. 

“Dinner.” Blair called out. 

They had a fairly quiet dinner and Jim cleaned up afterwards. Blair gave Drake and Jade their baths. When Linda got there everything was done. 

“How long has Rayne been sleeping?” Linda asked. 

“Since about 3:00 this afternoon. She must be tired.” Blair answered. 

“I’ll get her up now so she won’t have you up all night long. Go. Have fun.” Linda shooed them out the door. 

“Maybe that’s the problem Jim. Maybe we’re letting her sleep too much in the daytime. You think?” Blair asked. 

“Well we’ll work on it and if that doesn’t help, then we’ll ask for some help from our friends.”

“I love you, big man.” Blair smiled over at him and Jim melted. 

“I love you, Chief. More than you’ll ever know.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

As they walked into Sullivan’s and went to their room, everyone said, “Always last.”

“Oh shut up.” Blair teased them all. 

“So Connor what do we have tonight?” Simon asked. 

“What You Wish She'd Say After a Blowjob” Connor laughed as she saw the looks on her co-workers faces. “Ready? And instead of her, we can put him for the guys who have guys.”

 

Connor:  10. Gee, that's yummy

Jim: Blair says that all the time. 

Blair: You wish. 

Joel: I wish Meggie did too. 

Connor: I can say that if you want me too. 

Joel: Only if you mean it. 

Simon: Oh for gods sake. Sully has never said it and I could care less. 

Sully: Thank god, cuz you don’t taste yummy. 

Simon: What? Why not?

Sully: You’re so damn easy. 

Dan: I think that Sam has said this. 

Sam: No honey that would be someone that likes the tastes. I don’t. 

Dan: Oh yeah. 

Rafe: I love his yummy taste. 

Simon: We don’t need to hear that. 

Brown: Well as you all know I’m not crazy about swallowing, but I still love the taste. 

Jim: So basically we all want to hear that we taste yummy? 

Everyone: Yes!

Simon: Wow, is it time to go yet?

 

Connor: 9. How much do I owe you?

Blair: (Falling out of his chair.) Only in Jim’s dreams would I say this. 

Jim: Gee, thanks a lot. 

Simon: This one makes no sense. 

Sully: Honey, they’re saying we had such a good time blowing you that we should pay you.

Simon: I like that. 

Dan: I think I like it too. But I’m with Sandburg. I would never hear it. 

Sam: You might. 

Dan: Hot damn.

Rafe: I would say this. 

Brown: So would I. 

Joel: I don’t think Meggie would say this, but I could dream about it. 

Connor: Big guy, you’ll get that dream filled tonight. 

Joel: She’s fun being married to. 

Simon: That’s nice, now can we move on?

 

Connor: 8. I'm gonna tell all my friends how great you are!

Blair: Now this one is backwards. The guy should be thanking the girl and bragging to his friends. 

Jim: Or in our case the guy doing the guy?

Blair: Whatever. 

Jim: What do you mean, whatever? 

Joel: So Jim, have you ever wished that Blair would tell someone about how fun you are to blow?

Jim: (blushing) I might. He’s so fun for me to blow because he never stops wiggling. 

Simon: This is going to be ugly. 

Joel: I would love Meggie to say something too. 

Connor: I think Joel is very fun to blow. 

Rafe: Henry is fantastic to blow because he never holds still either. Makes me want him even more. 

Brown: Man, you are going to get so lucky tonight. I might not like to swallow, but I sure love to suck this man. 

Sam: Dan is very fun to blow too. And like Brown, likes to wiggle around. 

Dan: Thanks baby. 

Sully: I think it’s a given, I love to blow my man and he loves to be blown. There you go. 

Simon: What happened to the nice ones Connor? Do You Remember and so on? 

Sully: I think this is a fun one. Settle down. 

Simon: Then let’s move on. 

Blair had still not said a word about this one and Jim noticed. So did everyone else. 

 

Connor: 7. You really quenched my thirst

Jim: Now this one’s stupid. 

Blair: Agreed. 

Simon: Can we all agree to agree? (Laughing) Moving right along Connor. 

Connor: Spoilsport.

 

Connor: 6. Lets pop my cherry next!

Blair: Hell, this is what I said to Jim. 

Jim: (blushing) Chief, I don’t think that’s what they meant. 

Blair: You sucked me until I had no brain cells left and then I asked you to fuck me. Did you or did you not know that I was a virgin? 

Jim: Yes, I knew. 

Blair: There you have it. 

Jim: Chief you make it sound so bad. 

Blair: Enough about us. 

Joel: I’ve never wanted to hear this. 

Simon: I haven’t either. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: Well actually what Sandburg was discussing is what happened to us, Bri. So you did get my cherry. 

Simon: Knock it off with the cherry crap. 

Sully: So Blair, are you saying you feel like you were almost taken advantage of by Jim?

Blair: What I’m saying is people should slow down and take a breath before they move the next level. 

Dan: I agree with that Blair. 

Now it was Jim’s turn to be quiet and withdrawn. 

 

Connor: 5. You make a great pacifier

Jim: I’ve thought this. 

Blair: About who?

Jim: Who do you think? You.

Joel: I love when I wake in the morning to Meggie sucking on me. She says she pretends it’s her own little pacifier. 

Simon: Now this is a vision I could have gone all night long without hearing about. But as long as you mentioned it, I do love when Sully sucks me first thing in the morning. 

Dan: I love how Sam sucks too. She’s so good at it. 

Sam: Thanks honey. Sully you think it’s a family thing?

Sully: Could be. Great lips or something. 

Rafe: Oh man, there is nothing better than getting woke up to being sucked on. I love that. And I love to do it to Henry. 

Brown: Same here. We’re both suckers. 

Blair: Enough already. Could we move on?

Everyone looked at Blair oddly and Connor got ready for the next one. 

Connor: 4. You're so huge; I could barely get you in my mouth.

Blair: (Falls out of his chair laughing.) 

Jim: Well this feels me with a lot of confidence. 

Blair: I just thought it was funny, man. 

Simon: I wish Sully would say this. 

Sully: Simon, you’re so huge; I could barely get you in my mouth.

Everyone laughed. 

Jim: I sometimes tell Blair he’s too big. He is. 

Sam: No one is too big, honey. 

Connor: I beg to differ. Sometimes I have a hard time taking all of Joel. 

Joel: She does. 

Dan: Sam’s not going to be saying that about mine. I have a very average cock. 

Sam: Excuse me. That’s my cock we’re talking about and it’s anything but average. It’s a perfect size. 

Dan: She’s so good to me. 

Rafe: I tell Henry all the time that he’s too big. Isn’t it weird how sometimes the cock can be larger than another time?

Brown: I agree. 

Simon: Let’s move this one along before someone says something ugly. 

 

Connor: 3. More please.

Jim: I’ve said this. 

Blair: I must be having a memory lapse. I can’t remember past six months. Can anyone else?

Jim: Knock it off, Sandburg. Do you want me to fucking leave? 

Blair: Well don’t do the fucking part, because I don’t know if you remember how. Just do the leave part. 

No one was prepared and Jim knocked Blair in the chest, so hard he flew off his chair onto the floor. Joel grabbed Jim and said, “Sit. Now.”

Simon went over and asked Blair, “You okay, Sandburg?”

“I’m hunky dory. Let’s finish this fucking thing so we can go home.”

Simon: Let’s get back to this and I don’t want to see another person on the floor.

Joel: Meggie says more please to me all the time. 

Sam: I say it to Dan too. 

Dan: She does. 

Rafe: I say it to Brown all the time. 

Brown: I don’t say it as much. Sorry Bri. 

Sully: I say this to Simon all the time, don’t I honey? 

Simon: You sure do. Could we move on?

 

Connor: 2. Oops! I spilled some! I'll just save it for later

 

Jim: I don’t want to sound dumb,

Blair: Then don’t say it.

Jim got up and went after him again except this time Blair was ready for him. Jim shoved Blair and Blair shoved Jim. Neither man was hurting the other, but they were getting each other’s attention. 

“Prick.” Blair screamed at his lover. 

“Cocksucker.” Jim said just as angrily. 

Simon went over and said, “Sit. Now. Or we call this off right now.”

Jim and Blair sat back down and Jim said, “I don’t understand this one.”

Blair: Who cares, Jim?

Simon: Honestly I don’t get it either. 

Dan: Do you think it means a man wishes he had that much love juice that there was leftovers?

Everyone: Oh. Now it makes sense. 

Simon: Good, could we move this one along then?

 

Connor: 1. I'm drinking milk for good

Jim: I think that this ones stupid. 

Blair just sat and didn’t even answer. 

Joel: I think it’s dumb too. 

Simon: So do I. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: Connor they were great until this one. 

Sully: But think girls, we get to have a milk mustache whenever we want. 

Blair: Not just you girls. Jim too. 

Simon: Sandburg, knock it off. 

Jim: Blair leave. 

Blair: You can’t tell me when to leave, fucker. And I use that in loose term. 

Jim: What the fuck is wrong with you? 

Jim jumped up and walked out of the room and everyone looked at Blair.

Simon: Who wants to go and get Jim?

Rafe: I’ll go. I’ve not been to the bathroom all night. I was feeling left out. 

Rafe walked into the bathroom and saw Jim standing there looking very angry and cold. 

“Jim, what’s up?”

“Nothing. I’m coming.” Jim patted Rafe on the back and they walked back to the survey room. 

“Sorry everyone. I’ll keep myself under control from now on.” Jim sat down and they all looked a little nervous. 

 

Connor: These are excuses for not giving blowjobs.  
10\. I thought only gay guys liked that.

Sully: I’ve never said this. 

Sam: Neither have I. 

Connor: I wouldn’t say it either. 

Rafe: I would never say it. (Laughs)

Brown: Are we gay? 

Simon: I’m going to kick your butt, Brown. 

Jim: Gay guys do love these. 

Blair: Yes, they do. But they have to have them done now and then. 

Dan: I think that’s Blair’s way of apologizing. 

Jim: Tough shit. 

Blair: Oh fuck you. 

Jim: Not on your best day. 

Simon: Connor, could we move now? 

 

Connor: 9. I'll gag and blow chunks all over you.

Jim: This is gross. 

Joel: I agree with Jim. 

Blair: I feel like this sometimes. 

Jim: Shut the fuck up, Sandburg.

Simon: This is dumb. 

Rafe: Agreed. 

Brown: Same here. God, let’s hurry. 

Dan: Jim and Blair knock it off now. 

The Girls: Here. Here. 

 

Connor:  8. My headgear will get in the way.

Jim: Do they mean braces or something? 

Simon: I have no idea. Could we skip to the next one, Connor?

 

Connor: 7. I had a traumatic Popsicle accident as a child.

Brown: (Falls out of chair laughing) I love this one. I would use this one just to see the look on Bri’s face. 

Rafe: I would love you to use it on me. (Laughing also)

Simon: This one is dumb too. 

Sully: Well I think it shows imagination. 

Sam: I’m using it. 

Dan: But that means I won’t be getting it. 

Sam: Poor baby. (She breaks out into song. You don’t always get what you want.) 

Everyone laughs but Jim and Blair. 

Connor: Well I might say it to Joel just to watch him smile too. 

Joel: Honey, you don’t have to use that to see me smile. 

Jim: Joel you are a very good man. 

Connor: Yes he is Jim. 

Simon: We could move if you want.

 

Connor: 6. Sorry Joe, no sucky, sucky!!  
Jim: This one is dumb.   
Simon: I think I agree.   
Sully: Okay, this one is pretty bad.   
Sam: I think it’s funny.   
Dan: So do I, Sammy.   
Rafe: I might use this one.   
Brown: And I might laugh and I shove your face down there anyhow.   
Simon: I could have gone all night without hearing that, Brown.   
Brown: Did you think that my cock was in a different spot?  
Simon: Shut up.   
Everyone laughs, even Jim. But not Blair.   
Simon: Could we leave now?  
Connor: 5. You piss with that thing.  
Jim: Well that’s true, but that’s not always a bad thing, right?  
Joel: I don’t think so.   
Connor: Are you asking about golden showers Jim?  
Joel: OH, is that what you meant?  
Jim: Maybe.   
Dan: I’ve always wanted to try it.   
Sam: With someone else, right?   
Sully: I don’t know if I could do it either. Do you mean piss in my mouth or piss on me?  
Simon: I didn’t say either.   
Sully: I’m asking Jim.   
Jim: Both.   
Sully: I could do the piss on me but not the piss in me. Not in my mouth anyway.   
Rafe: Henry and I have done this a few times and it’s quite hot. Try it.   
Simon: So have you done it Jim?  
Jim: Yes.   
Simon: Both?  
Jim: Yes. Did you like it Blair?  
Blair: Honestly, no.   
Simon: Could you tell us why you hated it?   
Blair: It’s gross and I just didn’t like it.   
Simon: Okay, well let’s move on.

Connor: 4. I choke on small bones  
Jim: This is mean.   
Joel: It is mean.   
Rafe: Very mean.   
Brown: I can’t believe people even make remarks about sizes. Does anyone wish their partner had more?  
Joel: No. (Laughing)  
Connor: Not even. I can hardly handle what he’s got now.   
Sully: I would never ask for more either.   
Sam: Same here. I wouldn’t want him any bigger at all.   
Rafe: I love Henry’s size.   
Brown: And I love Rafe’s.   
Jim: Blair has a wonderful penis. I wouldn’t change anything on it.   
Blair: Jim you are so full of shit.   
Simon: What do you mean?   
Blair: Jim, you’ve seen Joel’s cock. You going to sit there and tell me you wouldn’t want yours to look like his? Give me a break. I’m not going to lie. I wish yours were bigger.   
Everyone just sat there with their mouths open.   
Simon: Connor, could we move it? 

Connor: 3. I'm afraid of getting pregnant.  
Jim: This one is dumb.   
Connor: I’m moving on because it is dumb. 

Connor: 2. Do it yourself, like the dog you are.  
Blair: (Falling out of his chair.) I said this to Jim the other morning.   
Joel: I don’t even get this one.   
Simon: Is it just me or are they going downhill?  
Jim: They going, I think.   
Connor: It might be the tension in the room too.   
Sully: I think there is too much tension. Why don’t we talk about some things?  
Connor: Okay, but I have to tell you the number one answer. Sorry, I’m a vegetarian. Isn’t that a hoot?   
Dan: Yup, I like that one. No meat for Connor.   
Simon: Okay, boys. What’s going on with you? And I want you to know Ellison that if you ever take after him like that again, I’ll fire your ass.  
Jim: (Head hanging.) I’m sorry sir. I’m sorry Blair.  
Blair: I’m just horny. I want you bad.   
Dan: So go out to your SUV and put the back seat down and fuck each other stupid.   
Jim: Too late. I’m already stupid.   
Blair: I’m sorry everyone for being an asshole. I just miss my man.   
Jim: See you later.  
Blair: Bye.   
Everyone watched as they walked out to the parking lot. They both got in and Jim drove off.   
“I’m going to have to have words with Ellison tomorrow. He could have hurt Sandburg. And then he’d be out of a job.” Simon groused.   
“Simon, I saw it a little bit differently. I thought Sandburg provoked Ellison every step of the way.” Dan added his two cents.   
“Either way, it doesn’t matter. They shouldn’t be doing that shit.” Simon said.   
“My sister told me that the baby hasn’t been sleeping since they got her. So they have sleepless nights and sex free days.” Brown figured it might be part of the trouble.   
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
Across town, Jim opened up the door to the loft and pushed Blair in. He picked up his cell phone and called Linda.   
“Ellison’s.”  
“Linda, this is Jim. Could you stay with the kids tonight?” Jim asked.  
“Of course. Have fun and talk to you tomorrow. Do you want me to take Rayne to the Day Center?”   
“Thank you Linda. That would be great. We just need some time.”  
“Well then take about four days off and have a vacation. You know where we are. And I have your cell number if I need you.”  
Jim got misty eyed and said, “Thank you, Linda. Thank you. We’ll see you in four days. Goodnight. Kiss those babies for us.”   
He got off the phone and called Simon. “Simon, could Blair and I have four days off?”  
“I think it would be a good idea. Take the time and get yourselves straight. Well, I don’t mean it like that.” Simon laughed at his own pun.   
“Night Simon. See you in four days.” Jim closed his cell phone and turned to Blair.   
“You’ve got me for four days. Now I have one favor to ask. Could we sleep tonight? I’m exhausted. All of the rest of the nights are yours.” Jim smiled at his love.   
“Sounds good to me. I can have sex all day long if I want it?” Blair was practically humming.   
“You can have it anytime you want.”   
Jim knew he was going to have to talk to Blair about their little outbursts. But he didn’t want to do it right then. It could wait. God, he loved this man and he was going to have time with him if it killed him. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 54  
Remarks About Blowjobs   
and Baby Rayne

Come again.


	55. Who Loves Jim?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is both fun and serious. Simon has a problem. What is it?

Sullivan’s Pub Part 55  
Who Loves Jim?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 06/02/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Something is up with the boys and it’s not their penises. They’re trying to work things out. 

Summary: This one is both fun and serious. Simon has a problem. What is it? 

Warnings: m/m Some Angst   
No beta. 

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Sullivan’s Pub Part 55  
Who Loves Jim?  
Patt

 

Jim opened his eyes, the next morning and realized he was still at the loft. It was a nice feeling. For a change, it was only he and Blair. Jim knew he was going to have to pay more attention to his main man from here on in. 

As he watched his sleeping lover, he heard Blair start to mumble in his sleep. Then he heard him say, “Rick.”

Jim pulled back and stared at Blair in shock. Who in the fuck was Rick? 

Blair woke up to the scent of coffee brewing and walked down the stairs. Jim was dressed, drinking coffee and reading the paper. 

“Good morning, lover.” Blair whispered as he kissed him. 

“Good morning.” Jim didn’t even really look at Blair when he said it or did he kiss him back, and this did not go unnoticed by Blair. 

“What’s wrong, man?”

“Nothing.” Jim lied. 

“Talk to me.” Blair was on the verge of panicking.

“You missed a phone call. Know anyone named Rick?” Jim said nastily. 

“Just my instructor for the new class in yoga.” Blair explained. 

“Well he called.”

“What did he say?” Blair asked innocently. 

“I have no fucking clue. I hung up.” Jim stood up quickly and began putting things away. “Shit Blair, you were calling someone named Rick in your sleep. No one called. If you don’t want to be with me, get out.” Jim then walked out the front door. 

“Shit. He never lets me explain.” Blair called Jim on his cell phone and waited for him to answer. 

“Ellison.”

“Ellison, get back to the loft right now. I need to tell you something.” Then Blair closed the cell phone and waited. 

Jim stormed into the living room and glared at him. “What?”

“Sit down and I’ll explain everything to you.”

“Fine, I’m sitting. Explain.” Jim shouted. 

“I need to know if you love me, Jim. I mean really love me. Would you want to be with me, no matter what? Or only if things are good?” Blair asked quietly. 

“Sandburg, if you’re asking if I would mind if you fucked someone else, get a grasp on reality. I’d want to fucking kick your ass.” 

“So you do love me then?”

“Of course I love you. I spent all night long making sweet love to you and saying romantic things. Do you think I would do that if I didn’t love you?” Jim asked. 

“I guess that makes sense. Okay. Some time ago you mentioned that you wanted to climb the cliff area up near Mt. Rainier. You never even asked if I wanted to go, because I know nothing about it. Not to mention I’m scared of heights. Right?”

“Right.” Jim was at a loss. 

“Well I’ve been taking Mountain Climbing lessons for six weeks now. I know all I need to make it out alive and not kill you. But it didn’t come easily. I was so scared many times and my instructor was named Rick. He would hold me and talk me out of my panic attacks. So, there is my Rick and that’s what I’ve been doing.” Blair leaned back and looked at Jim’s face. 

“So you learned all of this in the last six weeks and he passed you on the course?” Jim asked. 

“I never said I passed. I never said that. I failed miserably and it was embarrassing. I was the only one who flunked in the fucking class. Now I hope you’re happy. I was hoping I didn’t have to tell you about it.” Blair got up this time and began to pace. 

“So this Rick person failed you?” Jim had a smile on his face. 

“Oh that’s great. Now you think it’s funny.”

“No, I think it’s great that anyone was able to look at you and not give you what you wanted.” Jim got up and took Blair into his arms for a kiss. 

Pulling away, he said, “Rick told me that anyone who had panic attacks like I do, should never go mountain climbing. He then told me he was sorry, but had to think about you. I have to tell you, Jim, I wanted to slap him at that point.”

Now Jim did laugh. “I think I like Rick. I’d like to meet him some day.”

“Well you’re not. So give it up.” Blair sat down and pouted. 

“I’m sorry Blair. I am truly sorry. I blamed you and thought you fucked someone else. Forgive me?” Jim hoped he wouldn’t have to beg. 

“No, I don’t forgive you. I hate you today.” And having said that he flew out the loft door. 

Jim figured he would be back soon enough, because he didn’t even have his vehicle. But no such luck. Finally Jim broke down and called the house and Linda answered. “Ellison Residence.”

“Linda, have you seen Blair?” 

“Jim do you two know how to do anything besides fight? He was one pissed off puppy. He got his Santa Fe and drove off.” Linda was smiling knowing that these men would be in each other’s arms in the next hour or so. They were idiots, but not total idiots. 

“As a matter of fact, we had a wonderful time last night. Just the two of us. But I’ll pick all of the kids up, since I’m coming home.” Jim felt like a man that had been beaten up by life. // You had it coming, Ellison. //

When he picked up the kids, both Jade and Drake attacked him. They acted like they had not seen their Daddy in months, instead of one night and morning. When he picked up Rayne, he felt like he was home. He was meant to be a dad and they would have to come first. 

Blair got home and started dinner and did a few things around the house. The kids came running in screaming, “Poppy, where are you?”

“I think I’m in the kitchen, where are you?” He called out. 

Jim smiled at Blair’s little game with the kids. Then Blair walked over and took Rayne from Jim and said, “How is my baby today? Did they take good care of you?”

Little Rayne smiled and laughed and pulled Blair’s hair. Jim was at a loss. What had he missed? 

Blair set Rayne in her swing and wound it up. Then he went in and finished setting the kitchen table. Jim couldn’t stand it anymore. He walked up behind Blair and lifted his hair and kissed his neck. 

“Do you wanna help me set the table?”

“I would like that a lot.” Jim said truthfully. 

They worked side by side and Drake said, “Our Daddy and Poppy are silly. They’re gonna kiss you can tell.”

Jim pulled Blair into his arms and said, “I love you more than life itself.” And then he kissed him. 

“I told ya, Jadey.”

“Yes you did.” Jade said making both men laugh. “That’s what happens when somebody loves you more than life itself.” 

They all sat down to dinner and it went smoothly. Jim gave all of the baths while Blair did some paperwork for the station. 

Drake walked into their room and asked Blair, “Can I sleep with you tonight, Poppy?”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I just want to sleep with you.” Drake crawled up next to Blair and cuddled making Blair ready to give in. 

“No Drake. You’re going to sleep in your own bed tonight. In fact, Poppy and Daddy need time alone sometimes. So if our door is shut, that means we want to be alone.” Jim picked Drake up and threw him over his shoulder. “Say goodnight to Poppy.”

“Night Poppy.” Drake giggled. 

“Goodnight, son. I love you.”

“I love you too, even if I can’t sleep with you.” Drake was wiggling because Daddy was pinching him as he walked. 

He tucked him in bed and kissed him. “I love you, Drake. Sleep well.”

“I love you too Daddy. I didn’t kiss Jade or Rayne.” Drake whined. 

Jim brought Jade and Rayne into the room and Drake kissed them both goodnight. Jim got Rayne snuggled in her crib and then got Jade in bed after she had to kiss her Poppy 25 times. Jim was wild about these kids, but they were exhausting sometimes. 

He walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Blair heard him do it and smiled. Jim washed up, brushed his teeth and then walked into their room and stripped for bed. Once he was naked he shoved Blair over. 

“Put that damn computer away and snuggle with me.” Jim begged and bossed at the same time. 

Blair did just that. He turned out the last light and went into Jim’s arms. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but how come you forgave me so easily?” Jim asked quietly. 

“Because I realized that I loved you more than anything and I can’t live without you.”

“Really?” Jim was honestly shocked. 

“Oh yeah. I love you more than my Santa Fe.” Blair teased. 

“What else?” Jim loved this. 

“I love you more than my Glock.” Blair could hear Jim’s soft laughter. 

“I love you more than this gorgeous house. I love you more than the loft. I love you more than our jobs. I love you more than our children, which scares me. Basically, I just really love you, Jim.”

His large lover attacked Blair and Jim made him remember why it was Blair loved him so much. He not only fucked like a crazy, but he cuddled and said sweet things too. Blair was in love and damn glad of it. 

The next day, they went to work and everyone watched them like hawks. 

“Guess what, Connor?” Blair asked. 

“What?”

“Rayne slept straight through the night. Did you notice no circles under our eyes?” Blair smiled as he told her. 

Everyone else heard the news and came over to tell them how happy they were. 

“Jim, would you all like to have another Sullivan’s Pub tonight to make up for the other one?” Connor was hoping. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. Chief, want to do another Survey tonight?” Jim asked his partner in all things. 

“Sure. But no fighting.” Blair wanted to kiss him in the worst way. Thankfully, the work place was safe for Jim. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

That night they all met at Sullivan’s. “What’s on the agenda for tonight, Connor?” Simon asked. 

“I have three things, so we’ll see how much time we have. First one is why you don’t want to go a NRA Restaurant.

Everyone laughed already. 

 

Connor: 10. Freshest meat in town because they shoot it right before your eyes. 

Jim: So what are we supposed to say to this?

Blair: Would you eat somewhere where they shoot the food in front of your eyes?

Jim: Sure. 

Blair: I said no fighting. 

Jim: I’m not fighting. 

Blair: You would eat something that you saw someone kill?

Jim: If you’re hungry enough you can eat anything.

Blair: You are not getting lucky tonight.

Simon: I agree with Jim. 

Sully: I think you’re not getting any either. 

Simon: Sully, it’s just a survey. 

Sully: Well that’s just sex. 

Simon pouted and everyone was trying not to burst out laughing. 

Joel: I would never eat at this restaurant. 

Connor: Why? If you’re hungry, you should eat. 

Joel: So I would still get sex if I went there? 

Connor: When did this turn into a sex for food contest? 

Sam: Hey, I like that. Let’s have one. 

Dan: Sex for food contest?

Sam: Yes. How about it, Henry? 

Brown: Sounds good to me. I know that Bri would never eat at that restaurant that y’all are talking about. 

Rafe: Bull. I love Venison and quail. If they shot it, cleaned it and cooked it, I would be eating it. 

Simon: Could we move this one along? While I still have reason to live. 

Sully kissed him and reminded him of what he was going to miss out on and he moaned. Now everyone did laugh out loud. 

 

Connor: 9. Bulletproof lobster bibs. 

Rafe: (Falling out of his chair.) I love this one. 

Brown: I think it’s stupid. 

Jim: I don’t even know what to say to this one. 

Blair: I do. Bahahahahahahahahahahhaha.

Joel: I agree with Blair. Very funny. 

Simon: I think it’s kind of funny in an odd sort of way. 

Sully: So it’s a little like you. 

Simon: You want me to show you whose boss?

Sully: Oh honey, they all know already. 

Everyone laughs. 

Dan: I love this and I want one. 

Sam: A bulletproof bib? You got it. I’m sure I’ll be able to find one anywhere. 

Simon: You’re all weird. 

Blair: And like you’re not? 

Simon: Remember whom you’re talking to Sandburg. 

Jim: Don’t yell at him and call him Sandburg. 

Simon: I call him Sandburg all the time. 

Jim: Just don’t yell it. I’m the only one that gets to yell his name and it’s not when I’m mad either. 

Simon: Oh Jesus. We’re only on the second one and already talking about sex. Jim, do you remember that I get none?

Blair: Oh poor baby. We’ll think about you while Jim is fucking my ass tonight. 

Simon: God, I could have gone all year long without hearing that. 

Blair: What did you think he fucked, Simon?

Simon: Shut up.

Everyone laughed. 

 

Connor: 8. Mandatory seven-day waiting period between ordering dinner and dessert. 

Jim: Is it just me, or does it seem like sometimes it takes this long at a restaurant? 

Blair: Oh yeah. We went to a place the other night and while we were waiting I had time to blow Jim twice. 

Jim: Chief, tell them you’re joking. 

Blair: I didn’t think you’d want them to know how many times I really did. 

Jim: He’s joking. 

Blair: There was a tablecloth, man. No one saw. 

Rafe: We saw. We were across the table. 

Jim: You were not. 

Brown: Jim, you’re so fucking easy. 

Rafe: I guess so if he’s letting Blair blow him at a restaurant.

Jim: Sandburg is joking.

Blair: Yeah, I’m only kidding. (Said with much sarcasm.)

Simon: I think we need to move this along. Jesus, what was it about again? OH yeah, the waiting period between dinner and dessert. I wouldn’t go to a place that made me wait seven days.

Blair: Sully, give him blowjobs and he’ll wait for a month. 

Simon: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Sully: Honey do you want me to give you blowjobs in a restaurant?

Simon: No.

Sully: Okay. 

Simon: Shit, I hate this. If you felt like giving me one, I would gladly take it.

Sully: In a restaurant, while waiting for dinner? 

Simon: You know I love the way you suck me. I would take it anywhere.

Sam: I say we all go to a restaurant and while we wait for our order we blow one or the other. In my case I want Dan to eat me. To hell with dinner. 

Dan: (Laughing) You’re evil.

Blair: So we’re not going to do this afterwards? Damn. 

Sam: I see one problem with this. Who’s going to take care of us?

Dan: Come here baby. 

Simon: Let’s get this damn thing over with so we can go home. 

Dan: The boss has spoken. 

Sam: He’s not our boss honey.

Simon: I am tonight. 

Everyone laughed. 

Connor: Now why is it that we are the most sex-starved bunch in Cascade? Or do you suppose everyone does this?

Joel: I like to think that everyone does it.

Jim: So do I. 

Simon: Are we going back to this or not? 

 

Connor: I’m going to move it to the next survey. It’s more fun I think. Top Ten Reasons Why Karaoke Is Better Than Sex.

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Connor: See, already it’s better. 10. With Karaoke, you're always sure you can find someone worse than you are.

 

Jim: Well this is true. I mean, I also wonder if I satisfy Blair as well as someone else used to. 

Blair: What? Are you brain dead? No one, and I mean no one could fuck me better than you do big boy. 

Jim: I love when he talks to me like this. (Kisses Blair.)

Connor: What about you Blair?

Blair: Yeah, it crosses my mind sometimes. But then I remember that I have him and I get to make him feel good all the time. And the doubts leave. 

Jim: Baby you do things to me that I never thought I would feel. So never worry about being as good. 

Blair: Thanks. (Kisses Jim.)

Simon: I worry about this all the time. 

Sully: Si, you don’t? Really? OH god, I can’t believe that. No one has ever made me come five times in one night. You’re good.

Simon: Smiling, but blushing. They didn’t need to know everything, but thank you. (Kisses Sully.)

Dan: I worry about this too. 

Sam: (Mouth hanging open.) I can’t believe this. I love the way you fuck me and hold me afterwards. You’re my other half, honey. And I forgot to mention you do it really well. 

Dan: I love you, Sam. (Kisses Sam)

Joel: I don’t really worry about this because while we make love she keeps telling me that no one has ever made her feel this way. I’m secure for the moment. (Laughs)

Connor: He is secure and not just for the moment.

Brown: Okay, I worry about it. 

Rafe: (His turn to have his mouth hanging open.) H, how many times have I told you how fantastic you make me feel? 

Brown: But I worry anyhow. I’m sorry. 

Rafe: You don’t have to be sorry, but I want you to know that I love you and love the way you fuck me too. 

Brown: I’ll try and remember that. 

Simon: We could move on now. 

 

Connor: 9. You don't feel obligated to buy someone dinner for singing Karaoke with you. 

Jim: Well we don’t feel obligated these days to pay for anything. I mean, who is supposed to pay for the meal? The guy or the woman? Or if it’s two guys, which one? And if it’s two women, which one? I’m so confused. 

Blair: Laughing. I think that it’s a given that the larger person has to pay. 

Everyone busts out laughing. 

Connor: I agree. 

Joel: So you’re saying I’m large?

Connor: Honey bear, you’re larger than I am. 

Joel: That’s true. 

Connor: So you have to pay. 

Brown: Oh cool, Bri has to pay.

Rafe: What? We’re the same height. 

Brown: I’m one inch shorter, oh tall one. You’re paying.

Simon: He has you there, Rafe. This one is funnier, Connor. And I’ll gladly pay because my wife said those nice things a moment ago.

Sully: Hot damn. (Self remember what a slut he is.)

Dan: I’ll pay gladly also. 

Sam: For theirs? That’s so nice of you. 

Dan: For me and you, goofy. 

Sam: Goofy? Okay, no more sex for you. We’ll have to sing Karaoke.

Jim: Well I would gladly pay for all of you some night for dinner. I’m asking you all out.

Simon: Occasion?

Jim: Nope. Just happy and want to be with our friends. Oh wait, I better ask Blair if he likes all of you. 

Blair: Very funny. That would be fun. 

Simon: What night?

Jim: Saturday?

Everyone: We’re on. 

Jim: Okay. We’ll meet at Simoni’s at 8 on Saturday.

Simon: I think we could move on. We might get lunch in the next one. (Laughing)

 

Connor: 8. When you sing Karaoke, it's OK to have multiple partners. 

Jim: I feel like we’ve done this survey. But how does everyone feel about multiple partners? 

Blair: If I’m with you I might consider it. 

Joel: Same here. As long as I’m with Meggie, I might give it a go. 

Simon: I guess we all trust each other enough that we could do anything. 

Sully: I think so too. 

Rafe: I agree. 

Brown: I think so too. 

Dan: I agree also. 

Sam: God, is it hot in here or what?

Simon: So we’re on for group sex when? And where? (Laughing.)

Connor: Our house Sunday night at seven.

Everyone just looked at each other. 

Jim: You’re joking right?

Connor: No, we’ve been dancing around this for a while now. 

Jim: I want to keep dancing. 

Joel: (laughing) I agree with Jim. Let’s give it more time. Like ten years, or so. 

Simon: Damn, we were this close, Connor. 

Sully: (smacks Simon on the arm) Better watch it bucko. 

Simon: I guess we could move on. 

 

Connor: 7. It's OK to sing Karaoke with your sister. 

Blair: (Falls out of his chair.) Jim, have you ever thought about doing anything with your brother?

Jim: Ewwwww. That’s gross Chief.

Rafe: I wouldn’t do anything with my siblings either. YUK.

Brown: My sisters would kill me if I tried anything. Not to mention I respect them too much. 

Rafe: You don’t respect me?

Brown: OH yes. I respect that cock, those balls and that ass every chance I can.

Rafe: (Laughing) You’re forgiven. 

Dan: Siblings are a no-no. 

Sam: Tell me about it. Mine is sitting right here. 

Sully: I know. Creepy. I would never do anything like that. 

Simon: Glad to hear it. I’d hate to have Dan and I crying in our beer because our wives are doing each other. (Laughing) 

Joel: I think it’s gross too. 

Connor: I agree. 

Jim: Blair, you never said how you felt about it.

Blair: I guess I think it would be okay. Because he’s really hot.

Jim: (Looking confused.) Who’s hot? 

Blair: Steven, you nut. 

Jim: He’s my brother. You’re going to get it when we leave. 

Blair: That’s the plan, baby. 

Simon: Okay, I think it’s safe to move on. 

 

Connor: 6. With Karaoke, you never have to be sorry about forgetting your lines. 

Jim: What the hell does this mean? 

Blair: Like forgetting holidays, birthday’s and so on. That’s my guess. 

Jim: So do you agree? 

Blair: No, I like to be remembered. 

Jim: But I don’t? 

Blair: Jim, remember how we said we weren’t going to hurt each other. That includes arguing. I love you. 

Jim: God, I love you too. 

Blair: I want you all to witness how many times he calls me Jesus or God. And then he wonders why I’m under pressure in the bedroom. 

Everyone roars with laughter. 

Joel: I’m pretty good at remembering things. 

Connor: He is, but I remember all things for him also. 

Dan: I am too. 

Sam: He is and so am I. 

Simon: I try. 

Sully: And mostly always remembers. I try not to forget either. 

Rafe: I always remember. 

Brown: I’ll try harder. Wait a minute do you women remember things? 

Sully: I just said I did. 

Brown: Geeze, why not jump down my throat?

Simon: Sully always remembers things. 

Connor: I don’t think I’ve forgotten anything for us, have I honey bear? 

Joel: Nope. 

Sam: I remember everything. Some would call me anal. Not Dan, but some. 

Dan: Well I like the presents and cards, so that’s all right. 

Simon: Oh good, another one done. 

 

Connor: 5. It's OK to drink too much and sing Karaoke. 

Blair: (Falls off chair.) This is so true. God, I can’t fuck worth a damn when I’m drunk.

Jim: Chief, I think they meant, drink and drive. (Laughing very hard.)

Blair: Sorry everyone. 

Joel: Well I think we all get a little soft when we’re drinking. So I’m not going to say a word

Simon: I have a hard time also. I guess not a hard time. I have a soft time also. (Laughing)

Sully: All right where is my husband?

Simon: Pulls Sully in for a kiss and says out loud, I’m not drinking tonight.

Sully: Hot damn. 

Dan: I have a difficult time after drinking too much too, Blair and Joel. How about you Jim?

Jim: No, I don’t have a difficult time. 

Blair: He can always get it up. (Sighs)

Rafe: And you’re complaining, why?

Brown: Yes, I would love to be like that. 

Blair: (Smiles at Jim.) It is nice. I was just trying to make everyone feel better. 

Simon: Oh great balls of fire. Another burned up. On we go. 

 

Connor: 4. With Karaoke, no one will complain about the size of your microphone. 

 

Jim: I would never complain. Ever. 

Blair: Back at ya. 

Simon: I wouldn’t complain about you guys either. 

Blair: (Laughing) Sully what is he drinking?

Simon: I’m drinking iced tea. You all keep telling me I’m no fun. So I’m trying. 

Blair: It’s working Simon. You’re being fun. 

Sully: I would never complain about Simon’s. 

Simon: Simon’s what?

Sully: Equipment. 

Simon: Why are we discussing that? 

Jim: Hand me his tea, please. Simon this is a Long Island Iced Tea. 

Simon: I ordered Iced Tea and they said, Long Island and I told them, I don’t care where it’s from. It’s good too. 

Everyone was cracking up when they realized Simon was serious. 

Jim: How many has he had?

Sully: I think three. 

Jim got up and went out to the bar and got him a regular iced tea and brought it back to the table. 

Jim: Do you like sugar in your tea?

Simon: Yeah. The others didn’t have enough sugar. 

Sully: Oh save me now. 

Connor: I think we can all agree that we aren’t unhappy with our SO’s equipment. So we’ll move on. 

 

Simon: I’ve been fucking replaced. 

Sully: Honey, we’re just moving to the next one. 

Simon: But that was my job. I loved that job. 

Connor: Is it time to move on yet, Simon?

Simon: Yes, Connor. Move this along. (Smiles happily) 

 

Connor: 3. It's OK to sing Karaoke in front of your neighbors. 

Jim: Thank god. 

Blair: What you don’t want anyone to see me?

Jim: No.

Blair: Oh I get it. Caveman thing? 

Jim: Jim thing. I don’t want someone staring at my man’s ass or anything else. 

Sully: I’ve often wondered if I could get Simon to make love to me in the back yard. Then the neighbors could look over the fence and see us going to town. (Fans herself)

Simon: (Touching his cock) It’s not cooperating, Sully. I don’t know if I can get it up tonight.

Everyone busts out laughing again. 

Rafe: I’d make love to Henry in our back yard. 

Brown: You’re on. 

Connor: We’ve done this many times and I know that the woman over there wants Joel big time. 

Joel: She does not. 

Connor: She does too. She’d be nuts not to want you. 

Joel: I love you. (Kisses Connor.)

Dan: I’d make love in front of our neighbors, but they’re blind. 

Sam: Oh they are not. God, you’re so naughty. You mean that? You’d make love to me in the back yard?

Dan: Babe, I’d make love to you almost anywhere. 

Sam: You’re on. 

Simon: Is it my turn?

Sam: Your turn for what, Simon? 

Simon: To say it’s time to move on, move over, move across, and move wherever you want, as long as you move.

Laughing went on for some time. 

 

Connor: 2. You'll never feel uncomfortable knowing your parents still sing Karaoke.

Jim: We’re looking forward to teasing our children. 

Blair: Yes, we’ve got some things written down in case we get old timers disease. 

Sully: Oh you are bad. 

Simon: What are you going to tell them?

Jim: Nothing bad Simon. Just kissing and holding hands type stuff. 

Simon: You don’t want to tell Drake when he’s 20, hey, I still stick my cock up Poppy’s ass every chance I get?

No one knew what to say. 

Sully: Simon, I want you to apologize right now. 

Simon: For what? That’s the truth. Jim, how do you think he’s going to feel about it when he’s 20?

Sully: Same way you will feel about sticking yours up my cunt. Now tell him your sorry. 

Simon: Sorry Jim. 

Jim: I didn’t know it still bothered you. 

Simon: Nothing has changed. 

Blair: I think we should let Simon ask Connor to move it along. 

Simon: Good idea Sandburg. Move this along, Connor.

 

Connor: 1. No one complains about a 3-minute Karaoke performance. 

 

Jim: I don’t complain about any performance. 

Simon: I think gay people aren’t as picky. 

Sully: SIMON! Shut your mouth. 

Blair: I feel the same as Jim. 

Simon: I doubt that. 

Jim: You got a problem Simon? 

Simon: Why did you take my tea? 

Jim: (Shakes his head in confusion.) What are you talking about? 

Simon: You took my fucking tea and now I don’t feel good anymore. 

Sully: Why do you think you need to be drunk, honey? 

Simon: Because.

Sam: Because why? 

Simon: I can’t say it. 

Sully: Whisper it to me.

Simon: No, I’m not saying it to anyone. 

Simon walked out of the room and went to the restroom. 

Sully: Jim, could you check on him?

Jim: Sure. (Just what he wanted to do.)

Walking in, he saw Simon leaning against the wall crying. 

“Simon, what’s wrong?”

“I fucked someone else.”

“What? When?” Jim was shocked. 

“I fucked a guy. That’s right a guy. I wanted to try it, so I did. Sully and I were having some troubles. She wasn’t giving me any sex so I figured I’d do some experimenting. It’s just gotten back to good with her lately. And I’m trying to be happy. But all I think of is fucking that guys ass.” Simon finally took a breath. 

“First of all, were you safe?”

“Yes, we used condoms.”

“Did you just sleep with him the one time?” Jim asked. 

“Yes. But he continues to call me and I want to go out with him.”

“He’s a cop?” Jim asked. 

“Yeah, in Robbery. You might know him…”

“I don’t want to know him. Simon, Sully is your life. You’ve told me that many times. And now you tell me all you can think about is fucking someone’s ass? Well then fuck Sully’s.” Jim was yelling. 

“She would never let me. I know her.”

“Try. God, Simon, don’t leave Sully over some guy you don’t really know. What about the baby?” Jim had worked himself up into a state by this time. 

“I’m not leaving her, I just want to fuck him now and then.” Simon wasn’t looking into Jim’s eyes. 

“Do whatever you want. I don’t fucking care. I’ll never forgive you if you leave her. She’s all that’s good about you. You’re like a different person since she came into your life. So just do your thing, I don’t want to know.” Jim opened the door up and stormed out of the restroom. 

Simon caught up with Jim and asked, “You’re not going to tell her, right?”

“Fuck you Simon. I hate you.” Jim entered the room and everyone could tell the two men were fighting. And not fist fighting. 

Sully: Simon honey, are you all right?

Simon: I’m fine baby. I want to apologize to everyone for being an ass. I had too many drinks tonight. 

Everyone accepted his apology except Jim. 

Jim: I hate to cut it short, but we need to get home. I’ll see you all tomorrow. 

Jim stood up and leaned down to help Blair. He just wanted to touch him. 

Blair: Night everyone. See you tomorrow. 

Everyone: Night. Drive safe. 

As soon as Jim and Blair walked out everyone else got ready to go. No one knew exactly what happened, but they didn’t think it was anything good. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

When they arrived home, Jim walked Linda to her home next door and saw that she was safely inside. Going through the house, he locked up and turned off all of the lights. He walked into their room and saw a naked Blair on the bed. He smiled at his love and said, “Chief, I need a shower first.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Jim asked confused. 

“Why would you need a shower? Did Simon do something to you?” Blair stood up now and his erection was gone. 

“Simon didn’t do anything to me, besides irritate me. And I got sweaty from the argument. Can I take one baby? Then I’ll show you how much I love you.”

“Make it quick. I need you.” Blair snapped. 

“You got it.” Jim showered fast and returned to the bedroom in record time. 

Jim crawled onto the bed and pulled Blair into his arms. “God, Chief. You feel nice. You smell nice. I love you so much.”

Blair held Jim for a change and said, “Jim, let go.”

And Jim did just that. No one else would have seen the pain or hurt, but Blair did. Jim cried his heart out and Blair just held on for dear life. 

Once he stopped Blair asked, “Want to tell me about it?”

“No. I can’t. It’s something so personal that I just can’t. I’m sorry.” Jim just kept trying to get closer. 

“He’s fucking around on Sully isn’t he?”

“Once.”

“Well once is enough Jim. Do we know her?”

“Him. It’s him. He fucked someone’s ass and can’t get over how great it was. He wants both worlds.” Jim was so sad. 

“Jim, I don’t know how to tell you this, but he didn’t fuck anyone.” Blair pulled away from Jim. 

“Chief, he told me tonight. He told me what he did.”

“Jim, he was trying to make you jealous.” Blair said.

“Chief, listen to yourself. That’s insane. Why would he want to make me jealous?”

“Because he wants you to fuck him.” Blair was still calm. 

“Well I’m not.”

“No, you’re not. But he has to quit doing this to you. You and I will have to talk to him.” Blair advised. 

“Okay. Now can we fool around?” Jim kissed Blair softly and they made sweet love. There was no fucking that night. No, nothing but sweet, sweet love. 

They would have to deal with Simon tomorrow, but for right now, it was only them that counted. Jim and Blair were very thankful. 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 55


	56. Oh, Henri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fourth of July at Jim and Blair’s. The problem isn’t with them for a change. Some one is trying to hurt our dear Henri.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 56  
Oh, Henri  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 06/04/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: This one starts out funny and becomes serious and ends with some sweet sex. J I couldn’t resist. 

Summary: Fourth of July at Jim and Blair’s. The problem isn’t with them for a change. Some one is trying to hurt our dear Henri. 

Warnings: m/m Angst   
No beta. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 56  
Oh Henri  
Patt

4th of July

Jim opened up the door and found all of their friends standing there. “Do you all come together or what?” Laughing he stood aside to let everyone in. 

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I only come when Bri lets me come.” Brown teased as Rafe swooped in for a kiss. 

“Let’s have one day without all of the sex jokes.” Simon grumbled. 

“But where is the fun in that?” Dan asked as he made a run for the back yard, carrying Tristan. 

Blair was sitting beneath a tree, on a blanket, in the grass, reading a book. Dan believed it was one of the nicest things he’d seen in a long time. 

“Hey Blair, look whose here?” Dan sat Tristan down and the little guy ran right for Blair. 

“Trissy. Trissy. How is my baby boy?” They cuddled together while Dan went to say hello to Rayne, in her playpen. “How is our littlest baby doll?” Rayne smiled up at him and put her hands out. Dan lifted her up and knew he was going to be in trouble with this one. She was only six months old and already had everyone wrapped around her finger. 

Everyone came walking out the back door and Blair looked up to greet everyone with a large smile on his face. 

“Look Daddy, a jumping castle.” Lancy screamed to Henri as she ran towards a jumping Drake and Jade. 

“Do you think that Ellie is old enough to go in there?” Connor asked Jim. 

“Yeah, let me have that little angel. Let’s go have some fun my little bubby.” Jim walked over and took both of their shoes off and climbed in. 

Blair was talking to everyone and looked around for Jim and Simon said, “Looking for Jim?”

“Have you seen him? I can’t find him.” Blair looked almost worried. 

“He’s been in the jumping castle.” Simon smiled. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” Blair stormed over to the jumping castle and saw Jim and Rafe with all of the kids. “Jim, could you come out here please?”

Rafe knew Jim was in big trouble just from Blair’s tone of voice. “Hey Sandburg, want to join us?”

“No, I want to talk to Jim. Alone.” Blair stormed into the house and sat at the kitchen table waiting. He watched Jim as he climbed out and put on his shoes. 

“Hey Chief. What’s up?”

“Jim, do you want me to leave you?”

“What are you talking about? I love you. I haven’t done anything.”

“Who was told not to jump excessively?” Blair glared at his mate. 

“You worried about my back, Chief?”

“Yes. I’m worried about you and your back. If I ever see you jumping in a jumping castle again, I’m going to kick your ass right in front of everyone.” Blair pulled him into a hug and Jim could feel him shaking. 

“Okay. I promise. I’m sorry I scared you.” Jim leaned down and kissed his man soundly. 

“All right, go and play. Just no jumping.” Blair smiled. 

“Will you go and jump with Drake and Jade? They were really into it with me.”

“You betcha.” Blair took off for the castle. 

Everyone watched Jim sit down near the grill and almost laughed. They knew he had just gotten in some deep trouble. 

“Sandburg pissed about you jumping?” Simon asked laughing. 

“Shut up, Simon. How was I to know that was included in jumping?” Jim snapped. 

Everybody burst out laughing. Simon walked over towards Rayne and picked her up. “Is everyone ignoring you my little sweetie pie?” Simon cooed to her. 

Jim laughed and said to everyone, “Yeah, he’s not whipped.”

Sully said happily, “You should see him at home with Simone. I kid you not, Jim, it’s wonderful.”

Simon sat Rayne down on the blanket in the grass along side Simone. Simone loved baby Rayne. Everyone laughed watching them talk to each other and play. 

“These family get-to-gether’s are the best thing in the world, don’t you think?” Jim asked.

Sully smiled and said, “Our kids will always have a huge family. Something that most of us wished we had. And not even the huge part so much as, the fun part.”

Sam said, “I couldn’t agree more. I love all of these darlings.” She sat Tristan down on the big blanket to play with the other babies. 

“Megan, bring Ellie over.” Jim called out. 

“Whoa, we didn’t see that coming.” Simon made fun. 

Connor yelled, “She’s in the castle you nut.”

Dan got a camera out and began to take pictures right and left. He wanted this day to last forever. He would have to take more of the kids in the castle too. 

Brown walked up to Jim and asked, “Daddy Jim. Daddy Jim. My stomach hurts can I sit with you?”

Jim laughed and opened his arms out only to find them filled with one Henri Brown. 

“Henri, you’re running a fever. Is something hurting you?” Jim was worried now. 

“Jim I feel really bad.” Henri answered as he curled into his friend and Jim found out just how heavy Henri was. 

Simon walked over and said, “This is a new look for the two of you.” 

Sully and Sam both laughed. Dan didn’t like the way Henri’s skin looked so he got up to look at him. 

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Dan, help me.” Jim threw Henri to the ground and the two of them started CPR. Sully called an ambulance while trying to keep things calm. 

“Jim, nothing’s happening here. We’ve got to get him breathing soon.” Dan was winded from all of the compression’s to Brown’s chest. 

The EMT’s came through the door and Dan and Jim gladly let them take over. Simon walked over to the castle and leaned in. “Rafe, come with me.”

“Can’t Simon. I’m busy having fun.” Rafe was giggling like a child, along with all of the other kids. 

Simon yelled very loudly, scaring them all, “Rafe, now.”

He then knew something was wrong and he flew out of the castle. He saw the EMT’s working on someone and realized it was his someone. // Oh god, oh god, oh god. //

Simon climbed into the castle with Blair to calm the kids. Drake saw the EMT’s and had to talk about it right away. 

“Who’s on the ground?” Drake asked. 

“It’s my Daddy. It’s my Daddy. I need to go see him.” Lancy started crying. 

“Delancy, you’re going to let those Medical men take care of your Daddy and you’ll stay with Uncle Simon and me.” Blair held her very close. 

Jim popped his head into the castle and said, “Dan and I are going with Henri. We’ll call soon.” There wasn’t even time for a kiss. Blair knew that things were really bad. 

Once they had all left, Simon and Blair brought the kids out of the castle. All of them were crying by then. 

Sully, Sam and Connor all helped with the children so the men could focus on what happened. 

“Poppy, can we use your bedroom?” Drake asked. 

“For what honey?”

“We’re going to all take a nap and want to be all together. Miss Ellie can sleep with us too. Auntie Sam can Tristan lay with us? And Auntie Sully can Simone lay with us? We need to be together.” Drake looked and sounded so grown up it almost made Blair break down and cry. Almost being the key word. 

“Sounds wonderful, Drakey.” Sully carried Simone in and was followed by Sam carrying Tristan. Blair came last carrying Rayne. They laid them all on the bed and put music on and soon they were all asleep. 

Sully went and got the digital camera and took about 20 pictures of the kids. It was the sweetest thing she ever saw in her life. Blair looked over and saw her crying and pulled her out of the room. He held on to her and said, “We have to believe everything will be all right.”

“Yes, we do.” Simon agreed. “Honey, thank you for getting those pictures, they are all so precious.”

“We’re all so fucking lucky, aren’t we?” Joel asked no one in particular.

There was no need for reply. They all gathered in the kitchen and poured coffee for each other. 

“Did anyone notice that something was wrong with Henri today?” Blair felt horrible about not noticing he was sick. 

“Blair, I think it came on fast. Jim was even surprised.” Simon stated. 

“I hope they call soon.” Connor said softly. 

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At the hospital, it was a friggin nightmare. The doctor on call was Doctor Sands and he recognized Dan right away. “Doctor Wolfe, I would appreciate any help you could give me. We’re not having any luck here. He’s on a respirator right now. That’s the only thing keeping him alive. I thought you might be able to use some of your detecting type skills ahead of time, so that we won’t lose this one.”

“Gladly. This is Detective Jim Ellison and he’ll be my assistant. I need his help. I need to run and get some things from my lab. Jim, you stay here.” Dan took off running all the way down the stairs.

Jim turned to Rafe and said, “Dr. Sands, this is Henri’s SO, Detective Brian Rafe.”

“Detective Rafe, please sit in the waiting room and we’ll come to tell you any news as soon as possible.” 

Rafe sadly walked back into the waiting room. 

“Come on in Detective.” Dr. Sands invited. 

“Jim, please.” 

“Jim, I sure hope you can help with this because the only thing keeping him alive right now is us zapping him now and then and the respirator.”

“So he’s not getting any better at all?” Jim asked sadly. 

“Worse. Every hour he seems to get worse. We’re running tests but we don’t know what to think until the results get back.” Dr. Sands said. 

“What results are you waiting on?”

“He looked like he was poisoned, but he was with the rest of you, so you would have all had to have been giving the same substance. Right?” Sands hoped that Jim could help. 

“Dr. Wolfe and I will look into it. I need to go over Henri’s body. I know this is going to sound strange, but I have great eyesight and a keen sense of smell. I want to see if I can find if he was injected somehow with poison.” Jim didn’t wait for an answer he walked over and asked if he could do it alone. 

“Jim, I’ll send everyone out but myself. I have to stay.”

“Okay.” And Jim got busy; he started at the top of Henri’s head and worked his way down until he had checked every bit of the front of Henri’s body. “Dr. Sands, how can I check the back of him?”

“I’ll roll him to one side and we’ll have to do half at a time.”

“Thank you.” Jim started checking the same way he did on the front and Dan walked in. Jim explained what he was doing. 

Jim got to Henri’s hip and said, “Dan, there’s something in here. I need you to get it out and it has a horrible smell.” 

The two doctors stood side by side with scalpels to get ready to get it out. Jim placed his finger to the spot that they needed to cut into and they began. Dan got the surgical tweezers and pulled some type of tiny needle out of Henri’s hip. He placed it in a glass bottle and set it aside. The two doctors then checked the site out for infection. It was horribly infected already and so they knew they were going to be busy getting this man better. 

“Dan, please run tests on that and I’ll finish here. I’ll take many samples for you so you can run more tests on them too. If I need help I’ll get someone else. I need your help downstairs right now.” Dr. Sands almost pleaded. 

Dan went down to his lab and got to work. Jim sat in the waiting room with Rafe and hoped there would be good news soon. All of the nurses had moved back into the room now, so Jim felt better for Henri. As he sat there he watched a woman walk by and stare through the glass at Henri. Jim knew this woman he just couldn’t place her. He turned to Rafe and said, “Bri, you ever seen this woman before?”

Rafe looked over and saw her and said, “Yeah. I know her.”

“Well who is she? Refresh my memory.” Jim was irritated and didn’t know why. 

“I met her at that Special Training Seminar. Her name is Marsha Miller.” Rafe said quickly. 

Now Jim was pissed. He remembered. Fuck…

She saw Rafe sitting there and walked over to him. “Hi sweetie. I heard what happened and came over to see if you needed some company.”

“I have Jim here.” Rafe said quietly. 

“Why are you here?” Jim asked rudely. 

“I already explained. Rafe and I are friends. I’m here for him.” Marsha smiled sweetly and Jim wanted to slap that smile right off her face. 

Jim got up and went for another cup of coffee. There was something about this woman that bothered him. He walked back into the waiting room and she had her hand on Rafe’s upper thigh. Jim was in shock. 

“I hope I’m not fucking interrupting.” Jim snarled. 

“So Brian how is Henri anyway?”

“He’s bad. The doctor’s not giving me much to go on right now.” Rafe said sadly. 

Jim watched her as she held Rafe’s hand. It pissed him off that Rafe didn’t seem to notice. She was all over the man while he was waiting to find out about his lover in the hospital waiting room. 

“Honey, why don’t we go and take a walk? They can call us on our cells if they need us. We need some fresh air.” Marsha stood up and pulled Rafe up and Jim was going to say something but before he had a chance Rafe said, “I’m sorry. I can’t leave Henri. He’s my life. I need to stay here.” And then Rafe sat back down and held Jim’s hand again, like he was before she came into the picture. 

She leaned into his ear and whispered, “I can make you forget everything for a little while at least.”

“No you can’t. I would have to live with that and if Henri died, that would even be worse. So I’m sorry but I don’t want you here.” Rafe moved closer to Jim and Jim glared at her. 

Marsha Miller was smart enough not to mess with Jim Ellison. She stormed out of the room and both men tried to just relax. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

“God, how long have they been there?” Simon asked. 

“Six hours I think.” Blair answered. 

Sully asked, “What did Jim say again the last time he called?”

“He said that he found the site that had the small needle that poisoned him and they were working like mad to save his life.” Blair recited for the third time that night. 

“It’s just so sad. He’s such a sweet boy. I don’t want anything to happen to him.” Connor said in a whisper.

Joel hugged her and agreed, “None of us do, honey.”

“I’ll make some dinner and we’ll get the kids to watch a DVD. Something like a nice fun cartoon. It’ll take their minds off of things.” Blair said heading into the kitchen to cook. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Dan woke Jim up, who was holding a sleeping Rafe. “Jim, I have some news.”

“Bri, wake up. Dan has some news.”

“What?”

“I found the poison in his system with help from the Poison Control Technician Specialist. Anyhow, we figured it out, they brought us the serum and he’s beginning to breath on his own. They took the tube out and things are looking up.” Jim could see the exhaustion in Dan’s face. 

“Dan, they had mentioned brain damage. Do you think he has it?” Rafe asked scared to know and scared not to know. 

“They’re running some tests now to see if they can give you some answers. But the main thing we’re focusing on right now is to get him better and awake. One step at a time, Rafe.” Dan said calmly. 

“So where did this poison come from?” Jim asked. 

“We’re starting the investigation now. It’s not something you can find just anywhere. It had to have been an inside job. Probably a cop. There was a break-in reported at two different precincts. So we’re going to have to be questioning cops first.” Dan had hoped he didn’t have to tell them this. 

“How close did we come to losing him, Dan” Rafe asked. 

“He was almost dead when I went in with the serum. Another ten minutes would have been too late. Rafe, you’re both damn lucky he’s alive. You make sure and take good care of him when he wakes up.” Dan hugged Rafe and added, “Off to finish paperwork and start that investigation. Talk to you in an hour or so.” 

“I promise to love him forever, Dan. Thank you.” Rafe called after his friend. 

“Rafe, I’m going to go and get us something to eat. We have to eat. I’ll be right back.” Jim left to run to Wonderburger.

Rafe laid his head back and fell asleep while Jim was gone. The next thing he knew Henri was rubbing his cock and god it felt good. He was getting closer and closer to coming. Then Henri went down on him and began to suck in earnest. Rafe was meeting each sucking motion with his own thrusts. He was moaning softly and still not awake. Jim walked into the waiting room and saw what was happening and couldn’t believe it. Then he realized that Rafe was sleeping. 

He walked over and yanked her off of Rafe’s cock. “Get the fuck away from him.”

“He wanted it. He asked me to.” Marsha spat out. 

“He’s asleep, you idiot. Get out of here now.” Jim hollered again and Rafe woke up. He looked down and saw his cock sticking up and said, “Oh god.” He made a mad dash into the men’s room before he threw up.

“Now leave.” Jim pointed to the exit. 

“He loves me. He will come to me eventually. He only picked Brown because of you. You scare him.”

“Good, cuz I’ll kick his ass if he hurts Brown.” Jim was still yelling. 

“Who do you think did this to him, Ellison? Think about it.” And Marsha walked away. 

Rafe came out of the restroom and sat down. “I was sleeping, I swear.”

“I know you were, Bri. Sit down. You need to eat.”

“That’s all you’re going to say?” Rafe was scared. He knew that Jim knew. 

“Yeah, eat.”

“Jim, I only slept with her once. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was getting into. She’s become this stalker. She follows me everywhere when I’m alone.”

Jim had tears in his eyes when he looked at Rafe. “You told Henri that you chose him. He was so fucking grateful to you. You lied.”

“Yes, I did lie. Please don’t tell him. He’ll leave me.” Rafe begged. 

“Why do you care? Go and be with the stalker. She might be fun. She looked like she was having fun when I got here.” Jim was angry now. 

“Jim, please? Don’t tell him. I love him so much.”

“Then why did you sleep with her?”

“Why did you sleep with Carolyn?” Rafe shot back. 

“Touché. I won’t say a word. You should tell him. You owe him that. She’s going to tell him. I can see it in her eyes.”

“When he’s better and home.” Rafe agreed. 

“Do you think she could hurt Henri?” Jim suddenly thought of her being the one that might have hurt their Brown. 

“She’s a stalker, not a murderer. Geeze Jim. Calm down.” Rafe almost smiled. 

“Calm down? He almost died, Brian. Two precincts had the poison, how much do you want to make a bet, she works at one of them?” Jim was very angry. 

“I’ll call Simon and tell him to check her out. God, I hope it’s not her.” Rafe walked into the restroom to make the phone call. 

Jim had his eyes closed and head leaned back when he heard the girl come into the hospital again. He could smell her overpowering perfume also. He tracked her with his eyes closed and realized she was going into Henri’s room. Jim got up and walked over to the room and caught Marsha trying to put a pillow over Henri’s mouth and nose. 

Jim grabbed her, throwing her against the wall and then made sure Henri was all right. He buzzed for a nurse so he could call the police and give this bitch to them. 

Marsha and Jim walked out of Henri’s room and Rafe came around the corner at the same time. “What are you doing?”

“Yeah, tell Brian what you were doing, you fucking bitch.”

“He doesn’t deserve you, Brian. I was trying to tie up loose ends.” Marsha shouted. 

“With a pillow over Henri’s mouth and nose. Isn’t that great, Brian?” Jim was past pissed off now. 

Rafe shoved her so hard she flew into the wall. “You fucking bitch. I can’t believe this. I didn’t like fucking you and I tried to be nice about it. I didn’t want to tell you what a horrible lay you were. But you had to go and do all of this shit. Well, now you know. You fuck badly. You suck even worse and you look better with your clothes on. It never would have worked for us. I like beauty and Henri has that. I love sex and Henri could do it better than you any day. I just can’t believe you tried to kill him. Why didn’t you waste some of your time and energy on sex lessons.” Rafe was shouting the entire time. 

Jim almost laughed when he heard all of this. If things weren’t so serious, he might have thought about it. The bitch was ready to scratch Rafe’s eyes out. Jim couldn’t wait. 

Four officers from MC came walking in and took the bitch and put her in cuffs. 

Rafe gave them a statement, then Jim gave his and the cops took off with her screaming the whole way. 

“Rafe, that speech you made to the bitch, was great.” Jim smiled at his friend, even though he was still angry. They both sat down for a moment in the waiting room. 

“It’s the fucking truth, man. She was a lousy lay. I kept thinking, about why in the world would I leave Henri for her?” Rafe wasn’t smiling. 

“Call Simon and the others and tell them we caught her.” Jim loved bossing Rafe. 

Rafe moved closer to Jim and buried his face into Jim’s chest and began to cry. “Rafe, what’s wrong?”

“I would have lost him if you wouldn’t have been here. Thank you.” Rafe cried very softly so no one else would have even heard him. 

Jim pulled his cell phone out and called the house. “Sandburg.”

“Hey baby. I wanted to tell you all that we got her. It was the girl Rafe met at that Special Training Seminar. I just call her the bitch. I caught her trying to bump off Henri just a little while ago. Rafe would be telling you, but he’s busy crying. He’s going to be sucking up to Henri big time when Henri gets better. Anyhow, now we just need our boy to wake up.” Jim missed Blair so much. 

“He slept with her? I can’t fucking believe it. Let me talk to that low life son-of-a-bitch.” Blair was pissed now. 

“It’s not the time, babe.”

“Yes, it is. Put him on.” Blair was the boss after all. 

“Sandburg?” Rafe said continuing to cry. 

“Rafe I want you to know that I’m very angry with you. But I love you and I want you to make Henri happy. He knew about it already. That bitch told him.” Blair explained. 

“OH god, he knew. He thought I didn’t love him?” Rafe cried harder. 

“No, he knew you loved him. He was trying to give you some room. How many times did you sleep with her?”

“Once.” Rafe said sadly. 

Blair explained further, “Henri knew that. He said that you came home, showered, and made love to him crying the entire time. But that was the only time, so he thought it was only once. But that bitch told him you were sleeping together all the time. He didn’t believe her.” 

“I love him so much.” Rafe said quietly. 

“Then remember that, Brian. Okay? I love you. Kiss Jim for me and I’ll talk to you later.” Blair hung up the phone and went to tell everyone most of what was going on. 

Rafe wiped his nose and turned to Jim and kissed him. “What are you doing?” Jim snarled. 

“Blair told me to. I always do what he says to do. Don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.” Jim laughed. 

“I’m going to see if I can sit in with Henri for awhile. I have a lot to tell him.” Rafe stood up and made his way over to the room. Dr. Sands came walking out and said, “Good news, your man is waking up and we’re taking him to a room upstairs right now.”

Jim and Rafe hugged each other and stood back as the hospital staff brought him out of that room and into the hall. Brown seemed to be sleeping and both Jim and Rafe were disappointed. 

When they got on the huge elevator, Rafe leaned down and kissed Henri on the lips. “I love you babe.”

“I love you too, Bri.” Henri answered groggily. 

“You’re awake?” Rafe asked happily. 

“No, I’m talking in my sleep, Bri. Of course I’m awake. Is Jim with you?” Brown asked. 

“Why don’t you open your eyes and see.” Jim teased. 

Henri opened and blinked repeatedly because of the bright lights. 

“I missed you babe.” Rafe said leaning down for another kiss. 

“Were you too worried?” Henri always worried about his man. 

“Never too worried about you, my love. Rest until we get upstairs and we’ll talk.” Rafe rubbed his head until Henri was asleep again. 

When he was settled in his own room, Jim talked to him for a few moments and then left the two men alone. Jim knew that Rafe needed to get some things out in the open and out of the way. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Driving home, Jim found himself smiling thinking about his family. God, he loved Blair and the kids. He hoped he never did anything stupid that would cause him to lose them. 

As Jim walked in the front door, everyone at the house attacked him. “Hey everybody.”

“So what’s going on?” Sully demanded to know. 

“Yes, we’ve been worried sick.” Linda said. 

“First of all, he’s doing really well. He’s in his own room now and he and Rafe are spending some quality time together. But Linda, please tell your sisters that their little brother wants to see you and them tomorrow. Okay?” 

“You got it Jim. I’m going to go home and call everyone right now. Night.” Linda walked out the door and Jim followed her. 

“Jim, I live next door. I think I can make it on my own.”

“Linda, what if something did happen to you if I didn’t walk you over? Henri would never forgive me. We all know how much he adores his sisters.” Jim walked her over. 

“Thank you Jim. You’re a good man and a great friend to my little brother.”

“It’s my pleasure doing both. We love you, Linda.” Jim leaned in and kissed her cheek. 

“Goodnight, Jim.” Linda walked in the door and Jim smiled at how lucky they were to have a nanny right next door. Course, it helped that Jim built the Nanny house. Jim laughed to himself on the walk back. 

“So when do we all get to see him?” Simon wondered aloud.

“Tomorrow morning. But two at a time is all. Give him time to catch up.” Jim looked very tired. 

“Okay, let’s get our kids and go home.” Simon said as he grabbed Simone and lifted her up. 

Sully asked, “Jim, should we take Lancy?”

“Nah. Leave her here. She’s used to the house and she’ll be close to her house.” Jim thought it would be best. 

As each couple left with their children, Jim and Blair said goodnight. Jim then walked in and took each of the kids, once at a time and put them in their rooms so he could be near his lover. 

Jim then got into the shower and Blair joined him. Both men were as hard as a rock and were thinking of moving it into the bedroom when Jim looked down and saw a silently crying Lancy. 

“Hey sugar, what’s wrong?” Jim picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. He didn’t have to worry about the hard-on, it was now gone. 

“My Daddy died didn’t he?” The poor little girl was sobbing. 

“Honey, I talked to him right before I came home and this is from him. Jim kissed her forehead, her cheeks, then on her little lips and finally her chin. Jim had seen Henri do this many times and knew it would make her feel better. 

“You promise he’s alive?”

“I promise. Wanna go back to bed now? You can sleep with Jade if you want.” Jim was trying to get their bed back again. 

“Yes, I’ll sleep with Jade. Thank you Uncle Jim and Uncle Blair. You can go back to kissing and stuff now.” She ran down the hallway and Jim heard her snuggle into Jade’s bed.

“Lock that damn door.” Jim ordered, laughing.

“You got it, master.”

Jim moved between Blair’s legs and began to kiss his way down to his lover’s cock. Arriving, he encircled it with his tongue, making Blair moan quietly with need. He slid his tongue across the slit and Blair started thrusting up into his mouth. By this time, he was begging in a Sentinel whisper and it was making Jim insane with need. 

“Chief, I want you inside of me.” Jim begged. 

“Oh shit, you got it.” Blair started getting Jim ready and didn’t think he would make it himself. Blair was right on the edge of coming. Jim reached down and squeezed Blair cock very hard and the need left for a bit. “Thanks, big man.”

“Fuck me.” Jim positioned his legs up into the air, and waited for Blair to pierce his needy hole. 

Blair started to thrust into Jim’s hole, hoping he could settle down long enough to not come in two minutes. The thrusting began to become more vigorous and Jim was begging already. Maybe they would come together. // Oh man, I love my slutty bottom boy. //

“Big man, tell me how I feel.”

“God, Chief, you make me feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven. Harder baby. Harder.”

“Jim, if I go any harder I’m going to come. I love you so much baby. You feel so good wrapped around my cock. I could spend all night in here.” Then Blair reached down and stroked Jim’s cock once and Jim came immediately with a yell. 

Blair tried to make his last as long as he could, but that only lasted for four thrusts. And he shot his come into Jim’s ass roaring his name.

“I love when you fuck me. Thank you.” Jim kissed Blair and Blair looked like he was going to fall asleep. “Chief, we have to get cleaned up and put boxers on.”

“Oh yeah, whose idea was it to have children again?” Blair smiled. 

“Both of ours. It’s one of the better ideas we ever had Blair. I love you.” Jim kissed him again. 

“I love you back. Are we going to go up to see Henri tomorrow?”

“Couldn’t hold any of us back, babe.” Jim smiled at him again. 

“You do love me, don’t you?” Blair looked surprised. 

“Oh yeah. And don’t you ever doubt it. Even when I’m an asshole, you still are mine and I’m yours.”

“Gotcha. I love you back. Night Jim.” Blair said after he finished cleaning them and they both put their boxers on. 

Jim got up and opened the door, to let the kids know that they could come to them. The next thing he knew it was morning. 

He could hear Jade and Lancy coming over to his side of the bed. He felt the cover coming up and Jade said, “See. A Penis Fairy comes during the night and makes the Daddy’s get hard so they have to go potty. Isn’t that cool?”

“Yes, its cool.” Lancy said in awe. 

“It used to be neater when he didn’t wear any underwear.” Jade said with a sound of disappointment in her voice. 

Jim almost laughed. 

“Jadey, what are you doing?” 

“Nothing Daddy. I had to esplain the penis fairy to her.” Jade said. 

“Oh I see. So what are you girls up to?” Jim asked trying to get the focus off his penis. 

“Uncle Jim? Do you think we can catch that fairy and send him over to my house?” Lancy asked. 

Blair started laughing into his pillow, as he had heard the last few things they said. These kids were just too cute for words. 

“Honey, the penis fairy already goes to your house.” 

“Oh goody. I was hoping the fairy would be there some day.” Lancy looked very happy. 

“Well, we better get up and get ready to go see a certain Daddy.” Jim said sliding out of bed. 

“Yay. I get to see my Daddy and my Papa today. Thank you Uncle Jim. Thank you Uncle Blair.” Lancy ran down the hall eager to get ready for the day. 

Jade jumped on the bed and pulled the covers back to see if the penis fairy had visited Blair. “Oh Poppy. You better hurry and go potty. Yours is leaking.”

“I’ll go right now, Jadey. Thank you for telling me.” 

She ran down the hallway to her room and Blair ran into their bathroom. 

“Want some candy big boy?” Blair stuck his cock out like a sucker and Jim went down on him instantly. 

Yes, this is how life is supposed to be. Fun, scary, frightening, sad, hurtful, joyful, amusing, cool, calm, relaxed, full of sex, and filled with love. They had it all. Life is good in Sullivan’s Pub. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 56  
Oh Henri

Thank you for reading. Come again.


	57. Let’s Hear It For The Boy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henri is still on the mend, so they have a Survey to cheer him up. It does. It will you too.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 57  
Let’s Hear It For The Boy!  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 06/04/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: This one is going to make you just feel good. It’s fun; it’s sweet and will make you feel complete. 

Summary: Henri is still on the mend, so they have a Survey to cheer him up. It does. It will you too. 

Warnings: m/m Silliness Abounds   
No beta. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 57  
Let’s Hear It For The Boy  
Patt

 

Connor had contacted everyone to be at Sullivan’s early. They all had to help Rafe practice. Jim was going to bring Brown an hour later. 

Rafe walked into the room and said, “First one that laughs at me, I’m not going to do it.”

“Sully thinks your quite romantic. I told her you’re just kissing up.” Simon teased. 

“It’s both, Sully. I love him so much. And I could have lost him.” Rafe suddenly looked very sad. 

Rafe handed Connor the CD and they put it in the player and Rafe began to sing the song. He did it three times and everyone just sat there with their mouths hanging open. He not only did it well, he did it great. 

Everyone was very excited and they watched for Jim and Brown to arrive. Dan and Simon went to get some drinks for the drunks and Sam yelled, “They’re here.”

“Oh shit.” Rafe was getting nervous. 

“Calm down, you sing beautifully.” Joel patted his back and gave him the push he needed. 

Jim and Henri walked into the room and everyone yelled hello. Brown knew something was up. Rafe went and got Henri and led him to his seat and said, “I’m going to sing for you tonight. Please don’t laugh at me.”

“I would never laugh at you, Babe.” Brown smiled up at him. 

“Well, you haven’t heard me sing yet.” Rafe smiled back. 

Connor got in position to start the CD player and they all held their breath as Rafe began to sing. 

My baby, he don't talk sweet  
He ain't got much to say  
But he loves me, loves me, loves me  
O know that he loves me anyway

And maybe he don't dress fine  
But I don't really mind  
'cuz every time he pulls me near  
I just wanna cheer:

 

Let's hear it for the boy   
Oh, let's give the boy a hand   
Let's hear it for my baby   
You gotta understand   
Maybe he's no Romeo   
But he's my loving one-man show   
Let's hear it for the boy! 

My baby may not be rich   
He's watching every dime   
But every night he holds me   
And we always have a real good time 

And maybe he sings off key   
That's all right by me   
But what he does, he does so well   
Makes me wanna yell  
Let’s here it for the boy.

Rafe had been singing in his chair opposite Brown and he found himself with a lap full of Henri. “That was beautiful, babe. I loved it. You’re so romantic.”

“I told you, Simon.” Sully bragged. 

“Connor are we going to do a survey tonight, or what?” Simon bellowed. 

“Why yes, we are. Tonight we have three to get through. So everyone be good. No fighting and no leaving.”

“What are they?” Jim asked.

“The first one is, top 16 things not to say to a cop.” Connor giggled just thinking of it. 

“This might be fun.” Sandburg teased. 

________________   
Top 16 Things NOT To Say To A Cop

Connor: 16. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Joel: Hey, I have one of those guts. 

Connor: You do not. 

Joel: Honey, I do. 

Jim: I’ve never noticed. 

Joel: (Laughing) You two. I swear, you’re related. 

Jim: (Holding up his fingers in the shape of a cross and making a hissing sound.) Don’t even jest. 

Blair: Back to the survey, I have wondered this sometimes. 

Jim: If Joel has a gut?

Blair: No, when I see a cop stopping someone and he’s all out of shape, how can he chase someone?

Rafe: I totally agree with you, Sandburg. 

Brown: You think I couldn’t catch a criminal?

Rafe: (Looking confused) What do you mean? 

Brown: I’m out of shape.

Rafe: You are not.

Simon: Well I think we should all start working out. 

Blair: Hey, what does this have to do with the survey? We’re in good shape, eh Connor? 

Connor: Perfect shape. I especially love Joel’s form. 

Simon: Stop it now. 

Sully: I love Simon’s form too. 

Sam: Well Dan doesn’t have to run after his patients, thankfully, but he’s in excellent form. I get that form every chance I can. 

Rafe: I love Henri’s form too. 

Brown: Why are you doing this to me?

Rafe: (alarmed) What?

Brown: I’ve been hard for a week. Geeze. 

Rafe: Sorry babe. But the doctor said to wait. 

Simon: We don’t want to know. 

Jim: I do. And Sandburg has a gorgeous form. 

Blair: (Laughing) Can I tell you about any form I want?

Jim: No. 

Blair: Then he’s just got really good form. My baby’s got form. (Folding his arms across each other like he singing rap.) 

Simon: Could we move this on?

Sully: What? We have no good form?

Simon: Sully has an excellent body. 

Dan: So does Sam. She’s gorgeous. I brought pictures if you want to see. 

Sam: He did not. We left those at home. 

They all laugh. 

Joel: My Meggie is gorgeous both inside and outside. So I luck out either way. 

Simon: All right, now can we move on?

 

Connor: 15. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum. 

 

Jim: This would be very stupid. 

Blair: Agreed. 

Joel: No one would be this dumb. 

Dan: Joel, you really shouldn’t tempt the gods. 

Brown: I’ve seen some dumb stuff, but this would get you dead. 

Rafe: Scary shit. 

Simon: I think it’s the dumbest thing I ever heard. 

Sully: I can’t imagine anyone ever saying that. 

Sam: Me either. 

Simon: Oh my god. Do you all realize we’re moving on?

 

Connor: 14. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

 

Blair: (Falls out of his chair.) Well this is funny. 

Jim: It wouldn’t be if you were pulling him over. 

Blair: Maybe not, but I would sure laugh later. 

Joel: I think it’s pretty funny Jim. 

Simon: Drinking and driving isn’t funny. 

Sully: Get a sense of humor. We’re just having fun here. 

Sam: I think it’s a riot. 

Dan: But if you had to work on all of the dead bodies from drunk drivers you wouldn’t be laughing. 

Sam: Danny, lighten up or you’re not getting any for a week.

Dan: Actually it is pretty funny. 

Rafe: I do think it’s funny, but if I were the cop that pulled them over I wouldn’t think it was. 

Brown: I agree. 

Simon: Another one bites the dust.  
Another one bites the dust.  
And another one gone and another one gone.  
Another one bites the dust, eh.  
Hey, I'm gonna get you too.  
Another one bites the dust.

Jim: Cute, Simon. You sing nice too.

Simon: Connor let’s move things along.

 

Connor: 13. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds? 

Jim: This is just mean. 

Blair: I agree. I would shoot them. 

Simon: Keep your voice down. We don’t want anyone saying you planned it. 

Laughter breaks out. 

Sully: It is mean. 

Joel: I agree. 

Rafe: Me too. 

Simon: The first one that starts the fucking counting game is leaving. 

Brown: And this is like a threat? 

Simon: You wait till you’re 100% boy. You’re ass is going to get kicked all over that bullpen. 

Rafe: Sir, you’re not kicking him. 

Simon: I’m not. Jim is. 

Jim: (Howling.) Oh yeah, that’s so me. 

Dan: He comes down and beats up on me all the time.

Sam: Jim Ellison, you are one of the sweetest souls I know. You’re so damn tough, but yet you couldn’t hurt one of us if your life depended on it. 

Jim: I don’t like hurting people I love. 

Simon: Oh Brown, here is more of the song for you. 

There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man  
And bring him to the ground  
You can beat him  
You can cheat him  
You can treat him bad and leave him  
When he's down, yeah  
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you  
I'm standing on my own two feet  
Out of the doorway the bullets rip  
Repeating to the sound of the beat  
Oh yeah  
Another one bites the dust. 

 

Connor: 12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand. 

Jim: This is low. 

Blair: I agree, but still funny. 

Joel: It is kind of funny. 

Dan: I don’t think it’s too funny. 

Sam: It made me smile. 

Simon: I don’t like it. 

Sully: How do you know? You’ve never tried someone else’s picture on our nightstand. Try it. You might like it. 

Simon: Very funny, Sully. 

Sam: That is funny, sis. 

Dan: I wouldn’t be happy hearing something like this. 

Sam: Me calling her sis?

Dan: No, smart-ass. You know what I mean. 

Sam: It’s official. No sex. (Glaring at Dan.)

Dan: I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to call you that. I was talking to Jim earlier and he calls everyone that. 

Jim: Gee thanks, Dan. 

Dan: I was in a bind. It was either that, or I was sleeping with you and Blair. 

Simon: Okay, is it time?

 

Connor: 11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops? 

Jim: I would kick their ass for this. 

Blair: So would I. 

Sully: So would I. 

Sam: So would I. 

Connor: I would kick their ass and have it filmed. 

Joel: I’d be pissed. 

Dan: It is very mean. 

Rafe: I’m with Connor on this. Kick their butt and film it. 

Brown: I think it’s kind of funny. 

Rafe: Do you have a fever again, babe?

Brown: No, it’s just funny. 

Simon: Well I see it’s time to move on again. 

On the road again.   
I just can’t wait to get on the road again. 

(Everyone threw popcorn at their Captain.)

 

Connor: 10. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 

Jim: Can we say get out of the car now? 

Blair: Can we say blow into this tube? 

Joel: Can we say turn around and spread your legs?

Rafe: Can we say you have the right to remain silent?

Brown: Can we say cuff em Dano?

Simon: Can we say you have the right to an attorney? 

Connor: Can we say you’re making me angry? You won’t like me when I’m angry.

Dan: I can’t wait to see the Hulk movie. Good one, Megan. 

Sully: Can we say go ahead, make my day?

Sam: Can we say do you feel lucky punk, well do ya?

By this time everyone was laughing their butts off. 

Brown: Connor, thank you. This is just what I needed tonight. 

 

Connor: 9. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 

Jim: Hell I said that once. 

Blair: He did. 

Simon: You’re not joking?

Jim: No. 

Dan: God, you’re a riot. 

Simon: Which one?

Dan: All of you. 

Brown: I would never say this. 

Rafe: Neither would I. 

Connor: I said it once. 

Joel: I’m telling ya, it’s like she and Jim are related. 

Jim made the hissing noise again making everyone laugh and then he blew a kiss to her. 

Sully: I’ve never said this. 

Sam: Neither have I. 

Simon: Oh look. Time to move to the next one. 

 

Connor: 8. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 

Jim: It would depend on which guy they were talking about. 

Blair: (Laughing) Which one do you want to be, big boy? 

Jim: I also liked the look of the construction worker.

Blair: I like the look of him too. 

Jim: (Glares at Blair.)

Simon: I like the one that’s a cop. 

Sully: How perfect for you.

Dan: I want to be the Native American one. 

Rafe: Good call, Dan. 

Connor: Would you be pissed off if someone said this when you pulled them over?

Joel: Yes, I’d be pissed. 

Jim: I would also. 

Blair: I tend to agree. 

Simon: All right you smart asses. Knock it off. 

Blair: What? You want us to be dumb asses instead? 

Simon: Connor move this one along.

 

Connor: 7. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job! 

 

Jim: Stupid. 

Blair: Dumb. 

Joel: This is just ridiculous. 

Connor: You would either be insane or very foolish to say this. 

Simon: Brainless comes to my mind. 

Sully: Honey don’t be so hard on yourself. 

Laughter breaks out. 

Simon: They know I mean, I think the person would be brainless. 

Dan: I think they would be pretty dense. 

Sam: Their light bulb would be a very low wattage. 

Rafe: (Laughing) Their bulb would be very dim. 

Brown: Their bulb wouldn’t even be turned on. 

Everyone began to laugh so hard at Brown’s that they couldn’t get their breath. 

Simon: Connor, we get to move on.

 

Connor: 6. Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated? 

Jim: Idiot alert. 

Blair: Let’s just say Sam would have no trouble getting this guy off. 

Sam: Hey, I wouldn’t have taken the case. He’s too dumb. 

Dan: Agreed. 

Simon: This one is dumb, Connor. 

Connor: Fine, we’ll move to the next one. 

 

Connor: 5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 

 

Blair: Geeze, here we go again. I’m in great shape. 

Jim: Baby, I love your shape. 

Simon: Don’t start. 

Sully: What shape is it? 

Jim: It’s…

Simon: Shut up, Jim. 

Dan: I’m in pretty good shape. I can keep up with the folks I work with. 

Everyone begins to howl. 

Dan: I meant the live ones. 

Jim: Oh sorry Dan. 

Sam: You’re all so friggin funny. 

Rafe: I’m in great shape and so is Henri. 

Henri: (rolls his eyes.) Sometimes I think you’re blind, but I won’t complain. I love you. 

Rafe: I love you, H. (Leans in for a very nice kiss.)

Simon: Are we done yet? 

 

Connor: 4. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 

Blair: So they think we’re stupid? 

Jim: Well we do work for the salaries that we work for. 

Simon: We’re not dumb. 

Sully: Oh honey no one said you were. 

Dan: I think this one is dumb.

Sam: I agree. 

Rafe: I do too. 

Brown: I do three. 

Simon: I’m not going to yell at you, cuz you’re sick. 

 

Connor: 3. Bad cop! No donut! 

Jim: I hate that. They think just because we’re cops we eat donuts. Not true. 

Blair: Wrong. It is true. You eat them every morning. 

Jim: But not while I’m in pursuit of a suspect. 

Blair: What was that you handed to me yesterday? 

Jim: Shut up. 

Blair: I don’t have to. 

Dan: You handed him your coffee and donut didn’t you?

Jim: Well I couldn’t very well arrest this guy holding it. 

Blair: But I could?

Jim: NO, I figured you’d throw it away beings they’re so bad for me. 

Blair: Nice try Ellison. 

Simon: (Laughing) I can’t believe you actually did this, Jim. 

Sully: I love it. 

Dan: It’s one of those stories we need to write down to tell the kids later on in life. 

Jim: Fuck you, Dan. 

Rafe: Ellison, I can’t believe you look so good eating that trash. 

Brown: What are you looking at him for?

Rafe: Babe, I look at everyone. I enjoy looking at male and female forms. Doesn’t mean I want them. 

Simon: Okay, can we move on now? 

 

Connor: 2. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 

 

Jim: My year would be complete if someone said that. 

Blair: Mine too. 

Brown: Mine three. 

Rafe: Mine four. 

Joel: Mine five.

Simon: Hell, mine six. 

Dan: Mine seven. Not that a medical examiner is going to be stopping a lot of cars. But just in case, this would be perfect. It would be like Karma if there were a dead body in there. 

Blair falls out of his chair laughing his ass off. Everyone else seems to remain in their seats while they try and compose themselves. That damn Dan was funnier than hell. 

Simon: The wives don’t want to answer. It’s too dumb. Can we move on?

 

Connor: 1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches? 

Blair: (Falls out of chair laughing) Too funny. Like anyone would be this dumb. And by the way, I’m tired of falling on the floor. Could we get seat belts put on our chairs? 

Simon: God, you’re weird. 

Blair: Jim, did you hear him. Now he’s putting pressure on me by calling me god. 

Jim: Knock it off both of you.

Conner: Blair had asked, do you think anyone could be this dumb? 

Jim: We can only hope not. 

Joel: I agree. 

Simon: I don’t believe that anyone ever would say this. 

Rafe: I can see a man stepping out of the car and Henri saying to me, this is the face of the stupidest man on the earth. Let’s kill him. 

Brown: (Laughing.) You’re so bad. 

Sully: This is dumb. 

Sam: It is. 

Connor: I agree. 

Simon: Then move it. 

TOP 10 THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A DAD SAY 

Connor: 10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

Jim: (Falls out of his chair.) Okay, why would this have to be a dad?

Blair: Because you don’t ask for directions. 

Jim: But you do and you’re a dad. 

Blair: There is that. 

Rafe: I think it’s funny. I never ask. I’d rather drive to another state. 

Brown: He’s not joking either. 

Joel: I don’t ask for them either. Meggie gets pissed off. 

Sully: Well Simon asks, don’t you honey? 

Simon: Only when you’re along and you make me. 

Sully: Guess whose cut off for a week?

Simon: I was kidding, babe.

Dan: I don’t ask for directions either. 

Sam: He doesn’t, but neither do I. We always hope that someone with us knows the way. 

Jim: Well what if Tristan is the only other person in the car?

Sam: He’s starting to talk a little now. So hopefully he can guide us soon. 

Blair: (Falls out of chair.) Sam, I love you. I need a seat belt. 

Connor: Sandy, you don’t love all of us?

Blair: Of course I do. I adore every single one of you. I’m having a good time tonight. 

Connor: Did you hear that Simon? 

Simon: He’s probably drunk or something. Are we moving yet? 

Blair: I’m drinking Dr. Pepper, because I’m so misunderstood. 

Jim: (Leaning in for a kiss.) I understand you baby. 

Simon: Connor, this could have been avoided.

Sully: What is with you and PDA’s?

Simon: I know everyone fucks, sucks and kisses. I just don’t want to see it. 

Sam: So you don’t mind hearing about it, right?

Simon: No. I don’t want to hear about it either. God, you’re all sex crazed. 

Sully: Babe, you make it sound like this is a bad thing. I for one love that gorgeous cock sliding into me every chance I can get it.

Simon: (Stands up and grabs Sully) We’ll be back. 

Jim: It pays to own the bar and restaurant. Now he gets to fuck her while the rest of us only get to talk about fucking. 

Blair: Better yet, let’s go outside that door to her office and listen in. 

Jim: No. 

Joel: Come on Sandburg, I’ll go with you. 

Jim: Both of you knock it off.

Connor: They’re so immature sometimes aren’t they Jim? 

Jim: Yes. 

Connor: Want to go get a drink with me Jim and you can have a little listen as we walk by? 

Jim: Sounds good to me. 

Everyone roars with laughter. 

Sully and Simon walked back in looking very happy and sat down.

Jim: Better?

Simon: Shut up. Connor could we move this on?

Connor: What? We get no details?

Simon: No. 

Everyone: Damn. 

Sully: (Laughing.) I’ll tell you all later. 

Simon: Sully, I’m going to tape your mouth. 

Sully: I like the sounds of that. Tie me up too? 

Simon: Connor please I beg of you. Could we move this along? 

 

Connor: 9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for un-chaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

 

Jim: Jade isn’t going on a date until she’s done with high school. 

Blair: (Laughing) OH like that’s going to happen big man. And what about Drake and Rayne?

Jim: Well Drake’s a boy, that’s different.

Blair: No it’s not. 

Brown: Oh good a fight. 

Simon: We’re not fighting. 

Blair: We’re not fighting either. 

Jim: I would never call Drake Pumpkin when he’s 13. 

Everyone burst out laughing. 

Jim: What?

Simon: Simone is not going on a date until she is 16. 

Sully: I agree. 

Sam: Well Tristan can date when he’s ready. I think that will be when he’s about 20. 

Dan: (Laughing) I know what you mean, babe. 

Joel: I never want Miss Ellie to date. Ever. 

Connor: He’s serious. He’s worrying about it already. 

Jim: With good reason, she’s a beautiful little girl. She’ll grow into a gorgeous young lady and boys will be after her all the time. (Jim leans down and starts to hit his head on the table.)

Sully: Is that cute? He’s having anxiety over Ellie too. 

Joel: Well at least I won’t be alone in it. 

Brown: We’ve already told Lancy that she can’t date until she’s 18.

Rafe: I told Henri I thought 20. But he gave her those two years. 

Everyone burst out laughing again. 

Simon: We can move on. Hot damn. 

 

Connor: 8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

Jim: Oh yeah, this is so going to happen. 

Blair: (Laughing) Babe you sounded just like me. 

Jim: Do I smell just like you?

Simon: Knock it off. I don’t want to go to my wife’s office again. 

Sully: And why not? 

Simon: We’re here to have fun. So let’s get started. 

Sully: Are you saying that fucking me isn’t fun for you? 

Simon: I would never say that. 

Sully: Better not. 

Connor: Back to the survey. Would you love your kid’s friends with hostile attitudes? 

Brown: Never. I was taught to respect elders. So I’ll make them be nice to Brian. 

Rafe: I’m going to beat you once you’re well. 

Dan: I agree with Henri. 

Brown: You think that they should show respect to Brian too? 

Dan: Yes. 

Rafe: Fuck you, Dan. 

Sam: Oh this is getting good. Do I sense a man that hates the idea of being the older one?

Brown: He does hate it, so I tease him. 

Rafe: I don’t hate it. 

Simon: Who cares? I would smack someone upside the head if they talked to me in a disrespectful way. 

Sully: I’m afraid he would too. 

Joel: I know he would. But I can see his point. Kids need to be kinder to us old folks. 

Simon: Fuck you, Joel. 

Joel: Can he honey? 

Connor: (Laughing) No, not tonight. I have plans. 

Simon: You’re all sex-starved maniacs. 

Jim: Hey I’ve got an idea. Let’s take turns saying hostile things and see how Simon does. 

Simon: I’ve got a better idea. Shut the fuck up and move this damn thing along. 

 

Connor: 7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!

Joel: Oh yeah, this is going to happen. (Laughing very hard.)

Jim: You wouldn’t do this for Miss Ellie? 

Joel: Nope and neither would you. 

Blair: I think it’s a riot. 

Brown: Me too. 

Rafe: Me three. 

Simon: Stop it right now. 

Sully: Four me. 

Simon: What? 

Sully: Nothing. 

Dan: Five me. 

Sam: Six me. Oh this almost sounds like sex me. (Laughing)

Simon: Now would be a good time to start the next one. 

 

Conner: 6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating's not good enough for you, son?

Blair: (Falls out of his chair again) Damn it. I need seat belts. 

Jim: There’s nothing wrong with skating. Why is this funny to you?

Blair: It’s every dad’s dream to have his kid play football.

Jim: Well I just want Drake to be happy. 

Blair: While he skates? (Laughing his ass off.)

Everyone else laughs too. 

Dan: I agree with Jim. I want Tristan to be happy no matter what. 

Sam: So if he wanted to skate, that would be fine? 

Dan: Yes. 

Brown: I wouldn’t care either. 

Rafe: I want Lancy to be on the football team. 

Brown: You would, you bruiser. 

Joel: I think Miss Ellie would make a wonderful punter or goal kicker. 

Sully: So would Simone. I would love to see them play some day. 

Simon: Are you all insane? We’re so off the subject it’s not even funny. 

Blair: We’re on it. 

Jim: Yeah, what he said. 

Simon: Just move it along Connor. 

 

Connor: 5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

 

Blair: (Laughing again) I can hear Jim saying this now. 

Jim: You betcha. 

Joel: God, these are funny, honey. 

Dan: They are funny. 

Sam: I love this evening. 

Connor: I’m glad you enjoy it, Sam. 

Jim: I enjoy these evenings too, Connor. 

Joel: Meggie, I do have more fun here. 

Blair: I fall on the floor a lot. You’re going to have to take care of me when my hips go out. 

Simon: Sully, are you tired honey? 

Sully: I’m fine. 

Sam: I think he wanted something else. 

Rafe: So go for it, big man. 

Simon: Could we move this on, Connor? 

 

Connor: 4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks. 

 

Jim: This would never come out of my mouth. 

Blair: Nah, say it ain’t so.

Rafe: I do all of the repair work on our cars, so I would never send Lancy to a mechanic that I didn’t know. 

Brown: You and Jim are so fucking serious. 

Rafe pulled Henri into his arms and held on for dear life. “Bri, what’s wrong?”

“I am serious, because I almost lost you. I don’t ever want to lose you again. I don’t want to lose our little girl either.” Rafe hugged the man even harder. 

“It’s all right, babe. We’ll talk when we get home.” Brown rubbed his back until Rafe finally pulled away from him. 

Simon: It’ll get better Rafe. 

Sully: Yes it will. We’re so glad to have you here with us, Henri. 

Brown: Thank you, Sully. 

Joel: I do all of the repair work on our cars. 

Connor: Excuse me? 

Joel: Megan helps me now. She’s been taking courses at the college. 

Jim: Good thinking, Connor. 

Blair: I guess I should take one. I know the basics but nothing past that. 

Brown: I’ll go with you.

Blair: I’ll check into it tomorrow. 

Simon: Look here, it’s time to move on. 

 

Connor: 3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your bellyaching, and let's go to the mall.

Jim: I would take Drake to the mall for an earring. 

Blair: So would I. So this doesn’t work for us. 

Joel: I’m not wild about earrings, so I would never say this. 

Rafe: I have one, so I can’t say much. Lancy has two sets. 

Brown: I have one also. 

Dan: I would take Tristan down and have it done. 

Sam: You would?

Dan: Why not?

Sam: I’m just surprised because you don’t have any. 

Dan: Maybe we’ll get one together. 

Everyone laughs. 

Simon: I would take my kids. I did take Daryl. 

Sully: That’s good to know, honey. 

Simon: My god, we can move on. 

 

Connor: 2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

Blair: Jim would never say this one. 

Jim: And you would?

Blair: Well I’m not big on kids working. 

Jim: It’s good for character. 

Joel: I agree with Jim. 

Blair: You old guys always stick together. Simon, agree with them now. 

Simon: I don’t agree. I helped put Daryl in college so he wouldn’t have to pay everything. Then of course a certain person came along with money and paid off everything. The kids set for life now. 

Jim: Yeah. I paid for him to not work. So there, Sandburg. 

Blair: I’m never going to hear the end of this one. Thanks Simon. 

Dan: I think that kids need help if they’re in college, but once they’re out, they’re on their own. 

Sam: We agree on this one. 

Sully: I agree with you also. 

Simon: Wow, we’re almost done. Woo Hoo. 

Jim: Oh before I forget I need to tell you all something.

Simon: (Looking nervous.) What? What’s wrong? 

Jim: Nothing’s wrong. Blair and I went to the bank last week and opened up accounts for all of your children. They are college funds accounts, but it’s up to you on what you want to use them for. They can’t touch the money before age 18, unless they start college before then. 

Sully: My god, I don’t know what to say. Jim and Blair thank you very much. 

Joel: This is just wonderful. Thank you. 

Connor: (Trying not to cry.) Its one of the nicest things you’ve ever done. 

Rafe: I can’t believe it. 

Brown: Thank you guys. 

Dan: We’ll talk later, but thank you. 

Sam: Thank you is right. 

Jim: I put $75,000.00, in each account. By the time they get to college, it’s going to be a lot more.

Everyone: Holy shit. 

Blair: Are you going to tell them the other news? 

Jim: You don’t have to or anything. When I get done you can tell me no. 

Simon: So tell us. 

Jim: Three huge, beautiful homes went up for sale in our neighborhood. So I bought them for Dan and Sam, Joel and Connor and Simon and Sully. But you don’t have to keep them. You can do whatever you want with them. I also paid off Brown and Rafe’s mortgage, so everyone is set. 

Everyone: Holy shit. 

Blair: Jim picked the houses for each couple, so here are the keys and the address. 

Everybody got up and did a lot of hugging and kissing. They were all in shock. After about an hour of talking of the moves to come, Simon finally said, “Is the survey over?”

Connor: No. Does everyone want to start again?

Simon: Get it rolling. 

 

Connor: 1. What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don't mean it)

Jim: I might say this. 

Blair: Might?

Jim: Fine. I spoil all of them rotten. Excuse me for living. 

Rafe jumped up and took off for the restroom. “Shit, I was hoping to make it one night without going in there.” Jim got up and knew he would find an upset man. 

He opened the door and Rafe was in the stall. “Get your butt out here right now.” Jim yelled. 

Rafe opened the stall door and walked out. He never looked at Jim once. 

“I’m sorry that I said that about excuse me for living. I know you were so scared about Henri not living. Forgive me?” Jim asked. 

“Yeah. I’m just a little moody sometimes. I’ll try and lighten up.”

The two men walked out to their room and sat back down. 

Simon: Everything all right?

Rafe: Everything is dandy. 

Brown leaned in and gave him a kiss. 

Connor: Back to the survey. Would you tell your child, Aahh, don’t worry about it. It’s not a big thing. 

Simon: I used to do it with Daryl and I’ll no doubt do it with Simone. We hope to have another baby so Simone won’t be an only child.

Sam: Really? God, Sully you didn’t even tell me. 

Sully: I didn’t know we were telling anyone. 

Simon: She’s pregnant. 

Everyone: Congratulations. 

Jim: This new big house will come in handy then. It’s got four or five bedrooms. 

Sully: I can’t wait to see it Jim. And it would be nice to live close to all of you. 

Dan: Sully, are you happy about another baby?

Sully: Not really. It’s so soon after Simone. I wanted another, but just not this quickly. 

Simon: Are you all right with having it? 

Sully: Are you asking me if I would get rid of our baby? God, I can’t believe you asked that. Simone is the most precious and this one will be too. I love you Simon. Just give me some time to get used to being a new mom again. 

Simon: I love you baby. (Began to kiss her.)

Everyone threw popcorn at them. 

Connor: I think we’ve had enough for one night. Besides, I want to go and see my new house.

Joel: So do I. 

Brown: Why don’t we all go and that way we can see everyone’s home. 

Dan: Sounds good to me. I have a bit of news. 

Sam: Not now, Danny. 

Dan: Sorry. 

Jim: What? Tell us. 

Sam: Go ahead. 

Dan: Sam is pregnant too. Our little Tristan is going to be a big brother. 

Everyone: Congratulations. 

Jim: Do you and Sully plan these things to come out at the same time? 

Sully: Shut up. 

Simon: (Laughing) Well Dan we’ll help each other through another pregnancy. 

Sully and Sam: (Glare at both men.)

Connor: Come on everyone. Let’s get shaking. Meet you over there. 

Everybody got ready to go and left the Pub. In the SUV, Blair said, “God, these families are growing like wild fire.”

“It never hurts to have too much family.” Jim smiled as he drove. 

“Jim, I love you so much. And I want you to know how great I think it is that you love all of these kids.”

“You do too.”

“Not as much as you do, baby. You’re just perfect at being with children.” Blair kissed him at the light. 

“I hope they like the houses.” Jim was getting nervous. 

“Jim, they’re going to love the houses. Oh look. See those people lined up out in front of the house jumping up and down? Those are the happy people. They love the houses.” Blair loved teasing his man. 

The got out of the SUV and were attacked by everyone. Not just Jim was hugged and thanked, but Blair too. This pleased Blair a great deal. 

“So you liked them?” Jim asked nervously. 

“We loved them. We’re moving this weekend. And the money we get from our houses we’re going to buy new furniture. Whatever is left will go to the charity of your choice.” Simon informed Jim. 

“That’s really nice. I’m so glad you like them.” Jim was acting almost shy. 

“Sully, isn’t your kitchen to die for?” Blair asked. 

“Oh my yes. I love it. I even thought, ‘Blair and I could make preserves in this huge kitchen’.” Sully was indeed happy. 

“I have to go. Jade is at the window crying because her Daddy is home, but not coming in. See you all tomorrow. Chief, you visit a while.”

Again he was hugged by all of his friends and then he walked into his home to be greeted by a very happy Jade. 

“Who were you talking to our there Daddy?” Jade asked.

“Your big family. Come with me and while I tuck you in bed I’ll tell you all about it.” Jim kissed Linda as he walked into Jade’s room. 

And that’s exactly what it was. Family. And family was meaning more to Jim every year. Now they had more than enough. 

Henri would be better soon and now he had even more family members spoiling him. Life was indeed good for all. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 57  
Let’s Hear It For The Boy!

I love this series and I hope you do too.   
Thanks for still being here and reading them.   
Come again soon.


	58. Nana's Here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana Naomi is here for a visit and learns all about the kids.

Sullivan's Pub Part 58  
Nana’s Here!  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 06/08/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done. (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Thank you to Judy for her wonderful ideas. Because of her, you’re getting some Nana Naomi story and some other family related things. If you like, here is her addy, let her know she had a good idea. J If you hated it, tell her that too. jbrown17@ix.netcom.com

Summary: Nana Naomi is here for a visit and learns all about the kids. 

Warnings: m/m Sweet and angst.   
No beta. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 58  
Nana’s Here!  
Patt

 

While Jim was reading the paper and drinking his coffee, the phone began to ring. He hated that damn phone. It never brought good news. And damn it, if the noise didn’t wake little Rayne up. // Shit. //

He picked the phone up and growled, “Ellison.”

“I see you’re still a grouch.” Naomi teased. 

“Hi Naomi, let me get Blair for you.” Jim tried to get off, but she was too fast. 

“Jim, wait. I need to know if I’m welcome at your house. Can I stay for a week and spend time with my Grand-children?”

“Of course you can. When are you coming?”

“I’m at the airport now. Do you think you could come and get me?”

“Sure, give me about 30 minutes and I’ll be there.” Jim hung up the phone and went to get Rayne up. He cleaned her and got her a bottle made and the two of them went out the door. 

When Jim and the baby walked up the stairs Naomi looked like she was going to cry. “Is this baby Rayne?”

“Yes, she’s the only baby we have.” Jim almost laughed. 

“Can I hold her?”

“Rayney, do you want to go see Gramma?” Jim asked and watched the look of horror on her face. 

“Nana. That’s what I’d like to be called, please.” Naomi said nicely. 

Rayne held her little chubby arms out to Naomi and her Nana was thrilled to hold and hug her. “What a precious baby you are my darling.”

“Come on Naomi. Let’s get your luggage and get home. Blair doesn’t even know you’re coming.” Jim said with a smile. 

“Do you carry pictures of the children in your wallet Jim?”

“Of course I do. Why?”

“Could I see the other two?” Naomi seemed suddenly sad. 

“Sure.” He pulled his wallet out and she started to go through them and Jim told her who was in each picture. He had one of each of the children in there. All of the children. Not just his. 

“Jim, Jade is just beautiful and Drake is most handsome. I can’t wait to spend time with them. Will I be able to keep them home while you and Blair work?”

“Sure, that would be nice for them and us.” Jim hugged her before he picked up her suitcase. 

The drive home was filled with talk of where she had been. Jim knew that Blair would be very pleased to see her. 

He pulled in the driveway and she put her hand on his arm. “Jim, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Sure.”

“I’m not happy about Blair’s new lifestyle. I don’t like him so serious about his relationship with you. I don’t like him having children and I hate him being a cop. But I know that it’s what’s making him happy. So I’m going to be good. But I want you to know that I’m not comfortable with you sleeping with my son.” She finally winded down and Jim stormed out of the SUV. 

He opened up the door by Rayne and took her out. “Would you like me to carry her?”

“No thank you. I’ll carry my own child.” Jim brushed past Naomi and the woman knew she hadn’t handled it right again. 

Blair smiled when he saw him walk in. “Hey hot shot leave a not next time. I was worried.”

“Sorry. You’re mother’s here.” Jim sat down and began to watch television with Rayne. They were watching Sesame Street and loving every minute of it. 

Blair watched him and knew that Jim was pissed. He walked out to the SUV and smiled at his mom. “Naomi, you pissed him off already?”

“I didn’t mean to. I was just telling him how I really felt about things.” She pulled Blair into her arms and hugged for a long time. Jade and Drake walked out and said, “Who is this Poppy?”

“What do you call Jim?” Naomi asked the kids. 

“Daddy.” Drake said. 

“Why does he get the Daddy name and you’re stuck with Poppy?” Naomi was angry. 

“Poppy, you told us you wanted us to call you that.” Drake was worrying himself sick. 

“Drake and Jade, I love my name from you. This is my mother, Naomi. She’s come to visit you.” 

“Hi Gramma.” Jade said hugging Naomi’s legs. 

“Sweetie, it’s Nana. That’s what I want to be called.” Naomi was very stern about that. 

“Oh I like the name, Nana.” Jade said sweetly. 

“So how long are you here? And what do you want to do?” Blair asked. 

“I would like to take Jade shopping for new clothes and then we’d do real women stuff. She can get a cucumber facial, haircut, nails done and ears pierced. I haven’t decided yet what to do with Drake.”

“You don’t do anything with him, Naomi. He’s a child he loves everything. You name it; he’ll go along with it.” Blair was irritated. 

“Well maybe we’ll go see a movie or something Drake.” 

“That’s okay, I’ll hang with my Poppy and my Daddy.” He walked into the house and shut the door. He slid next to Jim on the sofa and Jim whispered, “Was she being mean?”

“She only likes girls. You can tell.” He looked so hurt, that Jim wanted to smack her. 

“Will you hold Rayne for me while I make a call?” Jim asked. 

“Sure Daddy. Come here my baby Rayne.” Drake cooed at her. 

When Jim came back he said, “How would you feel about a baseball game?”

“Seeing one?” 

“Nope, playing. I called everyone and we’re going to go play baseball today.” Jim beamed with pride at the look of joy on Drake’s face. 

Drake flew out the front door and said, “Poppy. Poppy. We’re going to play baseball today. “

“That’s great. Ask Daddy what time and we’ll get ready.” Blair suggested. Drake ran back into the house. 

“I want to play baseball too, Poppy.” Jade had her little lip out. 

“Oh Jade, you and I will have such fun you won’t care about the boy stuff at all.” Naomi said. 

“Well I ain’t gonna like it.” Jade stormed into the house and off into her room. Jim shook his head and called Naomi and Blair in. 

“All right, this is what we’re going to do. We’re all going to play baseball. Naomi if you don’t want to play with us, you can hold Rayne. But we’re playing as a family. So get over it. You can take Jade shopping and whatever else tomorrow.” Jim was laying down the law. 

“I can live with that.” She smiled at Jim’s effort to keep the peace with three kids and a mother-in-law. 

Driving to the ballpark, Drake said, “Nana, did you know that I start pee wee baseball next week?”

“Why no, I sure didn’t. Are you excited?”

“Oh yes. My Poppy said I will have great fun.” Drake was so thrilled. 

“Well your Poppy wouldn’t know. He never played baseball when he was young. We traveled and he learned instead.” Naomi was setting the record straight. 

“Boy, he sure plays good now. You should see him.” Drake was bragging. 

“Blair, you play baseball?”

“Yeah Mom. That’s the whole idea. We do a lot of family things. Jade, tell Nana what we did last weekend.” Blair asked. 

“We had dinner?”

Everyone laughed and waited for her to remember what they did. “Oh yeah. Nana we went to the coolest museum that you could ever go to.”

“Oh, you went to one of those Children’s Museum’s?” she asked. 

“No, it was a big boy museum. It even had two statues of naked boys in it. It was beautiful. They had nice penises. I had a very good time. Daddy and Poppy let me stare at the colors on the paintings for a long, long time.” Jade had such a look of awe on her face Naomi was impressed. 

Drake then was catching on and said, “We went to a play the weekend before that. Poppy likes us to see plays.”

“What did you see?” Nana asked. 

“Phantom of The Opera.” Drake said proudly. 

“Blair, don’t you think that’s a little old for children?”

“Mom, it was a children’s play. Don’t worry about it. We wouldn’t let them see something that they shouldn’t.” Blair just smiled over at his love, who was not a happy camper. 

“I see that the children will be well rounded. So chances are they won’t become pigs.” Naomi said casually. 

Drake and Jade started laughing. “Nana, that’s so funny. We can’t become an animal.” Drake pointed out. 

Jim and Blair started laughing too. “Nana, quit telling our children what they can or can’t do.” Blair said firmly. 

“So Jade, we’re going to spend the day tomorrow. Isn’t that nice?”

“Oh yes. We’ll have fun. Nana do you have a penis?” Jade asked.

Blair choked on his water in the front seat and Jim started laughing. 

“Darling, I’m a woman. I don’t have a penis.” Nana said. 

“Dang it. I was hoping that some big lady would be able to tell me how to get one.” Jade was pouting. 

“Jim, why does your child want a penis?” Naomi wondered. 

“She came to us that way. It was too late to give her back.” Then he burst out laughing. He suddenly realized that Jade would give Naomi a run for her money. 

Arriving at the field, Sully already had the huge blanket put down under the trees for the cribs. Jim grabbed Rayne’s play yard and set it up before going back to get her. “Blair, I’ll be back to get the other stuff.” Jim carried Rayne off as Blair called out, “I’m capable of carrying things myself big boy.” 

When Jim came back he carried some lawn chairs and food. Blair carried all of the equipment for playing ball. Naomi went to where everyone seemed to be and Simon hugged her. “Good to see you Naomi, this is my wife Sully and our daughter, Simone.”

“It’s good to meet you, Sully. Simon she is just beautiful.” Naomi gushed over the little one. 

Sully said, “And this is my sister Sam and her husband Dan Wolfe.”

“Good to meet you, Sam. I’ve met Dan before. It’s nice to see you again.” Naomi couldn’t believe how many friends they had.

Rafe and Brown ran up and Rafe said, “Naomi, it’s great to see you.” Both men hugged her and then Henri said, “Oh, this is our daughter, Lancy.”

“Hello Lancy. What a lovely little girl you are.” 

“Are you Drake’s Nana?” she asked.

“Yes, I sure am.” Naomi wondered what was up. 

“I want you to be my Nana too.” Lancy stomped her foot to let everyone know she meant business. 

“How about we do something next week? You, me and Jade?” Naomi wanted her to be happy too. 

“Daddy, did you hear that? I get to go with her next week.” Lancy was jumping around. 

“Thank you, Naomi. That would be very nice of you.” Brown smiled shyly. 

“Jam. Jam. Jam.” Jim dropped the bats and went running for Miss Ellie. He picked her up and let her pretend she was flying. 

“And this is?” Naomi asked Blair. 

“This is Miss Ellie and she belongs to Megan Connor and Joel Taggert.” Blair smiled at Jim with Miss Ellie. 

“Blair, he has his own children to play with. Why is he doing that?”

“Because he has a special bond with her and it’s none of your business Mom.” Blair was irritated. 

Jim put Ellie down on the blanket next to Simone and waited for Joel and Connor to catch up. Jim was very excited to get this game going.

“Naomi, it’s great to see you.” Connor hugged her quickly. 

“Nice to see you too. And your baby is pretty as can be. What is her name again?”

“Ellison Jolena Taggert.” Megan said proudly. 

“Why in the world would you name her after Jim Ellison? Oh, I understand.” Naomi had an odd look on her face. 

“NO, you don’t understand.” Joel was pissed, “he saved our baby’s life and we chose this way to thank him.”

“Well I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” Naomi sat down and decided she would try to not talk for a while. 

Now if anyone could just be that lucky. 

“Whose ready for a game?” Jim called out. 

“I’ll stay with the kids and you all go.” Sully said. 

They all took off running for the field. Sully turned to Naomi and said, “You noticed I didn’t have to bend their arms or anything.”

Naomi laughed and added, “I could see they were torn.”

The two women talked, watched the children and watched the other children play baseball. 

“Sully, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What does Blair see in Jim?”

“Well watch them for the next week or two and you won’t wonder any longer. Watch today and see what they do for each other.” Sully smiled as she looked at the oddball team. 

Naomi looked out and saw Blair hit the ball and it was a home run. She stood and watched and when he got to home base, Jim bumped chests with him. Then he leaned down and kissed him lightly and blushed. 

“Yup, that’s what I was talking about. They’re crazy about each other.” Sully couldn’t help but watch them too. 

Once the game was over Jim loaded up everything in the SUV and then sat in the back seat with the kids. “Daddy, why are you sitting with me and Rayne?” Jade asked. 

“So that Poppy can visit with his Momma. And Drake has to stay up there because there isn’t enough room back here.” Jim kissed her little cheek. 

“Thank you, Jim.” Naomi said as she buckled up. Jim fell asleep along with the girls and Drake was sleeping leaning against Naomi. “Blair, he’s a lot like you. He’s very sweet. And he loves you so much.”

“Yes he is sweet. And we all love each other a lot. We’re a good family, Naomi.” Blair explained. 

Blair pulled into the driveway and softly said, “Big man, I need some help here.”

“Gotcha Chief.” Jim opened up the door, crawled over Rayne and then took her out of her seat. Once she was in her crib, he came back for Jade. Then he tucked her in and started unpacking the SUV. 

“Is that everything, Jim?” Blair called out from the doorway. 

“Yeah. How about an Ice Cream Sundae?” Jim smiled hoping that would get him a treat. 

“You’re treat?” Blair giggled as Jim kissed his neck. Both men forgot that Naomi was there for a moment. 

“Baby, you’re always my treat. Forget the ice cream. Let’s go to bed.” Jim started for the bedroom and saw Naomi. “Sorry, Naomi. We forgot you were here.”

“Mom, come on. I’ll show you the guest room.”

“What a lovely room.” Naomi stood and looked around. 

“It used to be Miss Ellie’s room, but she’s out of her crib now, so we made it into just a spare room.” Blair pulled the covers down and got his mother set up. 

“You had a room for Ellie?” Naomi was shocked. 

“Mom, I know you don’t understand, but we almost lost her and Jim saved her life. There’s a bond there. He’s very fond of her. Not as fond as he is his own kids. But still fond.” Blair was suddenly very tired. 

Jim poked his head in and said, “Night Naomi.”

“Goodnight, Jim. Sleep well.” She smiled and looked like she really meant it. For the first time that day, Blair relaxed. 

“Night Mom.” Blair leaned in and kissed her on the cheek and walked out. When he walked into his room he became instantly hard. Jim was lying there in the moonlight naked, and hard. // Oh what this man does to me. //

Blair rushed into the bathroom and got cleaned up and brushed his teeth. He slipped into their bed, already naked. The two men began to kiss longingly until Jim finally asked, “Will you fuck me baby?”

“You know it.” Blair got the lube and began to loosen Jim up. Jim was really into it, when he realized that Naomi was watching them through the crack in the doorway. Blair hadn’t shut the door all the way. Jim didn’t know what to do. Blair was so into this and Jim didn’t want to stop either. 

“Who do you belong to baby?” Blair asked huskily. 

“To you. Only you. Never anyone but you, Chief.”

Blair slid into Jim’s tight channel and both men were moaning and panting. Blair pulled Jim’s legs up and put them over his shoulders. He then situated himself perfectly right, to hit his prostate each and every time. 

“Chief, drill me baby. Drill me hard. Oh god, Chief. Oh god. Oh god.” Jim was begging, pleading and yelling. 

“Does anyone else make you feel this good baby?”

“No one but you, Chief. No one but you.” Jim was thrashing his head back and forth on the pillow by this time. 

“Do you want to come, baby?” Blair was getting close now too. 

“Oh please. Please.”

“Come for me Jim.” Blair started to pound Jim’s ass like he’d never pounded it before. Jim came screaming Blair’s name and Blair followed after two more thrusts. 

“I love you so much Chief.” Jim kissed him. 

“I love you Jim. No one makes me feel the way you do. I adore you.” Blair said sweetly. 

Jim heard Naomi outside the door sniffing, so it must not have upset her too much. He couldn’t believe that she watched. Maybe she just listened. God, he couldn’t believe what a slut he was in front of her. Sighing, he got out of bed and went to get the wipes. 

“Get back here. What’s wrong?” Blair asked pulling him back down. 

“I just love you so much. That’s all.”

“And that’s making you sad?” Blair knew he was lying. 

“I’m not sad. Just hold me.” And Blair did. He held his big strong partner in his arms until they both fell asleep. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

When Jim woke up, he could smell bacon, eggs and waffles. // Hot damn, I get a real breakfast. // He jumped in the shower first thing and wasn’t in there five minutes when Jade joined him. 

“Hi Daddy. I’m dirty from baseball.” Jim proceeded to clean her up fast as he could. 

“Daddy?” Drake inquired. 

“Yes.”

“Can I go next?” Drake was standing there naked with a little boner that would have been a riot if his sister wasn’t standing there. 

“Drake, put a towel on until Jade leaves.”

“Why?” He honestly wanted to know. 

“I’ll tell you when she leaves.” Jim said hoping that he would cover it up. 

“Daddy, I’ve seen his penis a lot. He has the fairy come to him too. But I think it might be a baby fairy. What do you think?” Jade was very serious. 

Jim was trying not to laugh. “Hey, it ain’t a baby fairy. It’s a big fairy. I’m just little. Right, Daddy?”

“Oh boy, looks like its time for Jadey to get out. Blair came in and grabbed her to take her to get dressed. 

“Now young man. You and I are going to have a talk about your penis.” Jim began. 

“So do you think it’s gotten any bigger lately?” Drake asked hopefully. 

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Dang it. I was hoping to be as big as you.” Drake was staring right at Jim’s penis now. 

“Now listen to me, Drake. When the penis fairy comes to you, it’s a private thing. You can’t let your sister see it, or the fairy will stop coming to you.” Jim waited to see what he would say. 

“Oh no. That would be bad. I’ll stop being naked around Jade, Daddy. K?” Drake was desperate now. 

“Deal. Thank you, Drake.”

Jim and Drake got the rest of their showers down in a speedy fashion. Blair walked into the bathroom and whispered, “Can you fuck me?”

“I probably could. What are you going to offer me in return?” Jim teased as he began to lick and kiss his lover’s face and neck. 

“Breakfast. The kind you like.” Blair smiled. 

“You’re on. Jim took him into the bedroom and made sweet love to him. Jim tried to do it quietly because they could hear everyone in the kitchen. When Blair got ready to come, he put his mouth over Blair’s. So Blair’s screams went into Jim’s mouth vibrating his mouth, teeth, tongue and throat. The vibrations from that alone, made him come. // What this man does to me. //

After a great breakfast, while Blair was in the shower, Jim got up and cleaned the entire kitchen. Naomi watched that with interest. She walked over to him and said, “So are you the woman in this relationship?”

Jim’s mouth fell open and when Blair came walking through he saw his lover’s mouth hanging open and blushing. This wasn’t a good thing. “All right, Naomi, what did you say to Jim?”

“I asked if he was the woman in this relationship?” She said it again. 

“Mom, that’s none of your business. Geeze, some things are private.” Blair was trying to get Jim to look at him. 

“Well Jade, Lancy and I are going to spend the day at the mall. We’ll see you later.” Naomi grabbed Jim’s SUV keys and took off with Jade. 

His mouth was still hanging open. “Close it Jim or you’ll catch flies.” Blair said as he walked by. 

“Fuck you.” Jim stormed into the bedroom. 

“Daddy must be really mad. What did you do Poppy?” Drake was pacing like his Poppy. 

“Who knows with him? We’ll let him get over it and come out.”

Jim stormed back out and walked out the front door. He didn’t say a word. 

“Oh Poppy. He looked really mad. Please go get him. Don’t let him run away.” Drake started to cry. Jim came through the door at that moment and said, “Drakey, I was just going for a little walk. Do you want to go with me?”

“Yay. He’s not moving Poppy.” Drake was so happy. 

“You told him I was moving?” Jim asked in total shock. 

Blair smacked Jim on the back of the head and said, “What do you think, Jim?”

“No, you wouldn’t tell him that.” Jim leaned down to kiss Blair. 

“Is this about the woman thing?”

“Blair, do you think I am?” Jim was very serious. 

“I think we both are. And I’m okay with that. No complaints heard from me.” Blair stood taller so he could reach Jim more easily. “I love kissing you.”

“Let’s go do something with the fam.” Jim teased. 

“I’ll call and see if maybe another baseball game?” Blair asked. 

“Football. I want football.” Drake was jumping up and down. 

Blair got on the phone and got Brown, Rafe, Simon, Joel and Dan to play. All of the women brought the kids and everyone was in the back yard. Jim figured they could get take out for lunch and dinner. This was going to be fun. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

“Nana, are we almost done?” Jade asked. 

“No honey, we just started. Now we need to choose some new clothes. Do you like any of these things, sweetie?” Naomi held up several outfits and smiled. 

“Oh I love that blue one, Jade.” Lancy said. 

“Well I don’t. I hate it. I don’t have to shop if I don’t want to. I want my Daddy.” She started crying pretty hard forcing Naomi to call the house. 

“Ellison.”

“Jim, I’m really sorry but Jade is very upset and I can’t calm her down.” 

Jim could hear her in the background and knew it was her brat scream. “Naomi put her on the phone please.”

“Daddy will you come get me? I don’t want to shop.” Jade begged. 

“I’m busy Jade. If I come down there to pick you up, you’re getting a spanking. Take your pick. Shop or get a spanking.” Jim was unyielding. 

Jade handed the phone to Naomi and said, “I want to stay with you. My Daddy’s mean.”

Naomi whispered into the phone. “Thank you, Jim.”

“Have fun.” And he hung up the phone. // Now back out to slaughter the other team. //

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Jade and Lancy both got four outfits and two pairs of shoes, before the day was over.

When they got to the shoes, they each got two pair. “Wow, Nana, you’re not even my real Nana and you’re still buying me presents. This is cool. Thank you.” Lancy was thrilled. 

They next went and got their hair, nails and a facial done. Jade and Lancy were having the time of their life. Naomi was showing both girls you could play rough and still love the finer things in life. 

Once they put everything in the SUV, then they drove to the mall with the theater. Naomi let them choose a movie to see. 

“We both want to see X-men.” Jade said smiling. 

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll see.” She got the tickets and off they went. “Who wants popcorn?” She called out as they passed the concession area. 

“Oh we do. We love popcorn, don’t we Jade?” Lancy asked. 

“You might, but I want Reeces Pieces.” She showed the woman what she wanted and she held it for her. When Naomi went to pay, she was shocked at how much it cost. It was more than the friggin movie. It had been a long time since she went to a movie. Now she knew why. 

Once the girls settled on a seat, Naomi talked to them until the movie started. They all discussed how gorgeous they looked with their haircuts and their new nails. 

The movie started and the girls loved the previews. They saw The Incredible Hulk ones and were screaming about wanting to see that. Naomi wondered how old she really was. The movie started and they were all very much into it and suddenly Naomi had a lap full of little girls. They were scared to death. 

“Nana, I’m scared.” Jade cried. 

“Me too.” Lancy cried. 

“Let’s go girls.” And off they went. Both of them were very quiet and Naomi said, “Girls, I’m not angry.”

“Promise?” Jade asked. 

“Promise.” Naomi just loved this little girl. “What would you like to do right now?”

“Could we buy presents for everyone? Rayne and Ellie and Baby Simone and Baby Tristan and Drakey?” Jade asked sweetly. 

“What a good idea. Let’s go shopping for more stuff.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

“Where are they Jim?” Blair asked at 7:00 that night. 

“Blair, I’m sure they’re fine. She would have called. They probably lost track of time.” Jim tried to calm his love. 

All of their friends had stayed because they were worried too. Not to mention Rafe and Brown who were wearing the carpet out with their pacing. Jim said, “She’s here.”

They all walked outside and the girls were laughing and talking and carrying in bags of things. 

Jim looked at Blair and said, “Well they seem to be fine.”

“Bullshit. She shouldn’t have done that, Jim.” Blair started to go over but Jim pulled him back. 

“Blair, she’s new at being a Gramma. Cut her some slack. We’ll set up some rules next time. Okay?”

“Daddy, Papa, look what I got.” Lancy jumped into their waiting arms. 

“Gosh you would think you all loved these little girls or something.” Naomi laughed and so did Jade and Lancy. 

“You’ve created a fucking monster.” Blair whispered to Jim. 

Jade yelled out, “Don’t leave everbody. We got prezzies for everyone.”

So everyone went back in the house for presents. Jade was so excited that even Blair found himself feeling a little better. At 10:00 everyone went home and Jim gave the kids a quick bath before bed. 

Blair was kissing Jade and while he was leaning over doing it, Jim was staring at Blair’s ass. Naomi watched him, watching her son. She didn’t know how that made her feel. But somehow it seemed right. When Blair stood up Jim pretended he was doing something else and Naomi almost laughed. Sully had been right. He was cute and he was sweet. And her son was totally in love with him. 

“So did you have a good time today, Naomi?” Jim asked as they sat down and had some tea. 

“Jim, she’s precious. I loved Lancy too, but Jade is past precious. I couldn’t have asked for a better granddaughter. I want to take Drake out next. I need to spend as much time as I can with them, so they’ll remember me.

Blair jumped up and said, “Something’s wrong?”

“No sweetie. Something’s right. I just need to make my mark on your children.” Naomi kissed him and then Jim. “Goodnight boys.”

“Goodnight, Mom.” 

“Goodnight, Naomi.” Jim stood up. 

“Jim, I wouldn’t mind if you called me Mom.”

“Thank you, but I’d rather not. Goodnight.” Jim walked into their bedroom and left Blair in the living room, confused. 

“Sweetie, did I do something wrong?” Naomi asked. 

“Not at all Mom. I think he’s just tired. Go to bed and we’ll talk tomorrow.” Blair kissed her again and joined Jim in their bedroom. 

Jim wasn’t naked tonight. In fact he still had his jeans on. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I miss my Mom. I know that’s stupid, but I miss her.” Jim sniffed and Blair realized this was more serious than he had thought. 

“Of course you miss her. Jim, she’s your mom. You never get over Mom’s. Mine drives me nuts, but I would be lost without her. Thank you for putting up with all of her shit.” Blair kissed Jim. 

“I love having her around.” Jim kissed him back. 

“Why don’t you get undressed and I’ll show you how much I love you.” Blair whispered. 

“Chief, I’m not in the mood.”

“Get your clothes off, big man. I want that cock and I want it now.” Blair demanded and funny thing happened. Jim grew hard instantly. Blair knew that secretly Jim loved being bossed around. 

Blair gave his man one of the best blowjobs he’d ever had in his life. Then Jim did the same to Blair. Both men fell asleep in the nude, which they didn’t do that often because of Jade. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

In the morning Drake was telling his Nana all about the Penis fairy and how it comes to him every morning. But he couldn’t show Jade. 

Jade walked through and went into Jim and Blair’s room. She lifted the cover and said, “Daddy, the fairy came and you need to go potty.”

“Thanks, Jade. I’ll go now.” 

“I decided I like being a girl. Nana’s fun. She’s way more fun than you and Poppy.”

“I’m glad you like being a girl. We like you being a girl too. “ Jim smiled at her and said, “Quit looking at my penis, Jade.”

“So when I get big, I’ll have a man with a penis to play with?” Jade asked. 

Blair sat straight up in bed and asked, “Who told you that?”

“Nana. She told me and Lancy all about it.” Jade was so thrilled. 

Naomi heard what was being said and she walked in and turned red when she saw Jim’s penis standing up. Jim pulled the sheet up over himself. 

“It’s okay, Nana. The Penis fairy came and he needs to go potty. Better go now, Daddy.”

“Fine, will you and Nana close your eyes?” Jim asked, feeling really stupid. 

They both shut their eyes and when he walked away Blair caught them looking at him. 

“Naomi, do you want to explain about her having a man with a penis to play with?” Blair was angry. 

“Honey, that’s not what I said. I said, penises are fun to play with, but you have to wait until you’re older.” 

“Oh Mom, that’s so much fucking better.” Blair yelled. 

Jim walked out and said, “Blair, settle down.”

“Don’t tell me to settle down. What else did you do with our daughter? Did you take her to see a Rated R Movie? What’s next?” He watched her face and said, “Oh shit, she did. What movie?”

Jade got upset and went to Jim. “It was X-men. We thought it was going to be funny. It was scary. So Nana took us out as soon as we got scared.”

“Mom, they’re rated R for a fucking reason.” Blair stood up completely naked and Jim grabbed the young man’s robe and threw it at him. 

“I’m sorry, Blair. I’ll leave today.” She turned and walked out of the room. 

“I don’t want my Nana to go.” Jade cried as she ran down the hallway. 

“Blair get your ass up and go apologize. She’s trying so hard and you’re fighting her like mad. Are you afraid that she’ll leave and won’t see the kids but once every two years or something?” 

“Yes. She will do that Jim. And we’re left to pick up the pieces. And I for one don’t want to do it.” Blair slammed into the bathroom. 

Jim said to no one in particular, “Well, isn’t this swell?”

He walked down and talked Naomi into staying. She said she’d talk to Blair about the abandonment issues he was having. 

During breakfast Jim said, “Naomi if I leave my SUV, could you take Drake to Pee Wee Baseball and Jade to Karate? I could leave all of the instructions and directions.” 

“I would love it. I want to be a part of their lives. I’m thinking of moving here. What do you think of that Blair?”

“I think it would be great. But I don’t think you’d be happy.” 

“I think I could try. I would just need to find an apartment that was bright and cheery and that had charm.” Naomi seemed like she was serious. 

“Did you like the Loft, Naomi?”

“Yes, the loft was nice. It needed a woman’s touch, but nice.”

“I have it, if you’d like to stay there.” Jim offered and Blair wanted to kick him. After all that was their home away from home. 

“Blair do you mind?” She sounded unsure of herself. 

“Poppy tell Nana that she can move there. Please????” Drake begged. 

“Sure, what the hell.” Blair said sighing. 

“Blair, we need to clean your language up. Jim does he always talk this badly?”

“He sure does.” Jim said as he ran for the garage. 

Well, now the kids would have a Nana in town and Blair would have his Mom close by. Jim wasn’t sure how he felt about all of this, but knew that it was the best for all of them. He would do anything for Blair and those kids. 

Another day in the life of the Sandburg-Ellison clan. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you again to Judy. Anyone that wants to give me ideas, go for it. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 58  
Nana’s Here!


	59. What Shall We Do With Simon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fun top ten list, but as always something has to throw it off a bit.

Sullivan's Pub Part 59  
What Shall We Do With Simon?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 06/09/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done. (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Thank you to Judy for reminding me about Jim, Blair and Simon. They had things to deal with. So this is due to her good memory. (I have none) All thanks should go to her. jbrown17@ix.netcom.com

Summary: A fun top ten list, but as always something has to throw it off a bit. 

Warnings: m/m Sweet, funny and angst.   
No beta.

WARNING: This is not a rape story, but Blair is still suffering from his ordeal. It takes years and years to learn to survive this type of attack. I know from experience. So it’s another hurdle he shall have to jump over. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 59  
What Shall We Do With Simon  
Patt

Jim and Blair came running through the doorway of the room at Sullivan’s and couldn’t believe they were the last ones again. 

“Damn!” Jim spat out. 

“Do you all get her an hour early? Cuz we’re here 30 minutes early.” Blair couldn’t believe this. 

“Blair, we come about 2 hours early so that we can show you up.” Connor laughed at the look on his face. 

Joel laughed too and said, “Come on. Let’s get this show started.”

“Tonight, we’re going to discuss Top Ten Things To Do While Stuck In Traffic. Would you do them? Would you have enough nerve to even think of doing them? And what would you do if your spouse or SO did them?” Connor was humming with excitement. Sullivan’s was her favorite place to relax. And tonights should be relaxing. 

“So are we going to start or just stay like this?” Simon growled. 

“Simon, calm down.” Sully wasn’t kidding. 

“Hang on, I want to talk to Simon, alone.” Jim stood up and asked Sully, “Can we use the kitchen?”

“Sure.” 

“What are you asking her for? I own part of it. Geeze.” Simon followed Jim grumbling the entire way. 

They both walked in and Jim shut the door. “Sit.”

Simon actually did what Jim said to do. “Now we’re going to have a talk. I know you didn’t fuck anyone. Do you want to fuck me?”

“Right now?” Simon looked like he was in shock. 

“No, not right now, you ditz. I mean in general. Do you ever think about fucking me?”

“All the time, Jim.”

“Simon, I can’t do that to Blair. You know I would never screw up our relationship. So that leaves us as just friends. And you either go find a man to fuck or stay with your wife who adores you.”

“I’m sorry Jim.”

“It’s okay, Simon. But don’t take it out on Sully. Please. She’s a great woman and a wonderful wife and mom. You couldn’t find anyone better.”

“I know. I do love her. I just have wanted something else. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to say sorry to me, Simon. I’m not the one you’ll fuck around on.”

Blair walked into the kitchen and said, “Hey.”

“I suppose you told him that I’m warm for your form?” Simon almost whispered. 

“Yes, we talked. Simon, talk to me.”

“We’re already talked, Chief. It’s taken care of.” Jim stood up and Blair said, “I’m not done, Jim.”

“Sorry.” He sat back down and waited. 

“If you feel the need to be with a man, don’t go to a stranger. Don’t do that to your wife. Ask her if she’d like to do a foursome and we’ll try that.” Blair was pacing as he spoke. Jim’s bottom lip was dragging on the floor in shock. 

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Sandburg.” Simon stood up and the two men started out. 

Jim called him back and said, “Chief, you want to come here a minute?” 

“Yeah?”

“What in the fuck were you thinking?” Jim yelled. 

“I thought it was a better idea than a stranger.” Blair spoke calmly but could see Jim was anything but calm. 

“Fine. Let’s get out there and do this thing.” Jim stormed out the room and everyone watched an angry Jim Ellison sit down at the table. 

“We’re ready, Connor.” Blair said. 

Top Ten Things To Do While Stuck In Traffic.  
Connor: 10. Play the exciting game "Does My Head Fit In The Glove Compartment?" 

 

Blair: I’d do this. It sounds like fun. Man, kind of like while on stakeout. Can anyone say, “Boring?”

Everyone: Boring. (Then they all laughed.)

Jim: This is stupid. A head wouldn’t fit in the glove compartment. 

Joel: It’s the trying part that would be funny, Jim. 

Jim: I think it’s dumb. 

Joel: Well some of us think it’s funny. 

Blair: You better be good Ellison or I’ll shove yours in the glove compartment. And I will make it fit.

Jim: Fuck you. (Jim kicked Blair’s chair.)

Simon: Don’t even start that shit, Jim. 

Dan: I think it’s dumb too, Jim. 

Sam: And I think it’s funny. See we all have different tastes. 

Jim: Yes, I found out tonight, we do.

Blair: Oh grow up, Ellison. 

Rafe: Don’t fight guys. It’s upsetting Henri. And I too think it’s stupid. 

Brown: So do I. And please don’t hit him Jim. 

Jim: Henri, I’m not going to hit him. (Sighing, he leans into Blair and kissed him.) I’m sorry Chief.

Blair: I love you, babe.

Sully: Okay, I don’t think it’s stupid, but I wouldn’t ever try fitting my head in one. (Giggles)

Connor: Well I’m going to answer this one. I think it’s dumb, but couldn’t you just see the look on a new partner’s face when you asked him to try it?

Everyone laughed. They all talked for a few minutes and Dan noticed that Jim kept watching Sam like a hawk. He was now officially worried sick. 

Dan: Jim, is there something wrong?

Jim: No. I was just listening to both of the girls. I like to hear the new heartbeats.

Dan: You swear nothing is wrong?

Sam: Jim is something wrong?

Jim: No, nothing is wrong. I heard something odd.

Dan: You don’t hear something wrong. What did you hear?

Jim: A second heartbeat. But the doctor would have picked that up on the ultrasound, right?

Dan: We have the ultrasound tomorrow. You hear two?

Jim: Wait until you talk to the doctor.

Dan kissed Sam and said, “I always wanted a large family. Always. I love you so much baby.”

“I love you back, honey. I’ll call Jim tomorrow and let him know what the doctor said.” Sam was beaming. 

Simon: Okay, are we ready to move on?

Sully: Not hardly. Congratulations you two. This is fantastic news. Do you have names?

Sam: Dan and I have names picked out, but we’re not sure for twins. That makes it harder. 

Connor: Do you want to keep with the T, for Tristan and go that way?

Sam: That would be cute. 

Dan: I don’t want matching names. Different letters, okay, Sammy?

Sam: Okay, Danny. How about Shanay and Yancy? If it’s a girl and a boy. Two boys, Dakota and Yancy. Two girls, Shanay and Nita. What do you think of those Danny? 

Dan: What does everyone think of those names? 

Jim: I love all four. But if you had a boy and girl set of twins, I would love Shanay and Yancy. 

Blair: Now, I love Shanay, but would love Dakota better. I think it would go so nicely with Tristan. 

Sully: Good thinking, Blair. 

Simon: It’s still early. We can discuss all of this later on, don’t you think?

Rafe: I think this is all terrific news. I’m very excited. 

Brown: Same here. We wish they’d call us about another addition to our family. No luck so far. 

Joel: I’m telling you, this is a very fertile bunch. Megan and I are thinking of adopting.

Jim: You’re kidding? That’s terrific news. 

Blair: It is wonderful news, Connor. You know where I am if you need to talk. 

Sully: Good luck Meggie. 

Sam: Good luck is right. They’re a handful aren’t they?

Rafe: Maybe we’ll be on the list together, Joel and Megan. 

Joel: We could give each other support. 

Brown: You’ll pay us money?

Joel: Henri, don’t think almost dying will get you out of everything. (Laughing.)

Blair: Back to Dan and Sam. Good luck to both of you and we’ll be waiting for the news when you get done at the Doctor.

Dan: Thank you everyone. 

Simon: Now can we move on?

 

Connor: 9. Roll down window, ask person next to you, "Is this the line for X-men2?" 

Jim: (Laughing) I like this one. I might even try this one. 

Blair: I know I’d do this one. It’s a hoot. 

Brown: I would too, Hairboy. 

Rafe: I wouldn’t. 

Brown: Everyone raise his or her hand that is surprised. 

Rafe: You better be nice. 

Joel: I would say this, if I were in a playful mood. 

Simon: I think you’re all nuts. Geeze. 

Sully: I’m laughing my ass off baby. 

Sam: I think it’s very funny too. 

Dan: I would say it. But then again, I work with dead people. They don’t care what I say. 

Sam: (Laughing) Danny, in the car.

Dan: Oh in the car. Okay, in that case yes I would say it.

Simon: We can move on now.

 

Connor: 8 Honk your horn -- that always helps to get things moving.

Jim: I do this. I don’t think it’s funny. 

Blair: Neither does anyone else Jim. (Giggling)

Simon: You honk your horn for no reason?

Jim: I thought everyone did. 

Simon: Well I do. 

Sam: OH lord, we have two to contend with. 

Sully: He’s horrible. If they don’t move fast enough he yells out the window and honks. Then he always turns to me and says, “I got a gun. What are they gonna do?”

Everyone starts to laugh. 

Dan: I never do this. 

Blair: Neither do I Dan. Not that I would have much choice because my partner doesn’t let me drive. He’s anal that way. 

Jim: You want to drive? Fine. You drive your Santa Fe tomorrow.

Blair: No lie? You promise?

Jim: I promise. 

Rafe: And you’ll be in the Santa Fe with him?

Jim: No, I’ll be driving my own fucking SUV. 

Brown: (Roaring with laughter.) I knew it sounded too good to be true. 

Jim: What? He asked if he could drive his own SUV and I said yes.

Blair: Fuck you, Jim. And not in a good way. 

Joel: There are bad ways?

Blair: Don’t help him, Joel. He’s cut off for a month. 

Jim: Fuck. 

Blair: Not with me you’re not. 

Simon: It’s okay, Sandburg, I’ll come over and take care of you. 

Sully: Jim’s getting mad. Let’s not tease him. 

Simon: OH, fuck Jim.

Blair: Nope, not for a month. 

Simon: Hot damn, I can practice. (Laughing.)

Jim stood up threw everything on the table onto the floor and let out a howl that hurt everyone’s ears. Then he stormed out of the room. 

Dan: You better go and get him, Blair.

Blair: Did you see how angry he was? I’m not going near him. 

Simon: He has some anger issues. 

Joel: He wouldn’t if you didn’t tease him. You know how jealous he is of his Blair. 

Connor: That’s true, Simon. You owe Jim an apology. 

Simon: Jim can grow up. 

Sully: As of now, you get no sex for a month. 

Sam: Are we having fun yet? Someone told me that these are fun. 

Dan: (Kissing her) Sam’s upset. Don’t upset her. 

Sam: Could someone look for Jim? I’m worried. 

Simon stood up and said, “I’ll find him and apologize. Better?”

“Much, honey.” Sully kissed him before he left the room. 

Joel: Does Jim really scare you Blair?

Blair: When he gets that mad, yes. Didn’t he look scary to anyone else?

Dan: But a couple of weeks ago you were pushing him right and left. You weren’t scared then. 

Blair: Well, we had words before this thing and he was really upset about something. 

Sully: What? Maybe we can help. 

Blair: Really, it’s too personal. 

Outside Jim was pacing in the parking lot. Simon caught up to him and said, “Jim, I’m sorry. I was only teasing.”

Jim looked over at him with sad eyes and said, “You’re not getting him Simon. He’s mine. I’m not sharing.”

“Okay, I got it. I’ll look elsewhere.” Simon put his arm around Jim’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “What was that in there?”

“What?”

“Throwing everything off the table and screaming.”

“Simon, I can’t lose him. He’d be happier with someone else. I probably don’t keep him satisfied.”

“Whoa. Where did that come from?” Simon asked. 

“I’m done feeling sorry for myself. I won’t raise my voice again.” Jim headed back. 

“Jim, answer me. Why do you think that about Blair?”

“You wouldn’t understand…”

“Try me.”

“He won’t let me fuck him. The last month or so, he’s been fucking me. I ask to fuck him and he says next time. So I think he’s not satisfied.” Jim began walking to the pub again. 

“Jim, maybe he needs to see someone again.”

“Shut up about that. Just shut up.” Jim was so sad he could hardly stand it. 

“Shit, you do know that’s the problem.”

“He’ll leave me again, Simon.”

“You do what you have to do, Jim.” Simon put his arm around Jim’s shoulders and led the sad man back into the building. 

“They’re on their way, but Jim seems kind of down.” Rafe said quickly before he sat down. 

As Jim came through the door, he said, “Sorry everyone for my outburst. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry Chief. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I am sorry.”

Blair went over and hugged him hard. “I love you, man.”

Jim leaned down and kissed the top of Blair’s head. 

Simon: Are we now ready to move on?

 

Connor: 7. Call police, report-stolen car; give license plate of car in front of you 

 

Joel: Well that wouldn’t work because they would trace the call, even a cell call back to you. 

Connor: That’s true, Honey bear. 

Blair: Damn, that’s too bad because this would be a funny one. 

Rafe: I might still try it. 

Brown: You? You might try doing something that you could get caught doing? Whoa. Will wonders never cease?

Simon: I agree with Rafe. It might be fun. 

Sully: Well you could always have a fake cell phone. One with a bogus name on it. 

Simon: Sully, you’re talking to a Captain of Police. 

Sully: And you’re point is?

Everyone laughs. 

Dan: I agree with Sully. Get a bogus number on the cell and sit in wait for a time to use it. 

Sam: Dan honey, you need to get out more. (Giggling)

Jim: The bogus one wouldn’t work because you have to pay for it with an account number. If you can’t, they won’t give it to you. 

Blair: Well Mr. Stick In Mud. Let’s just pretend we can. And we can go with that. 

Simon: Guess what time it is Connor?

 

Connor: 6. Imagine you're in a line of cars waiting to run over Donald Trump.

Jim: Now this one we could all do. 

Blair: Yay. I want to do this one. 

Jim: You’re just pretending, Blair. 

Blair: Oh, I know. (Whispers to himself, damn it.)

Sam: I like this. I could pretend quite well. 

Dan: So could I. 

Simon: Well he’s never done anything to me, so I don’t want to be an ass. 

Sully: Honey, it doesn’t stop you from doing it to your friends.

Simon: Sully what’s wrong?

Sully: That’s my question. I want to know what’s wrong. I want to know why Jim got so upset tonight. I want to know if you’re going to leave me.

Simon: Jesus Sully. We’ll discuss all of this when we get home. 

Sully: Now, Simon. 

Simon: I didn’t do anything to Jim. You can ask him. He’s got things on his mind. They don’t have anything to do with me. 

Sully: Jim, is this true?

Jim: Yes. 

Simon: Sully, I’ve been thinking about experimenting with a threesome. For me you and a man. And they were talking me out of it.

Sully: You aren’t happy with me anymore?

Simon: I love you to death. And I’m not leaving you.

Sam: Well I think you should discuss the rest when you get home.

Jim: I think that Simon wants something he can’t have. 

Sully: So what should I do Jim? (Softly crying.)

Jim: I’ll take you shopping for a vibrator; lube and you’re going to make him come like he’s never come before. Do we have a deal?

Sully: We do. I want to keep my husband.

Jim: You will. 

Dan: You’re a good man, Jim. 

Sam: I told you that earlier. 

Dan: Well at least we agree. 

Sully: We’ll talk when we get home, Si. 

Simon: Sully, I love you. (Kissing her.) We could probably move on now.

 

Connor: 5. Turn on wipers, have "race" to see which one goes faster.

Blair: Jim already does this one. 

Jim: I do not. 

Blair: He does. He named them and roots for the one-he thinks will win. 

Everyone howls with laughter. 

Joel: Blair, you’re too much. 

Blair: That’s what Jim said to me last night when I shoved my cock up his ass. 

Jim: Chief…

Blair: Oops. Sorry everyone. 

Rafe: I might do this. 

Brown: Holy shit. Let’s try tomorrow. 

Rafe: We have to be stopped in traffic, Henri. 

Brown: Damn. 

Dan: I think this one sounds fun too Blair. But it would be more fun in your SUV with Jim. 

Jim: It wouldn’t Dan, because I don’t do this. 

Dan: But we could pretend, Jim. 

Sam: You guys are too much. 

Sully: I would do this. 

Simon: I find that frightening. Connor, I think its time to move along. Woo Hoo. 

 

Connor: 4. Walk up to guy in car ahead of you and ask him about his grandson.

Blair: Now, this one I have done. 

Jim: He has. 

Joel: You’re not joking?

Jim: Nope. I had to go and get him and drag him back to the SUV before traffic started to move. 

Blair: He’s such a fucking killjoy. 

Simon: I can see him doing this. He’s talk to anyone. 

Rafe: He does talk to anyone. 

Brown: Yes he does. 

Simon: This isn’t about who he would talk to; it’s about going out of a vehicle at a traffic jam and talking to the person ahead of you. 

Blair: Well I don’t think they thought I was up there fucking the guy. I mean, Jim was right behind us. He wouldn’t have stood for it. 

Jim: Chief…

Blair: Spit it out. 

Jim leaned into Blair and whispered, “I love you so much.”

Blair: You can move it along, Simon. 

 

Connor: 3. Use jumper cables to resuscitate road kill.

Blair: I tried this once. 

Joel: Oh you did not. 

Blair: Yes, I did. 

Joel: Did he do this Jim?

Jim: No. 

Rafe: Well I for one am very friggin disappointed, Hairboy. 

Blair: I’ll try another time, Rafe. 

Rafe: Okay. 

Blair: Hey, can I work with you guys? You’re way more fun. (Laughing)

Brown: He’s teasing Ellison. Calm down. 

Blair: I am teasing, Jim. 

Jim: Good, because I love being your partner. 

Dan: I want to be someone’s partner. I know how to shoot. 

Sam: (Laughing) I can see it now in court. “And why were you there, Doctor Wolfe. Well I just wanted to shoot someone today. Seemed like a good day to do it.”

Sully: (Howling) You’re such a hoot, Sam. 

Simon: This one was stupid and I wish to move on, Connor.

 

Connor: 2. Plow into a couple of those dorky new VW Beetles

 

Jim: I would never use my SUV to hurt anyone’s vehicle. 

Blair: You’re such a boyscout. 

Jim: You would ram your Santa Fe into one of those cars?

Blair: Of course not. But I could make jokes about it. 

Jim: Whatever. 

Blair: Fuck you. 

Jim: You always do. 

Blair: What do you mean by that?

Simon: Okay, we’re getting off the beaten path. 

Blair: Shut up, Simon. What do you mean by that, Jim?

Jim: You think you’re so fucking smart, figure it out.

Blair: What? You’ve decided that you don’t like being a bottom?

Jim: I’ve never been ‘just’ a bottom. It’s always been a two-way street. I thought anyway. But not lately. 

Blair: Fine whatever. 

Blair got up and moved away from the table and Jim followed him. Blair didn’t know he was there. He bent over the table to get some of the pretzels and Jim leaned with him to whisper something and everyone heard nothing but a blood curdling sound come out of Blair’s mouth. 

Jim jumped back and stayed back. His whole body was shaking but he knew he couldn’t force himself on Blair. 

Connor rushed over and took him into her arms. “Sandy, talk to me.”

“Can I sleep with you tonight, Meggie?” Blair sounded so sad and pitiful it broke everyone’s heart.

“Yes Sandy you sure can.” She and Joel led him out to the parking lot. Jim watched from the window with tears falling down his cheeks. 

Speaking to no one in particular he said, “It’s PTSS. He’ll have it for a long time. It’ll hit every now and then. I just pray that he won’t leave me during one of the times.”

They all gathered around Jim and held him for an hour or more. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Jim slept fretfully that night. Jade woke him in the morning and said, “Daddy, where is Poppy?”

“He had to go to work already, precious.”

“Oh goody. I thought maybe he moved again.” Jade snuggled into Jim and fell back to sleep. 

When the phone rang he answered quickly, hoping it was Blair. 

“Jim, we had to take Blair to the hospital. He was having some type of anxiety attack and they have him on some pretty good drugs now.” Joel wanted to warn Jim. 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Jim got up and called Linda first thing. He more or less told her what was going on. She hurried over and Jim didn’t even shower before going out. “Thank you, Linda. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Take care of family business, Jim.” Linda kissed his cheek and pushed him out the door. 

Jim arrived at the hospital and Joel and Connor led the way to Blair’s room. When they walked in Jim could hear his heart pounding in his chest. 

Jim walked over and said, “Chief, if you want me to leave, I can.”

Blair began to cry and begged, “Don’t leave me Jim. I need you to hold me. Please?”

Jim crawled onto the bed and held on to Blair for dear life. When the doctor came in, he said, “Well now this is much better.”

“This is Jim Ellison, his life partner.” Joel introduced. 

“I’ve met Detective Ellison. I’m Doctor Marshall from about two years ago.”

“Yes, it’s good to see you here.” Jim shook his hand briefly. 

“Blair, can you wake up for me?”

Blair opened his eyes and began to panic. “It’s okay, Chief. I’m right here.”

“Blair, we’re going to have a special doctor come in to see you for a week or so and try and get these panic attacks under control. Will that be all right?” Dr. Marshall asked. 

“Yes, I want to get better and go home. I have a family.” And Blair started to cry thinking about the kids. 

Jim spent as much time with Blair as he could. But he had to work and be with the kids too. So, he was sleeping maybe an hour a night. Finally he realized he could sleep at the hospital with Blair and that way he’d be with him and get to sleep. 

Linda stayed at the house all the time while this was going on. 

For the next week, he had intensive therapy and it was doing the trick. He was beginning to feel better and have less panic attacks. 

Blair ended up being there for ten days. When Jim picked him up, he looked like a new person. 

The kids were all over him when he came in the door and Jim thought he hadn’t seen Blair that happy in a long time. He hoped it would last a while. 

That night in bed Blair told Jim that sex was going to be a while, and Jim said, “Baby, I don’t care if we ever do as long as I get to hold you.”

Blair knew that Jim meant it and loved this man more than he could ever show. 

As they went to sleep that night in each other’s arms, Jim realized he had what was most important in his life. That would be Blair. He loved him so much; he would give up anything and everything for him returning that love. He was going to help Sully shop for Simon, so she could keep him happy. There is no way Jim could share his man. 

Blair laid and thought about how much he loved Jim and turned to his lover’s face and said, “I love you so much.”

Jim just held him tighter and didn’t push anything on him. Blair relaxed and started to go to sleep. He was going to be seeing a new therapist tomorrow, so he hoped that would help too. Things would get better. Their lives would get better. He wanted Jim to fuck him some day soon. 

Up and down the street, all of their friends lay in bed holding each other, grateful to have that special someone to hold. 

Connor was going to find a kick butt survey if it killed her. She had to make everyone’s lives a little better. Nothing was better than laughter. Things would be fine. 

So Sayeth the Author. J 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 59  
What Shall We Do With Simon? 

Thank you for reading, come again soon.


	60. Baby, Baby, Who Wants a Baby?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who isn’t having a friggin baby?

Sullivan’s Pub Part 60  
Baby, Baby, Who Wants a Baby?  
Author: Patt  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 06/13/03  
Category: Drama/Humor 

Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done. (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)

 

Author's Notes: Thank you to Tinn for all of the wonderful ammo to work with. I love ya, darlin. But I am sorry for making a lot of the story serious, when the ammo was so funny. But sometimes that happens with me. 

Summary: Who isn’t having a friggin baby? 

Warnings: m/m Sweet, funny and angst and more angst.   
No beta.

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 60  
Baby, Baby, Who Wants a Baby?  
Patt

The phone rang first thing in the morning at Rafe and Brown’s house. Rafe picked it up and said, “Rafe.”

“Rafe, this is Rena at the Agency? Well we have a baby for you and Henri if you’re interested.” 

“How old? When?” Rafe was interested all right. 

“He’s six months old, his name is Remington Tyler. And we’d like you to have him as soon as possible.” Rena was so thrilled she met this Major Crime bunch. 

“You can count on us. Henri’s in the shower, but he’s going to say bring him now.” Rafe was almost bouncing. 

“Come to my office and we’ll get everything taken care of. Then you’ll have your son this afternoon.” Rena hung up knowing that this was a fantastic home. Lancy had just blossomed since they took her in. And she loved her Daddy’s. 

Brown walked out and said, “What?”

“We have a boy.” Rafe said tearfully. 

“No shit? A baby?”

“Yes, he’s six months. His name is Remington Tyler. I don’t know anything else about him.” Rafe kissed Henri hard. 

They all got ready and the two men dropped off Lancy, without mentioning anything to her, at the day care program, and they went to Rena’s office. Once they finished all of the paperwork, they would go before the judge. She had her secretary bring Remington into the office and they both got to see their son for the first time. He was beautiful. Brown took him from the woman and started kissing him and talking to him while Rafe looked on. 

“Rena, what happened with his parents?” Rafe needed to know. 

“They died and there is no other family. There is nothing wrong with him, he’s perfectly healthy as you can see.” She just smiled at the two men making fools of themselves with this baby. 

They met the judge at the courthouse and signed all of the papers. It was official. Rafe and Brown now had a baby boy. 

/////// Keep in mind this was done at warp speed. //////// 

“Let’s take him to the bullpen so everyone can see him.” Rafe needed to show him off. 

“You got it.” Brown said smiling. 

When they walked into MC, Connor said, “Oh god, who has the sweet baby? Rafe he looks like you. Is there something you want to tell us?” 

Everyone laughed but the child did look a little like Rafe. Rafe beamed when they said it. 

 

Remington Tyler Rafe

“What’s going on?” Simon bellowed from his doorway. 

“We’re showing our new son off, sir.” Brown said proudly. 

“Well don’t let Ellison get a hold of him, he’ll ruin him. What’s this little guys name?” 

“Remington Tyler, sir.” Rafe answered. 

“Would you like to come and sit with Uncle Simon, Remmy?” Simon gave him no choice. He grabbed him and took him into his office for hugs and kisses. 

“Babe, if you don’t want anyone calling him Remmy, you better change that now.” Brown advised. 

“I kind of like the sounds of that. What do you think?”

“I love it. I love him. I love you. I love Lancy. God, could life get any better?” Brown asked. 

“Yeah, we could be kissing.” Rafe teased. 

Blair and Jim walked into the bullpen and Rafe said, “Guess who had a boy?”

Jim picked both men up, one at a time, off the floor and swung them around. “Congratulations. I’m so thrilled for you. What’s his name?”

“Remington Tyler Rafe is his official name.” Brown said smiling. 

“Can I call him Remmy?” Jim asked. 

“You sure can.” Brown answered. 

Blair hugged both men and said, “So when do you get him?”

“He’s sitting with Simon right now.” Rafe smiled as he looked in there. 

“Oh my god. He looks like you, Rafe.” Blair giggled. 

“He’s a darling. He’s going to be a handful. The boss is ruining him.” Jim teased. 

“Funny, he said the same thing about you.” Rafe teased back. 

“Can I go and get him?” Jim asked. 

“Sure.” Brown said proudly. 

So little Remington got passed around most of the day. They Rafe and Brown put him in his car seat to go and pick up his big sister from day care. 

When they picked up Lancy it went well. She was very proud to have a baby brother and she said he was the cutest baby out of anyone’s. Rafe kept watching them all and thinking, ‘Could life get much better?’

Jim got off before Blair that night, so he made dinner, bathed the kids and then was in the middle of reading to them when Blair walked through the door. 

“Hi Poppy. Daddy’s in a really good mood.” Jade said laughing. 

“Well good. I’m glad to hear it.” Blair leaned down for a kiss and then he kissed Jim after them. (You thought I was going to say the opposite didn’t you?)

The phone rang and Blair answered, “Sandburg.”

“Hey Sam. What’s going on? Did you find out yet?”

There was no sound and finally Blair said, “Congratulations. I’ll tell Jim. He’ll be thrilled. Talk to you in a few days.” 

“She is having twins and they’re girls. The doctor could see little tiny uteruses. Is that cute or what?” Blair was still smiling.

“That’s fantastic. Babe, eat something.” Jim loved to boss Blair. 

“Wait a minute. She decided on names already. Well they decided. Want to hear?” Blair was hyped. 

“Do I have a choice?” Jim teased. 

Blair looked at him and said, “I’ll go and eat.”

“Chief, I was kidding.” Jim called out, but Blair didn’t come back. // Shit, why do you always do this shit? //

Jim carried little Rayne as he walked into the kitchen. He leaned down and kissed Blair. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Now tell me the names.”

“Shanay and Yancy. She decided she liked Yancy for a girl anyhow. They’re both Native American names.” Blair explained. “How is my baby today?”

“I’ve had better days?” Jim whined. 

“I was talking about Rayne.” Blair laughed as he took her from Jim. Jim kissed him once more before he went back to read to the kids. 

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you bored with doing this all the time?” Blair asked quietly. 

“Not even close. I’m so relaxed when I’m with the kids. I love it. Babe, I’m never going to tire of it.” Jim walked back and kissed him again. “I was just being a jerk. You know me. I need no reason.”

Blair loved this man so much. “Jim, I talked to the therapist today about a lot of things. One of them was I’d like you to come to a few sessions. Would you do that for me?”

“You know I would. I love you baby. Oh and you too Blair.” Jim kissed both Rayne and Blair. 

“Rayney, Daddy is so silly isn’t he?”

“You weren’t saying silly last night.” Jim swatted his butt as he walked out of the room again. Jim wondered why he was making up a love life to his partner, who knew it didn’t exist. 

“Who needs a story?” Jim called out looking at the ceiling. 

“Daddy, did you see some of them penis fairy’s floating around?” Jade jumped up so quick she knocked Drake right off the sofa. 

“No, Jade, I was just teasing.” Jim said calmly. 

“Man, I thought you saw one. Have you seen it? Ever?”

“No, I’ve never seen it.” Jim tried to get her off of this subject. “I’m going to read. If there’s a penis fairy in the room, he’s going to hear this book.”

“Well I’ll listen because I love when the fairy comes.” Drake said seriously. 

“But Drake, I’m only reading. We’re not doing anything else.” Some days they made Jim feel very old. Jim looked over at Jade and she was watching something and then looking at the ceiling. “Jade, what are you doing?”

“I see one Daddy. I’m going to get me a penis fairy and get me a penis.” She started jumping all over the room. 

“I thought that Nana Naomi showed you how wonderful it was to be a girl. I thought you were all right with being a girl.” Jim was confused. 

“I can still be a stinking girl and have a penis. Geeze, Daddy don’t you know nothing?” She continued to jump around flinging her arms all over the place. 

Blair walked in and watched her for a while and said, “I’m not sure I want to know.”

“She spotted a penis fairy and is going to catch one.” Jim explained. 

“Of course, I should have known.” Blair laughed outright. 

Blair sat next to Jim on the sofa and just cuddled Rayne. Jim cuddled Drake. Suddenly Drake said, “They must be in the room.”

“Who?” Jim asked, being the idiot he was. 

“The penis fairy.”

“Why must they be in the room, Drake?”

“See?” Drake pointed to his little hard on and Blair and Jim both burst out laughing. 

“You better get ready. Yours will be next.” Drake sat and stared at Jim’s groin area. 

“Knock it off, Drake. There isn’t a fairy in the room. I don’t know why you got that, but we don’t have one at all.” Jim was tired of talk of penises, unless he was getting one. 

On cue, they put the kids to bed. Drake to fondle himself, Jade to whine for 20 minutes about not catching one and Rayne was an angel and went right to sleep. 

Jim never initiated sex these days. He waited for Blair so that he didn’t scare him off. Jim was so horny. He was used to getting a lot more often. 

Blair moved into the bed and curled into Jim’s arms and started to fall asleep. Jim wasn’t going to get any again tonight. // Damn. //

Remington’s first night was a great one. They got themselves a sleeper. How lucky was that? Rafe and Brown had time to fool around in the morning before the two kids got up. 

“It won’t always be like this, but today was wonderful. Thank you for giving me two children, Bri.” 

“And thank you Henri for giving me two children. God, they’re just perfect. I love you so much.”

 

Four days later:

Everyone got to Sullivan’s and they asked how Brown and Rafe were. 

“They’re coming tonight. His sister couldn’t wait to baby-sit little Remmy.” Connor smiled. 

As soon as it was out of her mouth they came walking in. Jim walked up to Connor and said, “Missy, could I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure.” She followed him out of the room. 

“Does he know yet?”

“Don’t tell him, please.” A misty eyed Connor was too much for Jim. 

“He’s going to notice sooner or later.” Jim was trying to be sensible. 

“He’ll want me to abort it, so that nothing happens to me. God, Jim, I want a baby so bad.”

“You have one. And she’s perfect.” Jim knew what she meant. 

“I know, but I want another one. I want this one to be perfect too. God, I just want to carry it full term.”

“You tell him tonight. Understood?” Jim ordered. 

“No, I’m not telling him. I’ll be good until about six or seven months. He’ll just think I gained weight.”

“Connor, what the hell are you doing? Knock it off and tell him.”

“So I can come and live with you and Blair when he says to get rid of it?” Megan was crying now. 

“Yes.” He kissed the top of her head as he held her. Joel walked over and said, “Is something wrong, Meggie?”

“She wants to talk to you.” Jim moved so that Joel could take his place in holding his wife. 

When they came back into the room they both looked pretty good and Joel smiled at Jim. “We have news too. Meggie is pregnant also. I don’t want her to be, but we’ll try it once more.”

“Congratulations.” Rafe and Brown said together. 

“Ditto.” Simon and Sully said laughing. 

“Do you believe how many babies we have here?” Sam asked. 

“There is never too many.” Jim said. “Congratulations from both of us, Joel and Megan.”

Connor smiled and said, “This is going to be a fun survey. Let’s get this show on the road, eh?”

Simon: What’s it about?

Connor: Bumper stickers. Do they remind you of anyone? Would you use them? Or are they just stupid?

 

Connor: Some people are only alive because  
it is illegal to shoot them.

Jim: Oh this is too true. 

Blair: I have to agree with Jim. Course, I would like to shoot Jim sometimes. 

Simon: I don’t want to hear that. 

Jim: What did I do, Chief?

Blair: Nothing, I just like to keep you on your toes. Twinkle toes Ellison. 

Jim just sat there with his mouth hanging open. 

Rafe: Oh god, we’re never going to let you live that down, Ellison. 

Brown: Back on course, I think this bumper sticker should go on all cop cars. 

Simon: What a good idea. I’ll bring it up to the Police Commissioner. (Laughs hard)

Joel: I think it’s a good idea too. 

Dan: I think I need them for all of my drawers. (Howling)

Sam: Well I might agree with this one too. 

Sully: I don’t. There are a few of you that deserve to live. 

Connor: Sully, you’re such a hoot. 

Sully: Megan, since when do you say hoot?

Connor: Since Joel says it all the time. I picked it up from him. 

Sully: Ah, now it makes sense.

Simon: We could probably move on instead of discussing that crap. 

Sully: You’re cut off big man. 

Simon: I’m sorry. 

Sully: Too late, asshole. 

Simon: Could we move on so I could go home and sleep with myself?

 

Connor: You're just jealous because the voices  
only talk to ME. 

 

Jim: I wouldn’t use this one. 

Blair: I would. 

Dan: I love this one. 

Sam: I knew you would, Danny. 

Simon: I think it’s dumb. 

Sully: And I think it’s funny. 

Joel: I like it. It would suit, Meggie. 

Connor: It would. I have voices talking to me all the time. 

Jim: Should we be scared, Connor? 

Connor: NO, they say nice things. Like bake cookies for the guys. Kiss them all before they leave Sullivan’s. Stuff like that. 

Jim: IN that case, keep hearing them. We love you too. 

Rafe: I think this one’s stupid. 

Brown: And I’m going to be laughing about it for a week. 

Rafe: Or until I put a pillow over your face. 

Simon: Geeze, don’t say this shit to me. 

Blair: I think Jim would be jealous of the voices. 

Jim: I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m not doing it tonight. 

Simon: Okay, time to move on. 

 

Connor: BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

Jim: Well actually I’ll drink beer whenever. So this one works for me. 

Blair: It would. 

Simon: You think he drinks too much, Sandburg? 

Blair: Yes. 

Simon: Do you Ellison?

Jim: How many times have you seen me drunk?

Dan: You know Blair I don’t think I’ve ever seen him drink here. 

Blair: I didn’t say here. 

Simon: Oh so it’s at home that he has the problem. 

Jim: I don’t have a problem. Blair’s mad at me. 

Sully: Well you know where I am if you need help. 

Sam: Same here. Both of you know where I am. 

Rafe: Jim doesn’t have a drinking problem. I go down all the time and he’s never drunk. What are you doing, Sandburg? 

Jim: It’s okay. Just drop it. 

Brown: Jim’s not a drunk, Sandburg.

Blair: I didn’t expect you all to do anything but side with him anyhow.

Jim: Blair, stop please.

Blair: Fine…

 

Connor: So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

 

Jim: I think this is rude. 

Blair: OH like you care. 

Jim just sighed and didn’t say anything else. 

Sully: I think it’s rude also Jim. 

Simon: I think it’s stupid. 

Rafe: Me too. 

Brown: I think it’s mean. 

Sam: I think it’s awful. 

Dan: I agree. 

Sully: With who?

Dan: With everyone. 

Joel: I agree with everyone too. 

Simon: We could move this along, Connor. 

 

Connor: I need someone real bad...  
Are you real bad? 

 

Blair: (Falls out of chair.) This is so Jim. 

Simon: Which part? 

Blair: The part where he’s begging. 

Joel: Blair, knock it off. 

Sully: I think this is a very funny one. I like it. 

Simon: So do I.

Joel: Same here. 

Rafe: I want this one. I’d wear it on my shirt. 

Brown: A bumper sticker?

Rafe: No, I mean I’d have the saying put on a shirt. Goofball. 

Brown: I thought you were losing it big time. 

Dan: I like this one a lot. I want this one, Connor. Can we have a copy? 

Sam: I want one too. 

Simon: Well I think we could move. 

 

Connor: BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.

 

Jim: I hate this one. 

Blair: That’s cuz you’re a drunk.

Everyone: Sandburg!!!!!

Jim: It’s okay. If he thinks I’m a fucking drunk, I’ll give him a drunk. 

Jim went to the bar and got four drinks and drank them down pretty fast. 

Sully: Well I hate this one too. 

Simon: Same here. 

Rafe: It’s stupid. 

Brown: I agree. 

Dan: I hate it also. 

Sam: Jim, slow down, honey.

Joel: Maybe he does need to relax. 

Blair: Relax my ass. 

Simon: Let’s move this along. 

 

Connor: All men are idiots... and I married their king.

Blair: (Falls laughing out of his chair.) Ain’t this the truth?

Jim: You can leave anytime you want.

Blair: Yeah, right. 

Simon: You can leave, Sandburg. He can’t hurt you. 

Blair: You don’t know what happens at our house.

Everyone looked at Jim. 

Jim: Chief, what are you talking about? 

Blair: Nothing. 

Jim: Tell me. 

Blair: I don’t want to talk about it now. 

Joel: Maybe we should clear the air. 

Blair: Fine… Jim makes me do things at night. 

Jim sat there with his mouth hanging open. 

Simon looking upset said, “You want to clarify that?”

Blair: He forces me to have sex.

Jim put his head in his hands and they could all see his shoulders shaking. 

Blair: He knows I don’t want to do it, but he does it anyway. 

Joel: Do you tell him, Blair?

Blair: I told him I hate sex, wouldn’t that be enough for you? 

Dan: Jim, what do you say about this?

Jim: (crying) I say I haven’t had sex in a long while. So if I’m having sex it’s not while I’m aware.

Blair: You bastard. They’ll believe you. 

Jim: Blair, I haven’t fucked you in ages. Last night I wanted to so badly, but you made it clear it was off limits. 

Blair: Whatever. Just move on. 

Sully: I think this is odd. Blair, maybe we need to have you and Jim go to some therapy together. 

Blair: Whatever. 

Sam: I’m very sad for both of you, Blair. 

 

Connor: The more you complain,  
the longer God makes you live.

Jim: I like this one. 

Blair: You would. 

Simon: Stop it. Sandburg, if you can’t be civil leave. 

Blair: Fine, I hate it here anyway. 

Jim: Chief, sit down. We don’t want you to leave. Please?

Blair sat back down and just looked at the floor. 

Sully: I like this saying too. 

Blair got up and walked out of the room. Jim stood up to follow him and Simon said, “Jim, leave him alone. He’s an asshole tonight.”

“Something’s wrong with him.” Jim followed him outside and he talked him into going home with him. Simon followed him out and said, “Jim, I’ll be driving.”

“Okay.” 

Everyone watched from the window and said, “You don’t think any of that was true do you?”

“I hope not.” Joel said quietly. 

When they were driving home Blair began to cry and let Jim hold him. “Jim something’s wrong with me.”

“Simon could we make a stop at Urgent Care?” Jim asked. 

“Sure.” Simon would suffer guilt for the rest of his life for the pain this poor young man had to suffer. 

After an hour-long wait, they saw Blair and admitted him right then and there. Dr. Watson said, “Blair is suffering from terrible manic episodes and we need to get them under control. He might be here for a week, two weeks or a month.”

“Thank you Doctor. We were all worried about him.” Jim said sadly. 

“He’s going to lash out at you, Jim. So you have to stay strong for him.” 

“Can we see him tonight?” Simon asked. 

“Not tonight. Check tomorrow afternoon and see if he’s up to company.” Dr. Watson then walked down the hallway and was gone. 

The Doctor called Jim the following day. “Ellison.”

“Jim, this is Doctor Watson. I wanted to let you know that we’re keeping him for a month. And he wants no visitors at all. I’m sorry, but it’s his choice and we have to listen to him.”

“Please don’t do this to me. I have to see him.” Jim was almost in tears. 

“This would be a good time for you to seek therapy too, Jim. Please just follow my orders.” Doctor Watson hung up the phone and Jim was in shock. 

For the next month Jim did see someone for his problems. He raised the kids alone, fed them alone, bathed them alone and slept in his bed alone. He was basically fucking lonely. 

After four weeks Blair called Jim and said he was going to an apartment that was like a halfway house to continue his therapy. So it would be another month. Jim kept comments to himself and wished Blair well. 

Jim did continue to go to the Sullivan Pub Survey’s so that the kids would think something was normal. 

Connor: We’ve got more bumper stickers. 

Simon: Oh goody. 

 

Connor: Whitewater is over  
when the First Lady sings. 

 

Jim: I like this one. 

Sully: So do I. 

Joel: I think it’s dumb. 

Rafe: so do I. 

Brown: Does anyone want to hear how Remmy is doing?

Laughter breaks out. 

Jim: I do. 

Simon: We all do. 

Rafe: Go for it, babe. 

Brown: He sleeps all night long and when he wakes in the morning, it’s always with a smile. God, he’s just precious. And Lancy adores him. We thought there would be a problem, but she helps with everything and thinks she’s his mom. I sat him down on the floor last night to just play with his toys and he fell over and took off crawling. Do you believe it? 

Jim: They grow up so damn fast. 

Sully: He sounds just precious, Henri and Brian. 

Rafe: He is. They both are. 

Jim: So how is Simone?

Simon: She’s just gorgeous, happy, and precious and keeps us on our toes already. I couldn’t have asked for a better baby. We couldn’t have asked. Sorry, babe. Of course she’s walking and making us run after her and I’m too fucking old. But all in all, she’s darling. 

Sully: Yeah, what he said. 

Jim: Okay, Dan and Sam are up next. How is Tristan? 

Dan: He’s so nice. I mean he’s just a nice child. If someone falls at daycare, he helps him or her up. And he’s just a baby. He of course does sleep all night and he went from crawling to running. He can be a handful also. But most of the time, we’re in awe of his little personality.

Sam: Yes, we sure are. He’s very precious. 

Jim: And how is Miss Ellie? 

Joel: We have to have a get-to-gether soon. She’s talking like mad. Tonight I told her we were coming here and she said, “Kiss Jam for Ellie?” We were blown away. She’s a fast talker. The doctor said she’s the quickest one he’s ever seen. 

Connor: We just love her to death, and as much as I teased Jim about spoiling her, I think it’s made her well rounded. She knows she has tons of people that love her. We’re very happy with our family. 

Jim: Sully have you any ideas for baby names yet? 

Sully: We just decided last night. We like Monique Michelle for a girl and Christian Sullivan for a boy. What do you think of those two? 

Sam: Oh Sully, I love Monique. It’ll go so well with Simone. And Christian has always been a favorite name of mine. Good job, kids. 

Rafe: I love both, Simon and Sully. 

Brown: They’re just beautiful. 

Joel: I couldn’t agree more. 

Connor: I Love them too. 

Sully: I’m so glad. We weren’t sure. 

Jim: You did a wonderful job. They’re beautiful names. 

Simon: Thanks everyone. 

Jim: All right, Joel and Connor. You’re up. Names? 

Connor: Okay, we need some help or we might wait to choose at the end. For a girl it’s going to be Natalie Shae or Mallory Rayne. Jim would you mind if we used Rayne for a middle name?

Jim: Not at all. I love it with Natalie or Mallory. 

Connor: You go ahead and tell them the boy’s names. 

Joel: Okay, for a boy, it’ll be Lucas Connor or Logan Connor. What do you think? 

Jim: I love both. I would be happy with either. 

Simon: They’re all beautiful. 

Sully: Good job, kids. (Giggles)

Rafe: I love Logan the best. But would take Lucas in a pinch. 

Brown: Same here. 

Simon: Well I think I like Logan best too. 

Joel: I do, but Meggie likes Lucas, so we’re keeping it open. 

Simon: So we gonna do this survey or what?

 

Connor: Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.

Jim: (roars with laughter.) Thank you all for being my friends. This is what I needed tonight. It was a pity party going on at my house. 

Sully: Honey, you deserve to do that now and then. 

Jim: Not when you have babies. 

Simon: I like this bumper sticker too, Jim. 

Rafe: Me too. 

Brown: Me three. 

Dan: Me four. 

Sam: Me five. 

Simon: Sully if you say me six, I’m going to spank your bottom. 

Sully: Me six. (Wearing a big smile.)

Simon pulled her across his knee and gave her a short, soft spanking. “Now I hope you learned your lesson.”

Sully: Do it some more. 

Simon: Sully, not now. 

She spread her legs apart and Simon found himself wanting to put his hand into her hot, moist cunt, he could touch her a few times and she would wiggle all over the place. He then pulled her up and kissed her and said, “When we get home.”

Sully: Shit. I’m all wet and ready. God, I’m wet. Anyone want to feel?

Simon: Sully knock it off. 

Sully: Sorry everyone. I’m going through a phase where I can’t get it enough. 

Simon: Why don’t you just tell them how many times we do it a night, Sully? 

Sully: At least twice. Sometimes three. And once in the morning before work. 

Jim: So that’s why you’re always smiling lately. 

Simon: Could be. 

Dan: So Sam, when do you start that? 

Sam: You better watch it or you won’t get any. 

Rafe: Thankfully, we haven’t lost anything. We fuck each other every chance we get. 

Brown: We sure do and then some. 

Jim: Some day, I’m going to have a sex life again. (Laughing.)

Simon: God, Jim, we’re sorry. 

Jim: No, it’s all right. The therapist I’m seeing is really good. I feel better about everything. If Blair never wanted to come back, I’d be all right with that. I don’t want it, but I could handle it. 

Sam: You do sound stronger. 

Joel: Speak of the devil. Look whose here?

Everyone turned around and saw Blair standing there shyly, not knowing if he was still welcome. 

They all got up and kissed and hugged him. Except for Jim. Jim was going to wait and see what Blair wanted. 

Blair sat next to Jim and said, “Hey man.”

Jim: Hey yourself. Ready to finish up this survey?

Blair: Sure. 

Simon: Connor, are we done?

 

Connor: My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her  
...or something like that. 

Blair: I love this. 

Jim: Me too. Connor, I want this for a shirt. 

Connor: I made a note, Jim.

Joel: Do I do this to you honey?

Connor: No, this is a riot. 

Joel: Oh thank god. 

Rafe: I do it to Henri sometimes. 

Brown: He does. But I point it out to him and he fixes it post haste. 

Dan: I think it’s too funny. 

Sam: And I think it’s just funny enough. 

Dan: Smart-ass. 

Sully: I love this one too. I’d put it on a plaque in my kitchen. 

Simon: You got it baby. Oh my goodness, we get to move on. 

 

Connor: Sure you can trust the government!  
Just ask an Indian! 

 

Dan: Ain’t that the truth? (Laughing) 

Sam: I agree, funny, but sad at the same time. 

Jim: I agree, Sam. 

Blair: I don’t think any of us can trust them. 

Joel: I agree with Blair. 

Simon: I think I do too. 

Sully: I can’t stand it anymore. Blair honey, how are you?

Blair: I’m doing really well. I just missed all of you and thought I would stop by to say hello. 

Sam: Are you going back home?

Blair: I’m not sure.

Jim: Take your time, Chief. 

Blair: Can I call you now and then?

Jim: You can call me anytime you want. 

Blair: Okay. Thanks. 

Simon: Are you coming back to work anytime soon?

Blair: Yeah. I have my paperwork right now. I’m going to start back next week. 

Connor: But you’re not moving home?

Blair: Megan, I’m not ready for Jim. 

Jim: No problem. Just take your time. 

Anyone with a lick of sense could see Jim was hurting big time. 

Rafe: Want to see a picture of our babies?

Blair: Not tonight. 

Jim realized then that Blair was pulling away from his life with a family. Now he’d have to move on alone. Sadness wanted to overwhelm him, but he knew he had to be strong. 

Jim: Connor, we got any more of those bumper stickers?

 

Connor: Alcohol and calculus don't mix.  
Never drink and derive.

 

Jim: (Falls out of his chair laughing.) I love this one. It’s great. 

Blair: It is good. Jim, why are you in such a good mood?

Jim: Chief, I want you to be happy. 

Joel: I think this is funny too. 

Simon: Me also. 

Sully: that sounded like a name or something Mealso. The way you said it. It was cute. And I think we need this plaque for over the bar. 

Sam: I think you do too, Sully. It’s a riot. 

Dan: I like it too. 

Rafe: It made me laugh. 

Brown: Made me want and go learn calculus. 

Everyone started to laugh. 

Simon: OH look Connor! A lull in the action. 

 

Connor: Stop repeat offenders.  
Don't re-elect them!

 

Everyone burst out laughing and could hardly catch their breath. 

Simon: This is so true it’s scary. 

Sully: Boy you can say that again. 

Simon: This is so true it’s scary. 

Sully: Shut up, big boy. 

Sam: I agree with both of Simon’s comments. (Laughing)

Dan: I do too. 

Rafe: Who could disagree with it? 

Brown: Wait a minute. This would include our own Police Commissioner. Are you saying he could be corrupt? 

Rafe: DUH!!!!!

Jim: Oh say it ain’t so. 

Blair: I’ve always said this. 

Rafe: And you were always right, Hairboy. Rafe reached over and messed his hair up. 

Connor: Okay, that’s it for tonight. Hopefully we’ll meet again next week. I’ve got about 20 things going, but I’m going to try. 

Jim: You better. 

Everyone got up and started to leave. Once they were all in the parking lot, they kissed and hugged Blair. And then they all took off. 

“It was great seeing you again, Chief.” Jim smiled at him. 

“Are you dating someone?”

“Yeah, right. I don’t want to date anyone, Blair.”

“I’m trying to read your vibes. They’re saying you don’t care if I come home or not.”

“Jesus. I care. I just don’t want to put pressure on you. I love you.” Jim wanted to hold him so badly it hurt. 

“Well I better go. See you soon. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Night Chief. Can I kiss you goodnight?” Jim asked sweetly. 

“I’d like that.”

Jim leaned down and kissed Blair so softly that it brought tears to Blair’s eyes. 

“That felt nice, Jim.”

“Good. Drive careful and remember that I’ll always love you.”

It took everything in Jim’s being to get out of that parking lot without breaking down. He missed Blair so much. He wanted him so much. He needed him so much. Once he was on the road he began to grieve for the man that used to be. Actually for both of the men that used to be. 

 

Linda was happy to see him when he arrived. “Everything went well. No worries.”

Jim kissed her cheek and said, “You need to stop hanging with Megan.”

“Are you kidding? She’s my best friend.” Linda laughed as Jim walked her over to her house. Thankfully it was close, so he didn’t have to leave the children for more than a moment. 

Jim thanked her again and headed back to the house. He kissed each of his little ones and walked into the bedroom. He really was horny. But after seeing Blair, he didn’t want his hand. He wanted someone real. 

Maybe he would start dating. Jim Ellison was confused and had no one to discuss it with. No one he wanted to anyway. That’s what happens when you sleep with your best friend.

He was lying there berating himself when he heard a key in the door. He listened and knew it was Blair. He watched him come into the bedroom. The young man stood there awkwardly trying not to move too much. Then he started taking his clothes off. 

While Blair was disrobing, he had his eye on his naked lover. He had almost forgotten how gorgeous Jim looked in the moonlight. And that cock was beautiful anytime. 

Once he was naked, he crawled on the bed and said, “You have to make the moves Jim. You were pushing me away by not doing anything.”

Jim pulled Blair close to him and began to kiss him. Then he began to kiss him harder. “God, I missed you so much, baby. I love you. I need you.”

“I’m right here. You have to do it Jim.”

Jim went down on his lover and gagged. It had been a while since He had done this. Blair petted his hair while he tried it once again. Before long Blair was shoving himself further into Jim’s mouth and he came with a howl. 

“Chief, can I fuck you?”

“Yes, I want you to.”

Jim got him all ready and began to slide in slowly. He wasn’t going to hurt Blair for anything. As he pushed further in, he began to talk sweetly to Blair. “You feel wonderful. I’ve missed this babe. I needed you so much. God, I need to feel you like this all the time.” Jim stopped moving suddenly and asked, “Are you staying with me?”

“Yes.”

Jim then began to fuck with intense thrusts. Blair was right on the edge again and Jim pumped his cock a few times, making the young man come, causing one older Sentinel scream like a banshee. 

They got up and took a shower, talked some more and then went to bed. Blair curled into Jim’s arms and slept that way all night long. He seemed to be happy and content. Jim hoped so. 

In the morning Jade came in as always to see if the fairy came and found her Poppy there. She snuggled with him and when Jim woke up both of the kids were snuggled in between them. Jim had missed this so much. He hoped to god, nothing would change it. 

Nothing ever seems to be simple with life, but all you can do is work at it and hope that things will get better. Jim had done this and by god, they did get better. 

And don’t forget, therapy is wonderful. With it, you can go on. Without it, you can die slowly. I chose the living part and have never looked back. Thankfully, the boys have too. 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 60  
Baby, Baby, Who Wants a Baby?

Thank you for reading. Come again soon. 

Tune in next week:

Connor will find out that when she had been pregnant and had the miscarriage, she wasn’t only carrying one child. She had triplets. So, she’ll be having twins also. (This really happens.) Oh, and her due date won’t be that far off, because she had been pregnant long before everyone else. 

Jim and Blair will continue to do well. There will be some time with the kids that will be fun. 

 

Blair is going to take the kids on a field trip for a day and they’ll come home telling everyone that he’s the coolest dad around. J 

Then there will be a Sullivan’s Pub Survey. And I’ve got the ammo and everything. Get set for it. I’ll start next week. 

 

 

  


	61. Do You REmember Saying Any of These Quotes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember saying any of these things? It’s funny what the gang remembers and doesn’t. Mostly fun tonight.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 61  
Do You Remember Saying Any Of These Quotes?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 06/22/03  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: Last night I was finally able to buy the rights to our guys. So now you all have to ask me. I’ll share, don’t you worry. It’s great to be rich. Oh shit, is that the time. I’m ten minutes late for my Liar’s Anonymous meeting.   
Summary: Do you remember saying any of these things? It’s funny what the gang remembers and doesn’t. Mostly fun tonight.   
Warnings: m/m 

Warnings: m/m angst/angst/and more angst Just kidding. There is little angst. It’s mostly silly fun. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 61  
Do You Remember Saying Any Of These Quotes?  
Patt

Jim was lounging on his sofa, drinking a bottle of water, watching some silly talk show when the front door flew open and Connor rushed in. 

“You are never going to believe this, Jim.” Megan panted. 

Jim looked over her shoulder and said, “Is that you Connor? Come on in.”

“Very funny, goofball. Now do you want to hear my news or not?” She expected him to be somewhat more excited. 

“Sit. Spill. Not my water, your news.” Jim smiled at her again. 

“Oh my god, you fucked Sandy didn’t you?” Megan hugged Jim to her and held him tight. “How long?”

“About a month now. He just moved back in last night.” Jim answered. 

“This is the best news I’ve ever heard, Jim. I’m so happy for you. And he’s doing so well at work, so I take it it’s well here too.”

“He’s happy, yes. And we’re in love. God, I love him so much.” Now it was Jim that was hugging Megan as tight as could be. 

They both just sat there holding each other and Jim pulled back and asked, “So what’s your news?”

“I had my doctor’s appointment today. Joel had to go to court, so he doesn’t know yet. Anyway he did an ultrasound and he said, I must have been carrying more than one when I miscarried eight months ago. So while he’s doing the ultrasound he says, ‘well you have a little boy here. Does your husband want a little boy?’ And I told him we just wanted him to be healthy. Then we both saw the other baby. I have two in there, Jim. Two precious babies.” She started to cry, but Jim knew it wasn’t because she was upset. 

“The doctor thinks I didn’t miscarry at all. It was a mistake.” Megan beamed with happiness. 

“But Connor, you’re not big enough to be having twins.”

Connor laughed and said, “Its all in what you wear. Let me show you. She stripped down to practically nothing and had a pretty good-sized belly and her breasts were very large. Jim put his face against her naked belly and listened to her two babies and pulled her closer. “You’re right. I never would have guessed about your belly. What have you been saying to Joel?”

“I didn’t have to say anything because I’ve been blowing him a lot instead. Told him I wasn’t in the mood and so on. He hasn’t seen me naked in two months, easily. He will now.” She got dressed and sat back down next to Jim. 

“Did he tell you what the other baby is?”

“No, Andrew was in the way.” Megan smiled over at her friend. 

“I thought it was Logan or Lucas?” Jim wondered aloud. 

“While I was sitting in the waiting room, a little boy named Andrew came by and it just seemed perfect. Andrew Taggert sounds so pretty and I love Andy. When he gets older he can go by Drew. So what do you think?”

“You want my honest opinion? I was starting to call him Logan in my mind, so Andy is kind of a let down. I’m sorry.” Jim patted her back. 

“Okay, I’m easy. Back to Logan Connor. How is that?”

“It’s great. But see what the big man says about it too.” Jim laughed. “Have you decided on the girl name?”

“We don’t know what the other baby is yet. The doctor couldn’t get a good look at the baby because of the way it was lying behind Logan. Do you know?” Connor began to almost bounce. 

“I can guess. I’d say it’s a little Mallory Rayne. Malley for short, eh?” Jim smiled over at his friend and saw her eyes filled with tears. 

“I have to go Jim. I need to tell Joel. Thank you for being such a good friend.” They kissed and she was gone. 

Jim lounged on the sofa again and sighed with contentment. Life was good. Now if someone was here to make him a sandwich he’d be in heaven. 

“Hey hot shot. I came home to bring you some lunch.” Blair walked in the door and Jim gave him a smile that made Blair instantly hard. 

“I was just thinking about lunch. Both kinds. Can I have you too?” Jim stood up and Blair could see his erection was about to bust out of his jeans. 

Blair took his clothes off and Jim still had his jeans on. Jim stayed on the sofa and opened up his mouth. Blair filled that mouth up with his rock solid cock. Jim started to suck like he had never sucked him before. Blair was having a hard time catching his breath as he kept pushing his cock in further and further. Every time his slit would touch the back of Jim’s throat, he would almost come. 

“Jim, you suck me better than anyone could. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Suck me baby. Suck me.” Blair was chanting and panting and Jim started to hum. Blair came explosively into Jim’s mouth screaming his name. 

“Holy shit, Jim. What are you trying to do to me?” Blair kissed Jim and checked to be sure that he was all right. 

“I love you so much. I love you.” Jim just held on to him and Blair noticed Jim’s cock was no longer hard. 

“Is something wrong, Jim? Did I do something?”

“No, not at all. God, I love you. And you’re perfect. I just came in my pants. Not just anyone can make me come in my jeans, baby. I want to taste you now.” Jim began to lick, suck and bite Blair all over his body and before long Blair was once again hard as a rock. 

“No one makes you come but me. Understood?” Blair made sure that Jim was paying attention. 

“Understood. Now I have to lick and suck on my favorite person.” Jim went back to business and finally when Blair was close, he asked Jim, “Can I fuck you?”

“Oh yeah. Come on.” Jim drug Blair into the bedroom and Jim was undressed in record time and found the lube and threw it at Blair. 

“Someone really wants this. All right. This is what I want to see. A bottom boy slut that belongs to only me.” Blair got him ready and slid into Jim’s tight hole. Both men moaned with satisfaction and Blair began to hammer into Jim letting him know who he belonged to. 

Blair looked over at the time and stopped fucking Jim. “I have to call Simon really fast.”

He hit the speed dial and heard, “Banks.”

“Simon, something came up, and I’ll need another half hour. Is that good?” 

// You’re back with Jim aren’t you? Fuck him senseless and be back in an hour. //

“Thanks, sir. See you in an hour.” Blair went back to kissing and Jim asked, “What did he say?”

“He told me to fuck you senseless. Now do you mind if I do that?” Blair began to get into Jim big time. 

Blair didn’t have to touch Jim’s cock. He came without any external stimulation at all. After about four more thrusts, Blair came howling Jim’s name. 

“What did you bring for lunch?” Jim asked kissing his man. 

“Sandwiches. The kind you like.” Blair kissed some more and Jim said, “We keep this up and you’ll never get back to work.”

“This would be a bad thing?” Blair teased. 

“I think there’s a Sullivan’s Pub tonight. Would you find out?” Jim asked. 

“Will do big man, let’s clean up and eat lunch.” And that’s just what they did. 

That night Jim was finishing up the final touches on their evening meal when the door flew open and Jade came in screaming. “Daddy. Daddy. This man hit Poppy.” 

Jim ran out to the SUV and could see the black eye started already. “All right, what did you do?”

“This man picking up his kid said our Jadey is a pervert. I told him she wasn’t and for him to shut his mouth. And he proceeded to slug me while I wasn’t looking. But don’t worry Daddy. I got in numerous punches after that.” Blair was pissed. 

“Come on. Get in the house and jump in the shower.” Jim pushed him that way and Jim grabbed Rayney and Drake and headed for the house. 

“Drake, will you watch Rayne while I check on Poppy?” Jim tried to keep his voice calm.

“I’ll go and check on him.” Jade started for the bathroom. 

“No, Jade. I want to do it honey. You help Drake.” Jim walked away and hoped Blair wasn’t too beat up. 

When he walked in he was surprised. He wasn’t bruised anywhere but that black eye. “Bruiser, how come you only got one bruise?”

“Because I have a lover that has taught me fantastic self-defense. This guy was huge and couldn’t believe I was taking him down.” Blair laughed and that calmed Jim down some. “I love to watch the look on their faces when a short shit takes them out of the game.”

“You’re evil, Detective Sandburg. But a good kind of evil. I’m glad you’re all right. I love you. It scared me.”

“I love you too. He thinks Jade is a perv because she calls body parts by their name. He said, “No child that is five should know what a cunt is really called.” 

“You’re kidding?” Jim was appalled. 

“And Jade stood there and said, “What’s a cunt Poppy?”

The principal was there and he took down all of the information and there might be a meeting next week. They would like me to talk to the kids about names for body parts. I told them I would. It would be good for all of them.” Blair was pumped up about it. 

“I’m going to feed the kids. You just relax and take a soak in the tub.” Jim started out the door. Blair grabbed him and said, “Jim, I’m fine. He didn’t hit me other than my face. I want to eat with my family. So wait for me.” Blair pushed Jim out of the bathroom so he went in to get things going for dinner. 

“Who wants to set the table?” Jim called out. 

Drake smiled and said, “I think Rayney does.”

“Very funny. For that it’s your job tonight.” Jim tickled him as he came by. 

Jade looked up at Jim and asked, “Will you always love us?”

“Oh yeah. I’ll love you until the day I die.” And as soon as the words were out, he wished he hadn’t have said them. Jade started sobbing. 

“Please don’t die Daddy. Please?”

“Honey, I’m sorry. I meant to say, I’ll love you until the cows come home.” Jim tried that. 

Drake said, “But we don’t got no cows, Daddy.”

“So they won’t be coming home, Drake.”

“Wow, he will love us for a long time.” Drake hugged him and so did Jade. 

He got them all at the table and Blair joined them. As they ate, the kids told them all about their exciting day at school. Drake was all thrilled because he had his first real batch of homework. Jim asked if he had heard the news about Connor and Joel. 

“No, fill me in.”

“I will while I do the dishes.”

“Doesn’t Poppy have Daddy trained well?” Blair asked the children. 

“Yes, he’s a good Daddy.” Jade said with a big smile on her face. 

“Poppy, did you hear about my homework?” 

“Poppy, can you do the homework with Drake after dinner. I’ll do dishes and then I’ll give baths to Rayne and Jade.” Jim smiled at him. 

“Sounds like a fair deal. Drake run and get your work and we’ll get started.” 

Jim cleared the table, washed it off and then loaded the dishwasher with Jade and Rayne’s help. Then he was off to get them in the tub. 

“Daddy, Rayney doesn’t care if she has a penis does she?” Jade asked. 

“No, she doesn’t.”

“I wonder if she will when she gets bigger.”

“I hope not.” Jim thought one worrying about penises was enough. 

He got the girls out, dried off, dressed and took them in for kisses from Poppy. After 20 minutes of goofing off with Poppy, they finally went to bed. Drake took a bath next. Blair got him all dried off and dressed and Linda showed up for their night out.

“Hey Linda.”

“Hey honey. How are you doing?” She asked Jim. 

“Great. We’re going out. We have the best Nanny in the world and I’m happy.”

“Well good. I’m glad to hear it.” Linda kissed his cheek and then Blair’s. “Get out of here you two.”

The boys were humming with excitement. They loved their children, but they loved going out too. As always they were last to get there. 

After everyone talked for about an hour, Connor said, “Jim, I told everyone about the babies.”

“Ain’t it cool?” Jim asked. 

“Joel what do you think of the name Andrew?” Jim asked. 

“I don’t like it. I like Logan. So we’re going with Logan Connor for our little boy and Natalie Christine for our little girl. Christine was my Mom’s name. And Meggie told me she didn’t mind using it for Natalie’s middle name.” Joel finally ran out of steam. 

“I love the name Christine, honey bear. What do you all think of our choices?” Megan asked nervously. 

Jim: I love them both. 

Blair: They’re beautiful. 

Brown: I love them. 

Rafe: I wish you would have consulted me. I used to have a girlfriend named Natalie. It might be uncomfortable. 

Connor: Oh god, we can think about Mallory again. 

Rafe: She’s so easy, Joel. 

Joel: That’s why she’s pregnant. 

Everyone laughs. 

Dan: I love both names. And Rafe did you like them? 

Rafe: Yup. Loved em. 

Sam: I adore both names. 

Sully: They’re just wonderful. Meg, you couldn’t have done a better job. Well you too Joel. 

Simon: Can we call her Natty?

Connor: Joel already asked and yes. It’s cute. 

Jim: No nickname for Logan, though. 

Joel: We didn’t think of that, sugar. 

Connor: Well shit. Let me run out to the SUV and get our list again. You can help me choose everyone. 

Jim: Why is she so nervous about choosing the name right now?

Joel: The doctor called with the rest of the tests. We’re further along than we thought. He told us to get things ready. 

Connor came rushing in and said, “I’ve got it. Joel it’s the name you wanted from the beginning. It’ll be perfect.”

“Mason?” Joel asked. 

“Yes. Masey would be a cute nickname, right?” Connor asked. 

“I love it.” Jim hugged them both. “So it’s Natty and Masey. Way cool.”

They all talked for a little while longer and then Jim asked, “Sully any changes in your name?”

“Not since I got married, honey.”

“Smart ass.” Jim laughed. 

“The doctor said it’s a boy. So it’ll be Christian Sullivan Banks. What do you think?”

“Are we allowed to call him Chrissy?” Blair asked. 

“No.” Simon shouted. 

“Okay, so there will be one child that doesn’t get a nickname. They won’t feel left out or anything.” Rafe grumbled. 

Simon looked at Sully and asked, “Can we change the name. I don’t want them calling our baby Chrissy.”

“Yes, we can change it.” Sully smiled at him. 

“Simon, do you have a favorite brother that you would like to use a name from? Or your dad?” Blair asked. 

“Matthew was my Dad. I would love to use that. What do you think, Sully?”

“I think Matthew Sullivan sounds fantastic. And Matty is cute. I love you Simon.” Sully kissed him softly. 

Jim asked Dan and Sam, “So how about your names? We got any yet?”

Dan: Yeah, we do. They’re girls, so we’re going with Shanay and Yancy. What do you think?

Sam: Well you have to put them with the other names, silly man. Yancy Danielle Sullivan Wolfe and Shanay Danielle Sullivan Wolfe. Now what do you think? 

Jim: So can we call them Yanny and Shanny?

Blair: He’s serious. He’s big on the nicknames. 

Sam: Oh man, we have to change these names. Okay, Yancy is now Dakota. That was our fall back name. What do you think of that? 

Blair: Let’s see. Dakota Danielle Sullivan Wolfe. I love it. We can call her Koty. 

Connor: I love them both, you guys. They’re great names. How much longer before you get to use them. 

Dan: Three months.

Joel: That’s soon. 

Sam: Well thanks to Jim and Blair for getting us the house, we’ve got tons of room. Thank you again. 

Jim: Who cares about that? Rafe and Brown, how is your baby boy?

Rafe: (Beaming) He’s great. Lancy still adores him, which is good. He’s such a good baby. He reminds me of Rayney. So sweet and happy. 

Blair: Maybe they’ll get married when they grow up and go to college.

Rafe: No. Our kids are never getting married. 

Jim: Why?

Rafe: Because. They’re like cousins. It’s sick. 

Brown: It isn’t sick at all. God, you’re so weird, Bri. 

Rafe: Would you kiss your cousins?

Brown: No, but these kids aren’t really cousins. 

Simon: Why don’t we worry about it in a few years, guys? (Laughing)

“Whose ready for a survey?” Connor shouted. 

Everyone: We are.

 

Connor: Tonight is all about Dating Quotes. Here we go. Do you think these are true? More true than you’d like to believe? Or bullshit? 

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again. -- Susan Healy

 

Jim: Not true. We cook for ourselves. 

Blair: But don’t you prefer to have me do it for you? Cuz I prefer you to do it for me. 

Jim: Okay, maybe it’s true then. 

Sully: I think so too. 

Simon: I would not go on a date just so I could eat. 

Sully: Excuse me you did that very thing with me. 

Simon: Oh yeah. (Laughing)

Rafe: Don’t you hate when the wives are right? 

Brown: You calling me a wife?

Rafe: Baby, you’re never right. 

Brown: Okay then. I just had to be sure. 

Sam: I would love Dan to take me out for every meal. 

Dan: Honey, I do. 

Sam: And I love it. 

Joel: I love to eat and I would prefer if Meggie cooks it. I know, that’s crappy, but that’s how I feel. She cooks like no other. 

Jim: Actually, that’s pretty nice Joel. 

Joel: You think?

Jim: Not really, I just don’t want her to be pissed at you. 

Everyone laughs. 

Simon: We could move on, couldn’t we?

 

Connor: Never date a woman whose father calls her 'Princess.' Chances are she believes it. -- Anonymous

 

Rafe: Naomi calls Sandburg Princess. And look what a pain in the ass he is. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Brown: It’s good to see the two of you getting along so well. 

Blair: We’re doing it for you, Princess. 

Brown: Oh fuck you, Sandburg. 

Jim: Not on your life, now take it back. 

Blair: Jim, they were kidding. 

Brown: Yeah, what he said. 

Joel: Well I call Miss Ellie Princess or Queen For a Day. So I think she’s going to be trouble. 

Jim: She will not. She’s an angel I tell you. 

Blair: But Jim thinks all of the little darlings are angels. 

Jim: They are. We’re so blessed. All of us. We need to stop now and then and thank someone for giving them to us. I know I’m grateful.

Sully: I couldn’t agree with Jim more. 

Simon: I agree also. 

Joel: We’re blessed with our angel. And we thank Jim every day of the week. 

Jim: It wasn’t me. It was someone upstairs. (Jim smiled at them with love.)

Blair: I know that we’re grateful for our beautiful children. They’re everything we ever wanted. 

Dan: Tristan is a pure angel. And we’re blessed, so we figure the twins will give us a run for our money, since Trissy has been so good. 

Simon: I just realized, Christian and Tristan sound a lot a like. Thank god, you all pointed that out to us. 

Sully: That’s true, honey. And I like the new idea anyhow. Matthew is a gorgeous name. 

Simon: I think we could have a new one.

 

Connor: One good thing about Internet dating: you're guaranteed to click with whomever you meet. -- Unknown.

 

Joel: Does anyone here know anyone that does the cyber chatting online?

Jim: I don’t. 

Blair: I do. 

Jim: Who?

Blair: Well I can’t tell you. She would die of embarrassment. 

Jim: How do you know her?

Blair: She’s a cop. 

Simon: She’s a cop at our station?

Joel: Who cares? Does anyone know of anyone else? 

Simon: Yeah, Rhonda does. 

Sully: Two guys that work here hang out in the chat rooms all the time. 

Dan: Two guys in my department go online a lot while they’re working. I’ve had to write them up for it, twice. 

Sully: Good for you. They shouldn’t hang out in those rooms anyhow. 

Dan: NO, I disagree. I don’t care what they do on their own time, but in my department, I want them working.

Sam: He’s good at what he does. Oh, and work too. 

Dan: (Blushes) Sam, you’re going to get it big time.

Sam: Danny, it’s always big time with you. 

Simon: All right. Enough is enough. 

Sam: You’re just jealous. 

Sully: No he’s not. (Laughing)

Simon: Are we doing a survey or what?

 

Connor: I only date stewards or stewardesses. Or maybe it just seems that way. Women or men always seem to be showing me the exits. -- Scott Roeben

 

Rafe: This used to be me. 

Brown: Really? 

Rafe: No one wanted to keep me until you came along, babe. 

Jim: Don’t go getting mushy on us, Rafe. 

Blair: It sounds like I used to be also. 

Jim: Same here. 

Joel: This is a sad one isn’t it? (Looking seriously sad.)

Simon: Are we having fun yet, Connor? And yes, this was me until I met my precious wife. 

Sully: I think this probably sounds like all of us. I know it does me. 

Sam: Same here. 

Dan: And I couldn’t agree more. I’m so glad we don’t have to worry about that anymore. 

Simon: We can move, Connor. 

 

Connor: I've been on so many blind dates; I should get a free dog. -- Wendy Leibman

Jim: (Falls out of chair and lands on floor, while laughing his butt off.) Okay, I hate blind dates. The only one I ever saw work, was Sam and Dan. 

Sam: Thank you, Jim. We like to think we work well together. 

Dan: That’s what she was telling me last night. 

Simon: Oh geeze, you all have ruined Dan. He used to never say things like that. I hate blind dates too. Now it’s because Sully gets pissed off. (Laughs his fool head off. Keyword being fool.)

Sully: You’re in for it and not something good. 

Simon: Shit, I get in trouble almost every week. 

Blair: Learn to keep your mouth shut then.

Simon: Sandburg, you have no room to talk. 

Blair: About what? 

Simon: About getting in trouble every week. You’re always in trouble. 

Blair: Jim, am I in trouble tonight?

Jim: Nope. 

Simon: Fuck you. You two are always fighting. 

Jim: Simon I think you’re confused. 

Dan: I think he is too. 

Joel: I know he is. (Laughing)

Simon: Fuck you all. Sully, can I have a kiss?

Sully: Yes sweet baby, you can. (They kiss and everyone goes, AHHHHHH.)

 

Connor: Lots of women just go out with me to further their careers - damn anthropologists. -- Emo Philips.

Blair: (Falls out of his chair this time.) This is so true. We’re always studying people and their mating habits. 

Jim: You used to watch people mate?

Blair: I still do. 

Jim: You’re kidding, right?

Blair: Why do you think I needed those binoculars?

Jim: Shit…

Simon: Knock it off Sandburg. 

Sully: He’s joking. God, you and Jim are so fucking easy. 

Simon: Honey you should watch your language while carrying the babies. They hear everything. 

Sully: Well then why don’t they hear me when I tell them to come out?

Sam: How true, Sis. 

Joel: You girls are on a roll tonight. 

Rafe: That quote sounded just like Sandburg. 

Jim: It did not. 

Rafe: It did too. 

Jim: It didn’t. 

Rafe: I’m telling ya, it was him. 

Jim: I hate you.

Rafe: Oh shit and fall back in it, Ellison. 

Brown: Wow, isn’t this fun everyone?

Simon: I’m having fun as long as it’s not me getting yelled at. We could probably move on?

Dan: Wait, I have something to say. I think it sounds like Blair too. Just because he loves to study everyone. Not for a nasty reason. 

Sam: I agree. 

Simon: Are we done with this one?

 

Connor: I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. -- Garry Shandling

Everyone laughs and has a hard time catching their breath. 

Jim: Connor, this one is the best one yet. 

Blair: So would you do that?

Jim: Would I do what?

Blair: Talk a homeless woman into a date, so she could sleep over?

Jim: Hardly Blair. 

Sully: Can’t you just see Jim trying to kiss someone that hasn’t brushed his or her teeth in a month? 

Everyone laughs. 

Jim: Sully, you’d love to kiss someone that hadn’t?

Sully: No, I wouldn’t. But it was more fun making fun of you. 

Rafe: I know I wouldn’t. 

Brown: Bri doesn’t even like to talk to them on the street. 

Rafe: They’re dirty, H. 

Simon: That’s why they’re homeless. No, backwards. They’re dirty because they have nowhere to clean up. It must be awful. 

Sully: I agree. I’m getting depressed. 

Simon: Let’s move on, we don’t want my baby depressed. 

Sully: Shut up, Simon. 

 

Connor: Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? -- Rita Rudner

Sully: I love her humor, but this is something I’ve never thought about. 

Sam: Never?

Sully: Nope. I feel pretty secure with my baby. 

Simon: Pretty secure? Is something wrong, Sully? 

Sully: Just having fat belly blues. Don’t mind me. I’d love you to just fuck my brains out right now. But I know I’m not very appealing anymore. 

Simon: Come here baby. 

They all smiled as Simon pulled her panties off and unzipped his fly. After pulling his cock out she slid down on it and he started fucking her slow and easy. 

Blair looked at everyone and saw how turned on they were and smiled. “I’m going to start wearing a fucking skirt. Then Jim can fuck me any time he wants to.” Blair laughed along with everyone else. 

Simon picked up the pace with Sully, because he wanted her to come too. She came whispering his name into his mouth and he shot his load into her. 

Dan looked at Sam and she took off her panties and slid over Dan, skirt covering everything and began to fuck Dan senseless. They weren’t going slow and easy. They were going fast, hard and almost done. Both of them came loudly making everyone laugh at the table. 

Connor: Since the doctor told me no sex until they check me again, I don’t want anyone else doing it.

Everyone burst out laughing and called her a brat. 

 

Connor: You Know You've Been Out Of University Too Long When... 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep 

 

Jim: Boy that’s true. 

Blair: Tell me about it. 

Joel: I hate getting up sometimes. In the morning. I don’t mind getting up for Meggie at all. 

Simon: Geeze, could we get through one without a sexual remark? 

Sully: This is coming from the man who just fucked his wife in front of his friends. 

Simon: They couldn’t see anything. 

Jim: I saw everything and it was mighty fine, Simon. 

Simon: I’m never going to live this down. 

Sam: Things could be worse; you could be getting up at 6:00 a.m.

Simon: I do get up at six. 

Sam: Sorry, then I was wrong. (Howling at the look on Simon’s face.)

Simon: Move this along, Connor. 

 

Connor: Having sex in a single bed is absurd. 

Connor: Why would you? 

Joel: Remember last week when we couldn’t make it any further than Ellie’s little twin bed? I didn’t hear you complaining then. 

Sully: Oh that’s so cute. Was it fun, Meg? 

Connor: Thanks a lot Joel. Yes, it was fun. I had forgotten and now I’m horny again.

Jim: Well you know you can do things other than intercourse.

Connor: Not right here. 

Jim: Yes, right here. 

Joel pulled her onto his lap and began to kiss her as he slid his hands into her panties and fingered her clit. She was moaning like mad and ready to come. Joel slowed down so that he could make this last for her and rubbed her belly. 

“No, baby. Make me come. Let me come.” She begged. 

So Joel did just that. He began to rub her until she cried out his name in ecstasy. Joel then held her and told her how much he loved her. 

“What about you big guy?” Megan smiled at him. 

“I’ll wait until later. Don’t worry.” Joel looked very uncomfortable. “I’ll be fine.”

Simon: Are we going to do this damn survey or just have sex all night long?

Blair: Wait a minute. What are you bitching for? You’re one of the couples that got to have sex. Jim, Rafe, Brown and I are all hard as rocks. Come on guys, let’s go in the bathroom and take care of each other. 

Jim: No. I’ll wait till we get home. Knock it off, Chief.

Rafe: I’ll help.

Jim: You stay the fuck away from him. 

Rafe: I was joking, Ellison. Jesus. Calm down. 

Sam: Jim, don’t be so protective. You guys are doing just fine. 

Blair: Yeah, what she said. 

Jim kissed Blair and then held him for a moment. “I love you so much.”

“I know you do, Jim. And I love you too. Now relax and have fun.” Blair ordered. 

Dan: I’ve had sex in a single bed many times. 

Connor: Let’s not talk about sex or Joel will pop. 

Joel: Very funny. I have to run to the bathroom really fast. 

Jim: Need any help? (Laughing)

Joel: Jim, could I talk to you?

Jim: Sure. We’ll be right back. 

Jim followed Joel into the dreaded dirty restroom and Joel said, “I’m going to explode if I don’t come. I might need some help here. Can you do that?”

“Why didn’t you bring Connor?”

“Because I don’t want her overdoing. You going to help me or not?” Joel asked pleadingly. 

“What do I need to do?” Jim asked timidly. 

“You just stand there and look beautiful.” Joel said starting to laugh. 

“You asshole.” Jim stormed out of the restroom laughing too. 

“Well Jim’s laughing, that’s a good thing.” Simon said jokingly. 

“Joel’s going to get it when he least expects it. And Connor, I expect your help.” Jim shouted. 

“Fine. Can I help it if my hubby is naughty?”

“Did he embarrass you in there, Jim?” Dan asked smiling. 

“Yes. I had it coming. Damn it, I trusted him. Never trust Joel. He’s too fucking sweet.” Jim ranted. 

Blair was laughing and pulled Jim down onto his lap. Jim settled there and began to kiss him. “Chief, I could wear the skirt.”

Sam: All right, enough about skirts. I wouldn’t be able to watch all of your fine Asses. 

Dan: Sam, why are you watching their fine Asses? 

Sam: Because I enjoy the male form, honey. 

Dan: Okay, then. 

Joel came back to the table and sat down. “You be nice to Jim.” Connor scolded him. 

“Okay, baby. Sorry Jim.” Joel smiled at Jim in a way that Jim knew he wasn’t sorry at all. 

“You’ll think sorry. You just wait.” Jim laughed. 

Simon: Could we start again?

 

Connor: You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 

Blair: This would never be true. Jim and I have to have our beer. 

Jim: Yes, we do. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Jim: You have to have our beer? 

Rafe: Shut up. 

Brown: Don’t tell my pal to shut up. 

Jim: Thanks, Henri. 

Brown: Man, I thought he was talking to Sandburg. 

Jim: Both of you shut up. 

Dan: You four are just too cute. 

Sam: Just them? 

Dan: All of us, but I love to listen to the banter. 

Simon: You mean, that mockery that goes back and forth between them? 

Dan: Yes, that would be it. (Laughing) 

Simon: I love it too. 

Joel: I like when there is joking between the four also. 

Connor: Joking? I would call it repartee. (Giggling)

Sully: And I tend to think of it as jousting amongst the idiots. (Bursting out laughing.)

Jim: Hey, I’m one of those idiots. I’m offended. 

Sam: Well I really love the wit that has to shine between these men when they get into these little conversations. Divine wit, is what I call it. 

Blair: Sam, I like that. 

Simon: We could probably move on. 

Jim: No one discussed the damn topic but us. 

Simon: But you all were much more fun to discuss. 

 

Connor: Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all. 

All of the men fall on the floor laughing their Asses off. 

Jim: God, I remember when it seems that’s all I seemed to think about. 

Rafe: Seriously? While you were married to Carolyn? 

Jim: Yeah. 

Rafe: Did you ever tell her?

Jim: Do you think I’m insane? 

Brown: So if you had a fantasy about someone you wouldn’t tell Sandburg? 

Jim: No, it’s a fantasy. 

Blair: Wait a minute. I want to know if you’re having any good ones. 

Jim: Believe me, I’m not. 

Simon: I used to think about two women together all the time. God, that makes me hot. 

Sully: Made you hot, or makes you hot? 

Simon: Both. Sully, I love the idea of you with another woman too. So shoot me. 

Sully: don’t tempt me. 

Connor: Joel, do you feel the same way? 

Joel: Yes. 

Connor: I would do that for you. And if Sully wanted to do it with me, we could make both of you men happy. But it would have to be after I’m without this belly. 

Sully: We’ll think on it. 

Sam: Wait a minute. I want in on this. 

Connor: You can’t, you’re her sister. We don’t do sisters. 

Sam: Fuck that shit. We could take turns.

Dan: Honey, you’re making me way too hard here. 

Sam: Want me in your lap again, honey? 

Dan: Yeah. 

Jim: No. No more lap dancing. It’s not fair. 

Sam: Do you want me to sit on your lap first, Jim? 

Jim: No! I want us to get done so I can go home and fuck Sandburg silly. 

Blair: I love when he fucks me silly. He starts out really slow and he begins slowly stretching me, making me feel very joyful. We both moan from the joy and he moves on to sliding another finger in making me feel damn fucking cheerful. Again, we’re both moaning and enjoying the cheer. As he slides the next finger in he moans alone, making it even more fun and then I feel very pleased. I join in on the moaning and we both find it quite pleasing. Then he puts his beautiful cock next to my anus and begins to push in. I’m so tight that he has to tell me about it first and then I realize I’m feeling jolly. Whoa, he’s good. He’s just beginning and already making me jolly. He’s all the way in and starting to move, and a feeling is coming over me. I have to share it with him, but I don’t need to, because as I began to beg for his cock to go harder, he begins to moan louder. The two things make us feel merry. Jim then merry’s my ass as hard as he can, chanting Cheery Chief. Cheery Chief. Cheery Chief. And I do feel damn cheery. He’s really good at it. Jim’s getting close and he begins to make me feel another odd feeling as I come all over him. Contentment. I’m so fucking happy and content that I’ll always let him fuck me silly. And now don’t you all fill silly for listening to that damn story. 

Simon: Jesus, Sandburg, I’m hard as a rock. I’m going to make you do my paperwork for a week. 

Dan: I’m hard too. Shit. 

Rafe: Same here, damn good story telling, Sandburg. 

Brown: I want to know how you do that. You’ve got my man panting over here. 

Rafe: I pant for you. 

Brown: Not from me talking. 

Jim: It’s a gift he has. I couldn’t do it if I wanted to. 

Joel: I think we all could, we just don’t try. 

Rafe: You want me to try, H? 

Brown: Let’s work on it. 

Joel: Meggie, I’ll try harder too. 

Connor: I wasn’t complaining. 

Jim: We can all use some work, except Blair. If he got better, he would kill me. 

Simon: Are we done? 

 

Connor: You know all of the people sleeping in your house.  
Connor: Who ever did this? I mean did you ever let someone strange stay in your house over night?

Blair: Oh yeah. 

Jim: I’m so surprised. 

Rafe: I’ve done it too. 

Brown: Men or women? 

Rafe: Henri, you’re my first man, what do you think? 

Brown: Just checking. 

Joel: I used to have someone over now and then and didn’t know who he or she was. Jim, you’ve never taken anyone home from a bar and had them spend the night? 

Jim: Yeah, I’ve done that. 

Blair: Well what did you think we were talking about? 

Jim: I don’t know. 

Simon: I think we probably all have. 

Sully: I have. 

Sam: I have. 

Connor: I haven’t. 

Joel: What do you mean you haven’t? 

Connor: I was afraid to let anyone in my house. 

Joel: That’s good. 

Simon: So Jim did you ever go home with anyone after a bar? And were you married to Carolyn? 

Jim: Why the fuck are you asking that? 

Simon: Answer. 

Jim: Yes, I went home with a few girls after we were at a bar. 

Simon: Were you married? 

Jim: I was separated, does that count?

Joel: Was she still sleeping in your bed, Jim? 

Jim: What is so important about this? Drop it. 

Blair: You fucked around on Carolyn? 

Jim: Chief, we’ll talk about it later. 

Sully: I want to hear. I’m a wife. I want to hear what makes a man do this. Please? 

Jim: She wouldn’t let me touch her anymore. I hadn’t made love to anyone in six months and I was so lonely. 

Simon: Why not a divorce? 

Jim: Because I was hoping that we could work things out. She was the first person I ever loved. She meant the world to me. And she didn’t want me. 

Sam: Did you feel better after you fucked strangers? 

Jim: Worse. I loved her so much. (He put his head in his hands and everyone could see his shoulders shaking.)

Dan: Well I for one think you did all right, Jim. You loved her for longer than anyone else would have. You’re a good man. Sit up straight and smile. 

Jim wiped his face off and Blair kissed him and then he went into Blair’s arms for a little longer. 

Blair: Why was everyone picking on Jim? I want to know. 

Simon: Because Jim makes it seem like he’s above everything and I knew he wasn’t. He’s like the rest of us. Human. 

Jim: Yes, I am human. But I tried so hard, Simon. I wanted her to love me. I still love her. 

Blair: What?

Jim: That came out wrong. I just mean I’ll love her in my own way. 

Blair stood up and walked out of Sullivan’s Pub. 

“Jim, you better go get him.” Simon shouted. 

Blair walked back into the room and said, “Do you love Carolyn like me?”

Jim let out a bark of laughter and said, “Not even close, baby.”

“Good, that’s all I need. No more fighting. Okay?”

“I love you, Chief.”

“And I love you. Connor, we got any more of these?”

Simon: Geeze Sandburg is all-sweet to Jim and he takes over my job. 

 

Connor: Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.

Joel: Were they ever? Not with me. 

Jim: Same here. 

Blair: I used to go on benders all the time. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: Same here. 

Sam: Still doing it. Just kidding. 

Dan: I never did this. 

Simon: good for you. I never did either. 

Sully: I did many, many times. 

Blair: Well to be honest, Simon, Dan and Joel couldn’t do a seven-day bender now. 

Simon, Dan and Joel: Why? 

Blair: Because, you’re straight. It would have to be a seven-day straighter. 

Everyone laughed. 

Simon: I’m going to get you. 

Blair: Oh you ‘so’ scare me. 

Simon: I used to scare my men. It’s this Pub thingy. Shit…

Sully: Hey, this is where we met. It’s a great place. 

Simon: I love you Sully.

 

Connor: Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break- up.

Jim: I just want you all to know, we have to stay together. I can’t stand break-up’s. Promise me? 

Simon: I promise you Jim. 

Sully: I promise you. 

Sam: I promise gladly. 

Dan: Who’s gladly? (Snickering) I promise too. 

Rafe: I promise Ellison. 

Brown: I’m never leaving his side, so this is a promise I can keep. 

Joel: I promise to be with Meggie forever. 

Connor: And I promise to be with you. I love you, Joel. 

Blair: I promise to be with you Jim. I love you. 

Jim: I’ll never leave you, Blair. Never. And I love you all. 

 

Connor: How about we fill each other in on our kids. 

Joel: I’ll start. (Smiling.) Miss Ellie is precious as always and loves that we live near unca Jam. She seems excited about helping get the babies rooms ready. We’re excited about the new babies, aren’t we Meggie? 

Connor: We sure are. How great is it to get a chance at having children again and carrying them full term? Oh before I forget, we’re going with Mallory instead of Natalie. 

Joel: Why? 

Connor: Because Simon and Sully are going with Matthew and call him Matty. Well Natalie gets shortened to Natty, and I don’t want anyone making fun of them in a group. So she’ll be Malley. Does that work, Joel? 

Joel: I love Mallory. 

Connor: Okay, who’s next? 

Rafe: I wanted to tell you all about Lancy just starting first grade and she comes home from school and she said, “Papa, that Jade is such a baby.” And of course I got angry and said, “Don’t say things like that about Jade.” And she said, “But Papa, she’s in kindergarten and they’re babies.” I have a hard time keeping from laughing my ass off. She doesn’t realize it was just last year; it was her in that class. Then she told me how great it was to have Drake in her class. The teacher had to separate them the first day. She wouldn’t leave him alone. (Everyone laughed.) So she loves her teacher, loves her school and loves Drake. But Jades a pain in the butt cuz she’s a baby. 

Brown: My turn. But when she’s around Remmy she’s totally different. She loves him to death. I swear she would protect him from anyone. He’s such a good baby. We just love both of the kids to death. My Mom said that they are two of the nicest children she knows. Okay, I’m done bragging. 

Sully: Well our little Simone isn’t that little anymore. The doctor measured her and said, she’s so tall she might be as tall as Simon when she is done. Do you believe it? I always wanted to be tall. I got her hair cut yesterday and she hated it and cried to her daddy all night long didn’t she honey? 

Simon: Yes. She kept saying mean Mommy. I was laughing of course. We’ve been letting her help with Matthew’s room. I don’t think she really understands yet about having a baby. But she will once that baby comes. I think she’ll be a fine big sister. Don’t you, baby?

Sully: Yes, she’s very protective of her friends. So I can imagine how she’ll be with Matthew. Oh god, I love that name. (She went into Simon’s arms and buried her face in his chest.)

Simon: She gets emotional sometimes. Carry on. 

Dan: Well Tristan is precious also. Actually, I think all of our children are precious. There isn’t a bad one among them. (Smiles) Tristan is doing beautifully in the Day Center. He’s in one of the top groups, along with his cousin Simone. They both talk like crazy already and the teachers think that Tristan is ready for two siblings. I know we are. 

Sam: We’re so damn excited about the babies. They can’t come soon enough. 

Everyone watched as Jim walked out of the room carrying his cell phone. Before long he came back in and he sat next to Connor. 

“Meg, the babies heartbeats are slowing down so I called for an ambulance. Don’t worry, they’ll be here in a moment.”

“Jim, is she all right?” Joel asked. 

“Dan, why don’t you check and see how she’s doing.” Jim asked. 

Dan and Jim got her on the table and helped her take her panties off. Dan went between her legs and said, “I have to see if you’re dilating or not. Megan I’m going to move up and see what position the babies are in.”

“Okay. God something’s wrong. Jim that same pain is here.” Megan began to cry. Then everyone saw all of the blood that was beginning to flow out of her. 

“Calm down Meggie. Please?” Joel was as upset as she was. 

The EMT’s came in and Dan and Jim were so happy to see them. They got her all ready and took her in the ambulance with Joel along. 

Simon: Jesus, I hope she doesn’t have any more after this one.

Sully: Me too. Fuck that scares me. 

Dan: I hope it doesn’t happen to Sam. (Dan looked on the verge of tears.)

Sam: Danny I had no problems with Tristan. I don’t see any coming with the twins. Relax and don’t cry. All right. 

Dan: Okay. I love you baby. 

Sully: Jim and Blair could you help me clean this up? I don’t want the workers to see it. 

Jim and Blair got the buckets and the cleaning products and began their job at hand. Jim had a hard time keeping his sense of smell turned down. He was so sick to his stomach when he was done it wasn’t even funny. Once it was all cleaned up Jim took everything and put it away. 

Jim’s cell phone went off and he answered, “Ellison.”

“Jim, I need you here. She’s crying for you. She needs you. Please. The doctor said we might lose the babies.” Joel was sobbing his heart out. 

“I’ll be right there.” Jim ran in and just yelled that he was going to the hospital and flew out the door. 

Everyone drove over. They were as close to them as Jim. Blair watched Jim as he drove. “Things bad, babe?”

“He said the doctors don’t think they can save them.” 

Blair could see Jim’s hands shaking on the steering wheel. “Things will be fine, man.”

“I hope so, Blair. I hope so. Joel will die without Connor and those babies.” Jim looked so sad. 

When they all drove into the emergency room parking lot, Joel came running out to meet them. 

“Mason and Mallory are just fine. They weigh 3 pounds each. Right after I talked to you Jim, Meggie straightened up. She said you would tell these babies she was a bad, Mummy if she didn’t start fighting. It worked. She’s doing pretty well.” Joel hugged Jim hard and then went to hug all of the others. 

Simon held on to him and could feel that he might need a good cry, so he pushed Sully to him. Sully held him close and he did start to cry. “I was so scared. Jesus, they tied her tubes. No more babies. I can’t do this again.”

They all took a few moments to think about how precious life is before they moved on to see the babies and Connor. 

“Congratulations Joel.” They all said and followed him up to the floor where the babies and Megan were on. 

Connor smiled when everyone came in and hugged her but Jim stayed back and just smiled. “Jim, could I talk to you alone?” Connor called out as they were leaving. 

“Sure.” He walked over to the bed his large hand was taken into hers and she kissed it. “I love you Jim. You mean the world to me, Joel and Ellie. I hope that Mason and Mallory will be as special in your life.”

Jim leaned down with tears in his eyes he was smiling. “I love you too, Connor. You all mean the world to me. And Mason and Mallory will be as special to us as Miss Ellie is. Now I have to go and see them.” Jim kissed her and walked out of the room and everyone was waiting for him. 

Simon pulled him into a hug and said, “We knew you’d be upset about her. She’s doing great. Want to see those babies?”

“Couldn’t stop me.” Jim grabbed Blair’s hand and held on for dear life. Blair knew that he was afraid of losing it again. Blair loved this emotional but yet strong man. 

They all moved to the window with the babies and they had a bed with the twins together and they all stood in front not saying a word. Finally Jim said, “So who do you think they look like, Joel?”

Everyone burst out laughing. 

“I was whining because Miss Ellie doesn’t look a thing like me and I got my wish with these two. They’re so sweet aren’t they?” Joel beamed with pride. 

 

Everyone went home a happy person that night. Their lives were good. They were blessed with family and friends. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 61  
Do You Remember Saying Any Of These Quotes?

Thank you for reading. Come again soon.


	62. Things You Learn As You Mature.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We know no one is mature, so this one ought to be nothing but fun.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 62  
Things You Learn As You Mature  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 07/07/03  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: I had the weirdest dream last night. Jim and Blair came to me and told me that they wanted me to own them. Then the wolf and the panther were there too. I really felt like it was fate, karma, kismet or something. At any rate then Jim said, “Patt do with me what you want.” Well fuck, what do with that remark? Blair said, “Patt we want to be all yours.” So I had to take this on now. I mean, it’s important. I called Pet Fly to tell them about the dream and how I now owned them, but they haven’t returned my call yet. I’m pretty fucking excited. Until they give their approval on this, the guys still belong to Pet Fly. I continue to make no money from this Series. (Someone remind me why I’m doing this again?)

Author’s Notes: Thank you Tinn for the fun ammo.   
Summary: Things You Learn As You Mature. We know no one is mature, so this one ought to be nothing but fun. J   
Warnings: m/m Angst Silliness Abounds Bigtime Writers block so you’ll all have to bear with me. No beta this time either.   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 62  
Things You Learn As You Mature  
Patt

 

Sullivan’s Pub was going to be so much fun that night. Connor hummed as she typed out her Ammo. A Detective from Vice named, Tinn, had given her this list. She just knew that her friends were going to love it. 

Everyone filed into the private room that night with a bouncing Connor. It had been four weeks since she had been out of the house. Thank god, for their nanny. The twins were beautiful, but a handful at the same time. 

Jim: Hey Connor, you look fantastic. (Hugged her.)

Blair: He’s not kidding. You look great. 

Joel: She does look great doesn’t she? 

Dan and Sam: You look great.

Brown and Rafe: Whoa, Mama. Better keep an eye on her, Joel. 

Simon: It’s good to see you, Connor. We’ve missed you.

Connor: You have?

Jim: Duh. 

Blair: There is no one to blame now. 

Connor: It’s so nice to be loved. (Laughing) 

Sully: Meg, I want you to know you look great, but until I have this baby, I hate you. 

Connor: I totally understand that. (She truly did.)

THINGS YOU LEARN AS YOU "MATURE"

 

Connor: I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

Laughter breaks out and they are off. 

Jim: Well I know that sometimes when Blair and I have troubles, I follow him and bug him. That’s a type of stalking. So I guess it works, eh?

Blair: No, it doesn’t work. I just got tired of filling the paperwork out for keeping your distance. (Giggling)

Rafe: Good one, Sandburg. I would stalk Henri. 

Brown: Man, I feel loved. (Kisses Rafe)

Sully: I would stalk Simon. Sometimes I follow him anyhow. 

Simon: What are you talking about?

Sully: I get insecure and then I follow you. But every time I do you’re at a bookstore. 

Simon: Sully, don’t do it anymore. 

Jim and Blair looked at each other and frowned. 

Joel: Well I wouldn’t care if Meggie followed me. It would just show she loves me and cares for me. 

Connor: Good, because you know I would. (Kissed Joel.)

Simon: Fine, do what you want. 

Sully: (Crying.) What’s going on, Simon?

Simon: I’m just tired of you being pregnant. I’m sorry. 

Sam: You’re an asshole Simon.

Dan: Honey this is none of our business. 

Sam: It is too. That’s my big sister sitting over there crying. What’s the deal Simon? You found someone prettier to fuck? 

Sully cried harder after Sam asked this. 

Simon: Sully, I’m not fucking anyone. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, as you well know. That’s why I’ve been going there. Nothing but reading. I love you very much.

Sully: Promise?

Simon: I promise. I love you with all my heart. I’m sorry I made you cry. (Holding her in his arms, she finally stopped crying and calmed down.)

Connor: I think we might move along, eh Simon? 

Simon: Good idea. 

 

Connor: I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

 

Jim: I think we all need this on our desks.

Blair: I totally agree. 

Simon: But the people that we have to deal with would read it and sue our Asses off or something. 

Dan: Who cares? It’s just a job, Simon. 

Simon: Spoken by a medical doctor. (Laughing)

Sully: I love this saying. It’s perfect. 

Sam: I agree. 

Rafe: I do think we should put it in the break rooms or something. 

Brown: That’s very good thinking. I’ll get one made up, hot stuff. 

Connor: And why do you call him hot stuff again? 

Brown: Because he has the warmest come I’ve ever thought of having in my body. 

Simon: Now I could have went all night without hearing that. 

Jim: Simon, could I speak to you?

Simon: Now?

Jim: Yeah. 

Jim got up and walked outside. Simon followed him. Rafe looked out the window and could see Jim was pissed off. “I think we could wait for them, don’t you?”

“Oh yeah. I don’t want them to miss this fun.” Connor added. 

Outside Jim and Simon were arguing. “Jim, I’m not fucking anyone.”

“So you’ve figured out who you want and you’re going to fuck them soon?”

“Maybe. It’s my life, Jim.”

“Well I just want you to know that I’ll never talk to you again when you fuck around on her. I’ll put in for a transfer, and we’ll no longer be friends.” Jim started up the stairs and Simon grabbed him. 

“I’ve been reading up on male sex, just in case. But nothing else. I swear.” Simon was almost begging. 

“Just keep it that way. I don’t want you screwing up your life.” Jim again started into the building. 

“This is between me and you, right?”

“Yeah. But Sully already knows. You must be doing something different.” Jim gave his opinion. 

“I promise I won’t make any kind of move about my love-life without talking to you first.” Simon figured this would help him out. 

“Simon, you’re not listening. If you fuck around on her, I’m done with you.”

“Ellison, you make it sound like I’m your boyfriend or something.” Simon growled. 

“Go fuck yourself, Simon.” And Jim walked back into the room. Simon followed him in and everyone was trying to see what was going on, by gauging the look on their faces. 

Jim: I’m ready, Connor.

Blair: Connor, hop to it. The great and powerful Oz has spoken. 

Connor: Don’t you be bossing me around Mr. Ellison. 

Jim: Sorry, Connor. 

Connor: You’re apology is accepted. 

Simon: Are we going to start or what?

Sully: Simon, is everything all right? 

Simon: Everything is just fine, babe. 

 

Connor: I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

 

Jim: Boy is this ever true.

Dan: I agree with this one. 

Sam: I do too. 

Blair: Hey, it was my turn. I agree with Jim also. 

Dan: Sorry, Blair. 

Blair: I was kidding Dan. You can go ahead of me anytime. 

Dan: That’s so nice. 

Simon: Oh give me a friggin break. Are we going to do this or not? 

Sully: So answer.

Simon: I think it’s true also. 

Sully: I agree with all of you. 

Connor: I agree. 

Joel: I agree, but I think I agree with Jim. 

Simon: We all agreed. 

Joel: Well, I still can say I only agreed with him. 

Jim: He’s teasing, Simon. 

Rafe: I’m not. I agree with only Sandburg. He’s our voice of reason. 

Blair: Why thank you, Rafe. 

Brown: I agree with him too. 

Simon: We all said yes we agreed. So why would you be agreeing with him? 

Rafe: Because he’s cute and we like him? 

Blair: Thanks, Rafe. 

Brown: He bakes us cookies on Saturday nights. 

Joel: You bake them cookies? 

Blair: I’ll start baking you some too. Geeze. 

Simon: You’re all insane. 

Jim: Why? Because they love cookies? I love cookies, does this make me insane? 

Simon: Yes, you’re insane too. It’s time to move on, honey, er Connor. 

 

Connor: I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.

Blair: (Falls out of his chair) God, this is a riot, Connor. I don’t believe this. I think my charm got me by for a lot longer than that. 

Joel: You’re charm gets you by with everyone, Blair. 

Jim: We’re not talking sexual stuff right? 

Blair: Well duh, what do you think? 

Brown: Sandburg, your charm will always be good for anything. And you have a big weenie too. 

Rafe: (Falls out of his chair.) Good one, H. 

Jim: Not funny. 

Dan: We didn’t say he had a funny weenie, we said he had a big one. There is a difference. 

Sam: God, you guys are full of it tonight. And I’ll have you know that my boobs have gotten me far. 

Jim: I’m not even going to mention what they’re full of. And as far as boobs go, you ladies all have really nice ones. 

Simon: I think you’re all nuts. Why are you looking at my wife’s boobs?

Sully: I think they’re funny. I’m laughing my ass off tonight. Thanks, for the fun, Meg. Thanks for the compliment, Jim. 

Connor: Why thank you and your welcome. It’s my duty to point out how Blair has a big weenie and Sully has big boobies. 

Jim: Hey, knock it off. 

Blair: To clear things up, Jim has a big one also. And his isn’t funny either. 

Jim: Thank you. 

Blair: You can show it to me later. 

Jim: Hot damn. 

Blair: Don’t get too excited, I just wanted to look at it. 

Jim: Come here. (Laughing.) (Blair sat on his lap and they kissed for a short time.)

Brown: I want to see who has the biggest weenie and we can vote. 

Rafe: I think we’ve done that. 

Brown: Why don’t I remember? It must have been upsetting to me. 

Rafe: You did just fine big boy. 

Brown: (Kisses Rafe.) Thank you. 

Simon: Could we move this along? 

 

Connor: I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.

Simon: I’ve always said that you all were nuts. This tells me that most people agree with me. 

Sully: Shut up, Simon. Don’t think I won’t hurt you. 

Sam: Knock it off you two. This statement is very true. 

Dan: I say this a lot. I need this put on a shirt or a sign to use at work. 

Sam: I’ll do that for you honey. 

Rafe: I want a sign too. 

Brown: I want the tee shirt. 

Jim: You can put have of it on your tee shirt and say, “Read the rest on Rafe’s desk.”

Blair: Oh good one, big man. I think this is a very true statement. We need the sign too. 

Joel: I think it’s true also. Meg, can we get this made into a sign for my office? 

Connor: Sure can. 

Connor: Whoa, time to move along? 

 

Connor: I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

Jim: Well that’s gross. 

Blair: But true. 

Jim: Yes, true. But still gross. 

Rafe: I hate throwing up. 

Brown: That’s not what it’s about, Bri. 

Rafe: Do you like throwing up? 

Brown: No. Does anyone? 

Joel: I don’t. I hate it. 

Sam: The question isn’t if you hate throwing up or not, but if you know you can puke long after you think you’re finished.

Dan: I knew this and I also hate puking. 

Simon: Well everyone knows this and I also hate throwing up. 

Sully: I really hate throwing up. And I know how long you can go. 

Simon: Connor, look there’s a green light. Time to go. 

 

Connor: I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

Jim: This is true. 

Blair: You can say that again. 

Jim: This is true. 

Joel: (Laughing) You kids are too cute. I think everyone should be responsible. But sadly, the rich often don’t have to be. 

Rafe: I couldn’t agree with you more. 

Brown: Why not? You could agree with him more if you wanted.

Rafe: Very funny. I want a serious Sullivan’s Pub some night. 

Dan: I don’t. I love these fun ones. 

Sam: Me too, they’re just too much fun. 

Rafe: That’s just it, if they’re too much fun, we don’t want that going on. Right? 

Dan: She’ll hurt you, you better watch out. 

Sully: (Laughing) I agree about the fun ones. These are the best. I’m having a good time, Meg. 

Connor: Why thank you. 

Simon: We could move on now. 

 

Connor: I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

Blair: As awful as it sounds, this is why I married Jim. He has money. So I knew I could fall back on something besides our love life. 

Jim: Ha Ha Ha. I don’t believe this for a minute. You tell me right now, that you don’t love sex with me and I’ll give you your money and let you move on. 

Blair: Oh I love having sex with you. Last night, he let me take him twice and he howled so loudly the second time he woke all three of the kids up. 

Jim: (Blushing) Chief, did you have to say that?

Blair: That you woke the kids up? No, not really. 

Simon: It’s like being in a fucking first grade classroom. (Sighing) I don’t believe that you have to have money to fall back on, because if you did, I’d be a goner. 

Sully: You would never have to worry about it, Simon. 

Simon: (Kisses her softly) Thank you. (He’s thinking about why in the hell he would want anyone else.)

Dan: I agree with everyone. I know that Blair took Jim twice last night and woke the kids up. 

Sam: (Howling with laughter.) Good one, Danny. I think money has no place in any of our lives. We all love each other. 

Rafe: Speak for yourself. I want to be with Jim, he’s got money. 

Blair: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Brown: Not on your best day, Sandburg. I think I’m going to have to kick my husband’s ass later. 

Rafe: You’ve never called me that before. I love it. 

Brown: I love you. 

Rafe: I love you back. (Kisses Henri and holds him close.)

Sully: Could you all talk for a while? I need to see Simon in my office. 

Simon followed Sully in figuring that he was in some type of trouble. 

“Simon, strip. Right now.”

“Sully, everyone is out there.”

“Key words being out there, honey. Now I want you naked in two seconds flat.”

Simon took his clothing off and found himself getting very hard at the idea of his wife bossing him around. He stood before her naked and she said, “Bend over the desk and just close your eyes. I’m going to make you feel good, baby.”

He leaned over the desk and she pushed his legs apart and he didn’t fight her at all. She began with one finger in his anus making him jump a little. Then she slicked up the next finger and began working it in there. Simon was moaning very nicely by this time. She slid the third finger in and once he got used to the fullness, she started finger fucking him like mad. 

“Do you trust me, Simon?”

“You know I do.” Simon was panting, hoping she would give him some type of release. 

Simon heard her putting more lube on something and the next thing he knew, he had his ass being filled with a dildo. She went very slow and made Simon beg for each and every part of this lovemaking. As she got the dildo in further, he begged, “Sully, give it to me baby. It feels wonderful. I love it. Give it to me. You’re touching something in me that’s making me want to come.”

So she did, she shoved it in all the way and began to move it. Then she turned it on. Simon had no idea it was a vibrating dildo. Before long he was screaming out for release. Jim opened the door to the office and stepped inside and shut it and locked it. 

“They think something is wrong in here. Keep the screaming down to a low roar.” Both Sully and Simon could hear the laughter in Jim’s voice. 

Sully continued to move the dildo and turned the speed up on it and Simon about came off the desk. Jim leaned against the door and didn’t move. He decided to watch them. Sully reached down and started to pull on his cock and Simon knew he was going to come soon. There was too much stimulation. Sully pushed the dildo in harder and deeper, making Simon’s prostate go crazy. He screamed her name and came all over the front of the desk. 

After a few minutes, she said, “Want it again, baby?” 

“Oh god.” Simon howled as she started the same thing all over again. 

Jim slipped out and went back into the Sullivan Room.

Sam: Is everything all right? 

Jim: Yeah, everything is just fine. They’ll be out in a while. 

Rafe: Sex fiends. 

Brown: You sound jealous. 

Rafe: Maybe. (Smiling.)

Connor: So how about we fill each other in on our babies?

Rafe: Good idea. 

Connor: Can I start? I’m dying to tell you how well the babies are sleeping. 

Jim: Go for it Missy. But don’t forget to mention Miss Ellie, also. 

Connor: Both of the babies are sleeping all night long. They sleep about 9 hours each. It’s wonderful. So Joel and I have actually gotten back into a routine again. They’re just lovely babies and Miss Ellie adores them. She helps me every chance she can. 

Joel: I just love these babies. We know they’re going to be the last ones, so I think we might be spoiling them a little. Okay, I know we are. They’re just so damn precious. Don’t be giving me those looks, Ellison. Miss Ellie is a perfect little angel that helps us every single day and night with the twins. 

Jim: Glad to hear it. I asked her to be helpful. 

Blair: Me next. Me next. (Everyone laughed.) Rayne called me Poppy today. I was so excited I thought I was going to fly. 

Jim: She doesn’t say Daddy yet. In case anyone wondered.

Rafe: No one cared, Ellison. 

Blair: So anyhow, she says Poppy, Day and Jay. So we think that’s pretty darn good for a ten-month-old baby. She’s walking and getting into everything she can. Jade is doing wonderfully in Kindergarten and thinks that she of course knows it all now that she’s in school. She asked why Daddy and I don’t go back, because we don’t know that much. (Everyone laughed again.) Drake is great as always. He’s such a good boy. I swear he and Tristan are related. They are the sweetest children. Not that I don’t think all the kids aren’t sweet; just think these two might be the dearest when it comes to feelings. 

Sam: I think you might be right, Blair. Although, I think that Remmy might be right up there with them. 

Blair: Hell yes, how could I forget Remmy. Sorry, guys. We love having these children. 

Jim: I know he’s right. We love these kids to death. It was the luckiest day in our lives when Megan and Joel brought their friends to meet us to see about adopting two children. Thank you again, Joel and Megan. Rick and Rena saved our lives didn’t they Chief. 

Blair: Sure did. Thank you both. 

Joel: You are most welcome.

Dan: Okay, can we go next? 

Rafe: I guess. (Doing a mock pout.)

Dan: We went to the doctor and the babies are doing just fine. Tristan is doing great. He loves school and when we pick him up he cries. Makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Jim: (Laughing.) Well at least he loves school. You could be bitching about the opposite. // Jim could still hear Sully tormenting Simon and Simon’s cries of joy. //

Sam: What are you laughing about Jim? Man, you can hear them, right? What’s going on in there? 

Jim: None of my business. 

Sam: Oh yeah. You just listen. 

Blair: I’ll tell you tomorrow. 

Jim: Chief, I’m not telling anyone anything. 

Blair: Well fuck. 

Sully and Simon walked back into the room and they all noticed how tired Simon looked. 

Rafe: You’re supposed to look rested after this type of enjoyment. Are you two doing it wrong? 

Sully: Would you like me to take you in there and have you tell me? 

Everyone laughed but Simon. 

Simon sat down very carefully and leaned into Sully for a kiss. 

Connor: Oh the lovebirds are back. 

Rafe: Can I tell you about the kids now? 

Connor: You sure can. 

Rafe: Well Remmy is doing very well at his day program. Everyone loves him in that class and he has them all wrapped around his little finger. 

Brown: And then our daughter Lancy has everyone else wrapped around hers. Gosh, what are we teaching these kids? They’re both brats, but they’re our brats. We love them to death. 

Jim: Good, that’s what’s most important. Blair and I love all of the children. As he says, there’s not a bad one among them. 

Everyone gave hugs to one another. 

Simon: Simone got in trouble in school the other day; for pretending she was the friggin teacher. So she had to stay home from school for two days. She’s only 16 months old. Doesn’t anyone else think this is weird? 

Dan: I think it’s very weird. 

Sam: Sully I can’t believe you stood for that. 

Sully: I didn’t really have much choice. Simon picked this fancy ancy school out. So ask him about it. 

Simon: Fine, find one that’s better. 

Sully: You mean it? 

Simon: Yes. (Leaning in for another kiss.) So Connor, are we going to finish this or what? 

Connor: Here we go. Hold on to your butts. 

 

Connor: I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be just the ones who do.

Jim: I agree with this one. 

Blair: Big time, big man. 

Joel: That was cute, Blair. I think I agree with this statement. 

Blair: That’s cuz I’m a cute guy. 

Jim: We need to widen that doorway, so he can get his head through. 

Rafe: Good one, Ellison. I think this statement is true. Not the one Jim made, but the one Connor said. 

Brown: Hairboy, I think he just gave you an offhanded compliment. I think the statement is true also. 

Sam: Yup, I agree. 

Dan: I want to use Sully’s office. 

Sam: (Laughing) Well ask her. 

Dan: Sully, can we use your office? 

Simon: No. 

Dan: I was talking to Sully. 

Simon: That’s our room. 

Everyone begins to laugh. 

Sully: I agree with this statement and no you can’t use the room. Simon’s was going back in soon. 

Simon: She’s going to kill me. Statement is true. Now,   
Simon, next???

 

Connor: I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

Blair: (Falls out of his chair.) This is so true. 

Jim: Chief, that was a terrible thing to say. 

Blair: That it was true? Jim, you’re like the King of the land of Dysfunction. You would think you would understand better than anyone. Let me reword it. If Dysfunction had a Kingdom, you would be its King. Better? 

Jim: You’re a laugh a minute. 

Rafe: I think he is. That was good. This is true. I feel much better about myself since I met Henri. 

Brown: You do know that Dysfunctional people get to have sex, and the others go without, right? 

Rafe: I’m as nutty as a pecan pie. 

Brown: Spoken like the true slut he is. 

Dan: You’re all on a roll tonight. I believe this to be true, and that’s why we’re all friends. 

Sam: I’m not sure how to take that. 

Dan: We’re all nuts. 

Sam: Well I can live with that. (Kisses Dan)

Simon: I think you’re all nuts. I’m not. 

Sully: Who was just in my office getting… (Simon pulled her into his arms and covered her mouth with his.)

Simon: I’m nutty as a pecan pie. 

Joel: I honestly think I’m the sanest one here. Honey is that what you told me to say? (Laughing.)

Connor: I love you all, but you’re all nuttier than pecan pie. 

Sam: And you’re not? 

Connor: Well of course I am. 

Dan: Okay, we’re in the twilight zone now. 

 

Connor: I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

Joel: I beg to differ. It will never be in the paper. 

Jim: (Laughing.) That’s true, we might not like it, but it could happen. God, I hope it doesn’t happen. 

Blair: It’s not going to happen to any of the kids. 

Sully: How can you sound so sure of yourself?

Blair: They’re all going to be in boarding school. 

Simon: Good thinking, Sandburg. 

Brown: Well if those were our choices, I would go with the school too. I would hate it, but at least then I could party a lot and it could be my name in the paper instead. 

Rafe: Very funny, Henri. But I do agree about the school part. 

Sam: I do too. 

Rafe: Agree about the school part? 

Sam: NO want to send our kids off so that we can party and get our names in the paper. 

Dan: She’s kidding. You are kidding, right?   
Sam: Of course I’m kidding. (Winking at everyone else)

Connor: I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Joel: This is just too cruel.   
Jim: It’s not true either. I love Blair and he’s still here. Oh fuck. Knock on wood everyone.   
Blair: Jim, quit freaking out. Now this is a man that is nuttier than a pecan pie.   
Joel: He was just worried about you.   
Dan: Yeah, that’s all. He’s not nuts. He’s just nutty. And he also stalks you doesn’t he?   
Sam: We might have to give more thought to this. I don’t believe this statement to be true at all.   
Simon: It’s funny, but not true.   
Sully: I agree with my hubby.   
Rafe: I think it’s untrue also.   
Brown: It’s not true. Well it is funny though.   
Simon: OH my word, look we get to move on to the next one. 

Connor: I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

Joel: Starting tomorrow, each of us is in charge of learning this statement in one language. It’ll be fun. 

Jim: I choose Spanish. 

Blair: That’s no fair, you already know Spanish. 

Jim: Blair, you’re Spanish too. 

Blair: I am not. I’m Jewish. 

Jim: You’re my partner, so we share the language that we’re going to use. 

Blair: Jim, I’m telling you, I don’t know how to speak Spanish. 

Jim leaned in and kissed Blair stupid and Blair said, “Oh yeah, that Spanish. I got it now.”

Rafe: I choose French.

Brown: And you’ll teach me, right? 

Rafe: You want to know how to speak French. That’s cool, H. 

Brown: NO, I want you to teach me how to say Fuck em in French. 

Simon: I think you all took stupid pills today. I’ll take German. 

Sully: You know German? That’s very cool. 

Simon: No, but I’ll get a dictionary. 

Dan: We’ll take Italian. 

Sam: Italian?

Dan: I took it in high school and in college. I loved it. 

Sam: Very cool, babe. 

Connor: Well that’s the end for tonight. And Joel and I will take Irish. 

Jim: Irish? Isn’t that English?

Blair: Not really it sounds quite a bit different. 

Jim: You’re going to get it. 

Blair: When? Like soon?

Jim: Like now. Get up and get to the truck. 

Blair: Night everyone. (Blair ran to the truck and waited for Jim.)

Everyone said good-bye as they got ready to leave the room. 

Jim heard Sully say, “Come on Simon. I have everything in my purse. I’ll make you beg at home.”

These were the kind of nights that Jim loved. Everyone was happy and Jim was going to fuck Blair. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 62  
Things You Learn As You Mature


	63. Every Day Can't Be Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every Day Can’t Be Perfect. How true is this?

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 63  
Every Day Can’t Be Perfect  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 07/21/03  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: I had the weirdest dream last night. Jim and Blair came to me and told me that they wanted me to own them. Then the wolf and the panther were there too. I really felt like it was fate, karma, kismet or something. At any rate then Jim said, “Patt do with me what you want.” Well fuck, what do with that remark? Blair said, “Patt we want to be all yours.” So I had to take this on now. I mean, it’s important. I called Pet Fly to tell them about the dream and how I now owned them, but they haven’t returned my call yet. I’m pretty fucking excited. Until they give their approval on this, the guys still belong to Pet Fly. I continue to make no money from this Series. (Someone remind me why I’m doing this again?)

Author’s Notes: A less funny one tonight. If you have writer’s block, are you actually a writer? Or would you then just be called a block?   
Summary: Every Day Can’t Be Perfect. How true is this?   
Warnings: m/m Angst Some humor, and continue to have writers block so you’ll all have to bear with me. No beta this time either.   
Sullivan’s Pub Part 63  
Patt

Every Day Can’t Be Perfect

Jim Ellison woke to the birds chirping, their children talking and breakfast cooking. He loved his family and his life. Things couldn’t get much better. Then the fucking phone rang. Jim hated the telephone. Today was supposed to be their day off. He listened and heard Blair talking to someone and taking a message. He fell back to sleep just knowing he was in his own home with his loves. 

The next thing Jim felt was the bed dipping down and a very hard slap on his chest. Jim sat up straight and asked, “What? What did I do?”

“Know anyone named Catherine?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should think about it first. I will leave your ass for lying to me.” Blair was standing now and beginning to pace. 

“Chief, what are you talking about?”

“She said she met you at the conference last week in Seattle.” Blair was so pissed of he could hardly think. 

“Okay, I did meet someone, but I don’t know her name, and I wasn’t thinking about her. I don’t know her, know her. I don’t even know her last name.”

“That was her on the phone and she said to tell you that she’s in town and wants to have lunch.” Blair looked so livid that it was scaring Jim. 

“Well call her back and tell her I said to go fuck herself. Chief, I don’t know her. I don’t. You think I fucked her? Is that what you think? Is that what I mean to you?” Jim got up out of bed and walked into the bathroom not even covering up, even though his children were all watching them. 

“Poppy, don’t make Daddy leave, okay?” Drake begged. 

“Daddy’s not going to leave, honey.” Blair pulled them all in for a hug as Jim stormed out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go. He grabbed the note and was out the door before Blair could catch him. 

They all jumped when the door slammed. Rayne started to sob and Blair just held her wanting to sob also, but knew that he had to stay strong for the children. He fed them breakfast, got them dressed and took them all to Day Care and school. 

Once he was home alone in the house, he was sadder than before. He had insulted his lover. He had called him a liar. He had believed this friggin woman. What was wrong with him? 

Jim didn’t come back home at all, so Blair went and picked the kids up at the correct times. He was heartbroken. 

Drake jumped into the Santa Fe and said, “Is he back?”

“No, sorry, Drake.”

“You think he’s going to leave us, Poppy?”

“I hope not, but I was mean. I don’t blame you for being angry at me.” Blair was so sad. 

“I’m not mad at you, Poppy. I’m not. I’m mad at Daddy for leaving without talking to us.” 

Blair pulled up and got Jade and helped her get her belt on. “Daddy’s still not back, Jade.” Drake advised.

Jade cried softly all the way to Day Care and was still doing it when Blair came out with Rayne.

Once they got home, all of the kids hung on Blair like he was leaving them forever. They made dinner, did dishes, had their baths and then it was bedtime. Blair tucked them all in bed and Drake said, “Poppy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

“In a while, Drake. I have some thinking to do.” Blair smiled and kissed him again. “I love you little man.”

There was a knock at the door and Blair went running thinking Jim had forgotten his key, but it was Simon. “Hey Sandburg. Could you ask Jim if he could look at this for me?” He was holding up some tubing from some type of faucet. 

“Sorry, he’s not here.” Blair said quickly. 

Simon glanced outside and realized his SUV was missing in action. “You fighting?”

“I don’t know.”

“Want to talk to me?” Simon asked almost shyly. 

“No, you’re Jim’s friend. I would never do that.”

“You’re my friend too. Now talk.” Simon sat down on the sofa and Blair brought him a beer. 

Blair informed him of everything that was said and done and he said, “Shit. Well I would guess he didn’t do anything, but now he feels like he should just to prove you right.”

Blair started to shake and Simon pulled him into his arms. “He’ll come around.”

“When?” Blair pleaded. 

“When he’s ready to face you. There must be something going on that we’re not seeing. Do you think he could have slept with her? Maybe gave him a different name. Then he wasn’t ready for it. Do you think he would?” Simon really did wonder. 

“Simon, I could see him having sex with someone, but I think it might be a man. Not a woman. He loves making love to me. I don’t think he had sex with her. Maybe it was something else. I don’t know.” Blair looked so defeated as he spoke, that Simon was sad too. 

Just then the front door opened and Jim waltzed in. He was drunk and looked mad. 

“Tell me you didn’t drive home like that.” Simon dared him to answer wrongly. 

“I took a fucking cab if it’s any of your business.” Jim started for the bedroom and Simon stopped him. 

“Are you all right, Jim?”

“No, I’m not fucking all right. I’m moving.” Jim moved into the bedroom and began to pack things. 

Blair came in and began to unpack it all. “Stop doing that, Blair. I need to think.”

“Think here. I’ll sleep with Drake. Please don’t leave us. I promise I won’t bother you. I just want you to think here.” Blair stood back away from the bag. 

“Fine, you move into the spare room. I don’t ever want to fuck you again.” Jim was throwing things into the drawers and slamming them. 

Blair was moving things into the spare room and Simon said, “This is really mature, Jim.”

“It’s so typical for everyone to take his side. Get out of my room.” Jim yelled. 

“Don’t you yell at me, you asshole. Talk to him. He loves you more than anyone ever could.”

“Well, he thought I slept with someone from Seattle. So he must not love me that much. Doesn’t trust me and didn’t talk to me. He just yelled all morning.” Jim said looking very miserable. “Did he tell you he smacked me? Hard?” 

Simon pulled Jim in for a hug and said, “I love you no matter what. But talk to him. He’s been on the edge of crying all night long. He didn’t want to do it and embarrass you. And tell him how you feel about him hitting you in anger.” 

“I’ll talk to him in a few days. Can I be with Connor at work until I work this out?” Jim asked beseechingly.

“Fine. Talk to you in the morning.” Simon walked out knowing things were going to go downhill.

Jim went to get a bottle of water and noticed that Blair wasn’t in the spare room. He opened his senses up more and heard him in with Drake. He walked to the doorway and listened to the two men in his life talk. 

“Poppy, is Daddy staying?”

“He said he would, little man.”

“Are you leaving?” Drake started to cry softly. 

Blair pulled him in close and said, “I hope not. But I might have to. I hurt Daddy today. It wasn’t right and I don’t expect him to forgive me. But I will always love you and the girls.”

Sobbing Drake held on to Blair and begged, “Please don’t leave us Poppy. Please?”

Jim walked into the room and said, “Drake calm down. Poppy isn’t going anywhere. Poppy get in bed while I calm Drake.”

Blair walked into the spare room and Jim called out, “Our room, Chief.” Blair almost ran and jumped into the bed. 

“Daddy had a bad day today. But I’m better. I love you kids and Poppy more than life itself. Right?”

“Right, more than life itself.” Drake hugged Jim as he said it. 

“Go to sleep, our little man and I’ll take you to school tomorrow.”

“I love you Daddy. Will you give Poppy a kiss for me and tell him I love him?” Drake still sounded sad. 

“I’d be glad to do that. I’ll be in there kissing him anyhow.” Jim giggled and Drake joined in. “Night, son. I love you.”

“Night Daddy. Sleep good.”

Jim walked into their room and shut the door. He saw Blair jump when he heard the door shut. // Shit, he’s scared. //  
Jim locked the door and slid into bed with Blair. 

“Chief, I would never fuck around on you. Never. And that hurt so bad to have you ask about that woman. I called her, and I don’t know her. Honestly I don’t know her. You have to take my word for it. She says we met and partied in Seattle, but I didn’t. I swear. I love you, Blair. I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

“I believe you. I know you wouldn’t. This woman just threw me off my game. First of all, I’m sorry for believing her. Secondly I’m sorry for smacking your chest so hard and lastly, I told the kids you wouldn’t leave us, because I believed your feelings weren’t that important, I guess. I don’t know for sure. But I love you more than you’ll ever know. Today was a nightmare day for me. I hate being without you. Our kids are lost without you. And I never want to be without you. I love you.”

Jim held him for a long while getting his emotions under control. “Chief, I think someone slept with that woman and used my name. So can we meet her for lunch tomorrow?”

“Yes. That’s a good idea.” Blair kissed Jim’s welt on his chest. “Man, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You could kiss it and make it all better, Chief.”

Blair began to kiss Jim’s chest but he began to tremble and Jim pulled him closer. “It’s all right, baby. We’re going to be fine. Every day can’t be perfect.”

“Yes, it can, Jim. We just need to work on it more.”

“Okay, we’ll work on it more. For now, I’d like to sleep. I’m really tired.” Jim yawned and pulled the covers over them. 

“Goodnight, Jim.”

“Goodnight, Blair.”

Both men slept well, considering. It might have been exhaustion. 

In the morning, Jim was awakened to Jade lifting the cover up and staring at his erect penis. “Gooness Daddy, it looks really big today.”

“Jade, don’t stare at my penis.”

“I ain’t touching it. I’m just looking.” Jade gave him one of her Blair smiles. 

“That’s just the point. I don’t want you staring at it.” Jim explained. 

“Why?”

Jim hated five year olds at that moment. “Poppy, why do I not want Jade to stare at my penis?”

Blair yawned and moved closer to Jim and said, “I don’t know why. You’ll have to think up a reason on your own.”

“Daddy, you need to go potty. Your penis is leaking all over the your leg. Look, Poppy.” Jade ordered. 

Blair leaned over and stared at Jim’s penis, which decided to stand up hard and proud with his eyes watching. 

“Poppy, he’s going to potty in the bed.”

“If he does, I’ll have to give him a spanking, won’t I?” Blair smiled down at Jim and saw Jim squirm. 

Jim was blushing and was hard as a rock. He pulled the cover up over his penis and said, “Jade, from now on, you wait until I come out of the bedroom. If you stare at my penis anymore, I’m not going to let you take showers with me.”

“Okay. That’s a deal, Daddy.” Jade hopped off the bed and flew down the hallway. 

Blair ran over to the door and shut it and locked it. “Someone is going to get very lucky today.”

“Who?” Jim asked as he smiled evilly. 

“He’s in this room. He’s short, he’s got tons of hair and he’s the luckiest man alive. So he’ll make love to his man until he makes him scream.”

“Okay, that’s a deal, Poppy.”

In the kitchen Drake said, “Are they happy, Jadey?”

“Course they’re happy. Why wouldn’t they be?” Jade was honestly confused. 

“They were fighting yesterday and I thought Daddy was going to move out.

“Daddy might move out?” Jade almost screamed. 

Jim opened up the door and said, “Daddy will be right out, but I’m not moving anywhere. You’re all stuck with me. Drake would you get Rayne up?”

“Sure thing, Daddy.” Drake ran for Rayne’s room. 

“You can go back to kissing Poppy now, Daddy.” Jade smiled at her Daddy with much happiness. 

And Jim did just that. 

Maybe all days weren’t perfect, but most of them were. Jim felt like he was one of the luckiest men alive. 

In the bullpen, Jim called the woman to meet her for lunch and he and Blair went to the diner across the street. They asked Smith from Robbery to go with them. Blair wondered about it, but figured it had something to do with this woman. 

They all sat in a booth and a pretty woman walked into the diner and headed over to the men. “Hi Jim, how are you doing?”

“Do I know you?” Jim asked. 

“No, this Jim.” The woman pointed at Smith and he turned beet red. “You’re such an asshole. You told me a wrong name? That must mean you’re married, right? Oh this is so perfect.” She sighed and sat next to Jim. 

“Jim Ellison, it’s good to meet you.”

“Catherine Miller, good to finally meet the real one. Who is this scum?”

“That would be Tony Smith and he is a scum. I hope he didn’t do anything horrible.” Blair asked. “I’m Blair Sandburg, Jim’s partner.”

“Yes, I talked to you today, Blair. I’m so sorry.”

“Want to explain, Smith?” Jim asked, totally pissed off. 

“Oh don’t tell me you’ve never gotten tired of Sandburg and wanted to try something new and exciting. Look at this woman. She’s gorgeous, she’s fun and she’s new. I wanted to try her out.” Smith had to dodge the fist that came flying across the table. 

“Smith, get out of here. Jim’s pissed off. He’s going to hurt you.” Blair ordered him. 

“Please tell me he used protection when you were with him?” Jim asked. 

“Actually, he didn’t have to, because he passed out. And the next day he was gone. So you see, he wasn’t much fun at all.” Catherine laughed. 

They had a nice lunch and then she left the two men alone. She knew they needed some time to talk. 

“Chief, again, I’m so sorry for everything. And I know you are too. Let’s try harder.” 

“Jim, I do try harder. That’s as hard as it gets. Really.” Blair smiled and kissed Jim making the man hard immediately. 

“You’re going to pay for this Sandburg.” Jim got up to pay the bill and everyone could see the bulge in his pants. Blair was very proud of that bulge. 

When they got back to the bullpen, Blair kept watching Jim as he just kept stroking his cock through his jeans. Blair was about to come in his pants from that sight alone. 

Blair looked around and Rafe was smiling because he knew what Jim was doing to Blair. 

Connor walked up and said, “Need some help with that, Jimbo?”

“No, he doesn’t need any help with it. Jim, get your ass in the restroom. Now.” Blair beat him in there. 

Jim was thrown up against the wall as soon as he came in. “Chief, lock the door.”

“No, we’re going to give everyone a show, aren’t we Jim?”

Blair unzipped Jim’s jeans and pulled his pants down, followed by his boxers. Jim’s cock jutted out proudly as soon as the boxers let him escape. Blair took Jim’s cock into his mouth and began to suck deeply and intensely. 

Jim was moaning, but he was also listening for anyone coming near the door. He heard Simon approaching and said, “Chief, Simon’s coming.”

Blair continued to lick and suck even harder. Jim was so close. He wanted to come, but he had to listen for Simon too. Simon was right outside the door, as Blair slid a slick finger into Jim’s anus. Jim put his fist in his mouth to keep from crying out and he could hear Simon talking to four other people as he was pushing on the door. Jim couldn’t hold on anymore. He came hard and long. 

Blair pulled his boxers up and then his jeans and got him back in shape. “Feel better, Jim?”

Jim pulled Blair into his arms and said, “You have no idea how much I love you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you.” He then kissed him soundly. 

“Whoa. That was good. I love you too, big man.”

“Are we going to get some work done today?” Jim asked. 

“Nah, I thought we’d go up and torment Smith and tell him that she’s pregnant or something.” Blair laughed all the way back into the bullpen. 

“Not a bad idea, Chief. After we get our paperwork done, we can go and play.” Jim and Blair both got busy, so they could get an early start in Robbery. “And no more restroom fucks. Okay?”

“Sounds good to me.” Blair smiled at his love. 

Now this day had started out to be dreadful, and ended up being fucking fantastic, or would that be fantastic fucking? At any rate, either way, it works. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 63  
Every Day Can’t Be Perfect 

Thank you for coming.   
I’m still in that rut.   
It sucks.   
How long does writer’s block last?   
Anyone know?


	64. Everyone Takes a Survey!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone fills out a survey and they discuss their answers. It’s just a little inside look at the lives of the Bullpen crazies.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 64  
Everyone Takes A Survey!  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 07/24/03  
Category: Humor/Drama 

Disclaimer: I had the weirdest dream last night. Jim and Blair came to me and told me that they wanted me to own them. Then the wolf and the panther were there too. I really felt like it was fate, karma, kismet or something. At any rate then Jim said, “Patt do with me what you want.” Well fuck, what do with that remark? Blair said, “Patt we want to be all yours.” So I had to take this on now. I mean, it’s important. I called Pet Fly to tell them about the dream and how I now owned them, but they haven’t returned my call yet. I’m pretty fucking excited. Until they give their approval on this, the guys still belong to Pet Fly. I continue to make no money from this Series. (Someone remind me why I’m doing this again?)

Author’s Notes: Still have my block, but Sue sent this fun survey to me and figured I could work with it.   
Summary: Everyone fills out a survey and they discuss their answers. It’s just a little inside look at the lives of the Bullpen crazies.   
Warnings: m/m There is no plot whatsoever. Silliness abounds. No beta this time either. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 64  
Patt  
Everyone Takes a Survey!

For a change of pace, Blair sent out a survey and everyone was to fill it out and send it to the Sullivan’s Pub email address. He was so excited. They were all going to read their answers in the next two nights. 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: TopDog@aol.com  
To: SullivansCrew@aol.com

 

Blair’s answers to the survey. 

1\. What time is it? 4:39 pm

2\. Name:   Blair

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Blair Jacob Sandburg

4\. Nickname:   Chief 

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 32

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Auburn, or at least that's what Jim says.

9\. Body Piercing: ears, nipple, bellybutton and considering the penis one. 

10\. Eye color:  blue 

12\. Birth Place:  Cascade, WA 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade

14\. Favorite food:  any kind of pasta and fish

15\. Been to Africa?  Yes

16\. Been toilet papered? Just when I do it to myself.  

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  I get in accidents weekly with Jim.  

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?  Both of them are bad for you.  Stick with the greens and fresh veggies.  

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Days off.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  Reach for the sky, or I won't think twice about shooting your fat ass.  (Or skinny ass.)   My next favorite would be; "Hands up, body against the wall and spread em.  I don't think it’s that hard to understand.  Let me show you."

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Thai Heaven

23\. Favorite flower: Plants are better.  But if Jim was doing it, I'd like carnations. White, pink and yellow.  

24\. Favorite sport to play: Basketball with Jim.

25\. Favorite drink:  Water and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream: Dulce Delight. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant: Kentucky Fried Chicken.

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet: Chocolate Brown plush carpet. 

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  (I'm really smart.)

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  From one of my mailing lists and one from Jim.  I just like to mention his name now and then.  

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Barnes and Noble.

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Jim.  

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  So you guys are really a couple?  (No, you idiot, we just like to say it to have people ask that dumb question.)

35\. Bedtime: whenever I can get him up there!

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?  It won't be Jim.

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Simon and Jim.  

38\. Favorite TV show:  Everwood.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with: Adam, but I had to listen to Jim whine about it for a week.  So I won't do that again. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: I just bought a Hundai Santa Fe.  Very cool.  

41\. Tattoos: none 

42\. Favorite place to visit: I love Seattle.  Love the museums and the shows.  

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: hmmmm...maybe Seattle, or Peru.

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?  Australia!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject: Everything. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   WARM!!! MUGGY!!! (Take your pick)

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 6:00   I had to keep stopping to take care of my poor baby.  

 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: BottomBoy@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Jim's Answers:

1\. What time is it?  6:30 p.m. and he wasn't either taking care of me.  

2\. Name:   Jim

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate: James Joseph Ellison

4\. Nickname:   big man or just Jim.  

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 41

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color: two shades of brown

9\. Body Piercing: ears and belly button.  (I lost a bet, Simon.)

10\. Eye color:  blue, lighter than Blair's.   

12\. Birth Place:  Seattle, WA 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade, WA

14\. Favorite food:  Steak, potatoes and salad.  

15\. Been to Africa?  No

16\. Been toilet papered?  No, "Chief, get that damn paper away from me. 

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  Hasn't everyone?     

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?  Both. Please don't make me choose.  

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Sunday, we go to Home Depot and dream of what we could do to the house.  I always try and fuck him while in the store but he won't let me.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  "Chief, what in the fuck were you thinking about?" 2nd fave one is, "Did you leave your brain at home this morning?" I say that one to Simon a lot.  

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Wonder Burger

23\. Favorite flower: Roses and carnation combination.  

24\. Favorite sport to play: Basketball with Blair.  Basketball with naked Blair.  

25\. Favorite drink:  water and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  mint, chocolate chip. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant: taco bell or naked Blair.  

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet: We ain't got no stinkin carpet.  Hardwood floors for us.   We never fuck upstairs unless it's on the bed. Oh yeah, we haven’t got no stinkin upstairs anymore. Carpet is chocolate Brown.   

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  I got this from Blair. I also got a love note from him.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Home Depot. 

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Fuck, fuck and fuck. But we always save time to spend with the kids. 

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  Are you and Sandburg really a couple.  I always say, " A couple of what?"

35\. Bedtime:   In just a few moments.  Blair's sitting on the stairs, naked, waiting with his dick hanging down. It almost looks depressed. His dick, I mean. (I will be killed for that remark, so be sure and look for my body.)

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   Don’t care

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Simon

38\. Favorite TV show: Stargate SG1 We love Jack and Daniel.

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with: Simon and Joel.  

40\. Ford or Chevy: Ford

41\. Tattoos: None 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  I love Seattle.  Blair loves it there too.  He's always so relaxed.  I can fuck him more than when we're here.  (Again, I will die for this remark. Hunt for me, my friends.)

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: hmmmm...maybe Seattle, or Australia...

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?    Australia!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject: Shit, I hated school.  Seriously, The only part I loved is the part when I got to shoot things. Targets are your friends. Guns are your friends. Too bad that wasn’t until the military.   

46\. What is the weather like right now?  It’s a perfect time of year.  

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 6:30

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: BigBoss@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Simon’s answer’s. 

1\. What time is it? 7:00 pm

2\. Name: Simon

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Simon Matthew Banks  
4\. Nickname: Big Shot 

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 30-hee hee hee. 

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Black, but I don’t use it much. 

9\. Body Piercing: None thank god. 

10\. Eye color:  brown. 

12\. Birth Place:  Cascade, WA 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade

14\. Favorite food:  Steak and Seafood. 

15\. Been to Africa?  Yes

16\. Been toilet papered?  The first person that even tries it will get shot. 

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  I hear about Jim’s and that’s enough. We all live on Jim’s stories. 

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?   I’m not a big salad person. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  All days that I wake up and am still breathing.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  “Don’t call me Simon while we’re at work. Call me Captain Banks or Sir. Better yet, just call me to lunch.”

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Red Lobster

23\. Favorite flower: Red roses 

24\. Favorite sport to play: Golfing is nice. Sully and I do it together now. 

25\. Favorite drink:  Water and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  Chocolate Marshmallow. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant: Burger King

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet: Beige. 

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  Did anyone? 

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  All from Sully. She sends me little love notes while she’s at work. 

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Sports Shops

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Channel Surf.   

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  So what’s it like being married to a white woman? Oh this ones even better. Does it feel different screwing a white woman, then it is a black woman? 

35\. Bedtime: As soon as the kiddo is in bed, we’re there!

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   It won't be Jim.

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Actually, it should be me. But Sully’s making me do this.   

38\. Favorite TV show:  CSI, on Thursdays at 8:00 p.m.   

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with: Sully. Oh wait; I went one night with Joel and Jim. Sorry guys. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: Brand new Ford Harley Davidson Pickup. 

41\. Tattoos: none 

42\. Favorite place to visit: The mountains. I love camping. 

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: Seattle.

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?    Africa. I would love Sully to see it too!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject:  Science. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   Very nice, this is my favorite time of year. 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 8:30   I had to keep stopping to make love to my wife.  

 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: MsSully@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Sully’s answers. 

1\. What time is it?  8:39 pm

2\. Name:  Shannon

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Shannon Rae Sullivan  
4\. Nickname: Sully 

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 36

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Red and Simon says he loves a red head. 

9\. Body Piercing: ears and belly button. 

10\. Eye color:  Green 

Not to change the subject, but I wanted you all to know that Simone calls herself, Mony. Is that cute or what? So now she has her official nickname, Jim. I know how you like to give those kids the names. 

12\. Birth Place:  Cascade, WA 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade

14\. Favorite food: Salmon and cheese potatoes

15\. Been to Africa? No

16\. Been toilet papered? Simon, do they mean when we do it to ourselves. Oh. No.   

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  I just listen to stories that Blair tells me about Jim’s accidents. That keeps me from ever getting in one. 

19\. Croutons or bacon bits? I love both. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Friday, Saturday and Sunday. .  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  Harder baby, harder. Faster baby, faster. Give it to me, baby. Now, baby, now.

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Chinese Garden

23\. Favorite flower: Red Roses.

24\. Favorite sport to play: I love golf with Simon. He has very nice balls. 

25\. Favorite drink: iced tea and lemonade.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  Orange Sherbet. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant: Burger King

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet: Beige.

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  Once, I believed you could do it if you batted your eyes at the instructor. I got a woman. She didn’t like me. 

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  From Simon, he’s so sweet to me.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: The Baby Gap

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Play with Mony and then with Simon.  

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  Wow, is it true what they say about black men? 

35\. Bedtime:  If I hurry it up, soon. 

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   It won't be Jim.

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Simon and Jim.  They hate these things. But Blair and I make them fill them out. 

38\. Favorite TV show: Without A Trace.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with:  Sam and Dan took me out last night. It was great. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: Chevy Blazer.

41\. Tattoos: one, but I’m not telling. 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  New York. 

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: hmmmm...maybe Seattle, or Ireland. Don’t panic honey, I’m joking. 

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?  Ireland!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject: Math and science. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   WARM!!! 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 9:00   I ignored Simon’s begging the entire time. I’m coming. I’m coming. Oh Lord, I am coming. 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: BigGuy@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Joel’s answers. 

1\. What time is it?  9:09 p.m.

2\. Name:  Joel

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Joel Thomas Taggert. 

4\. Nickname:  Big Guy.

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 49

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Black.

9\. Body Piercing: ears

10\. Eye color:  Meggie says they are chocolate brown. 

12\. Birth Place:  Sioux City, Iowa 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade, WA

14\. Favorite food:  Pork Chops, Beans and rice. 

15\. Been to Africa?  No, but would like to. 

16\. Been toilet papered?  When I was young, my folks had it done to them. But no, never to me.   

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  No, never have, but I listen about Jim’s and don’t think I’m missing that much. 

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?   Love both and love salad bars. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Days off.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  Where is my little princess?  
And both Ellie and Megan answer me. 

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Saccony’s Italian Fine Dining. 

23\. Favorite flower:  Mums.  

24\. Favorite sport to play: Basketball with Jim, Blair, Simon, Brian and Henri. 

25\. Favorite drink:  Water and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  M&M’s Ice Cream. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant:  WonderBurger.

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet: Light Jade. I just say green, but Meggie corrects me and tells me it’s light jade. 

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  From Jim, he had to ask me something about work.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Home Depot.

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Put the babies and Ellie to sleep early and show my wife just how good it still can be.  

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  So does it bother you that she’s white? 

35\. Bedtime:  As soon as possible. 

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   It won't be Simon. So I would say Dan.

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Simon and perhaps Jim.  

38\. Favorite TV show:  Dead Zone.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with:  I went out with Simon and Jim the other night. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: Chevy Truck, four door.   
41\. Tattoos: none 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  I love Seattle.  

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: hmmmm...maybe Seattle, or Seattle. I don’t know. I can’t think. My wife is walking around naked, you wouldn’t be able to think either. 

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?  Australia.

45\. Favorite school subject: Everything. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   Beautiful. 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 9:36   What do you mean you have to do yours now. Shit. I wanted to fuck you. 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: BigGuysWife@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Connor’s answers. 

1\. What time is it?  9:39 p.m.

2\. Name:   Megan

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Megan Claire Connor  
4\. Nickname:   Meggie, Meg, Megan and Connor 

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 32

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Auburn, or at least that's what Joel says.

9\. Body Piercing:  ears, nipple and bellybutton. 

10\. Eye color:  brown 

12\. Birth Place:  Syndey, AUSTRALIA 

13\. Current Residence:  Cascade, WA

14\. Favorite food:  Steak and potatoes

15\. Been to Africa?  No.

16\. Been toilet papered?  Someone is going to have to explain because in my mind, everyone should be doing the toilet paper thing every time they’re in the bathroom.   

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?   Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  Yes, I get in them quite a bit while at work. People call me Jim for short. 

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?   Love them both. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Days off.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  “What you think because I’m a woman, I can’t hurt you? Bring it on, asshole.”

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Saccony’s Italian Restaurant

23\. Favorite flower: I like red roses or white ones. 

24\. Favorite sport to play:  Basketball with Joel, Jim, Blair, Dan, Brian, Henri and when the girls ever have their babies, them too.

25\. Favorite drink:  Water, iced tea and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  Vanilla. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant: WonderBurger.

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet:  Light Jade.

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  Okay, once. Twice, but no more. You Yanks have stupid driving rules. 

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  From Joel. Hi honey.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Exercise Equipment Shop.

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Make love to my baby.  

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  So how does it feel to have a black man make love to you? I want to just smack them senseless. But then I remember, they already are. 

35\. Bedtime:   whenever I finish this! 

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   Do we really care? 

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Again, do we really care?   

38\. Favorite TV show:  John Doe. What do you mean they canceled it? Joel, that fucking sucks. He’s a fellow Aussie. And he’s good. Damn it.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with: My husband, a week ago. I think it’s time again. He’ll have to take my mind off of losing John. God, I’m so fucking sad. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: Chevy Blazer, one year newer than Joel’s.

41\. Tattoos: Guess. 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  I love Seattle.  

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: hmmmm...maybe Seattle, or Australia.

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?    Australia!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject: Everything. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   It’s cold here in comparison to Australia. But I love it. 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 10:00   Oh Joel is making me forget all about John Doe. I hope you all have the same type of luck. 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: MedicineMan@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Dan’s answers. 

1\. What time is it?  10:03 p.m.

2\. Name:   Dan

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate:  Daniel Thomas Wolfe

4\. Nickname:   Dan or Danny

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 36

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Very dark brown, almost black. 

9\. Body Piercing:  ears

10\. Eye color:  dark brown

12\. Birth Place:  Cascade, WA 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade

14\. Favorite food:  Italian food

15\. Been to Africa?  No

16\. Been toilet papered?  You guys are past weird. No, never happened to me.   

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  No, but I hear about the ones that Jim and Megan have and it scares the crap out of me.

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?   Love them both. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Tuesday.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  “Yes, really, I’m a coroner. That’s right. I work on dead people. Sometimes they talk to me.”

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Saccony’s Italian

23\. Favorite flower:  Lily’s 

24\. Favorite sport to play:  Basketball with Jim, Blair, Simon, Rafe, Brown and the girls if they’re in shape. I also love to play football with the kids. They’re all so much fun. 

25\. Favorite drink:  Water, Juice and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  Strawberry Twirl. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant: WonderBurger.

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet: I would call that carpet, mint green, but chances are it’s light Jade like Megan’s. 

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  From Sam. She sends me love notes all the time.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Baby Gap.

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored:  Watch movies and make love. Sam likes to multi-task and do both at the same time. 

 

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  I’ve had people ask me if it bothers me that I’m heavier than Sam. And I always tell them, well hell she never complains when I make her carry me. 

35\. Bedtime:  Every chance we can get!

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   Sam

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  I think everyone will respond.  

38\. Favorite TV show:  Hack.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with:  We took Brian and Henri out one night. I think that was the last time we were out. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: Hundai Santa Fe, just like Blair’s but a different color. 

41\. Tattoos: Sam, have you seen any tattoos on me? 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  Wyoming. 

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: hmmmm...maybe Seattle, or Wyoming.

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?  Australia!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject:  Everything. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   It’s very nice. Not too hot and not too cold. 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 10:18   Bedtime. Bye all. 

 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: Legalbroad@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Sam’s Answers.

1\. What time is it?  10:21 p.m.

2\. Name:   Sam

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Samantha Jean Sullivan

4\. Nickname: Sam or Sammy

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 30

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Very red, Danny says. 

9\. Body Piercing: ears 

10\. Eye color: Green 

12\. Birth Place:  Cascade, WA 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade

14\. Favorite food:  Fish and chips

15\. Been to Africa?  No

16\. Been toilet papered?  For some reason I’m laughing my butt off here. No.  

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?    Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  Boy, I hear about Meggie’s and Jim’s and I don’t ever want to get into one. 

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?   I love salad bars and love both of these. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Tuesday.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  Fuck me baby. 

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Saccony’s Italian

23\. Favorite flower:  Red Roses 

24\. Favorite sport to play:  I can’t play right now, but love to watch all of our boys play football and basketball.

25\. Favorite drink:  Water, lemonade and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  Strawberry. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant:  WonderBurger

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet:  It’s light Jade.

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  From Danny telling me that he’s waiting in our room. I have to hurry.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card:  Baby Gap.

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Make love and then play with the kids.  

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  I’ve had numerous people ask me if it bothers me to be covered with freckles and married to Dan with the gorgeous skin tone. Pisses me off. I always feel like I’m not good enough then. But Dan reminds me. He’s sending another email now. Oh damn, he’s starting without me. I must hurry. 

35\. Bedtime:  Soon!

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   Brian

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  I think we all will.   

38\. Favorite TV show:  The Guardian.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with: I went with Danny and Rafe and Brown one night last week. 

40\. Ford or Chevy:  We just bought two Hundai Santa Fe’s.  Danny’s is black and mine is teal green.   

41\. Tattoos: Not telling. 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  I love Seattle.  

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: hmmmm...maybe Seattle, or Alaska.

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?  Australia!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject: Social Studies, Law, Math, and Science. Oh hell, just about everything. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   Very nice out. 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 10:36   I’m coming Danny. I’m coming. Oh shit, he just said he was coming. Damn. 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: MrGQ@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Rafe’s Answers

 

1\. What time is it?  10:39 p.m.

2\. Name:   Rafe

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate:  Brian Allen Rafe

4\. Nickname:  Rafe, Brian or Bri. 

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 36

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Very dark brown

9\. Body Piercing:  ears, nipple, 

10\. Eye color:  brown 

12\. Birth Place:  San Angelo, TX 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade, WA

14\. Favorite food:  Shrimp and rice

15\. Been to Africa?  Yes

16\. Been toilet papered?  No  

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  Yes

18\. Been in a car accident?  No, I’ve never had one, but I was with Connor the other day and we got into one and I was scared out of my mind. That woman is insane. She has no fucking fear. 

 

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?   I don’t use either. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Any that are paid.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  Do you feel lucky punk? Well do ya? Or, “Go ahead and make my day.”

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Saccony’s Italian

23\. Favorite flower: White roses 

24\. Favorite sport to play:  Basketball with Henri and football with all of the kids.

25\. Favorite drink:  Water and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  I don’t like ice cream. Okay, I do but I don’t like to eat it much. If I did, it would be Chocolate fudge chunks. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant: Burger King.

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet? We have carpet? I never even noticed it before. Seriously, it’s slate gray, and it’s beautiful. 

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  I got one from Joel saying how stupid this survey was that he had just filled out. I’m teasing. It was from Connor telling me not to forget something for our case tomorrow. She’s a friggin slave driver.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card:  Vavra’s.

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Make love, dance, watch movies and be a family. 

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  So when did you decide you wanted to become gay? 

35\. Bedtime:  Whenever I can get him in there!

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   Like who cares? 

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Like who still cares?   

38\. Favorite TV show:  Reno 911. Sorry, I had to put that. I’ve never even seen it, but it looks funny on the commercials. My favorite show is NYPD Blue.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with: I think it was Sam and Dan. And of course my baby. No, that is Henri. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: H and I both have Dodge Durango’s. 

41\. Tattoos: none 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  I love Seattle.  

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: I would never move. I’m too happy here.

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?  Australia!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject: Everything. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   Gorgeous. 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 10:55   Hurry it up, baby. Then I’ll take good care of you. 

 

Subj: Survey by Blair and Jim. Sue sent me the ammo   
Date: 7/22/03 5:01:03 PM US Mountain Standard Time  
From: MusicMan@aol.com  
To: Sullivan’sCrew@aol.com

 

Henri’s answers

1\. What time is it?  11:00 p.m.

2\. Name:   Henri

3\. Name as it appears on birth certificate:  Henri Franklin Brown

4\. Nickname:  Henri, H or Brown. 

5\. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 32

7: Pets: none 

8\. Natural Hair color:  Black when I grow it. 

9\. Body Piercing:  ears, nipple 

10\. Eye color:  brown

12\. Birth Place:  Cascade, WA 

13\. Current Residence: Cascade

14\. Favorite food:  Steak and Potatoes

15\. Been to Africa?  Yes

16\. Been toilet papered?  Nope.  

17\. Love someone so much it made you cry?  Oh Yeah.

18\. Been in a car accident?  No. But Connor and Ellison get in enough for all of us. 

19\. Croutons or bacon bits?   Love both. 

20\. Favorite day of the week:  Sunday.  

21\. Favorite word or phrase:  “Don’t make me come over there and hurt you.”

22\. Favorite Restaurant:  Golden Dragon Chinese

23\. Favorite flower:  Sunflowers 

24\. Favorite sport to play:  Basketball with Bri and football with all of the kiddos.

25\. Favorite drink:  Water, tea and beer.  

26\. Favorite Ice cream:  Strawberry. 

28\. Favorite fast food restaurant:  WonderBurger

29\. What color is your bedroom carpet: I know this one. I really do. It’s slate Gray. Bri taught me well didn’t he? 

30\. How many times did you fail your drivers test:  none.  

31\. Besides this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?  From Bri. He’s such a romantic. He sends me love notes.   

32\. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Baby Gap.

33\. What do you do most often when you are bored: Play with the kids, play with Bri and play with Bri some more. 

34\. Most annoying thing people ask/tell me:  So do you think Brian will stay with you, since he’s not really gay? 

35\. Bedtime:  Soon, very soon!

36\. Who will respond to this email the quickest?   I don’t have a clue.

37\. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond?  Again, clueless.  

38\. Favorite TV show:  Law and Order, Criminal Intent, it’s on Sunday nights at 8:00.  

39\. Last person you went out to dinner with: I think we went out with Dan and Sam. 

40\. Ford or Chevy: We have new Dodge Durango’s.

41\. Tattoos: none 

42\. Favorite place to visit:  I love Seattle.  

43\. Where would you live if you could move right now: I’m not sure I would move. We’re pretty settled.

44\. Where would you go if you had a free, round-trip airline ticket?  Australia!!!!

45\. Favorite school subject:  Math. 

46\. What is the weather like right now?   Very warm and sunny. 

47\. Time you finished this e-mail: 11:20 p.m.   I’m going to make him come so hard, he’ll be screaming loud enough for all of you to hear. But don’t tell him I said that. Night everyone.


	65. Welcome Matthew Daniel Banks and Dakota and Shannon Wolfe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New babies, new arguments, new making up and new whatever else we want. Use your imagination.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 65  
Welcome Matthew Daniel Banks  
And  
Dakota and Shannon Wolfe  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor

Date: August 8, 2003  
Status: new  
Archive: You know it.   
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this. 

Notes: I’m still suffering from block. It’s been bad. Anyone want to offer advice? 

Warning: m/m bad language. (I figure if you know me, you know it will have this.) No beta. 

Summary: New babies, new arguments, new making up and new whatever else we want. Use your imagination. 

***********************************************************

Sullivan’s Pub Part 65  
Welcome Matthew Daniel Banks  
And  
Dakota and Shannon Wolfe

Patt

“Chief, get the lead out. We’re going to be late.”

“Shove it.” Blair shouted as he walked by. 

“What did I do now?”

“Nothing, I just hate you.”

“Well as long as it’s something mature. I hate you too.” Jim stuck his tongue out and Drake kicked him in the shin as he walked over to Blair. 

“Ow. Drake we’re joking around.” Jim rubbed his shin and glared at Blair. 

“Sorry, it looked like you were being mean to him. I’m really sorry Daddy.” Drake put on his cutest Blair face and Jim sighed as he hugged him and said, “It’s all right.”

Linda arrived and the boys went out for the evening. Blair was driving because he won the coin toss. Jim was crammed into his Santa Fe unhappy as hell. 

“I think Drake broke my fucking shin.”

“Jim, he’s six. Give it a rest.”

“Did he kick you? I think not. I bet there’s a bruise.” Jim pouted. 

“I’m sure there is probably a bruise. Man, you are such a drama queen. But he’s not big enough to break anything. Now I am. So shut up about it.” Blair was done ranting by this time. 

“I have something to ask you, Blair.”

“So ask, I know I’m not going to be able to stop you.”

“Fuck you, Sandburg. You’re an asshole tonight.”

“Ellison, I’m your asshole every night. What’s the big deal?” Blair had raised his voice up a notch. 

“You sick of sex with me, Sandburg? Is that the problem? If you want out, leave.” Jim hopped out of the Santa Fe when Blair stopped at the stop sign. 

“That went really well, Sandburg.” Blair was so tired of them arguing. Couldn’t they get along like everyone else? What if everyone else fought like this too? Scary thought. 

Blair walked into Sullivan’s Pub, alone and everyone tensed up. 

“Where’s Ellison?” Simon growled. 

“We had a fight on the way over and he left me.” Blair looked like a kicked puppy. 

“Sandburg, he didn’t leave you. He’s just pissed off. What did you do?” Simon asked. 

“Simon, maybe he didn’t do anything. Maybe your precious Jim Ellison did something.” Sully shouted. 

“Please don’t fight. I want to have a good night.” Blair never looked sadder. 

“What are we doing tonight, Megan?” Sam asked, trying to change the subject. 

“I think you might like it. It’s Chinese fortune cookie sayings.” Connor was excited. 

“I don’t want to spoil the night, but let’s hurry. I’m having pains right now.” Sully said. 

“We better go to the hospital.” Simon stood to leave. 

“I’m not going until I’m ready to deliver. Matthew is taking his sweet time.”

“I wish Jim was here to keep an ear on his little heartbeat.” Simon said softly. 

Blair picked up his cell and called Jim. “Ellison.”

“Jim?”

Jim hung up on him, very quickly. “He’s being really mature tonight.” Blair dialed again and heard, “Ellison.”

“It’s an emergency.”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Jim was nervous right away. 

“Sully’s having pains and Simon would like you to be here to tell them if you notice any changes. Sully won’t go up to the hospital until her pains are about four minutes apart. I’m sorry Jim. I love you.”

There was complete silence at the other end and Jim finally said, “I love you too. I’ll be there in two minutes.”

“Two minutes? Where are you?” Blair asked quietly. 

“One block away trying to get the nerve up to apologize to you. I’m sorry, Blair.”

“Tell him to get off the phone and get his ass over here.” Simon bellowed. 

“Tell Simon to look out the window.” Jim said with a smile in his voice. 

“Jim says to look out the window.” Blair repeated. 

Simon stomped over to the window and was saw his lead detective’s ass. Jim Ellison was mooning his boos. “You tell him to get his sweet ass in here, or I’ll go out there and embarrass him.”

“You hear him?” Blair asked laughing. 

“Look over your shoulder.” Jim was standing at the doorway with a big smile on his face. 

Blair took off running and jumped into Jim’s arms. “We have to stop doing this shit.”

“Loving each other?” Jim asked. 

“No, fighting.”

“Agreed. Let’s go and have some fun. Hey everyone.” Jim yelled.

Everyone greeted Jim and Simon felt better with Jim sitting next to Sully. Jim leaned in and kissed her belly and smiled. “He’s active tonight.”

“But not bad. Still about 26 minutes apart. I don’t want to go too soon.” Sully explained. 

“I don’t blame you.” Sam and Connor both said at the same time. 

Connor: Okay, everyone we’re going to start this thing. Sully if you have pains kick someone.

Joel: Well that’s not very nice.

Connor: Have you had a baby, Joel? I think not. 

Sully: Jim’s right here next to me. I’ll use him.

Jim: (Smiling) Oh goody. 

Rafe: Are we going to do this or not? 

Connor: Don’t make me hurt you, Brian. 

Rafe: Sorry. 

Brown: I swear you can get him to apologize faster than anyone. I think we should have a contest at work. She’d win, Joel. 

Connor: Off we go, everyone. No complaining, only good things said, and no fighting.

 

Connor: The love of your life will appear in front of you unexpectedly.

Rafe: Man, I got this one two weeks before I fell in love with Henri. 

Brown: You never told me that. 

Rafe: Shit, now everyone knows I’m mushy. 

Jim: We already knew it, Rafe. 

Blair: I never got this one, but I believe in this saying. 

Sully: Same here. I have proof. 

Simon: (Beaming) Thank you, sweetheart. I love you. 

Joel: I never got the cookie either, but I sure got the wish. 

Connor: You are such a sweet man. I love you. 

Dan: I did get this one and then the woman turned out to be a bitch. So I was very depressed. But then I met Sam, and my life has been fantastic since. 

Blair: Was it Cyn? 

Dan: I can’t believe you remembered her name. Yes, that’s who it was. 

Sam: I’m the lucky one, Danny. You remember that. 

Dan: Thank you, baby. (Kissing begins.) 

Simon: I hate when there is kissing and it’s not me.

Sully: You want to kiss Sam?

Simon: NO!!!!! I meant I want you and me to be kissing. 

Brown: I’ll kiss ya. 

Simon: Shut up Brown. 

Jim: I love when everyone kisses. 

Simon: Wait, that sounds like fun. You mean we all get to kiss each other?

Jim: No. You know what I mean. 

Simon: I just had to tease you, Jim. 

Dan: I’m going to kiss some more if there aren’t more things to discuss. 

Simon: That’s my job. 

 

Connor: This is really a lovely day. Congratulations.

Simon: What the hell does this mean? 

Sully: Are they telling us that most days are bad, so if it’s a good one, congratulations?

Jim: I think so, Sully. 

Blair: I think it’s a little depressing. 

Sully: I do too, Blair. 

Sam: Me also. 

Dan: I think it’s okay. They’re just telling us we’re very lucky to have one of the good days. So that’s a good thing. 

Brown: But Dan, they can’t guarantee that the day will be good. It’s just a saying.

Rafe: Yeah, what he said. 

Dan: I try to look at things happily. Sorry. 

Joel: I do too, Dan. And I agree with you. 

Brown: So we have two saps in the group.

Jim: There is no need to call them names. 

Brown: Everyone that’s surprised that Jim stuck up for Joel raise their hand.

Jim: Fuck you, Brown. 

Rafe: Not if I’m around. 

Jim: Well let me change that. Fuck you, Brown, when Rafe isn’t around. 

Simon: That was good. It sounded like a little poem. 

Sully: Jim, how am I doing? 

Jim: They’re 20 minutes apart and you’re dilating and your water is ready to break. 

Sully: It’s so great having him around. 

Blair: I know. He is good to have around. (Blair pulled him into a kiss.)

Simon: I think we could move this along now.

Rafe: If we wanted to I guess. 

Brown: Or if want to continue this we could. 

Simon: Shut up. Once I say we’re moving, we’re moving. 

 

Connor: Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for. 

Brown: This is the type I get. Boring. 

Rafe: Me also. 

Joel: I like this one. It means you make your own life. If it’s bad, it’s no one’s fault but your own. 

Connor: Honey bear, that is so true. (Sends kisses his way.)

Simon: Could you get any more sickening? 

Connor: I could get naked and he could start fucking me. Would that make you happier? 

Simon: Actually, that doesn’t sound that bad. 

Sully: Only you would think that. Simon, I had another one. 

Jim: I’m writing them down. They’re 11 minutes apart now. 

Blair: He’s like having your very own timer. 

Sully: But a more sweet or cute timer I could never ask for. 

Jim: (Leaned in for a kiss.) That was very nice Sully. 

Simon: What about me?

Jim: (Leaned into Simon and kissed him hard.)

Rafe: I think they’re enjoying that a little too much. 

Brown: I’m enjoying it too much. I’m next Ellison. 

Blair: Nope. I’m next.

Dan: How come I don’t get a kiss? Geeze, Simon always gets the good stuff. 

Sam: Excuse me. Did you forget who gives you good stuff all the time?

Dan: Sorry honey. I was just joking. 

Joel: What about that nice saying at the start of this? 

Jim: Sully, you’re up to seven minutes. It’s time to go. 

Sully: Jim I don’t want to go until I’m ready to deliver. 

Her water broke and her pains started coming fast and hard. 

“You might have just got your wish, woman.” Jim pulled her panties off and laid her back on the table. Dan, would you like to do the honor’s?”

“I love delivering babies. I do it so damn often, Ellison.” Dan growled at him. 

“Fine, I’ll do it.” Jim shoved Dan aside. 

Sam got up to the top of the table and said, “Look Sully you have two men fighting over your twat.”

“Sam, stop it.” Dan wasn’t happy with that remark. 

Dan shoved Jim aside and took a look to see how far she was dilated. The baby started crowning and Dan said, “Jim, go help her sit up a little and push.”

“You want me to push? Push what?” Jim said trying to lighten up the moment. 

“Push, Sully.” Dan commanded and she did just what he said. A very nervous Simon stood beside Jim kissing Sully, hoping everything would be all right. 

Sully let out a blood curdling scream when the baby’s head came out. It could have been caused from tearing to make room. This baby was huge. “Simon, you’re going to get it when you least suspect it.” Sully cried in anguish. 

“I’m sorry, Sully. I’m so sorry.” Simon just kept kissing her hoping it would help. 

“I love you Simon.”

“I love you, Sully. Give me a good baby.” Simon smiled after he pulled away from her. 

“Go with Dan and watch your son be born.” Sully was trying to keep herself in control now. Simon went down and watched Matthew be born. 

Sully pushed four more times and her son was out. He was big indeed. They would later find out he weighed 10 pounds. His skin was the color of mocha coffee with a lot of cream. Just like Simon drank his. But the sweet part was his hair. It was just like Sully’s. His skin was more like Simon’s but not the hair. 

Sully began to cry and Simon ran up to her and kissed her. “Baby, he’s beautiful. He’s just beautiful. He looks just like you.” 

“No one was saying anything. I thought something was wrong.” Sully was still crying. 

Sam walked over and said, “Oh Sully, he’s got your hair. Is that precious Jim?”

“Yup. It sure is. He’s just darling and I swear he has to weigh at least ten pounds.” Jim added. 

The Ambulance came and took Sully, Simon and Matthew to the hospital. Everyone was in total awe. 

They all helped and got the place all cleaned up. No blood could be found anywhere. Jim was in charge of that. 

“Wasn’t he gorgeous?” Rafe asked no one in particular. 

“I think so too.” Brown answered him. 

“I think we all think each other’s baby’s are beautiful. Which is great.” Joel said smiling. 

Jim looked around and said, “There isn’t a bad one among them. They’re all beautiful.”

Blair moved over towards Jim and smiled, “I love when he gets all mushy.”

“I thought you liked when I got hard?”

“Very funny. Knock it off. Or I will.” Blair laughed at the look on Jim’s face. 

Once they were all sitting again, Megan said, “Should we continue? Or go to the hospital?”

“They won’t let anyone see them right away. Let’s finish up.” Dan said knowingly. 

Connor: Here we go. 

 

Connor: Friends long absent are coming back to you.

Blair: That scares the hell out of me. Thanks, Connor. 

Jim: It’s okay, babe. I’ll be by your side. 

Blair: You were the one I was thinking about. 

Laughter broke out and Jim glared at Blair. 

Blair: I’m teasing. I love you. 

Rafe: Sandburg, he’s turning you into a wuss. 

Brown: And you would know this from experience?

Again, laughter broke out. 

Joel: He would know that because he’s a butthead. 

Connor: Joel must be angry, so you better be good, Brian. 

Rafe: Joel, you don’t scare me.

Brown: He scares me. I saw him hit someone once when they least expected it. 

Rafe: Who?

Brown: Me. And it hurt like hell. 

Laughter was contagious this evening. 

Dan: I thought that was a nice saying and if I got one in my cookie, I’d hope to see Jeremy. 

Sam: Who’s Jeremy? 

Dan: An old dear friend. And I’ve not seen him in years. So if he showed up I would be in heaven. 

Joel: This is the way we should take it. A good friend showing up out of the blue. Not a dead best friend. 

Rafe: Can I have Simon’s job? 

Joel: While he’s at the hospital?

Rafe: No, here. I can tell everyone it’s time to move along. 

Connor: Very good. You’ve got the job. 

 

Connor: Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for. 

 

Jim: I love this one. We make out own peace each day. I love it. 

Joel: I do too, Jim. 

Blair: Hey, it was my turn. I think it’s well thought. 

Rafe: Okay, I agree on this one. Very nice. 

Brown: I like the tee shirt ones better. About dicks and boobs. 

Jim: Brown, don’t think I won’t smack you. 

Brown: I live for it, Jim. 

Dan: I would wear this on a tee shirt. Would you, Sammy? 

Sam: Sure would. I love this saying too. 

Brown: Does anyone else miss Sully and Simon? (Looking sad.)

Everyone: We do!

Rafe: I think we could easily move on now. 

Connor: Wow, have you been practicing or what?

 

Connor: Feel the tingle, it's your time to mingle.

Blair: (Falling out of his chair.) I love this. Now I would put this on a tee shirt. 

Jim: It’s sad. 

Blair: That saying? 

Jim: No, that you would put tingle and mingle on your chest. 

Blair: Jim, you’re turning me on. Stop it. 

Rafe: That’s more than we wanted to hear. Did it sound like Simon?

Brown: Just like him, Bri. 

Rafe: Cool. I love this saying and I would put it on a tee shirt too. 

Brown: I might. 

Joel: I wouldn’t. 

Conner: I would. 

Sam: I would too. But then all I’d have to do is look at my belly and remember that’s how I got in this shape in the first place. 

Dan: Are you sorry you’re pregnant?

Sam: Of course not, silly boy. I adore our baby and am looking forward to waking up to twins every night. Have I mentioned how scared I am?

Dan: (Pulled her into his arms.) It’s going to be fine, baby. 

Rafe: We’ve spent enough time here. Move it or lose it, Connor. 

 

Connor: Frequent conversations will fill your heart with joy. 

Blair: See Jim. People do have conversations. 

Jim: Very funny, smart-ass. 

Joel: We have great conversations at our house. 

Connor: But honey it doesn’t count if you’re talking to yourself in the mirror. 

Joel: She’s kidding. We talk a lot. 

Dan: We do too. I love our conversations. 

Sam: He’s one of the few people that likes to talk as often as we fuck. Sorry, didn’t mean to say that. 

Rafe: Cool, he fucks and talks. Maybe there is hope for me, H. 

Brown: I don’t think so. (Laughing)

Rafe: Well then, no reason to keep talking on this one. Let’s move it on down. 

 

Jim’s phone went off and he answered, “Ellison.”

“Just wanted to let you know everything is fine. Matthew weighed in at 10.1. You were right. And Sully would like you to tell Dan that Matthew’s name is Matthew Daniel. So he and his sister will share the same middle more or less. Sully feels great and hopes to see you all tomorrow.” Simon said goodbye and Jim closed his phone. 

“Dan, you have another baby named after you.” Jim smiled. 

“Wait a minute, our names are still open.” Blair said laughing. 

“So it’ll be Matthew Daniel?” Dan asked. 

“Yup, do you like it?” Jim answered. 

“Can I run our names by all of you tonight. We decided on a new name. One of my favorite cousins had this name, so Danny said to use it.” Sam was very excited. 

Dan smiled and said, “Let me tell them.”

“Go for it.” She answered. 

“For the first born we chose Dakota Danielle Sullivan Wolfe. And then her little sister will be Shannon Danielle Sullivan Wolfe. What do you think?”

“I love it. Shanny for Shannon and Koty for Dakota. Perfect.” Jim smiled over at Dan. 

“I do too.” Blair got up and kissed Dan on the cheek and then Sam on the cheek also.

Rafe and Brown both agreed that they were terrific names. Connor and Joel loved both of the names and wished the babies were here.

Sam smiled and said, “It won’t be long. My water just broke.”

“Sam, were you going to tell us?” Dan was jumping around like a mad person. 

“Hot shot, I’ll take over here.” Jim pushed Dan aside and said, “I need to time the pains.”

“They were about ten minutes apart, but they’re speeding up now.” Sam sounded scared. 

Jim called for an ambulance and then got Sam on the table. Joel said, “Want me to help you, Jim?”

“Yeah, that would be good. Dan you stay up by her face. Let her see you and stop spazing out.” Jim ordered. 

The pains were coming a lot faster and Jim saw the head crowning. As soon as he did he instructed Rafe and Brown to help her get up so she could push better. They all helped. Blair was playing a jack-of-all-trades. Jim was very proud of him. 

The first baby popped out, and it looked just like Dan. Black hair and darker skin. Very sweet. But she was maybe 3 pounds. So tiny, Jim wanted to hold her all night. Blair took her and said, “Hello, Dakota. Welcome to your new world.” Blair was beaming at them and they all had to smile. Shannon was out in another moment. The delivery was really easy. Jim and Blair got the cords all clamped off and they were just waiting for the ambulance to take them away. Jim welcomed Shannon and he swore she smiled. 

The EMT’s walked in and got Sam on a cot and wheeled her out. The other two took the babies. 

“Dan call and let us know how things are. Good luck to all of you.” Jim called out. 

They all had to make a trip to the restroom to clean up. Then they put gloves on and cleaned up the room and finally relaxed and waited. 

“Do you think Simon will come tonight?” Rafe asked. 

“I would.” Joel said. 

Simon walked through the door at that moment and said, “I see it must be in the air. I just talked to Dan. I have to change something. He took the baby’s picture and wrote something more on it. Then he turned to everyone and handed them their little pictures. 

 

Joel: Why is Meggie’s name in there, Simon?

Simon: Because Dan said they were trying to use everyone’s names in naming their twins, but there was nowhere to put Connor or Megan. So we used it. 

Connor hugged her boss and cried a little. “He’s beautiful, Simon.”

“He looks like Sully. He’s precious.” Simon was just beaming. 

“Oh, here are you pictures of Tristan. Dan in his hurry forgot all about giving them to you. Sorry.” Simon handed them out. 

 

“Oh he’s so cute. I just love this little guy.” Rafe smiled while looking at the picture. 

“Brown that we don’t love all of the kids, but I swear, he and Rayney are going to be the nicest kids in the world.” Brown crowed. 

“Are you forgetting about Remington?” Jim scolded Brown. 

“No, but he’s not as old yet.”

Blair said, “Enough. They’re all good kids, they’re precious and perfect. I’m so grateful that I get to share in all of this with you.”

Simon stood up and pulled Blair into a hug and said, “I hate crying, Sandburg.”

“Sir, it wasn’t meant to make you cry. It was meant to make you realize how much I love all of you.” Blair tried to tap dance, but he wasn’t getting away. 

Simon kissed the top of his head and whispered, “I know why he loves you so much. You’re precious.” Then he went back and sat down. 

When Blair sat back down, Jim pulled him close and whispered, “That is why I love you.”

They all talked about their families and what was going on for about two hours. They saw Dan come walking in, all excited. 

“They are so fucking cute. They’re not as dark as the pictures. They’re just kinda red right now. Here you go.”

 

Dakota is named after Brian, Henri and us. What do you think, guys?

Henri: This is so nice. I love this name. 

Rafe: I’m with Simon. I don’t want to cry. I love the names together. Very nice. Thank you. 

Dan: No, thank you. 

 

Dan: Okay, Shannon is named after Blair and Joel and Jim. Jim we had to add you to Joel. Because there was no other way to do it. And there was no way I was naming her Shannon Jim Joel Blair. 

Everyone laughed. 

Jim: I love it. She’s beautiful. They both are. 

Blair: Now you have me crying. Thank you, Dan. They’re just lovely babies. 

Joel: I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much. I love you and Sam both. Hug her for me when you go back up. 

Connor: Oh we all loved the picture of Tristan. He’s gotten so big. 

Dan: (Beaming) Thank you. I’m going home to be with him. Then we’ll go see Mommy and Sister’s in the morning. 

Jim: I’m going home and hugging our kids. It’s in the air. 

Everyone said goodbye to the other and they were on their way. 

Life was indeed good. 

Welcome to the world, Dakota, Shannon and Matthew. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 65  
Welcome Matthew Daniel Banks  
And  
Dakota and Shannon Wolfe

Thank you for coming.


	66. 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

Sullivan's Pub Part 66  
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity  
Part 1  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S  
   
Status: Complete  
Date: 08/15/03  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to us. I wish they did, but they   
don't. But if they ever do, I'll share. In the meantime, I'll put   
them back when I'm done.  (I'm a big fat liar; I would never share.)  
   
   
Author's Notes: Silliness abounds. The second part of this one will be in the next few days.   
   
Summary: 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

Warnings: m/m WARNING: Simon/Sully Sex, sex, sex.   
No beta.   
   
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 66  
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity   
Patt

Connor: Hurry it up you two. We’re ready to go. And it’s going to be a fun one tonight. 

Sam: I’m so damn happy to get out; I don’t care what we do. 

Sully: I’m there, hon.

Connor: Well so am I, but it’s going to be fun. 

Jim: So stop bitching about us being late and get started. 

Blair: I love you all too. (Laughing.)

Connor: Okay, it’s 20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity. I figure we all know this first hand. We’ll see how many we can get through tonight. 

 

Connor: 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 

Joel: (Falls out of his chair.) Meggie, I’m going to get you for this later. (Still laughing.)

Jim: I love it. I’d do it. 

Blair: Whoa. Did you all hear Jim say he’d try it? Our Jim is growing up. I’m so proud and so depressed at the same time. 

Jim: Shut up, Chief. 

Rafe: I would do this. 

Brown: No way. You’re just saying that because Ellison did. 

Rafe: I have a mind of my own.

Brown: But it’s very small minded when it comes to fun. 

Rafe: Thanks a lot, H. (Glaring at Henri)

Dan: It’s so funny and I don’t think you’d have to be a cop to make it work for ya. 

Sam: So we could do it every night at the corner of our neighborhood?

Simon: NOOOOOOOOOO! Don’t even talk about it. 

Sully: I could sit in your back seat and write out the tickets. 

Simon: Don’t encourage them, Sully. 

Sully: Simon you need to loosen up honey. You’re way too anal. (She falls out of her seat laughing her ass off and no one knows why except for Jim and Sully.)

Simon: (Whispers) Please don’t bring that up here.

Sully: (Whispering back.) If you want that tonight, you better lighten up big boy.

Simon: Connor, let’s move to the next one and see if I can piss anyone else off.

 

Connor: 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 

 

Joel: Oh god, this is too funny. I’m doing it tomorrow. Just warning you, Simon. 

Simon: Work is called work for a reason. Please don’t make me yell at you in front of others. 

Sully: Simon may I speak to you please?

Simon: Shit… He followed Sully into her office and he said, “What did I do now?”

“Pants and boxers off now.” Sully commanded. 

“Sully, we’re here for the survey.” Simon whined. 

“Do you want me to fuck your ass, Simon?”

Simon had his clothes off in record time. “Hands and knees big boy.” 

There was no argument. She started loosening him up with her fingers and lube. When he was ready she slid a small dildo into his ass. When she turned the vibration on Simon was almost ready to come. 

“Sully, I want to come.”

“Then come, big boy.” Sully turned the speed up on the dildo and Simon almost screamed when she hit his prostate. He came hard and fast and then landed on the floor. 

Sully got him all cleaned up and the floor too, and told him to get back on his knees. He looked over his shoulder and saw Sully was naked and he said, “Honey, I can’t get it up again for anything.”

Then he looked at what she was doing. She was wearing a strap-on. She was going to fuck Simon and this made him instantly hard. 

He was already loose, so she slid right in and it was wonderful. There was something that played with her clit while she fucked him. She was so into it, that she was spanking his ass and banging him at the same time. Simon came two more times. She finally pulled out and cleaned him up and herself too. They both got dressed and Simon walked back to the room. 

Everyone saw how Simon was walking and almost burst out laughing. “Having fun, boss?” Jim asked. 

“Oh yeah. She keeps me hopping.”

Sully walked in and said, “I taped it for us Simon and I would like to share it with everyone else.” 

“Sully, no. Please.” Simon was frantic. 

“What the heck were you two doing?” Sam asked. 

“None of anyone’s business.” Simon snapped.

Sully whispered something to Sam and she smiled. Then Sam whispered to Connor and the same smile appeared. Simon just knew they were all going to know that his wife fucked him and he loved it. 

Little did Simon know that she sent a video on the Computer to Sam and Connor, because they’ve wanted to know if they could actually do this to their men. So they could see her little slut boy.

Connor: Time to move on.

 

Connor: 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, or if you know where something is, ask if they want fries with that. 

Joel: Meggie, I love this one. They’re all funny. 

Jim: This is a riot. I already say this sometimes. 

Blair: Why are you all laughing? He really does. 

Rafe: I’ve heard him do it too.

Dan: Well this wouldn’t work that fine in my occupation. No one talks back. 

Everyone burst out laughing and could hardly breathe. It was so fun having a medical examiner as a friend. 

Sully: I think this is a funny one too. Dan, you are such a riot. 

Simon: I think you’re all nuts but I’m too fucking tired to bitch anymore.

Rafe: Hot damn, he’s too tired to bitch. 

Brown: He’s never too tired to bitch. Man, you act like you got your ass fucked raw. That’s how I look when Bri gets done with me. 

Simon laid his head on the table and moaned. 

Rafe: Sully baby, are you fucking your man back there?

Sully: Yes, we both love it. 

Simon: Could we move on, please?

Joel: So you don’t mind that she puts something in you?

Simon: No. 

Jim: That’s good. It feels good doesn’t it?

Simon: Yes.

Dan: So maybe you could tell me how it is? I’d like to try it too. 

Simon: With Sully?

Dan: No, with Sam. You’re weird. 

Blair: So have you tried fucking him yet, Sully? With a strap-on?

Simon looked at Sully with fear in his eyes. 

Sully: I don’t think he’d like that. 

Blair: I’ve heard that it’s very enjoyable. 

Connor: From who?

Blair: From Marcia in records. She loves her man to death but felt like he needed something else. 

Jim: Whoa. Big Tom Watson let’s his wife fuck him? Now that is a man that is strong and secure. 

Blair: No shit. I admire him a lot. 

Dan: I would do it.

Sam: You would. You would let me do that?

Dan: Yes, I sure would. 

Joel: I’m going to let Meg do it to me, too. I think it sounds fun.

Simon: Yes, she fucked me. Are you all happy now?

Laughter breaks out and Sully kissed him madly. 

 

Connor: 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

Blair: (Laughing) Jim already does this at least twice a week. 

Jim: I do. 

Dan: You’re too funny, Jim. 

Sam: I’m going to start doing this at my office too. 

Dan: I would try it, but someone would put a body in it. 

Sam: Danny, I’m going to give you a spanking if you don’t behave. 

Rafe: I use this method at work already. 

Brown: I do too. 

Simon: I do also. 

Sully: I don’t. 

Joel: All of my stuff just goes into Jim’s in box. 

Jim: Missing anything, Joel?

Joel: A lot. Now I know why. 

 

Connor: 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

Jim: God, this is funny. I can see Blair now. 

Blair: Way to go. Make fun of the caffeine guy. 

Joel: I think it’s funny for all of us. We all drink way too much coffee. And to take it away from us, might kill us. 

Brown: I have to have coffee. I would have to get a different job. 

Everyone laughs. 

Rafe: Find one for me too, baby. 

Dan: I drink tons, but my coffee is far away from yours, so I’m fucking safe. 

Sam: You all do know this is just a survey right? 

Sully: I don’t think they do, Sam. 

Simon: Well I do and this one is dumb. Move it, Connor. 

 

Connor: 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors." 

Jim: Blair would break my fingers. 

Blair: I would. 

Dan: You wouldn’t either. 

Sam: Maybe he would just not give him any for a month. 

Rafe: I would write this as a joke. 

Brown: DUH. Like anyone would write it seriously. 

Rafe: You’re cut off man. 

Brown: I was teasing, hot stuff. I love that hot stuff you give baby. 

Simon: Excuse me. We’re still in the room. 

Sully: Why yes, we are. 

Joel: I would never write this because it might upset my darlin. 

Jim: That’s nice to think about how Connor would feel. 

Joel: I was talking about Miss Ellie. 

Jim falls onto the floor howling in laughter. 

Simon: Could we move now?

 

Connor: 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 

Jim: Now this would be scary, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Blair: Good one, Jim. You’re a riot, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Joel: I’m the main man, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Simon: No you’re not, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Dan: I’m the last person they’ll see, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Sam: He sees dead people, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Rafe: I can kill if I have to, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Brown: He fucks like you wouldn’t believe, in accordance with the prophecy. 

Sully: We gave birth; therefore we’re goddesses, in accordance with the prophecy.

Simon: It is time to move on, in accordance with the prophecy.

 

Connor: 8. Don't use any punctuation in your reports. 

Jim: Oh Simon would love that. 

Blair: Well, I have to agree with Simon. 

Jim: That’s because you do up reports like you fuck. Fantastic. 

Everyone burst out laughing and Simon rolled his eyes. 

Rafe: I think this sounds fun. 

Brown: I’m not doing it. 

Rafe: Why?

Brown: He’ll make us do them over again. 

Dan: I would get in trouble too. Damn it anyhow. 

Sam: I don’t have to file reports, so I’m safe. 

Sully: I don’t file them either. 

Simon: Yes, you both do. You have paperwork to do every day. How would you feel if someone handed them in without punctuation? 

Sully: He’s right. 

Sam: Yes he is. God, I hate that. 

Simon: Now, can we get this moving?

 

Connor: 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 

Joel: If I skipped, I would break. 

Jim: Don’t feel lonely, Joel. 

Blair: What are you talking about? You guys are in decent shape. 

Rafe: Sandburg, we’re in decent shape. They old guys. 

Simon: You’re referring to Joel and Jim?

Rafe: And you of course, sir.

Brown: He’s teasing, Simon. 

Dan: I try to skip, and jump and I pretend like I can hop. But I can’t, I only tell people I can. 

Sam: Honey, you’re moves last night were pretty impressive. 

Simon: Did he skip?

Sam: Oh yeah. 

Simon: Did he hop?

Sam: Boy did he. 

Simon: So I bet you’ll say he jumped. 

Sam: No, I jumped when he kept landing on me. 

Everyone in the room was howling and Simon yelled, “I can’t win. I can’t fucking win.”

Sully: Well Simon you win for tonight. You were doing all of those moves. So there. 

Simon: So there. Now can we move on?

 

Connor: 10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer. 

Joel: This one is stupid. 

Jim: I couldn’t agree more. 

Blair: I even think it’s dumb. 

Rafe: You’re getting dirty looks from the old out of shape guys. I think this one’s dumb also. 

Jim: Stop calling us old. 

Brown: I want a fun one again, Connor. 

Simon: Okay, let’s move on to a fun one, Missy. 

 

Connor: 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

Jim: Blair does this already. 

Rafe: So does Henri. 

Joel: So does Meg. 

Sully: So does Simon. 

Everyone stopped and looked at Simon and burst out laughing. 

Simon: I don’t do this. She was kidding. 

Sam: Dan does do this one. 

Dan: I do. 

Simon: So any of us that didn’t do it, want to?

Jim: Yeah, let’s have a run tomorrow. 

Joel: Why not? 

Rafe: You’re kidding right?

Jim: You’re so easy, Rafe. 

Simon: Next, we want a new one.

 

Connor: 12. Sing Along At The Opera.

Jim: Blair does this all the time. I had to stop going with him. 

Blair: You think that’s any worse than the bag of junk food you take along. He throws popcorn at people’s heads when they irritate him. M&M’s for those that piss him off big time. 

Simon: I would go just to see this. I can’t believe you do this, Ellison. 

Jim: Wait a minute. It’s about singing at the opera. He does. How many people know all of the words to the opera?

Dan: That’s true. But I would go to see you first, Jim. 

Sam: I think it’s horrible that you sing along at the opera. It’s not karaoke, Blair. It’s Opera. 

Blair: Are you like kidding, cuz otherwise shut up. 

Sam: I was kidding but I take it back. You’re a butthead. 

Dan: Kids be good. 

Sully: Jim, I would go in a heartbeat to see you throw M&M’s at those rich snobby folks. I love it. 

Jim: I’ll take you next time and we’ll bring extras. 

Simon: I want to go. 

Jim: Geeze, next thing you know everyone will be there and we’ll all be singing along. 

Blair: I think it sounds fun. 

Joel: Blair you would. And I would go too. I know my Meggie would because she can’t get her breath over there. Are you all right, Meg? Raise your hand if you can breathe. I think she raised it, what do you think, Blair? 

Blair: I think you’re as weird as I am. 

Simon: Is it time? Either go home or move this along. 

 

Connor: 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 

Blair: I made a big mistake and took Jim there for our date night and he said that. I could have died. 

Rafe: You’re kidding? You took him to a poetry place for date night?

Blair: Wait a minute, you’re missing the point. 

Rafe: The point is, if Henri took me to a poetry reading place for date night, I would be seriously upset. 

Brown: He would. 

Blair: Jim were you really upset?

Jim: Well it wasn’t my cup of tea. But they were pretty nice. They let me recite a poem and no one like threw up. 

Blair: See? He liked it. 

Sam: Do you still remember the poem?

Jim: Yeah, wanna hear it. I read Blair’s. 

Blair: It’s not like he could remember that. 

Jim: I carry it with me. 

Has Anyone Seen Jim?   
by Blair (and Patt)  
Oh Rafe, have you seen Jim?   
Please help me locate him.  
Brown, do you know where he has been?   
I need to know, I have to know where and when.   
Simon, have you heard from him today?   
And when you did, did he have anything special to say?   
Megan, please help me, I need to find my other half.   
I am wanting and needing, have to show him my staff.   
Rhoda have you had any calls from him as yet?   
I know you are wondering who in the hell wins the stupid bet.   
Well, whoever wants, it doesn't matter to me.   
I just need to find him soon; I just have to see.   
Rafe do you want to know what it is like?   
Let me tell you about it as we walk, what a hike.   
Brown are you still wondering if it is really true?   
It is, it is and I am so happy it was me and not you.   
Simon do you still respect us now that you know?   
Does it make any difference to you, who I blow?   
And does anyone really want to know who is on top?   
Simon please tell me to shut-up, please tell me to stop.   
I want him bad, I have to fill him to his core.  
I live for his screams, of "come on Chief, give me more,"  
As for the bottom or the top, well, it goes both ways.   
It just depends on our moods on the very days.   
Now if you all have any questions, come on ahead, and shoot.   
And I kid you not, you had not ever call the big guy a fruit.   
Call him many things, call him what you will.   
But you can't call him yours, I have to get my fill.  
All right you guys and gals, come on, and help me find the big hot stud.  
Oh there he is, heading in, my heart just took a big old thud.   
Be still my heart, be still my cock.   
When I get a hold of him, his world, I will Rock.   
Oh man he sees the look in my eyes; he knows that everyone knows.  
But I will tell him they don't care who we want to blow.   
I will fill him up like I have never done before.   
And I will do this on the bathroom floor.   
He will be so surprised as I push him in the can.   
As this happens, Simon says to all, come pay the man. {!}

Simon: Oh god. Did they throw you out? 

Jim: How did you know?

Blair: It was so embarrassing. 

Dan: Oh let’s go again and have Jim read another one. 

Jim: I thought his poem was nice.

Simon: that’s because it was about you. 

Jim: Oh yeah. I love you, Chief.

 

Continued in Part 2


	67. 22 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

Sullivan’s Pub Part 67  
22 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity  
Part 2  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor  
   
Date: August 26, 2003  
Status: new  
   
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this.   
   
Notes: I’m still suffering from block. It’s been bad. 

Warning: m/m bad language. (I figure if you know me, you know it will have this.) No beta.   
   
Summary: Fun, fun, fun. What a nice change of pace, eh?   
   
***********************************************************

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 67  
22 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity  
Part 2

 

Connor: Here we go: 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day. 

 

Simon: What a nice thought. NOT!!!! This is past stupid. 

Sully: Well maybe that’s why you need to relax more. 

Simon: You want me to put Mosquito netting around my desk and play like I’m in the tropics?

Everyone: Yes.

Simon: I give up. 

Sam: I think it’s kind of a cute idea, even if it’s meant to be a joke. 

Dan: I already do this. 

Everyone cracks up laughing. 

Blair: Dan, you always crack us up. I’ll come down and party with you. Give me a ring. 

Dan: Blair, I’m married to Sam. What would she think if I bought you a ring?

Jim: Chief, I think you met your match. That was a good one, Dan. 

Joel: I think Dan could hold his own with any of you.

Connor: Speak for yourself, Joel. I think I could take him easily. 

Dan: I’d let you take me anywhere Connor, so you’re right. 

Connor: I take it back. He is good. 

Rafe: I’m doing the tropical theme at my desk tomorrow if anyone wants to stop by. I’ll bring Mango Juice. 

Brown: God, you guys are so weird. But I love you all. Bri, I don’t like Mango. Can we get something else?

Rafe: As long as it’s tropical. I can’t wait. I’ve needed this vacation. 

Jim falls out of his chair laughing and Joel follows close behind. 

Jim: Chief, you’re right about those chairs needing seat belts. Joel and I could have broken out butts. 

Joel: You could have broken your butt; mine has too much padding. 

Simon: We’ve been on this one topic forever. Are we going to move on, or what?

 

Connor: 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

Jim: Stupid. 

Blair: Very stupid. 

Joel: I agree. 

Sully: I don’t even think it’s funny. 

Simon: Then why are we discussing it?

Dan: Because you’re not the boss here. (Laughing his butt off.)

Sam: What he said. 

Rafe: Dumb. 

Brown: Dumber. 

Simon: Now can we move on?

 

Connor: 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard. 

Dan: Didn’t we do one like this?

Sam: Yes, my sweet Hulk Hogan. 

Dan: I do like to wear those outfits. 

Sam: He does. 

Dan: I look pretty good in them since I lost weight. 

Sam: He does. 

Dan: And if I can’t get the suit off fast enough, it’s thin enough for Sam to bite right through. 

Sam: And I do. 

Simon: Are you done?

Sully: We had planned on teasing you for another hour. But now you ruined it. 

Simon: Could we move on, Connor?

Jim: Wait, we didn’t all answer.

Blair: Yes, my precious Rock. 

Jim: He likes to call me that when we wrestle. (Laughing.)

Sully: Now is that another word for fucking?

Jim: No. I mean wrestling.

Blair: But Sully you’re on the right track. It leads to fucking. I bet all of those wrestlers have to fuck after the matches. 

Simon: I could have gone all night long without hearing that. 

Rafe: Me too. We love wrestling, but I don’t want to think about them doing that. 

Brown: You’re so prudish, Bri. 

Joel: I don’t think he’s being prudish. I don’t think about that while I watch wrestling at all. 

Connor: I do. 

Joel: You do?

Connor: Oh yeah.

Simon: So when you heard Jim describing he and Blair wrestling, what did you think?

Connor: I wondered where I could get a ring side ticket. Oh, and one more thing. I want pictures. (Laughing.)

Blair: I can’t believe you think about that stuff. This is Jim and I. We work with you. (Sighing)

Jim: Want to watch us, Connor?

Connor: This is a joke, right?

Jim: No. I’m serious as a heart attack. Would you like to watch us?

Connor: Yes. Can Sam and Sully come too?

Jim: Sam and Sully, you want to watch also?

Sam: Oh yeah. 

Sully: If Simon says it’s all right. 

Blair: Tomorrow night, 10:00. Our house. Don’t be late. 

Simon: There will be no one going to their house at 10:00. Now that it’s settled move on. 

 

Connor: 17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 

 

Jim: Blair does this already. 

Blair: I do. Why are you all laughing? 

Joel: Blair you are precious. I understand totally what attracted Jim to you. 

Blair: My ATM debit card? That’s why he loves me? Damn. 

Simon: (Laughing) You are funny. I’ve never done this and never will. 

Sully: I’ll try it and take a carload of us and laugh our asses off. 

Sam: I’m in. 

Dan: Me too. 

Blair: Me three. 

Simon: You’ve already done it, Sandburg. 

Blair: I do it every time, Simon. Geeze. 

Jim: (Yanks him closer and begins to make out with him.)

Joel: Oh oh. See what ya started, Meggie?

Connor: I love when they kiss. 

Sam: So do I.

Rafe: I wish he would kiss me like that. I do that at the ATM machine. Jim where is my hugging and kissing? 

Brown: I’ll tell you where it is. It’s in my boot, kicking your ass. No one kisses you but me. But do count me in on the trip to the bank to act weird. 

Simon: God, let’s get away from this one. Ellison, let him go. He can’t breathe anymore. For god’s sake, I feel like I’m taking care of our children. 

Sully: You are honey. 

 

Connor: 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

Jim: (Falls out of chair and onto the floor laughing.) Oh god, don’t give Sandburg any ideas. 

Blair: Guess where we’re going tomorrow?

Simon: Where?

Blair: We’re all taking our kids to the zoo. 

Simon: No fucking way. They’ll be warped. Oh god, how could they not be warped being raised around all of us? (Sighing)

Joel: We’ll meet you there at ten. 

Connor: This is going to be so much fun. 

Rafe: I can’t wait. We’ll be there too. 

Brown: Do we all get to scream, or just draw straws?

Jim: Good one, Henri. (Still sitting on the floor laughing his ass off.)

Sam: We’ll meet you at ten, also. If we’re like five minutes late, will you start the fun without us?

Dan: They can’t. They’re out friends and love us. So they’ll wait. See you at ten. 

Sully: I know that Simon won’t, but I’ll be there with the kiddo’s.

Simon: I didn’t say I wouldn’t go.

Sully: Simon, I can’t picture you running through the parking lot screaming at the top of your lungs. Just wouldn’t happen. 

Jim: That sounds like a dare, big man. 

Blair: So are we all on?

Everyone: YES!

 

Connor: 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Jim: Man, this is past mean. 

Blair: Jim would never say it, but I would be tempted to tease with it. 

Joel: I would never say it. I don’t even think this one’s funny. 

Dan: Neither do I. 

Sam: I feel like this sometimes, so I think it’s funny. 

Sully: I feel like that too. 

Simon: Something I should worry about?

Sully: Just tired is all. 

Rafe: So are we, so I’m gonna choose which one will go back. 

Brown: That would be over my dead body. 

Rafe: Well see, if he were dead, we’d have more money. 

Everyone burst out laughing. 

Brown: Want me dead, Bri?

Rafe: (Panics) Henri, I was joking. I was kidding. I would never wish ill on you. Ever. I love you. (He took Henri into his arms and held him close.)

Jim: Are you two doing all right since the hospital?

Henri got up and walked into the restroom. “I’ll get him.” Jim called out as he took off for his most un-favorite room. 

“Hey Henri, you can’t keep doing that to him. One of these times, he’ll move away from you. Pull him close and make the best of your lives.” Jim hugged Henri close to him. 

“Something’s up with him. And it’s not his penis.”

“No sex? For how long?”

“About a month now.” Henri just kept leaning on Jim. 

Jim smiled down at his friend and said, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but this happens. I’ve gone many months without sex. Life goes on, H. Love him and don’t push him away.”

“Thanks, Jim.” 

Both men walked out of the room and Rafe was watching like a hawk. 

Simon: So I guess we’re all keeping our kids. 

 

Connor: 20. Send a box of those little airline bottles of scotch filled with koolaid to the local Alcoholics Anonymous chapter.

 

Jim: This is mean. 

Joel: Yes it is and I don’t know why I’m laughing. 

Blair: Because it’s funny. Can you imagine what would go through their minds? 

Sully: I can. 

Simon: I think it’s mean. 

Sam: Simon, loosen up. 

Dan: I agree with Simon. It’s mean. 

Sam: Guess who’s sleeping with Tristan tonight?

Dan: Sam, you can’t tell me where to sleep. It’s my house too.

Sam: Well it’s more my house then yours. Jim is closer to me and he gave it to me. 

Dan looked over at Jim and waited for a response. 

Jim: I’m going to take it away if you two don’t act like adults. I love both of you. I have no favorites. So stop fighting. 

Dan: Told ya. 

Sam: Fuck you, Dan. 

Sully: Sam, what’s wrong honey?

Sam: Everyone else gets to argue. It’s our turn. 

Dan: I’ll leave and you won’t have to worry about it. Dan stood up and was out of the room in a second. 

Jim: Chief, go and get him. 

Blair: I look like the one to send? He’s big. 

Jim: He’s not going to hit you, babe. Just go bring him back. 

Simon: Well this one has sure gone to shit, Connor.

Joel: Don’t blame her.

Jim: Everyone seems on edge lately. Maybe we all need a wonderful vacation. 

Sully: To where?

Jim: That place up the coast that looks like it’s a little island? Well you can rent all of the houses at one time. I might call about it. I’ll let you all know.

Simon: We have children, Ellison. 

Jim: Duh. 

Sully: You mean, take the kids? 

Jim: Yeah. It would be great. It’s bound to be better than Disney World. 

Blair: (Holds up his fingers in the shape of a cross and hisses.) What ya trying to do man? Jinx us? 

Joel: We would all have to put in for the same time off and you know they won’t let us.

Jim: Let me try and figure it out. I’ll bribe the Commissioner. 

Rafe: I’m excited already. We all need to get away. 

Brown: Will it be tomorrow? (Laughing.) 

Jim: It’ll take longer than that, but we’ll do it as fast as we can.

Sam: Maybe Dan and I will still be together. 

Dan: (Walking through the door way.) Baby, I’m never leaving you. You’re stuck with me. And you’re right. We can fight if we need to. We just can’t break up. 

Sully: (Sniffing) How fast they’ve grown up, eh Simon?

Simon: Yeah right. 

Sam: Danny, Jim’s thinking about taking us on a vacation. You game?

Dan: Damn right. 

Simon: So we could like move this one along, right? 

 

Connor: 21. Walk down the street blowing one of those high-pitched dog-training whistles and say you're whistling a happy tune.

 

Jim: I hate those fucking whistles. So this to me isn’t funny at all. 

Blair: But it is to me. (Falls on floor laughing.)

Jim: It’s so nice to have you behind me 100%.

Joel: I don’t think it’s funny for someone that can hear it. Like you and Superman. (Joel falls out of the chair.)

Sully: Shame on you boys. Jim, take it easy honey. Are you doing all right? Someone go buy one of those whistles. Hurry. 

Simon: Sully, I’m going to beat your sweet ass. 

Sully: I like the sound of that. 

Jim: Will there be whistle blowing, cuz I can hear it over at our place? 

Simon: NO whistle blowing. 

Sam: You are no fun what so ever. Geeze. Danny, can we fuck like bunnies and then whistle a happy tune?

Dan: You’re mean, Sammy. Tell Jim you’re sorry. 

Sam: Let me get my whistle out and I can blow it in code. 

Blair: (Falls on the floor laughing.) Sam, you’re too funny. 

Jim: You’re going to think funny when I don’t want to do anything tonight.

Joel: There you go. Get him where it hurts.

Blair: Joel, you still got that whistle?

Joel: Yeah, why? 

Blair: Cuz I need it tonight. He’s going to perform or get his ears blown. It’s up to you Ellison. Ears or cock. 

Simon: Oh for gods sake, get this thing moving, Connor.

 

Connor: And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.... 22. Send This E-mail To Someone To Make them smile... It's Called Therapy...

 

Jim: Real men don’t do email. 

Blair: Excuse me? Do I need to show everyone the email you sent to me?

Jim: You better not.

Simon: I too don’t do email. 

Sully: He doesn’t. He’s a fud. 

Sam: Dan and I both do. 

Rafe: Henri and I both do also. 

Joel: Meggie and I do it every night. And email too. 

Everyone laughs. 

Connor: I need to hear this email from Jim now. 

Jim: No way, Chief. If you tell them, I’m going to be pissed. 

Simon: Don’t you threaten him. 

Joel: Yeah, what he said. 

Blair: I’m going to recite part of it and you have to be nice. If you say anything ugly about it, I’ll never share anything with you again. 

Connor: Hot damn. Get started. 

Blair: I made copies for all of you. 

Jim: CHIEF!!!!

Blair: Here it is. I know it by heart. He’s a marshmallow underneath, I tell ya. 

Need  
by Jim

The desire takes over and is replaced by need.  
Wanting something and needing it are different.  
I crave your mouth on mine.   
I need this to happen.   
My body longs for the feel of you under me.   
Hungers, for the taste of you on my lips.  
I yearn for what only you can give me.  
Not knowing for certain but feeling the thirst.   
This isn't lust.   
Not just a case of heaped up passion.   
My urges are becoming stronger each day.   
Soon I won't be able to control them.   
Hoping you will want as much as I do.   
There will be no satisfaction if we don't act on this.  
What could we lose?   
Respect and friendship?  
I don't think so.   
You are a necessity in my life and I am in yours.   
Watching you now with looks of admiration.  
Seeing pleasure in those eyes of yours.   
I relish the thought of making you feel.   
Cherish the idea of making you lose your control.   
Delight in dreams of us together.   
Appreciation can be earned.   
We will see how much value we put on us.  
You need me too.   
I love you, Chief.

Connor: (Crying) Oh god, that’s so beautiful. 

Joel: It is. You’re a closet romantic aren’t you? 

Jim: Oh yeah, that’s me. 

Blair: You are. 

Rafe: I thought it was wonderful. 

Brown: I trying not to cry. 

Jim: See, I told you they’d make fun of me. 

Then Jim looked over and saw that Henri was indeed crying. 

Jim: Sorry Henri. 

Simon: Well you just smoked us all out and we’ll never hear the end of it. 

Sully: I thought it was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it, Blair. 

Jim: Blair? What do me mean, Blair?

Sully: You wrote it for him and he memorized it. It’s his. It’s in his heart. 

Sam: Jim honey, I never thought you could be this romantic. It was great. 

Dan: I loved it too. Blair, do you have any others to share with us? 

Blair: I’ve memorized all of them. 

Jim: Please? 

Blair: I’ll choose a nice sweet one. 

Blair Sight Seeing.   
by Jim

 

I glance over and see my favorite thing beginning to rise.  
I have seen it so many times before, but it seems larger today.   
Larger than life comes to mind.   
My heart, my soul and my body is warming up.   
Oh how I love taking it in.   
There is nothing quite like it.   
I lean over to see if I can touch without disturbing Blair.   
It is a lost cause.   
I want to touch it.  
I need that in my life.   
I don't see it enough.   
I am sitting now with anticipation.   
Can't keep still for anything.   
I can't help it.   
I have to wake Blair up.   
No other choice.   
"Blair, wake up."  
He smiles at me and sees what I am looking at.  
And he in turn sits up and looks at the sunrise too.   
It is truly beautiful. 

Well, what did you all think I was talking about?   
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Rafe: Oh god. (Falls on the floor laughing)

Brown: Now that’s a Jim poem. 

Jim: I love that one, Chief. 

Simon: I even liked that one. 

Connor: Great job, Jim. 

Joel: I need to spend more time by your desk. Maybe you could give me pointers. 

Dan: Or he could take a break and come downstairs every day. 

Sam: Wait, I want him part of the time. 

Simon: All right, let’s not fight over him. 

Sully: Easy for you to say. You’re his boss. 

Simon: We need to go home. The baby gets up early. 

Sully: That he does. He’s so darling. 

Jim: We have to get together at one of the houses so we can see the kids. These kids will not grow up without close family. 

Blair: I agree. 

Brown: Our house this weekend. 2:00 p.m.

Rafe: Whoa, he’s quick at making decisions. Remey will help you shop. 

Jim: Wanna stop by and pick up Rayney to keep him company? 

Connor: I can’t wait. It seems like ages since we’ve seen all of the babies together. 

Joel: Night all. 

Dan: Night everyone. 

Sam: Night darlin’s. 

Everyone walked out to their cars and Jim pulled Blair in for a kiss. 

“Wow. Man, what did I do to deserve that kiss?”

“I didn’t want you to read that poem for anything, but they liked it. They didn’t make fun of me. And the most important thing is they all know how dear you are to my heart. I’ll love you forever.” Jim then pulled him into his arms for more hugging and kissing. 

“I’ll love you forever too. Now let’s go home and let me show you what I do best.”

Jim put the pedal to the metal and they were off. 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 67  
22 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity  
Part 2


	68. Blair Takes a Survey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor decides to make Blair do a survey alone. Then she’ll read it to others later on. This one is cute and sweet.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 68  
Blair Takes a Survey.  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor  
   
Date: September 6, 2003  
Status: new  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this.   
   
Warning: m/m bad language. No beta. Some Poetry by Jim and Blair at the end. Just warning you.   
   
Summary: Connor decides to make Blair do a survey alone. Then she’ll read it to others later on. This one is cute and sweet.   
   
***********************************************************

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 68  
Blair takes a Survey.   
Patt

Connor made up a survey for only Blair to fill out and she planned on reading it at the next outing. She felt that Blair Sandburg was one of the funniest men she had ever met. Hopefully he wouldn’t let her down. 

Blair takes a Survey. 

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Jim allows me to live as long as I don’t break any of his good junk. I can’t rearrange anything and I can’t make messes. I can never hurt the children or make Jim cook too much. In return for all of this, he let’s me live. 

2.  BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING NOW:  Jim and I both are reading the Janet Evanovich Series. That Stephanie Plum is a hoot. Jim reads it and says, Stephanie is an idiot and should not be allowed to have a gun. I read it and say, “Hello? Do we forget how many times we’ve dropped our gun?”

3.  WERE YOU A THUMB SUCKER: No, but I have gotten quite attached to sucking Jim’s cock every night and every morning. Does this count? It does to Jim. He loves having his cock sucked. He says I’m pretty good at it too. I don’t need no stinkin thumb. 

4.  FAVORITE MAGAZINE: National Geographic. We like the naked people in it.

5.  FAVORITE SMELLS:  Jim. Jim’s come. Jim after a shower. Jim before a shower. Basically, just love the way Jim smells. 

6.  LEAST FAVORITE SMELL:  A woman or man’s scent on Jim’s clothing. It drives me nuts. I’m insanely jealous. 

7.  FAVORITE SOUNDS:  Jim begging in bed. Jim begging on the sofa. Jim begging on the kitchen table. Jim begging in the shower. Jim begging in the truck. Okay, if you want one other thing, I love the sounds of our children when they laugh or fight. Both are cute. 

8.  WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Coming in Jim’s ass before he’s come and feeling like I’ve left him hanging. 

9.  THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?  My hard cock up Jim’s ass. You can’t miss it; it’s almost touching the ceiling. 

10.  HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?  That damn Jim, answers on the first or second ring. He thinks he’s Batman, Superman or Spiderman. Only Super Heroes answer their phones like that. Right? Am I right, Connor? He reminds me more of Batman. Yeah, Batman. Everyone sing the song now. 

11.  FUTURE CHILD'S NAME:  We’re done with kids, so there shouldn’t be any future ones. Wait a minute. Is this a trick question? Is there something I need to know about Jim? 

12.  WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?  Jim and our children.

13.  CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?  We both love Chocolate. 

14.  DO YOU DRIVE FAST: No, I have a chauffeur that does that for me. His name is Jim.

15.  DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL:  Just Jim. He’s quite the animal. 

16.  STORMS - COOL OR SCARY:  I love them, but they sometimes hurt little Rayney’s ears. We’ve been working on some things for little Sentinels and it’s going well. I should write a book, eh? The Short Guide to Little Sentinels.

17.  WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR:  1965 Mustang. The stories I could tell you about that. 

18.  HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?:  Yes, and I’m still there. 

19.YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?:  My sign says, “Wake up and smell the roses. None of that crap means anything. What’s important is Jim and the kids. Fuck Zodiac signs.

 

20.  DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI:  No, I give them to Jim and make him eat them. 

21.  IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT COLOR?:  I’ve always wanted to be a blond. But grouchy won’t let me. (That’s Simon) Jim won’t either.

22.  GLASS - HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?: I’m very optimistic. Half full, half full. As an example, I touch Jim and say, “Hot damn. You’re half hard.”

23.  DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS:  Sometimes, I’m not paying attention, so they’re on the wrong keys. Boy, is that hard to understand. Simon always makes me redo those reports. Damn him. 

24.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: 2,347 Seriously, it’s five. There are five in our family, so I feel like that’s our lucky and favorite number. 

25.  FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH:  WWF Smackdown. Jim always wrestles with me on the bed while we watch. We have the best sex life. 

26.  SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS: That damn Connor is making me do this while no one else has to. Why is that again, Connor? Oh, I have to say something nice. Hmmmm. I love Connor; she is my best friend and can be counted on for anything. I love you, girl. 

27.  WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED: There is nothing under the bed. You could eat off the floor under all of our beds. Jim keeps that house spotless. I’ll invite you all for dinner in our room tomorrow. We’ll have Tuna Casserole, ala floor. 

28.  TOILET PAPER/PAPER TOWELS - OVER OR UNDER: Over. I’m a top kind of guy. 

29.  OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAILED THIS TO, WHO'S THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND: I haven’t emailed it to anyone. And if Connor knows what’s good for her, she won’t show this to a soul. 

30.  LEAST LIKELY:  Jim or Simon.

31.  BELIEVE IN GOD: I believe in a higher power than us. But as God per say, no. I believe in Jim and myself. I believe in our friends. I believe in our jobs and their importance. I believe our children will love us forever, even when they get older and find out what we do for sex. I believe that we have the best friends and life. And last but not least, I believe that Jim loves me more than anyone ever could. 

32.  2%, 1%, WHOLE, NONFAT, OR SKIM MILK?:  We drink 2%. 

33.  RED OR WHITE SAUCE ON PASTA?: I like Red, Jim likes white. 

34.  COKE OR PEPSI?: We both like Dr. Pepper. 

35.  DO YOU WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT EVERY TIME YOU ARE IN THE CAR?: Only if Jim catches me not wearing it. 

36.  ARE YOU A PILLAR OF COMMUNICATION?: My real name is Blair-lets talk about it-Sandburg. So yeah, I’ll talk about anything, anywhere and at anytime. Jim hates that part of my personality, I’m sure. 

37.  WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TONIGHT?: Dinner, dancing, bathing and then it’ll be time for Jim and I. We’ll watch CSI and Without A Trace. We really like those shows. 

38.  LAST CONCERT YOU WENT TO?:  Santana. It was for Jim’s birthday and it was a surprise. 

39.  HOW MUCH JEWELRY DO YOU WEAR?:  We both wear watches and a necklace. Instead of rings, we wear the necklaces. His has a Wolf on it and mine has a Black Jaguar on it. 

40.  IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?:  I wouldn’t have hurt Jim so many times over the years. I plan on making it up to him as time goes on. I love him more than life itself. 

Words to live by. Some poetry written by Jim and me. The first two are Jim’s and the next two are mine. Enjoy Connor. 

Thunder  
By Jim Ellison

The loud noise is tearing me apart.   
For some reason I can't shut it out.  
The lightning is blinding me.  
Then the thunder roars again.   
My ears feel like they are going to bleed.  
I can't stand it.  
I need my guide.   
I can't turn down the dials.   
Nothing is working.  
I’m lost.   
Suddenly things start getting better.   
I feel a soft touch on my arms.  
Then on my chest.  
Now this soft touch is on my cock.   
His voice is telling me to turn it down.  
I’m concentrating on his voice alone.   
It’s working.   
I’m no longer blinded by the light.  
I can now hear like I should.  
But my cock is still pulsing.  
He keeps his wonderful hands on me.  
As they start to move, I move with them.   
Oh Lord, what this man does for me.   
I’m panting now, thinking that things could not get better.  
When all of a sudden he tells me to suck on his fingers.  
That is pushing me closer to the edge.   
All of a sudden, my cock is in that sweet mouth.   
And his finger has found it's way into my pucker.   
Jesus, he’s good at this.   
I’m yelling for release and he gives it to me.   
Sucks so hard, I almost pass out.   
He then flips me over and gets me ready.   
I ask him to hurry can't wait to have him in me.  
He pushes in, slowly, and carefully.   
But once I push back against him, he knows he can let go.   
He starts pounding into me.   
And he whispers, "Just like the thunder, Jim, I pound into you."  
Holy shit, I’m a goner.   
He keeps going and then whispers,   
"You make me feel like my body has been struck by lightening."  
Just like that, I come.   
And then so does he.   
He then tells me I can just call him Thunder from now on.   
And he’ll call me lightening.   
My God, this man can take a storm and make it sexy.   
I can't even watch the weather channel any longer   
without a hard-on. 

Thunder Part 2  
Warmth  
By Jim Ellison

The sun is shining through the skylight.  
It is making me warm all over.   
I glance over and see my thunder.   
My life.  
My reason for living.   
Sounds like a Hallmark card, doesn't it?   
But it is true.   
Well, I decided that I am going to make my thunder break loose.  
I start by kissing him all over.   
Starting at his voluptuous lips.   
I would die for those lips.   
Then I travel to his ear lobes.  
Jesus, I am so hard already.   
He is moaning in his sleep.   
I know it won't be long till my Thunder wakes.   
I am licking his nipples.   
They are hard as a rock.   
He loves this.   
He is fully awake now.   
As he looks into my eyes, I smile and take his cock into my mouth.   
He is making a lot of noise.   
Mind you I have turned down my senses.   
I know he will be loud.   
And I want him to be able to, without worrying.   
I did the same thing that he did last night and   
gave him my fingers to suck on.   
And the moist fingers found their way into him.   
Fingers entered him and he was calling out my name.   
I started sucking harder and harder.   
And I added another finger.   
By the time I got to three, he was screaming, "I need your lightening."  
Oh man, what he does for me.   
I got him in his special spot and he is screaming louder and louder.   
All of a sudden he is coming.   
The whole time he is saying, my lightening.  
I flip him over, quickly.   
I am ready to explode.   
Oh yes, his lightening is about to hit.   
I get him ready super fast and enter.   
He is already hard again.   
So I whisper in his ear about how much I love my Thunder.   
And he is panting harder and harder.   
Yes, it does the same thing to him that it does to me.   
I have to start to angle properly so he will cum with me.  
I need his Thunder along with my Lightening.   
I hit his spot three times and he is chanting my name.   
And we both come at the same time.   
As we relax, I take him in my arms and kiss him.   
I love this man so much.   
I find it hard to believe that he is able to do this to me.   
He knows exactly what to say and do to make me hot.   
Hell, sometimes he doesn't even need to do either.   
Just stand there and I am hot for him.   
Or as Blair says, you are warm for my form.   
Yes, this man makes me very happy.   
My form wants to be his forever. 

 

Mornings With Jim  
by Blair Sandburg

He wakes me up every single morning, with love.   
I have to be the luckiest person in the world.   
I move into his space now and start working.   
God he’s so easy.   
Thank God for that.   
He’s so beautiful and that smile of his melts my heart.   
I’m putty in his hands.   
He could do anything to me.   
Should be scary, but instead I find it fascinating.   
We’re perfect together.   
He just whispered that he loved me.   
Just call me Jell-O.   
I’m a big pile of goo.   
I kiss him hard and let my actions speak for me.   
Then I pull away and look into his eyes.   
"Jim, I love you back."

 

Mine  
by Blair Sandburg

He thinks that he is in charge.   
Oh if he only knew.  
He has no clue as to how much I control things.  
I let him believe he is in charge.   
What does it hurt?   
As long as I know that it is me that is really in charge.   
In the Bullpen, they all smile because they know too.   
Everyone tells me that it amazes them as to what I get away with.   
Then Rafe tells me, geeze, you give this guy sex and he is putty in your hands.   
We all just started laughing our butts off.   
Rafe has a way of making me laugh big time.   
But you know what, it is not true.   
I don't have to give Jim sex.   
All he really needs is a hug or a smile and he is set.   
This man is so easy.   
Okay, lets call em like we see em.   
He is a big old slut.   
Big easy slut.   
But he is my slut.  
I love him so much it is unreal.   
I find myself wondering if I am dreaming.   
It sometimes feels to good to be true.   
He is not only my partner, but he is mine.   
Big Jim Ellison is mine.   
Mine.


	69. Funny Sayings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny sayings and funny remarks. A little bit of angst at the beginning but they all get over it.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 69  
Funny Sayings  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor  
   
Date: September 8, 2003  
Status: new  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this.   
   
Notes: Thank you to Kris for the ammo. 

Warning: m/m bad language. No beta.  
   
Summary: Funny sayings and funny remarks. A little bit of angst at the beginning but they all get over it.   
   
***********************************************************

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 63  
Funny Sayings  
Patt

 

Subject: Sayings

 

It was Jim’s day off, so he decided to keep Rayne with him and see how her senses were doing. He spent the entire day watching, listening and talking to her. He wrote things down for Blair so that he could tell him what to do the next time and before he knew it, Blair and the kids were walking in the door. 

“Hey big man. How goes it?” 

“Hey Chief. We had a good day. I took lots of notes for you. Maybe you could help me figure out some things.” Jim leaned in for a much needed kiss. 

“Jim, I think it’s great that you’re taking time to try and figure this all out.”

“Well I couldn’t do what my dad did. Ignoring it, doesn’t make it go away.” Jim knew that Blair already knew this. 

“Daddy, din’t you see us?” Jade yelled. 

“I’m sorry sugar. How was you and Drake’s day?” Jim tried to make it up to her. 

“I don’t like you anymore. You like Rayne better than Drakey and me. I hate you.” Jade ran into her bedroom and they could all hear her crying. 

“Drake, what’s going on?” Jim asked his son. 

“You do like her better than us. It’s all right, but you do.” Drake started to walk off and Jim grabbed him. “Drakey, I love you so much.”

“It’s all right, Daddy.” He got loose and ran into his room. 

“Blair, am I treating them differently?” Jim asked. 

“Well, you’re paying a lot of attention to Rayne now that she’s walking and talking and getting a few senses on line. The kids don’t understand that. Then today, you didn’t pick them up from school. They were expecting you, not me.”

“Shit. I’ll do better, Chief. I promise. I’ll go and apologize now.” 

“Jim you didn’t really do anything wrong. Just try and pay more attention to them. All right?” Blair kissed his cheek and walked in to see Jade. 

Jim walked into Drake’s room and said, “Drake, I’m sorry honey. I never meant to do that.” Then Jim lay down next to Drake and cuddled with his son. 

“It’s okay, Daddy. Really. We love you. And you and Poppy are nice to us even if we aren’t your real kids.”

Jim pulled Drake closer and held him so hard, he could hardly breathe. Drake could feel that his Daddy was shaking. He didn’t want to make his Daddy cry. “I’m sorry Daddy.”

“I’m sorry too, Drake. What do you want to do tonight?” Jim kissed his cheek. 

“Daddy, I want to see Pirates of The Caribbean really bad. Could we go?”

“Ask Poppy is that’s all right. If he says yes, we’ll go tonight.” 

Drake took off to ask, very excited. Blair came storming out of Jade’s bedroom and said, “Want to follow me?” Jim followed him into their bedroom and said, “What?”

“Jim, he’s too young for that movie. And why do I have to be the bad person. Take him to a fucking cartoon or something. It pisses me off that you’re going to separate the kids now.” Blair was all misty eyed. 

“I’ll fix it Chief.” Jim walked out with slumped shoulders. First he looked up the movies and said, “Drake and Jade come here.”

“Yes Daddy.” They both said. 

“Okay, here is the deal. I’m not up on the ratings on movies. Pirates of the Caribbean is even too old for me. I didn’t know that. So this is what I suggest instead. I’ll take both of you to Freaky Friday or Spy Kids 3D. How does that sound?”

“That would be fun to see Spy Kids 3D, Daddy.” Jade hugged his leg. 

“Drake?”

“I want to see Freaky Friday.” Drake was adamant. 

“We have to agree on this, kids. Because we’re going as a family.” Jim was trying to stay calm. 

“Oh great. That means Rayney has to go? Then I’m staying home.” Drake stomped off into his bedroom. 

“It was a good try, Daddy.” And Jade walked into her room. 

Jim walked into their room and lay down on their bed. Blair wondered what he was doing and then he heard him sniffing. 

“Babe, they’re just kids. They’re throwing a tanty and want their way. They’ll come around.” He rubbed the large man’s back, trying to settle him down. 

Jim started to shake. “Blair, I’m doing everything wrong. I’m terrible at this. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing anymore.” Jim wasn’t listening and missed the little heartbeats outside his doorway. They heard their daddy all distressed and it was upsetting them. 

“I want them to be happy. I want to make their life better than mine ever was, but I’m screwing up. Chief, I don’t know what to do. They don’t love me anymore. I can tell.”

“They do too, Jim. They’re just kids. I think you’re tired. And that’s why you’re whiny.” Blair kissed Jim’s cheek and looked over and saw two very frightened children standing in the doorway. 

“Daddy, I still love you.” Jade ran over and jumped on the bed and cuddled with Jim. 

“I love you too. I’m sorry I was mean.” Drake crawled up and cuddled with Jim too. 

Blair decided to tell the kids about Rayne. He told them she was special in her own way. They had to be careful of places they went, scents they were around and people she would have to see or touch. Jade and Drake’s eyes were open so wide that Jim and Blair almost laughed.

“She’s just like her Daddy?” Jade asked. 

“No, she’s a Sentinel. You’re my child and you’re not a Sentinel. So it doesn’t matter.” Jim held her close as he said it. 

So in the next month, they made up a Family Night. Once a week they would go somewhere. Naomi would go along with them and they each got to choose something for the night that was theirs. 

Finally it was Tuesday night and Jim and Blair had plans to go to Sullivan’s Pub. They couldn’t wait. It had been awhile. With everyone’s families getting bigger, the meetings were fewer and farther between. 

As Jim and Blair walked in to Sully’s room that night, everyone laughed. They were late as usual. “I swear you all do this on purpose.” Jim said laughing. 

Simon asked, “So what’s up for tonight, Connor?”

“My friend Kris in Robbery gave me a list for funny sayings. She’s a riot. So I’m sure you’ll all love them.”

Simon shouted, “And she’s off…”

 

Connor: 1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.   

Jim:(falling out of his chair.) Stop all ready. This is too funny. But it’s true. If I don’t work out, I can’t get into my own pants either. 

Blair: Who are you kidding you don’t let anyone into those pants.

Everyone laughed. 

Dan: I agree with Jim. Very funny, but very friggin true. 

Sam: I wouldn’t know. I don’t have to watch my weight. 

Dan: That’s because you make me watch it. 

Everyone laughs again. 

Dan: Blair, do you watch yours?

Blair: Not really. I run with Jim and use the treadmill. It’s enough for me. 

Joel: I need to work out with all of you. I want to be thinner. 

Connor: Joel, you have lost about 30 pounds. I don’t want to lose anymore of my honey bear. 

Simon: Oh for gods sake. I have to watch my weight and I thought this was very fucking funny. 

Sully: Simon, is there a big difference between fucking funny and very funny?

Simon: You’re going to get it.

Sully: Oh goody. 

Simon: We’ll be right back.

Everyone whistled at the couple as they headed to Sully’s office. 

Blair: You know, they could rent that room out and make a fortune. 

Jim: Not even funny, Chief.

Blair: Then why is everyone laughing? Rafe would you pay?

Rafe: Damn right I’d pay. 

Brown: There isn’t even any bed in there.

Rafe: Henri, since when has that stopped us?

Brown: Oh yeah. We’d pay. 

Joel: We would pay also.

Dan: So would we. 

Connor: How in the world did it get to this?

Everyone looked at Blair. 

Blair: Hey, I was just wondering aloud. Sue me. 

Jim: I’d rather have you say, Jim me. 

Blair: Good one, hot shot. I love that. 

Finally Sully and Simon walked into the room. 

Simon: What did we miss? 

Connor: We’ve been waiting on you. We hung out on the other side of the door, but you weren’t that exciting so we came back. 

Simon: You had best be joking. 

Jim: You’re so easy, Simon. 

Sully: He is, Jim. He is. 

Simon: Are we going to do this damn thing or not? 

 

Connor: 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Jim: Ewwwwwwww!

Blair: What he said. 

Joel: That’s a gross thought, isn’t it? 

Dan: I think it’s an awful thought too. 

Sam: Well, it would depend on what I would be thinking about. 

Dan: Really? 

Sam: No Dan, I think it’s gross.

Brown: I think so too. 

Rafe: I agree with H. 

Joel: This one’s fast and easy. Oh is this Jim too, Blair?

Jim: You’re picking on me now, Joel?

Joel: Not really. Just felt like trying it out. 

Jim: Try it out on Rafe. 

Rafe: Hey. 

Simon: This makes no sense to me at all. 

Sully: Want to go to my office so I can explain it to you, sweetie?

Simon: No. Could we move on, Conner? 

 

Connor: 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

Jim: (Falls out of chair laughing.) I love this one, Connor. 

Blair: Would anyone actually say this? (Laughing his ass off.)

Rafe: I know I wouldn’t. 

Brown: I don’t even notice things like that anymore. 

Joel: Like chests? (Laughing his ass off)

Brown: Women don’t really appeal to me since I met Rafe. He’s all I need. And he has a beautiful chest. So there. 

Rafe: Henri, don’t give them any more ammo. 

Dan: I think this is a riot, but no, I would never say it. 

Sam: Anyone that has implants deserves to have it said. 

Sully: Sam, that was awful. 

Sam: But true. 

Sully: Yes. 

Simon: I take it you girls don’t approve of implants. 

Sully: Think they’re stupid. 

Sam: Think they’re dangerous. 

Connor: Think that everyone knows they’re not real, so why do it? 

Joel: That’s a good thought. Meggie I never thought of it. 

Simon: Could we move this along? 

 

Connor: 4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

Every single person burst out laughing. 

Jim: I’ve had this happen running after the kids all night when Blair was working. It’s a two person job. I felt stoned by the time he got home. 

Blair: Poor baby. I agree. Standing up fast will do it for me, also. 

Joel: Same here. 

Rafe: I had to chase after Remmy the other day at the store and I felt this way all day. 

Brown: Oh, poor baby. 

Sam: I feel this way a lot also. 

Dan: Must be having kids, right? 

Sam: I was talking about something else. 

Dan: Oh yeah. I get lightheaded sometimes from that too. Good one, baby. 

Simon: I knew someone would bring this around to sex. I just didn’t think it would be Dan. 

Sully: Good job, Dan. 

Simon: Sully, don’t encourage him. 

Sully: But honey he keeps Sammy happy. If she’s happy she won’t be moving in with us. 

Simon: I totally agree, Dan. Good job. 

Everyone laughed. 

 

Connor: 5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

 

Jim: This one’s dumb, but funny. 

Blair: I was going to ask if we could get the kids some fleas for pets. Can we? 

Connor: Oh Sandy, you crack me up. 

Blair: If they breed well, we’ll be able to share them with our friends. 

Simon: You’re all insane. 

Jim: I didn’t say it sir. 

Simon: You married him. You must be. 

Jim: I love being married to him. 

Blair: I love being married to you too. 

Sam: Aren’t they sweet? 

Dan: Yes, they are, and put us down for two sets of fleas. 

Sully: (falling on the floor.) Okay, we’re game. We’ll take a set. Just give us two males. I like the idea of two boys together. 

Sam: Oh good thinking Sis. Us too. 

Simon: It’s spreading Jim. 

Joel: I’ll take a family. I love families. 

Connor: You’re so precious. I love you. 

Simon: He’s talking about fucking fleas. 

Connor: He’s not going to fuck them. My god, have you no shame?

Everyone is laughing so hard they can’t get their breath. 

Simon: I give up. Move it, Connor. 

 

Connor: 6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

Jim: I think we all need this shirt. Except for Simon. 

Simon: Why?

Jim: Because you don’t like being in another little world. 

Simon: That’s true. I’ll take the order for you all and pick the colors out and guess your sizes. (Falls out of his chair laughing)

Blair: I’m always in my own world. I love it there. 

Joel: Blair, we could write a soap opera. Our own little world. 

Connor: (Laughing) Only you two could pull that off, too. 

Rafe: I could be one of the stars. 

Blair: You are one of the stars, you nut. 

Brown: Don’t be calling my man a nut. He’s my nut, not yours. 

Dan: I’m always in my own world too. I like it there. 

Sam: I like to visit here, but mostly spend in Dan’s world. 

Sully: Oh, that’s so darn sweet. I would be alone because my husband doesn’t visit there. 

Simon: Fine. I’ll go with you. 

Sully: Baby, you are so damn easy. 

Simon: Conner, move it. 

 

Connor: 7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

Jim: I get this every year. (Smiling broadly.)

Blair: I don’t get you a sweater every year. 

Jim: Nope you don’t. 

Blair: Oh I get it. I get the same thing. 

Joel: Same at our house. No sweaters allowed.

Connor: Couldn’t agree more, honey bear. 

Dan: There are no sweaters at our house either.

Sam: Thank god. 

Sully: Same here. 

Simon: I love the no sweater rule. 

Sully: Oh Si, you’re getting the hang of this. I’m so proud. 

Rafe: Now what happens if you get both? 

Brown: You’re a sweaty moaner. 

Everyone laughed. 

Simon: OH look, there’s a lull in the action. Move. 

 

Connor: 8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Jim: (Roaring with laughter.) God, I never thought of that. It’s true. 

Blair: This one’s funny, Connor. 

Dan: I think they’ve all been funny. 

Blair: This entire survey is funny. Better, Dan?

Dan: Much. 

Sam: Okay, I think I’ll never be able to fly again. 

Sully: It’s only a joke, Sam. 

Simon: We’re flying out this weekend for a weekend get-a-way. 

Sully: I might meet you there with the car. (Laughing)

Brown: I never thought of it, and don’t want to think of it now. Ewwww.

Rafe: It’s all right, honey. Everything will be fine. 

Blair: You call Henri Honey?

Rafe: Sometimes. You wanna make something of it? 

Blair: No, I think it’s cute. 

Brown: We’re never going to hear the end of it, babe. 

Simon: Guess what time it is? 

Connor: What?

Simon: Time to move it along. 

 

Connor: 9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

They all start laughing and don’t stop for a good fifteen minutes. 

Jim: (Still catching his breath.) OH my word, this one was too funny. 

Blair: Oh my word? Jim, did you turn 70 in the last hour? 

Brown: I was wondering the same thing. (Laughing his ass off)

Rafe: Hey, I understood, Jim. I used to hear my Gramma say that all the time. 

Jim: Oh, fuck all of ya. 

Joel: I use that saying a lot, Jim. 

Rafe: And you’re old. 

Joel: I’m not too old to kick your ass. 

Rafe: Well there is that. Sorry Joel. 

Joel: Say sorry to Jim. 

Rafe: Sorry Jim. Oh my word, who’s turn is it now? 

Jim: Laugh it up funny boy. I’m getting you when you least suspect it. 

Dan: I use this saying and I’m not old. So there. 

Sam: But honey, you’re old fashioned. Same difference. 

Blair, Rafe and Brown are roaring with laughter. 

Simon: I use this saying and if one person says I’m old, I’ll put them in the ground. 

Sully: Along side of you? 

Even Joel is laughing now. Everyone is enjoying the laughter, the teasing and the love. 

Simon: Let’s move this along. 

 

Connor: 10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.

Jim: This is true. I know. 

Blair: Which one were you? 

Jim: I was shithead. 

Blair: Really?

Jim: Yeah. 

Simon: I don’t agree, Jim. You tried pretty hard. 

Jim: It doesn’t matter now. 

Sully: I think it’s nice to see you admit that you might have been wrong. 

Simon: I was shithead too. But I think sometimes it takes two shitheads. 

Dan: I agree. 

Sam: I’ve done a few divorces, and I hate them. It’s always so sad. 

Sully: I bet it is. Simon, we’re never finding out. 

Simon: I’m cool with that. 

Blair: It’s I’m down with that. 

Simon: Don’t think I won’t hurt you. 

Joel: We’re never getting one either. 

Connor: What if I wanted to move to Australia and you didn’t. What would you do then?

Joel: Oh Jesus. You want to move there? 

Connor: No, honey bear. Not at all. I was using it as an example. 

Joel: Don’t do that anymore. 

Rafe: I’m never leaving any of you. 

Everyone: Aaawwwwwhhhh. 

Brown: I’m not leaving either. I love you all. 

Simon: I see this going downhill. Let’s move it. 

 

Connor: 11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Jim: Do I annoy you, Chief? 

Blair: Sometimes. But I adore you, so it’s not a biggy. 

Simon: I feel this way about marriage. I think that I annoy Sully a lot. 

Sully: Sometimes. But not often, sweetie. 

Rafe: I don’t agree with this. Henri you don’t bug me at all. 

Brown: Good. You don’t bug me either. We’re bug free until we get those fleas. 

Sam: Henri, you always make me smile. I don’t feel this way with Danny at all. 

Dan: Same here. I just love Rafe and Brown. Kidding, Sam. I love you. 

Joel: I never feel this way about Meggie. 

Connor: Back at ya, big guy. 

Simon: You could move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: 12. I am nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

Jim: Oh look, Chief. This is you. 

Blair: (Glaring) You think I’m perfect? Not hardly. 

Jim: I’m teasing Chief. I’m sorry. 

Blair: Me too. I was just being touchy. 

Sam: Touchy feely is always nice. 

Dan: She likes that. 

The two men kissed and everyone relaxed. 

Sully: I’m not perfect so I could never even say this statement. 

Simon: Same here, Sully. 

Rafe: I’m going to get this one a shirt for me. 

Brown: Connor, I’m going to kick your butt. 

Joel: Over my dead body. 

Rafe: You said you were old. And Simon wants someone lying next to his. 

Sully: (Howling) OH this is terrible. Stop saying these things. 

Simon: Sully it doesn’t work if you’re laughing your ass off while you say it. 

Blair: I thought it was funny too, Sully. 

Simon: Could we move?

 

Connor: 13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

Rafe: Oh Joel, Oh Simon, Oh Jim. This one is just for you. 

Simon: Fuck you. 

Joel: What he said. 

Jim: Come here and say that to me, Brian. 

Rafe: Henri, did you hear the way he said Brian? I think he’s going to hurt me.

Brown: Don’t worry honey. I won’t let them hurt you. 

Sam: OH isn’t that sweet. Rafe believed him. 

Dan: I did too. Henri was very convincing. 

Sully: Well I don’t like everyone picking on my hubby because he’s older. 

Simon: It’s all right. Some day they’ll be old and they’ll think about this day. 

Blair: I don’t think so. We’ll have old timers by then. Won’t have any memory left. 

Simon: Jim, you better take care of that boy. 

Jim: OH I do Simon. Every chance I get. 

Simon: Connor, move it now. 

 

Connor: 14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Jim: Because we’re not idiots. There are also independents. 

Blair: Leave it to Jim to get all serious. 

Sully: I agree with Jim. We’ve got a hard time choosing as it is. Who would want 50?

Simon: I think those Miss America pageants are stupid anyhow.

Connor: That’s not what it’s about, Simon. 

Rafe: I mean really. Baton twirling? I can do that. 

Brown: You should try out. 

Simon: Well they might take you since you’re a bottom sometimes. You’d be the woman. 

Sully: Simon!!

Simon: He knows I’m joking. 

Blair: Wait a minute, I could try out couldn’t I? And when they turn me down, I could get my lawyer and sue them. 

Sam: I’m the lawyer, right? 

Blair: But of course. 

Joel: I would vote for you, Blair. 

Simon: Oh for gods sake. Let’s get moving. 

 

Connor: 15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Jim: I have to say, this is totally true. 

Blair: Well none of us smoke, so it’s true for all of us. 

Simon: We could move on then. 

 

Connor: 16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Blair: This isn’t true. I went once and they were pretty nice. Both sexes. 

Jim: When did you go?

Blair: Last month, when I went for the day with my pal from school. WE went to the Cascade Nudist Colony. 

Simon: You’re so full of shit. 

Sully: We do have one. 

Jim: We do? (Getting angry)

Blair: I told you I was going. I’m helping him do research on different types of bodies at the nudist colonies. 

Jim: We’ll discuss this later. 

Blair: No, we won’t. I told you. You didn’t want to stop watching the game long enough to listen to me. That’s your problem. 

Simon: He should be allowed to go wherever he wants, Jim. 

Jim: So you would let Sully go? 

Simon: Hell no. 

Jim: Thanks Simon. That really helped. 

Sully: Blair should be able to do whatever he pleases. 

Jim: Fine. 

Blair: Now he’s pissed off, right Jim?

Jim: No, not at all. 

Simon: Connor, would you like to give us another? 

 

Connor: 17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

Joel: Isn’t that sweet? I love this saying. 

Connor: I did too, Honey bear. 

Sully: It’s great. I can’t wait for winter and the holidays. 

Simon: Same here. We’re going to have so much fun in the new houses and with all of our kids. 

Dan: I couldn’t agree more. I wish we got more snow. 

Sam: We can always go to the mountains and show the kids that snow. 

Dan: Oh good thinking. 

Rafe: We could all go with our children and make snowmen and have a contest. 

Brown: What a great idea. 

Blair: Count us in. 

Everyone looked at Jim, as he said nothing. 

Blair: Jim, I’m sorry. I thought you knew. We’ll talk about it later. 

Jim: Not a big deal, Sandburg. 

Simon: Connor, move it. He’s calling him Sandburg. 

 

Connor: 18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

Jim: This is very true. 

Blair: If it were true, I never would have met you. 

Jim: Good example. 

Blair: You wish you had never met me? (Blair jumped up with tears in his eyes and left the room.)

Simon: Go get him, Jim. 

Jim: I don’t have to do anything. 

Joel: Jim, please?

Jim: If you’re worried go get him. 

Connor: I’ll go and get him. At least I love him. 

Jim: Oh right. Like he doesn’t know I love him?

Sully: Jim honey, you told him you wish you had never met him. 

Jim: It came out wrong. 

Rafe: Well he heard it the way it came out. Go and get him. 

Brown: Don’t screw up, Ellison. 

Jim stood up and walked out the door and walked outside. He could hear that Blair was outdoors. He looked across the parking lot and saw Blair standing by their SUV. 

“I’m so sorry, Chief. I really am. I was angry, but I had no right to say that to you. I would be dead if you weren’t in my life. So forgive me?”

Blair went into his arms and just held on for dear life. “I love you Jim.”

“But do you forgive me?”

“No.”

“What can I do to make it better?” Jim pleaded. 

“Nothing. There is nothing to do. We’re doing a survey. You should be able to say and do whatever you want. That’s why you don’t have to apologize.” Blair explained. 

“I disagree, baby. I love you so much. I got jealous about you being at a nudist colony with your clothes off and went nuts.”

“Jim, I never said I took my clothes off. Do I look insane?”

Jim pulled him into his arms and just held on for a while. “You are too much. No, you’re just enough.”

“Jim, you’re getting a little mushy here. Let’s go home and you can fuck me brainless.” Blair offered. 

They walked in, said goodbye, and were back in the SUV within ten minutes. 

Everyone in the room smiled as they drove off. 

Simon: I think they’re getting the hang of this. 

Sully: I think so too. 

Rafe: Finally. 

Brown: It just takes practice. 

Dan: Practice makes perfect. 

Sam: You can say that again. 

Joel: I’m glad they’re working things out on their own and are happy. I love those boys together. 

Connor: We all do. And things will be fine. Sully, can Joel and I use your office.

Simon: No!

Everyone left laughing and smiling. These were the Sullivan’s Pub’s they loved to have. 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 69  
Funny Sayings

 

Thank you all for reading and still hanging in here.


	70. The Gang Answers Blair's Survey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor takes the survey she had Sandy do and lets everyone have their say on it.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 70  
The Gang Answers Blair's Survey  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor  
   
Date: September 12, 2003  
Status: new  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this.   
   
More notes: This one is very sweet and funny. 

Warning: m/m bad language. No beta.   
   
Summary: Connor takes the survey she had Sandy do and lets everyone have their say on it.   
   
***********************************************************

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 70  
The Gang Answers Blair's Survey  
Patt

When everyone arrived, Connor was ready and waiting. 

Connor: Sit down everyone. We’re ready to go. 

Simon: Good, sooner we get done, the sooner we can go home. 

Sully: You don’t have fun here?

Simon: Yes, but you told me you were giving me something special tonight. So I want it. 

Everyone laughed. 

Connor: Okay, Sandy took this survey and you’re all going to answer his survey with some answers of your own. Good luck and god speed. 

 

Blair: LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Jim allows me to live as long as I don’t break any of his good junk. I can’t rearrange anything and I can’t make messes. I can never hurt the children or make Jim cook too much. In return for all of this, he let’s me live. 

Jim: This is so unfair. I would never hurt him and he knows it. 

Joel: I agree. Jim wouldn’t hurt him. I might. 

Connor: Be nice, honey bear. 

Rafe: I think it’s true. If he follows Jim’s rules, he can live. I’m down with that, Sandburg. 

Brown: I liked this, Sandburg. Very funny. 

Dan: I loved it too, Blair. 

Sam: You do know that he would never hurt you, right?

Blair: Of course I do.

Simon: I could still hurt you. So how come we don’t have rules like this at the station?

Blair: Because I don’t let you fuck me. 

Simon: Oh for gods sake. I should have known that was coming. So you’re saying since Jim fucks you, you have to do things his way?

Jim: This is getting way off track. 

Simon: Shut up Ellison, I want an answer. 

Blair: It’s true, sort of. 

Jim: Blair, it isn’t. 

Sully: Jim, it is. 

Jim: Fine. 

Simon: You always get pissed off when he isn’t wrong. What does that say about you?

Jim: I’m an insensitive bastard and Blair should leave my ass behind. 

Blair: Stop it. Jim, I’m sorry. It was a joke. Only a joke. 

Simon: I knew he was going to say that. 

Sully: Maybe we should move on. 

Simon: Is your name Simon? I think not. Maybe we should move this along. 

 

Blair: BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING NOW:  Jim and I both are reading the Janet Evanovich Series. That Stephanie Plum is a hoot. Jim reads it and says, Stephanie is an idiot and should not be allowed to have a gun. I read it and say, “Hello? Do we forget how many times you’ve dropped your gun?”

Everyone laughed. 

Rafe: You do drop your gun a lot. 

Jim: And you never have?

Rafe: Yeah, but this isn’t about me. 

Jim: Lucky shit. 

Brown: I think that’s a riot. I’m also reading that series Jim. I love her books. 

Jim: We do too. 

Simon: Excuse me, you can discuss this at lunch. 

Sully: You can’t tell them when they can discuss things, Si. Settle down. 

Dan: I love the series also. And I’ll discuss it anywhere I please. 

Sam: I’ve just started and I howl on almost every page I read. 

Sully: Can I read when you’re done so Simon and I can read it too?

Simon: I don’t want to. 

Sam: Fine Sully can borrow it. No way is he going to be able to read it, understood? 

Everyone laughed. 

Joel: Meggie and I are reading them too. Very good series. 

Simon: Look Conner, a lull in the action. 

 

Blair: WERE YOU A THUMB SUCKER: No, but I have gotten quite attached to sucking Jim’s cock every night and every morning. Does this count? It does to Jim. He loves having his cock sucked. He says I’m pretty good at it too. I don’t need no stinkin thumb. 

Jim: (Falls out of his chair laughing.) Chief, you’re too funny. But you do suck well. 

Joel: I bet he does. 

Jim: What do you mean by that?

Joel: He has wonderful lips. I just figured they would be good around the cock. 

Blair: Excuse me… I’m still here. 

Dan: You do have nice lips, Blair. 

Sam: Yes, you do. 

Sully: I think you have the best lips of all the men. So I bet you could suck better. Let’s have a contest. 

Simon: No! We’re not having a contest. For Christ’s sake. 

Rafe: I wouldn’t mind being in the contest. 

Brown: You do have pretty lips, Hairboy. 

Jim: The next one to say he has pretty lips is going to get his face smashed in. 

Connor: Why?

Jim: I don’t want you all talking about him like that. He’s mine. 

Blair: I love when he gets ‘all’ primal. 

Simon: Let’s move this before I get ‘all’ primal.

Blair:  FAVORITE MAGAZINE: National Geographic. We like the naked people in it.

Jim: This is true. 

Dan: I agree. 

Sam: I do too. 

Joel: We have to start getting it Meggie. 

Connor: It’s on my list, big guy. 

Rafe: I’ve never read one. Honestly. 

Brown: They’re really good. We’ll subscribe and you’ll be in for a real treat. 

Sully: We already get it. I love reading and looking at pictures. 

Simon: So do I. Now we can move. 

 

Blair:  FAVORITE SMELLS:  Jim. Jim’s come. Jim after a shower. Jim before a shower. Basically, just love the way Jim smells. 

Jim: (Leans into Blair and kisses him.) Thanks, Baby. I love the way you smell too. 

Simon: I don’t think that’s what this question was about. 

Connor: You can answer it anyway you like. I liked his answers. So did Jim. 

Joel: Couldn’t agree with you more, Meggie. 

Rafe: Maybe we should all have a wiff of this smell so we can see what we’re missing. 

Brown: Good idea, Bri. Can you give us a sample in a few minutes?

Sully: (laughing) You two boys need a spanking. 

Simon: Don’t tell them that, they’ll think they’re getting one and get excited. 

Rafe: Back to the smell, I want to know what we’re missing. Tonight. 

Jim: You can shit and fall back in it, Rafe.

Rafe: Or I could do that. (Laughing)

Simon: Look what time it is, Conner.

 

Blair:  LEAST FAVORITE SMELL:  A woman or man’s scent on Jim’s clothing. It drives me nuts. I’m insanely jealous. 

Jim: I love when you’re territorial. 

Simon: Jealous. You? I never would have pegged you for jealous. 

Sully: Don’t tease Blair, honey. 

Blair: It’s okay. I don’t mind being jealous. Neither does my man. 

Joel: I love when you call him your man. That is past cute. 

Jim: You hear that, Chief? You’re past cute. 

Blair: Damn they found out. 

Dan: You two are a riot. 

Sam: Which two. They’re all funny. 

Rafe: So like if I kissed him, you would get angry? 

Blair: Yes. 

Rafe leaned into Jim and kissed him on the lips. Blair smacked Jim hard on the back of the head. 

Jim: Hey, he’s the one doing the kissing. 

Blair: Were your hands paralyzed?

Rafe: Hey, knock it off. Did you see that Henri? 

Brown: It was me that smacked you, Bri. 

Rafe: Oh. 

Simon: Connor, move it.

 

Blair:  FAVORITE SOUNDS:  Jim begging in bed. Jim begging on the sofa. Jim begging on the kitchen table. Jim begging in the shower. Jim begging in the truck. Okay, if you want one other thing, I love the sounds of our children when they laugh or fight. Both are cute. 

Jim: (Glaring at Blair.) Do you think you could have put any more embarrassing things on this survey? 

Blair: I didn’t know it was coming here. Honest. I thought it was for she and me. 

Connor: I did tell him that Jim. But you have to admit; some of this stuff is wonderful. He’s so in love with you.

Jim: (Leans down and kisses Blair soundly.) I’m sorry. 

Sully: They are such a sweet couple. 

Simon: I think you sleep too much or something. Do you not see some of the stuff that happens between them? 

Sully: But most of it’s good. I love them as a couple. Don’t you. 

Simon: Yes. 

Sam: What do you mean she sleeps too much? What in the hell does that have to do with anything?

Sully: Yeah, what did you mean? 

Simon: I meant, you were sleeping through the fights lately. 

Sam: Oh!

Dan: Makes perfect sense now doesn’t it?

Sam: Not really, but I’ll let it go at that. 

Rafe: I think Sandburg and Ellison are a great couple. 

Brown: That’s not the question. 

Rafe: Who cares? Do you like them together?

Brown: Oh yeah. 

Rafe: Then hush. 

Simon: Oh look, it’s almost time to go home. 

 

Blair:  WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Coming in Jim’s ass before he’s come and feeling like I’ve left him hanging. 

Jim: Chief, I can’t believe you said this. 

Blair: I’m sorry. 

Rafe: Do you do that often? Leave him hanging? 

Blair: I try not to. But sometimes he just feels too fucking good. 

Simon: Quit it. I don’t want to hear this. 

Sully: We do. Go on, Blair. 

Blair: That was all. 

Simon: Thank god. 

Rafe: It happens to me sometimes too, Sandburg. And I feel bad for Henri. He feels so fucking good too. 

Brown: Why don’t you tell everyone, babe?

Rafe: I just did. 

Joel: Well I think I’ve come a few times in Meggie before she did. I felt bad. But I just waited and made it up to her. 

Dan: I’ve had the same happen with Sam. I always make it up to her later. 

Sam: Oh he does. He really does. 

Simon: Fine, I’ve jumped the gun a few times with Sully. And she’s really sweet. She just waited until I was ready again. 

Sully: Sometimes it’s a week later, but who is counting?

Simon: Very funny. Connor, time to move this along. 

 

Blair:  THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?  My hard cock up Jim’s ass. You can’t miss it; it’s almost touching the ceiling. 

Jim: I didn’t think the other one could be topped. I was fucking wrong. 

Blair: I’m sorry. 

Rafe: Is his cock that big? (Laughing hard.)

Brown: He just means it feels that big, because he wants Jim so bad. 

Blair: Exactly. 

Sam: I love this. Very sweet and sexy at the same time. 

Dan: I say this all the time. Just not to our friends. 

Laughter breaks out. 

Sam: OH I have to tell you this really fast. A cop told me at the courthouse.   
New Miranda rights

1\. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.

2\. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth.

3\. You have the right to have your lawyer run with you. Should he refuse, a recent Law School graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along with you.

4\. If while running, you suddenly decide to end the race, beware that my K-9 may or may not understand your intentions, and may continue his pursuit of you in full stride.

5\. You may stop running at any time, at your own risk.

6\. Good luck. On your mark, get set.... GO!!!!!

Simon: (Howling) I want this on a plaque for my office. 

Sully: Sam, that’s a riot. 

Jim: I love it too. 

Blair: It’s a riot. 

Joel: We need more cop stories like that. 

Connor: Okay, I’ll see what I can find. 

Simon: Could we move on?

 

Blair:  HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?  That damn Jim, answers on the first or second ring. He thinks he’s Batman, Superman or Spiderman. Only Super Heroes answer their phones like that. Right? Am I right, Connor? He reminds me more of Batman. Yeah, Batman. Everyone sing the song now. 

Jim: You think I think I’m some superhero. 

Blair: No, I do. 

Simon: He does, Jim. He thinks you can’t do wrong. 

Jim: Well he knows that I can. 

Sully: We all can. But if I were to choose, I’d say you were Batman. 

Sam: Oh me too, I agree. 

Dan: I think Batman also. 

Rafe: Batman all the way, Ellison. 

Brown: You could fill that great suit out well. 

Joel: I was going to say that, but didn’t want to appear sexist. 

Simon: We could move on, Connor. 

 

Blair:  FUTURE CHILD'S NAME:  We’re done with kids, so there shouldn’t be any future ones. Wait a minute. Is this a trick question? Is there something I need to know about Jim? 

Jim: No, there is nothing to know about me. 

Sully: That we know of. (Giggling.)

Simon: Don’t start trouble.

Rafe: This one’s boring. 

Connor: Fine, we’ll move on as soon as the boss tells me too. 

Simon: Move it. 

 

Blair:  WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?  Jim and our children.

Jim: (Kisses Blair.) Thank you. I love you too. 

Simon: This is another no brainer. Let’s move on.

 

Blair:  CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?  We both love Chocolate. 

Connor: I say we move on. This is boring. 

 

Blair:  DO YOU DRIVE FAST: No, I have a chauffeur that does that for me. His name is Jim.

Jim: Smart ass. (Whacks Blair up side the head)

Joel: You have to admit, Jim, he’s funny. And he’s cute. 

Simon: That’s true. 

Dan: I agree. We all think he’s cute and funny. 

Sam: Well I agree too. 

Sully: Jim honey do you drive too fast? 

Jim: No, he just teases me. 

Rafe: I’ve ridden with him before and he’s a crazy man. 

Brown: Same here. And he made me ride in the back once when he still had his pickup. 

Jim: I did not. 

Blair: He’s talking about the time you had him hold that mirror in the back while you drove after a suspect. 

Jim: Oh. You’re right, Henri. Sorry. 

Simon: I think we’re done. Move it. 

 

Blair:  DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL:  Just Jim. He’s quite the animal. 

Connor: Does he let you cuddle with him all night long? 

Blair: Yes, if I want to. 

Dan: Does he let you touch him all night long?

Blair: Sure if I want to. 

Simon: Does he ever wake up?

Blair: If I let him. 

Dan: What do you mean, if you let him? 

Blair: I’m teasing. He wakes up if I’m active. 

Sully: You make it sound like you’re talking about Rayne or something. 

Sam: It’s funny. 

Rafe: So can he get it up all night long if you wanted him to?

Jim: It’s no ones business. 

Blair: Yes, he sure can. 

Jim: Chief, I just said no. 

Blair: tough. I can’t have them thinking you’re a loser in bed. 

Simon: Could we move this along?

 

Blair:  STORMS - COOL OR SCARY:  I love them, but they sometimes hurt little Rayney’s ears. We’ve been working on some things for little Sentinels and it’s going well. I should write a book, eh? The Short Guide to Little Sentinels.

Jim: (Falls on the floor howling with laughter.) Chief, you are so damn funny. 

Simon: He is. That’s cute. 

Joel: I think it’s cute too. 

Dan: It is. 

Rafe: I think you should write children’s books. You’d be good at it. 

Brown: OH yeah, that would be perfect for you. 

Sully: I agree with all of you. 

Sam: I think Blair could do anything he wanted to do. 

Connor: I have to say that this one made me smile for days. I love that title, Sandy. 

 

Blair:  WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR:  1965 Mustang. The stories I could tell you about that. 

Jim: I don’t want to hear them. 

Rafe: I do. 

Blair: Well one thing, it’s great to be short because you can fuck someone in the back seat easily. I used to do it all the time. Man, I couldn’t fuck enough.

Dan: How old were you?

Blair: 15 and 16. 

Sam: Wow, you started really young. 

Blair: Well, what can I say? I love sex. 

Rafe: Are you making this all up Sandburg?

Blair: Yup. 

Brown: So you didn’t have this car and have sex in it all the time?

Blair: I had sex sometimes, but not in a car. Not until I met Jim. 

Simon: I knew it. I knew it would come back and bite us all in the butt. 

Sully: So you made love in Jim’s SUV?

Blair: Oh yeah. 

Jim: Could we move this? 

Simon: My job, Jim. Move it along, Connor.

 

Blair:  HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?  Yes, and I’m still there. 

Jim: I love you, Blair. 

Joel: They are a precious couple. 

Sam: I agree. 

Dan: I love these types of nights. 

Sully: I couldn’t agree more, Dan. 

Simon: I do love when they’re not fighting. 

Rafe: I even love those nights. I just love them. 

Brown: Bri, that was so nice. 

Jim: Thank you everyone. You’re the best of friends. 

Simon: Connor, you can move now. 

 

Blair: 19.YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?:  My sign says, “Wake up and smell the roses. None of that crap means anything. What are important are Jim and the kids. Fuck Zodiac signs.

Jim: (Pulls Blair into a long kiss.) I love you so much, Chief.

Blair: Good, I’m glad. 

Sully: This is so true, Blair. 

Sam: I agree. 

Dan: That what’s important is Jim and the kids? 

Sam: You know what I mean. Family is the most important thing in the world. 

Simon: True. 

Rafe: Again, I have to bow down to Hairboy. He’s getting close to perfect. 

Brown: Not perfect, just fucking good. 

Blair: Thank you, Henri. I don’t want to be perfect either. 

Jim: (Pulls him in for another kiss.)

Simon: Let’s go to the next one before Jim fucks him on the table. 

 

Connor: I would not be against that, Jim and Blair. Whatever you feel comfortable with. 

Simon: Move it Missy. 

Connor: Jim, did you hear him call me Missy?

Jim: Simon, that’s my pet name for her. Knock it off. 

Simon: Oh for god’s sake, move it.

 

Blair: 20. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI:  No, I give them to Jim and make him eat them. 

Jim: He does. 

Rafe: Henri makes me eat his too. 

Brown: We’re smart cookies. 

Jim: Until your come start tasting like Chocolate Chip cookie dough; you aren’t that smart.

Simon: Jim, I can’t believe you said that. 

Sully: (Falling out of her chair laughing.) Good one, Jim. 

Sam: It was a good one, Jim. 

Dan: Wouldn’t that be great, Sammy? You’re not wild about the taste, but what if it was cookie dough flavored? 

Sam: I don’t know how to tell you this, but this isn’t going to happen. 

Dan: Maybe I could rub my penis down with the dough and we go from there. 

Simon: Stop it. I don’t want to hear this shit. Move it along, Connor. 

 

Blair: 21.  IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT COLOR?  I’ve always wanted to be a blond. But grouchy won’t let me. (That’s Simon) Jim won’t either.

Simon: Oh fuck you, Sandburg. 

Jim: Sir, don’t say that to him. He was only joking. 

Simon: How would you like to be the grouchy one all the time?

Jim: I’m grouch #2.

Simon: Oh yeah. Sorry Sandburg. 

Joel: Never dye your hair. 

Connor: I agree, Sandy. 

Rafe: I think it would look punked up blond. 

Brown: It’s punked out and I still don’t want him to do it. 

Sam: I think Blair would look gorgeous in any color hair. 

Dan: I agree with my wife. 

Sully: I agree with them. Do whatever makes you happy, honey. 

Jim: Blair, do you really want to dye your hair?

Blair: No. I was just teasing. 

Rafe: Damn. I think it would have been bitchin.

Simon: Oh look, we can move along. 

 

Blair: 22.  GLASS - HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? I’m very optimistic. Half full, half full. As an example, I touch Jim and say, “Hot damn. You’re half hard.”

Jim: I don’t believe you said this. (Everyone sees him laughing)

Joel: This is a riot, Blair. Very funny.

Simon: I agree. 

Blair: What do you agree to? 

Simon: To Jim saying I can’t believe you said it.

Blair: It’s not bad. It’s good. 

Sam: I think it’s a wonderful look inside their lives. 

Jim: But sometimes I don’t want anyone there. 

Dan: Tough. We love you and I love that Blair used this to describe how he looks at life. This is so Blair. 

Sully: I totally agree. He’s a wonderful, open, loving and fun person. And he would be like this. 

Rafe: I don’t think it sounded bad at all. 

Simon: That’s because you all fuck men. 

Brown: Well I think someone else here is getting their ass fucked, so what difference does it make. 

Simon: Me? I’m not sleeping with a guy. 

Rafe: We never said a guy. 

Laughter breaks out and Simon lays his head on the table. 

Simon: (Softly says) Could we move this along?

 

Blair: 23.  DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS:  Sometimes, I’m not paying attention, so they’re on the wrong keys. Boy, is that hard to understand. Simon always makes me redo those reports. Damn him. 

Simon: You have never handed in a bad report. They are damn near perfect every time. 

Jim: He’s cute isn’t he? (Leans in for more kissing.)

Simon: I said something nice and I didn’t get a kiss. (Whining, but smiling.)

Jim pulled him close and began to kiss Simon. It went on for some time and finally Jim pulled away. 

Jim: Better?

Simon: Oh much. Shit…

Joel: I’m just going to sit on the floor for the rest of the night. Thanks for the laugh, Blair. 

Rafe: We all have to type up good ones since Sandburg started. 

Brown: We’ve always typed them nicely, Bri. 

Rafe: I just wanted to whine. 

Brown: Let me run and get some cheese. 

Connor: You guys are on a roll tonight.

Rafe: Henri, ask them if they have rolls while you’re there. 

Everyone laughs. 

Sully: I don’t know about this one, but can’t imagine Blair doing anything but good. But honey, this is so funny about the wrong and right keys. You are a pill. 

Sam: I agree with my sis. 

Dan: So do I. 

Simon: Oh look, time to move. 

 

Blair: 24.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: 2,347 Seriously, it’s five. There are five in our family, so I feel like that’s our lucky and favorite number. 

Jim: I love you, baby. 

Joel: He’s mushy tonight, isn’t he? 

Jim: Yes he is. 

Simon: I think we all agree about this one, so lets move it along. 

 

Blair: 25.  FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH:  WWF Smackdown. Jim always wrestles with me on the bed while we watch. We have the best sex life. 

 

Simon: He doesn’t really does he?

Blair: What?

Simon: Wrestle on the bed with you and then have sex while watching it? 

Jim: No!!!!

Blair: Fine, it was all a big fat lie. 

Rafe: Now I think he’s lying. I think that they are fucking during the Smackdown. 

Brown: It sounds hot to me. 

Joel: Meggie, I think this sounds like it might be fun. 

Connor: I agree honey bear. 

Dan: We’re going to start too. 

Sam: Oh goody. My kind of fun sports. 

Sully: Well I won’t be because my husband thinks it’s stupid. 

Simon: You want to do this?

Sully: Oh yeah. We can take turns being the top. 

Everyone bursts out laughing and Simon starts hitting his head on the table. 

Sam: Nothing is sacred here, Simon. 

Simon: Oh how I know. Could we move it along?

 

Blair: 26.  SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS: That damn Connor is making me do this while no one else has to. Why is that again, Connor? Oh, I have to say something nice. Hmmmm. I love Connor; she is my best friend and can be counted on for anything. I love you, girl. 

Jim: She is a good friend. 

Blair: That she is. 

Sully: We’re all very lucky to have each other. 

Simon: I agree. Even when I’m grouchy you all seem to understand. 

Sam: Sully makes us. 

Dan: Sam, that wasn’t nice. True, but not nice. 

Simon: You’ll pay for it later. 

Joel: I’m so glad you love my wife, Blair. She’s an angel. 

Rafe: Hey, we love her too. 

Brown: Yeah, what he said. 

Simon: I think we could move this along now. 

 

Blair: 27.  WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED: There is nothing under the bed. You could eat off the floor under all of our beds. Jim keeps that house spotless. I’ll invite you all for dinner in our room tomorrow. We’ll have Tuna Casserole, ala floor. 

Joel: Jim, is your floor this clean? 

Jim: Probably so. (Blushing)

Connor: I’ve gone while he cleans and I want to hire him to do my house. 

Rafe: Does it bother you that our house isn’t as clean?

Jim: Nope. 

Brown: So it’s just your house?

Jim: Yep. 

Dan: I have eaten off their floor. 

Jim: When? 

Dan: With Rayney the last time I was over. She was feeding me off the floor. 

Jim: Oh for gods sake don’t let her do that to you again. The floor is dirty. 

Blair: He’s a little OCD.

Jim: What’s that?

Blair: Monk. 

Jim: Oh GOD!!!!!

Sully: You’re not honey. If you were, you’d be trying to clean our houses too. 

Simon: We could get going now. 

 

Blair: 28.  TOILET PAPER/PAPER TOWELS - OVER OR UNDER: Over. I’m a top kind of guy. 

All the men started laughing but Jim. 

Jim: Very funny, Chief. 

Blair: It was a joke. Plus I didn’t know big mouth was going to share it with everyone. 

Connor: What happened to I’m your best friend?

Blair: You’re my best friend with a big mouth. 

Connor: Okay, I can live with that. 

Rafe: Shouldn’t make jokes about a man being a man. 

Blair: So if I had made the joke about me it would have been fine? 

Rafe: No, it still wouldn’t have been funny. Don’t make the jokes. 

Brown: They have no sense of humor. We all know he’s a total bottom anyhow. (Laughing his ass off.)

Jim: See, this is what happens. 

Simon: I think it’s kind of funny. 

Sully: Well you’re a bottom too Simon. So shut up. 

Everyone laughed except Simon. 

Simon: I don’t think it’s that funny anymore. 

Joel: I’m a man that doesn’t mind anything. If Meggie to fuck my ass three times a day, I would consider myself lucky. 

Connor: You got it big guy. 

Simon: Could we move it now? 

 

Blair: 29.  OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAILED THIS TO, WHO'S THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND: I haven’t emailed it to anyone. And if Connor knows what’s good for her, she won’t show this to a soul. 

Simon: Well this one is a given, so let’s move to the next.

 

Blair: 30.  LEAST LIKELY:  Jim or Simon.

Jim: I would respond to this, Chief. 

Simon: I wouldn’t. 

Blair: Okay, I was wrong. Just Simon. 

Rafe: I think it’s cool that you let us be good guys on this one. 

Blair: That’s cuz you’re good guys. 

Brown: Thank you, Blair. 

Joel: I would respond also, Blair. 

Blair: I know you would, Joel. You’re my main man. Stop glaring at me, Jim. I mean at work. 

Sam: Am I your main woman? 

Blair: I’m not even going there. 

Dan: You better not be. 

Sully: You all are cracking me up tonight. Thank you. 

Simon: Time for what? To move? I think so. 

 

Blair: 31.  BELIEVE IN GOD: I believe in a higher power than us. But as God per say, no. I believe in Jim and myself. I believe in our friends. I believe in our jobs and their importance. I believe our children will love us forever, even when they get older and find out what we do for sex. I believe that we have the best friends and life. And last but not least, I believe that Jim loves me more than anyone ever could. 

Jim leaned into Blair and everyone could see he was moved beyond words. He whispered, “I love you baby. I love you so much. You’ll never know how much. Don’t you ever leave me.”

Blair: I won’t honey. 

Rafe: He just called him honey. 

Brown: Wasn’t that sweet? 

Jim: I love when he calls me anything. (The kissing begins.)

Simon: I do have to admit that this was one of the nicest, sweetest and loving things I’ve ever heard in my life. 

Sully: Whoa. 

Sam: Yeah, what sis said. 

Dan: I think that Blair is very romantic. It shows. 

Jim: I love him very much. (Everyone could see that Jim had tears in his eyes.)

Dan: Why thank you, Jim. (Trying to take the seriousness out for a while.)

Jim: Very funny. 

Simon: Oh look what time it is?

 

Blair: 32.  2%, 1%, WHOLE, NONFAT, OR SKIM MILK:  We drink 2%. 

33.  RED OR WHITE SAUCE ON PASTA: I like Red, Jim likes white. 

34.  COKE OR PEPSI: We both like Dr. Pepper. 

35.  DO YOU WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT EVERY TIME YOU ARE IN THE CAR: Only if Jim catches me not wearing it. 

Connor: These all are pretty much simple. We can answer or not. 

Jim: I have to say; you had better start wearing that seat belt. I can’t lose you, Chief. 

Blair: All right. I will. I love you, Babe.

Rafe: They are too cute for words. 

Simon: Then why bring it up. Connor, let’s move to the next section. 

 

Blair: 36.  ARE YOU A PILLAR OF COMMUNICATION: My real name is Blair-lets talk about it-Sandburg. So yeah, I’ll talk about anything, anywhere and at anytime. Jim hates that part of my personality, I’m sure. 

 

Jim: I do not. I love to listen to you. 

Rafe: Listen to him nag?

Jim: Listen to him anything. His voice is soothing. 

Joel: Oh Lord, they are both romantic. 

Simon: I do believe you’re right. 

Dan: I’m glad you have each other, Jim and Blair. You’re made for the other one. 

Blair: Thank you, Dan. 

Jim: (Gets up and leaves the room.)

Simon: Shit, did I say something shitty?

Blair: No, I think he was going to cry. He doesn’t think that real men cry. 

Dan: I cry. 

Joel: I cry also. 

Simon: Often?

Blair: See, this is why Jim is afraid to cry in front of anyone. He thinks he’ll appear weak. 

Sully: And you? 

Blair: I cry whenever I need to. Real men cry. Strong men know how to do it well. 

Rafe: Oh I love that. Write that down, Connor. Please?

Brown: I do too. Could someone go and get Jim?

Dan: I’ll get him. 

When Dan walked in Jim was washing his face over and over again. Dan walked up and rubbed his back until Jim leaned into Dan. “It’s okay, Jim. We all know this has been an emotional night. And Blair has said some pretty serious things about you and he.”

“He loves me so much, I just don’t want to fuck it up.” Jim said sadly. 

“You won’t. Come on. Let’s go out and be with our friends. They love you no matter what.” Dan led Jim into the special Sullivan’s Survey Room and shut the door. 

Blair: I love you.

Jim: And I love you.

Simon: That sounds like a good place to start the next one, Connor. 

 

Blair: 37.  WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TONIGHT: Dinner, dancing, bathing and then it’ll be time for Jim and I. We’ll watch CSI and Without A Trace. We really like those shows. 

Everyone burst out laughing and Blair did too. 

Jim: You don’t know how true this is. 

Sam: Same at our house. Danny likes to watch to see if they do things the right way. 

Dan: They do most of the time, but it’s like at warp speed. In real life it would take months for some of the results to be figured out. 

Simon: You all are putting way too much into it. I just relax and watch. 

Rafe: I love both shows. 

Brown: I do too. 

Joel: Jim and Blair got us hooked on them, so we watch also. 

Sully: OH we never miss them. 

Simon: We could move this along now. 

 

Blair: 38.  LAST CONCERT YOU WENT TO:  Santana. It was for Jim’s birthday and it was a surprise. 

Jim: That was so much fun. 

Blair: Do you all remember the look on his face when he saw the tickets?

Joel: I’ll never forget. 

Connor: It was the best concert I’ve ever been too. Thank you again, Sandy. 

Rafe: That was a good one. It was a good night for a birthday, Jim. 

Jim: Yeah, it was. 

Brown: I think we should plan something soon. 

Dan: I had a blast too. 

Sam: I had never seen them in concert, so that meant a lot to me. 

Sully: Same here, Sam. I loved it too. 

Simon: I did also and I think we could safely move on. 

 

Blair: 39.  HOW MUCH JEWELRY DO YOU WEAR:  We both wear watches and a necklace. Instead of rings, we wear the necklaces. His has a Wolf on it and mine has a Black Jaguar on it. 

Jim: Does it bother you that we don’t wear rings? 

Blair: Not at all. Not to worry. 

Simon: I think this one’s just for them. 

 

Blair: 40.  IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE:  I wouldn’t have hurt Jim so many times over the years. I plan on making it up to him as time goes on. I love him more than life itself. 

Jim: Baby, you haven’t hurt me at all. God, I love you so much. Don’t worry about if you’ve hurt me through the years. Who cares? We love each other and that’s all that’s important. 

Blair: I did make some mistakes Jim. I’m willing to own up to them and move on. So we’ll do it together. I love you too. 

Simon: Okay, this is another one that should be between them. 

 

Blair: Words to live by. "In Law Enforcement the customer is ALWAYS wrong."

Jim: I love this one. We all need this for our desks.

Joel: I couldn’t agree more, Jim. 

Rafe: Yup, what the big guy said. 

Brown: Which big guy? 

Rafe: They said the same thing. 

Brown: Oh, okay, then. 

Sam: Henri, you’re such a goofball sometimes. 

Dan: But he’s ours. 

Simon: Yes, he is. 

Joel: I think we’re all damn lucky to call each other friends. 

Jim: Here, here. 

Sully: This is the best group anyone could hope to be in. 

Sam: I love you all. Is this all Connor? 

Connor: Yes, you can all relax and go home now. 

And that’s exactly what they did. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 70  
The Gang Answers Blair's Survey  
Thank you for coming.


	71. Usually Quiet and Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: m/m bad language. No beta. Extreme violence. 
> 
> Summary: Sam is attacked in the middle of the night. Dan is out of town and it’s up to the bullpen gang to help her through this, until his return.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 71  
Usually Quiet and Calm  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor  
   
Date: September 21, 2003  
Status: new  
   
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this.   
   
More notes: Sad and angsty. 

Warning: m/m bad language. No beta. Extreme violence.   
   
Summary: Sam is attacked in the middle of the night. Dan is out of town and it’s up to the bullpen gang to help her through this, until his return.   
   
***********************************************************

Sullivan’s Pub Part 71  
Usually Quiet and Calm  
Patt

Everyone was sleeping in the Sandburg-Ellison home. At 2:00 Jim woke to the sound of a very small child crying. He listened closer and heard, “Jim and Bair.”

Jim sat up and said, “Tristan is out on the road. I have to go and get him. Then I’ll bring him here to stay with you. I’ll go and check on Sam. Dan is out of town.”

Blair was freaking out but tried to stay calm. Jim ran down the street and sure enough, Tristan was sobbing loudly for he and Bair. He picked the little guy up and ran to their home. Handing him over to Blair, he snuck a quick kiss to his love before he started to take off for Sam’s house. Blair handed him his coat and gun. “Be careful.”

“I will, Chief.” 

Blair took Tristan into their bedroom and calmed him, while he worried himself sick over what Jim was going to find. Not long after Blair heard sirens and saw an ambulance drive up to Sam’s house. 

Jim ran into his home again carrying the twins. “Blair, I need you to take the babies and care for them until I get back. I promised her I would watch out for them.”

“Don’t worry, babe. You know I’ll guard them with my life.” Blair kissed Jim and then pushed him out the door. 

Jim walked back into Sam’s house and knelt down next to her while the EMT’s were working on her poor battered body. “Did someone break in and attack you?” Jim knew he had to call Dan soon. Very soon. 

“He didn’t break in because it was my father. He was angry and drunk and decided to let me know he hated Sully and me for marrying men of the wrong color. He said he would see to it that I never had a child with Danny again. God, he hates us so much. He said he wanted to kill the kids next. Jim, he fully intended to leave me dead. But the neighbor came home and spooked him.” Sam was getting weaker by the moment. 

There was a knock at the door and Simon walked in. “What happened here?”

Jim filled him in while the EMT’s finished up with Sam. One of the guys pulled Jim to the side and said, “Sir, I don’t think she’s going to make it.”

“Shut up. Don’t you ever say that again. I’ll ride with her and she’ll be fine.” Jim’s eyes were filled with tears. 

“Then get ready, we need to go now.”

Simon watched them drive off and went over to his house to tell Sully. He didn’t tell her it was her Father. Simon felt that she didn’t need that news right now. She kept crying as she was getting dressed. “Simon how did she look?”

“Honestly? Horrible. She was beat within an inch of her life.”

“Oh god, I can’t stand this. If Sam dies, I will too.” Sully moved into Simon’s arms and sobbed until Simon told her it was time to go. 

On his cell phone, he called all of their friends and told them they needed to get up there and see her, just in case. That made Sully cry even harder. 

By mid morning, Blair was about nuts. He was worried to death about the kids, but more worried about Sam. Why hadn’t Jim called?

Jim dialed the number that he had for Dan and heard, // Wolfe. //

“Dan? It’s Jim. There is an emergency and we need you to fly home this moment.”

// What’s wrong? //

“Dan, just come home.” Jim almost yelled. 

// Oh god, Sam died? She died didn’t she? //

“Dan, please get home now so she can see you.” Jim tried talking softly this time. 

// Is she dying, Jim? //

“That’s what the doctors are saying.”

// I’ll be there as quickly as I can. Take care of her until I get there. //

“You know I will, Dan. God speed.” Jim hung the phone up and blew his nose. He was becoming such a wuss these days, and didn’t even care. 

Sully walked into the room and went right into Jim’s arms. Then Jim lost it too. He was going to have to tell Sully what the doctor said. God, their Father didn’t deserve to live.

“Where is Sam?”

“Sully, let’s sit down and I’ll fill you in on what is happening with her.” Jim had to force her to sit and then he began. 

“The doctors took the MRI and found that her Spleen was on the verge of rupturing. Three ribs are broken and they made their way into Sam’s lungs. One of her kidneys was completely crushed and they’re taking it out. Her ovaries and all of her female organs are going to be taken out. Both of her legs are broken and one of her arms. She’s got broken vertebrae in her spine. Right now she’s paralyzed. The doctors don’t know what the outlook on that is. So they had to take her up for surgery, but they said that she might not make it.” Jim let out a big breath when he was done. 

“Oh god. Who would do this to her? She’s the most gentle person in the world.” She was still holding Jim’s hand. 

“It was your Father, Sully. He told Sam he was sick about both of you marrying men of the wrong color. And he would make her pay.” Jim saw the sadness in Sully’s face and leaned in to kiss her. 

“Jim, if I killed him, would I get off on temporary insanity?”

“No, honey. You’re too sane for that. We’ll take care of him and he’ll never get near her again.” 

Simon walked into the room and Sully got up and went into his arms and sobbed. He held his wife so close and knew there was nothing he could do but hold her. So that’s exactly what he would continue to do. 

Connor stopped by the hospital for a short time, and found out what was going on. Then she went over to Blair’s to fill him in. While she told him about all of the injuries, Blair began to cry. 

“Why did this man think his daughter’s life was worth so little? He must not have known her at all. She’s an angel. She’s done more for all of us, then we can even think of. We can’t lose her. There is no way.” Blair finished his rant and sat down. 

“Sandy, I’ll sit here at the house with you and the babies. We’ll make the best of the day. Simon told me to take the day off to help you.” Connor said with a smile. 

“Thank you, Connor. You’re a good friend.” Blair stood up and kissed her softly. 

Together they kept Tristan and the girls happy and well fed. Jade, Drake and Rayne were all wondering why they had a day off with Uncle Dan’s kids. The day flew by. 

At the hospital, Sam was out of surgery and in ICU. The prognosis wasn’t good. She was on a ventilator and barely alive. 

Jim heard Dan coming a long way off. He was frantic and on the verge of hysteria. Jim cut him off at the pass. He met him half-way and said, “You need to calm down. You have to be strong for this, Dan.”

“What happened to her, Jim?” The frightened man asked. 

So Jim filled him in on what had happened and Dan had tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“Come on Dan. We need you for her to get better. The doctors are saying she isn’t going to make it. I won’t allow that. I know you won’t. Right?”

“Right. Come on, we’ll give her nothing but positive strength.” The two men walked side by side absorbing strength from the other. 

Dan walked in and saw his battered wife lying in the bed and almost threw up. He couldn’t believe that anyone would do this to her. She was so darling and loving. Why didn’t her Dad talk to her first? Dan sat down next to the bed and held her good hand and said, “Sam, I’m here honey. I’m not leaving until you come home with me. So I need you to wake up soon and start breathing on your own. Please think about it, Sam. I love you, baby. Rest and get strong.”

Then Dan just lay his head down on the bed, next to her hand and rested too. But he never let go of her hand. 

The doctor called Dan into the hallway and said, “I’m Dr. Welsh. Your wife has a living will and doesn’t want to be kept alive by machines. I hope that you will follow those wishes. A lot of her injuries were repaired, but there was too much damage.”

“I just got here. I’m waiting at least two days to see all of the medical reports and then I’ll make a decision.” Dan almost shouted. 

“We can’t let you see the reports, sir.”

“I’m a Doctor. So I will see the reports or I’ll move her to another hospital. I want all of the surgical info right now.” Dan ordered. 

“I wasn’t aware that she was married to a Doctor.” Dr. Welsh said quietly. 

“Just bring me the surgical info.” Dan turned and walked back into the room. 

He sat down again by Sam and talked to her. “Sam, they want me to shut the ventilator off. They said you have a living will and it would be best. I need you to wake up soon. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave our children. It would be a sin for them to miss growing up, knowing you. Please wake up soon.” 

Jim pulled his chair next to Dan’s and rubbed his back. Dan was crying softly. “She’ll wake up, Dan. I know it.”

“I hope so, Jim. I don’t think I can do this without her.”

Jim leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Rest Dan, I’ll be here for both of you.”

The doctor came in about 4:00 a.m. and Jim followed him out into the hallway. 

“I have to tell you, I’m shocked that she’s still alive.”

“So this is a good thing?” Jim asked nervously. 

“Well if she would start breathing on her own it would be a better thing. So more talking to her and see if you can’t reach her subconscious.” Dr. Welsh then walked down to get those records for Dan. 

When Jim walked in, Dan was talking to Sam again. “The doctor went to get the records for you.”

“Good.” Dan said softly. 

Sully walked into the room and went to sit by Dan. “Danny, I’m so sorry about what our Father did.”

“It’s not your problem, it’s his. He’s the sick one. You’re both angels and I love you.” Dan kissed her cheek and went back to talking to Sam. 

Sully looked at Jim and said, “You go home and shower and rest a little while. I’ll be here with Dan.”

“I promised Dan that I would be here for him.” Jim stood his ground. 

Dan let go of Sam’s hand and said; “Go home. Rest for two hours and then come back. I love you, Jim.” Then he hugged Jim and pushed him out the door. 

Jim smiled the entire way out of the hospital. He drove home and once there, jumped in the shower. Blair woke and joined him. Jim didn’t think he’d be able to get it up for anything, but that was before Blair got into the shower naked with him. Blair prepared himself quickly and then bent over a little and leaned on the wall. Jim couldn’t get inside of him fast enough. 

Afterwards he asked, “I’m exhausted Chief. Do you mind if I catch a few hours?” 

“Not at all. I’ve got everything under control. I love you.” Blair kissed him softly as Jim started fading off. 

In a whisper Blair heard Jim say, “I love you. Forever.”

Blair gave all of the children a bath and then made breakfast. Things were going very well. The kids were all making a lot of noise laughing and teasing each other. Then Blair saw the look of horror come over Tristan’s face and he swung around but was too late. 

“Which one’s are the half-breeds?” The angry man shouted. 

“Please leave. These are my children.” Blair was almost begging. 

The man brought up his gun and aimed it at Tristan and cocked the trigger back. Blair dove in front of the little guy and when the gun went off, it of course went into Blair. Blair lay on the floor bleeding and unable to care for the kids now. He whispered Sentinel soft, “Please wake up Jim. Please wake up. He’s going to kill them all.”

“Praying ain’t gonna do you any good, fag.” Mr. Sullivan then pointed the gun at Drake, this time and Blair did beg. “Please. He’s done nothing.”

“He shouldn’t be brought up by you and your fag friend. He belongs in a good family.”

“Oh yeah, one like yours?” Blair was getting a second wind. 

Mr. Sullivan’ cocked the trigger to shoot Drake, but Jim was up and had his gun. He gave no warning or anything. He shot him right through the heart. Jim knew he hadn’t done the right thing, but he wasn’t going to lose his family. 

Jim ran over to Blair and asked, “Babe are you all right?”

“Jim, I have a bullet in me. What do you think?” Blair snapped. 

“It’s good to see you can still be a butthead.” Jim smiled down at him. He dialed 911 and told them what was happening. Then he used tablecloths to stop the bleeding. He took an extra one and covered up the asshole so the kids didn’t have to look. 

Jim then got up and grabbed all of the kids and took them to the floor near Poppy. “We need to be together.”

“Daddy, you’re naked.” Drake giggled. 

“Oh my gooness. I better go and get dressed. We don’t want anyone else seeing me naked.” Jim stood up and Jade said sweetly, “Daddy, I don’t mind seeing you naked.”

“I know. That’s why I need to get dressed now.” Jim almost laughed all the way into his room. 

“Tristan, doesn’t he have a nice penis?” Jade asked. 

“Jade, knock it off or you won’t be able to be around other children. 

“Geeze, you’re in a bad mood Poppy.” Jade’s little lip was stuck really far out now. 

Rayne was sitting next to her Poppy and she moved her head like Jim did when he was listening. She smacked Blair on the head and pointed to the door. 

Blair laughed and said, “Are the police here, Rayney? Now don’t let Daddy see you do that, or he’ll do that too. Is that what’s going on Lassie?”

The kids all looked at him like he was nuts. 

“Poppy, her name is Rayney.” Jade corrected. 

“I know honey. I’ve lost too much blood I think.” Blair said without thinking. 

Jade went howling into the bedroom and cried into Jim’s chest. “I just know Poppy’s going to die.”

“He’s not honey.”

“He said he was felt funny and he called Rayney, Lassie.”

“What?” Now Jim was alarmed. 

Rayney got up and waddled to the front door and waited. Jim came walking out of the room and lowered himself to check Blair out again and said, “What is Rayney doing?”

“She’s announcing the arrival of the ambulance and police. Isn’t she cute?” A bleeding Blair sniggered. 

Jim picked her up and opened the door and sure enough a police car and an ambulance drove up. “Chief, this isn’t funny at all.”

“I know, I’m trying to keep you from worrying when they take me off.”

“Blair, I’m going with you. I already called Linda. She’s heading over now.” Jim left no room for argument. 

Once Linda was there and everything thing was settled down, Jim rode in the ambulance with Blair. 

“How you doing slugger?” Jim teased as he sat next to him in the vehicle. 

“I feel really bad all of a sudden. I think something might be wrong.” Blair sounded very frightened. 

Jim turned to the EMT and said, “Mike, could you see if something is going wrong? Blair feels like there is.”

Jim moved aside while Mike checked him out and then he put an oxygen mask on him. “Breathe slowly Sandburg. You’ll be just fine. Let’s get to the hospital and let them do some x-rays.” Mike turned to Jim and said, “His blood pressure is dropping like crazy. Could you sit by him and try and calm him?”

Jim moved over and said, “I forgot to tell you how much I loved you today. I do, you know?”

Pulling up the mask, Blair said, “Jim, I’m not going to die from a bullet in the shoulder. Geeze, you’re so dramatic. But you’re damn cute. And did I mention how much I loved the way you fucked me this morning?”

Jim blushed as he looked over at Mike. Mike moved closer to the bed and said, “So tell us, Sandburg. What did he do?”

“Shut up. Leave him alone.” Jim growled. 

“He fucked me so nicely that I’ll never ever want to go back to you, Mike.” Blair giggled. 

“Oh you guys think you’re really funny don’t you? Fuck both of you.” Jim snarled. 

“Hear that Sandburg, I get to get fucked too. This is so cool.” Mike laughed his ass off even though he was worried about Blair. 

They pulled into the lot and everyone started to do their jobs. Before long Dr. Mason that Jim already knew, came out. “Hi Jim. The bullet moved a little and poked a hole in his lung. So we’re inflating again and putting him on oxygen therapy. He’ll be just fine. I have the bullet, it will be waiting for you to take to the station.”

“Thank you, Dr. Mason. When do I get to see him?”

“OH didn’t I tell you? He said he’s sick of you and doesn’t want to see you again.” Mason laughed all the way back as Jim followed him. 

“I’m going to get a fucking complex from you and Mike, the EMT.” But Jim was laughing too. 

He walked in the room and almost ran over to the bed. Blair looked so pale and lifeless. It scared the shit out of him. 

Doctor Mason must have seen the fear and wanted to head him off at the pass. “Jim, he’s fine. The surgery takes a lot out of a person. He’s getting blood and he’s getting oxygen. Stop worrying. Now sit there and hold his hand until he wakes up.”

Jim hugged the doctor quickly and said, “You have no idea how good it is to have a doctor be kind to us. Thank you.”

“Get your ass over there and sit down.” Mason laughed. 

“I take that back.” Jim smiled as he watched the wonderful doctor leave the room. 

Simon walked into the room and Jim stood up, not knowing what to expect. After all, he had just killed Simon’s Father-in-law. But what happened was Simon pulled him close and just loved him. 

Blair woke up and said, “Hey, stop making out with my boyfriend.”

Both men laughed loudly and Jim swooped down for a kiss. “Chief, glad you could join us.”

“I just had surgery. I don’t want to join you and Simon. Mess around on your own time.”

“Chief, we were just hugging.” Jim was suddenly upset. 

“It looked like more than that to me.” Blair still seemed angry. 

“Simon, would you run and tell the nurse that we need the Doctor?” Jim asked. 

“And while you’re out there could you like stay out?” Blair growled at him. 

“Blair, stop it.” Jim didn’t know what to do. 

“Fuck you, Ellison.” Blair said, as Doctor Mason walked in the door. 

“Doctor, I want this asshole out of my room, now.” Blair yelled. 

“Jim go upstairs, I know where you are. He’s having a reaction to the drugs. Don’t worry.”

“It’s not to the drugs. It’s a reaction to being married to an asshole.” 

“Jim, leave. Now.” Doctor Mason ordered. 

Jim walked out of the room and Simon was waiting for him. He could see Jim was upset. “Hey, I have to piss, do you?”

Jim looked at him like he was nuts. “No, but thanks for asking.”

“Well maybe you could come with me.” Simon yanked on his arm and pulled him into the restroom. 

“What in the fuck are you doing?” Jim bellowed.

“I thought maybe you wanted to pull yourself together before we go upstairs. You don’t look so good.” 

Jim washed his face, dried it and then looked at Simon coldly. “Let’s go.”

“Whatever.” Simon was out the door very quickly. 

When they got upstairs, Dan was thrilled to tell them his news. Sam had woken up, they took the vent out and she had whispered out a greeting to Dan. 

“Thank god, Dan. I’m so glad to hear it.” Jim said sadly. 

“Jim, what’s wrong?” Dan asked standing closer to his friend. 

“I shot Mr. Sullivan.”

“Good. Too bad you didn’t kill him.” Dan wasn’t a happy man. 

“I did kill him, Dan. So I’ve got to tell Sully and Sam.” Jim continued. 

Sam called from her bed, “Jim come here.”

“Hey gorgeous. How are you doing?” // That’s a very stupid question, Ellison. // 

“Thank you for keeping him away from Sully and me. He was always violent, but I had hoped he would get better as we got older. I’m not mad Jim. I love you.” 

Jim put his head on her bed and she rubbed his head until he fell asleep. 

Dan took Simon out into the hall and asked him what was going on. 

“Your dear Father-in-law shot Blair and almost killed him. Now Blair is having a reaction to the drugs, so Jim was upset. The adverse effect made him scream terrible things at Jim.” Simon tried to explain. 

The doctor walked up to the doorway and said, “Are we having a party here? Or should we take it inside?” He smiled and walked into the room. 

Jim jumped when he came in and stood at attention. “Wow, I like this effect I’m having on you. Could you teach it to my co-workers?”

Simon walked over and put his arm around Jim’s shoulders and hugged him briefly. 

The doctor began, “I wanted to tell you how much therapy you’re going to need. You’ll know what to expect and how much it will hurt. I think you’ll be able to go home in about three weeks. So eat, rest and get strong if you want to do that.”

“Thank you Doctor.” Sam was so relieved. 

“Your therapy will start today. I want everyone out of the room while you go through it.”

“Understood.” Dan said quietly. 

When Jim left the room, he felt good about Sam. He knew things would be all right, but he also knew she was going to need a lot of therapy. 

As he went towards the elevator he saw Sully with red eyes and felt like shit. Jim stood still and lowered his head, hoping she wouldn’t notice him. 

“Jim, look at me.”

“I’m so sorry Sully. So very sorry.” Jim looked as if he were going to break. 

“Honey, don’t be sorry. He used to abuse us our entire lives. We never dreamed he would begin this crap again. So I thank you. You saved my sister and myself. I love you.” Sully kissed him firmly. 

“Why were you crying?” Jim asked sadly. 

“Because I just left Blair’s room. He’s having a very hard time. The doctor sent me up to get you. Things are not as well as they had thought.”

“All right, I’ll talk to you in a little while. I love you, Sully.”

Sully kissed him again and pushed him into the elevator. 

Jim walked off of the elevator and heard Blair sobbing. He started running and Doctor Mason stopped him before he could go in. 

“Jim, he’s having some type of worse reaction and we can’t seem to get it under control. Right now he’s restrained. He tore his stitches open a while ago. We’re going to have to stitch him up again. He’s going to say terrible things to you. So I’m not sure it’s good for you to be in there.”

“I need to be with him. It’s all right, if he’s mean. He doesn’t mean it.” Jim opened the door and Blair started yelling, “Get the fuck out of my room. You made me into a fag. I hate being one. I hate what you do to me. Get out.”

“Chief, you can say whatever you want, but I’m not leaving.”

His Guide fought like crazy to get out of the restraints but it wasn’t getting him anywhere. Soon blood was showing up again in the wound area and they had to sedate him some more. 

Doctor Mason came in and said, “We think he gave a drug to Blair while Blair was lying on the ground. We need to find where it went in and see if we can figure it out.”

“I’ll do it sir. We need to undo his restraints.” Jim suggested quickly.

So Mason did and Jim started looking for the site. Just as he had done with Henri not that long ago and been successful.

Jim found it and Doctor Mason got it all cleaned out and had the rest taken down to the lab. 

They restrained Blair once again and awaited the blood results. When Doctor Mason walked in he looked very serious. 

“News?” Jim asked. 

“It was Prozac. I know that makes no sense so I brought this for you to read. It talks about the adverse effects.”

Jim sat down to read, “"Nervous System - frequent: abnormal dreams and agitation; - infrequent: abnormal gait, acute brain syndrome, akathisia, amnesia, apathy, ... delusions, depersonalization, euphoria, hallucinations, hostility, ... manic reaction, paranoid reaction, psychosis, and vertigo; rare: abnormal electroencephalogram, anti-social reaction, chronic brain syndrome.... hysteria..."

Jim looked up at the doctor and said, “He has a lot of these.”

“He sure does. We’ll have him here for a while. Try not to worry so much Jim.”

“He’ll get better right?”

“Yes, but it’s going to take time. Now go home and see your children. They need to know everything is all right.” Mason led Jim out to the hallway. “Go home, Jim.”

“For a short time.” Jim said as he got on the elevator.

“Night, Jim.” Mason smiled as Jim paced in the elevator. 

Jim drove home and was attacked by all of the kids. Even Tristan was thrilled to see him. Dan arrived right afterwards and Tristan couldn’t get to him soon enough. 

The two men sat side by side on the sofa with their six children.

“Are you tired Daddy? Cuz you could get naked and go to bed.” Jade suggested. 

“No, I want to sleep with Uncle Dan tonight. We’ll go to bed later.” Jim smiled at her. 

“Dang it, I missed taking a shower with you today.” Jade was stomping her foot now and Dan started to laugh. 

“Miss Jadey, do I need to put you to bed?” Linda asked sternly. 

“No ma’am. I’ll be good.” Jade sat on the floor pouting. 

Drake said, “You have to love her, she’s so darn cute.”  
Dan hugged Drake quickly and said, “So are you little man.”

Drake leaned in to Jim and started to cry. Dan asked, “What did I say?”

“It’s okay, Dan. Blair calls him little man. He just misses Blair.” Jim smiled over at Dan. 

“I’m going to put the twins down for the night and Tristan too.” He got them in bed and Jim got his three in bed. Everything was quiet. They sat on the sofa and just watched the news with no sound.

Linda walked in and said, “Jim, I’m going home but you know where I am if you need me.”

Jim got up and walked her home. He kissed her on the cheek and told her how much he loved her as she walked in her door. _We’re so damn lucky to have her._

When he got back to the house Dan was already in his bed. Jim called the hospital to check on Sam and Blair and then got ready and slipped into the bed beside his friend. They both needed the comfort.

Dan moved over to Jim right away and Jim could tell he was going to start crying soon. So Jim kissed the top of his head and brushed his hair back letting him know he was there. Dan began sobbing as he moved closer and closer to Jim. Jim hugged him harder and began to kiss his cheeks and his neck. Before long Dan found himself with an erection. 

“It’s all right, Dan. It’s the closeness. Just relax. We’re going to hold each other all night long.” Jim thought that might help. 

It did. Dan’s erection went right down and he moved even in even closer. Before long both men were sleeping soundly. 

The following day, Linda came over and took over with the kids. Jim and Dan took off for the hospital. 

When they arrived at the hospital, it was only 5:00 a.m. Sam was sleeping, with Simon by her side, sound to sleep. Dan looked through the glass and said, “Is that the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Too bad we can’t get it on camera, because it won’t happen too often.” Jim smiled at his loving friend. 

Both men walked in to see Sam. Simon woke up and smiled at both of them. “She had a really good night and early morning.”

“Thank god.” Dan said as he kissed his wife’s cheek.  
She opened her eyes and smiled at him. “Danny, are the babies all right?”

“They’re dandy, Sammy. Linda is watching them during the day and Jim and I are watching them at night. It’s going to work out just fine.”

Jim kissed Sam and said, “I have to go and check on Blair.”

“Kiss him for us, Jim.” Sam ordered. 

“Will do.” Jim almost ran from the room. He needed to see his better half.

When he arrived upstairs he went into the room, but Blair wasn’t there. Jim was trying not to panic and a nurse walked in and said, “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Blair Sandburg. He was here yesterday.”

“Oh I’m so sorry. He passed away last night. I’m so sorry. Can I call someone for you?” Fucking Nurse Death said calmly. 

Stoic James Ellison had his walls up and said, “No thank you.” He left the room without anything else being said.

Jim went to the elevator and got on. He had no idea where to go. But he knew he couldn’t go home yet. Not ever. His walls were crumbling and he knew he was going to lose it soon. He pushed the sixth floor and went to be with his friends.

Sully was in the room when Jim walked through. Dan and Simon were missing. Sam and Sully looked at him and both started to cry. Sully grabbed Jim and pulled him into her. Simon and Dan walked in and couldn’t figure out what was going on.

“Jim, what happened?” Simon asked softly. 

Jim moved away from Sully and into Simon’s arms and began to sob. “The nurse said he passed away during the night. No one called me Simon. God, what am I going to do without him?”

Before long they were all crying and Doctor Mason, on call for Dr. Welsh, walked in and stared at the crying friends. “Excuse me, is something going on that I need to be aware of?”

Jim glared at him and said, “You should have called me last night when he died. God, I wanted to be here. You sent me home.”

“Jim, what are you talking about?” Mason was very confused.

“Why didn’t you call us last night when he died?”

“When who died?”

“Blair.”

“Blair improved so much that we were able to move him to medical floor. He’s still there, Jim. Do you think I wouldn’t tell you if he died?”

“God, I’m so sorry. I was so angry with you. What room?” Jim couldn’t wait to get out of there.

“Right down the hall. That’s medical floor. Room 302. Why don’t you all go while Sam does her therapy?”

“Good idea, Dan.” Simon said pulling him towards the door.

“I’ll be back soon, baby.” Dan said sadly.

“Come and give me a proper kiss, Danny.”

Dan did just that, and then he joined his friends to find Blair.

Jim was going faster and faster as he got closer to his Guide. Then he broke into a full out run. Everyone else stayed back so Jim would have a few minutes with him. 

Jim opened the door and Blair smiled at him. He was sitting up and looked really good. Jim rushed to the bed hugged him gently and began to cry. “Promise me you won’t ever leave me. Promise.”

Blair didn’t know what was going on, but he knew Jim was very upset. “I promise.”

That worked Jim moved back and Blair saw the red-rimmed eyes staring at him. “Jim, what in the hell is going on? Why were you crying?”

Jim filled him in on what happened and Blair was pissed. He wanted to find this Nurse Death as Jim referred to, and kill her.

Simon, Dan and Sully came walking in followed by Joel, Megan, Rafe and Brown. Everyone was here for support.   
Dan told everyone about Sam and how well she was doing. It would be three weeks, but she would come home healthy.

Then Blair said how well he was doing. “Jim, you get to take me home tonight. Do you want to?”

“What do you think?” Jim kissed him with both longing and sadness. 

So it looked like everything would work out. Jim would have to go before IA for the shoot, but other than that, all looked well. 

Jim, Blair, Megan, Joel, Simon, Sully, Dan, Sam, Rafe and Brown all knew one thing for sure. You can never have too many friends. And the really great ones are your family.

This writer is having some tough things going on in her life right now, so it comes out in the stories from time to time. Sorry about that. Hopefully the next two or three will be fun and happy. 

Thank you for continuing to read and be interested in Sullivan’s Pub. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 71

 

 

.


	72. In Honor of Stupid People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning labels that are just too stupid for words.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 72  
In Honor of Stupid People  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor

Date: October 13, 2003   
Status: new  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this. 

More notes: Fun tonight. These were sent to me from Margaret, aka… Mereridkat@aol.com   
   
Warning: m/m bad language. No beta. 

Summary: Warning labels that are just too stupid for words. They form words anyhow. 

***********************************************************  
 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 72  
In Honor of Stupid People  
Patt

Sent in by Margaret

Connor and Joel walked into Sullivan’s and everyone yelled hello. 

“I hope you have a fun one, we all need it.” Sully said sadly. All were still hurting over Sam’s pain. 

Sam and Dan walked through the doorway and everyone was up and hugging her. Sully found it so sweet that her husband was holding on to her for dear life. And then he moved on to Dan. Yes, Sully knew she had married a very good man. 

“Anyone ready to start?” Connor teased. 

“I am.” Blair said quickly as he took his seat. 

“We all are, Connor. Hop to it.” Simon ordered. 

“Tonight we’ll be discussing labels and instructions on consumer goods.”

 

In Honor of Stupid People  
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. 

 

Connor: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. 

Jim: Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair. 

Blair: Well I once fell asleep while doing my hair, does that count?

Simon: For Christ’s sake, you’re kidding right?

Blair: Yes, I’m kidding, you grouch. 

Sully: I can’t believe they put that on there. 

Sam: What’s really scary is someone had to have done this before it forced Sears into putting the label. 

Dan: I once had a client that died from this. 

Connor: Oh god, really? 

Dan: No, not really. I just love to see those looks of horror on your face, Megan. 

Joel: That was mean, Dan. You had my heart pumping way too hard. 

Rafe: I think this one’s stupid. 

Brown: Only because you burned yourself while blowing drying in bed. 

Jim: (Laughing) Did he?

Brown: Yes, he was using it as a type of sexual device. 

Simon: Oh I don’t want to hear any more. 

Rafe: Neither do I.

Blair: That’s cuz you know we believe him. 

Simon: Could we move this along?

 

Connor: On a! bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. 

Blair: The shoplifter special? 

Jim: (Falling out of his chair.) Good one, Chief.

Joel: Very good one. This is beyond stupid. 

Rafe: I agree. This one’s dumb too. 

Brown: Only because he stole a bag of fritos at the store last night. You thought it was funny then, hot stuff. 

Simon: Please tell me you’re joking. 

Brown: (Sarcastically) Sure, I’m kidding. 

Sully: I think he really did it. 

Sam: Shame on you Brian Rafe. (Giggling.)

Dan: The next time you do it, can I go along for the thrill?

Rafe: By all means Dan. We’ll do it tomorrow. 

Jim: You are all so full of shit. Don’t forget who the Sentinel is in this room. 

Blair: Remind us. 

Jim leaned in for a soft kiss on his lover’s lips. 

Simon: Oh god, get it moving now.

 

Connor: On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." 

Blair: Duh. Could anyone please remind me how you use soap? 

Jim: I could show you tonight, Chief.

Simon: I knew it was going to happen. 

Sully: What honey? You don’t want to show me how the soap works when we get home?

Simon: Hell yes I do. 

Sam: That’s what I like to see. You have to love man that gives in to soap easily. 

Dan: Honey, I’ve forgotten how to use soap too. Could you show me once again? 

Rafe: Henri, I’m going to show you everything on your body that you can clean with Dial. 

Brown: Oh goody. 

Joel: Meggie already showed me more than once, but I’m a slow learner. Maybe we’ll go over it again tonight. 

Simon: I think it’s safe to move on. 

 

Connor: On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." 

Jim: But it says it's "just" a suggestion. 

Blair: (Snickering) I enjoy them cold and hard. 

Rafe: No, you’re thinking of Jim. 

Blair: No way. He’s hot and hard. So shut up, Rafe. 

Brown: I don’t want to admit this, but we didn’t know you were supposed to heat them up. We always let them thaw on the counter and eat them like that. 

Sully: (Falling out of her chair.) Your Mama would smack you up side the head if she just heard you say that. 

Rafe: (Smacks Brown up side the head.) There you go, just like your Mama being here. 

Brown: Remember how I said we’d do the dial thing tonight. Instead, it’s never. (Glaring.)

Joel: Boys, don’t fight. We hate fights. We’ve never had Swanson Dinners. 

Simon: I’ve never had one since I’ve been with Sully. 

Dan: Sully, you cook a lot?

Sully: I go pick up take out. 

Sam: (Laughing.) You cook. Stop it. Dan and I don’t do the frozen things at all. 

Jim: But the question is would you have to read the instructions?

Simon: Yes. 

Joel: No. 

Brown: Yes.

Rafe: No.

Blair: Yes. 

Connor: No. 

Simon: Could we go to the next one? 

 

Connor: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." 

Blair: Well...duh, a bit late, huh! 

Jim: This one is past stupid. 

Simon: I agree. 

Sully: I wouldn’t buy it just because they’re stupid. 

Sam: I feel in total agreement. 

Dan: I’ve never even heard of this dessert. 

Sully: It’s because you never got to eat it, once you turn it upside down. 

Simon: Smart ass. 

Joel: But she’s a lovely smart ass. 

Simon: You trying to make a play for my woman?

Joel: I have more than enough woman to take care of. 

Connor: You better. 

Rafe: I had this dessert once and it doesn’t matter if you turn it upside down or not. That’s just a joke. 

Brown: That’s what they told you. But God only knows what it’s really supposed to taste like. And where did you have this dessert? 

Rafe: I don’t remember. 

Brown: Fuck you. 

Simon: Now would be a good time to move it along. 

 

Connor: On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." 

Blair: ...and you thought????... 

Jim: Oh Blair, there’s something wrong with the oven. This Bread Pudding is hot. 

Joel: (Laughing.) I can see me saying that. 

Connor: Honey Bear, you have said that. 

Joel: I knew it sounded familiar. (Laughing again)

Dan: I love Bread Pudding. 

Sam: I’ll make you some tonight, but remind me that it might be hot when it comes out of the oven. 

Sully: (Laughing) You two are so cute.

Simon: What has that got to do with Bread Pudding?

Sully: Nothing, I just love them and wanted to say that. 

Brown: I make Bread Pudding a lot for the kids. But no one had to tell me it would be hot. I figured it out by myself. 

Rafe: I love your Bread Pudding.

Brown: Fuck you. Until you tell me who gave you that frozen dessert, I’m not going to speak to you. 

Simon: Wow, would you look at the time, Connor? 

 

Connor: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." 

Blair: But wouldn't this save me more time? I iron Jim’s clothes on him all the time. He likes it. 

Jim: You do not and I don’t either. 

Rafe: Henri irons mine on me all the time. (Smiling.)

Brown: I’ll tell you what I’m going to do with that fucking iron is throw it at your head.

Simon: Boys, let’s calm down. Sully never tries to iron me. 

Sully: No, if I want to iron him, I get the golf clubs. 

Simon: Very funny. (Kisses his wife.)

Dan: This one makes no sense to me. Would anyone really let someone iron clothing on them? 

Sam: Honey, we lead a very sheltered life. We’re probably of the few that don’t do it. 

Joel: Meggie, we don’t iron do we? 

Connor: Hell no. No self respecting Australian would be caught dead using an ironing board. So for this reason, I ask Joel to wear it while I iron. 

Everyone bursts out laughing.

Simon: Connor, it’s time to move on. 

 

Connor: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." 

Joel: We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts. 

Blair: (Falls out of chair.) Good one, Joel. 

Jim: And boy is that true. 

Rafe: Stop giving me the dirty looks, Henri. I had the dessert down in records. 

Brown: When and who gave it to you?

Rafe: Last week and it was that Wilma chic.

Brown: You wanna go and live with that Wilma Chic? Because if I even see you talk to her again, I’m kicking your ass out.

Rafe: I got it, Henri. I’m sorry. 

Dan: Henri, you did a great job handling that. 

Sam: He sure did. 

Simon: What the fuck has this got to do with children driving while on cold medication? 

Sully: Not a thing honey. We’re talking and answering. 

Simon: Okay, time to move it along, Missy. 

 

Connor: On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." 

Rafe: And I'm taking this because???....

Brown: Honestly, has anyone ever read the warning? 

Jim: I never have. 

Blair: Jim, you never take that stuff. 

Jim: But I don’t even read warnings for Tylenol. 

Simon: We probably should. 

Sully: Then we could make up our own idiot list. 

Joel: Oh I like the idea of an idiot list. 

Dan: I could be in charge. 

Sam: (Laughing) Danny, knock it off. We’re all too sane to be idiots. 

Rafe: We are?

Sully: What he said. 

Dan: I think we’re all too smart too. 

Blair: Well, did I tell you this morning what Jim in the bathroom?

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Blair: Don’t you call me Sandburg. 

Sully: Tell us, Blair. 

Jim: Chief, please?

Blair: He wanted to soak in the tub, because I rode him hard and put him away wet. So while he soaked in the tub, he said, ‘Can you imagine how anyone ever got their big toe stuck in the tub faucet?’ And just like that he stuck his toe in there and it took me almost an hour to get it out.

Laughter broke out and Jim laid his head down on the table. He was so damn grateful that Blair didn’t tell them what really happened. 

Simon: Okay, we’ve embarrassed Jim enough. Our jobs are done. 

 

Connor: On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." 

Dan: As opposed to...what? 

Sam: That is just so funny…

Joel: I have it. It could be warning us not to stick them up our asses. 

Connor: Joel, I can’t believe you said that. 

Blair: That’s right, Joel. I totally agree. It should say, for indoor, outdoor and internal use only.

Jim: Another thing about Xmas that you’ve ruined. 

Blair: How about we all tell our most embarrassing thing having to do with Christmas Lights. 

Jim: No. 

Rafe: Oh this is going to be good. 

Brown: Wait; it has to be embarrassing for Sandburg, not Ellison. 

Dan: Just tell us, Blair. 

Sam: Yeah, what he said. 

Jim: Sandburg, I swear to god, I’ll walk out of here. 

Blair: Okay and I’ll motion for you when it’s safe to come back in. 

Simon: (Falls on the floor.) Sandburg, you’re going to get it. 

Blair: I sure hope so. 

Connor: Just tell us. Jim just shut up. 

Blair: Last Christmas Eve I took a small set of light in to our room, locked the door and made Jim undress. I wanted to have a human blinking love machine in front of me. He looked so damn cute, blinking and blinking and then I got harder and harder and had to get inside quick. I loosened him up and started to slide in and the stupid lights decided that they wanted to go in too, so they did. Can I say how loud he howled that night? I think he liked it. He says he didn’t but I can’t get it out of my fucking head. 

Everyone is laughing and trying to stay upright in their seats. 

Rafe: That was good, Sandburg. 

Brown: Jim, I feel your pain. Well, no I don’t feel it unless you let us use the lights. 

Everyone laughed more. 

Simon: Okay, we’re moving on. 

 

Connor: On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." 

Rafe: Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious. 

Brown: Stupid. 

Blair: I totally agree, H. 

Sully: This one is really dumb. 

Simon: Could we just move it along then?

Sam: It’s okay by us. 

Joel: Okay by me. Jim?

Jim: I’m fine.

 

Connor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." 

Simon: Talk about a news flash

Sully: All this time, we didn’t know. 

Sam: I know. 

Dan: I’m not certain there really is any nuts in there. 

Simon: (Laughing.) I’m with Dan. 

Joel: This ones kind of dumb too. 

Rafe: And you think the iron on the person one wasn’t?

Brown: Be good. 

Blair: I want to apologize to everyone but especially Jim. I’m sorry man.

Jim: It’s not a biggy. 

Blair: Don’t put yourself down. It’s a major biggy. 

Jim: (Standing up.) Shut Up!

Simon: Jim sit down. 

Jim: I need some air.

Sully: Honey, we love you. We love his stories. Stay with us. 

Jim: I’ll be back. 

Blair: (Whispering, Sentinel soft.) Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.

Jim walked back into the room and pulled Blair into his arms and they just stayed that way for a while. 

Blair: I’m so sorry Jim. 

Jim: It’s okay. 

Simon: Can we finish this and then you can go home and put those blinking lights all over Sandburg’s ass. 

Jim: Sounds good to me. 

 

Connor: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." 

Sully: Step 3: maybe, ugh...fly Delta? 

Simon: Good one, babe. 

Sam: How stupid would you have to be to know that you have to actually open the nuts to be able to eat them? 

Dan: I’m afraid there are many dumb people out there. 

Rafe: I’m glad we’re here. 

Brown: Babe, I don’t know how to tell you this, but sometimes we’re dumb. 

Joel: Don’t feel lonely. 

Jim: We’re in that dumb group also. 

Blair: And we’re happy there. 

Simon: We could move now. 

 

Connor: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." 

Sam: I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one. 

Dan: I think I blame both, honey. 

Sully: Again, we have to think about why they had to warn. Did someone’s child die? 

Simon: I hope not. 

Joel: I blame the parents too. 

Rafe: I had to tell Henri when he got his, so I think it’s up to the parents. 

Brown: Very funny. 

Jim: I think that children see things on television and think that it’s as easy as it looks. Sometimes it’s not all on the parent’s shoulders. Yes, I jumped off the garage and broke my leg when I was seven. 

Blair: That’s scary. 

Jim: Why do you think I’m so paranoid about the kids? 

Simon: Well, looky here. We get to move on. 

 

Connor: On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." 

Blair: Oh my God ...was there a lot of this happening somewhere? 

Jim: I’m just grateful that it wasn’t happening at our house. 

Blair: No lie. 

Joel: (Laughing.) This is a riot. 

Simon: Can we say king of the idiots?

Sully: Yes I can. And I agree. 

Sam: This is kind of funny. 

Dan: Not if you had nuts. 

Rafe: Oh, are we talking about the peanuts again? 

Dan: Very funny, Rafe. 

Brown: I think this is scary too. Lets all cover our jewels and give them a little rub. 

Dan: Rub someone else’s or our own?

Rafe: (Falls out of chair.) I think he meant our own. 

Jim: Well I have to go home now, because all of the rubbing made me hard. Come on Chief. 

Blair: Hot damn. See you all tomorrow. 

They all said goodnight and left for the evening. 

Megan looked at Joel and said, “Sam looks good doesn’t she?”

“Yes she sure does. And she’s almost back to being her old self.” Joel smiled at his wife. 

They both knew it would take awhile, but things were sure looking up. And everyone loved Sullivan’s Pub’s Meetings. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 72


	73. More Funnies From Margaret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some dumb sayings that the guys all found amusing.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 73  
More Funnies From Margaret  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor

Date: October 30, 2003   
Status: new  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this. 

   
More notes: Mostly fun tonight. These were sent to me from Margaret, aka… Mereridkat@aol.com   
   
Warning: m/m bad language. No beta. Angst towards the end, but it will be fine in the next part. 

Summary: Some dumb sayings that the guys all found amusing. 

***********************************************************

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 73  
More Funnies From Margaret  
Patt

Connor: All right. Sit down and be quiet or we’ll never get started. 

Joel: Something good tonight, Meggie?

Connor: When we get home. (Leans in for a kiss.)

Brown: Well we now have a new record. We haven’t even started the survey and Connor’s offering sex to Joel.

Rafe: (Laughing.) I’m jealous. 

Brown: You want sex with Connor? 

Rafe: No, I want sex soon with you.

Brown: I’ll pencil you in. (Giggling)

Simon: All right, can we get started?

 

More funnies from my friend Margaret.  
Connor: 1. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.  If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

 

Joel: This is so true. I think this every time I go to work out. 

Sully: Well I now fit back in my before pregnancy things, so I’m happy. But before, I was ready to shove that loose fit clothing down someone’s throat. 

Simon: I am here to tell you, she’s serious. 

Sam: We’re like that when we’re over weight. 

Dan: Does it bother you that my loose fit clothing isn’t too loose.

Sam: I’d rather have you naked. 

Jim: I wear loose fitted work out clothes all the time. And I enjoy being able to move in them. 

Blair: Well not all of us lose as quickly as you. 

Jim: Not true. Babe, I have to lift a lot of weights to lose the cheesecake from the night before. And if you make me Lasagna for dinner, I have to run about five miles. So I don’t want to hear about how easy it is for me.

Connor: Jim, I totally understand. I can’t stand to have weight on me, unless it’s Joel. 

Joel: I’d be mad except I’m too busy trying not to get hard. 

Jim: (Laughing) They have a way of doing that to us. I’m hard now thinking about cheesecake. 

Rafe: Damn, what kind of cheesecake do you make him? I need the recipe. Henri has never gotten hard over a meal or dessert.

Brown: That you know of. (Howls with laughter)

Simon: You know, this might be a great spot to move on. 

 

Connor: 2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

 

Joel: Jesus, I’m going to be so depressed by the end of the night. This fits me. 

Connor: It does not. 

Joel: Honey, you’re my wife, you have to say that. 

Connor: Stand up. (Connor pulls Joel’s shirt open and then start undoing his belt and pants.)

Simon: Connor, what are you doing? 

Connor: I want some other opinions.

Simon: We have to look at Joel naked? 

Joel: Meggie they don’t want to. 

Jim: I will. I’ll check your bod out.

Blair: I will too. Strip, baby, strip. 

Dan: I’ll stay and give an opinion. 

Sam: Same here. 

Sully: I will also, Joel.

Rafe: Well I’m not going to wait outside with Simon, so I’ll stay too. 

Brown: (Laughing) I’m looking forward to it. 

Connor: Now once he’s naked, I want you to give us helpful hints. If you think he needs to lose somewhere, then tell us.

Simon: Fine, I’ll stay. Jesus you’re all so weird. 

Megan shut the blinds to the front windows and then shut and locked the door. Joel stripped and stood there anxiously waiting for someone to say something. 

Jim got up and ran his hand across his ass, back and his belly. “I think you don’t need much work at all, Joel. You have a very nice body. Do one or two miles on your treadmill every day and you’ll be in tip top shape.”

Blair walked over and did the same thing and everyone was noticing that Joel was hard as a rock. “Joel, you have a wonderful chest. It’s hard and soft at the same time. I love rubbing it. I agree with what Jim said. It won’t take much at all. And stop worrying. Megan tells me you’re great in bed.” Blair leaned in for a quick hug and Joel said, “I’m so embarrassed.”

Simon walked up and said, “Jesus, who the hell cares what your body looks like? Look at that fucking dick. Whoa.” Everyone laughed when Joel moaned. “You look great Joel. Stop worrying.” Simon walked off and made room for Rafe. 

Connor walked over and said, “I think my husband has been stimulated enough. Let’s get dressed honey.”

Joel dressed in record time. Smiling the entire time. 

Simon: Are we going to like have a survey?

Connor: Coming right up, smartass.

 

Connor: 3. The early bird still has to eat worms.

 

Blair: I love eating worms in the morning. Hell, I love eating Jim’s at night. 

Jim: Thanks. (Leans in for a nice kiss.)

Rafe: I agree with Blair. 

Brown: You like eating Jim’s worms?

Rafe: No! I like eating yours. 

Brown: Well that’s not what Sandburg said. 

Rafe: I give up. 

Joel: It’s about time. Actually, are we talking penis’s or are we talking, even the bird has to eat? I know I have to eat. But I like to snack on Meggie as many times as I can. 

Simon: When did this turn into a sex romp? 

Sully: I wish. 

Simon: You’re so going to get it. 

Sully: Promise?

Simon: Promise. (Pulls her in for a fast kiss.)

Dan: Are we invited? 

Simon: To what? 

Sam: To watch. 

Simon: For god’s sake, am I going to have to get a hose out? 

Sam: We like watching you too. You’re so friggin sensual. We’d like to see an evening with Simon and Sully, either in person or on a tape. 

Dan: We like to watch all of our friends. 

Jim: We’ve got a tape that Blair wanted to give to anyone that wanted to see it. But I was afraid. 

Sully: Hand it over and we’ll watch it now.

Jim: Shit. 

Blair: Babe, you were very sexy, so calm down. We’ll give more time to Jim to think on it.

Simon: We’re not watching it right now. We’ll watch it at the end of this thing. 

 

Connor: 4. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

Jim: If I burn something, we call for take-out.

Blair: We do. He does, I’ve never burned anything. 

Joel: Seriously?

Blair: I’m a great cook. 

Connor: Sandy, you are so full of shit. 

Blair: You don’t have to tell them that. 

Rafe: I burn things and ruin things all the time. I do the same thing as Ellison. 

Brown: We eat out a lot. 

Dan: We don’t ruin too many things. But we do like to order out sometimes. 

Sam: Here, here.

Sully: I never burn dinner. 

Simon: That’s because she never cooks. 

Sully: Not true. Remember the other night when I made that good potato soup? 

Simon: Sully, that was that canned stuff that you like so much. 

Sully: No wonder it was so easy. 

Sam: Sully, you’re a riot. 

Simon: We could move on. 

 

Connor: 5. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Blair: (Falls from his chair, hitting his butt on the floor.) Connor, I’m going to make you pay. 

Jim: That is funny. Sometimes I do feel like this. 

Blair: Like an idiot?

Jim: No. Like a bunch of people at work are idiots.

Rafe: You mean us?

Brown: I know he doesn’t mean me. 

Jim: I mean no one in this room. 

Simon: I didn’t think so. 

Jim: Except Simon. (Laughs really hard.)

Simon: Fuck you. 

Dan: Hey back to the survey, I feel like this all the time. Sometimes families come down about their loved ones and they’re complete idiots. (Sighs)

Sam: I think everyone can be an idiot from time to time. 

Sully: I agree with my sister. 

Simon: I’ve only worked with one idiot and he’s still in the bullpen. 

Jim: Fuck you, Simon. 

Simon: Better ask Sully first. 

Blair: Wow, are we having fun yet? 

Simon: No, so let’s get this thing moving. 

 

Connor: 6. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

 

Jim: First of all, I would be pressing ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ day and night. I screw up a lot. Just ask Blair. 

Blair: I would do the same thing. I would probably have a damn cramp in my hands from holding those keys down. 

Joel: (Laughing) Only Blair would think about getting cramps. I believe I would too, because I screw up a lot also. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: I wish we could do this. 

Rafe: About what?

Brown: 1. About that woman almost killing me. 2. About that woman. 3. About you wanting to think about women. That’s the sort of thing I mean. 

Rafe: You’re still mad about that woman?

Brown: What do you think, Bri? 

Rafe: I thought we were past that.

Brown: Well, let me try out women again, have one of them try to kill you and then I’ll see how I feel about it. 

Rafe: (Teary Eyed) I’m sorry. I won’t talk about it anymore tonight. 

Dan: I think you boys should talk. 

Sam: I agree. 

Simon: Why should they talk? 

Sully: Because right now Brian is upset and thinks he doesn’t belong with Henri. What happens if they don’t talk about it?

Rafe: Okay, Henri, I’m sorry. You know I’m sorry. I can’t take it back, and I wish I could. I love you more than you could ever imagine. But I can’t take it back. 

Rafe got up and walked out of the room. 

Jim: Henri, go get him. He loves you. You love him right? 

Brown: Yes. 

Jim: Go get him. That took a lot for Rafe to say to you in front of us. He’s not very mushy. 

Blair: I agree. Go and get him. 

Henry got up and walked into the restroom. The two men went into each other’s arms and kissed long and hard. Then they walked hand in hand out of the room and back into the Sullivan Room. 

Rafe: Sorry everyone. 

Brown: Connor, get this ball rolling. 

Simon: Excuse me did I miss a memo that said that was your job? I don’t think so. 

Everyone started laughing. 

 

Connor: 7. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

 

Blair: Doesn’t everyone do this? 

Joel: You’re such a nut, Blair. 

Jim: That he is. But he’s my nut. 

Simon: All right, stop with the sex jokes.

Jim: What sex jokes? 

Simon: You were talking about his nuts, Ellison. 

Jim: Who’s nuts? 

Simon: Sandburg’s? 

Jim: Simon, why would I be telling you about Blair’s nuts? 

Simon: Oh I give up. 

Rafe: Now that sounds like a sex joke. 

Simon: What?

Brown: Telling us you give up. 

Simon: Shut up, all of you. (Laughing so hard he can hardly breathe.)

Dan: What the hell is this one about? 

Sam: I think you should tell them something sexy about me. 

Dan: Okay. I can do that. Sam comes very easily, so sometimes while I’m eating her she comes three or four times. I love that tightening feeling around my tongue. 

Everyone just sat there with their mouths hanging open. 

Sam: Danny, I meant something like she’s got the nicest breasts I’ve ever touched. 

Dan: Oh sorry. 

Sully: (Howling with laughter.) Dan, you are too much. I think that’s so wonderful that you said that. 

Simon: Well I don’t. Connor lets get this moving along. 

 

Connor: 8. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

Jim: This is true. I do this to Blair. 

Blair: He does. He ignores what I say. 

Jim: Not all the time. 

Blair: No, not all the time. 

Joel: Megan always listens to me. She’s a fantastic wife. 

Blair: And Jim isn’t? 

Joel: Oh that’s not what I meant. 

Jim: He’s kidding Joel. 

Connor: I do listen to Joel. I want him to know he’s important to me. 

Rafe: I don’t listen to H as well as I should. 

Brown: You don’t. But you’re going to start. 

Dan: I always listen to Sam. 

Sam: He does. He’s such a good boy. 

Jim: Do you listen to him, Sam?

Sam: Not as much as I should. I’ll try harder, babe. 

Sam: Sounds good to me. 

Sully: I always listen to Simon, but he rarely listens to me. 

Simon: Connor, how long is this damn thing? 

Sully: Do you see what I mean? 

Sully walked out of the room and everyone was glaring at Simon. 

Simon: What? What did I do?

Jim: She said that you rarely listen to her and you just totally ignored her and asked Connor how long this survey was. You’re an asshole. 

Simon: Oh fuck you. 

Joel: Simon, get your ass into the restroom and make her feel better. 

Simon: God, I hate the way you all push me around. 

Simon walked out of the room and went to Sully’s office. She was sitting on the sofa crying softly. He sat down next to her and took her into his arms. “I’m sorry baby. I know I’m a jerk. But I’m a jerk in love. You’re beautiful and I love you more than anything. I would do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

“Yes, anything.” Simon kissed her some more and she started to get up. 

Sully was getting some things out of her desk drawers. She was smiling the entire time. 

“What are you doing? Simon asked. 

”This is a camera for the computer. I’m going to take pictures of you in the nude. You said you would do anything for me.”

“Sully, you can see me in the nude anytime. I really don’t want pictures floating around that my co-workers can get their hands on.”

“Fine, I knew you wouldn’t do it.” She tossed the camera and started for the door. 

“What do you want?” Simon whispered. 

“All your clothes off and you’re going to touch yourself until you come.”

Simon took all of his clothing off and lay back on the sofa. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. As he touched himself, he found himself forgetting all about the camera. He began to fist his cock and rolled his balls in between his fingers. By this time he was moaning. It didn’t take him too long and he shot his wad all over his body. 

“Simon stay there all right. I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“I thought I’d ask Jim to come in here and make love to me.” Sully watched Simon’s face. 

“He won’t do it, Sully. He’s very loyal.” Simon knew she was trying to make him jealous. It was working. 

“I want someone to fuck me.”

“Come here baby.” Simon pulled her down on his lap and she felt his hard cock. 

“Already?”

“You make me hot baby. I love you so much.” Simon sat her on his cock and began to fuck her senseless. 

\--Later in the Sullivan Room—

“Where are they?” Sam asked. 

“They’re fooling around.” Jim said. 

“Well, if it isn’t the lost campers.” Joel laughed. 

“Could we just get this on the road again?” Simon growled. 

 

Connor: 9. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Jim: (Falls on floor.) Connor, I will get you for this. My back is bad. Remember? 

Blair: God, Megan, you’re a hoot. 

Joel: (Laughing loud.) Meggie, you are great at this. 

Connor: I didn’t do anything. Margaret gave these to me. I just typed them. 

Sully: You’re too kind. You work hard looking for these things. 

Simon: They are fun, usually. 

Dan: I love them too, Megan. 

Sam: I know that every week, we’ll all laugh our Asses off and enjoy ourselves. I also know that someone will cry, someone will fight and all will be fine at the end of the night. 

Rafe: I agree with Sam. Look at us tonight. But I feel like Henri will let me stay with him. 

Rafe lowered his head and they could all tell he was crying. 

Brown: Babe? Listen to me. I love you so much. I was angry earlier and I shouldn’t have said those crappy things. I want you to be with me forever. I love you so much. 

Rafe went into Brown’s arms and they began to kiss. 

Sam: This is what I love. Not to mention we get to watch friend porno in a few minutes. 

Jim: I think I’ve changed my mind. 

Connor: Do you bring it every week? (Laughing)

Blair: Yes, he’s been trying to get up the nerve. 

Dan: Tonight’s the night. I’m ready. 

Sam: I am too. 

Simon: I think we should wait. 

Sully: Simon could I talk to you?

They walked over to the door and Sully said, “I’m going to show them the movie of you in the office. I want to share that.”

“No way. Sully, I swear, I’ll leave you. Do you understand?”

“Simon, I’ve told them how beautiful you are and how nicely endowed you are. I wanted them to see.” She noticed batting her eyes wasn’t helping. 

“No.”

Simon walked back over to the table and sat down angrily. 

Simon: Are we doing this thing or what?

 

Connor: 10. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Blair: Well this ones easy. It’s because the prisons were under-populated and needed more nice young men and women. Then they showed them the way of the Lord. 

Jim: (Falling out of his chair, hitting his head on Blair’s chair.) I’m going to get you for that, Sandburg. 

Joel: He is funny, isn’t he?

Sully: I think that Religion has no place in school. There are too many religions in one class. Who would choose the proper one? Let’s say I’m Catholic, which I am, and Simon is Baptist, which he is and we’re in the same classroom. I would have been pissed if they made me listen to Baptist garbage. And he would have been pissed listening to Catholic garbage. Am I right honey? 

Simon: Couldn’t agree with you more, baby. 

Sully: Sucking up now will get you nowhere.

Simon: Fuck---

Dan: What’s going on, if I could ask? 

Simon: No one’s business. 

Sam: You are such a grouch. What’s going in Sully? 

Sully: I took nude movie of Simon and he won’t let me show all of you.

Jim: (Howling) I can see him not wanting to share that, Sully. He’s our boss. 

Sully: Well you and Blair are going to share yours. Right? 

Jim: No, I decided against it while you were in the other room. I don’t think it belongs here. 

Sully: Simon, see what you did? 

Simon: Brought them to their senses?

Joel: I think we should maybe move this along. 

Simon: Again, did a memo come out saying you were in charge of this duty? 

Everyone burst out laughing. 

 

Connor: 11. If raising children were going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

 

Jim: It’ll be easier for us, since we didn’t actually give birth. 

Blair: The scary thing is, he believes this. 

Connor: Jim, it doesn’t matter about Labor pains. When you’re a parent, it’s hard no matter what. 

Jim: I know. I was just kidding. 

Blair: Sure he was. 

Dan: I think it makes no difference. 

Sam: You would have thought different if you had to give birth to them. 

Rafe: Oh Christ, now we’re going to find out we’re lesser people because we don’t have a fucking vagina. 

Brown: Tell the ladies you’re sorry, Bri. 

Rafe: No. It’s true. They think because they have a twat they’re special.

Brown: Bri, settle down. 

Simon: I’ll smack you up side the head if you ever talk to Sully like that again. 

Sam: It was me. 

Rafe: (Stands up) You think you’re special because you’re a woman? Well, you couldn’t have gotten pregnant without Dan. So you might want to think on that for a while. 

Dan: Enough! Sam shush and Brian Rafe, sit you ass down when you talk to my wife. 

Jim: Brian, what’s wrong?

Brown: He’s upset. 

Jim: Duh. Now tell us what’s wrong. 

Brown: (Tears rolling down his face) The mother of Remey decided she wants him back.

Sam: Oh god, Henri. Let me look the papers over and I’ll help you and Brian. 

Brown: Thank you. We thought about calling you, but hated to bother you on the weekend when we got the papers. 

Simon: So how long have you boys known? 

Rafe: Four days. Four fucking long days. 

Simon: Next time, you call your friends. We’re you’re friends, right? 

Rafe: Yes. 

Brown: We will Simon. Let’s get back to the Survey. 

Connor: Fuck the survey. There was only one left anyhow. 

Jim: But what if that one was the one to make Rafe and Henri smile all the way home?

Connor: Fine, you asked for it. I don’t think this is the one, Jim. 

12\. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Connor had pretzels being thrown at her right and left. She was laughing as she was dodging them. 

Jim: This is a true statement, eh? 

Blair: Speak for yourself. 

Joel: Yeah, speak for yourself. 

Sully: I’ve never had to watch my weight. Not!

Sam: Sam here. Not!

Dan: I never watch what I eat and the doctor said I’m under weight. Not!

Simon: I go to the same doctor as Dan. Do you think he’s lying, Dan? DUH!

Rafe: This isn’t the one, Connor. We’re going to lose our little boy. 

Brown started sobbing into Rafe’s chest. Jim got up and sat next to them and said, “Come here. I want to hold you.”

Both men leaned into Jim and cried their heart out. 

Sam: Guys, I want that paperwork as soon as possible. We’re going to be sure that you keep your son. He’s part of you. For god’s sake, he looks just like Brian.

Simon: I think we should all go home and rest and see what we can do to help Sam tomorrow. 

Everyone did just that. Blair drove the SUV home and Jim drove Rafe and Brown’s home. They cried the whole way home. Jim could hardly wait to get home, because this staying tough shit gets old really fast. 

Jim got them settled at their house and went in to see Remey. He was wide-awake so he picked him up and sat in the rocker to get him to sleep. Rafe and Brown glanced in the room and found Jim crying while rocking their son. 

Rafe picked the baby up and put him in his bed. Then they pulled Jim out into the living room and they all hugged for a long while. Finally Jim pulled away and made his way home. 

Blair saw the look of pain on Jim’s face and led him right into the bedroom. He knew it wouldn’t be a night of sex. No, it would instead be one of love. 

So that’s what Blair did. He showed Jim how much he loved him, by just holding him all night. It was just what Jim needed. 

The last thought in Jim’s mind before sleep took him, was ‘Please Sam. Help them.’

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 73


	74. Christmas With Sullivan’s Pub.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas plans for the boys. They think they would like to share with everyone.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 74  
Christmas With Sullivan’s Pub.  
Author/psuedonym: Patt  
Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Category: drama/humor

Date: October 30, 2003   
Status: new  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Petfly still owns these boys. But I own their bodies. And what fine bodies they are. So there, Petfly. I make no money from this.   
   
More notes: I wanted to do something sweet, so hopefully this will work out.   
   
Warning: m/m bad language. No beta. 

Summary: Christmas plans for the boys. They think they would like to share with everyone.   
 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 74  
Christmas With Sullivan’s Pub  
Patt

Jim and Blair drove into the Sullivan parking lot and made out for about ten minutes. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought this on, big man?” Blair asked. 

“We haven’t seen each other much, or been alone much. Between work, Christmas shopping and our friends we have little or no time at all.”

“You’re right. We’re going to have to fix that. I miss your kisses. Jim, you haven’t made love to me in two weeks. Is anything else wrong?”

“Blair, nothing is wrong. I love you. I’m just tired and feel like we’re being pulled apart. I’ll work on it.”

“Well, let’s get in there. Everyone’s at the window and you just know they’ll be worried that we’re fighting.” Blair laughed as they held hands into the building. 

Simon bellowed, “I told you everything was fine.”

Connor smiled and said, “Must be nice to know it all, eh?”

When the guys walked in, everyone yelled hello and they sat down for the Survey to start. 

Connor: Tonight it’s about Christmas. First up, Top Ten Least Beloved Holiday TV Specials. Do you think these sound true, feel true or are just stupid?

 

Connor: 10. "The Grinch Who Stole Grandpa's Heart Medication"

Joel: (Fell out of his chair laughing.) Okay, it’s stupid, but it’s funnier than hell. 

Jim: I agree, Joel. 

Blair: I’m thinking this is a good idea for a plot bunny.

Jim: Plot bunny?

Blair: Yeah. You know how I love to write fan fiction for The Watchman? Well, this is a plot bunny for a show.

Simon: Oh please. It’s stupid. 

Blair: Have you ever seen the show? It might pep things up a little. 

Sully: I would read it. 

Sam: So would I. 

Dan: I’m completely lost. But it’s funny anyway. 

Rafe: I like The Watchman. 

Brown: Oh really? None of us knew that. (Falls off ‘his’ chair laughing.)

Simon: I think it’s safe to move along. 

 

Connor: 9. "The World's Bloodiest Furby Riots"

Joel: Does anyone understand this? 

Jim: Not me. 

Rafe: Aren’t Furby’s those cute little toys? 

Brown: Then why would they be having riots?

Blair: All right. Let me explain. There was such a call for them one year that people were knocking down other people in the store to get their Furby. So that’s what they’re talking about. 

Brown: Gosh, they could have come to our house; Bri has like seven of them. 

Rafe: Shut up, H. 

Dan: I have four. I’m proud to be able to speak Furbish. (Falls on floor laughing his ass off.)

Sam: I have one and I never would have stepped on someone to get it. I sent my Mom instead. 

Sully: Mom asked me to go. Remember when I got the fucking black eye? Well that’s a Furby black eye. 

Sam: Oh! Sorry about that, Sully. (Giggling into Dan’s chest.)

Simon: Are you laughing at my woman?

Dan: I think she is, Simon. 

Simon: Rafe, can I buy one of those Furby’s for Sully? 

Rafe: I’ll think on it. (Whispering to Henri, “You have to open your big mouth, didn’t you?”)

Simon: All right, I see us easily moving on. 

 

Connor: 8. "It's An Even More Wonderful Life If You're Rich"

Blair: I believe that sometimes this can be true. I know I love being married to a rich man. 

Joel: And I love being friends with a rich man. 

Jim: Shut up. None of us are rich, rich. 

Blair: You sort of are. 

Jim: What?

Blair: Never mind. Anyone else think that this would make a good movie of the week? 

Rafe: I would love to be rich. I adore being comfortable, imagine what we would do if we were rich. 

Brown: I love being comfortable too. I’d watch this movie. 

Simon: I like the original. 

Sully: Everyone raise their hands that are not surprised about Simon liking things the old way. 

Everyone raised their hands. 

Dan: I agree with Simon on this one. I love that old movie. I think everyone in it is dead now. But I still love it. 

Sam: I do too. 

Simon: Why did you have to bring up the fact that they’re all dead? Was it to taunt me?

Dan: I like dead people. 

Everyone fell out of their chairs laughing like mad. 

Simon: Could we move this along?

 

Connor: 7. "For The Love Of God And Everything Holy, Change Your Shirt, Charlie Brown"

Jim: I say this to Blair all the time. 

Blair: Shut up. You do not. I have to bring spare shirts for Jim. He’s a mess. 

Jim: I am not. 

Joel: You are, Jim. 

Jim: I know I’m Jim. 

Joel: You are a mess, Jim. 

Jim: Joel, Blair just said that. Didn’t you hear him?

Everyone burst out laughing. 

Rafe: Good one, Ellison. I always have to have spare shirts at work. 

Brown: But ten? 

Rafe: There aren’t ten. Stop it. 

Jim: There might be. I saw him go through like six one day. 

Dan: I need to start taking in extras. I usually just wear scrubs home. 

Sam: But scrubs make me want to jump you. 

Dan: No spare clothing for me. 

Jim: Could you order us some scrubs, Dan? 

Blair: You want Sam to jump you? 

Jim: I want you to jump me, you nut. 

Simon: I don’t need a pair of scrubs; Sully jumps me all the time. 

Sully: He lies on the floor and I jump up and down on him until he begs me to stop. (Giggling.)

Simon: For god’s sake, can we move this along? 

 

Connor: 6. "Hanukkah With Monica"

Blair: This was on the other night. 

Joel: It was? I missed it. Was it good? 

Jim: Joel, he’s kidding. 

Joel: Shit. It sounded good to me. I would have watched it. 

Rafe: I would have also. 

Brown: I would have slipped over to Ellison’s and watched the game with him. 

Sully: Now Simon, what would you rather watch?

Simon: The game. 

Sully: You wouldn’t try something new with me for a night? 

Jim: I would, Sully. 

Simon: Shut up, Ellison. 

Jim: Wow, two Ellison’s in five minutes. 

Blair smacked him on the back of the head, and everyone laughed very hard. 

Jim: Hey Chief. That wasn’t nice. 

Blair: I never said I was nice. 

Rafe: You tell us all the time how nice you are in bed. 

Jim: (Shocked.) You tell them that? 

Blair: What do you think? (Then smacks Jim on the back of the head again.)

Brown: He’s funny, Ellison. 

Joel: That he is.

Sam: I would watch that dumb show. 

Dan: What show? 

Simon: Oh don’t even start this again. 

Sully: They can if they want to. 

Simon: This is a good place to move on. 

 

Connor: 5. "Emeril Lagasse Spit-Roasts Blitzen Live"

Joel: Could we move on? This one sucks. 

Simon: That’s my job, Joel. 

Joel: Get over it, Simon. 

Simon: Connor, could you please move this along?

Connor: Yes. Yes, I can. 

 

Connor: 4. "Ernest Borgnine's Mistletoe Kiss-A-Palooza"

Joel: I love Ernest. He’s so fucking funny. 

Conner: Honey bear, you never say fucking. 

Joel: Sorry everyone. 

Jim: I love that word. It makes my day. I could watch old Ernest and just want to fuck his brains out all night long. 

Blair: (Falls on floor laughing.) Ewwwwww.

Rafe: Jim, you need to get out more. Hairboy, aren’t you taking good care of him?

Blair: Yes. 

Brown: I don’t know, Hairboy. He was talking about fucking Ernest. 

Simon: Stop! We’re talking about a celebrity. I would watch this show. 

Sully: I’d watch Jim fuck this show. 

Sam: (Falls on floor.) Sully, you’re out to kill me aren’t you? 

Dan: I’d watch too. 

Simon: Move it or lose it, Connor. 

 

Connor: 3. "The House Of Representatives' Impeachment Proceeding And Holiday Hoe-Down"

Every single person there was now on the floor, laughing with tears rolling down their faces. 

Jim: Connor, this one is great. I love it. 

Blair: I agree. 

Connor: Thanks, guys. 

Joel: I have to say my honey bear is one of the funniest people I know. 

Connor: He just wants sex. 

Joel: Honey bear, Honey bear,  
Lick my cock.   
Honey bear, Honey bear,   
I’m hard as a rock.

Rafe: (Falling on the floor.) Joel, you are too fun. 

Brown: I want one from my baby. 

Rafe: You fuck me hard; you fuck me good.  
It’s my turn now, like I knew I should.

Brown: You’re getting lucky tonight, baby. 

Simon: First you lick, then you suck.   
Hold on tight and fuck, fuck, fuck. 

Sully: (Falling on the floor.) We need seat belts. Thank you, baby. 

Dan: As I enter you, I feel how warm you are.   
As I fuck you gently, in the front seat of the car. 

Sam: I loved that honey. (Giggling) 

You, my Daniel, have a mighty fine prick.   
I look forward each day to give it a lick.   
Sucking is next and you seem to love it a lot.  
I swallow you down and your come is what I got.

Dan: Whoa. That was hot, Sammy. 

Jim: Not to be outdone by the others. 

Sometimes, I love to be caught peeping.  
I love you when you’re sleeping.   
And when you are awake.   
I love the noises that you make.   
Fuck me baby. Fuck me now.   
I’ll make noises like I was a cow.   
Tonight, am I going to be lucky?   
I feel like a fucking lucky ducky. 

Blair: (Falls out of chair.) I love you babe and you are getting lucky tonight. Quack. 

Simon: Lord, could we move on now? 

 

Connor: 2. "Kenneth Starr Subpoenas Santa Claus" 

Jim: He’s such an idiot. He would probably do it. 

Blair: I think he did, we just don’t know about it. 

Simon: I don’t think so. 

Blair: Are you sure? 

Simon: No, but I can’t believe that he would know something we don’t. 

Blair: Good point. Thanks. 

Joel: I think this is dumb. 

Dan: So do I.

Sam: I think it’s a riot. And he would do that. 

Rafe: I think it’s boring. Our poems were better. 

Brown: Kiss me in the evening.  
And in the afternoon.   
How about the morning?  
Would three times be too soon?

Rafe: Not at all. I’ll show you three times. 

Simon: Oh god, let’s not start the poems again. 

Sully: I think it’s nice. 

Simon: Connor, we could leave this one now. 

 

Connor: 1. "Let's Biopsy Rudolph's Nose"

Blair: Gross. 

Jim: Disgusting. 

Joel: Mean. 

Rafe: Malicious. 

Brown: Insane. 

Dan: I could be on call to do it. Kidding. Just kidding. 

Sam: Cruel.

Simon: Nasty.

Sully: Horrible. 

Simon: We could move on. 

Top Ten Department Store Santa Pet Peeves  
From Dave Letterman.

Connor: 10. Kids who refuse to believe that's fruitcake on your breath, not gin

Jim: I have this same problem with Blair. 

Blair: He does. 

Jim: He keeps telling me to cut down on the fruitcake and I tell him we are. 

Blair: We are. 

Jim: And I keep telling him I love the gin over the fruitcake as I pour it over my head. And he tells me that’s not good for my hair. 

Blair: I do. 

Joel: You two are nuts. 

Jim: Wanna feel mine Blair?

Simon: Let’s move this along. 

Jim: Did you hear that, baby? He said it was long. 

Simon: I said along. Not it was long. How in the hell would I know? 

Jim: He said it was long. I heard it. Who can hear better than anyone else?

Blair: My Sentinel Man. 

Jim: I’ll wear my outfit tonight. 

Dan: What outfit? 

Jim: Naked except for a Kevlar vest. He loves the look and he wears nothing but a shoulder holster. 

Sam: I’m getting hot just hearing about it. 

Sully: I am too. Good lord, they have way too much fun. 

Simon: You want to see me naked with a Kevlar vest on?

Sully: We all would. 

Simon: No, just you. 

Blair: I want to see how you look. Please?

Simon: I’m going to have to hurt you soon. Connor, stop laughing and move this damn thing along. 

Rafe: Wait! We didn’t answer yet. I love rum. 

Brown: That’s not the damn question. 

Rafe: I love you too.

Brown: I love you, babe. 

Simon: Shut up both of you. Move it, Connor. 

 

Connor: 9. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it

Connor: I do believe we can move this right along. It’s gross. 

Simon: I second it. 

Rafe: I third it. 

Simon: Don’t even start that shit. 

 

Jim: Hey, did we give you the Christmas card?

Blair: (Hands them out, one by one.) Here you go. 

 

Connor: Oh these are so cute. Thank you. 

Joel: I swear, those kids are growing way too fast. Are those drawings of the girls?

Jim: Yes. Drake was sick, so couldn’t have his done. So we did the best we could. He’s still a little cutie patootie. 

Simon: They’re precious. Thank you. 

Sully: They certainly are. Now we have to get ours out, Simon. 

Sam: They’re just darling. 

Dan: I love it too. 

Rafe: I just saw Drake yesterday, and he looks like he’s grown. Tell him to stop it. 

Brown: (Laughing) I love it guys. Thanks. 

Simon: We could probably move along now. 

 

Connor: I just looked over the list and it’s too dumb to even talk about. So instead I’m going to say, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you and take my leave. Joel did you want to leave with me?

Joel: (Laughing) That would be good. Merry Christmas to all. 

Rafe: And to all a good night. 

Brown: Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bell ring and jingle bell cock. 

Everyone laughed. 

Jim: We wish you a Merry Christmas. We Wish You A Merry Christmas. We Wish You A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 

Blair: Jim, that was great. You sang that so well. Merry Christmas everyone. 

Dan: Sam, if I wrap my cock will you unwrap it and pretend it’s chocolate? 

Sam: (Laughing) Of course. Merry Christmas all. I have to go and eat my hubby now. 

Simon: I love all of you and hope you all have a wonderful holiday. 

Sully: He always gets mushy at this time of year. 

Everyone prepared to leave and hugs were all around. 

 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 74  
Merry Christmas to all.


	75. Thoughts to Ponder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts to Ponder Hee Hee!

Sullivan's Pub Part 75  
Thoughts to Ponder  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S  
   
Status: Complete  
Date: 01/20/04  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it.   
   
Author's Notes: Sue sent me the ammo and I was back in business again. Thank you, Sue.   
   
Story Notes: Back to fun. Sent to me by Sue. Aka, SusanDanette@aol.com Send thanks or hate mail to her.   
   
Summary: Thoughts to Ponder 

Warnings: m/m   
======================================================

   
Sullivan’s Pub Part 75  
Thoughts to Ponder  
Patt

Special thanks to Sue for the ammo. 

 

Connor began getting ready for another Sullivan’s Pub. She and Joel loved their friends and watching them laugh. 

“Hey, Joel. Hey, Megan.” Blair called out. 

“Megan?”

“I decided to practice calling you that. We don’t want to confuse Miss Ellie.” Blair explained. 

“That’s Princess Ellie, Chief.”

“Oh right. Sorry, Megan.” Blair walked over and kissed her on the cheek and hugged Joel. Jim did the very same thing. 

“Did you notice we’re here early?” Jim beamed with pride. 

“Sure did.” Joel answered. “I hope they’re all right.”

“Joel, they’re fine. They all wanted to let Jim and Sandy be first for a change.” Megan laughed. 

“Fuck you, Megan.” Blair said as he began to laugh. 

“Joel, does it bother you when we say that to her?” Jim asked. 

“Nope. She’s one of the guys. I like that.” Joel answered. 

“That’s right. Last night my name was Herb.”

All three men burst out laughing. Everyone else walked in the door right after that. 

After everyone greeted each other and chatted some, Megan pulled out a small gavel and began to pound it on the table. The guys began to laugh even more. 

“Are we ready?” She yelled. 

“Sure.” They answered. 

“I said, are we ready?” Megan shouted this time.

Everyone stood up and stomped their feet and screamed, “We’re ready.”

“Now that’s more like it. Here we go.”

 

Thoughts to Ponder

Connor: How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 

Jim: Good thought. I never even wondered. But you know that guy that got shot the other day from a sniper? Well, who’s to say he wasn’t assassinated? 

Simon: You check it out starting tomorrow. 

Jim: Well shit.

Blair: I think we should. This is a valid point. He might have been assassinated. 

Simon: Good, you’ll assist Jim. 

Blair: Well shit. 

Joel: I think that was said earlier. (Snickering.)

Simon: I think it can happen to anyone, but you’re right. We wouldn’t look closely if they weren’t an important person. 

Sully: Isn’t that sad? 

Sam: Yes, I think so too. 

Dan: Do you want me to start looking closer for assassinations?

Brown: Very funny, Dan. 

Dan: I was serious. This is making me think of four cases we’ve had in the last year. 

Joel: No, don’t think. It only hurts all of us. 

Dan: Oh shush. 

Rafe: Well, when I close my cases, they’re done. I’m not opening them back up for anything. 

Dan: Funny you should mention that because the four I mention are yours.

Rafe: Fuck you, Dan. 

Sam: Not in this lifetime. 

Simon: It might be time to move along. 

 

Connor: If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Everyone roars with laughter. 

Blair: This is another one of those. I never thought of it, but it makes sense. I’m going to the bank on Monday and complaining. 

Jim: And just what would you complain about?

Blair: First I’ll complain about them not letting the branches show so they can breathe. Then I’ll complain about them being big fat liars.

Joel: Blair, you are so funny. I can see you doing this too. 

Blair: I would call on Jim’s phone, so they wouldn’t know it was me. Good thinking, eh, Jim?

Jim: Sandburg, they would think it was me. 

Blair: Nah, I would do it while you were busy and had an alibi. 

Simon: Only you would think of an alibi for crank phone calls. Do not make it. I repeat, do not. 

Blair: Fine. You’re a big ole fud. 

Sully: What is a fud again?

Blair: Simon. 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Rafe: Now how come Sandburg gets away with calling the boss names? What’s going on? 

Brown: Nothing. Everyone loves Sandburg. 

Rafe: They don’t love us? 

Jim: I love both of you. 

Joel: So do I.

Simon: I just don’t argue with him because he’ll keep it up until we’re all insane. 

Dan: Ah, he would never make us insane. 

Jim: Dan, do you remember who we’re talking about? 

Sam: That’s true, cute but very stubborn. 

Simon: Let’s get to the next one. 

 

Connor: Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round? 

Joel: Some meat is square. 

Blair: Joel, those are the processed pieces. You don’t want to eat them. The fat goes right to your heart. Think of Megan. Think of Miss Ellie. 

Jim: That’s Princess Ellie, Sandburg. 

Simon: You’re getting off the track again. I don’t care why its round. 

Rafe: Me, either. 

Brown: I like that processed kind. I guess I’ll be leaving Rafe and the little ones behind, eh, Sandburg?

Blair: Asshole. 

Rafe: Why are you calling him an asshole? 

Blair: I don’t want any of you leaving.

Brown: Thanks, Hairboy. That was very sweet. 

Sully: He is sweet, isn’t he? 

Sam: We all love you, honey. 

Dan: Yeah, what she said. 

Simon: What does this have to do with fucking sandwich meat? 

Jim: Ewww. Why would you fuck your sandwich meat? 

Joel: Good one, Jim. 

Simon: I’m going to kill them all. Move this along. 

 

Connor: Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny" for your thoughts"? Where does that extra penny go?

Joel: It goes for taxes. 

Jim: (Laughing) I agree. 

Blair: Megan, this one sucks. 

Connor: The survey?

Blair: No, this question. 

Dan: I agree with Joel. You gotta pay your taxes. 

Sam: You do if you don’t want to go to jail.

Sully: But that would be 50%. Don’t you find that high?

Brown: Were you a bookkeeper? 

Sully: I keep the books here. 

Brown: That explains it. 

Rafe: I think it’s too high also. 

Simon: You’re doing it again. You all get so off track, I find it hard to remember what the actual question was.

Blair: We have to slow down; Simon is having a hard time keeping up. 

Jim falls out of his chair laughing. 

Simon: Keep laughing, Ellison. I’ll assign you to the crappiest jobs around. 

Jim: I didn’t say it. 

Simon: No, but you’re laughing. 

Jim: I was just trying to relax and have fun, boss. 

Simon: Okay, you’re forgiven. 

Blair: Such a pushover too. 

Simon: I will, however, make your life a living hell. 

Blair: It’s a joke, Simon. Calm down. 

Connor: Does anyone want me to move along? 

Simon: I do.

Everyone laughs. 

 

Connor: Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Jim: Blair and I will be in the nude. We’re being cremated. 

Blair: Woo Hoo. I get to see your ass for eternity. 

Rafe: And that doesn’t depress you? 

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Joel: I hope I won’t be stuck in my same clothing. Meggie, bring some up with you when you come.

Connor: Sure enough. I could put a change of clothing in the casket too. Want to do that? 

Joel: That might work. 

Simon: The casket isn’t going to heaven. The body is. So put two suits on him. 

Sully: I think he’s serious. 

Simon: I am now. I never thought of this. Sully, I want two or three put on me. 

Everyone begins howling like a wolf. 

Simon: Shut up, all of you. 

Dan: Cremation here. Not a worry. I’ll be buck-naked and love the idea. 

Sam: So will I. I just have to fight the other Angel Bitches off. 

Simon: Good Lord, could we move this along?

 

Connor: Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Joel: This one’s easy. They’re idiots. 

Jim: It might be hard to make round boxes, making them too expensive to use.

Blair: Wow! I’m impressed. I fell for that one, Jim. Is it true?

Jim: Makes sense to me. 

Rafe: I think they’re just idiots and didn’t know that boxes came in round shapes. 

Brown: I agree with Jim. 

Rafe: You sleep on the sofa tonight. 

Sully: This is great. They’re fighting over a box shape. (Roaring with laughter.)

Sam: I think I agree with Jim. It sounds good anyhow. 

Dan: I think I saw this one the Discovery channel one night. Good call, Jim. 

Connor: I’m impressed at how much thought you all put into it. 

Simon: Now go to the next one and see if we impress you again. 

 

Connor: What did cured ham actually have?

Jim: Connor, move to the next one if you know what’s good for you.

Blair: No, Megan, I have some thoughts on this one. 

Simon: Why do I feel like I want to smother him?

Sully: I don’t know, but stop with those thoughts. 

Blair: Thanks, Sully. 

Sam: I want to hear also, Blair. 

Blair: Hot damn, Jim, a pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. In my next life I want to be a pig! Now, Jim, how do you suppose they figured out exactly how long this lasted? Do you suppose some guy had to shove his dick into the pig to see how long it did spasm? Hey, this is stuff I think about sometimes. I can't help it.

Jim: I warned you.

Everyone was lying on the floor trying to catch their breath. 

Simon: I liked that one. 

Sully: But this doesn’t answer what the pig had to be cured of. 

Sam: Yeah, what she said. 

Dan: I think it did. It was some jealous sadist that didn’t want the pig having better sex then he did. 

Joel: I can buy that. 

Blair: The pig? 

Joel: No, Dan’s thoughts on it. 

Jim: Chief, tell them about Superman. 

Blair: Oh yeah. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? Wouldn't you think he would be able to take a little gun in the head or chest? And speaking of Superman, do you think he could keep it up for hours and hours. Man, he could be with that pig I was telling you about. Oh yeah, that was 30-minute orgasms. Anyway, maybe Superman is the one they hired for the test. 

Again everyone was lying on the floor howling with laughter. 

Simon: Next time we listen to Jim. 

Jim: One more thing. Tell them what you think about pigs, Chief. 

Blair: Why do we wait until a Pig is dead, to 'Cure' it? Do you believe that someone would want to eat pork after they heard about those wonderful orgasms? Show a little respect, admiration and plain old jealousy. Boycott pork. Oh don't panic, Jim, I don't mean your pork, big man.

Sully: Oh Lord, I can’t take anymore. 

Simon: Is it finally time to move along? 

 

Connor: How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

Joel: We’re idiots?

Jim: I think so. 

Simon: All of us, or just you two?

Joel: Just us. 

Jim: I like my groups’ small. 

Blair: This one is stupid. 

Rafe: That’s cuz we’re stupid. 

Brown: Call them stupid, not us. 

Dan: I could have gone with a paper bag for another 20 years. So it never occurred to me. 

Sam: This is what I have to live with. When I bought him a new piece of luggage, he almost broke it taking it apart. I almost broke him putting it back together. 

Everyone laughed. 

Sully: Simon’s with it. I’m the slow one. 

Simon: Not always, baby. 

Jim: Woo Hoo. 

Blair: They’re first to make the sexual jokes. Woo Hoo is right. 

Simon: I think I heard someone calling for the next one, Connor. 

 

Connor: Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Jim: Rayney never got up like that. She slept like a baby. Okay, for three weeks she didn’t. We just had to get used to her, right, Blair?   
   
Blair: It was about six months, Jim. 

Jim: Really? 

Blair: Yes. We almost broke up over lack of sleep. 

Connor: Miss Ellie slept straight through early on. 

Joel: Yes, our little Princess did. Then the twins did too. 

Sully: Simone was pretty fussy to start with but Matthew was angelic. 

Simon: I agree. 

Dan: All three of ours were great sleepers. We had no complaints. 

Sam: Speak for yourself. I did. We didn’t get sex enough. 

Dan: (Laughing.) There is that. 

Rafe: Remy slept from day one when we got him. He’s an angel. 

Brown: He is. 

Blair: Well, in Jim’s defense, he sleeps all night long and is precious when I watch him. 

Jim: (Leans over and kisses Blair.) Thanks, baby. 

Simon: Guess what time it is, Connor. 

 

Connor: If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Joel: (Snorted Coke out his nose.) Oh my god, I can’t believe someone would think of this. But actually it’s a good thought. 

Jim: I agree. I think that we should only allow some type of drink with a cop on the front and the ones that don’t drink it, get shot. 

Blair: I get to do the shooting, big man. 

Simon: I’m not sure I want to hear this. 

Sully: Then cover your ears, you big ole baby. 

Sam: (Laughing.) Simon, isn’t she cute?

Simon: Precious. 

Sam: I think you should be able to drink whatever, wherever. So I would bring suit against anyone that tried this. 

Dan: I love when she get’s all-legal. Makes me hot. 

Rafe: Makes me hot. Why is that? 

Sam: I’m just that sexy. 

Rafe: No, I think it’s the legal talk. Makes me horny. 

Brown: He’s right. 

Simon: All right, we’re cutting this off at the pass. 

 

Connor: Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Jim: The idiot bug again. 

Blair: You all want to hear a bug story? 

Everyone: NO!

Joel: I think we’re idiots too. 

Rafe: This survey is good, but making us look dumb. 

Brown: Hon, we always look dumb. 

Dan: Not always. 

Sam: Dan, that wasn’t nice. 

Rafe: We know we’re dumb sometimes. 

Sully: You are not. Now hush. 

Simon: This one’s boring, Connor. 

 

Connor: Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Blair: I think I can answer this one for everyone. They just like you to feel like you have some control, especially if you don’t have any. 

Simon: All right, moving right along.

 

Connor: If a 911 operator has a heart attack while working, whom does he/she call?

Joel: Good question. Scream for the person next to her, I guess. Or him. 

Jim: Yeah, a good yell would do it. 

Blair: But if they can’t breathe well, they can’t yell. Then what? 

Dan: They die. 

Sam: Danny. Shame on you. 

Dan: He asked. 

Sully: I think they have buttons to push for this very thing. 

Simon: They do? 

Sully: I don’t know. I was just teasing. 

Rafe: I think we should bring it up to them and see what they think. 

Brown: I can tell you what they’ll think. They’ll think we’re insane. 

Jim: But alive. 

Simon: Move it, Connor.

 

Connor: Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?  
   
Joel: Who cares as long as they wear them and take them off. 

Connor: You are getting so lucky, big guy. 

Simon: I agree with Joel. 

Sully: You’re getting lucky with Connor? 

Simon: Hopefully with you, baby. 

Sully: Always with me sugar. 

Dan: I want your panties and bra right now. 

Sam: (Laughing) Can we wait until we’re alone? 

Dan: If we have to. 

Jim: Well, this one doesn’t work for us. So what’s next? 

Simon: That’s my job, Jim. 

 

Connor: That was it. I thank you for coming and I’ll send the notes to you tomorrow, just like always. 

Everyone sat and chatted up for a while and then got up to leave. 

It was so nice to have things back to normal. Okay, almost normal. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 75   
   
   
   
   
   
   
 


	76. Remington Tyler Brown-Rafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remington Tyler is finally Rafe and Brown’s for sure. Share in the love and happiness.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 76   
Author: Patt  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 06/22/04  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: Last night I was finally able to buy the rights to our guys. So now you all have to ask me. I’ll share, don’t you worry. It’s great to be rich. Oh shit, is that the time? I’m ten minutes late for my Liar’s Anonymous meeting. Fine, I’ll put them back where they belong.  
Summary: Remington Tyler is finally Rafe and Brown’s for sure. Share in the love and happiness.   
Warnings: m/m 

Warnings: m/m angst/angst/and more angst Just kidding. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 76  
Remington Tyler Brown-Rafe  
Patt

Jim Ellison bumped into Rafe accidentally and gave him a silly grin. “Sorry, Dude.”

“Well, watch where you’re going.” Rafe then stormed off to the break room and poured himself a cup of coffee. 

Blair walked over to Brown and whispered, “Something wrong?”

“He doesn’t want to talk about it. So please don’t ask.” Henri looked so sad. 

As the day went on, Rafe got angrier by the moment. Connor walked by and threw some things on Rafe’s desk and Rafe jumped up and shouted, “What’s your fucking problem?”

“Better question; what’s yours?” Connor said just as loudly. 

Jim could tell they would have a knock down, drag out soon. He said, “Connor, come here.”

“I don’t have to baby this fucker. He’s been an asshole all day long.”

Rafe rushed into the restroom and they all looked at Brown. “We have court today. We’ll find out if we lose our son. He’s really upset.”

Jim walked in to Simon’s office and told him what was going on. When Jim came walking out, Simon followed him. 

Rafe walked up to his desk and saw everyone standing there and said, “What?”

Simon smiled and said, “We’re your friends. We’ll be there for the hearing. You won’t be alone. I’m going and Joel will take my place. Jim’s going and Connor will take his. Now sit down and just relax.”

“Thank you. We’re so fucking scared.” Rafe said softly. 

“What does Sam say?” Jim asked. 

“She thinks we have a good chance of winning. But we just don’t know yet.”

They all sat and talked of personal things until it was time to go. Simon thanked everyone that was taking over for the rest of them. 

After about three hours, Connor said, “Geeze, it doesn’t take this long does it?”

“Not usually. But this woman probably had some people to vouch for her. The judge has to listen.”

“Sandy, that judge is the boss. He doesn’t have to listen to anyone. Damn it, I just know they’re going to lose little Remmey.” She put her face into her hands and quietly cried. 

“Man, don’t do that, Connor. I do not want to cry at work.” Blair said sternly. 

Connor straightened up and stopped the tears. Joel headed her way and she waved him off. 

“No crying today, Joel.” Blair explained. 

“Good, cuz I have a good feeling about the hearing.” Joel smiled and walked away. 

“Sometimes I really hate the way he’s so up about everything. Don’t you?” Connor whispered to Blair. 

“I try to be up also. So I best not say I don’t like it.”

“You’re like Joel, always trying to find something good about everything. You’re both such good, kind souls.” Connor kissed Blair quickly and went back to work. 

They all got called out on a case and when they came back everyone was in Simon’s office. 

“Do they look happy?” Blair asked no one in particular. 

“Like I would know.” Connor snapped. 

“Joel’s not crying or anything, Connor.”

“Joel doesn’t cry at work.”

“He would cry if something happened to you. He would cry if something happened to any of us.” Blair ranted. 

Simon lowered the blinds and made Blair and Megan worry all the more. 

As they sat down to work, Blair kept trying to see through the blinds. “Oh man, Brown is crying.”

“Fuck… I hate bad news. I don’t want to lose Remmey.” Connor began sobbing and Jim walked out of Simon’s office. 

“You two need to take classes in detecting. Everything went fine and the reason Brown was crying was because he’s happy. Rafe got his over with on the drive from the courthouse. We’re in there discussing a party to celebrate. Want in on it?” Jim smiled at both of them. 

“Thank you for not making us suffer any longer.” Connor stood up and walked into the office. 

“Henri and Brian, congratulations.” Connor said as she hugged both men. 

“Who is having the party?” Blair asked. 

“We are, Chief.”

“Cool.”

“Sure you don’t mind, Sandburg?” Rafe asked. 

“I’m sure. Now I better get out and get some actual work done before I have to leave for the day.” Blair walked out and sat at his desk. 

Simon stood up and said, “Go tell Remmey’s big sister.”

The smiles lit the room as Rafe and Brown left to go and pick up Lancy. They were once again a family. 

 

When they picked her up, she handed a paper to them. Rafe beamed with joy when he saw it and handed it over to Henri. 

“How did you make this? It’s just darling.” Henri said as he hugged her close to him. 

“Auntie Sully has been helping me. We wanted it to be a surprise. Is it?” Lancy giggled. 

“It sure it, baby. We love it. Thank you for loving your little brother as much as we do.” Rafe kissed her and picked her up for a piggyback ride to the SUV. 

“I can’t wait to start over again. No one can take him, right?” 

“No one can take him.” Brown smiled over at her. 

“Good, cuz he’s ours. I love him so much.” Lancy was looking forward to the big sister stint. 

“I’m glad that you love him as much as we do. But never think we don’t love you the same amount.” Brown said seriously. 

“Course not, Daddy.”

As they drove home, they planned a party for their new addition. It was going to be such fun. 

They picked up Remmey and off they went to begin that life they all spoke of. Life was indeed good. It was filled with fun and love. 

In the bullpen, Jim said, “Hot damn, I’m get to have cake.” Everyone laughed as they headed out to join in on the party planning. 

Life was good and they would have to remember this from time to time. 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 76

PattRose@cox.net


	77. Planning a Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is planning a vacation. Guess who?

Sullivan’s Pub Part 77   
Planning A Vacation   
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 06/24/04  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: Last night I was finally able to buy the rights to our guys. So now you all have to ask me. I’ll share, don’t you worry. It’s great to be rich. Oh shit, is that the time? I’m ten minutes late for my Liar’s Anonymous meeting.   
Summary: Someone is planning a vacation.   
Warnings: m/m 

Warnings: m/m angst/angst/and more angst Just kidding. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 77  
Planning a Vacation  
Patt

Blair had noticed how quiet Jim had become lately. He hoped it wasn’t them. 

“Chief, nothing is wrong. I’ve got my mind on something. I’ll tell you as soon as I have it figured out.”

“How did you know that I was scared?”

“I can smell fear. I don’t want you to ever be worried about anything. Just ask.” Jim kissed him as he went into the office to work on the computer. 

Jim had been spending more and more time on that damn computer. 

There was a knock on the door and Blair opened it to Simon Banks. “Hey, Simon. How you doing, man?”

“Good, Sandburg. I have to talk to Jim. Is he in his office?”

“Our office, Simon.” Blair growled. 

“Whatever. I have to see him about something.” Simon took off for the doorway with not so much as a how do you do.

Blair could hear them in there chatting and they sounded way too happy. The more he thought about it, the more pissed off he got. 

Blair sat at the table and did homework with the kids, as he did all the time lately and waited for Jim to come out. When he didn’t, Blair moved into the Daddy role and gave them each their baths. They curled around their Poppy as he read them a story. Once they were asleep, he carried them one, by one into bed. 

By this time, Blair was good and pissed. He and Jim were going to have words. At that moment, Simon walked out of the office and smiled at Blair. “It’s good that you didn’t need a spare room anymore. Makes a nice office, doesn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know.” Blair walked into their bedroom and put some things away as he had a heart to heart with himself. 

_So do you suppose he’s found someone better? Like that would be hard to do. Maybe I’ll move before he tells me to. _A very sad man sat on the end of the bed.__

__An hour later Jim walked into the room and said, “Wow, you got the kids all taken care of?”_ _

__“Of course I did.”_ _

__“What’s wrong?” Jim asked._ _

__“I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I miss you. I fucking miss you and I bet you anything you found someone else, didn’t you?”_ _

__“What are you talking about, Chief?”_ _

__

__Jim began to undress and Blair was in shock.  
 _He’s just blowing me off again. And not in the good way.__ _

__Blair stormed out of the room and left a naked Jim standing there alone._ _

__Jim was fucking tired of having to explain things to him. He slid into bed and lay there listening to Blair sounds. He could hear Blair’s heart rate going a little too fast and he got out of bed to go and look for his mate._ _

__He found him staring out the front window. Jim slid his arms around Blair and kissed the back of his neck. “I love you, Chief. I would never find anyone as wonderful as you are. Come to bed. Please?”_ _

__Jim pulled Blair in after him and Blair finally stopped fighting him. As they got into bed, Jim again pulled him close and began sweet talk._ _

__“I love you and I need you, Blair.”_ _

__“Jim, what’s going on? I want you to tell me right now. There is something going on.”_ _

__“Yes, you’re right. It’s a surprise. I want it to remain one. Please don’t make me tell you. All right?”_ _

__“You swear?” Blair looked pitiful._ _

__“All right, I’ll tell you. But you can’t tell anyone.”_ _

__“There isn’t anyone else?”_ _

__“For a smart man, you sure can be dumb. I need this shirt I saw the other day.”_ _

__“What shirt?”_ _

__

__“It said, Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.” Jim snickered._ _

__“That’s not funny. And you’re a boy.”_ _

__“What was your first clue, Chief?”_ _

__“Go to sleep. You’re an asshole.” Blair put his pillow over his face and tried to go to sleep. But that was hard to do with Jim snuggling up to him and kissing him all over his body._ _

__“Knock it off, Ellison.”_ _

__“I love you, babe.”_ _

__“Show me how you really feel and get some rocks and toss them at my body.”_ _

__“Very funny. I was joking around. I give up.” Jim rolled on his side and tried to go to sleep also._ _

__Both men were awake, but not talking to each other. Finally Jim said, “Blair, do you want to know what I’m planning?”_ _

__“No. Go to sleep.”_ _

__“Why are you so angry with me?”_ _

__“You haven’t given a bath to the kids in a week. They miss you. I miss you. I’ve been alone every night while you go in the office.” Blair sniffled._ _

__“I’m sorry. I was so focused on what I was planning that I left what matters go by the wayside. I’m so, so, sorry.”_ _

__Blair went into his arms and whispered, “Will you hold me all night long?”_ _

__“You bet I will. I love you.” Before long both men were sound asleep._ _

__When Blair woke up, he was still in Jim’s embrace. Smiling, he began to kiss his man. He licked his way down Jim’s body until he reached his cock. He sucked that bad boy in, and Jim wasn’t even quiet about having someone do it._ _

__“Chief, the kids are coming.”_ _

__Blair sucked harder and harder and Jim came with a rush, biting his knuckles to keep quiet._ _

__Blair yelled, “Drake, could you please shut our door. We need some quiet time.”_ _

__“Sure, Poppy.” And the door was shut._ _

__Jim flipped Blair onto his back and began to suck his cock. “Jim, do me. Do me, now.”_ _

__Jim pulled away from his cock and said, “You want me to fuck you?”_ _

__“Well, not if it’s a bother.” Blair pulled away from Jim and stormed into the bathroom._ _

__Jim put his boxer briefs on and went to start breakfast for the small ones._ _

__As he got all three of the kids ready, he was worried about where Blair was. “Drakey? Could you keep an eye on your sisters so I can check on Poppy?”_ _

__“Yeah. We is worried too.”_ _

__“Are worried, Drake.” Jim corrected._ _

__“Is, are, we still worried.” Jade said sharply._ _

__A smiling Jim walked into his bathroom. Blair was sitting on the floor of the shower stall. Jim undressed quickly and climbed in and got the water going._ _

__“Blair, let me tell you a few things. It’s never a bother to fuck you. The reason I asked that was because we usually spend more time preparing. And I wanted to be sure. I wouldn’t ever want you, baby. I love you so much. And I’m going to make up those lonely nights up big time. So let’s get showered and dressed and get to work.” Jim leaned down for a quick kiss._ _

__The day went pretty quickly. “Take me to lunch?” Blair asked._ _

__“Sure.” Rafe stood up making them all laugh._ _

__“Well, he is kind of cute, Jim.”_ _

__“Get down to the SUV. I’ll show you cute.” Jim said chasing Blair down the stairs._ _

__As they drove down the street, Jim decided to tell Blair what was going on. “Chief? I’m planning a vacation. And it’s taking a lot of work, cuz we all have to be off at the same time. It’s at Rampart Lake, in Seattle. They are beautiful houses. I rented three. Each home sleeps 10 people. So I think we’ll have enough room. Wait until you see the boat, I rented.”_ _

__“Jim, I love you so much. Only you would go through all this trouble to make a vacation work. When are we going?”_ _

__Jim kissed Blair before he answered. They were making out in the SUV and someone honked. Jim glared at them and then flipped them the bird._ _

__“Real mature, Jim.”_ _

__“To answer you, the vacation is in three weeks. And everyone is going. It’s going to be great. The surprise was for you.”_ _

__“Like I said, I love you.” Blair reached up for a much-needed kiss._ _

__“We’re going to have so much fun. Now we just have to wait for three weeks.” Jim answered._ _

__Jim knew that they would all love this place. It was gorgeous._ _

__

__

__End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 77_ _


	78. Rampart Lake, Here We Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is getting a vacation.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 78  
Rampart Lake, Here We Come  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 06/26/04  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: Last night I was finally able to buy the rights to our guys. So now you all have to ask me. I’ll share, don’t you worry. It’s great to be rich. Oh shit, is that the time? I’m ten minutes late for my Liar’s Anonymous meeting.   
Summary: Everyone finally has a vacation.   
Warnings: m/m 

Warnings: m/m angst/angst/and more angst Just kidding. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 78  
Rampart Lake, Here We Come  
Patt

 

Jim called Connor and asked if they could have a special Sullivan’s Pub. Of course she agreed. The following evening Blair and Jim walked in and there was dead silence. 

“Hey, guys and gals.” Jim called out with a huge smile on his face. That seemed to relax him. 

“Simon, you didn’t tell them anything?” Blair asked. 

“He told me to keep it a secret, so I did.”

“What???” Connor shouted. 

Blair stood up and said, “Jim’s taking us all on vacation. Kids and all. He and Simon figured out the time needed to be off and they’ve got other officers on call for us. We leave in a week. We’re going to Rampart Lake. It’s lakeside, we rented a boat and the houses are to die for. I brought pictures.” Blair handed the first house picture and everyone loved it. 

 

Brown: Man, I thought our houses were gorgeous, but this is to die for, Sandburg.

Rafe: Jim, this is so nice of you. Thank you. We all need to get away. 

Jim: It’s not just me; it’s Blair’s work too. And don’t forget all Simon did. 

Everyone: Thank you, Jim, Simon and Blair. 

Sully looked at the next picture and smiled. 

 

Sully: Jim, this is going to hold all of us? 

Simon: We have three of them. 

Dan: No shit? 

Jim: No talk of shitting in rentals. (Snickering)

Blair: Each of the houses has five or six bedrooms. I think we’ll have enough room.

Connor: I’m so friggin’ excited. Joel, are you?

Joel: I’m going to do one of those Snoopy Dances in just a bit. 

Laughter broke out and they all began to make plans for this trip of a lifetime. 

Sam: Oh my god, look at this picture. It’s gorgeous. I just know we’re going to have fun. But Jim honey, there isn’t enough water to get a boat in. 

Jim: Ha Ha. He flipped through the pics and said, “So there.”

Rafe: It looks like so much fun.

Brown: This will be our first family vacation and almost a honeymoon. We’ve been together for almost three years. 

Connor: Congratulations, boys. We’ll keep the kids some of the nights. 

The evening went quickly and one week later, they were all up in the gorgeous homes in Rampart. 

Evening one: Jim had a barbecue at their place. 

Blair: This place is great, babe. 

Jim: Pretty darn nice. Rayney, get your bottom away from those stairs.

Connor: Way to go, Daddy. Make her cry the first night. 

Jim: I can’t have her falling down those tall stairs. You all watch out for your babies. 

Sully: We never do, Jim. 

Simon: It’s nice that you worry all the time. This place is great. Can we go out on the water tomorrow? 

Jade: Oh goody. 

Jim: Simon, I’m going to take the kids out first. Then the adults will go in the afternoon. 

Sully: What a great idea, sweetie. You’re such a good Daddy and Uncle. 

Blair: Hey, I’m going. 

Sam: You’re fantastic. That’s a given. 

Jim: While I have the kids, the ones that don’t have any little ones, should go out and ride the jet skies. We have six of them rented and on the back patios. 

Dan: Wow, I’ve always wanted to go on a Jet Ski. 

Blair: Jim took us a few weeks ago. Maybe he thought we needed practice. 

Jim: Not hardly. 

 

Simon: Thank you again, boys. This is going to be fantastic. You’ve made our lives even richer. 

Jim: Thanks, Simon. 

Blair: Are we going to eat tonight, or what? 

So that’s what they did. Once everything was done and cleaned up, Jim walked around naked in the kitchen, making his man crazy with desire. 

“Race you upstairs?” Blair called over his shoulder. 

“Why? Our bedroom is down here.” Jim giggled all the way into the bedroom. 

Jim didn’t even see the flying hairball coming his way. They were on the bed and taking care of each other in short order. 

Each day and each evening went the same. Fun, happy and everyone falling in love all over again. Jim realized that he had made a good decision in bringing everyone along. 

The only bad thing about this trip? They had to go home. Life was indeed good. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 78


	79. Witticisms Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are back to fun. These guys are going to make you giggle, big time.

Title: Sullivan’s Pub Part 79  
Witticisms Part 1  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 06/27/03  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: Last night I was finally able to buy the rights to our guys. So now you all have to ask me. I’ll share, don’t you worry. It’s great to be rich. Oh shit, is that the time. I’m ten minutes late for my Liar’s Anonymous meeting. 

Summary: We are back to fun. These guys are going to make you giggle, big time. 

Warnings: m/m Fun, with a capital F. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sullivan’s Pub Part 79  
Witticisms Part 1  
Patt

 

Everyone walked into the special room and sat down. Connor was busy getting everything ready and smiling like mad. 

Connor: Tonight we’re going to discuss Witticisms and if you agree with them or disagree. Here we go. 

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. 

 

Jim: I’ve heard this in the neighborhood. They never say who, but it’s one of us.

Blair: You wish. (Snickering.)

Dan: I think it was us. Was it two nights ago?

Jim: You know, I think it was. 

Sam: You are such a bullshitter, Danny. 

Dan: You don’t think I make love well?

Sam: You don’t have to ask. I keep coming back for more, big boy. 

Simon: It was us. 

Sully: I love that, Simon. 

Blair: What do you love, Sully?

Sully: That he still wants to fuck me after all this time. 

Simon: I love fucking you, baby. 

Joel: It might have been us. We’ve been louder than usual. 

Connor: That’s true. He’s not telling a lie. 

Rafe: I know who it was. 

Brown: Thank you, Bri. 

Rafe: It was Ellison. He makes more noise than anyone could. 

Brown: Damn!

Rafe: We’ll practice and get some pointers from Ellison. 

Jim: Shut up. (Laughing.)

Simon: I think we could move this one along. 

 

Connor: If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast. 

 

Blair: (Howling) This is so true. Good sex lasts all night. 

Jim: Well, then I might be doing it wrong, babe. 

Blair: Shush. You do it just fine. 

Rafe: I agree. I love to make love all night long. 

Brown: He’s fucking wearing me out. 

Simon: Do you all go out of your way to say fuck, fucking, fucker and so on?

Sully: Fuck, yeah.

Simon: I can’t believe you have ruined my sweet wife. 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Dan: We have sex all night and morning long. 

Simon: I could have gone all night without hearing that, Dan. 

Dan: Jealous?

Simon: Maybe. I would love to get it up that many times. 

Sam: No, it’s the same time. He just keeps it hard for a really long time. 

Simon: Again, more I don’t want to know. 

Sully: Then ask things. 

Joel: We do it all night a lot. 

Connor: I love when he loves me all night long. 

Jim: I’m getting a complex. 

Blair: Jim, you love me just dandy. 

Jim: Is that up there with you rock my world?

Blair: Yes, it is. And you do, big man. 

Simon: I think it’s time to move. 

 

Connor: I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 

 

Jim: This is me. 

Blair: Yes, it is. 

Simon: I think you’re both nuts. 

Sully: That wasn’t very nice, Si. 

Simon: Actually, you’re in that same group. 

Sully: Me?

Simon: You’ve been hanging with them for too long. You’re insane and you’re okay with that. 

Dan: Same here. I love it. One day someone was driving me crazy and I realized, at least I had a short drive. 

Everyone laughed. 

Sam: I love being nuts too. It’s more fun. 

Simon: Meggie and I are both nutso but we’re all right with that. 

Rafe: I’m sane. I’m in Simon’s group. 

Simon: Oh fuck. I’ll move. 

Brown: (Laughing) I don’t blame you. I love being the way I am and I love all of you.

Sully: Oh honey, that’s so sweet. 

Simon: What did I say?

Sully: Not you. I was talking to Henri. 

Brown: Thanks, Sully. You’re an Angel. 

Simon: Are you putting moves on my wife? 

Rafe: He’s not. 

Simon: Did I ask you, Brian Rafe? 

Brown: No, sir. I’m not. 

Sully: Calm down, Simon. I love when you’re all jealous. Kiss me, big boy. (Simon leans in for a wonderful kiss.)

 

Connor: If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. 

 

Jim: This is Blair. 

Blair: What????

Jim: You always seem to be in the dark. I think it’s cute. 

Blair: Do you find it sexy?

Jim: Oh yeah.

Blair: Do you want me right now?

Jim: Oh yeah.

Blair: We’ll be back. (Blair pulled Jim out of his chair and they were off to the parking lot.)

Rafe leaned over towards Brown and began to kiss him passionately. 

Simon: See? This is what gets started. Now look at Henri and Brian. 

Brown: We kiss a lot, Simon. 

Simon: Well, stop. 

Dan: I want sex now too. Sammy, are you up for it?

Sam: Honey, you’re the one that would be up for it. Not me.

Dan: Oh yeah. Wanna fuck?

Sam: Sis, can we use your office? 

Simon: No, that’s our office. 

Sully: Yes, go ahead. 

Simon: Sully, that’s our room.

Connor: So where do we have to go? 

Simon: Home?

Joel: I say we have sex right here. Want to watch us, Simon? 

Simon: No. 

Joel: I do. 

Sully: I do too. 

Rafe: Wait for Jim and Blair to get back in to watch. 

Brown: Woo Hoo. This is going to be fucking fun. 

Simon: Stop saying that. 

Brown: Woo Hoo?

Simon: Fucking fun. 

Rafe: Grump. 

Jim and Blair walked through the doorway and Blair asked, “Did we miss anything?”

Rafe: Sit down; Joel and Connor are going to have sex here in this room.

Jim and Blair looked at them oddly. 

Joel: I didn’t mean when anyone was in here. 

Rafe: You big liar. 

Simon: Let’s move to the next one. Oh goody, here come Sam and Dan. 

 

Connor: Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

 

Jim: That’s not true. I had a chubby girlfriend in high school and I ate her every chance I got. 

Blair: Very cool, Jim. 

Connor: I think it is too. Has anyone else dated a heavy woman? 

Jim: I’ve dated numerous women that were heavy. 

Sully: But Carolyn wasn’t. 

Jim: No, she wasn’t. But I didn’t like eating her either. (Howls with laughter.)

Blair: (Smacks Jim on the back of the head.) Shut up or I’ll kick your ass. 

Jim: Ow! That hurt. 

Rafe: Get a grip, Ellison. 

Brown: I dated many overweight women. I like how they could love me and I liked how I felt while in them. 

Rafe: Do you want to sleep with women again?

Brown: No, I’m answering the question, dumplin'. 

Rafe: Dumplin'? 

Brown: Sugar britches? I like that one too. 

Simon: I’m going to throw up. 

Dan: I dated many overweight women. It doesn’t matter to me. But now, I have that perfect wife. I love you, Sammy. 

Sam: Oh baby. I love you too. 

Blair: What about you, Simon?

Simon: My ex-wife was overweight and I was crazy about her for a long while. 

Joel: Well, Meggie is the first woman I dated that wasn’t heavy. So she’s a treat. But I loved the other women too. 

Simon: Could we move this along before I have to puke? 

 

Part 2 to follow…


	80. Witticisms 2

Sullivan’s Pub Part 80   
Witticisms 2   
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 07/11/04  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: Last night I was finally able to buy the rights to our guys. So now you all have to ask me. I’ll share, don’t you worry. It’s great to be rich. Oh shit, is that the time. I’m ten minutes late for my Liar’s Anonymous meeting.   
Summary: Witticisms 2   
Warnings: m/m 

Warnings: m/m angst/angst/and more angst Happy Ending. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 80  
Witticisms 2  
Patt

 

Connor had more Witticism’s and was raring to go. “Ready everyone?”

 

Everyone: YES!

Connor: We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. 

Joel: This is true. I’m a changed man since I got into MSN. 

Simon: Yes, you are. You’re insane. 

Sully: (Laughing.) I understand, Joel. Sometimes I love MSN and sometimes I hate it. 

Sam: Same here. 

Dan: What’s MSN?

Everyone threw peanuts across the table, hitting their friend. 

Rafe: I think MSN is pretty good. 

Brown: He’s like a Stepford Wife.

Rafe: Who you calling a wife?

Connor: You got a problem with wives. 

Rafe: Of course not. I’m not insane. 

Jim: We’re thinking of joining Cox.net. Anyone heard of it?

Blair: You are so full of shit. 

Jim: I’m serious. We can get our cable stations, our phone line and high speed internet service all for 99 dollars.

Simon: That is a good deal. 

Sully: But is it easy?

Blair: You’re all easy. There is no cox.net

Jim: Yes, there is. They’re coming out this week. 

Joel: Send them to our homes too. 

Simon: Might be a good time to move it along. 

 

Connor: Born free... taxed to death. 

Jim: This is true. 

Blair: Taxed to death? I don’t think so. 

Joel: Well, you don’t actually die. You just wish you did. 

Simon: Good one, Joel. (Laughing.)

Sully: That was a good one, big guy. 

Blair: I still think it’s a stupid saying. 

Rafe: What’s up with you? You’ve been pissy all night long. 

Brown: Stop yelling at him. Maybe he and Jim had a fight.

Jim: We didn’t have a fight, so stop your worrying. 

Blair stood up and walked out of the room. 

Dan: Oh. Oh. Jim what did you forget?

Jim: Forget?

Sam: He’s acting like someone that got his birthday forgotten. Or worse yet, have it be your Anniversary. Is it your Anniversary?

Everyone watched Jim look at his watch and then count in his head. “Shit… Shit… Shit…”

Simon: Okay, so it’s a yes for being a dickhead.

Jim: Thanks for the help, Simon. 

Connor: Call and get reservations for tonight and you can surprise him. One of us will stay with the kids.

Jim pulled out his cell phone and dialed Cascade Towers. Once that was done, he went in and retrieved Sandburg from the restroom. 

Blair: I’m sorry, everyone. I’ve been a little moody. 

Rafe: It might be who you’re married to. 

Brown: (Smacks the back of Rafe’s head.) Not even. Sometimes we just have bad days. Right, Sandburg?

Blair: (Looking very sad.) I guess. Connor, why not move it along. 

Simon: Excuse me, but that’s my job, Sandburg.

 

Connor: The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. 

Jim: I don’t have a dog. 

Simon: That’s not the point. Do you hate people more than you would a dog? 

Jim: I have no idea. I don’t have a dog. 

Rafe: Give me permission, sir, and I’ll kick the crap out of him. 

Brown: I agree with Jim. 

Dan: So do I. I don’t know if I feel that way or not. 

Sam: I love dogs. 

Sully: And this means, what? 

Joel: I think it’s a great saying. Simon, weren’t you just about to say move it along? 

Simon: Move it, Connor. 

 

Connor: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 

Blair: I love this one. I want it on a t-shirt. 

Jim: Chief, you don’t either. 

Blair: Stop telling me what to do. 

Simon: I love the saying, but know that it would be taken wrong if someone saw it on a shirt. 

Dan: Not for me. I want them to be dead. 

Everyone burst out laughing but Blair. Jim got up to make a call and left the room. 

“He figured out that it was our anniversary, didn’t he?” Blair asked Simon. 

“Kid, he feels like shit. Let him make it up to you.”

“It’s too late. Tell him I need to think. Also tell him not to worry.” Blair walked out the front door and was gone like a flash. 

Jim walked into the room and asked, “Where’s Blair?”

“He’s pissed, Jim.” Megan had to help. 

“I’m going to make it up to him.”

Sully snarled and said, “Why did you forget it? He’s going to think that you don’t love him anymore.”

Simon: Connor, get this thing going, or I’m going. 

Connor: Fine, you big ole grump. 

 

Connor: A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. 

 

Sully: This is ‘so’ not true. (Giggling.)

Sam: It’s not true.

Dan: I agree with my gorgeous wife and beautiful sister-in-law. 

Simon: Keep kissing up and she’ll invite you for dinner. (Howling with laughter.)

Rafe: I hate drinking. Hey Henri, will you get me another rum and coke?

Brown: I will because I’m driving tonight. 

Joel: I’m driving, but Meggie doesn’t drink much.

Connor: I prefer sex.

Jim: Excuse me! Does no one care that Sandburg isn’t here?

Simon: We all do, but you forgot your damn anniversary. So I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Now would be a good time to move.

 

Connor: A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer. 

 

Rafe: Let’s hit Jim and see if we get the same results. 

Brown: Bri, that wasn’t nice. 

Rafe: What would you do if I forgot our Anniversary?

Brown: I’d be really hurt. He’s not mad, Jim. He’s hurt. 

Jim: Don’t you think I fucking know that? What do I do? Where do I look for him? 

Simon: I would suggest you just wait it out. 

Sully: I think you should start looking for him now. 

Sam: I think she’s right.

Dan: Want me to ride with you, Jim?

Everyone could tell Jim was on the verge of crying. 

Jim stood up and said “See you all later. Dan, I’m fine. Thanks for the offer.” A very sad and lonely man walked out that door and Dan’s heart broke for him. 

Jim drove all over town. He went everywhere that he could think of. At about 4:00 he knew he had to get home to the kids. He was heartbroken and knew he couldn’t make it without his love. 

When he walked in the door, Linda was sleeping in the spare room, so he left her that way. She woke up and stared at him and he said, “Why don’t you stay here?”

“Okay, honey. Night.” Jim covered her up and went in and got ready for bed. 

“Daddy, you gotta get up. It’s time for our shower.” Jadey pulled on his arm. 

“Okay, I need to go in first, Jade. Then I’ll call for you.” Jim didn’t want to scare her with a boner in the shower. 

After breakfast, he dropped the kids off at school and planned his day. He knocked on Simon’s door and heard, “What?”

 

When he opened it, he knew that things weren’t good. “Is something wrong, sir?”

“He’s taking a break from you. So just let him do his thing. He’ll still be your partner.”

Jim heard Blair walk in at that moment. He talked to everyone but Jim. 

_I’m going to fucking pay for this for the rest of my life._

Jim was typing a report and heard Blair ask a female cop out. Jim didn’t think he could do this. 

Connor watched Jim and knew that Blair must have said something. Jim looked like he was going to become a big ole bawl baby. She walked up to his desk and grabbed him. “I need your help. Now!”

“Sure.” Jim got up and followed her into the interrogation room. Once she shut the door, she pulled him into her arms. 

“I don’t know what’s going on, Jim. But I’m your friend. I want you to talk to me.” 

Jim sat down and sadly began to talk. “I had his presents for about a month. That’s why I forgot. I planned too well. I got him a set of the best Glocks on the market. I got him a Smith and Wesson Taser and a fantastic new handcuffs. It costs a fortune and I know it’s not romantic, but I wanted to keep him safe. And I got him a Saint Christopher key chain.”

Connor hugged him once again and said, “You’re one of the best men I know. I love you, Jim. Now what else happened?”

“He asked Holly Miller out. And Holly said yes.”

“Oh my god. I’m going to have to kick his ass.”

“Connor, thank you for the support, but I want to let things go. He’s ready to leave me and I have to accept it.”

“Fuck, accepting it.”

“Connor, I’m taking off now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Jim left the room, checked out with Simon and was on his way. 

When he picked up his children, he pretended as if nothing was wrong. It worked. The kids were buying it. They helped him when he got home and made a nice dinner. 

The front door opened and they all yelled, “Poppy.”

“Hey, how are my babies?”

“I’m not a baby, Poppy.” Drake set him straight. 

“Where have you been? We missed you.” Jade said sweetly. 

Rayne just held on tight. Blair looked at Jim and said, “Can I stay for dinner?”

“Stay with the kids. I have some things to take care of.” Jim got up but Blair caught him. 

“I need to talk to you, big man.”

“Too late.”

“Daddy, go in the bedroom and talk to Poppy. Please?” Jade was shoving him in the room. She was acting a lot older than her seven. 

Jim stared at the floor and asked, “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry. I was so hurt and I just let it get carried away. It won’t happen again.”

“Chief, you asked a woman out. She said yes. I could tell you liked the idea. I think its time for us to split.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. How many ways can I say it?” Blair yelled. 

“Sandburg, I don’t want to be with you anymore. It’s time to break it off.”

“Ellison, I’m not leaving.”

“Fine… I’ll leave and come and see the kids as much as I can.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Are you having a problem with your hearing today?” 

“Chief, please don’t do this. I have to be away from you.”

“No.”

“I’m leaving right now.” Jim started to pack a bag and Blair was unpacking as he went. 

“God-damnit. Stop it. I need to get packed.”

He turned around and Blair was taking his clothing off. “Do you like when I’m naked, babe?” Blair asked breathlessly.

“I’m leaving now.”

“Look how hard I am. It’s for you. Connor told me about the presents and I thought it was the most romantic thing I ever heard of. You want to keep me so safe. You planned so far in advance. I love you so much.”

Jim stood in the middle of the room looking at Blair and didn’t know what to do. “Chief, why did you ask that woman out?”

“I was pissed. I wasn’t going to do it. She doesn’t have a dick. I’m sorry, babe.”

“Baby, I’m really confused.”

“If you got your clothes off, I could help you get less confused.” Blair offered. 

Jim dropped his bag, then his clothing and lay on the bed. Blair started licking his way up Jim and Jim moaning with need. When he sucked Jim’s balls into his mouth, Jim almost came off the bed. When he licked Jim’s slit, he almost came off the bed again. 

“Chief, I’m close. Baby, I’m really close.”

“Come for me, Babe.” Blair said as he slid back over Jim’s cock.

And just like that Jim shot his essence down Blair’s throat. The Sentinel watched as Blair got the lube to loosen him up. As Blair did a fantastic job, Jim found himself getting hard once again. 

Jim made dinner and that night when the kids were settled in bed, they talked about their lives. 

“So, are you worried about me?”

“No, I just like to see you safe. And those things felt safe to me.” Jim smiled at his love. 

“Jim, I don’t believe in St. Christopher. So I probably won’t wear it.”

“But I believe, baby. Please wear it for me?”

“Why don’t you call Connor and ask if they want to finish up the Survey tomorrow night?” Blair asked giving Jim one of his brightest smiles. 

“Sounds good to me.” Jim called her and they set it up for the next evening. Then both men fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 80

PattRose@cox.net


	81. Witticisms 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little more serious this time.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 81  
Witticisms 3   
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: J/B, J/C, S/S, R/B, D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 07/13/04  
Category: Humor/Drama   
Disclaimer: Last night I was finally able to buy the rights to our guys. So now you all have to ask me. I’ll share, don’t you worry. It’s great to be rich. Oh shit, is that the time. I’m ten minutes late for my Liar’s Anonymous meeting.   
Summary: Witticisms 3 are sure to be fun.   
Warnings: m/m 

Warnings: m/m Fun!!!

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 81  
Witticisms 3

 

Connor shouted to everyone, “Listen up.”

“Who made you the boss?” Simon asked, smiling. 

“I want to tell you this before they get here. We want them to be happy. So, be on your guard.” Connor said just as she saw the boys drive into the parking lot. 

They walked through the door and everyone yelled, “Hey Ellison and Sandburg.”

“Hi, everyone.” Blair replied.

“We ready to have fun yet, Connor?” Jim asked winking.

Connor: We’re ready. Tonight is Witticisms 3.

 

Connor: There's too much blood in my alcohol system. 

 

Joel: Explain that to me.

Simon: I need to know, also. 

Jim: I think they are saying that someone is saying they aren’t drunk enough. So they have too much blood in there. Anyone agree?

Dan: I agree. 

Blair: That’s what it means. I’ve said this before. 

Sam: It’s kind of funny. 

Sully: I used to say it. 

Simon: You’re joking, right?

Sully: I had an actual life, Si. 

Simon: We’ll discuss this later. 

Sully: We will not.

Jim: Please don’t fight.

Sully: Okay, honey. Sorry. 

Simon: Wait a moment. You just said you’d stop to him, but not to me. That sucks. 

Blair: Simon, please don’t fight. 

Dan: Instead do something wonderful like fuck her brains out in front of us. 

Joel: I could go for that. 

Sam: Whoo Hoo. 

Simon: I’m not doing that. You’re all weird. 

Rafe: I could fuck her. Brown would too. 

Brown: I would. 

Dan: I wouldn’t mind a taste. 

Joel: Can I get on the list? 

Simon: No one's on a list. She's mine. 

Sully: God, I love when you say that. 

Simon: What? 

Sully: That I belong to you. It makes me so hot and horny. I’m so wet. Feel me, baby. 

Simon: Sully, not here. 

Sully: Please?

Simon stood up and drug Sully into her office. 

“Oh, I love when you get all forceful. Take your clothes off, big boy.”

Simon got naked very quickly and she got the camera. “Sully, I hate that camera. Let’s do it without it.”

“You know I like to watch them later.”

“But someone from the group could be watching them.” A paranoid Simon said. 

Out in the room Joel said, “It’s no fair that they get their own room for fucking.”

Sam: Well, if she built rooms for each of us, we’d get raided. 

Dan: (Howling) Good one, baby. 

Jim: Besides we just use the parking lot, right?

Blair: Right. 

Connor: I know I’ve used it once or twice. 

Joel: At least. 

Dan: I know we have too. 

Rafe: I think we need our own rooms. 

Brown: We have our own room at home, baby. 

Rafe: So you don’t want me to fuck you out in the parking lot? We’re parked right below this window, so everyone would be able to see what we’re doing.

Brown: Follow me. 

Both men walked out to their SUV and put the back seats down. Everyone in the room stood at the window and watched as both men got semi-nude. Brown was the lucky man to get his ass pumped that night. 

Jim and Blair wanted to fuck big time. They were both hard as rocks. They glanced over at Joel and Dan and found them to be hard also. 

Sam whispered, “This is so fucking hot. I want to watch someone all the time.”

Dan laughed as he pulled her in for a kiss. “Look, Sammy. Brian is getting close. You can tell by that look on his face. You know that look. The one where he’s just about to have a stroke.”

Jim laughed and said, “Boy, did you call that one right. They’re getting dressed now.”

Everyone ran to the table and sat down. The men sat down a little easier then the women, making said women smile. 

Sully and Simon walked into the room and said, “What did we miss?”

“We were watching you guys through a hole in the wall. It was fun.” Blair said seriously. 

“You had better be joking, Sandburg.” Simon growled. 

Connor: Okay, we’re ready to go. 

 

Connor: I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 

 

Jim: I love this one. I feel like this all the time. 

Blair: Well, stop. 

Sam: You never feel that way, Blair?

Blair: All the time. 

Jim: Well, stop. 

Joel: I like your outlook on this. I’m just going to stop. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: I couldn’t agree more. 

Sully: I feel good most of the time, but that handle does pop off now and then. 

Simon: I feel this way too, baby. But I know that you’ll be with me to help me through it. 

Sully: That is so fucking sexy. So romantic. I want you right now. 

Simon: No. 

Sully: Damn. It was going so well too. 

Simon: Move it, girl.

 

Connor: Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive. 

 

Jim: Not true. 

Blair: Yes, it is.

Jim: It isn’t. 

Blair: Do you always have to be right?

Jim: It would be nice now and then. 

Rafe: It’s time for another trip to the parking lot. This time it’s Ellison and Sandburg.

Brown: Hot damn. 

Simon: What are we missing?

Connor: We can have sex in the parking lot and everyone can watch out the window. 

Simon: Jim, you’re not going to right?

Blair looked over at Jim sweetly. 

Jim: Yeah, I am. He grabbed Blair and pulled him into their SUV. 

Sully stood at the window first and said, “Oh my god. Sandy Ass Alert.”

Everyone was watching and breathing heavily. Jim was doing Blair tonight and he was doing him well. 

Simon said, “Does anyone else feel they don’t do it well enough? My god, that man FUCKS.”

“I was just thinking the same thing. I think we should make them do it inside next time.” Brown said. 

“No way. I like them outside. Inside would be even harder for us to live up to.” Dan admitted. 

When the boys came in, Jim said, “We still doing the survey?”

“Sure are. Sit and get comfy.” Connor got her list out and was ready to go. 

 

Connor: WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. 

 

All of the men burst out laughing. 

Blair: What are you laughing at?

Jim: It was a tension breaker, Chief. 

Sam: I want to know the same thing, Danny. Don’t I make you happy enough?

Dan: You know you do, baby. 

Rafe: I think one of the loudest laughs came from Henri. You thinking about having some other relationships?

Brown: Never, babe. I love you and you alone. 

Sully: Simon’s cut off for a month. 

Simon: Sully, it was a joke. 

Conner: Well, you can talk to Joel about it, cuz he’s cut off also. 

Joel: Meggie, it was a joke. 

Simon: Maybe it’s a good time to move. 

 

Connor: You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 

 

Blair: Jim has this on one of his t-shirts. It’s way cool. 

Jim: Yup, I do love it. 

Simon: I think it’s stupid. 

Sully: Stop being rude. 

Simon: I’m not. I’m stating my opinion. 

Sully: Get new opinion’s then. 

Everyone laughed. 

Dan: I talk to myself, but no one talks back, darn it. 

Sam: You’re so cute. 

Dan: I’ve been talking to the stiffs for years. Way before it was cool because of CSI Miami. 

Rafe: I do like that she does that. 

Brown: I love CSI, but not the one in Florida. It’s too muggy. 

The laughter starts up once again. 

Joel: I love it too. Could we discuss a show if everyone watches it? 

Connor: Sure. What is it? 

Joel: Six Feet Under. 

Jim: We watch it. 

Blair: What’s bothering you, Joel?

Joel: Well, does anyone else think that that George guy is fucking bizarre? How about Ricco hanging with that slut? What is he thinking? You know his wife will find out, right? 

Jim: This story line bothers me a great deal also. I’ve always thought Ricco was a very strong character. It’s too bad they had to bring him down. 

Rafe: Okay, my problem with this show is how they show the gay lifestyle. David and Keith are not real life gays. 

Blair: What are you talking about? They’re exactly like some gays I’ve met. 

Brown: How about when David got a blowjob at work, from the plumber. Then he goes home that evening and tells Keith all about it. And Keith looks upset for a moment and says, “You better not think this is getting you out of giving me sex tonight.” 

Simon: Now that was funny. 

Sully: No it’s not. Would you say that shit? 

Simon: Not about us. But Gay life is different. They fuck others. 

Jim: What the hell are you talking about? 

Blair: Jim, calm down. 

Simon: You and Blair are always breaking up and talking about fucking someone else.

Dan: That’s not true. Yes, they fight, but they never discuss who they’ll sleep with. 

Sam: Dan, would you allow someone to suck you off and then come home feeling no guilt? 

Dan: No. 

Simon: Maybe you should think about it, Dan. If someone gorgeous offered this to you while you were working, are you telling me you would turn her down?

Dan: Yes. 

Simon: Here is another example, Rafe slept with that stupid girl. He didn’t tell Henri. This reminds me of gay couples. 

Sully: Simon, tell Henri you’re sorry. Right now. 

Brown: I have to go.

Rafe: Simon, I hate you tonight. 

After they left, everyone looked at Simon. And he knew he was in big trouble. 

Simon: Well, they shouldn’t have started the gay talk from the show. 

Joel: Simon, you will stop by and make sure they’re okay. Please? 

Simon: Fine.

Sully: I have to go. 

Simon: Hang on, babe. 

Sully: Go fuck yourself, Simon. I could care less where you go. 

She flew out of the room. 

Simon: We live in the same house. Where does she think I’m going?

Jim: It might be a good idea to stay with us. 

Simon: No, thank you. 

Dan: Stay with us, then. 

Simon: Okay. 

Blair: Wait a minute. You’re going to stay with them but not with us? Explain…

Dan: He’s really drunk guys. 

Simon: Shut up. Maybe I don’t want to stay in a home with gays. There.

Jim and Blair got up and left. Joel followed behind and tried to talk to them. 

When Joel came back in he said, “Simon, you are a fucking prick. I will never talk to you again if you don’t apologize to Rafe, Brown, Ellison and Sandburg. It’s your choice.”

“Fine. Fucking grouches.” Simon said as he staggered to the door. “I can’t find my keys.”

Sam sighed and said, “Simon, you don’t have keys. You’re riding with us.”

Connor walked over and said, “I’m leaving but I want to tell you if this ever happens one more time, you won’t be invited ever again. Goodnight.” She stormed out of the room followed by her precious husband. 

Everyone knew this was going to be messy. Damn it all. 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 81

PattRose@cox.net


	82. Who Does Blair Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is a little down. Another year older and thinks he’s losing Blair. And what if Blair really is interested? Will Jim fight for him or let him go? DUH!

Sullivan’s Pub Part 82  
Who Does Blair Love?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 09/10/04  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Very sweet one ahead. 

Story Notes: Thank you Kris for the ammo. It was so much fun to work with. 

 

Summary: Jim is a little down. Another year older and thinks he’s losing Blair. And what if Blair really is interested? Will Jim fight for him or let him go? DUH! 

Warnings: m/m Bad language as usual.  
==============================================  
Sullivan’s Pub Part 82

Blair was grumbling as he walked down the stairs. Megan followed and asked, “Sandy, is something wrong?”

“He acts like he’s 80. He turned 44 and thinks he’s on his deathbed. It’s making me nuts. Now he’s looking for a new man for me. I’m going to kill him.”

“Ahhhh… I see. Midlife crisis. I’ve heard it sucks.”

“Promise me you’ll give us a good survey tonight.”

“I promise. Now cheer up or I’ll call you Jim.” Connor laughed all the way up the stairs. 

Jim almost ran into her and asked, “Have you seen Sandburg?”

“He was down talking to that new guy. You know the one that’s so hot. Maybe you should go check it out, Jimbo.”

“You are so full of shit.”

“Yup, that’s me. I was lying through my teeth.” Connor started to walk away. 

“Connor, is he really down there talking to him?”

“Yes. I just saw him. What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing.” Jim walked sadly over to his desk and Connor knew she was going to make him jealous over Sandy if it killed her. 

When Blair came back upstairs, Jim asked, “Having fun?”

“Having fun, what?”

“Connor told me.” Blair knew that Jim was angry. 

Blair glanced over to Connor’s desk and saw her laughing and knew she was doing something evil to Jim. 

“So? What of it?”

“You like him?”

Blair glanced at Connor again and smiled. He knew their friend was trying to make Jim jealous.”

“Are you about ready to go and pick up the kids. I have some errands to run. I’ll meet you at home.”

“Do you like him?”

“Well sure. Who doesn’t like him?”

“I mean; do you want to date him?”

“Jim, am I’m nuts or what? I thought you and I were an item. Are we not? Do you not love me anymore?”

“He can probably love you more.” Jim’s head was almost lying on the desk by this time, making Blair love him all the more. 

“I only want you to love me. Now go get the kids and make dinner. Okay?” Blair smiled his best smile and it worked. 

“Okay. I’ll see you at home. You are coming home, right?”

“Jim, I live there for crying out loud. Of course I’m coming home. Now get.” Jim got on the elevator and Blair waited for Connor to come to him. 

“Did he ask you about the cute new guy downstairs?”

“What cute new guy?” Blair asked. 

“There isn’t one, but he didn’t know. He was big time jealous.” Connor was howling with laughter. 

“He asked me if I wanted to date him and I almost fell on the floor laughing. You’re a demon, woman.” Blair was laughing with her as they walked down to the parking garage. 

“Do you really have errands?”

“Nope. Want to go and have coffee?” Blair smiled. 

“Okay and you can see what I have planned for tonight.”

“Sounds good. Maybe I could even miss dinner. That’ll make him insane.” 

“And you called me a demon. Then you’re the devil.” Giggling commenced and they walked to the coffee shop. 

As they talked and drank their coffee, a nice looking cop walked up to them and said, “Are you Detective Sandburg?”

“Yes, why?”

“I’m Detective Jason Mattley from Vice. I’ve heard a lot about your work and I admire it. I wondered if you wanted to go and have dinner with me?”

“Are you asking both of us?” Megan kicked him under the table. “Because I just know you aren’t asking me alone. If you know about me, you know who I’m with. He wouldn’t like it if I had dinner with you.” Blair glared at him. 

“So he tells you what to do?” 

Blair hated this cocky shit. But before he could answer Megan said, “He doesn’t have to. They love each other. Probably something you’re not familiar with.”

“Could I at least sit with the two of you and have coffee?”

“This is a free country, but don’t think this is a date.” Blair growled. 

The three of them sat and talked about Major Crime and Vice for the next three hours. Megan called Joel while in the restroom, but Blair hadn’t called Jim at all. 

As they talked Blair found out Jason was pretty nice. He was six years younger than Blair and they studied the same things in college. Blair wondered if they could perhaps be friends. He hoped. 

Blair got home at 7:30 that night and Jim already had the kids in bed. Linda was waiting for him also. 

“Hi. I was with Megan. Give me a second and we’ll go.” Blair headed toward their room and Jim said, “You were with Megan?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. We got coffee and then began talking and noticed we were late. We haven’t had much time together lately.” Blair walked through the doorway and started to undress. 

“Jump in the shower and I’ll get your clothes.” Jim pushed him into the bathroom and Blair smiled. Everything would be all right. Or at least Jim hoped so. 

The drive to Sullivan’s was quiet. Finally Blair reached over and held Jim’s hand. Jim pulled over to the side of the road and said, “I was so fucking scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of you leaving me. Blair you have no idea how gorgeous you are. Everyone looks at you with want. I worry all the time.” Jim laid his head on the steering wheel. 

“Jim, stop worrying. I’m with you. I love you. Now get us to Sullivan’s or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Will do, boss.” Jim smiled at his love and hoped that Blair still was. 

As they walked into their meeting room everyone yelled, “It’s about time.”

“Sorry. It was my fault. Connor forced me to drink coffee.” Blair teased. 

“Is that what he said? I think it was more like, please have coffee with me Meggie. Please.”

Everyone laughed except Jim. For some reason he was upset and didn’t know why.

Connor: Tonight’s going to be big fun, girls and boys. Get ready to laugh. Now I’m going to saw these slogans and you all tell me who they remind you of. There are 160 of them, so we’ll no doubt have to put them into two surveys. Ready?

Everyone: Ready. 

 

Connor: 1) Cover your stump before you hump 

Joel: Well this is probably all of us. I would think anyhow. 

Simon: I guess…

Sully: Why do you say that, Si? 

Simon: Because we don’t use them. 

Sully: Oh yeah. DUH!

Rafe: Same here. 

Connor: Let me go out and get next weeks then. Hang on. (She runs out and runs right back in.) Okay, here we go. (Without missing a beat.)

 

63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop

 

Connor: 1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

 

Jim: I’d take him to jail right then.

Joel: Same here. Don’t think this is very funny, Meggie.

Simon: I agree with them. 

Rafe: I think it’s funny.

Brown: Me too. 

Blair: I think it’s a riot. I still would take them to jail, but I would be smiling. 

Sully: I think it’s funny. I might use it someday. 

Simon: No. You. Won’t.

Sully: I love when you go all cave man on me. 

Dan: I don’t think this ones funny because of all of the drunk driving deaths I have to deal with. 

Sam: I bet. 

Simon: Next?

 

Connor: 2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

 

Blair: Now this is funny. 

Rafe: It is funny, Hairboy. 

Brown: I love to speed, does anyone else?

(Everyone looked at Jim.)

Jim: So I guess I must like to speed.

Simon: To say the least. 

Sully: But Simon never speeds. 

Sam: Both Danny and I have lead feet. 

Blair: I bet that’s hard to walk and drive with. (Howling)

(Everyone breaks out in laughter except for Jim. Thankfully, no one notices.)

Joel: I like to speed and so does Meggie. 

Simon: Okay, we can run to the next one, Connor.

 

Connor: 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

 

Blair: Cops are intimidated by handicaps. 

Rafe: Takes one to know one, Sandburg. (Laughing.)

Brown: It’s okay, Sandburg, don’t cry. 

Jim: Leave him the fuck alone. (Jim jumps up and leaves the room.)

Connor went over to Blair and said, “Does he know about the jerk at the coffee shop?”

“No. And he wasn’t such a jerk as the night went on. Do you think?”

“Sandy, you are not leaving Jim.”

“I’m not, Connor. I love him.”

“Oh fuck, you want that guy. Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

“That would be nice.” Blair teased. 

Jim stood outside the room and leaned his head back. Now he knew for sure. He just had to know who it was. 

Jim walked into the room and sat down. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing, I’m just getting started.”

Rafe yelled across the table. “Hey Sandburg, someone was asking about you today. Did he find you? His name was Jason Mattely.”

“Yeah, he ran into Connor and I at the Coffee shop.”

Jim looked down at Connor and saw she seemed upset about it and that upset him. 

“So what did he want?” Sully asked. 

Blair: He just wanted to meet Jim and me. He was a nice guy, wasn’t he Connor?

Connor: If you say so. I thought he was an arrogant fucking jerk.

Joel: Meggie, you shouldn’t say things like that about people.

Sam: So Blair was he interested in you?

Blair: I was with Connor Sam.

Sully: You didn’t answer. Was he interested in you?

Blair: Connor, do you think he was?

Connor: I’m getting a drink. Anyone else need one?

Simon: So are we going to do the survey or not? Cuz there’s a game on tonight. Anyone want to watch with me?

Everyone: No. 

Sam: So Jim, you’ve been very quiet. I take it you’re picking up on some of this. How does it make you feel? And why don’t you ask Blair some things?

Jim: Fine, you asked for it. I love Blair to death, but I can’t keep him happy. He keeps looking at other people two weeks ago it was a woman cop and this week it’s that Jason guy. He deserves to be with someone that can satisfy him and make him feel better than he ever has.

Blair: You are so full of shit. I’ve never fucked around on you.

Jim: I never said you did. You look. And someday it’ll be more than looking. 

Simon: Jim, you sound like you already gave up.

Jim: Simon, I can’t keep him happy. So why not let him go where he wants. 

The door opened and Jason Mattely walked in. Jim knew this because Blair’s heart skyrocketed to the ceiling. 

Jason: Hi, Blair was telling me about these meetings and I thought I’d have a drink and join you. Plus I wanted to meet Ellison. 

He walked over and stuck his hand out. “Good to finally meet you, Ellison.”

Jim shook his hand and then looked away. 

Simon finally said, “This is the problem Mattely; we don’t like doing these with strangers. So you wouldn’t be welcome.”

Jason: Oh, I get it. You’re afraid that Blair will choose me over Ellison. I understand.

Blair: It might be a good time to leave.

Jim: Pull up a chair. You can stay.

Jason: Thank you, Jim. That’s real white of you. 

Simon: Pardon me???????

 

Connor: Ways to piss off a cop.

5\. Ask if you can see his gun.

 

Jason: That sort of stupid isn’t it?

Joel: Shut up and leave then. (Glaring at Blair.)

Blair: The idea is to take stupid ideas and make them funny. We usually have a very good time. 

Sully: Yes, usually being the key word. 

Sam: I agree. 

Dan: I might do this one day. 

Jason: And you may be arrested. 

Rafe: Are you always this fucking serious?

Jason: Pretty much. 

Brown: Well, we rarely are. So get a grip. As long as it’s not on Brian Rafe. He’s taken. 

Rafe kissed Brown and Jason said, “I didn’t know you two were an item.”

Rafe: And we would care, why? 

Brown: Good one, baby. 

Sully: I like this one about the gun. The cop might even laugh. 

Jason: I’m telling you, he wouldn’t laugh and might shoot you. 

Simon: Are you threatening my wife?

Jason: No sir. Not at all. We all need to be careful about what we say. Blair what do you think? 

Blair: I think my head is spinning and I need a drink. 

Jason: What do you drink? I’ll go and get it for you. 

Jim: We’ll go together. Come on, big Jase. 

Jason: Sure. 

They stood at the bar and he said, “I wouldn’t mind a threesome, Jim. I think you’re hot for an old guy.”

“Listen here you little fucker. You’re not getting him. He’s mine. He belongs to me and I’ll never let him go. Stay away from him. You’ll leave right now and never come back. Do I make myself clear? 

The bartender brought Blair’s drink and Jason grabbed it and ran for the room. Jim knew he was going to be busy between the two. _Like I need this fucking shit._

Jason: Here you go, Blair. 

Blair: How old are you anyway?

Jason: 26

Blair: I feel so old. 

Jason: Your partner is old, you aren’t. You’re hot.

Rafe: Mattely, did you forget we were in the room? Shut the fuck up and get away from Ellison’s man. 

Brown: You have no idea how much they love each other. 

Jason: So that’s why he was having coffee with me for three hours? 

Blair: I thought you could be a good friend. A person can always use a new friend. And I don’t mean sexually. Right Connor? 

Connor: Sandy, you were giving off vibes.

Blair: Vibes? 

Connor: You were giving off vibes of how attractive you thought he was. 

Jason: You were.

Jim: Well, you are attractive. I’d fuck ya. Would you like to go outside? 

Jason: I don’t fuck in parking lots. 

Jim: I wasn’t going to fuck you. I was going to kill you and then my friends here would help me hide the body. That’s what good friends do. 

Jason: You don’t scare me Ellison. You’re old. 

Blair: He’s not fucking old. He’s fucking young. He’s a stud. He’s more man than you could ever hope to be. I love him dearly. 

Jason: Then why, were you spending time with me?

Simon: Good question, Sandburg. 

Blair: Because I thought he was nice. I thought it would be fun just to flirt a little but then I realized all I would lose. It lost its appeal. Simon, I love Jim more than you’ll ever know. 

Jason: Well what did you think he was going to say? 

Connor: We’re all going to ask some questions and Sandy is going to answer them for us. Ready? 

Jason: Why do you call him Sandy? 

Connor: None of your business, dickhead.

Joel: Good one, baby. 

Connor: Sandy, how do you like to wake up in the morning?

Blair blushed and looked at Jim. “Do you mind if I say this?”

Jim: Go for it.

Blair: He wakes me up almost every morning with either a blowjob or a tongue fucking. What a way to start the day. And I have to say, he’s really good. 

Joel: Do you ever watch him in the bullpen and fall in love all over again?

Blair: All the time. He’s so serious most of the time, that when he lets his guard down, I want to just kiss him right there. 

Everyone smiled, including Jim. He knew Blair wasn’t going to leave him. 

Rafe: How do you feel when he gets pissed off at us when we tease you? 

Blair: Like one of the most cherished people in the world. He loves me so much and everyone knows it. Blair leaned into him and kissed him. 

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. 

Brown: Sandburg, do you want anyone else? 

Blair: No. Never. I love him. 

Jason: You’re so full of shit. 

Blair: I may be, but I’m going to be sleeping with him tonight and not you. I was hoping to become friends. You want more and I can’t give it to you. 

Sully: How does Jim make you feel? 

Blair: Like I’m the only person in the world. He loves me no matter what I do. He forgives me for being human. He watches me through the eyes of a lover. He makes me feel alive. I love you so much, Jim. 

Jim had tears in his eyes as he kissed his man. “I love you too, Chief.”

Sam: I love these types of nights. Blair, do you think you would be the same type of person without Jim? 

Blair: Never. He not only loves me, but makes me feel like I’m the strong one most of the time. He helped me raise children. I never would have done that alone. He helped me get through so of the toughest times in my life and feel stronger for it. (Blair put his face in his hands and began to cry.)

Jim: Come here baby. (Jim took him into his arms and held on for dear life.)

Jason looked at the two men and realized; he lost. He had lost before he even began. Getting up quietly, he left the room. 

Everyone smiled when they saw him leave. 

Jim: I think Blair has had enough for tonight.

Dan: Jim, can I ask him something?

Blair: Sure. 

Dan: Have you ever wanted to fuck anyone else? 

Blair: No. I’ve wanted to make Jim jealous. But never wanted them to fuck me or me to fuck them. I have Jim. What would be the purpose?

Jim: (Smiling.) Thanks, Chief.

Blair: You have no idea how well you fuck. You have no idea how well you love. You have no idea what a beautiful person you are. So I’m here to tell you. You do, you do and you are. 

Jim: (Kissing Blair.) I love you so much. 

Connor: My work here is done. Get that man to bed. 

Laughter broke out and they all began their hugs before leaving. 

Another fantastic night at Sullivan’s Pub and it had to start out a little angsty to get where they needed to be. 

After Jim and Blair left, Connor held up her glass and said, “Long Live Jim and Blair.”

Everyone: Here, here. 

End Sullivan’s Pub Part 82


	83. What Makes Sullivan's Tick?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Blair are on stakeout and won’t be able to go to Sullivan’s. They decide to have their own in the SUV.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 83  
What Makes Sullivan’s Tick?  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 09/11/04  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Very sweet one ahead. 

Story Notes: Trying something a little different now. 

 

Summary: Jim and Blair are on stakeout and won’t be able to go to Sullivan’s. They decide to have their own in the SUV.

Warnings: m/m Bad language as usual.  
==============================================  
Sullivan’s Pub Part 83  
What Makes Sullivan’s Tick?  
Patt

 

“I can’t believe he put us on stakeout. He knew this was Sullivan’s night. Goddamn it anyhow.” 

“Jim, why are you fussing? You’re not that wild about those survey’s anyway.”

“I think we should have our own survey while we’re in the SUV.” Jim suggested. 

“That’s a great idea. I’m in.”

“Blair, you’re not in. I would have felt it.”

“Oh ha… ha… ha…” Blair giggled. 

As they drove to the stakeout, they were very quiet. Both men were thinking of their friends and how they felt about them.

Parking down the road, Jim could see that he had a good view to the house they were going to watch. “I can see this well Chief. How about you?”

Blair put his binoc’s on and said, “Perfect. Just like you.”

“We’re working Chief. Let’s keep this professional.”

“Spoilsport. So I guess you sucking me off is out of the question?” Blair teased. 

“Ask me in about four hours. I might be ready to get wild by then.” Jim teased back. 

“So Jim, let me ask you some questions about our friends.”

“Hit me.” Jim laughed when Blair smacked his chest. 

“How do you feel about Simon? Do you think he’s as cold as he appears most of the time?”

“Chief, he’s not cold. Just afraid to show his emotions. He loves both of us so much and hugs me so tight that sometimes I think he’ll break a rib.”

“I agree. Remember on Drake Birthday and we thought you were dead?”

“I can’t seem to forget that.”

“Well, Simon cried numerous times and he was so sad. He never got over it. I realized then how close you two were. I’m glad he’s your best friend. I love him too.”

“Blair, you’re my best friend.”

“Thanks. You’re mine too. I love you.”

“Working. We’re working…”

“Stick in the mud. Stick in mud. Boring…” Blair was laughing from Jim’s fingers digging into his sides. 

“Chief, what do you think of Sully?”

“I adore her. I truly think she’s one of the kindest people in the world. Did I remember to tell you about the day I went to pick the kids up and she was there?”

“I don’t think so babe.”

Blair looked through his binoc’s and continued, “She was telling the teacher how proud she was to have such beautiful, intelligent and loving nieces and nephews. She went on to hug all of them before she left and told them how much she loved them. When she walked out she had tears in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she said it was only the fact that they grow up too fast. She didn’t want to miss a thing. Now that is what you call loving and sweet.”

“You’re right, babe. She’s a beautiful person. I swear she saved Simon. Have you watched him with his children? She’s done a good job raising all of them.” Both men laughed. 

Blair looked over at Jim and asked, “Do I have to look through these stupid things all the time?”

Laughing Jim kissed his lover and said, “But I love when you use them. They turn me on.”

Blair put them back up to his face and began to look at Jim. “Oh baby, your cock needs to come out for me to see. Open up those pants.”

“Blair, we’re working.”

“Stick in the mud!”

“I’ll stick it in you when we get home, deal?”

“Deal. You drive a hard bargain.” Blair wiggled his eyebrows.

“Well I sure hope so. If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t go in.” Jim kissed Blair again, ignoring the fact they were working. 

Laughing Blair asked, “So babe, what do you think of Simone and Matthew?”

“Blair, you have to ask? I love both of them. They’re precious. That little Matthew is a doll baby isn’t he?” Jim asked.

“Oh yeah. And I love to watch Sully and Simon with them. They’re such good parents, aren’t they?” Blair smiled. 

“Oh yeah. They make a nice looking family and I’m glad they’re our friends.”

Blair heard a hoarseness in his lovers voice and became alarmed. “Jim, what’s wrong?”

“I know this sounds dumb, but some times I think about our friends and get chocked up. I love them all so much.”

“I love you, man. You’re a good lover, best friend to not only me, but everyone else.” Blair kissed him this time. 

“I love you back, baby. You will never know how much I love you. I couldn’t begin to show or tell you.”

“Then just keep doing it like you’re doing. I love you, babe.”

“I saw Dan yesterday at work and he grabbed me in front of all of his co-workers and hugged me. Told me he had missed me and we began to talk about the last five days. And I realized what a good man he was. He didn’t care what people in his department thought about him hugging a gay man. Then he asked me how you were. I loved him even more. I think he’s one of the best people we know besides Joel.”

“I think you’re right, man. I love Dan too. And talk about great with kids, is he wonderful or what? I saw him four days ago with Tristan at the store and they didn’t see me. He was throwing him up in the air and telling him he couldn’t catch him. The two of them were just howling. It was so fucking cute. Then two days later I saw him with the twins at the drugstore and he picks them up one at a time and did the same thing he did with Trissy. But what was funny is what he said. He told both of them they were going to college, they had to find someone they loved that had a little money in the bank and they were going to be happy. It just cracked me up. They’re two.”

“That’s our Dan. Those kids are just beautiful aren’t they?”

“Oh yeah.” Blair agreed. “Oh and Tristan is being talked into Med school.”

“Talk about pressure. He’s only 4.” Jim laughed. 

“And Sam is one of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen. Her skin is like soft cream and the freckles are great. Then there is her being a redhead, eh? Both you and I used to love them.”

“True enough. Not anymore.” Jim moved closer to Blair and continued to stare at the house. 

Blair snuggled into Jim and kissed his chest.

“Chief, we can’t. I just wanted to cuddle a little bit.”

“Okay. Cuddle it is. On to Rafe and Brown. Did you think they were going to be a couple from the start?”

“Hell no. I didn’t think they would even keep being partners at work, half the time.” Jim answered. 

“They sure made up for it. When Rafe fooled around with the Looney toon bitch, I was scared they were done for. But they both seem to have come out of it stronger.”

“I think so too. Rafe is wild about Brown, but he doesn’t want anyone to know at work. He’s a very private person.” Jim exclaimed.

“Do you think they’re happy, Jim?”

“Yeah, I do. Especially Henri. He seems to love everything about their life.”

“I agree. And Lancy and Remmey are just precious.” Blair smiled thinking of them. 

“I swear Lancy gets prettier every single week. And talk about tall. Whoa. She’s so much taller than Drake that it’s giving him a complex.” Jim added. 

“She is beautiful and tall. Her parents must have been tall, ya think?”

“Chief I told her she was tall and she said, “Like my Daddy?” and I was so blown away. She doesn’t think of him as her adoptive Daddy, just her Daddy.” 

“That’s cute.”

“Remmey reminds me of Rayney. They’re quiet and just plain precious. What do you think? Oh wait, I have to put Trissy in that list too.”

Blair was looking through the binoc’s again and Jim smiled. “Chief what are you looking for?”

“I think I saw a Grandfather Clock in the entryway. I’ve always wanted one for our house. Let’s case this joint.” Blair pulled his binoc’s down and saw a look of love on Jim’s face. “You love me, don’t you?”

“You could say that.”

“I did say that.” Blair slid over closer to Jim. 

Jim started to rub Blair’s cock through his jeans. He was going ever so slowly and softly that it would take a long time to get an actual orgasm out of him. 

“Back to our friends. I think Joel is who everyone would like to have as his or her Dad. I’d like to have him as my Dad. He’s one of the kindest souls and has always loved us unconditionally. I swear; he makes me want to write up adoption papers.” Jim laughed, but Blair knew he was serious. 

“Jim, if you keep this up we’re going to have to be naughty while on duty.”

“Do you want me to keep it up?”

“Yes and no. We don’t want something to happen and not be on alert. Right?” Blair asked. 

“I have a proposition. You watch through your binoc’s and I’ll make you feel really good.”

“I like that idea Jim.”

Jim slid Blair out of his jeans and began to rub his chest and nipples. Jim smiled at the sounds coming out of Blair’s mouth. The larger man, moved his hand down until he cupped Blair’s wonderful balls and began to massage them. 

Blair continued to look through the binoc’s and Jim almost laughed. He chose that moment to go down on his and sucked hard. Jim slid a finger in Blair’s sweet, hot hole and began to suck harder. Blair came with a small scream. 

“Feel better, baby?”

“Oh yeah. Man, you’re good for me.” Blair almost melted into Jim’s body and Jim took over watching the house. 

“Chief, get dressed. They’re on the move.”

“Fuck…”

“Not now. When we’re through for the night.” Jim said laughing as Blair was trying to dress quickly. 

When Jim put his siren on he glanced over and saw Blair was hard again. “Again?”

“I get horny when you use your lights.” Blair said sheepishly. 

Jim burst out laughing and found himself getting hard too. What a way to make an arrest. 

Finally dressed, he got out to help with the arrest and the evening flew by fairly quickly. When they got home at 3:00 in the morning, Linda was sound asleep on the sofa. They covered her up and went into their room. Blair heard Jim lock the door and he said, “You don’t have to do that. I’m all worn out, baby.”

“Well, I’m not. Get your sweet ass in that bed.”

Blair ran and almost jumped in, for much needed sex with his man Jim. They tried not to be too loud since Linda was in the next room, but Jim found it impossible to stay silent, once he slid into Blair fantastic body. The moaning and panting couldn’t be held in any longer. 

Linda woke to the sound of the boys having a very good time. She realized she was going to have to find a man. Maybe she could ask the boys if they knew anyone. 

The boys took a shower and went to bed, dreaming of many more nights, just like this. Life was very fucking good. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 83  
PattRose@cox.net


	84. We Believe in Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim takes all three of the kids shopping for their Poppy. Christmas will never be the same again.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 84  
We Believe in Miracles  
Patt

Authors Note: This story is going to be in the My Mongoose Christmas Ezine and on my Sullivan’s Pub Page. 

Summary: Jim takes all three of the kids shopping for their Poppy. Christmas will never be the same again. 

This is a Christmas story from the Sullivan’s Pub Series. I will put the link if you care to read more about them. Its very angsty and sad, but it turns out well. 

Story Notes: Jim is with Blair, and they have three children. Drake, Jade and Rayne.

Simon is married to Sully who owns Sullivan’s Pub, and they have two children. Simone and Matthew.

Dan Wolfe is married to Sam, sister of Sully, and they have three children. Tristan, Shannon and Dakota.

Rafe and Brown are a couple and have two children. Delancy and Remington. 

Connor married Joel and they have three children. Ellison (Ellie), Mason and Mallory.

Acknowledgments: Mary thank you for everything you do for me. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 84  
We Believe in Miracles  
Patt

 

“Jim, are you okay to go shopping with the kids tonight?” Blair inquired as he typed into his computer. 

“Chief, I’ve managed our kids before. Go with Connor and have a good time. We have to to shop for you anyhow.” Jim smiled over at his partner and love of his life. 

“Thanks, hot stuff. I’m so keyed up about this movie. She wanted to see it too and I knew you didn’t.”

“Not a big deal, Chief. I’m heading out. Talk to you later.” Jim wanted to bend over so badly and kiss him but even het couples weren’t allowed to do that in the bullpen. 

“Have fun with the kiddy’s. Take them to dinner first.”

“Yes, boss.” Jim laughed all the way to the elevator. 

That evening while they sat in a booth at Denny’s, Jade asked, “Daddy, what are we going to get Poppy for Christmas?”

“What would you like to get him? Drake, do you have any good ideas?” Jim suggested. 

“I know what he wants. A new car. Could we get him a new car?” Drake asked. 

“That’s a little out of our league, Drake.”

“It could be a little one, Daddy.” Jade suggested. 

“We’ll find some perfect things for him.” Jim smiled at his family and was overflowing with happiness. 

Rayne pushed her plate closer to Jim and said, “Done… Daddy…”

“You sure are. Did you just hear your little sister say that?” Jim was so proud. 

“Daddy, she talks to Poppy all the time. You should hear her.” Drake explained. 

“Oh.” A defeated Jim said quietly. 

“But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, Daddy.” Jade said quickly. 

“Lub you daddy.” Rayne said clear as a bell. Jim cheered right up and laughed with Jade and Drake. He loved being a Father. His life was truly complete. 

“Are we going to sit here all night, Daddy?” Drake whined. 

“No, as soon as Jadey is done, we’ll leave.” Jim said patiently. 

“I’m done.” Jade jumped out of the booth and ran for the door. 

“Jade, stay with us.” Jim yelled. 

“Daddy, I’ll wait by the truck.”

“Drake, stay with Rayne for a moment, please?” Jim asked. 

“Sure. Go whoop her good, Daddy.” Drake laughed. 

Jim got out to the parking lot and found Jade. “When I say stay with me, I mean it. The next time you’re going to be grounded with no Christmas. Do you understand?” Jade had never seen her Daddy this angry and it scared her. 

“Yes, I understand, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just stay with me from now on.”

“Okay. Let’s go get Drake and Rayne.” Jade suggested. 

“Good thinking.” When they walked in Drake was standing with Rayne by the cash register.

Jim grabbed her and told Drake, “Thank you, little man.”

“I was thinking, Daddy, I’m seven now. Will you and Poppy stop calling me little man?” 

“Sure.” Jim was devastated. He knew they had to grow up, but this was too fast. 

Drake sat in the front seat on the way to the Mall. He whispered, “Daddy have you noticed that Jade doesn’t care about penises anymore?”

Jim smiled over at him and quietly answered, “Sure did. It’s great, isn’t it?”

“Sure is.” Drake put his hand in Jim’s and just sat that way until they arrived at the Mall.

“Who’s ready to shop for Poppy?” Jim called out. 

Rayne sweetly said, “Me. Me. Me.”

They all laughed. “Daddy, she’s so smart for being a baby.” Jade wanted Jim to know. 

“She sure is. She got it from her big sister and brother.”

“Cool. Let’s go.” Drake pulled the stroller out and brought it to Jim. 

“Now, no one leaves my side, correct?” Jim said sternly. 

“Yes, we know. Geeze, Daddy we aren’t babies anymore.” Jade said rolling her eyes. 

“Keep rolling those eyes back and they’re going to get stuck.” Jim teased. 

Jade and Drake burst out laughing.

They looked in four stores and found some nice things. Jim had them pick out wrapping paper and then they would have them delivered to the house. No bother with carrying around packages. He had to pay extra since it was Christmas eve day. 

Jim knelt down beside Rayne and said, “How you doing, my precious?”

Rayne started smacking his face and then she licked it. Jim laughed along with Drake and Jade. 

Jim and Drake were looking at a beautiful set of leather bound books when Jade yelled, “Oh… I think I saw Lancy. I’ll be right back.” She took off so fast; Jim couldn’t react fast enough. 

“Drakey, could you watch Rayne while I get Jade? I have to find her.” Jim was frantic. 

“Go Daddy.” And Jim did. He took off running across the mall listening for Jade. The building was so full of activity and the noises and scents were obstructing his job. He was on the edge of panic when he heard her little voice. “Do you know where my Daddy is? I’m lost.”

A startled Jade jumped, when Jim picked her up. “Daddy, I couldn’t find you. I was lost. You’re right. I shouldn’t leave you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby. Let’s get back to Drake and Rayne.” Jim sensed something was wrong and began to run. His heart was beating way too hard, and he knew it was urgent. 

They walked into the store and there were cops talking to Drake. 

“I’m Detective Ellison and I’m his Dad. Drake, what’s wrong?” Jim asked his son as he looked around for Rayne.

“A lady took Rayney, Daddy. I tried to stop her. I tried.” Drake went into Jim’s arms and began to cry. Jim looked at the cop and said, “Did they lock down the Mall?”

“Yes, we did right away. They have to be in here. We just don’t know where. If we post someone with your children, would you like to help us look?”

“Yes.”

“No, Daddy. Don’t leave us.” Drake cried. 

“I have to find Rayney. We need her in our family, right?” Jim asked both of them. 

Jim pulled out his cell phone and dialed Connor. “Connor.” She whispered. 

“Connor, please don’t freak Blair out in the middle of the theater, but someone took Rayne. _Like this news wouldn’t freak him out._ I need you to stay with Jade and Drake while I help look. There in the Borders Book Store on the second floor and an Officer will be with them. But we also need some cops to help out here. Do you think you can do this fast?” Jim finally took a breath. 

“We’ll be right there.” She hung up and grabbed Blair out of his seat in the theater. “Emergency, come on.”

She called Simon, Rafe, Brown, Joel and Dan and asked them to meet at the mall, pronto. 

“Connor, do you think they took her for money?”

“I don’t know, Sandy. There has been no contact yet.”

“Fuck… I’m so scared.” Blair looked out the window and hoped that someone was looking down from Heaven tonight. Jim wouldn’t survive this. He just wouldn’t. They could sure use a miracle. 

When they arrived, everyone else was there too. A nice Policeman took them all inside and they were going to join the search. 

Blair saw Jim talking to some cops and he started running towards him. He didn’t care if they called them fags. He wanted his baby girl. He wanted his family in tact. He wanted his lover’s arms around him. 

Jim turned and opened up his arms easily. They just held on to each other and spoke words of love. 

“Jim, can you hear her?”

“No, my senses are offline.”

“Get em back on then.”

“Chief, it doesn’t work that way.”

Blair pulled Jim’s face around and said, “You either get them back, or we lose our baby girl. Do you want to lose our baby?”

“Chief, all I hear are Jade and Drake crying. I need to talk to them.” Jim started running off and went up the stairs. 

Blair walked off and began to help searching for Rayne. _Please god, please._

When Jim got in the store, Simon and Megan were trying to calm his children. Jade noticed him first. “Daddy, please don’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Jade. I love you, baby. Drake come over here. I adore you, too.” The three of them held each other and cried a little. Jim knew he had to do this for his other children before he could go and assist in finding Rayne. 

“Jade, if I go and find Rayne, will you be all right with Uncle Simon and Auntie Megan?”

“Yes. Please find her Daddy.” Jade said tearfully. 

“How about you, Drake? Do you mind if I leave you for a while and find Rayne?”

“Go now, Daddy. Bring her back to us.” Drake hugged Jim fast and shoved him out the door. 

“Thank you, Megan and Simon. I owe you a great deal.” A sad Jim Ellison rushed down the stairs. 

One of the cops he had met earlier walked up to him and said, “Anything I can do to help?”

“You can have them shut down most of the lights and all of the holiday music. It’s distracting me.” Jim said calmly. 

“You really are a Sentinel aren’t you? Your secret is safe with all of us. We wouldn’t ever say anything. I’ll go and take care of the music and lights. Good luck, Ellison.” Martin took off in a run. 

“Thank you, Martin.” Jim called out to the smiling Officer. 

Jim hoped that Rayne was still in this huge building. He hoped that he would be able to block everyone out, but Rayne. He hoped she was alive. He hoped Blair would help him. He hoped Blair wouldn’t leave him if anything did happen. 

The Sentinel standing in the mall, normally sure of himself, was a mess. He wasn’t sure of himself at all. 

 

Jim heard his favorite sound in the entire world and smiled. “Chief, can you help me?”

“You know I can and you know I will. We need to focus on her scent, her sounds and her heartbeat.” Blair was Guiding. 

Just then the lights went down and the music stopped. “Does that make it easier, Jim?”

Jim raised his head and listened and found her little heartbeat. He smiled at Blair and said, “She’s this way.”

Jim took off running; followed by Blair, with all of the other Officers close behind. Jim slowed down listening for his baby once more and kicked a door in. 

“Stay back or I’ll hurt her.” A young woman was holding Rayne and Jim had no doubt that she would hurt their precious darling. 

Rayne chose that moment to scream her lungs out and Jim with his senses all on high, hit the floor holding his ears. The woman dropped rain onto the cement floor and everyone heard a loud crack.

No more sounds came from Rayne. Blair rushed to her side and found her still breathing but she didn’t look good at all. Rafe talked Jim out of a zone while Blair was doing his thing with his little girl. Jim got up and thanked Rafe for helping and went to pick her up and Rafe said, “Jim, she might have something broken. Wait for the EMT’s.”

“Right. Thanks again, Rafe.” Jim turned toward Blair and thought he had never seen his lover as scared in his life. That made two of them. 

“Jim, there is blood coming from her ears.” Blair shook as he spoke. 

“She might have a skull fracture. That’s one of the symptoms. We don’t want to move her or lift her. They’ll take good care of her Chief.” Jim was trying to be the calm one. 

While the Officers were cuffing the woman and reading her, her rights, Jim was thinking she really didn’t deserve them. In fact once Jim got up and Blair knew he was going to kill the woman. It took four officers to take Jim down. 

Brown yelled, “Ellison, what are you doing?”

Jim yelled back, “She broke my baby.” Blair went into Jim’s arms and cried. 

“Guys, get her out of here. We need to clear this area.” Joel ordered. “Jim and Blair, don’t you worry. She’ll be just fine.”

“Man, do you think she’s really broken?” Blair asked miserably. 

“Chief, we’ll see what the doctor says. She’s breathing, that’s all that important right now.” It was the Sentinel trying to assure his Guide. 

When the EMT’s got there, Jim and Blair went with them in the Ambulance. Simon watched from above and knew this might get ugly. 

At the hospital, Jim and Blair paced while they waited for Dr. Mason. He was almost like a friend to them and they wanted him to treat Rayne. 

“Hi guys.” Dr. Mason said as he walked in the room. 

“Do you know what’s wrong yet?” Jim said quickly. Blair was quietly waiting for an answer. 

“Fairly certain that it’s a Skull Fracture. But we need to take the skull x-rays, but they may be difficult to see, so we’ll order a CT scan of her little head with focus on bones.” Dr. Mason explained. “Normally, it gets a little swollen, but then the swelling goes down and they’ll wake up. We’ll give her some time and see how she does.”

“Thanks, doc. “ Blair smiled for the first time that night. 

“Boys, go on home and be with your other children. We’ll take good care of Rayne.” 

“I’ll wait here. Blair can go home first. All right Chief?”

“Fine.” A dejected Guide walked away from the room and didn’t look back. 

Dr. Mason suggested, “I think you should catch up to him and say something nice. He looked pretty heartbroken.”

“I’ll be back directly.” Jim took off like a shot. 

“Chief, slow down.”

“Why? You don’t want me here anyhow.”

“You know I want you here, but one of us has to go home.” Jim countered. 

“I think it’s because she’s your natural daughter. It makes a difference.”

“Chief, I’m staying here because it’s my fault. I feel so fucking guilty. And I want to be home too. Could you bring the kids up here if they say we can?” Jim looked like he was 15 when he asked this of his Guide. 

“I’ll go see about it now. Go stay with our littlest one.” Blair kissed him quickly and took off down the hall. 

“Chief, I love you.”

“And I love you big man.” Blair smiled all the way out to the truck. 

When he got back to the room they were taking Rayne to x-ray and Jim went along. He was a worried wreck. One of the nurses kept flirting with him, but he didn’t even notice. Dr. Mason did.

“Kim, I think you should leave Detective Ellison alone. He’s married.”

“Oh, sorry.” Kim leaned into Jim and this time he smelled her pheromones. 

“Get off of me. I’m very married and he’ll kick your ass.” 

“Why are all of the cute ones gay?” Kim asked smiling. 

“Because we’re lucky?” Dr. Mason said quietly and Jim laughed. He didn’t know Dr. Mason was gay. Small world. 

At the booking station, the woman who hurt Rayne was sitting on a bunk daydreaming about her man. He would come to her soon enough. She knew he didn’t want that fag. Her man was perfect. Her man gave her a beautiful daughter and it would be straightened out soon. 

She had no idea that she wouldn’t be out of the mental institution for a long, long while. 

The guard walked by and saw her daydreaming. He wondered what the loon was thinking about. If only the walls could talk. 

 

Blair stopped at the desk on the way out and asked about the kids. 

He looked at her badge and asked, “Hi Beth, would it be all right if we brought out two children up to spend Christmas Eve with their little sister? They are six and seven.” 

“I’m sorry Mr. Sandburg. It’s not allowed. They’re just not old enough.” Beth said nicely. 

“Well, I tried. Thanks.” Blair walked out the door and knew Jim would be upset. 

Driving up into the driveway, Blair shut off the car and waited to see if drapes opened. Sure enough they did and two sweethearts came flying out the door to great him. 

“Poppy.” Jade flew into his arms. “It’s Christmas Eve, and we need you here.”

“She’s right, Poppy. Call Daddy and tell him to bring Rayne home.” Drake seemed even more upset than Jade. 

“Sit down kids. I have some things to tell you.”

“We’re sitting.” Drake announce, almost making Blair laugh. 

“Daddy has to stay at the hospital, because the lady that took her, hurt her. Rayne’s really sick. So we need to keep good thoughts going Rayne’s way. We’ll celebrate Christmas when they come home. All right?”

Both kids sat on his lap and started to cry. Blair looked at Simon and asked, “Could you call Jim and tell him they won’t let kids in the hospital?”

“Sure.”

Blair took the kids into his bed and they all fell asleep. Simon woke him some minutes later and said, “Sandburg, he’s down in x-ray. So I asked them to have him call you. Is that good?”

“It’s fine, Simon. Thank you for everything. Go home and get some sleep. You’ll have a wonderful Christmas tomorrow.” Blair opened the door and as Simon passed, he saw the tears. 

“Blair, she’ll be fine.”

“I know she will. I’m just scared. Now go. I have to sleep with the kids.” Blair locked up and joined his children for what would probably be a rough night. 

The phone rang at 2:00 a.m. “Sandburg.”

“Ellison.”

“Very funny. How is she?”

“The doctor said she has a concussion is all. No skull fracture. Do you believe it? And she woke up and talked like mad. So the doctor is discharging her right now. Want us to come home for Christmas?”

“What do you think? I love you so much. Kiss Ray for me.”

“Ewww. You are not calling her Ray.” Jim ordered. 

“I think it’s sort of cute.”

“You would. How are Jade and Drake doing?”

“They cried for their Daddy tonight and their sleeping with me.”

“Better get them out if you want any fun stuff.” Jim laughed. 

“We have the rest of our lives for fun stuff. Tomorrow is Christmas. Do you believe in miracles, Jim?”

“You better believe it. You were my first one and then the kids. My life is a walking, talking miracle. And I thank god for it every day. “ Blair loved when Jim got mushy. 

“I’ll be here waiting for you, big man. Hurry up, but drive safe. I love you.”

“And I love you, Chief. I’ll be there soon. Merry Christmas.”

“Ho Ho Ho… Merry Christmas.” Blair giggled.

“Who are you calling a ho?” Jim laughed. 

“Tonight? No one. We have to be good. Bye lover.” 

“Bye, baby.” Jim hung the phone up and felt like a teenager in love. It was wonderful. He had a perfect life and wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

Blair sat by the window and waited for his man, just as he had promised. It was going to be a fantastic Christmas and he truly did believe in miracles, too. 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 84


	85. Who Am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JIM AND BLAIR FILL OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE
> 
>  
> 
> This one has a guest writer. Her name is Rebel.

Sullivan's Pub Part 85  
Who Am I?  
Guest Author: Rebel  
Author Email: REBEL8954@aol.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: J/B 

Status: Complete  
Date: 09/19/04  
Category: Drama/Humor   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: This is from my friend, Rebel and it's totally awesome. 

Story Notes: Anyone else want to have something on Sullivan's Pub? [g] I'm not above begging. 

 

Summary: JIM AND BLAIR FILL OUT A QUESTIONNAIRE

Warnings: m/m   
===================================================================  
Sullivan’s Pub Part 85  
Who Am I?  
Guest Author--Rebel

Simon Banks wearily leaned back in his chair and looked upwards at the ceiling. Receiving no indication of divine intervention, he sighed and looked through the windows of his office into the bullpen. 

'What in the name of Heaven possessed me to even THINK about sending Sandburg and Ellison to this conference?' Simon got up and poured himself a cup of coffee. Blissfully smiling at the aroma, he sipped and thought. 'Sandburg has to go because he's never attended as a detective. God knows everybody else has gone. Besides, even HE might get something out of a conference on Community and Media Relations. Good Lord! He might even wind up teaching it!'   
Simon eyed his newest detective with a jaundiced eye before sitting back down at his desk. 'And it's been a while since Ellison made an appearance at one of these things. Hope they've forgotten about the last time.' 

Confirming to himself that he'd made the correct decision in deciding to send both Sandburg and Ellison, he finished his coffee before reading the memo stapled to the file lying on the desk. 

 

'Dear Captain Banks. 

While I understand this sort of conference might not be exactly what your detectives expected when they joined the Cascade Police Department, it is necessary that each member of the CPD attend on a regular basis. 

Those involved with presenting this conference take these issues seriously. Please stress to your detectives they should attend this conference and consider the issues presented with just as serious an attitude. 

Please also remind them that a serious exchange of information and opinions should result in a calm discussion leading to a successful resolution of handling various Community and Media Relations. 

I would appreciate it if you would have your attending detectives revise the enclosed and return it to my attention immediately. The information received on these forms will help those running the conference to integrate those attending from the various City Departments in a social atmosphere to aid in obtaining an open and frank exchange of opinions during the three days of this conference. 

Thank you - Heidi Schlesser (Media Relations Dept.)' 

 

Simon grunted. 'Hmmm...a serious exchange of information and opinions should result in a calm discussion leading to a successful resolution of handling various Community and Media Relations. Guess they DO remember Ellison's last attendance.'   
Sighing, Simon flipped open the file and removed the two pieces of paper.   
Slowly, he began to chuckle. 

\-------------------------- 

WHO AM I? 

NAME - Blair Sandburg 

RANK - Detective, Major Crimes 

NICKNAME - I have many nicknames given to me by those I have met throughout my life including my mother, partner, friends at the CPD, friends I have made in places other than Cascade including those in foreign countries which I'm not sure can be translated into English. 

MY MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT - I'm not sure what information you're requesting. Are you wanting my most embarrassing moment as a child, adolescent, teenager, or adult? After all, what is embarrassing to a child might be humorous to an adult. Are you talking about personally embarrassing? Being embarrassed in front of others? An embarrassing physical event? Please clarify what information you need. I don't want to burden you with unnecessary personal trivial biographical data. Thank you. 

A SKILL I HAVE THAT IS NOT GENERALLY KNOWN - Please advise why I would wish to advertise a certain skill that is not generally known by others. If I wanted it known, wouldn't I have made it public is some fashion? Once it becomes known, then it's not a skill that is not generally known. Is this a trick question? 

THE MOST INTERESTING NEW YEAR'S EVE I EVER HAD WAS - Which New Year's Eve? Jewish New Year? Chinese New Year? The one celebrated on December 31st? Most cultures throughout the world celebrate a form of year ending and year beginning based upon their religion. I'm not certain this question is legal as you're not supposed to inquire as to a person's religion. Please remove this question. Thank you. 

MY PET PEEVE IS - I am working this out via therapy so this is covered under patient/doctor confidentiality. I'm very certain of my position on this because I've been in therapy since I was in diapers. 

MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND IS - Is this another trick question? After all, the attendees of this conference are mostly police officers. Given the nature of this closed society, you aren't likely to obtain answers that will give you any insight as to their inner selves. If you want, I can refer you to several good therapists who might be able to help you draft a better question. 

I'M BETTER THAN ANYONE WHEN IT COMES TO - Well, this is embarrassing. Could that be an answer to #4 above? However, I think I can state without reservation or ego that I'm very good at writing reports. I doubt I'm better than everyone else since that would be a subjective decision. It depends upon the type of report and the information required for each type of report. Nevertheless, I feel very good about my level of report writing. 

MY FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE - Are you referring to physical or mental? After all, one is just as important as the other. Considering how busy you must be in correlating all the data from the other participants of this conference, I don't want to give you a lot of unnecessary verbage. Just let me know at your convenience. 

AN ADJECTIVE THAT DESCRIBES YOU THAT BEGINS WITH ONE OF YOUR INITIALS - Busy. I stay very busy. Idle hands are the Devil's work as some say. But I personally don't believe that. It's my personal decision to stay busy, both physically and mentally. That's not going to be a problem during the conference, is it? 

AFTER REVIEWING THE ABOVE INFORMATION, WHO ARE YOU (IN 25 WORDS OR LESS) - How can anyone clearly state who they are in 25 words or less? Names, identification, numbers...they all illustrate who we are perceived to be. Any sort of answer to this question comes only after several years of intensive therapy, but I still don't feel qualified to answer this question. (Sorry about going over the 25 words thing). 

\------------------------------- 

WHO AM I? 

NAME - Ellison, James 

RANK - Detective, Major Crimes 

NICKNAME - Jim if you must but Detective is preferred 

MY MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT - That's on a need-to-know basis. You don't need to know. 

A SKILL I HAVE THAT IS NOT GENERALLY KNOWN - Classified information. Contact the US Army if you have questions. 

THE MOST INTERESTING NEW YEARS' EVE I EVER HAD - Classified information. All I can say is that it involved a rubber chicken, a ceiling fan, and orange marmalade. 

MY PET PEEVE IS - Ridiculous questionnaires. 

MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND IS - His ability to fill out ridiculous questionnaires. 

I'M BETTER THAN ANYONE WHEN IT COMES TO - A lot of things. 

MY FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE - Working out in the gym. 

AN ADJECTIVE THAT DESCRIBES YOU THAT BEGINS WITH ONE OF YOUR INITIALS - Justified 

AFTER REVIEWING THE ABOVE INFORMATION, WHO ARE YOU (IN 25 WORDS OR LESS) - James Ellison. Detective, Major Crimes. 

\--------------------------- 

"He-he-he-he." Simon chuckled as he wiped his glasses. Then he opened his desk drawer and pulled out a blank memo pad. Chuckling again, he wrote: 

 

'Dear Ms. Schlesser - 

I've reviewed the attached forms and fail to understand your complaint. The detectives in question have filled out the questionnaire honestly and to the best of their ability. 

Good luck on your conference. 

Sincerely, 

Capt. Simon Banks   
Major Crimes' 

 

Simon opened the door to his office. Walking across the bullpen, he laid the folder on Rhonda's desk. "Please see this gets out as soon as possible." 

Rhonda glanced at the memo and grinned. "I'll take it up myself in just a few minutes," she promised. 

Simon nodded, knowing Rhonda was dying to get a look at the contents of the folder. After all, Ellison had made everyone aware of his displeasure about the conference and the various forms associated with it. 

Simon looked across the bullpen to where Jim was leaning over Blair's shoulder. Both men were staring at the computer monitor as Blair rapidly moved the mouse back and forth. 

"He-he-he." 

Both Jim and Blair looked up, hearing Simon's chuckle. They watched their Captain chuckle all the way back to his office. 

"Do we want to know?" Blair asked, glancing at his partner. 

Jim shook his head. "Probably not." He heard muffled snickers and glanced across the bullpen. "Now, what's gotten into Rhonda?"


	86. 5 Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wondered how Jim and Blair actually started as a couple? Well, here is the answer. 
> 
> Written by Krisser, my guest author for this week.

Sullivan's Pub Part 86  
5 Questions  
Guest Author: Krisser  
Author Email: Krisserfic@aol.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: J/B 

Status: Complete  
Date: 09/20/04  
Category: Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: This is from my pal, Kris. You are going to love this one. Thank you Kris, for giving the boys a beginning. 

Story Notes: Anyone else want to have something on Sullivan's Pub? I'm not above begging. 

 

Summary: Ever wondered how Jim and Blair actually started as a couple? Well, here is the answer. 

Warnings: m/m   
Sullivan’s Pub Part 86  
5 Questions   
TS J/B   
by Krisser   
Blair just hated when his mom would send him those stupid magazine tests. Like he needed a test from some lady’s magazine to discover that he didn’t fit the norm. 

Naomi meant well, she was still hoping that he would find his chi and become one with himself and leave the “fascist pig” world behind. 

He opened the magazine and turned to the page to at least read the title. It would be easier later, to be able to answer truthfully that he did see the article.

5 Questions To Determine Your Perfect Mate. 

Blair laughed to himself, only five questions? Well, no wonder he got it wrong all the time, he asked way more than five questions. 

Curious, he glanced down at the article more closely. There are no wrong answers. He read that first and liked the thought behind it.

“Aw, hell, why not?” He said aloud to the room. Blair walked to the kitchen table, picking up pad and paper on the way. He pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and sat down. He read the rest of the instructions. They instructed him to write down the very first name that popped into his head. They claimed that this was very important. Fine! Blair read the first question.

Twenty years down the line, who do you want to see across your breakfast table? 

Blair scribbled automatically: Jim.

Next question.

Earthquake! Everything is crumbling around you, who or what is your first thought? 

‘Well, shit,’ Blair thought, ‘Jim, of course.’ 

Without hope of rescue, who would you be stranded with on a deserted island? 

Blair wrote Jim’s name without a second thought. 

Who is the first person you’d trust with a dark secret? 

Jim! 

With loved ones, we find ourselves capable of sacrificing our own lives to save or spare them, but who would you be willing to kill for? 

Without hesitation, Blair wrote Jim.

The article then asked to check your answers and see if the same name appears more than once. 

If the same name appears twice, you have a good friend.   
Same name three times, maybe you should be dating.   
Same name all 5 times, your perfect mate. 

The article then stated the typical bullshit; this is intended for entertainment and is not based in science.   
It may not have been scientific, but Blair realized that he needed to do some deep thinking. He had the same name all five times. Jim. 

Blair examined the questions more thoroughly. He and Jim were cops. They have had to kill to save each other. And of course he would trust Jim with deep, dark secrets, hell, they were Sentinel and Guide. Not too much bigger than that.   
In any disaster he would call for Jim. Jim was the Blessed Protector, he would have to reassure him immediately.

Of course he could see himself with Jim across the breakfast table in the future. Blair knew he was the Sentinel’s guide. Plus they had a routine. They knew just what to do for the other, when to push and when to back off. Which of course, leads right into the deserted island thing. Who else could he spend all that time with and not really do him in? 

Perfect mate? Doesn’t that imply sex? Sex with Jim? 

Blair let himself dwell on that ...whoa! His body reacted to that thought instantly. He was hard. He arched his hips, rubbing against his own jeans as he thought of Jim’s hard body…Hey! Blair jumped up and paced about the kitchen. He wanted Jim’s hard body next to his? 

He wanted Jim’s hard body next to his.

Why? 

Because…shit…because he was his perfect mate. Shit! 

He picked up the paper he had written on and crumpled it up into a ball. He tossed it in the trash and closed the magazine. Perfect mate. Shit.

Now what was he going to do? He had never let himself think of Jim that way. Liar! His subconscious shouted at him. Oh posh, dreams don’t count. It’s not like they can be controlled. But studies have shown that they are a direct result of desires and fears. And, man, he didn’t fear Jim, so he must…desire him. Double shit! 

What to do? Well, his hard-on didn’t seem to be going anywhere and he couldn’t jack off right here in the kitchen, Jim would smell it. So a shower was in order. He dropped his clothes on the floor and let the warm water hit him. He let his mind drift, testing the dream/desire theory.

Blair soaped his body and stroked his cock, letting his imagination take over. 

Jim would come up behind him, already hard and press his cock along his crack. He would then spread his legs and Jim’s cock would slide between his thighs and Blair would close his legs hard. They’d rock together, Jim’s penis between his legs, Jim’s hand on his cock. Water cascading on them, moans would echo off the tiles, becoming shouts as both reached their climax. 

Blair rested against the shower wall, hell yes, he desired Jim. 

\------- 

Jim threw his keys on the table by the door as he entered. Blair came out of his room smelling fresh and clean. Jim noted that he grabbed a magazine off the kitchen table and stuffed it under some of the magazines on the coffee table.

“What was that, Chief?” Jim questioned.

“Nothing, just cleaning up. Had a bunch of stuff out earlier. I try to be neat.” 

“Since when?” Jim joked back, keeping the placement of that magazine in his mind. 

“Hey, I try. I’m just not as anal as you, but I've been getting better.” Blair stated, half joking, half hurt.

Jim could sense the hurt and added, “Yeah, I can get in the bathroom without getting my feet wet now, big improvement.” 

Blair threw the couch cushion at his partner. 

\------ 

Blair rushed out of the loft with a bagel and his backpack. He coached a youth basketball league for Earl Gaines one Saturday morning a month. 

Jim poured another cup of coffee and ended up on the couch. He brushed his toe across the magazines on the table and uncovered a strange publication. He didn’t care for too many magazines so he should just look at it and then remove it. 

“Lady’s Home Journal,” Jim chuckled and thought to himself, no wonder Blair had tried to hide it. Naomi was always sending him these things. She was trying to enlighten him. Guess she keeps forgetting that she has a son. 

Jim knew that Blair usually laughed out loud and shared these silly articles, so the fact that he hid it upped his curiosity. 

5 Questions To Determine Your Perfect Mate. 

Jim chuckled again, obviously Naomi didn’t know Blair well enough, only five questions. He’d asked ten before he got to the good stuff. The kid could ramble for hours, he couldn’t stop at just five. He flipped it open to the test flagged. Jim wondered what kind of questions could determine the perfect mate. 

Twenty years down the line, who do you want to see across your breakfast table? Jim chuckled, that was easy, Blair.

Who else would put up with all the sentinel shit?

Earthquake! Everything is crumbling around you, who or what is your first thought? Protect the guide. That was always a first for the Sentinel. 

Without hope of rescue, who would you be stranded with on a deserted island? Jim shook his head, as he answered that easily. Hell, that could be a lot of years, Blair would be the safest bet, if I’ve lived with him for five years, I could put in a whole lot more.

Who is the first person you’d trust with a dark secret? No, thought there, Blair. Look at what he did to keep the sentinel thing quiet. No brainer, Jim thought to himself.

With loved ones, we find ourselves capable of sacrificing our own lives to save or spare them, but who would you be willing to kill for? Jim couldn’t believe the questions. They shouldn’t ask cops these kinds of things. His partner, of course. We protect each other’s back. Already done it.   
Jim read on, curious what this was supposed to prove.

If the same name appears twice, you have a good friend. Same name three times, maybe you should be dating. Same name all 5 times, your perfect mate.

Date Sandburg? Perfect mate. Hell, didn’t that imply sex? What kind of test was this? He read the small print that stated that it was for entertainment.

Jim closed the magazine and tossed it on the table. He picked up his gym bag, he could work out for an hour before he met up with Sandburg.

The detective enjoyed the gym. He finished his upper body and headed for the cycle. The fit man set it for mountainous uphill; he loved a tough workout. He began peddling, his body worked by rote, so his mind tackled its latest quandary. Sandburg. 

Five years. There was the sentinel and guide thing. But & there was also the work partners thing. Also, very important was the best friend thing. It may have started as a sentinel thing, but it was way past that now. 

They spent a lot of time together. Hell, they spent most of their time together. They vacationed together, worked together, hung out together. There were only a few times a month that they were apart. Jim found this didnt bother him.   
He and Caro could never do that, but Sandburg? 

Fifty plus Jag games over the last five years. Countless numbers of lunches and dinners, movies even a couple of banquets………..hell. I have been dating Sandburg. Jim was startled but not shocked by his thoughts. He wondered what that meant. 

Perfect mate. So that had to mean sex. Jim pondered the idea of sex with Blair. Sure there was stuff in the army. But that was about relief, not relationships. Could he have sex with Sandburg, did he want sex with Sandburg? 

With sentinel recall, Jim let his thoughts roam over Blair. His scent was always welcoming; he was okay on the eyes. His voice had a special quality. Hed never told his guide that it wasnt only the guide voice that he responded to. He touched Blair a lot, grounding and all that. The tactile impressions never had him recoil. He found his body responding to just the memories of touch. Then there was taste. Taste? The only taste he remembered was the fountain water and death. His body responded to that memory, too.   
With an only half hard cock he made for the showers. What he was going to do with this new information he wasnt sure yet.   
He left the gym to hook up with Blair.

\--------- 

Jim found Blair talking to Earl as the little kids filed out of the gym. 

"Hey, Gaines, Sandburg," Jim said by way of greeting.

"Ellison," Earl returned. 

"Hi, Jim!" Blair answered with real enthusiasm.

"You ready for some lunch?" Jim directed to his partner.

"Sure am." 

Jim looked to the other man, "You want to join us, Earl?" 

Earl smiled at the cop, "Wish I could, but I go on duty in thirty, so I'm outta here." 

Sandburg and Ellison raised their hands in a wave.

"Cuban or Thai, Chief?" Jim asked as he pulled the truck from the curb. 

"How about WonderBurger?" Blair countered with. 

Jim smiled, "I won't refuse that, but what's the occasion? Usually its the blocked artery lecture." 

"Well, we all need to deviate sometimes." Blair returned the smile that Jim gave him. 

Jim turned the truck in the other direction and said, "Okay." He accepted that Blair wanted the taste of grease, too. 

They ate on the open-air patio in the sun. They ate in harmony. Blair passed the pepper to Jim before he asked. Jim slid the mustard packet Blair's way before he indicated that he wanted it.

After lunch, Jim suggested a ride to the Cascade overlook, Blair agreed with a smile. Both men stood along the canyon edge in a companionable silence. Then, without warning, Jim broke it. 

"So, whose name did you put by the five questions?" 

Blair shook his head ruefully, he should have realized that his roommate would have ferreted out the magazine after he had tried to hide it. "Naomi sent it, as usual." 

"You didn't answer the question, Darwin," Jim persisted. 

"I only came up with one name," Blair stated softly.

"Odd, so did I."

Jim's whole demeanor was soft, Blair took a chance, "It was yours, Jim." 

"How about that, the one name on my list was yours, Blair,"

Jim turned his head to look at Blair's face. "The test only made my head realize what my heart already knew, you are my perfect mate." 

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I realized, too. It wasn't only a friendship, it was more. I do want more." Blair was still a little unsure that Jim wanted that with him. 

The Sentinel felt his guide's uncertainty and reached out to caress his cheek. Blair leaned into it and Jim pulled him closer so their lips could meet in a first kiss.

They were alongside a road, Jim meant to keep it simple, but with the first taste, he was lost. The remembered taste of death and fountain water was replaced with the savory taste of his living guide. 

Blair's lips opened in invitation and Jim dipped inside. The kiss went from exploring to consuming. Only a honk from a passing car broke the men apart. Half-lidded eyes and puffy lips met a mirror reflection in the other's face. 

"Let's go home, Chief." 

The ride home was silent but they held hands lest either thought it was just a dream. 

The door had barely closed before Jim had Blair pressed firmly against the wall. 

Blair grabbed Jim's shoulders and pulled him closer, "I think we've been like this before." 

"Last time I didn't make the most of the opportunity. This time I won't make that mistake." Jim crushed his lips against his partners and once again the taste exploded against his taste buds. 

Blair arched into Jim's hardness and wanted more. He unbuttoned Jim's shirt and pulled it from his pants. He moved his open hand all over Jim's chest and back. Jim moaned into the mouth that he couldn't seem to get enough of. He wanted to explore other spots but the lips demanded the opportunity to make up for lost time. 

Blair's hand wasnt satisfied, it wanted more so he unfastened the snap and zipper that held the jeans on his partner's body. His hand went right inside the boxers and found just what it was seeking. A hot, silky and hard piece of evidence that Jim was wanting just what he did. The automatic arching of Jim's hips into his hand only spurred the hand into action. He gripped the hard erection and pumped it in time to his own hips that were thrusting against Jim's hip. His lips were still under attack and the multiple sensations ganged up on the two lovers and they exploded without warning to themselves or their partner.   
Jim rested his head against his perfect mates, "Since weve been in courtship mode for the last five years can we go straight to the monogamous partner part?" 

"Yeah, I wouldn't want it any other way." Blair smiled into Jim's neck. 

Jim led Blair upstairs for a nap. He wanted to rest up. "We have a lot of catching up to do." 

"I'll be up for that." 

Jim swatted his partner on the ass as he passed him on the stairs.

Sated, both men crawled into bed looking forward to the night ahead. Tucked under Jim's chin, Blair whispered, "I love you." 

Jim pulled his love closer, "I love you, too." Cuddled up next to his mate, life had never felt this good. He followed Blair into sleep.

\------- 

Next morning, Blair peeked over the railing and watched Jim at the kitchen table. "Jim, what are you mailing?" Blair asked as he bounded down the stairs.

"Just an article, Chief." 

"To whom?" Blair asked as he turned over the manila envelope. He read aloud, "Naomi Sandburg? What?" Blair looked quizzically at his partner. 

Jim smiled as he opened the magazine to the bookmarked spot.   
Blair slipped his arm around Jim's waist as he read, "Test your skills on 'How To Be A Good Mother-in-law'." 

Both men chuckled before stealing another kiss.


	87. Cyber Sex 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sullivan's Pub Part 87  
> Cyber Sex  
> By Patt
> 
>  
> 
> You can find this chapter in the regular list of stories on AO3.

Sullivan's Pub Part 87  
Cyber Sex  
By Patt

 

You can find this chapter in the regular list of stories on AO3.   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/881110/chapters/1695971


	88. Potty Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blair has terrible language, will this put Jim off? I think not. 
> 
>  
> 
> Guest author this week is LilyK. Please tell her if you enjoyed it.

Sullivan's Pub Part 88  
Potty Lips  
Author: LilyK  
Author Email: chakbalam@gmail.com  
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B   
Website: http://almostpuresentinel.popullus.net/index.html

Status: Complete  
Date: 09/23/04  
Category: Humor 

This story is a sequel to: Sullivan's Pub Part 1-87

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: I asked LilyK if we could use this story for Sullivan’s and she thought it would be fun, also. Enjoy and be sure to tell her how much you liked it. It’s a great story. 

Story Notes: Anyone else want to have something on Sullivan's Pub? I'm not above begging. 

 

Summary: Blair has terrible language, will this put Jim off? I think not. 

Warnings: m/m 

========================================================  
Sullivan’s Pub Part 88  
Potty Lips   
By LilyK

\---------------------------   
Note: Inspired by a list sib's strange response from Word's spell check, which wanted to correct "pouty lips" to "potty lips".   
\---------------------------- 

"Ouch!" Blair yelled. "Fuck!" He hopped on one bare foot, holding the other between his hands. "Double fuck!"

"Chief?" Jim's head appeared over the railing and he peered down onto the top of his lover's bouncing, curly head. "You okay?"

"Fuck no, I'm not okay!" Blair groused. He hopped over to the sofa and plopped his butt on the arm, staring at the bottom of his foot. 

"What's wrong, Blair?" Jim asked politely. 

Blair glared up. "Fuck you, Ellison. You told me you fixed that spot on the hardwood floor! How the fuck did I get a splinter in my foot if you fixed it?" 

Jim sighed. Damn. He'd forgotten about that bad board that he'd promised to repair earlier in the week. The days had flown by and the needed repair had been forgotten. Jim trotted down the stairs and knelt close to his partner, examining the injured appendage. With gentle fingers, he poked the red spot while he focused in on the small piece of wood that had pierced the skin and embedded itself in the fleshy, tender part. 

"Ouch! Fuck!" Blair yelped. "That bastard hurts!" 

Jim hid a smile and rose. "I'll get the instruments for surgery, Chief."

"Yeah, right," Blair grumbled. "Make fun of me in my injured state. You're a dickhead."

Jim laughed quietly, went to the bathroom and fetched the needed supplies: tweezers, cotton ball, iodine, antibiotic ointment and adhesive bandage. He took the items back over to his suffering partner and arranged them on the coffee table. Then he sat on the sofa and smiled. "Come on, you big baby. Put that foot on my lap and close your eyes." 

Blair sighed dramatically and slid down onto the cushions. He leaned back on his elbows and put his aching foot on Jim's lap.

"You need to lie still, Blair. I wouldn't want to be responsible for gouging out a hunk of flesh because you couldn't bite the bullet and stay calm."

"Bite my ass, Ellison."

"You have a dirty mouth, Sandburg." Jim swabbed the booboo with a cotton ball dipped in iodine and forged ahead. 

"Ouch! Cocksucker! What was what?"

Jim held up the tweezers, showing off the small sliver clamped between the tips. "Ah-ha!" he said triumphantly. 

"About fucking time," Blair whined. "Ouch! Now what? Damn it to hell, Jim. Be careful!" 

Jim sighed and shook his head. "Chief, it's a bit of iodine to clean the crevasse, then a touch of antibiotic cream. It doesn't hurt. Stay still." He clamped a hand around the fidgeting ankle. 

"Easy for you to say, man. It isn't your fucking foot that's falling off." Blair pouted. 

Jim laughed again, gently rubbed in a bit more of the cream and after peeling the paper from the adhesive bandage, he tenderly covered the damaged area. "There you go, Mr. Macho." He looked over at Blair, who was worrying his lower lip with his teeth. The sight made Jim's mouth go dry and certain body parts begin to surge to life. "Chief, besides having a potty mouth, you know what you have?" 

"I suppose you're going to tell me," Blair said, giving him another sexy pout. 

Jim felt his dick careen into overdrive. He lowered his voice and with a hand on Blair's stomach, he growled softly, "You have potty lips, Chief." 

"What?"

"Potty lips. Made for fucking and sucking." 

"Geez, Jim. Is that good or bad?" Blair laughed. 

Jim shrugged. "Want me to kiss them and make it all better?"

"Fuck, yes! Get over here right now." Blair chuckled. 

Jim moved quickly. He slid from the sofa to his knees, pulled the giggling man further down onto the sofa cushions, and then crawled onto the sofa to cover Blair's body with his. Jim's lips pressed against the smiling potty lips and proceeded to thoroughly ravish that mouth until Blair was whimpering and shaking. 

Jim finally pulled back and when their eyes met, he smiled. He brushed a stray lock of hair from Blair's face and said, "Where else does it hurt, Chief?"

"Jim, everything hurts, from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet. Everything, man. It all needs kissing, so shut the hell up, hurry the fuck up, and take care of it. Now."

Jim laughed deeply and took care of it, potty lips and all. 

The End. 

Back to The Sentinel Stories Main Listing   
Thank you, LilyK. J


	89. Sullivan's Pub Part 89   Hey Jim, Hey Blair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found it. :)

Sullivan's Pub Part 89  
Hey Jim   
by PattRose   
pattrose1@aol.com

 

Blair called out, "Hey Jim, did you know that if you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee." Blair thought to himself, it hardly seems worth it! 

 

Jim said, "Blair, we need to tell Simon about this, don't we?" 

 

Blair smiled as he asked, "Oh gross, Jim guess what? The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. Who fucking knew?" 

 

Blair started laughing and said, "Hot damn, Jim, a pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes." And Blair thought to himself, in my next life I want to be a pig! 

 

Blair said, "Now Jim how do you suppose they figured out exactly how long this lasted? Do you suppose some guy had to shove his dick into the pig to see how long it did spasm? Hey, this is stuff I think about sometimes. I can't help it." 

 

Blair called out, "Yo Jim, banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour." He started banging his head against the wall saying, "I'm still in shock over the pig news. I need to work off more calories." 

 

Jim grabbed his head and held it close and said, "Enough is enough Chief. No more banging your head on the wall. You don't need to lose any weight or brain cells." 

 

Blair kissed Jim and then said, "Hey Jim did you know, a cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death?" 

 

Jim made a face and said, "Chief, that's gross." 

 

Blair answered, "Once again, Jim, I'm wondering who the hell wandered around following this poor sick, headless bug and waited for it to finally starve to death? And how do they know it was starvation? Stop laughing, Jim." 

 

Blair laughing too, said, "Yo Jim, the male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off." 

 

Jim started laughing very vigorously and said, "Now this gives a whole new meaning to Sandburg bit my head off today. Doesn't it?" 

 

Blair laughed with him and said," Okay, Jim, vote on this one, some lions mate over 50 times a day. In my next life I still want to be a pig...quality over quantity! What do you think, big man?" 

 

Jim said while smiling, "Chief, I don't know, because it is hard to think about something I know I'll never be familiar with. Sad, but true." 

 

Blair said, "Hey Jim, elephants are the only animals that can't jump. Wouldn't this be one for the stupid elephant jokes?" 

 

Jim answered, "No, it would be a stupid human trick, lets watch the human try to get the huge elephant to jump." DUH 

 

"Oh good one, big man." Blair said, "Hey Jim, a cat's urine glows under a black light. Did we really need to know that?" 

 

"Okay Chief," Jim said, "I'm getting the hang of this. Who follows that cat around and sees what it is doing, and carries a black light around with them just in case?" 

 

"Way to go, hot shot." Blair said laughing. 

 

Blair yelled out, "Hey Jim, Polar bears are left handed." 

 

And Jim answered, "Who fucking cares?" Jim found himself having a very good time. If nothing else, Blair was teaching him to enjoy life more. 

 

Blair added, "Hey Jim, humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. What about the pig? Not to mention the damn lion. Holy shit 50 times a day. You have to say it is for pleasure. I mean, no damn lion is going to do it 50 times just because something in nature says do it. Right? I mean he is the king of the jungle; he wouldn't do it just because. I believe it is probably a good time for him and the pig. Holy shit, maybe we should get the two together." 

 

"Chief," Jim said, "I should have seen that one coming, but I didn't. Oh man, do you believe we are talking about orgasm's and I just said, seen that one coming in the same sentence?" 

 

Blair being pulled into Jim's arms said, "Hey Jim, what are you doing man, we have to go to work in an hour? Okay, I'll give in, only because I keep thinking about the damn lion and the pig." 

 

Jim said while kissing him, "I hope you won't be disappointed because I can't make you orgasm for 30 minutes." 

 

Blair kissed him back and said, "Hey Jim, fuck me senseless, that shouldn't take too long, my brain has already gone south." 

 

Later on that night, Blair decided he needed to drive Jim nuts once again. It was just too easy. 

 

Blair said, "Hey Jim, how come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? Wouldn't you think he would be able to take a little gun in the head or chest? And speaking of Superman do you think he could keep it up for hours and hours. Man, he could be with that pig I was telling you about. Oh yeah, that was 30 minute orgasms." 

 

Okay, Chief, now you've done it, Jim said, "Just thinking about it makes me hard. One-track mind. Why are you asking me this dumb assed question this early in the morning? And are you complaining about how long I can keep it up?" Jim thought to himself, shit, I thought things were good with us. 

 

Blair glared at Jim and answered, "Jim, you know that you keep it up just fine for me. So stop worrying about it right now. Remember, this is supposed to make you smile and laugh."

 

Hey Jim 2  
by PattRose  
PattRose1@aol.com

 

Things to ponder:

Blair: Hey Jim, do you suppose that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

 

Jim: God, Blair stop right now. I can't take any more stories about eating bug heads and so on.

 

Blair: Oh there were no bug heads eaten in any of these, man.

 

Jim: Why don't I trust you?

 

Blair: I don't know man. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

 

Jim: Blair, that's a stupid question.

 

Blair: Why? Why is it stupid, Jim? Stupid because you think that mimes don't get in trouble, because you think mimes don't get dirty, or stupid because it's about mimes period.

 

Jim: Stupid because it's about mimes period.

 

Blair: I don't know anything about when mimes have their period, Jim, and I think it's fucking weird that you're worried about it.

 

Jim: See, I knew this was coming, damn it. I don't mean about their periods. I mean, it's stupid period.

 

Blair: Well, if you were stuck with a period every month, you'd hope that people wouldn't be calling them stupid periods.

 

Jim: Blair, please leave me in peace to read the paper.

 

Blair: Sure enough Jim. But first let me ask if a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

 

Jim: Of course he's still wrong.

 

Blair: Good answer, Jim. (Snickering)

 

Jim: Can I read now?

 

Blair: Oh sure. Don't mind me, I'll just ask you things as they come to me. Like, if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

 

Jim: (Choking on the sip of coffee he'd just taken, spitting clear across the room.) Sandburg, I'm going to kick your ass. You waited until I had a mouthful of coffee on purpose didn't you?

 

Blair: Me? I wasn't even watching you, man.

 

Jim: Like I believe that.

 

Blair: Hey Jim, is there another word for synonym?

 

Jim: No, there isn't. Now leave me alone. I mean it.

 

Blair: Are you always this grouchy when people ask questions? No wonder people think you're hard to talk to.

 

Jim: People think I'm hard to talk to? (With a pained look on his face.)

 

Blair: Oh man, you are so easy. I love it. God, I'm good. (Standing up and taking a small bow.)

 

Jim: Fuck you, Blair.

 

Blair: And the crowd roars. Yes, I'm a master at getting my lover to say fuck you, after ten short minutes of conversation.

 

Jim: On second thought, I'm not going to fuck you and you're not going to fuck me. How about that?

 

Blair: And the crowd roars again. Yes, he's stooped to an all time low of sexual threats to his lifemate.

 

Jim: Why do I try?

Blair: I have no idea, Jim. None at all. You always lose, man.

 

Jim: Now, can I go back to reading?

 

Blair: Sure, read. Who's stopping you. Geeze, you'd think I had a gun to your head to just listen to me or something. Although I was thinking about this the other day and it almost scared me.

 

Jim: What? What scared you babe? (Getting that look of concern on his face that Blair loved so much)

 

Blair: Don't you think it's unnerving that doctors call what they do, 'practice'?

 

Jim: (Spitting Coffee all over the table again.) That settles it; I'm not going to listen to you any longer. Just shut up, Sandburg. No more.

 

Blair: Fine, then I won't share with you what I thought about this poor little turtle.

 

Jim: Stop right now, Blair. Are we going to discuss eating this turtle or something?

 

Blair: Man, that's gross, even for you. No, it was if a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? I told you we weren't going to discuss eating him.

 

Jim: Oh no, we're going to discuss whether he's naked or homeless. That's so much fucking better, Blair. I'm so relieved. Thanks for making this such an interesting day for me.

 

Blair: You're such a fucking prick sometimes. I hate that. (Pouting.)

 

Jim: Stop pouting, Sandburg, it's not working.

 

Blair: Fuck you, Ellison.

 

Jim: Are you really upset, Blair? (Getting that look of concern on his face again, that Blair so loved.)

 

Blair: No, I'm fine. If I tried to fail and succeed at it, which would I have done? Succeed or fail?

 

Jim: I fell for it again, didn't I?

 

Blair: I'd say I succeeded. I love you man.

 

Jim: I love you too, now can I read my paper?

 

Blair: No, I want to do something else.

 

Jim: Oh God, I love when you want to do something else.

 

Blair: Well, I was thinking more on the lines of more Hey Jim, statements.

 

Jim: Well fuck...

 

Blair: Man, you're so easy. Get upstairs, big man and I'll show you well fucked...

 

End Hey Jim 2


	90. Back To The Pub and Back To Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sullivan’s Pub is back on track. Connor’s on a roll.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 90  
Back To The Pub and Back To Fun  
Author: Patt  
Author Email: PattRose@cox.net  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 10/01/04  
Category: Humor 

 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Everyone is in it tonight. 

Story Notes: Anyone else want to have something on Sullivan's Pub? I'm not above begging. 

 

Summary: Sullivan’s Pub is back on track. Connor’s on a roll. 

Warnings: m/m 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 90  
Back To The Pub and Back To Fun  
Patt

Everyone arrived at the same time for a change. They all stood outdoors and talked for about an hour. It seemed everyone loved this time of year. Not cold, not hot. Just perfect. 

“Come on in, guys. I want to start. It’s going to be fun.” Connor drug Joel away from the others. 

Simon said, “Jim and Blair, can I talk to you alone?”

“Sure.” Blair said and stood in front of his Captain and friend. “What’s up?”

Jim on the other hand, was still very angry with Simon and didn’t want to forgive him.

“First of all, I’m sorry I got so drunk, but I’m even sorrier that I hurt my two best friends. Please forgive me.” Simon looked sorry, Blair thought. 

“Sure Simon. We all say things we don’t mean now and then.” Blair assured him. 

“Did you mean it?” Jim growled. 

“What?”

“Don’t play stupid, Simon. Did you mean you didn’t want to be around gay people?” Jim was looking at the ground sadly. 

“No, I didn’t mean it. Sometimes I live to hurt you. I’m sorry. Are you ever going to forgive me? Connor told me I couldn’t come anymore if I do it again. So I’ll be good, boys.” He smiled at both men, but only Blair returned his smile. 

“Works for me. Come on Jim.” And Jim followed Blair into the room. Simon knew he was going to have to make it up to Jim, a little each day. 

“It’s about time.” Connor yelled. “Sit down and let’s get this show on the road.”

Blair: What are they tonight, Connor?

Connor: Children’s Books that never made it. 

Sam: Interesting, get started. 

 

Connor: Children's Books that never made it 

1\. You Are Different and That's Bad 

Blair: (Falls on the floor laughing.) God, I didn’t expect it, Connor. Warn me. 

Jim: This is horrible.

Dan: I agree, Jim. 

Sam: Pretty bad. 

Sully: Oh where is your sense of humor. I think it’s a riot. 

Simon: I think it’s sort of mean.

Joel: You think this is mean? Does anyone have a tape recorder? 

Simon: Shut up. 

Joel: You shut up. 

Brown: I hope you don’t expect us to grow up and act like you two. 

Rafe: I agree. 

Brown: Babe, you’re already grown up. 

Rafe: You are ‘so’ going to get it.

Brown: That was the plan, man. 

Simon: Is it time to go home yet?

Connor: Simon do you want someone else to have your job?

Simon: Let’s move to the next one, shall we.

Everyone laughed. (Except Jim, he was still pouting.)

 

2\. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Jim: I never want to hear this outside of this room. We have a hard enough time with vegetables as it is. 

Blair: Who you calling vegetables?

Jim: Shut up. (Jim laughs, pulls Blair into his arms and hugs him.)

Connor: You two are so darn cute.

Joel: I think I don’t want to hear about this either. I had a hard time getting Meggie to eat hers. 

Rafe: Eat her what?

Joel: Shut up, Brian Rafe. 

Brown: He can talk. So what did she eat?

Connor: Leave my man alone. Move this along. And I just mean to someone else, Simon. 

Simon: Simone` eats all of her veggies. So we don’t have a problem. 

Sully: But Simon, you only eat corn, green beans and black-eyed peas. She won’t touch anything else. 

Simon: Well, those are all good for you, so who cares?

Rafe: We don’t have trouble at our house. 

Brown: Sure don’t. We’re always eating. 

Joel: Shut up, Henri.

Simon: I think it might be time to move on. 

 

Connor: 3. Dad's New Wife Robert

Jim, Blair, Rafe and Brown all fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. 

Jim: I love this one. I’m going to write it. 

Blair: Blair’s New Wife, Jim. That has a nice ring to it, babe. 

Jim: Fuck you. (Laughing.)

Blair: Right now? Right here?

Dan: I don’t want you to do it now. I want you to wait until you get home. I love this title. I would buy it. 

Jim: Would you fuck me in a car?   
Would you suck me way too far?  
In the bullpen, or in the house.  
Fuck, fuck, I’ll be quiet as a mouse.

Rafe: Look at Jimmy go hop, hop, hop.   
Look at his balls go bop, bop, bop.  
Watch his Chief get tough, tough, tough.   
Fucking Jim a little rough, rough, rough.

Everyone laughed but Blair. 

Blair: Shut up, Rafe. That wasn’t even close to being funny. 

Brown: See Jim’s Chief go in and out.  
See Jim’s Chief come and shout. 

Blair: Enough already. See what you started, Connor? 

Sam: All of you are very funny. 

Dan: They are funny, but would you buy the book? 

Sam: Yes, I would. Especially if they wrote it. 

Simon: Is it time to move on? 

Joel: No. I have one.   
Jim loves to lick, lick, lick.  
Come for him now, lickety split. 

Jim: Good one, Joel. 

Blair: They’re making fun of us, man. 

Jim: I don’t care. As long as I still get to hop, fuck, suck and lick with you, they can say anything they want. 

Simon: Now can we move?

 

Connor: 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share

Rafe: Well, this one could work. Love is a four-letter word. 

Brown: Kiss is a four-letter word. 

Joel: Boob is a four-letter word. (Giggling at Connor’s glare.)

Sully: Nice is a four-letter word. Simon has a very nice penis. 

Simon: Oh for crying out loud. Thank you. Cute is a four-letter word. Sully is very cute. (Sully leans in for a kiss)

Sam: Mine is a Four-letter word. As in, Danny is all mine. 

Dan: Kept is a four-letter word, as in I love being kept by my woman. (Sam and Dan begin to make out.)

Simon: This always happens. Geeze. 

Rafe: Nike is a four-letter word. 

Brown: What the hell? Nike? 

Rafe: I love when you’re naked and you still have your Nike’s on. Nike makes me hot. 

Brown: Lick is a four letter-word, as in I’ll lick you all over when we get home, big boy. (They began to make-out next.)

Jim: Cool is a four-letter word. Blair is most definitely cool. (Jim winked at Blair.)

Blair: I totally agree. Cool works for both of us. But work is a four-letter word. No one works harder than Jim at everything. And I do mean everything.

Jim: (Growling) You are ‘so’ going to get it tonight.

Simon: Like this is a news flash. Let’s move this on. 

 

Connor: The second part is REJECTED DR. SEUSS BOOKS

One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch

Jim: Whoa! Connor alert. 

Joel: Take that back. 

Blair: She can be quite the bitch, Joel. 

Joel: But only if it’s for work. She’s a sweetie all the rest of the time. 

Jim: Then why is she over there doing that Italian arm salute to us? (Laughing.)

Joel: Sit down, Missy.

Simon: Shut up all of you. I think we’re all bitches from time to time. 

Sully: I know I am. 

Simon: I wasn’t saying a word.

Sully: You think I’m a bitch?

Simon: Sully, you just said that you knew you were. (Sighing)

Sam: I’m a bitch too and if Dan agrees, I’m decking him. (Laughing)

Dan: You know I don’t think you’re a bitch. (They begin to make-out.)

Rafe: Well, sometimes Henri is a bitch. 

Brown: And then sometimes Brian takes a turn. (Snickering and pulls Rafe into his arms for a nice long hug and kiss.)

Simon: I think we’re done, Connor. 

 

Connor: Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert

Rafe: Hey Jim, do you feel that way about Sandburg sometimes? 

Jim: Fuck you. 

Brown: Good come back, Ellison. 

Blair: Hey, leave him alone. And he’s the pervert. 

Jim: Who?

Blair: I’m teasing, big man. 

Simon: This is stupid. 

Sully: We’re having fun, Si. 

Sam: I think it’s sort of stupid myself. 

Dan: Same here. 

Joel: I think it’s worse than stupid. 

Simon: Okay, time to move on. The next one might actually be good. 

 

Connor: Horton Hires a Ho

Joel: Okay, this screams, Blair, Jim, Rafe, Brown, myself, Meggie, Dan, Sam, Simon and Sully. I think this takes care of this one. 

Simon: Did I miss a memo? That’s my job Joel. 

Everyone laughed. 

 

Connor: Aunts in My Pants—that’s aunts, not ant.

Jim: Pervert alert. 

Blair: I agree. 

Simon: We all agree. Move this to the next one. 

 

Connor: Guess what time it is? 

Blair: We get to go home?

Connor: No, one person is going to tell us what he or she is going to do to the other when they get home. Who wants to volunteer?

Brown: I will. 

Rafe: Shit…

Connor: Go big boy. 

Brown: We’re doing something totally wacky tonight. Something we haven’t done in ages. (Rafe is staring oddly at him.) We’re going to strip, get naked and slide into bed. Then we’ll kiss for a while and go to sleep. Remmey hasn’t felt good, so we haven’t been sleeping. So that’s what we’re doing. 

Everyone smiled at those sweet men in love. 

Jim: Bring the kids by tomorrow after work and they can hang with us. We just love them. 

Rafe: Thanks, Jim. We haven’t had sex in a while. 

Sam: Do you want to have it while you’re here? 

Dan: Sam, stop being naughty. 

Simon: We’ll all help with each other’s kids when we need to. But you have to mention it to us. 

Brown: Bri thinks you don’t like him. 

Jim: Who doesn’t like him? 

Brown: Everyone. 

Sully: Brian, honey. I love you. 

Rafe: I feel like I not only let Henri down months ago, but also let you all down. I’m truly sorry. 

Blair: Enough. Things will get better. You wait and see. 

Joel: I agree with Blair. 

Connor: Does anyone else want to talk about what they want to do when they get home?

Blair: (Standing up and waving wildly.) Pick me. Pick me. 

Jim: Knock it off Chief. I’m tired tonight. 

Everyone laughed with Jim. 

Blair: You’re so boring sometimes. 

Joel: Oh Jim? I think someone is angry with you. 

Jim: Oh Joel? I don’t care. Where is it written we have to have sex every fucking night?

Sam: You have sex every night?

Dan: Holy shit. 

Blair: I thought everyone did.

Simon: No, Sandburg, so of us are old. 

Blair: Sorry, Jim. 

Everyone got ready to go and talked in the parking lot for another thirty minutes. 

Blair was quiet all the way home and went right into the bedroom when they walked into the house. 

Jim smiled as he watched Blair. Blair stood staring at their bedroom, now filled with candles and incense. He turned around and looked at Jim and said, “But I thought you said…”

Jim covered his mouth quickly with his own lips. “I don’t think that they have to know everything about us, Chief. I wanted us to have a special night.”

Blair said, “Where is Linda?”

“She’s sleeping in the office, so I’m leaving her be. Follow me, my guppy.”

Jim gave Blair a night to remember and made him promise that he would tell no one. Blair crossed his fingers when he agreed to it. _Connor was going to love hearing about this._

End: Sullivan Pub Part 90


	91. Billboards We Will Never See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny billboards. Mostly fun.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 91 Part 1  
Billboards We Will Never See  
Author: Patt   
Rating: NC-17  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 10/01/04  
Category: Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Everyone is in it tonight. 

Story Notes: Sullivan’s Pub 91 and 92 Ammo were sent to me, by Kris, aka_Krisser. 

 

Summary: Funny billboards.

Warnings: m/m 

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 91  
Billboards We Will Never See  
Patt 

 

“Hurry it up.” Connor yelled out to her hubby and friends. 

“Must be a good one tonight. She’s excited.” Joel kissed his wife tenderly. 

“It is a good one. Sit down before I have to knock you all down.”

Laughing, everyone decided they had better sit down. 

 

Connor: Billboards We Will Never See  
Two Months Salary My Ass!  
Cubic Zirconia’s

 

Jim: Some of the Cubic Zirconia’s rings are nicer than the real things. Don’t you think, Chief?

Blair: Is this your way of telling me that I have a cheap mate?

Jim: No! I can hardly tell the difference. 

Blair: I’m going to have our rings appraised tomorrow. (Giggling.)

Joel: Does it really worry you, Blair?

Blair: No. I was kidding. I picked the rings out with him, so I know how much they’re worth. They mean more to me than anything in the world and it doesn’t matter how much they cost. (He kissed Jim for quite some time.)

Connor: They’re so romantic sometimes. 

Rafe: I know. You have to love em. Henri and I picked our rings out together, so we know too. 

Brown: But what they want to know is did we have to spend two months salaries to get those nice rings? 

Sam: Is that what it means? In that case, hell yes. We spent a fortune. 

Dan: And we’re worth every penny. (They begin to kiss.)

Sully: Oh Simon, we’re up next. I want some of that kissing. And yes, our rings cost too much, but we didn’t want the cheap ones. 

Simon: I did, she didn’t. I’m a cheap bastard. (Snickering.)

Sully: And my kiss is where?

Simon yanked Sully out of her chair and slammed her into his lap. They began to make out like mad. 

Jim: Whoo Hoo. You go, Simon. 

Blair: Whoo Hoo. Show them how it’s down, old man. 

Simon pulled away and said; “I’ll show you old.” He led Sully into her office and slammed the door. 

Blair: Wait, how can you show us old, if you’re in another room? 

Sam: I really hate that they have their own room. 

Dan: I do too. 

Rafe: I think we should move on to the next one, eh Connor? 

Connor: Are you taking Simon’s job, Bri? 

Rafe: Damn right I am. I don’t think he wants to share.

Brown: Sully?

Rafe: The room, you nut. 

Jim: Let’s all tease Simon when he comes back. 

Blair: There are so many choices of things to tease him about, where do we start? (Snickering.)

 

Connor: Dude We Totally Forgot Our Slogan!  
American Medical Research On Marijuana

 

All members of Sullivan’s Survey were lying on the floor laughing their asses off. 

Simon and Sully walked in and said, “What did we miss?”

Connor told them again and they joined in with the laughter. 

Jim: This is ‘so’ pot-like isn’t it?

Blair: I like ‘so’ don’t know about that, Jim. 

Joel: Who has smoked pot? 

Jim: You first Joel and Connor. 

Connor: I used to smoke a joint now and then when I was in my teens. Not anymore. 

Joel: I smoked now and then until my 20’s. 

Jim: I’ve never smoked it. 

Rafe: Everyone that’s surprised, raise his or her hand. 

Blair: Blow it out your butt, Rafe. I still smoke it. 

Simon: You might want to rephrase that. (Growling.)

Blair: I smoked it with friends in college. No more. Jim gives me spankings if I do. 

Sam: (Giggling.) Now that would give me more of a reason, Blair. I used to smoke it in college. 

Blair: I had to say something, Sam. How about you, Dan? 

Dan: I never tried it. 

Brown: You and Jim need Girl Scout Merit Badges. (Falling off his chair laughing.)

Dan: Shove it, Henri. And wouldn’t it be Boy Scout? 

Sully: I’ve never used it either. 

Simon: You’re kidding?

Sully: Have you?

Simon: Yeah. When I was in college.

Connor: I think what they might want to know from this is do you think pot makes you stupid?

Everyone: Yes!

Simon: It’s time. 

 

Connor: Chew, You Fat Bastards, Chew!  
Krispy Kreme

 

Blair: This could be a slogan for cops, right guys? 

Jim: No. I don’t think it’s funny. I eat them now and then and I’m not a fat bastard.

Simon: No, you sure aren’t. You knew who your parents were. 

Jim: That was so funny, I almost forgot to laugh. 

Joel: I eat them too and I’ve lost weight. New slogan: Eat Krispy Kreme Donuts and lose all the fat you need. 

Dan: I like that, Joel. 

Sully: So do I. 

Sam: I think it would work for all of us. 

Rafe: I hate those donuts. They do make you fat. 

Brown: So now you think I’m fat? 

Rafe: Did I say YOU were fat? I think not. 

Jim: Then what are you saying?

Rafe: I have no idea. I forgot now. 

Blair: Yeah, right. 

Brown: You always make remarks about my weight. 

Rafe: I do not. 

Brown: Last night at dinner I said, “I’m going to get another dinner roll, would you like one?” And he said, “Henri, I think you could go without the dinner roll.”

Sully: Brian Rafe, shame on you. 

Rafe: Did I say that babe? 

Brown: You think I made it up? 

Rafe: No. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I love you so much. (Pulls Henri close and they make-out for a while.)

Simon: Now would be a good time to move on. 

 

Connor: Need A Good Screw?  
Ace Hardware, With The Helpful Hardware Man

 

Jim: I love this. I want a copy of that one, Connor. 

Connor: You got it, Jimbo. 

Jim: I hate when you call me Jimbo.

Connor: And like I care?

Blair: Before they start a fistfight, I agree, I want this for a tee shirt. 

Sully: It’s funny. I like it because it can work for women or men. 

Simon: This one’s stupid. 

Sam: Here’s Mr. Negative again. Geeze. It’s friggin funny, isn’t it Danny?

Dan: It sure is. I want a shirt too. 

Joel: I want one too. What colors do you like me in most, Meggie?

Connor: Pale Coral. It’s beautiful with your eyes and skin. 

Rafe: I want one also and Henri needs one in teal. 

Sully: Brian, we’re not actually taking orders tonight. 

Everyone laughs. 

Simon: There’s a lull. Lull means move. 

 

Connor: Men? Who Needs Them?  
Chiquita Banana’s

 

Jim: Ow. Ow. Ow. 

Blair: How do you know Ow? Have you tried it? (Giggling very hard)

Joel: I agree with Jim. I don’t think it would go in at the right angle. 

Rafe: I can’t believe you’re thinking about it. (Roaring)

Brown: I tried it once. 

Sully: When you were young and couldn’t decide what to do about sex? 

Brown: No, they had some really nice firm ones at the market last week, so I tried it then. Right there at the market. 

Rafe: Look what you did, Henri? Help everyone up off the floor. Some of them are old. 

Dan: That was very funny, Henri. Thank God, I’m not old. 

Sam: Wanna try it tonight? I have some firm ones too. 

This was a fantastic night for Sullivan’s. The laughter had been coming back for a few weeks. They all loved being happy. They also adored being in love. 

Simon: Ready?

 

Connor: We’d Love To Be Sitting On Your Face!  
Ray-Ban

Jim: Chief, don’t even think about it. 

Blair: Damn…

Joel: Come on Blair tell us. 

Jim: I kid you not, Sandburg, if you tell them, I walk right now.

Blair: Don’t you threaten me, asshole. 

Simon: Let’s not fight. Just tell us, Sandburg. (Snickering)

Blair: Well, we were out on stakeout the other night and (Suddenly Jim’s mouth was over Blair’s and he was kissing like he hadn’t kissed him in months. Blair noticed.)

Sully: Okay, I would say this and wouldn’t want Simon to say it. 

Sam: I say it all the time. (Laughing hard.)

Dan: Whom are you saying it to? 

Sam: Very funny. 

Rafe: H and I use this now and then. 

Brown: We do. 

Simon: Time to move on and Jim leave Sandburg alone. You’ve practically got him naked over there. 

 

Connor: Get Some Balls!  
W  
Wilson

Connor: I have to show you something. (She leaned into a bag and pulled a shirt out that said:

Get Some Balls!  
W  
Wilson

You Can Find Them In Major Crime!  
They have some to spare.

They were all laughing so hard, they could hardly get their breath. 

Jim: Are you going to surprise them? 

Joel: I already put one in every locker in Homicide. So the deed is done. This is going to be so much fun. 

Blair: You think they’ll know it was us?

Rafe: No. Never. (Howling with laughter.)

Brown: They’ll get even, and it will just give them something to do. Right, Simon?

Simon: Right. I think it’s funny. 

Dan: I love when they come down to my world and start bossing me around. 

Jim: What do you mean? 

Sam: Can I tell them Danny? 

Dan: No. 

Sam: He got punched from one of the Homicide dicks last week.

Jim: Is that where you got that shiner? You said you ran into a door. I’m such an idiot. I believed you. 

Dan: I mouthed off to him while I was in the middle of an autopsy. My hands were busy, so I couldn’t fight back. 

Simon: I want to know who it was right now. 

Dan: Simon, I’m fine. 

Simon: We’ll talk about it later. We can’t go punching each other out every time we’re in a bad mood. 

Dan: (Head hanging.) It was Marsio in Homicide. 

Sam: Thank you, Simon. 

Dan: Excuse me. (He walked out the door.) 

Jim listened and heard Dan drive off. 

Jim: Dan left, he was upset, Sam. 

Blair: We’ll take you home. 

Sam: Are you mad at me, Jim? 

Jim: A little. You embarrassed him and made him feel like he wasn’t a man.

Rafe: I agree. 

Brown: Same here. Sam I love you, but you can’t make your man feel like he’s not in control. 

Sam picked up her phone and called Dan. 

“Wolfe.”

“Danny, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never do anything like that again. I love you so much.” And then she began to sob. 

It wasn’t but two minutes and Dan was back holding on to his wife. 

Dan: Sorry everyone. It was embarrassing that I didn’t get a punch in. So I didn’t want anyone to know. 

Simon: We’ll talk more about it tomorrow. Connor, move this baby. 

 

Connor: We’re Proud Of Our Organs!  
Hammond Organs

 

Joel: I love this one. 

Jim: I do too. 

Blair: I think it’s a riot. 

Jim: So does that mean you like it?

Blair: No, I meant, I wanted a stampede to start. 

Sully: Blair you are so funny. 

Jim: He always gets the attention. 

Sam: He’s so cute. 

Dan: He just looks cuddly. 

Rafe: I’ll tell ya; we’ve wanted to take him home many times. He’s a keeper. 

Jim: Fuck all of you. 

Simon: I guess you’re going to be busy then. (The laughter starts again.)

 

Connor:  
Gold’s Gym  
Big Ego’s!  
Big Bicep’s!  
Little Winkies!

 

Blair: This isn’t true. You’ve all seen Jim naked. He looks wonderful, including his winkie. Where the hell did they come up with that name? 

Jim: Thanks babe.

Brown: Rafe looks great naked and he has a fantastic pecker. 

Sully: Simon looks gorgeous naked, wanna see? And his penis is quite nice. 

Simon: (Kisses Sully) Thank you, baby. 

Sam: Dan, would you like to model for the boys? He’s perfect in every way. 

Dan: Thank you, honey. I love you. 

Connor: Have I ever mentioned how gorgeous my husband’s cock is? 

Sully: And is it big? (Giggling)

Sam: And is it Hard? Like right now? (Laughing her fool head off.)

Simon: All right. Knock it off. 

Sully: His penis? Never. 

Joel: You girls make me blush every single week. 

Simon: Maybe we could go to the next one and blush some more. 

 

Connor: Speedo!!!!  
Making us all wish we were blind.

Jim: (Bangs his head on the table.) Connor, where do you find this? 

Connor: From my friend Kris. She’s a hoot isn’t she? 

Jim: I hate Speedo’s.

Blair: But you would look good in it. 

Jim: What it? There’s nothing fucking there. 

Joel: If I were thin, I would wear one. 

Blair: There you go, Jim. 

Jim: Sandburg, I don’t see you wearing one. 

Rafe: I wear one on the beach. 

Brown: He does and everyone stares. Women. Men. Animals. 

Rafe: I just find them comfortable. 

Simon: It would be like having my ass flossed. 

Sully: (Choking.) Si you are too funny tonight. 

Dan: I would wear one if I were the only person alive in the world. Then I would. 

Sam: You’re so cute. Would you wear one for just me? 

Dan: Of course I would. Two people alive in the world. (More Kissing.) 

Simon: Time to move.

 

Connor: I Did What With My Sister?  
Jack Daniels

 

Jim: Ewwww.

Blair: I second that. 

Simon: I vote we go to the next one. 

Everyone: Here… Here…

 

Connor: Small Penis?  
Buy a Corvette!

 

Jim: Guys, we’re safe. None of us have a Corvette. (Snickering)

Blair: But I’m thinking of it.

Jim: Why?

Blair: Guys will ask me out, so they can find out if my dick is tiny.

Jim: (Pulled Blair into his arms and just held him.) I know your kidding, but I don’t want to even joke about sharing. All right? 

Blair: I love you, big man. 

Simon: So we can move on? 

 

Connor: That’s it, kids. Goodnight to all of you. Next time, is part 2. 

As they walked outside, they laughed and talked and Jim looked around at all of them. He realized he was the luckiest man on the face of the earth. 

It was another extraordinary night at Sullivan’s.

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 91


	92. Billboards We Will Never See Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More funny Billboards.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 92  
Billboards We Will Never See Part 2  
Author: Patt   
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S

Status: Complete  
Date: 11/04/04  
Category: Humor 

Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't   
get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it. 

Author's Notes: Everyone is in it tonight. 

Story Notes: These were sent from my good friend Kris. Thank you, darlin. 

 

Summary: Funny billboards, part 2.

Warnings: m/m

 

Sullivan’s Pub Part 92  
Billboards We Will Never See Part 2  
Patt (Big thank you to Kris)

Connor: Come on gang, the meter is running.

Jim: Joel, is she always this pushy?

Connor: I want to finish up these lines that Kris gave me. They’re so much fun. So sit down.

Everyone did just that and the evening began. 

Connor:   
Billboards You Will Never See.   
Hallmark:  
Face it you’ll never come up with anything clever on your own.

Jim: See, this one makes sense to me. I can never think of anything good.

Simon: Me either. It’s not as easy as it sounds. 

Rafe: I make cards for Henri all the time. 

Brown: He does and they make me melt. 

Blair: I make them for Jim all the time, too.

Sam: Dan makes them for me. He’s good with words. I’m only good with legal words. What could I say? The judge made me do it? 

Dan: (laughing) You crack me up, Sam. I love everything you do for me. 

Sully: I get them from Simon. 

Blair: Get out of here.

Simon: She doesn’t have to leave. (Snickering.)

Joel: Give us an example, Sully. 

Simon: Don’t even think about it.

Jim: Why?

Simon: I don’t want you guys making fun of something I do with her.

Sully: My breath comes in short pants  
I’ve never witnessed such beauty  
Love and tenderness pour from you  
Hold me  
Make me stronger  
Show me the man I could be. 

Jim: Whoa. That was beautiful, Sully. Thank you for sharing it. Simon, I’m impressed. 

Blair: Same here. 

Dan: It was great, but he made us all look bad. 

Connor: I have to share one. Here I go. 

Beauty and kindness, so simple so true  
This is one reason that I love you.

Simon: Very nice Joel. 

Sully: (sniffing.) I love romance. 

Simon: Boy did you marry the wrong man. 

Jim: You’re romantic sometimes. 

Blair: With you?

Jim: (Smacking Blair on the back of the head.) No, with Sully. 

Brown: Can I tell them one of your poems, babe?

Rafe: No. And I mean, no.

Jim: Well, now I’m curious. I could have cared less before. Now I have to know. Tell us, H. Don’t let him boss you around. 

Rafe: I’ll tell you what Henri left for me this morning.   
I love to see you nude, on the way to the shower.   
You are the best thing in the world, giving me power.   
I want to touch you softly and make your dick grow.   
I want to do this all, and do it slow.   
I love you now as I did then.   
I want to make love, please tell me when.

Jim: Very nice, Henri. Now tell us Rafe’s. 

Rafe: Fine, tell them. (Sighing)

Brown: I love you in the morning.   
And in the afternoon.  
I love you when you wear my shirt.   
I need you to take it off, now.  
I love to fuck you, Henri.   
I love to fuck you hard.  
I love to see you naked  
And I love to taste you.   
Fuck my mouth, baby.   
Fuck it deep.   
You’re the sexiest person I’ve ever met.   
I love you, Henri.   
I need you, baby.   
I want you, lover.  
I’ll have you soon.

Blair: Well, I’m hard. 

Simon: That was nice. Oh who am I kidding, it was fucking hot. 

Rafe: You think? 

Everyone: Duh. (Laughter is heard by all.)

Joel: Every time you enter me, I feel born again.  
You’re so deep inside of me, I want to sob.   
You fuck better than anyone has ever fucked me.  
I love you dearly, Joel.  
Not only do I thank you for the children,  
But I thank you for making me feel good.   
All the time.  
Any time.   
Every time.   
I’m very, very happy.   
It’s all because of you. 

Jim: Very nice job, Connor. 

Connor: Honey Bear, I didn’t know you even remembered that one.

Joel: I remember all of them. 

Dan: Sam left me this one yesterday.   
Wake me with your tongue.   
Wake me with your voice.   
Wake me with your cock.   
Wake me with your need.   
Just wake me.   
I need you.  
Now.

Jim: So did you go and wake her?

Dan: Of course I did. I’m not a dummy. 

Blair: That was a great poem. I loved everyone’s so far.   
Here is the one I got from Jim in the bullpen today. 

Jim: Chief… Not here.

Blair: (Ignoring him.)   
Fuck me.  
Fuck me hard.  
Fuck me long.  
Fuck me forever.  
Fuck me until I scream.   
Fuck me until you scream.   
Fuck me.   
Fuck me now.  
Soon we will scream again.  
Forever. 

Simon: I see a pattern here. Everyone’s talking about getting fucked, right now. By the way Jim, keep it out of the bullpen. 

Jim: Yes, sir.

Blair: He gave it to me at lunch. I’m sorry. I said it wrong. 

Simon: It’s okay, Sandburg, but please don’t do these thing at the station. 

Jim: If he fucked me at the station, everyone would know. Hell, everyone would see. 

Simon: You know what I mean. 

Joel: Maybe you could write them a little poem. 

Simon: (Laughing.) Up yours, Joel. 

Jim: I have one. I have one. (Visions of Blair went through his head.   
You’re a prick.   
A mighty fine Prick.   
You’re a dick.   
A mighty fine dick.   
You’re a cocksucker.   
A mighty fine cocksucker.   
Would you please use it on me?  
‘Like’ now would be good.  
‘Like’ later would be good too.  
I love you.  
You’re my prick.   
You’re my dick.  
You’re my cocksucker.  
Mine.  
Always.  
Forever.

Everyone: (Bursts out laughing.) 

Sully: Oh that is so darn sweet. 

Simon: It’s funny and I wish he would write more of them to share with us. 

Jim: He wrote it to me, Simon. 

Simon: So you don’t share?

Jim: (Standing and looking very angry.) No!

Simon: Jim, I’m talking about the dumb poetry. 

Jim: Oh. Sorry.

Blair: You are so cute. I love you. (Pulls Jim into a very passionate kiss.) I love when you get all primal. 

Sam: Okay, here is Dan’s.   
What do you see in me?   
Your beauty makes me insecure.  
I think you could do better.  
I don’t want you to.  
I know anyone would love you.  
I don’t want them to.   
You are mine and I am yours.  
I will show you what you mean to me.  
Every day of our lives.   
I love you.

Simon: Very nice, Dan. 

Jim: Dan, why would Sam not want you?

Dan: She’s so beautiful. I think I’m not good enough for her. 

Sam: But he is. And I just have to keep beating that into his head. 

Blair: She adores you, man. 

Dan: Thank you, Blair.

Simon: Wait a minute. We said nice things too. 

Dan: Thank you everyone for being my friends. 

Simon: Are we doing this survey or what?

========================================== 

Connor: Sushi. Still Your Best Bet For Intestinal Worms.

Jim: This might be true. I don’t know. I don’t eat raw fish. 

Blair: I love Sushi. Do you, Connor?

Connor: Oh yeah. Would you like to go one evening? Joel won’t eat there either.

Blair: Sounds good to me. Anyone else like Sushi?

Simon: We’re not here to plan an outing, Sandburg. We’re supposed to talk about Sushi being dangerous for us to ingest. 

Sully: You know, you suck the fun right out of this. 

Simon: What?

Sam: I love Sushi. I want to go. Dan doesn’t like it. 

Dan: I say, the evening they go, we have a barbecue at Jim’s.

Jim: Thanks for volunteering me. (Laughs)

Joel: I’ll go to Jim’s. 

Simon: So will I. 

Dan: Me too. How about Henri and Rafe?

Brown: I don’t eat Sushi, but Rafe does. I’ll go to Jim’s. 

Rafe: And I’ll go with the people who have good taste. 

Simon: I think we’ve all answered. Is it time to move on?

=========================================

Connor: There is life after substance abuse.   
It’s just no fucking fun.   
Lee Medical Center

Joel: Oh, I don’t think this is true. 

Jim: I would hope it’s not true. 

Blair: Well, it’s true for a drug user. 

Brown: I think this is true. 

Rafe: I agree. 

Simon: I think this ones stupid. 

Sully: I think it should read, There is life after Sullivan’s Pub. It’s just no fucking fun. 

Sam: Oh, I love that. Write it down, so we can have tee’s made up. 

Dan: I want one too. 

Simon: I think there is a lull. You know what that means. 

==============================================

Connor: Want To Earn Money; Hand Over Fist?  
Call Cryogenic Sperm Bank. 

Jim and Joel fall out of their chairs, laughing. 

Jim: Warn a person, will ya?

Blair: I agree. This was a riot. 

Joel: I want this on a shirt. 

Simon: You must be joking?

Joel: Of course I’m joking. Geeze. 

Blair: You have to handle him with kid gloves. He’s a virgin to humor. 

Jim: Oh fuck you. 

Blair: Right here?

Dan: Well, I think this one’s dumb. 

Sam: So you don’t ever use your hand over fist?

Dan: That’s not what it’s asking. 

Sam: So you do whack off?

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

Dan: Sometimes. 

Sam: Don’t I take care of your needs?

Dan: Well, if you have to know, sometimes I think of you after you’ve called me at work and I have to whack off right then.

Sam: With the dead people?

Now everyone is on the floor howling. 

Dan: (sighing) No, in the bathroom.

Simon: Well, I never whack off unless Sully makes me. 

Sully: (Laughing.) He’s so cute, isn’t he?

Jim: That he is. 

Rafe: I whack off every chance I get. 

Brown: You do not. (Leans in for a nice kiss.)

Rafe: No, I don’t. But I knew I would get one of those sexy Henri kisses. 

Blair: You two are just too cute. 

Simon: Before this gets sickening, can we move it along?

====================================================  
Connor: Entenmann’s   
We Put The Lard In Lard Ass!

 

Joel: That’s not true anymore. They make those low-fat ones now.

Jim: I still think they’re bad for us, Joel. 

Joel: So you never eat them?

Jim: Nope, I’m busy eating Krispy Kreme Donuts. No room for Entenmann’s. 

Blair: He’s not kidding. 

Simon: I’m not either. I love Krispy Kreme. 

Sully: So do I. 

Sam: I like them okay, but I don’t have to eat them. Dan on the other hand, has to have them. 

Dan: It’s written in some rule book at my work. 

Jim: (Laughing.) Same here. 

Dan: See, honey. I told you it was a rule. 

Rafe: I never eat donuts. And I don’t understand how Jim can eat them daily and still look as good as he does. 

Jim: Just lucky, I guess. 

Blair: Yeah, right. He has to run about eight miles a day to keep that donut off. 

Brown: Babe, does it bother you that I’m not thin?

Rafe: (Sighing.) H, I love you just like you are. It bothers me when I’m not thin. That’s why I’m such a fanatic about it. 

Simon: I think it’s time to move on. 

Connor: That was it. You’re free to go. Everyone have a nice evening and we’ll see you next week. 

They all said their goodbye’s and were on their way. Another happy Sullivan’s Pub. Can’t beat that with a stick. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 92  
Billboards We Will Never See Part 2


	93. What Do Words Mean To You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what the title says.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 93  
What Do Words Mean To You?  
Patt

ADULT:   
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. 

BEAUTY PARLOR:   
A place where women curl up and dye. 

CANNIBAL:   
Someone who is fed up with people. 

CHICKENS:   
The only animals you eat before they are born   
and after they are dead. 

COMMITTEE:   
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. 

DUST:   
Mud with the juice squeezed out. 

EGOTIST:   
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. 

HANDKERCHIEF:   
Cold Storage. 

INFLATION:   
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. 

MOSQUITO:   
An insect that makes you like flies better. 

RAISIN:   
Grape with a sunburn. 

SECRET:   
Something you tell to one person at a time. 

SKELETON:   
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. 

TOOTHACHE:   
The pain that drives you to extraction. 

TOMORROW:   
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. 

YAWN:   
An honest opinion openly expressed. 

WRINKLES:   
Something other people have.     
You have character lines.


	94. Who is Driving This Car?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon has a day off and spends it with Jim and his children. Will it be a big mistake?

Sullivan’s Pub Part 94  
Who is Driving This Car?  
Author: Patt   
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com   
Rating: R  
Pairings: J/B R/B J/C S/S D/S  
Status: Complete  
Date: 01-19-05  
Category: Humor   
   
Disclaimer: They aren't mine; I wish they were. I don't get paid; I wish I did. Do you see a pattern forming here?   
I'll put them back when I'm finished; if I feel like it.   
   
Author's Notes: Just Jim, Simon and the kids this time.   
   
Summary: Simon has a day off and spends it with Jim and his children. Will it be a big mistake?   
   
   
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sullivan’s Pub Part 94  
Who’s Driving This Car?  
Patt

 

Simon was bored out of his mind. He had taken the day off and didn’t keep the kiddo’s home to bug him. So he was sitting there all day long watching daytime television and he was about to lose his mind. 

The phone rang and he jumped up and lunged at it. _Please be work._

“Banks.” He barked. 

_Hey Simon. I’m home today with the kids. Would you like to go to the zoo and then have lunch in the park with us? There’s an Auction at the Zoo to raise funds to help care for the animals. I promised Blair I would go._ Jim asked. 

“That would be great, Ellison. I’ll be there in five minutes.” Simon didn’t even say goodbye as he slammed down the phone. _Finally, I’m getting out of here._

Sully had told him that he needed more time off, more time to relax and more time to think about what was most important. All Simon could think about was how bored he was, so it wasn’t working. 

When he arrived at Jim’s, Jim looked up and smiled as he was putting the kids in the back seat. “Hey Simon.”

“Hey Jim. Thanks for getting me out of there.” Simon smiled sheepishly. 

“I knew you would be next to insane by now.”

“Hey Drake, how ya doing?” Simon asked. 

“Well if you get in, we can go.” Drake snarled. 

“Drake, say you’re sorry.” Jim ordered. 

“I’m sorry Uncle Simon. I want to go.” Drake’s lip was trembling and he was working his Uncle like crazy. And it was working. 

“I’m sorry too, Drake. I’m getting in now. Come on Jim. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Jade tapped Simon’s elbow on the back of the seat and said, “Hi Uncle Simon.” 

“Why hello, my little Jadey. How are you?”

“I’m fine. I wish you could have brought your kids.” Jade loved the family get-togethers with all of the children. 

“Maybe next time, Jadey. How is my little Rayney?” Simon smiled over at Jim and Blair’s youngest and thought she was one of the most beautiful children he had ever seen in his life. 

“Hi, Unca Simon. We go to Zoo.”

“Yes, we are, honey.” Simon smiled as Jim got in and started the SUV. 

Jim and Simon talked about some things from work as he drove and he got behind Gramma Moses and from the back seat all they heard was Rayne saying, “I hope we not in yo way.”

Both Jim and Simon burst out laughing. “Do you say that often Jim?”

“I guess so if she picked it up.”

The next car he was behind turned the corner so slow, it was unbelievable. This time is was Jade calling from the back seat, “Did you see that? They almost tipped over they were going so fast.”

“Jim, you really need to calm down while you’re driving.” Simon was still laughing from the first outburst. 

They were sitting behind a car that hadn’t moved yet on the green light and Drake yelled, “It’s not going to get any greener.”

“Jim, they’re a riot. Do they do this all the time?”

“Yes. I say this stuff and it comes back to haunt me every single time I take them somewhere.” Jim smiled as he looked into the rear-view mirror. 

“Oh looky, Rayney. Daddy is watching us through his mirror. It’s a magic mirror. He can see everything we do through it.” Jade was explaining to her baby sister. 

“I can’t believe you told them that.” Simon whispered. 

“It keeps them on their toes.” Jim pulled behind a man reading a map at a stop sign. 

Jade screamed at the top of her lungs, “Hey Mister, it’s not gonna get any redder.”

Both Jim and Simon howled with laughter and Jade couldn’t figure out why. 

Once they got on to a busier street, Jim started to pull into another lane. A car came up behind him and almost hit them. This time it was Rayney who said, “I hope we wont in yo way.”

Again the men burst out laughing and Jim realized, he had to stop complaining so much while he was driving. Jim prayed they would get to the Zoo without further ado. 

Once they arrived, Rayne informed Daddy she didn’t want to sit in a baby stroller, so Simon and Jim figured they would carry her when she needed a rest. As they walked down the path to the Polar Bears, an older lady bumped into Rayne and Rayne said, “Coose me. I walkin here.”

“You should really teach your daughter some manners.” The old bat said. 

“She does have manners, she didn’t call you an old bat did she?” Jim snarled and she quickly walked away. 

“So you do it while you’re walking too?” Simon asked. 

“Oh no. Everything you’ll hear now will be from Blair. They are ‘so’ totally his at the Zoo.”

The afternoon went quickly and they all hated to leave. Both men spent way too much on Auction items and left feeling good about helping their Zoo. Simon found out it was fun to hang with Jim and his kids. He vowed to keep his kids home the next time so they could all make a day of it. Simone was going to be most irritated when she found out he had a day with Jade. 

Driving to the park to have lunch, a man raced around Jim in a no passing zone and squealed his tires. Jade yelled again, “Hey Mister, we got us a baby on board. You better be careful with babies.”

Jim looked in the mirror and saw that Jade was upset and was patting Rayne’s little hand. 

“So Jade did you have a good time?” Simon asked. 

“Oh yes. We love the Zoo. Do you know that all of the money collected from the Auction today will go to the animals? None of it goes to people. Poppy told us that.”

“Poppy would.” Simon laughed. “Did you have a good time, Drake?”

“Yup. I like when you come Uncle Simon.”

“Thank you, Drake.” Simon reached around and patted the boy’s knee. “So Rayney do you like the park?”

“Swings go way high. Way high. Way high.”

“Yes they do. Does Daddy let you go way high?” Simon asked.

Jade said, “No, he don’t.”

“The word is doesn’t Jade and I let you swing pretty high.” Jim defended himself. 

Drake said, “I bet Uncle Simon can push a swing better than anyone. We’ll find out.”

Jim whispered to Simon, “Please don’t push them too high, all right?”

“Not a problem, Jim.”

They got settled in the swings and Jim started giving them a little push and would start all over again at the other end. The kids were getting more irritated by the second. 

“Uncle Simon? Do you see that little three year old over there? She’s going higher than us. Will you push us that high?” Drake begged. 

“Sure. Daddy, let me take over.” Simon walked towards Jim and whispered, “Calm down and let them have a good time.”

For the next two hours Simon pushed them on the swing and smiled at what control Jim was using. He knew that the man was worried sick. The Sentinel needed to calm down a little. These poor kids wouldn’t break that easily. 

Driving home, Rayne slept, Jade slept and Drake talked. “Thank you for the nice day, Uncle Simon. We all had a good time. Can you come again?”

“Sure, but next time, I want to bring Simone and Matthew. They would have a ball, also.”

“Oh goody. I just love them.” Drake then leaned into the door and fell asleep. 

Simon helped Jim get the kids inside and lay down in their beds. Once that was done he walked to the front door. “Thanks for letting me tag along. You’re a great Dad, Jim.”

“Thanks. You’re a great Uncle. Next week we’ll take all of the kids. Be careful going home. One of those mad drivers might try to run you over.” Jim laid a hand on Simon’s shoulder and left it there for a moment. Simon touched his hand and said, “Thanks again, Jim.”

Jim watched him leave and realized they had the best friends in the world. And thankfully Jim wouldn’t have to listen to the kids talking like him in the car for a few days. I mean, after all, who is driving this car, anyway? 

Jim couldn’t wait for Blair to get home so he could tell them how cute the kids were. Like this would be a surprise to Blair? Jim thought not. 

 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 94  
Who is Driving This Car?


	95. Essential Truths

   
   
Sullivan’s Pub Part 95  
Essential Truths  
Patt  
   
Pairings: Jim/Blair, Simon/Sully, Joel/Connor, Rafe/Brown, Dan Wolfe/Samantha.   
   
   
   
When everyone arrived that night, they were buzzing with excitement. No one would admit to it, but they loved getting together at Sullivan’s Pub. It was fun and it took their minds off work and kids. They all needed time off now and then.   
   
“Everyone sit down and we’ll get started.” Connor commanded.   
   
“Yes sir.” Jim saluted as he sat down laughing.   
   
“What’s tonight’s about, Megan?” Blair asked.   
   
“They are essential truths. Now you have to tell me if you agree with them, disagree with them, or if you just think they’re stupid.” Megan answered.   
   
“Let’s get started.” Ordered, Simon.   
   
   
Connor: If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.  
   
Jim: (Falls off his chair laughing.) Now who do you suppose tried this out?  
   
Blair: A child no doubt.   
   
Joel: I don’t believe this, but I can’t disprove it either.   
   
Rafe: It really does work. Henri and I do it all the time. I call him Hot Wheels.   
   
Brown: (Laughing.) Do you believe that someone actually tried this?   
   
Simon: Just shows you how hard up people are for entertainment.   
   
Sully: It does sound funny though. I could just see the kid’s doing this and screaming, “Fire.”  
   
Sam: Let’s not mention this to any of them.   
   
Dan: I agree.  
   
Rafe: I think this is stupid and one of us needs to try it out and see if it works.   
   
Brown: I elect you to do it, Bri. (Laughing.)  
   
Simon: Could we move past this stupid assed idea?  
   
   
Connor: A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.  
   
   
Jim: Been there, done that. (Laughing.)  
   
Blair: Rayne has a voice that can be heard around the world.   
   
Jim: Well, she’s not that bad, babe.   
   
Sully: Well, Matthew is.   
   
Simon: He is not. He’s a very well behaved little boy.   
   
Sully: Simon, do you even know which child is yours?   
   
Jim: I think Matthew is a good little boy too.   
   
Sully: He’s a brat most of the time and his father doesn’t even notice.   
   
Sam: Sully, you’re being too hard on him. He’s no more of a brat than the twins; ours or Megan and Joel’s. They’re all brats.   
   
Joel: I couldn’t agree more.   
   
Rafe: Remington is very well behaved.   
   
Brown: Another man in denial. You gotta love ‘em.   
   
Simon: Let’s get off this one before a fight breaks out.   
   
   
Connor: If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.  
   
   
Blair: (Falls off his chair laughing.) I want you to know that Jim would be tempted to give year-long time outs for something like this.   
   
Jim: You better believe it. It’s not funny. Can you just imagine the mess that would make?  
   
Simon: Jim, this is supposed to be funny, not throw you into one of your tizzy’s.   
   
Jim: I’m not having a tizzy. I just think that would be messy.   
   
Sully: Sounds like a tizzy to me, Jim.   
   
Joel: Well, I don’t think this would be funny in my home.   
   
Rafe: I don’t either. I kid you not; I would have to threaten them with Jim beating them. (Laughing)  
   
Brown: Oh settle down, Ellison. He’s kidding.   
   
Dan: I think one of us should volunteer for this and see what happens.   
   
Sam: I think one of us should beat the snot out of you. (Kisses her man.)  
   
Simon: I think it’s time to move on.   
   
   
Connor: You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. A ceiling Fan can hit a baseball a long way.  
   
   
Blair: Now someone would have had to try this, right? Wow. I’m impressed.   
   
Jim: Don’t get any ideas, Chief.   
   
Joel: The next thing he would bring into the house could be paint cans. (Laughing.)  
   
Jim: Hey, I thought you understood.   
   
Joel: I do, but I love to tease you.   
   
Rafe: This would be dangerous.   
   
Brown: Wanna try it when we get home, big boy?   
   
Rafe: Not.   
   
Dan: I think someone needs to try it and let us know how it worked.   
   
Sam: I elect Dan.   
   
Simon: I say we move.   
   
Sully: Wait a minute, I didn’t give my two cents.   
   
Simon: So give.   
   
Sully: We’ll try it at home tonight and let you all know.   
   
Simon: We are not doing that. Now move this along, Connor.   
   
   
   
Connor: The glass in windows (even double pane) will not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.  
   
   
Jim: Voila. We now know what happens.   
   
Blair: But it hasn’t been proven.   
   
Rafe: I’ll take Connor’s word for it.   
   
Brown: Babe, it’s not like she tried this out before she came.   
   
Joel: Maybe she did. Didn’t you all see glass being replaced this week?   
   
Sully: (Laughing.) This is too funny.   
   
Simon: I would want to kick our kids in the butt.   
   
Sully: Not on my shift.   
   
Simon: And you wonder why Matthew is a brat?   
   
Sam: Matthew isn’t a brat. I think this one is a hoot, Meg.  
   
Dan: I think it sounds very dangerous and never want to hear that any of you did this.   
   
Simon: Yes, Daddy Dan. Now move it along, Connor.   
   
   
Connor: When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it is too late.  
   
   
Everyone bursts out laughing and Simon says, “I think it’s safe to move on from this one Connor. We’ll all say the same thing.”  
   
   
Connor: Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of smoke.  
   
Jim: Is this true?   
   
Blair: It must be if it’s in the Pub Survey. (Laughs his ass off.)  
   
Jim: Shut up, will ya?   
   
Dan: I think I’ve heard of this. Very dangerous again.   
   
Sam: They’re going to think you’re a big ole stick in the mud.   
   
Dan: Better than being a dead stick in the mud.   
   
Simon: There is that.   
   
Sully: Dan, you crack me up.   
   
Rafe: I might try this one day just to see.   
   
Brown: Remind me to take the kids and move away before you do it.   
   
Rafe: Very funny, man.   
   
Joel: I think this one is sort of dumb.   
   
Simon: I couldn’t agree with you more, Joel. Connor, move it.  
   
   
Connor: No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.  
   
Jim: Do you suppose someone actually tried this?   
   
Blair: I think it was Joel and Connor.   
   
Joel: Not even. We don’t have a pool. We tried it out in Dan and Sam’s pool.  
   
Sam: Don’t even joke. Danny loves that damn pool.   
   
Dan: So do all of you. So hush.   
   
Simon: How much jello do you suppose they would have to use?   
   
Sully: I can’t believe you even asked that.   
   
Brown: Well, I was wondering the very same thing.   
   
Rafe: Don’t even think about putting anything in their pool. God, you guys are all weird tonight.   
   
Simon: Next?  
   
   
Connor: Pool filters do not like Jell-O.  
   
Jim: See, someone had to have tried this out.   
   
Blair: We’re not doing it.   
   
Sully: Did Jim and Blair trade places?  
   
Simon: I was wondering the very same thing.   
   
Rafe: Where is our sensible Jim?  
   
Jim: I’m here. I’m just curious.   
   
Brown: Well, you’re not trying it.   
   
Dan: It’s our pool and if anyone gets to try it, it would be me.   
   
Sam: Not in this lifetime, bucko.   
   
Dan: And just last night she called me her hero.   
   
Sam: Don’t start anything you don’t want them to know.   
   
Dan: Okay, I’m done. (Laughing)  
   
Simon: Is it that time already? Time to move.  
   
   
Connor: Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.  
   
Rafe: Remington did this once. We had to have them removed. Very expensive.   
   
Brown: But he was so cute when he did it. I couldn’t get mad at him.   
   
Rafe: That’s because it was my car, not yours.   
   
Simon: Thankfully, we’ve not had to deal with this.   
   
Sully: It might be coming yet. I saw some cool marbles the other day at the store. I could get them for the kids.   
   
Simon: Sully, don’t even joke about that.   
   
Jim: We haven’t had this happen either.   
   
Blair: Thank god. Jim would be whining about it forever.   
   
Jim: So would you.  
   
Dan: Let’s not fight. Let’s just throw marbles. (Laughing.)  
   
Sam: I’ll get some for next week, honey.   
   
Joel: But no throwing at heads. Just guts and legs.   
   
Simon: Could we move this now?   
   
   
Connor: Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.  
   
   
Jim: I always look. I”ve melted quite a few toys in my day.   
   
Blair: He has.   
   
Simon: So have I.   
   
Sully: He continues to not look first. He turned his grill on the other night and didn’t look first. He burned up four of Matthew’s toys.   
   
Simon: Why would he put them there in the first place? Can anyone answer that?   
   
Rafe: Remington likes to hide things. He doesn’t care where.   
   
Brown: We’ve had to buy him new things when we melted his fun toys.   
   
Sam: We’ve done the same with Tristan’s, but thankfully, he’s past that now.   
   
Dan: Now I just burn up Barbie dolls and things like that.   
   
Joel: I’ve burned Barbies and GI Joes in our grill.   
   
Connor: He has, and still doesn’t look when he goes to light it.   
   
Simon: Well, are we about done?   
   
   
   
“That’s all there is for tonight. I kept it short because I still have to go to work and file some reports.” Connor explained.   
   
“What are you working on?” Jim asked.   
   
“The Belini case. I swear, there is something there and I’m missing it.” Connor was now chewing her lip, making everyone smile.   
   
“I’ll go with you and help you look over everything if you want?” Jim asked.   
   
“That would be great, Jim. Thank you.”  
   
Blair said, “I’m going too, since I’m driving and the three of us can get something cooking.”  
   
“Why don’t we all stop by and help her?” Rafe asked.   
   
“We don’t mind, Connor. We love when you help us out.” Brown added.   
   
“Why don’t we all go down and see if we can help?” Dan asked.   
   
“Sounds good to me.” Simon stood up and said, “Sully, want to come with?”  
   
“Yes, you sweet man. I would go anywhere with you.”  
   
They all walked out of Sullivan’s Pub, happy in the knowledge that they were there for each other, no matter what.   
   
Sullivan’s Pub Rocks.   
   
End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 95  
Essential Truths  
   
   
 


	96. You Know YOu're Gay When...

   
Sullivan's Pub Part 96  
You Know You're Gay When...  
By Patt  
   
Pairings: Jim/Blair, Simon/Sully, Joel/Connor, Rafe/Brown, Dan Wolfe/Samantha.  
   
   
Connor knew that tonight’s survey was going to be a whopper. She was going to ask the four gay men the questions and then the rest of the gang would see if they agreed with the answers. She busied herself until everyone came piling into the room.   
   
Connor: Hi, Everyone. (Smiling broadly.)  
   
Simon: Are we done yet? (Laughing.)  
   
Connor: Sit down so we can get started. Tonight’s might be fun.   
   
Jim: The key words are might be.  
   
Blair: Don’t start raggin on Megan. She makes us laugh almost every week.   
   
Jim: Sorry, Miss Megan. (Snickering.)  
   
Joel: Jim, that was nice of you to say.   
   
Connor: Joel honey, he was being sarcastic.   
   
Joel: I know, I was trying to make him feel guilty.   
   
Jim: It worked. (Frowning.)  
   
Simon: Are we going to get started or what?  
   
Connor: Tonight we’re going to ask questions of Rafe, Brown, Jim and Blair. Then we’ll discuss whether we think the answers are true. The topic is, You Know You’re Gay When…  
   
1.    You wear the appropriate underwear for each of your dates.  
   
Jim: This isn’t true. Sandburg won’t let me date.   
   
Blair: Damn straight. Or is that damn gay. (Everyone laughs.)   
   
Rafe: Well, sometimes I like to match.   
   
Brown: You’re dating now?  
   
Rafe: No, Henri, I meant I just like things to match.   
   
Jim: You coordinate your underwear with outerwear?  
   
Rafe: I thought everyone did until I met Henri.   
   
Simon: Well, this one was a little boring, Connor.   
   
Sully: I think it’s cute that Rafe wants his undies to match things.   
   
Rafe: I don’t call them undies.   
   
Sam: Whatever. It’s still cute.   
   
Rafe: I’m never going to live this down, am I?   
   
Dan: You should have just lied. I would have thought Jim would be a matching person. But Blair didn’t say he was, so I have to take him at his word. (Laughing hard.)  
   
Blair: Okay, sometimes he does ask where a certain pair of skivvies are. But they’re only for me.   
   
Jim: He’s lying. Don’t believe a word he says. Chief, you’ll pay for it later.   
   
Joel: Well, sometimes I like to have matching items on my body.   
   
Jim: See… And he’s not gay. So there.   
   
Simon: I think we could move it along before Jim finds out what color we’re all wearing. (Laughing)  
   
Everyone: Away we go.   
   
   
Connor: 2. You understand the subtle differences between at least 20 brands of vodka.  
   
Blair: Not true.   
   
Jim: Agreed.   
   
Rafe: Well, I do.   
   
Brown: He does, I don’t.   
   
Joel: So that means you’re all straight and Rafe is the only gay one? (Snickering)  
   
Rafe: Ha ha, funny, man.   
   
Simon: I know a lot about vodka, but so does Sully. After all, she owns a bar.   
   
Sully: True. And I’m not gay.   
   
Sam: She isn’t.   
   
Dan: I know a lot about Vodka too.   
   
Sam: Oh oh. What does that mean, Danny boy?   
   
Dan: It means I love Vodka. Especially good Vodka.   
   
Simon: I think it might be time to leave this one while we’re ahead.   
   
   
Connor: 3. You understand the immense importance of good (or bad) lighting.  
   
Jim: This doesn’t mean I’m gay, it means I have good eyesight.   
   
Blair: Keep telling yourself that, Jimbo.   
   
Jim: I’m not going to let you hang with Connor anymore if you keep calling me Jimbo.   
   
Blair: Sorry, Dick.   
   
Joel: You two are so damn funny.   
   
Connor: But do you think that Jim notices good or bad lighting because he is gay?   
   
Joel: Oh, I forgot. No, I think he just has good eyesight.   
   
Jim: Thank you, Joel.   
   
Joel: I’m just agreeing to be nice, Jim.   
   
Rafe: Well, I do notice good and bad lighting. Simon, your house has a lot of lighting troubles. Connor, so does yours. But Sam’s is perfect and so is Ellison’s.   
   
Brown: I’ve never even noticed.   
   
Rafe: And you call yourself a Detective?   
   
Dan: We have good lighting? I’ll be damned. Did Jim help us with that?  
   
Sam: You know I think he did. Our house is gay friendly.   
   
Everyone laughed but Jim.   
   
Simon: I’ll live with bad lighting, thank you very much, Rafe.   
   
Rafe: I could lighten up the rooms for you.   
   
Simon: No thanks. We’ll go over to your house if we want to be lightened up.   
   
Sully: Rafe, I wouldn’t mind you helping me get things straight over at the house.   
   
Simon: Sully, you’re missing the whole point. It won’t be straight when he’s done with it.   
   
Sully: (Laughing) You are so bad, baby.   
   
Simon: Time to move on.   
   
   
Connor: 4. You can be in a crowded bar and still spot a toupee from 50 yards away.  
   
Jim: Any person with eyes can do this. Am I right?   
   
Joel: You’re right. I spot them all the time.   
   
Blair: I never look. I’m not wondering if someone has nice hair or not. I guess Jim gets into that.   
   
Jim: I do not. Stop turning these around on me, Chief.   
   
Rafe: I hate Toupee’s. And everyone knows when you wear them.   
   
Brown: What if you start to go bald?  
   
Rafe: I’ll shave my head like you do, beautiful.   
   
Simon: Let’s all pray that he doesn’t lose his hair anytime soon.   
   
Rafe: Ha ha ha ha. You’re full of it tonight, boss man.   
   
Sully: I don’t like Toupee’s either.   
   
Sam: I don’t either. How about you, Dan?   
   
Dan: I could care less what people wear on their heads. I do know that a lot of folks make it real clear when I’m working on the body of a loved one, that the hair has to be put back on when I’m done. I always want to say, “They all know he was bald. Let him go out in style.”  
   
Everyone laughs.   
   
Simon: Is that a lull in the action? I think it is. Mooooooove it, Connor.   
   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 5. You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit and mean her bathing suit.  
   
   
Jim: I happen to like looking at women now and then, so this wouldn’t work for me.   
   
Blair: Excuse me?   
   
Jim: You mean to tell me if a woman walks by with a hardly there swim suit you would comment only on her swim suit? You wouldn’t stare at what was under it?   
   
Blair: No, I wouldn’t. You’re a jerk, Ellison. Don’t talk to me anymore.   
   
Rafe: Well, we didn’t get very far into this, did we? (Laughing)  
   
Brown: I’ve looked at women and thought about something other than her swim suit.   
   
Rafe: Like what?  
   
Brown: What do you think, Bri?   
   
Rafe: I didn’t think you were still looking at women.   
   
Jim: See, Brown agrees with me.   
   
Blair: Good, Brown can live with you and I’ll live with Rafe. The kids will all get used to it quickly enough. (Glaring at Jim.)  
   
Simon: Enough already. It’s okay to look. Just not touch.   
   
Sully: You mean you like to look at other women?   
   
Simon: No, I’d rather see you in a swim suit. You’re more beautiful.   
   
Dan: Good save, Simon. (Laughing.)  
 

   
   
   
   
Connor: 6. You can tell a woman she has lipstick on her teeth without embarrassing her.  
   
Jim: Sully, you have lipstick on your teeth.   
   
Sully: Very funny. I don’t have lipstick on.   
   
Blair: This one’s stupid.   
   
Simon: How could you tell from all of the other ones?   
   
Joel: That’s not very nice, Blair and Simon.   
   
Rafe: But it’s true.   
   
Brown: I could tell Sam, Sully or Connor that they have lipstick on their teeth. I don’t think it has anything to do with being gay, though.   
   
Sully: I don’t think so either, Henri.   
   
Sam: I agree with Sully.   
   
Dan: No one has ever been brave enough to tell me when my lipstick is on my teeth. Why is that?   
   
Everyone bursts out laughing.   
   
   
   
Connor: 7. No one expects you to kiss and not tell.  
   
Jim: So does this mean, since we’re gay, they don’t want to hear?  
   
Simon: I don’t want to hear anything.   
   
Sully: I do. Is there anything special you want to share, Jim?   
   
Jim: No.   
   
Blair: He’s too busy thinking about women to think about he and I.   
   
Jim: Get a grip, Sandburg.   
   
Blair: You’re sleeping in the office tonight.   
   
Jim: Great…  
   
Sam: Are we having fun yet?   
   
Dan: I am. I love when they fight because they make up really nicely.   
   
Joel: That’s true.   
   
Connor: Jim, apologize and kiss and make up.  
   
Jim: I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not going to kiss his ass every time he doesn’t get his way.   
   
Blair: You won’t be kissing my ass ever again, butt head.   
   
Simon: Is it time to move on, Connor?   
   
   
   
Connor: 8. You can have naked pictures of men you know in your home.  
   
Jim: This isn’t true in our home.   
   
Blair: I might change the rule.   
   
Jim: Oh fuck you.   
   
Simon: Why would you have naked pictures of anyone you knew up on the walls?   
   
Blair: Art, man.   
   
Sully: You are so bad, Blair. You have some nudes up in your house, but you don’t know them, right?   
   
Blair: No, I don’t know them. I’m just teasing the dick.   
   
Dan: Would this be Jim or your dick?   
   
Everyone laughs.   
   
Sam: I love nudes, both male and female.   
   
Brown: Jim, would you ever put a picture of Blair up in the nude?   
   
Jim: Yes, if it was tastefully done.   
   
Blair: Really?  
   
Jim: I love the way you look, Chief.   
   
Blair: I love the way you look too. I’m sorry I’ve been being a dickhead.   
   
Rafe: Here comes the kissing. I told ya, they fight and kiss and make up.   
   
Jim began to kiss Blair and they whispered their apologies to each other and they held on for dear life.   
   
Moments like these reminded everyone how much fun they had with these darn things and how much they all loved each other.   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 9. You can have naked pictures of men you don't know in your home.  
   
Jim: We have both male and female nudes in our home.   
   
Blair: We like the kids to see that art is art, not just males because we’re gay.   
   
Simon: That’s a good idea I guess. I’m not much on nude art myself.   
   
Rafe: We know.   
   
Sully: Maybe we can get something nice for the entryway, Simon.   
   
Simon: No.   
   
Sam: I don’t think you’re going to be able to talk him out of that answer.   
   
Dan: He seems pretty stuck in his ways.   
   
Brown: Sully, why don’t you have Sam draw a picture of you and have it framed for the entryway. Sam would do it tastefully, I’m sure. She did those ones for Rafe and I and we love them.   
   
Sam: Thank you, Henri. I could do that and we’ll see what Simon says about it then.   
   
Dan: Don’t force something on Simon if he doesn’t want it.   
   
Simon: Don’t worry, they won’t.   
   
Everyone laughed.   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 10. You can have naked pictures of men you don't know in your home and on your computer.  
   
Jim: Connor, this is the same as the other one.   
   
Connor: Does anyone have any nude pictures on their computer?  
   
Brown: We have Wolverine.   
   
Rafe: It’s pretty nice too. Henri had Sam draw it for Lancy.   
   
Jim: We have Sponge-bob Squarepants, because that’s what Raney wants right now.   
   
Blair: It’s so cute.   
   
Dan: We have the same one as Jim and Blair.   
   
Sully: Sam, draw them a nice one.   
   
Sam: I did draw them.   
   
Sully: Oh. Sorry. (Smiles at her sister.)  
   
Simon: Now could we move on?  
   
   
   
   
Connor: 11. Unlike your women friends, you can hang out in men's locker room.  
   
Jim: I don’t like this question. I would never hang out in the men’s locker room just because.   
   
Blair: Neither would I. Instead I go home and ask Jim to strip. (Jim leans in for a kiss.)  
   
Joel: Men sometimes worry about this, I think.   
   
Jim: Serious? About us?   
   
Rafe: Ellison, of course about us. They think we want to stare at their penises. They have no idea that we have much better at home to stare at.   
   
Jim: I’m in shock.   
   
Simon: Well, not everyone is as comfortable with you guys being gay as you are.   
   
Joel: So does it bother you, Simon?   
   
Simon: Actually, I hate being naked in front of anyone but my wife. I don’t want anyone seeing my good parts.   
   
Everyone laughs.   
   
Dan: Well, it doesn’t bother me. I could care less about anyone’s parts.   
   
Sam: Excuse me?   
   
Dan: I mean, guy’s parts.   
   
Simon: Was that a lull? Connor, move this baby on.   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 12. You understand why the good Lord created spandex.  
   
Jim: I do agree with this one.   
   
Blair: I love when Jim dresses up on Fridays in Spandex.   
   
Jim: Hush.   
   
Dan: I love a woman in Spandex.   
   
Sam: You do? Well, I’ll start wearing it more, then.   
   
Simon: I like to watch Sully when she works out to the Richard Simmons tape. Every part of her looks wonderful.   
   
(Sully leans in for a kiss from her sweet husband.)   
   
Joel: Boy, I totally understand where he’s coming from. When Meggie gets home from her workout, I want to jump her bones right then.   
   
Connor: You are so cute, Honeybear. I’m going to jump yours when we get home.   
   
Rafe: Henri and I don’t wear Spandex, but I guess we could go shopping. (Brown kisses his beloved Rafe.)  
   
Simon: I hear a timer going off. Must be time to move on.   
   
   
   
Connor: 13. You understand why the good Lord did not intend everyone to wear spandex.  
   
Jim: I think this one is self-explanatory.   
   
Simon: You could move on, Connor.   
   
   
   
Connor: 14. You know the difference between a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait and a macchiato. And if you don't, you know how to fake it.  
   
Jim: I don’t.   
   
Blair: He doesn’t. But I do.   
   
Rafe: I do too.   
   
Brown: I have no idea. I just call it all coffee.   
   
Joel: I fake it. (Laughing.)  
   
Dan: I know the difference and love them all.   
   
Sam: Danny likes a caffeine high. He’s like the Energizer Bunny.   
   
Sully: You are so bad, Sammy.   
   
Simon: I don’t like anything but real coffee. Those others are for wusses.   
   
Rafe: They are not.   
   
Simon: Are too.   
   
Rafe: Are not.   
   
Joel: Meggie, maybe you could move this along.   
   
Simon: Hey, that’s my job. Move it or lose it, Connor.   
   
   
   
Connor: 15. You know how to get back at just about everyone.  
   
Jim: What’s that got to do with being gay? (Laughing.)  
   
Blair: We’re just better at it, babe.   
   
Simon: I don’t think this is a gay only subject. We all do this.   
   
Joel: I agree.   
   
Brown: Me too.   
   
Rafe: Me three.   
   
Dan: I think we could move on.   
   
Simon: What is going on? That’s my job? You and Joel knock it off. Connor, you could move this along now.   
   
   
   
Connor: 16. Your pets always have great names.  
   
Simon: None of us have any pets, so let’s move past this one.   
   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 17. Nobody expects you to change a tire.  
   
Jim: This one’s wrong too.   
   
Sully: Jim, I believe it’s wrong for all of us. Girls know how to change tires too.   
   
Simon: So we could move past this one too, right? Wow, we’re just moving right a long.   
   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 18. You're the only guy who gets to do the "Cosmo" quizzes.  
   
Jim: I’ve never done a Cosmo quiz, unless it was here.   
   
Blair: This is probably one of them now. (Laughing.)  
   
Simon: I think we’re safe to move on, Connor.   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 19. You know how to get a waiter's attention.  
   
Jim: Now this one, Blair knows how to do. Man or woman, he can get their attention with a flip of his hair and a smile.   
   
Blair: Thanks, big man.   
   
Simon: I don’t think he meant it as a good thing, Sandburg.   
   
Joel: Well, we all know how friendly Blair is.   
   
Rafe: Brown flirts with the waiter’s all the time. Pisses me off.   
   
Brown: But we get our check when you want it, don’t we?   
   
Rafe: I just don’t like you throwing yourself all over someone else.   
   
Sully: I flirt sometimes too. Does it have to be for the attention of a waitress?   
   
Everyone laughs but Simon.   
   
Simon: I don’t like the idea of you flirting with anyone.   
   
Sully: You are ‘so’ going to get lucky tonight.   
   
Simon: I’m lucky every night, baby.   
   
Rafe: Ewwwwww. More than we want to know.   
   
Joel: They are just too sweet for words.   
   
Jim: At least it’s not us this time.   
   
Blair: Simon, I think it’s cool that you admit in front of everyone that you love and adore your wife.   
   
Dan: Wait a minute. I think we all do this weekly. I would do anything for Sammy and she knows it. She knows how to use it to her advantage.   
   
Sam: I do. But it’s only because I love you so much.   
   
Simon: All right, it’s getting too fucking mushy. Could we move on?   
   
   
   
   
Connor: 20. You only wear polyester when you mean to.  
   
Simon: Stupid. You can move right past this one, Connor.   
   
Connor: Grump. (Snickering under her breath.)  
   
   
“Well, that’s all for tonight, folks. I figured I would break it up because there are too many of them to go through. If I had known how well you would get through them tonight, I would have brought all of my papers.” Connor explained.   
   
Sully suggested, “Let’s fill each other in on how our kids are doing.”  
   
“Good idea. I’ll start,” Simon said smiling, “do you believe the babies are almost three already? Where have all the years gone? I look at Simone and feel so old some days. She’s doing beautifully in kindergarten. Her teacher said she’s very bright and Matthew loves his day care center. They’re getting so big and so darn cute. And don’t you just love how Matty’s hair is red as can be?”  
   
“I do love that about Matty. He’s sooooo cute. He’s got darker skin than Sully, but he’s pure Sully.” Blair laughed.   
   
“Well, not pure. He’s got my wonderful personality.” Simon teased.   
   
“I’m next.” Shouted Dan. “Dakota and Shannon as you know, are pre-kindergarten and love it also. They’re in Matthew, Rayne, Mallory and Mason’s class. The teacher said the bunches of them are the most well adjusted children they’ve ever taught. This made us feel so proud. Tris loves third grade and is doing beautifully. He’s in an accelerated class. So as you can see, things are well with them. We finally let him grow his hair out because he wants to be like his Daddy. So he explains to everyone at school that he’s proud to be a Native American with reddish brown hair.”  
   
“That’s tooooo cute, Dan.” Jim said.   
   
“Who’s next?” Sam asked.   
   
Rafe piped up and said, “I’ll go next. Lancy loves fifth grade, along with Drake and both of them are doing well in the same class. She’s very smart and keeps us on our toes. Remington is in first now and has had some problems with learning disabilities, but we’re working on them and hope that things will be better as he gets older. They’re both great kids and we love them to death.”  
   
“Here, here.” Brown shouted and then kissed his man.   
   
“Miss Ellie thinks that she’s the only child that ever went to school. She, of course, is a first grader and loves every single day. She comes home knowing more than we want her to. Mallory and Mason are doing well at the day care center with their cousin’s. Things are great and we can’t complain about a thing.” Connor took a big breath after all of that.   
   
Blair was bouncing waiting for his turn to talk about their family. Jim said, “Go ahead, Chief. Your turn.”  
   
“Drake as you all know is in fifth grade and doing quite well. He’s on the honor roll every session. He’s got tons of friends, loves baseball and football and takes very good care of his sisters. Jade loves fourth and thinks she knows more than anyone in our house. Sometimes I think she does know more. She’s in ballet, swimming and track. So she stays very busy, as well as us, taking her everywhere she needs to go. Rayne is in kindergarten and is doing beautifully. We wondered how it would go being away from us this year, but we needn’t have worried at all. She’s a gem. All of them are. We’re proud to call all of these children our families.” Blair was misty eyed by the time he was done.   
   
“Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I want to go home and see my precious ones. See you at work tomorrow, everyone.” Connor stood to take her leave. “Bye, everyone.” Joel said as he followed her out the door.   
   
Each couple said goodbye to each other until there was only Simon and Sully left in the bar.   
   
“We have a wonderful family, don’t we?” Simon asked Sully.   
   
“You better believe it. We have the best of families. Now let’s go home and kiss all of them goodnight.”  
   
Every night should be as terrific as this night had been. With any luck, they would be.   
   
End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 96  
You Know You’re Gay When…  
   
 


	97. Philosophy Time

   
Sullivan’s Pub Part 97  
Philosophy Time  
Patt  
   
   
“Meggie, you look happy. Is this going to be a fun one?” Joel asked his lovely wife.   
   
“I think everyone is going to have fun if they let themselves. Here they all come.” Connor got everything ready for the latest survey and smiled in greeting to all of their friends. “Hi, everyone. Sit down. We have a lot to go through tonight, so let’s get started.”  
   
Everyone sat down, just as she had asked, making her smile big time. She knew who was boss.   
   
“Tonight we’re discussing Philosophy Time and if you think it makes sense and if you agree with it. Here we go.”  
   
   
   
Connor: Strangers are only friends we haven't met.   
   
Blair: Oh, I love that one, Connor. Good job. This is so true.   
   
Jim: Well, not always. What if you met the strangers and didn’t like them?   
   
Blair: What if you did?  
   
Joel: Then they would be called friends.   
   
Simon: I think it’s dumb. I don’t want to be friends with anyone else. You people keep me busy enough as it is.   
   
Sully: Simon, there is always room for more friends. I love this saying.   
   
Sam: So do I. I agree with it too. Sometimes you just don’t know who the next person will be in your life. Friend or foe?  
   
Dan: I think friends win out most of the time. I know that we’ve sure been lucky.   
   
Rafe: That’s the truth, Dan. We have been lucky. What if I hadn’t tried to get to know all of you better? Think of all I would be missing.   
   
Brown: I never thought about that. That makes total sense. This is a great one, Connor.   
   
Simon: Do you suppose we have time for a second one instead of hanging around this one all night long? (Smiling.)  
   
   
   
   
Connor: Sure it's a cruel world, but where else is there to go?   
   
Jim: I don’t agree with this one. We’ve got lots of places to go.   
   
Blair: But the world is cruel, Jim. Let’s face it, it’s been an uphill climb for us through the years.   
   
Jim: Yes, but we had places to go and people to help us through it all. So I don’t see the world as totally cruel.   
   
Simon: I don’t either.   
   
Joel: I agree with Blair on this one. There have been some fairly cruel things going on amongst us and I, for one, thought we had no where to go many times.   
   
Connor: Honeybear, we always have somewhere to go. Never worry about something that much. Okay?   
   
Joel: All right, love.   
   
Dan: I think the world is cruel, but we as friends have made it a better place for all of us.   
   
Sam: I agree with Dan.   
   
Sully: Cruel yes, but great places to go for all.   
   
Rafe: I think I feel two ways on this. Sandburg, I know things were hard for a while for you, but didn’t you feel like they were better when we were a part of your life?   
   
Blair: Of course I did. Just like when you went through your tough times, you knew you could depend on us, right?   
   
Brown: We all knew that.   
   
Simon: Oh my, would you look at the time. Time for another one.   
   
   
   
Connor: We are the people our parents warned us about.   
   
   
Jim: This is true.   
   
Blair: It is not. We’re good folks.   
   
Simon: Yes, but I can’t imagine when our little Simone starts to date someone that is just like us. I would freak out.   
   
Sully: Tell me about it, honey.   
   
Simon: I just did.   
   
Sully: No, I mean, I know how you feel.   
   
Rafe: I’m scared to death about Lancy dating too. Hell, I’m worried already about Remington.   
   
Brown: Everything will be fine. We’ll keep a close watch and make sure they meet opposites of us.   
   
(Everyone laughs.)   
   
Joel: We’ve decided that our little girls aren’t going to date until they’re 30.   
   
Connor: What are you laughing about? He’s serious.   
   
Sam: I don’t want our little ones out with anyone either. Scares the crap out of me.  
   
Dan: Sam, we have to let them experience life. We’ll just put an age limit. They have to be in their second year of college before there is any dating.   
   
Jim: Sounds good to me. We’re scared for our girls too.   
   
Blair: Why is no one scared for their boys?   
   
Sully: That makes sense. They could find someone like me. That’s a scary thought.   
   
Simon: I would be proud if Matthew found someone like you, Sully.  
   
Sully: You’re getting so lucky again tonight.   
   
Simon: It’s time to hurry this thing along.   
 

   
   
Connor: Some people think it's the holding on that makes us strong. Sometimes it's the letting go.   
   
Jim: This is true. Sad, but true.   
   
Blair: I agree.   
   
Rafe: Same here.   
   
Brown: Me too.   
   
Sully: Me three.   
   
Simon: All right we aren’t starting that again. Let’s skip to the next one, Connor.   
   
   
   
   
   
Connor: Disclaimer: We have no wish to offend you unless you're a twit.   
   
Jim: Does anyone know exactly what a twit is?   
   
Blair: I know what a twitlet is.   
   
Jim: What?  
   
Blair: A person who is still training to be a twit.   
   
Rafe: Good one, Sandburg. Are there any twits here?  
   
Brown: No.   
   
Joel: I don’t have any friends that are twits.   
   
Jim: Yes, you do. You’re just too kind to say so.   
   
Sam: I’m a twit on a regular basis. Ask Danny.   
   
Dan: She is, but that’s why we get a long so well.   
   
Sully: Simon, do you think I’m a twit?   
   
Simon: I’m getting lucky, I’m not answering that one.   
   
Blair: I’m a twit and proud of it.   
   
Jim: I still don’t know what it is.   
   
Blair: Someone that screws up, doesn’t understand things that are simple to understand and someone who is just a little dumb sometimes.   
   
Jim: You just called yourself dumb?   
   
Blair: I call 'em like I see 'em.   
   
Simon: Before we start asking who is and who isn’t, let’s move on to the next one please?  
   
   
   
   
   
Connor: If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.   
   
Jim: Hell, who doesn’t do this?   
   
Simon: I think it’s safe to say we all do. Let’s move on.   
   
   
Connor: All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.   
   
Joel: This reminds me a little of myself.   
   
Jim: I think we’re all a little bit insane to be in this job.   
   
Blair: I like being insane.   
   
Rafe: You would, you freak.   
   
Brown: He’s been watching Due South again. (Laughing.)  
   
Sully: I like being insane too, Blair.   
   
Simon: I think you’re all insane and I have to remain sane to save you all.   
   
Sam: Oh yeah, I buy that.   
   
Dan: Honey, don’t be mean to Simon.   
   
Sam: Dan, he just called us insane.   
   
Dan: I agree with everything my wife says. (Laughs.)  
   
Simon: Can we move on?  
   
   
Connor: Sincerity is the key. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.   
   
Rafe: Okay, this one’s screaming Sandburg.   
   
Brown: You better believe it.   
   
Jim: It does not.   
   
Blair: That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say in my defense?  
   
Jim: Chief, I believe them, so it’s kind of hard to defend you.   
   
Blair: Oh that’s just great. Fuck you.   
   
Joel: Let’s keep things calm tonight.   
   
Blair: Fuck all of you. You must all think I’m some big fat liar or something, right?  
   
Simon: Something like that. (Laughs.)  
   
Sully: Honey, we know you like to obfuscate now and then. It’s okay, we understand.   
   
Sam: I don’t think this sounds like Blair at all.   
   
Blair: Thank you, Sam.   
   
Dan: She’s the same way you are, Blair. She lies like a rug.   
   
Blair: Well, I see how you all really feel.   
   
Jim: Everyone ask him something you know he has to tell the truth about and see if he tells the truth or a lie.   
   
Simon: What do you think of your job?  
   
Blair: I love my job, but I want a new partner. One I can count on.   
   
Jim: Oh give us a break. Are you happy with me, Chief?  
   
Blair: I thought I was until tonight.   
   
Rafe: Do you love being a dad?  
   
Blair: That’s a dumb question. You know I do.   
   
Brown: Do you like being Jim’s mate?   
   
Blair: Usually.   
   
Jim: Just answer the way you feel.   
   
Blair: Okay, I love Jim but he’s a pain in my ass most of the time. And not a good one.   
   
Sully: Are you happy with your friendships in life?  
   
Blair: I love my friends.   
   
Dan: Are you really mad at Jim right now?   
   
Blair: No. I just don’t want him to think he wins all the time.   
   
Jim: Ha!!!!!  
   
Blair: What do you mean by that?   
   
Jim: Chief, I never win. You always do.   
   
Blair looked around at everyone and said, “Do I?”  
   
Sam: You sure do.   
   
Blair: Sorry, Jim.   
   
Jim: I love you, babe.   
   
Blair: I love you back.   
   
Simon: Could we move this along now?   
   
   
Connor: Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.   
   
Sully: This screams Simon.   
   
Simon: It does not.   
   
Jim: It does, Simon.   
   
Simon: You all think I’m power hungry?  
   
Blair, Rafe, Brown, Joel and Dan: Yes.   
   
Simon: Well, fuck all of you.   
   
Jim: There’s that power thing again.   
   
Blair: Simon, I understand because I think it would be really neat if I told Jim to do things and he did them.   
   
Rafe: You do that now, Hairboy.   
   
Brown: Someone needs to take a reality pill.   
   
Blair: Someone needs to take a chill pill.   
   
Sam: I think it would be cool to be in charge for a day. Okay, maybe not a day, but an hour or so. I would like to boss all of you around a little.   
   
Dan: Honey, you can boss me at work anytime you want.   
   
Sam: Thank you, sweetie.   
   
Simon: Is it time to go on?  
   
   
Connor: Always do right. This will gratify many people, and astonish the rest.   
   
Blair: This is Jim. He’s always shocked when he does something right.   
   
Sully: Are you, Jim?   
   
Jim: I guess so.   
   
Blair: Oh don’t act all butt hurt. You know that you try to do good all the time.   
   
Simon: He’s right, Ellison.   
   
Sam: I don’t see this as Jim at all.   
   
Dan: He’s like this at work sometimes. It would be all right if he wasn’t good all the time.   
   
Rafe: He isn’t good all the time. The other day he went in the restroom and I think he was whacking off.   
   
Jim: I was not.   
   
Blair: Were you?   
   
Jim: I wasn’t. I’ve never whacked off at work. That, I save for home.   
   
Blair: You have to whack off at home?   
   
Jim: You know what I mean.   
   
Joel: It’s not a big deal if you did it in the restroom.   
   
Jim: I’ve never done it in the restroom. Get a grip, all of you.   
   
Simon: Okay, we’re ready for the next one.   
   
   
Connor: Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you frantic.   
   
   
Rafe: Did you see how frantic Ellison got?   
   
Jim: Fuck you, Rafe.   
   
Sully: Is this true?   
   
Brown: That he whacked off at work? Yes.   
   
Jim: It is not.   
   
Blair: What were you doing in the restroom then?   
   
Jim: What do you think?   
   
Rafe: I know, that’s what we’re talking about.   
   
Sam: I don’t believe a word of it, Jim. Don’t you worry, honey.   
   
Dan: She lies.   
   
Sam: Like a rug.   
   
Blair: Were you whacking off at work?   
   
Jim: (Blushing.) NO!!!!  
   
Blair: He was. I can tell.   
   
Rafe: I told you he was.   
   
Jim: Simon, I wasn’t.   
   
Simon: I could care less. Let’s move this along.   
   
   
Connor: Help! The paranoids are out to get me!   
   
Blair: I don’t want to pick on just Jim but this one screams his name.   
   
Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg.   
   
Sully: Well... Jim, you are a little paranoid.   
   
Jim: With good reason.   
   
Everyone bursts out laughing.   
   
Rafe: I love when it’s pick on Jim night.   
   
Brown: Hey, hot shot, calm down. We’re just kidding.   
   
Sam: So you were just teasing about the restroom?  
   
Rafe: No, that we were serious about. I meant being paranoid.   
   
Joel: I think we’ve said enough on this one.   
   
Simon: Did someone give you my job, Joel?  
   
Joel: Sorry, Simon. (Whispers) Talk about paranoid.  
   
   
Connor: If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?   
   
Sully: I love this one. Now that’s funny.   
   
Simon: It is funny.   
   
Rafe: Not as funny as Jim fuming over here.   
   
Jim: Shut up, Rafe.   
   
Brown: He can talk, Ellison.   
   
Blair: Well, I think I might go and get me a Phillip’s Screwdriver. (Smiling.)  
   
Sam: Jim, are you really upset?   
   
Jim: Yeah. I don’t like when people stick their nose in my business.   
Jim stood up and said, “I’ll see you all later.”  
   
“Whoa. Slow down man. You aren’t leaving without me.” Blair said quickly.   
   
“Stay here and have fun. I’m going home. Rafe can drop you off on his way home.” Jim started for the door and Blair yelled, “Get your ass back here or I’ll never talk to you again.”  
   
Jim stood there and didn’t move. “Jim, come on back here and tell us what’s wrong.” Joel suggested quietly.   
   
Jim still continued to stand there like a lost puppy.   
   
Simon got up and went over to Jim and said, “What’s going on?”  
   
“It’s no one’s business. I have something on my mind and it’s not about whacking off. Believe me, I wish it was.”  
   
Blair jumped up and said, “You’ve got my attention now, buddy. What’s going on?”  
   
“I had a doctor's appointment for some stomach problems. The doctor thought I had an ulcer at first. Comes to find out I have IBS, which is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I have to start watching what I eat and try to keep away from too much stress. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would worry too much.” Jim finally took a breath.   
   
Blair pulled Jim into his arms and whispered, “If you ever keep something like this to yourself again, I’m going to kick that sweet ass. Understood?”  
   
“Understood.” Jim looked around at his worried friends and said, “Sorry, everyone. I’m fine. I just didn’t want to talk about it here.”  
   
Connor pulled him over to the table and said, “Then we won’t. Come on everyone, let’s finish tonight’s survey.”  
   
No one wanted to make a big deal out of what had just happened, so they all followed Jim and Connor over to the table to have some fun.   
   
   
Connor: I know you’re going to think I made this up, but I swear it’s on the list. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?   
   
Jim: (Laughing.) I’ve always wondered what it meant too.   
   
Blair: It’s a smack.   
   
Rafe: It’s a slug.   
   
Brown: It’s a slap.   
   
Simon: I think it can be a caress. (Everyone laughed.)  
   
Sully: I think it’s a word we need to use less.   
   
Joel: Here, here.   
   
Sam: Jim, I’m glad you’re all right.   
   
Jim: Thank you, Sam.   
   
Dan: We all worry about each other, so don’t do that again.   
   
Jim: I promise. I won’t.   
   
Simon: Is it time for the next one?  
   
   
Connor: Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?   
   
Blair: This makes a certain amount of sense.   
   
Simon: It does not. I would never call Jeff Gordon a racist.   
   
Sully: How about Jimmy Johnson?  
   
Simon: Very funny.   
   
Dan: I love the races. I’m thinking of going to Daytona, anyone else want to go?   
   
Jim: I do. When are you going?   
   
Blair: We can’t all take off.   
   
Jim: Who said everyone? (Laughs)  
   
Sam: I’m going with him. We’ve got the sitter set up and everything.   
   
“Well, that’s it for tonight, everyone. I hope you all had a good time and if you didn’t, tough shit.” Connor laughed as she collected her papers.   
   
“Night, everyone.” Joel yelled out.   
   
Everyone started leaving but Jim and Blair. Jim knew he was in big trouble and waited to have Blair yell at him. But Blair surprised him and said, “I love you so much. From now on we talk. Don’t scare me like that again.”  
   
“Can we go home, Chief?”  
   
“Lead the way, big man. I’ll take care of that whacking off.” Both men laughed all the way out to the car.   
   
End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 97  
Philosophy Time   
 


	98. You Know It's Time To Go Home When...

   
Sullivan’s Pub Part 98  
You Know It's Time To Go Home When...  
Patt  
   
(Sam, Connor, Sully)  
   
All of the men had to go on different stakeouts, so Connor decided to have a Sullivan’s Pub Survey for Women Only.   
   
“Hi Girls. Come on in and have some fun without our grouchy men tonight.” Connor teased.   
   
“Oh this will be fun.” Sam agreed.   
   
“I can’t wait to get started.” Sully approved of a Women’s Night Out. They all needed it. “Meg, tonight you answer things too.”  
   
“Oh goody. I’ve missed doing that for a while now.” Connor confessed.   
   
“I’m ready.” Sam shouted as she sat down excitedly.   
   
   
Connor: You know it’s Time To Go Home When…  
   
1.    You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.  
   
Connor: Oh this happens to me all of the time. I used to lose shoes right and left but now I have Joel looking after my feet everywhere we go.   
   
Sam: I’ve lost shoes at parties too.   
   
Sully: I feel so left out. I’ve never done this.   
   
Sam: Well, it’s not like it’s something to be proud of, sis.  
   
   
   
Connor: 2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.  
   
Sam: (Falls off her chair and hits the floor laughing.) I’ve never done this.   
   
Connor: I’ve come close. I used to drink way too much for a normal person. Then I realized, I wasn’t normal.   
   
Sully: You two are a riot. I have had someone help zip my jeans up after I peed, does this count?   
   
Sam: Oh my god, she was a drunk.  
   
Connor: Sully, are you serious?  
   
Sully: As a heart attack. Before I met Simon, I was getting a little depressed and desperate. I shaped up when I met all of you. Especially Simon.   
   
Connor: Well, I’m glad you did what you thought you had to do, but I wouldn’t have minded seeing a loose lipped and zipped Sully now and then.   
   
Sam: I agree. Let’s get her drunk tonight.   
   
They all went to the bar and got two drinks a piece and then went back into their special room.   
   
   
Connor: 3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.  
   
Sully: (Falls off her chair, this time.) Oh Meg, I can so see you doing this.   
   
Sam: I agree. She could kick some guy’s ass.  
   
Connor: I’ve gotten in many a bar brawl before I met Joel. But since I met him, he tries to keep me happy and calm. I have a quick temper with idiots.  
   
Sully: I do too. And as a bartender, I saw them as much as cops do.   
   
Sam: Well, I’m a very well behaved drunk, so I have nothing to add to this one.   
   
Sully: Wait a minute. Aren’t you the one that took her blouse off at my wedding shower?  
   
Sam: Oh shut up. I was hot.   
   
Connor: It would have been more fun if there were more guys there that weren’t gay.   
   
Sam: You shut up too. (Laughing)  
   
   
Connor: 4. In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.  
   
Sully: How true is this? I hate to wear make-up when I go to a party.   
   
Sam: I don’t mind, because I’m not a slobbering drunk.   
   
Connor: Sully, do you suppose she thinks we believe this?   
   
Sam: Of course I don’t. I have been a slobbering drunk and I did look like Tammy Faye Baker when I looked in the mirror.   
   
Connor: If I was drinking for four hours straight, I’d look like ole Tammy too.   
   
Sully: Same here. Hell, I’d probably look like her husband. The first one.   
   
All of them laughed and were falling off their chairs.   
   
   
Connor: 5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.  
   
Sully: There are certain things I might do while drunk and this isn’t one of them.   
   
Sam: I wouldn’t either.   
   
Connor: Same here, but Sully, what is something you might do?  
   
Sully: If I’m good and drunk, I might slip my hand down Simon’s pants and cop a feel. (Laughing.)  
   
Sam: I might do that too.   
   
Sully: You might stick your hand down Simon’s pants?   
   
Sam: No, I meant down Dan’s pants.   
   
Connor: If I’m drunk enough, I would blow Joel right in front of everyone. He would object at first, but he would come around. Get it. Come around. (Laughing.)  
   
“We need more to drink.” Shouted Connor and jumped up to go get them something else.   
   
Sully ordered two slow screws and Connor and Sam decided they would try that drink out also.   
   
   
Connor: 6. You start crying.  
   
Sam: I hate to admit to this, but I’ve done this a few times. And if I want Danny to give in to something all I have to do is have a few drinks and cry. I’m terrible, I know.   
   
Connor: You’re no different than us. I’ve done this very same thing with Joel.   
   
Sully: I’ve cried with Jim, Blair, Rafe, Brown, Simon, Joel and Dan. Hell, I’m not even a picky drunk. I’ll cry for anyone.   
   
Connor: (Laughing again.) Joel loves it when you let yourself be loose.   
   
Sam: Have you ever gotten your way on something big while drunk and crying?   
   
Connor: Yup, I have. That’s why we have twins now. Joel didn’t want anymore children. But one night he lost control when I cried and he fucked me senseless. Whalah. We had twins 8 months later.   
   
Sully: Wow. You’re good. I’ve gotten Simon to admit he loves me in front of Dan and Sam a couple of times when I cried. Remember that, Sam?   
   
Sam: Yes, I do. He was so embarrassed to tell us that he loved her, when all we had to do was watch him with her and see it for ourselves.   
   
Sully: He’s a very passionate man, but he doesn’t really know it.   
   
Connor: Don’t tell him. It might ruin it. So Sam, have you ever talked Dan into something good?   
   
Sam: Well, we went to the drive-in one night and I had a few too many and he wouldn’t make love to me. So I cried. He fucked me twice. It was wonderful. Both times someone walked by and said, “Nice ass.” Dan was mortified.   
   
They all began to giggle and knew the drinks were going to their heads.  
   
   
Connor: 7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.  
   
Sam: This happened to me many, many times.   
   
Sully: I don’t even want to discuss this one.   
   
Connor: Before I met Joel, I did this a lot. God, I’m glad I met him and fell in love. I hated those days of trying to find someone and going home alone anyhow.   
   
Sam: I hated them too. It’s so nice to have a sweet, precious husband at our beck-and-call.   
   
Sully: I haven’t done this since I met Simon and I thank god for that.   
   
   
Connor: 8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.  
   
Sam: Has anyone ever fallen for a nerd?   
   
Sully: Yes, I did in high school and he dumped me. I was heartbroken. He said I was too big of a nerd.   
   
Connor: Oh Sul, I can’t believe he said that. What a nerd he must have been. (She throws her head back and howls with laughter.)  
   
Sam: How about you, Meg?  
   
Connor: Joel said he was the class nerd in school, so I guess he was mine. I’m so glad I love nerds.   
   
Sam: Dan tells me all the time that he was a nerd and still is. I find that hard to believe, but I don’t care. I adore that man. I wish he was here tonight. I need him.   
   
Sully: Well, this is the girls night out. It can’t be with a guy here.  
   
Sam: Anyone need another drink? I’m getting me two more.   
   
Connor: I’ll take two while you’re up.   
   
Sully: Get me two also and put them on a tray, okay?   
   
Sam: Why don’t we all go and get our own?  
   
Connor: I think I’m too drunk.   
   
Sully: Me too.   
   
Sam: Let’s wait a while then.   
   
   
Connor: 9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.  
   
Sully: Oh shit, this happened to me once. I was so drunk and was making out with him and he said, “Don’t I know you from school?” I almost died. He was my 12th grade Math teacher. He was one mighty fine kisser. And he almost slept with me, but some guy pulled me away from him.   
   
Sam: Who?   
   
Sully: I don’t remember his name, but he was in my class and he said I didn’t want to sleep with that asshole. And he was right. The teacher was going to fuck one of his students. I couldn’t believe I almost did that.   
   
Connor: I made out with one of my Dad’s friends in Australia. I was so embarrassed when I finally recognized him. He pretended like he didn’t know who I was, but he knew. He wanted me in the worst way and I almost agreed to it. I used to be such a slut.   
   
Sam: I was too. I’ve slept with people I swore I hated and would never sleep with.   
   
Connor: So we’re all sluts? Well, at least we could form a club.   
   
Sam: SAS would be our slogan.   
   
Connor: What does that mean?   
   
Sam: Still Are Sluts, what else? (Laughter breaks out once again.)  
   
   
Conner: 10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.  
   
Sully: I love to sing when I’m drunk. It drives Simon nuts.   
   
Sam: I love to do it too. Must be a family thing.   
   
Connor: I’ve never sung, but have taken my clothes off while drunk.   
   
Sam: All of them???  
   
Connor: Down to my bra and panties. I’m telling you, how I ever got Joel is beyond me. (She begins to cry.)  
   
Sully: (Hugs Megan) Honey, don’t cry. You’re making Sam cry.   
   
Sam: He’s a good man, Meggie. But you deserve a good man.   
   
Sully: We all do. We might have been sluts, but we’re good sluts now.   
   
Connor: Do you think so?   
   
Sully: I know so. Everyone gets what they deserve. We got Simon, Dan and Joel. What more could we ask of life?   
   
Connor: You’re right. We do deserve them. (Blows her nose and smiles.)  
   
   
Connor: 11. You've forgotten where you live.  
   
Sully: (Crying.) I have done this. God, I don’t deserve Simon. I was so, so bad.   
   
Sully picked up her phone and dialed Simon and heard, “Banks.”  
   
She began to cry harder and he asked, “Sully?”  
   
“Simon, I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you. You’re such a good man. You deserve much more.”  
   
“Let me talk to Sam.”  
   
Sully handed the phone over to a teary eyed Sam, “Hello?”  
   
“What’s happening with my wife? Why did she say that?” Simon asked with real concern in his voice.   
   
“She thinks she’s not good enough for you. She thinks you could have done better.” Sam explained.   
   
“Let me talk to her again.” Simon ordered.   
   
Sam handed the phone back to Sully and she said, “Simon?”  
   
“Yes, baby it’s me. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. If you left me I would die. I deserve you and you deserve me. We’re perfect together. So I want no more crying tonight. I want you to be happy and have a good time. I’ll talk to you later, sweetheart. I’ll stop by and pick you up, okay?”  
   
“Okay. I love you too, Simon. I’ll be here waiting.” Sully hung the phone up and cried some more. She was surrounded by her friends and they stayed in the group hug for some time.   
   
At the station, Jim said, “What was that all about?”  
   
“I have a very drunk wife at Sullivan’s Pub and I’ll need to get over there soon. She thinks she doesn’t deserve me. Like if that could ever be true.” Simon said seriously.   
   
“Let’s get this done quickly and you can go and pick her up.” Jim suggested and they went back to work.   
   
Back at the pub, Connor pulled away from Sully and asked, “Ready for some more questions?”  
   
“Sure.” Sully tried to be brave.   
   
   
Connor: 12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now) you only smoke when you drink.  
   
   
Sully: Thank god, there is one I’ve never done. Yuck, I hate smoking. I’d rather be a slut than a smoker.   
   
Connor: I’ve smoked a few butts while drinking, but I don’t get the enjoyment that others got.   
   
Sam: I smoke all the time while I’m drinking. Made you look shocked. (Laughing.)   
   
   
Connor: 13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.  
   
Sully: I’ve done this many times, years ago.   
   
Connor: So have I.   
   
Sam: I’ve never done that. I don’t drink Vodka. Do I?  
   
All three started laughing and didn’t even know why.   
   
   
Connor: 14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.  
   
Sam: Oh my god. I did this once. I had pepperoni in my hair for two days.   
   
Sully: (Laughing.) You’re serious?   
   
Sam: Oh yes.   
   
Connor: I’ve never had this happen, but glad you did so I have something to tell Joel tomorrow. (Laughing her ass off.)  
   
   
Connor: 15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."  
   
Sully: We haven’t done that tonight. We’re safe.   
   
Sam: Yes, we’re safe.   
   
Connor: But we have talked about being sluts an awful lot haven’t we? Do you suppose our husbands know?  
   
Sully: Mine said he loves me. I’m not telling him if he doesn’t know.   
   
Sam: Dan loves me too, so I’m keeping it quiet also.   
   
Connor: I think Joel might know, but loves me anyhow.   
   
Sam: That Joel is such an angel.   
   
Connor: I wish he was here.   
   
Sully: I wish all the guys were here. It’s odd not to have them here, isn’t it?   
   
Sam: Yes, I can’t wait till next week and we’re all together again.   
   
Connor: I’ll make it a good one next week. I promise.   
   
   
Connor: 16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.  
   
Sully: I fell into a toilet once because the lids were up.   
   
Sam and Connor fall off their chairs laughing their heads off.   
   
   
Connor: 17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.  
   
Sam: This is true. I’ve done this many, many times.   
   
Sully: So have I.   
   
Connor: I do this at home with Joel all the time. I think it gets him hot.   
   
Sam: I know it gets Dan hot.   
   
Sully: God, I have to try it out on Simon one of these nights. He might like it.   
   
Connor: Will you tell us the results?   
   
Sully: Of course, silly girl.   
   
   
Connor: 18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).  
   
Sully: We’re doing it now.   
   
Sam: (Looks down and laughs.) I didn’t even notice.   
   
Connor: I guess we might be drunk.   
   
Sully: I think you might be right.   
   
Sam: Let’s stay here. The room doesn’t spin down here.   
   
Sully: I hope Simon comes soon. I want him bad.   
   
Connor: Want me to call him?   
   
Sully: No, he’ll be mad.   
   
Connor pulled her phone out and called Simon. “Banks.”  
   
“Hey Simon. Sully wants you bad. Want to come and pick her up?”  
   
“Tell her I’m on my way, Connor. Do you want Joel to come and pick you up?”  
   
“That would be nice, Simon. You’re such a good friend and boss. I love you.”  
   
“I love you too, Connor. Now I have to get my work done so I can pick her up.”  
   
“Okay. Bye, Simon.” Connor folded her phone and said, “He’s so sweet and he loves you big time.”  
   
“Is he coming?” Sully wondered aloud.   
   
“On his way, Missy.” Connor said with a giggle.   
   
   
Connor: 19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to.  
   
Sam: Oh god, that is tooooooo funny. I’ve never done this.   
   
Sully: I haven’t either.   
   
Connor: I might have tried once. Okay, I did try and have never lived it down in Australia.   
   
All three of the girls just hugged and laughed for about ten minutes.   
   
   
Connor: 20. You start making-out with middle-eastern men on dance floors.  
   
Sully: Never gonna happen in this life.   
   
Sam: Never gonna happen in my life either.   
   
Connor: Oh look it’s Jim.   
   
Sully: Hi, Jim.   
   
Sam: Hi, Jim.   
   
Connor: Hi, Jimbo.   
   
Jim walked up and said, “Hi, girls. Now I want keys for all of your cars. We’ve got the driver's here, but we need the keys.” Jim held his hand out while the girls dug their keys out of their purses. It took them awhile because they kept thinking of some of the questions and laughing their asses off again.   
   
Jim just sighed and hoped the men would be here soon. Simon walked in and bellowed, “Where is my wife? I want to take her home and love her.”  
   
Sully jumped up off the floor, fell down and jumped up once more with Jim helping her. “I’m here, honey. I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk anymore.”  
   
“It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it, right, Ellison?”  
   
“Right, Simon. I’ll drive Sully’s car and will keep the keys at my house. Blair can drive Sam’s and we’ll keep them too. Rafe is coming for Connor’s and he can keep her keys.” Jim wanted to keep Simon apprised.   
   
Dan walked in and Sam fell over on the floor and said, “Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” The girls all started laughing once again making Jim, Simon and Dan roll their eyes.   
   
“Did you have a good time tonight, honey?” Dan asked Sam.   
   
All three of the women shouted, “Yes.”  
   
Joel walked in and Connor began to cry making Joel rush to her side. “What’s wrong, baby?”  
   
“I thought you weren’t coming for me. I was sad.”  
   
“Meggie, I’ll always come for you.” Joel soothed.   
   
All three of the girls started laughing again. “Well, I’m taking my wife home.” Simon announced and walked Sully out the door, still smiling.   
   
“We’re next.” Dan said helping Sam up and walked her out to the car.   
   
“Come on, Meggie. Let me show you how much I love you.” Joel said helping her up.   
   
“Right here? In front of everyone?” Connor asked.   
   
“Jim’s here and we don’t want this happening right now. So let’s go home, honey.”  
   
Blair and Rafe walked in and Jim handed them the keys for their cars. Joel walked out with Connor and Blair asked, “What the hell was going on?”  
   
“The girls had a night out and found out they love their nights with all of us. What can I say? They love their husbands and us too.” Jim explained.   
   
“Can’t knock that. See you tomorrow, guys.” Rafe said taking off to the parking lot.   
   
“I want you to know, Blair, that if I would have been here, I would have missed you too.”  
   
“God, you’re an angel. I love you.” They kissed for a few moments and then Blair added, “lets get home so we can have fun.”  
   
“I’ll race ya.”  
   
“Boy, next week is going to be fun. Let’s tease them, okay?” Blair asked.   
   
“Nah. I think it’s sweet that they found out they like us that much. Let’s give them a break.” Jim said quietly.   
   
“See ya at home, big man.” Blair rushed out the door for the parking lot and knew he was in for a very romantic night. His lover was a romantic at heart. Thank goddesses for that.   
   
End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 98  
You Know It’s Time To Go Home, When…  
   
 


	99. Bumper Stickers for Everyone!

Sullivan’s Pub Part 99  
Bumper Stickers For Everyone!  
Patt  
   
   
When everyone arrived at Sullivan’s, Connor was ready to go. “Come on, you slackers. Get your butts in gear.” Connor shouted while laughing.   
   
“I take it, this is going to be a good one.” Simon hoped.   
   
“They’re all good ones, Connor.” Jim said sweetly.   
   
“Why thank you, Mr. Ellison. This is a good one. Short but fun. I have to get home early tonight, so it’s not going to take all night long like some of them do.” Connor explained.   
   
Simon suggested, “Why not start then?”  
   
   
Connor: Bumper stickers for everyone to love or hate. Tell me which it will be.   
   
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.   
   
Jim: This is stupid. That’s not what live by the sword actually means, is it?   
   
Blair: Connor, this one is dumb.   
   
Joel: Don’t tell her it’s dumb. Just pass on it if you haven’t got anything to add.  
   
Simon: I don’t think it’s dumb, just don’t quite understand it.   
   
Sully: I think that men with swords live by different rules. They’re real men, not like men with guns.   
   
Jim: very funny, Sully.   
   
Rafe: Hey, I like living by my gun rules.   
   
Brown: He does. It would take too long to understand how the other half would be living.   
   
Rafe: Fuck you, Henri.  
   
Blair: Ding, ding, ding. The prize goes to our very own Rafe for saying fuck you to his beloved Henri, five minutes into the survey.  
   
Rafe: And fuck you too, Sandburg.   
   
Dan: Well, I do live by the sword.   
   
Everyone laughed.   
   
Sam: He does, sort of.   
   
Simon: Connor the next one had better be more fun than this one.   
   
   
Connor: I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.   
   
   
Jim: Boy, I need this one on my SUV. Anyone else?   
   
Blair: Not me. I’m too busy living by the sword.   
   
Jim smacks Blair on the back of his head.   
   
Blair: Ow. Fuck you, Ellison.   
   
Brown: Ding, ding, ding. And Blair Sandburg takes second prize for telling his beloved James Ellison fuck you, ten minutes into the survey.  
   
Blair: And Fuck you, Brown.   
   
Joel: Well, I think I need that bumper sticker. It’s me, totally.   
   
Dan: I have a sign up that says this in my office. Seriously, I do.   
   
Sam: He does. Check it out the next time you go down to see him.   
   
Sully: Well, I think it describes most of us. I know it does me.   
   
Simon: I’m completely in control at all times, so this one doesn’t work for me.   
   
Sully: (Bursts out laughing and falls out of her chair.)  
   
Simon: What? You don’t think I’m in control?   
   
Sully: Simon, you can’t even control our little ones. Get a grip, big boy.   
   
Joel: It’s okay to be out of control sometimes, Simon.   
   
Simon: Not when you’re the boss.  
   
Jim: Well, I like not being in control, then I can blame someone else when things go wrong.   
   
Blair: (Falls off chair laughing.) Good thinking, big man.   
   
Simon: Is it time for the next one yet?  
   
   
Connor: He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.   
   
   
Dan: Oh man, I need this for the morgue. Wouldn’t we all just love it? Course, my boss wouldn’t love it, but who cares, right?  
   
Sam: I wrote it down, sugar. I’ll have a sign made up tomorrow.   
   
Dan: Thank you, baby.   
   
Jim: It is funny, and perfect for Dan.   
   
Blair: Couldn’t agree more.   
   
Simon: Does it bother you when we make the death jokes?   
   
Dan: It kills me, Simon. (Falls out of his chair laughing.)  
   
Rafe: Dan, you are a riot. I love how you say it so casually so that no one expects it and bam… We’re all thrown out of our chairs.   
   
Brown: You are funny, man.   
   
Joel: Too bad it doesn’t work for the rest of us, because it’s a funny saying.   
   
Sully: We could take turns borrowing it from his office.   
   
Simon: Don’t even think about it. Time for the next one, Connor.   
   
   
Connor: She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.   
   
   
Jim: This is perfect for Blair. (Laughing.)  
   
Blair: Keep laughing, monkey boy, and we’ll see who is laughing later when they get no sex.   
   
Jim: I hate when you do that. You always threaten to withhold sex when you don’t get your way.   
   
Simon: He does do that. And it always works. (Laughing.)  
   
Jim: Fuck you, Simon.   
   
Simon: Not tonight, I have a headache. You’ll have to beg Sandburg.   
   
Joel: I do believe that Meggie and Blair are always late. There is nothing funny about it. They make me nuts.   
   
Connor: Does it really bother you when I’m late?   
   
Joel: Yes. The only thing you’re ever on time for is Sullivan’s Pub Survey’s. Tell me what’s wrong with that?  
   
Blair: Well, I guess we’ll have to work on it, Connor. (Sticking his tongue out at Joel.)  
   
Dan: (Laughing.) Maybe you could teach Sam how to be on time too. She’s never late for court, but everything else she’s late for.   
   
Sam: Does this bother you a lot?  
   
Dan: No, I just thought I would mention it. Tristan’s teacher was pissed the other day when she had to wait 30 minutes for you to show up for the meeting.   
   
Sam: I apologized. The Judge wouldn’t let me leave. I had no choice.   
   
Rafe: To people that are late, there are always excuses, aren’t there?  
   
Brown: Are you talking about me?  
   
Rafe: No, I’m talking about them. They’re the ones late, not you.   
   
Simon: Well, I’m never late and Sully is always late. We sort of cancel each other out.   
   
Sully: I’m not always late. Just sometimes.   
   
Simon: We could probably move on before fights start out. As it is, the late people are running behind. (Throws back his head and howls with laughter.)  
   
   
Connor: You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.   
   
   
Jim: This wouldn’t work in our line of work.   
   
Blair: It might.   
   
Jim: It would never work. It would come back and bite us in the ass.   
   
Simon: I’m glad you know this much, Ellison. Too bad Sandburg might have to go to classes on learning how to remain silent himself.   
   
Sully: Simon, that wasn’t nice.   
   
Joel: But it was funny. (Laughing.)  
   
Simon: I think this one’s dumb. Let’s move on to the next one.   
   
   
Connor: Honk if you love peace and quiet.   
   
Simon: See, this one makes no sense. If you honk, it won’t be peaceful and quiet anymore. Only a moron would honk if they loved peace and quiet.   
   
Jim: Simon, I think some of these are just meant for fun.   
   
Blair: Yeah, like the one that Jim was having fun with a while ago.   
   
Jim: Oh fuck you.   
   
Dan: This one’s looking up, Sam.   
   
Sam: Yes it is. We love when Jim and Blair tell each other to fuck off.   
   
Rafe: I think this one's stupid.   
   
Brown: Like they all aren’t?   
   
Joel: Hey, if you don’t like doing the survey’s don’t come anymore.   
   
Sully: Joel, don’t tell people not to come. He has every right to voice his opinion. Even if his opinion sucks. (Laughing.)  
   
Joel: Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry, Brown.   
   
Simon: God, is it time to move on?   
   
   
Connor: Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.   
   
Everyone laughs.   
   
Jim: Well this one works for me because I’m always making a fool out of myself.   
   
Blair: He does.   
   
Rafe: I agree.   
   
Blair: Just like Rafe does, eh Henri?   
   
Rafe: Shut up, Sandburg.   
   
Jim: Don’t tell him to shut up. He can talk whenever he wants.   
   
Blair: I love when he pounds his chest and yells like Tarzan. He’s so fucking hot.   
   
Jim: Hey, I was sticking up for you.   
   
Blair: Jim, you don’t need to. I can handle Rafe by myself. Hell, Rayney can handle Rafe by herself.   
   
Sam: Oh that’s a good one. That little Rayne has Brian Rafe wrapped around her little fingers.   
   
Rafe: How did this get to be ‘pick on Rafe night?’  
   
Dan: Henri asked us earlier if it could be and we all agreed. (Laughing.)  
   
Sully: You are all nuts and I love every one of you. I can hardly get my breath. Stop it.   
   
Simon: Let’s move on before we have to give Sully mouth to mouth.   
   
Jim: Wait a minute! That sounds like fun.   
   
Simon: Shut up, Ellison. Move it, Connor.  
   
   
Connor: A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.   
   
   
Jim: Does this sound like Blair to anyone else?   
   
Simon: Sure does. It’s Sandburg Silly.   
   
Sully: It does sound like Blair and I, for one, love that about him.   
   
Sam: Me too.   
   
Dan: But it’s true. It would be night.   
   
Sam: Okay, it sounds like Dan, too.   
   
Rafe: Is it just me, or are these really dumb bumper stickers?  
   
Brown: You know you can leave anytime you want.   
   
Rafe: Fuck you. I don’t have to leave.   
   
Brown: You don’t sound like you really like being here anyhow. Just leave.   
   
Joel: All right, what’s going on with Rafe and Brown? Spill, guys.   
   
Rafe: There is nothing going on. He’s a pain in the ass tonight and it’s not a good one.   
   
Brown looked very sad and didn’t say a word.   
   
Jim: All right, guys. What’s going on?   
   
Rafe: He thinks I was looking at a woman in records today. I wasn’t.   
   
Brown: You were.   
   
Joel: Well, in his defense, I watch women sometimes. None of them, like I watch Meggie, but I still love to look at women.   
   
Simon: He’s gay. Why is he looking at women?  
   
Brown: My question exactly.   
   
Rafe: I wasn’t watching her or anything else. I was being nice to her. She was getting the records I needed. I was just being kind.   
   
Brown: Kind of an asshole, that is.   
   
Sully: Jim and Blair, do you ever do this?   
   
Jim: Do what?  
   
Sully: Watch a woman and get caught by your partner.   
   
Jim: Yeah, I’ve caught Blair on many occasions.   
   
Blair: I was just being nice too. You know they don’t have the right equipment.   
   
Connor: So Jim, if he stared and smiled at a man, would it bother you?  
   
Jim: Yes, it does bother me. He does it all the time. But I’m getting used to just putting up with it.   
   
Blair: You know that no one means a thing to me besides you, big man.   
   
Jim: I know. But it still hurts now and then.   
   
Sam: Well, if Danny started smiling at another woman, I would smack him upside the head.   
   
Dan: She would.   
   
Simon: I think we had all better watch what we do around our mates.   
   
Brown: So if I wasn’t there, it would have been fine?   
   
Sully: No, it wouldn’t have been fine. It hurts to find out that we aren’t enough for our mates. So let’s all try and stop staring and smiling at others to make our mates' jealous. It hurts too much.   
   
Simon: I say we move this. Connor has to leave early.   
   
   
Connor stood up and said, “That’s all I wrote for tonight. I’ll make it up to you next week. It’ll be funnier and longer. See you next week. Oh, Henri, Rafe loves you so give him a break.”  
   
“I will.” Brown answered.   
   
“Night, everyone.” Connor and Joel said as they walked out the door.   
   
“So Jim, do I really upset you when I flirt?” Blair asked seriously.   
   
“Yeah, it bothers me. I have no self-esteem and you know it.” Jim reminded him.   
   
“I’m sorry. I’ll try and keep myself under control. Night, everyone.” Jim and Blair left next.   
   
“Henri and Rafe, you make up before you leave. Understood?” Sully asked.   
   
“Understood.” Rafe said, but they all noticed that Brown didn’t say a word.   
   
“Night, everyone.” Sully and Simon called out as they walked through the doorway.   
   
Dan stood up and asked, “Do you love him, Rafe?”  
   
“With all my heart and he knows it.”  
   
“You might need to show him some more.” Sam suggested.   
   
“I’ll show him tonight. Night, Sam and Dan.” Rafe said smiling.   
   
The two men were alone and Brown said, “I’m not happy. You had a look on your face that said you miss women. I can’t compete with that, Bri.”  
   
“H, you know I love you. I don’t want a woman. I do like to flirt a little now and then to see if I still have it, but that’s it. I don’t want anyone else. Man or woman.” Rafe hoped he would be forgiven.   
   
“Let’s go home. I’m tired.” Henri said as he stood up.   
   
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you? Are you leaving me?” Rafe looked scared.   
   
“No, I’m not leaving you. I love you too much. But I wish you loved me the same way.”  
   
“I’ll work on it, H. I promise. I love you.” Henri was pulled into Rafe’s arms for a soul shattering kiss. Henri was reminded quickly of why he loved being with Rafe. He was the best fucking kisser he had ever been with.   
   
“I love you, Bri.”  
   
“I love you. Now lets go home and make love all night long.” Rafe pulled him out to the SUV and they were off.   
   
Every night couldn’t be a perfect and fun night at Sullivan’s Pub. But the boys would work on it. There was love there, they just had to build it up a little bit.   
   
End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 99  
Bumper Stickers For Everyone!   
   
   
 


	100. Talk to Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafe needs to have a talk with Henri.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 100  
Talk To Him  
Patt  
   
Jim had the day off and was looking forward to some Spring cleaning. He was going to tear into the bedroom closets and take out everything they didn’t wear anymore, or that didn’t fit anymore. He had no sooner started in Jade’s room when the doorbell rang.   
   
Jim opened the door to a sad looking Rafe. “Come on in, looks like you need a friend.”  
   
“I could use one right now. I have some questions to ask you, but you have to promise that you won’t yell at me. You’re going to try and help me, not upset me. Okay?” Rafe inquired.   
   
“Sure, sit down. Want a beer or a soda?”  
   
“I’ll take a Dr. Pepper if you have one. Thanks.” Rafe took the Dr. Pepper from Jim as the older man sat down to listen.   
   
“Jim, do you ever think about being with anyone else? I mean, ever?”  
   
“Yeah, I have. You know that for a long while we didn’t have sex and I wanted to look elsewhere because I was being fucking selfish. Now tell me what’s going on with you and Brown.”  
   
“He caught me flirting with that girl in records and he’s not been the same since. I know I fucked up once. I know that. I’m not going to do it again. But do I have to give up looking for the rest of my life?” Rafe was shocked that Jim wasn’t yelling at him.   
   
“First of all, it’s your business. Secondly, I think that we all need a little boost now and then. I had Marilyn in records flirt with me the other day and it made that day become brighter. You know how much I love Blair, but now and then it’s nice to see that someone else might be interested. I would never fuck around on him, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good to have someone notice you. Is this what you’re feeling?” Jim put his hand on Rafe’s knee and tried to calm his friend.   
   
“Henri caught me flirting with Sandra in records and he’s not going to let it drop. He won’t talk to me about it right now and he’s not sleeping with me. He’s been sleeping in Remington’s room for the last five days. I’m so lonely and I want him back in my life the way we used to be. Tell me what to do. I’ll do anything for him, you know that.” Rafe finally took a breath and looked into Jim’s eyes and saw only compassion and was shocked.   
   
“You need to stop the flirting. Blair does this now and then and it really hurts. So I know how Henri is feeling. Having someone flirt with you might make you feel good, but flirting back, only makes your mate feel terrible. I’m sure Henri thinks he’s not keeping you satisfied. I know this is how I feel when Blair does it. I pull away from him until he talks to me. We work it out and I know that Blair wouldn’t sleep with anyone else but me, but it still bothers me. I imagine that poor Henri is sitting at work today worried about what you’re doing and with who.”  
   
“You think he thinks I’m fooling around on him? I wouldn’t do that ever again. I swear. I love him like you wouldn’t believe.” Rafe explained quickly.  
   
“You need to tell him exactly what you’ve told me today. Henri will come around, I promise. Why don’t you call him at work and ask if he can come home early. Talking is the best thing.” Jim suggested.   
   
“Jim, when Blair flirts, do you ever think about leaving him?”  
   
Jim thought for a second before he answered. “Sometimes, but then I remember how much we love each other and know I couldn’t make it a week without him. I just talk to him now and we get it all out into the open. I used to let it fester. Not any more.”   
   
“Has Blair ever slept in another room or made you go sleep in another room?”  
   
“Yes. He slept with Rayne numerous times when we fought about him liking the fairer sex too much. He doesn’t see it as a bad thing, but I just keep telling him how much it hurts me and I think he’s beginning to figure it all out.” Jim was surprised at how easily this was all coming out. He never ever thought he would admit to any of these feelings, let alone to Rafe.   
   
“So you expect Blair to never look at anyone else again?”  
   
“I didn’t say that, Rafe. He’s going to be flirting forever. It’s in his nature. He can’t help it. But I’ve asked him not to do it in front of me. I’m a little more secure now. I don’t flirt with anyone that I know of.” Jim explained.   
   
“Jim, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you flirt.” Rafe smiled.   
   
“I flirt? When?”  
   
“With Matthew down in records. That guy is warm for your form and you love it. You flirt with him every time I see you down there. So, do you do it in front of Blair?” Rafe asked.   
   
“Hell, I didn’t even know I did it. Shit… I’m going to have to watch myself, I wasn’t aware of it. I must have liked him paying attention, I guess. Now I have to talk to Blair about that. Damn it all.”  
   
“If I called Henri, could I ask him to come here so you could help me get through this without us breaking up?” Rafe pleaded.   
   
“Brian, it’s something the two of you should figure out. Not the three of us.”  
   
“Please? Pretty please?” Rafe pleaded again.   
   
“Fine, tell him to come here if Simon lets him off.” Jim stood up to make another pot of coffee. This was going to be a long fucking morning. So much for cleaning the closets.   
   
Rafe called Brown and told him he wanted to see him as soon as possible at Jim’s house. When Rafe walked into Jades room he laughed. Jim had every single thing from the closet ripped out and thrown across the room. “What are you doing to poor little Jade’s room?”  
   
“I’m going to give her to you if she doesn’t start taking better care of her stuff. While we wait for Henri, why don’t you help me clean this mess up? I’ve got to get some of these things cleared out of here.” Jim suggested.   
   
The two men worked side by side figuring out what clothing was too small and what toys Jade had outgrown. “Jim, you should save these in the attic for Jadey. She might like them when she’s older and has children of her own. These things are all like brand new. At least save the toys that came from her Aunts and Uncles.”  
   
“That’s a good idea, Rafe. We’ll box them up and label each box for the age. She’ll love it when she gets older. Thanks for thinking of it.”  
   
Before long they were done with Jades room and it looked downright empty. They taped up the boxes and labeled them and put them in the attic.   
   
“Want to help me in Drake’s room next?” Jim asked.   
   
“Sure, we’ll keep busy until H gets here.”  
   
Drake’s room was much cleaner than Jade's. He took after Jim and had a place for everything. It was easily cleaned out and boxed up. They started on Rayne’s room when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it, you keep cleaning.” Jim laughed all the way to the front door.   
   
“Hey H, come on in.”  
   
“Hi, Jim. What’s going on? Rafe said you wanted to talk to me.” Brown walked in and looked around for his lover. “Where is he?”  
   
“I have him busy in Rayne’s room, cleaning out the closets and dressers. We got Drake and Jade’s room all finished while we waited for you. He’s quite the worker when he’s nervous.” Jim grabbed a soda from the fridge and threw it to Henri.   
   
Henri smiled and caught it and asked, “Why is he nervous?”  
   
“Because he thinks you’re breaking up with him. He’s heartbroken and doesn’t know what to do.” Jim figured he would break it to him a little at a time.   
   
“Jim, I don’t like it that he still flirts with women and men. He does it all the time. Not just now and then. Did he tell you that?”  
   
“Yeah, he did. And he asked me how I handled Blair flirting and I told him I didn’t like it at all, but we talked about these things now. I used to keep them bottled up inside of me, but now we discuss everything. You two need to do the same. He’s not going to sleep around, Henri. He’s just flattered that someone still wants him. We all do it.”  
   
Rafe came walking out and said, “Hey, Henri.” He didn’t move over to kiss him so Henri got up and kissed him first.   
   
“Hey, babe. You don’t need Jim to tell me things. We can work things out ourselves.” Henri tried to explain.   
   
“You’re sleeping in another room, H. I miss you. I need you and you’re not there for me.”  
   
“Bri, I was really hurt about you flirting, but Jim’s been telling me that we all do it from time to time, so maybe I’m being too hard on you.” Henri smiled over at his love.   
   
“I was wrong for doing it in front of you. That was tacky, even for me. I’m sorry, H. I’m really sorry. I won’t ever fuck around on you again. I swear. I know you probably don’t trust me anymore, but I swear it will always be only you.”  
   
“I know you won’t. I do trust you. You’re a good man, Bri, but I was just hurt. I’ll get over it.” Rafe leaned in for a kiss and Jim went in to finish Rayne’s room while they continued their talk.   
   
“I told Jim that he was flirting with Matthew in records and he was shocked. He said he swears he didn’t notice it. So now he has to talk to Blair about that. I guess we all do it. Do you notice other people at work, H?”  
   
“Yeah, now and then. I’ve been known to talk a little longer than necessary with Matthew in records. He’s quite good looking. I can see why Jim flirted. I guess we all do it. I just wasn’t aware of it.” Henri smiled over at Rafe to let him know that he was not angry any longer.   
   
“So will you move back into our room tonight? And will you let me make love to you all night long?” Rafe asked hopefully.   
   
“Yes and yes. I love you, Bri. I’m sorry I over-reacted. I’ll work on that in the future. We’ll put the kiddo’s to bed early tonight.”  
   
Jim came walking out of the bedroom and said, “It’s none of my business, but you still have about three hours before you have to pick the kids up. Why not go home and make the best of it?”  
   
“Good thinking, man. Come on, Brian.” Brown was out the door so fast that Jim roared with laughter.   
   
“Someone wants someone very badly. Go get ‘em, big boy.” Jim clapped Rafe on the shoulder and pushed him out the door. As he shut it, he had a big grin on his face. He loved his friends and would always be there for them, but what he really loved was happy endings. Nothing beat happy endings for all of their friends. Jim was quite pleased with how it all turned out.   
   
Down at Rafe and Brown’s house, the two men were in bed, naked already half-way to paradise when the phone rang.   
   
“Want me to get it?” Rafe asked.   
   
“You better. In case it’s about the kids.” Brown replied.   
   
“Rafe.”  
   
“Detective Rafe? This is Mrs. Saunders from the Day Center. Remington is running a fever and we need you to pick him up as soon as possible.”  
   
“We’ll be there as soon as we can. Thank you for calling, Mrs. Saunders.” Rafe hung up the phone and said, “it’s Remmey. He’s running a fever. This will have to wait, babe. Let’s go get our family and get them settled for the evening.”  
   
“Works for me.” Brown said as he started to dress.   
   
“If you keep saying that, I’m not going to let you watch Hunter any more.” Rafe laughed as he finished lacing up his shoes.   
   
“Sorry. I channel through old Hunter episodes. I can’t help it. My wonderful lover bought me season one. I had to watch it over and over again. You ready?” Brown asked.   
   
“I’m ready. Let’s go and get our family.” Rafe smiled like he hadn’t in ages. He was one lucky son-of-a-bitch and wasn’t going to screw this up.   
   
Jim had been so right about talking things out. Rafe realized, he would now have to put up with Jim being right about that. Smiling he remembered that he didn’t care. Life was good.   
   
End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 100  
Talk To Him!


	101. Funny Quotes

Sullivan's Pub Part 101  
Funny Quotes  
Patt

   
   
Megan Connor knew that tonight’s Survey was going to be a fun one if it killed all of them. She smiled as they all filed into the room, especially when she saw her husband. He always managed to bring a quick smile to the lovely woman’s face every time she thought of him or saw him. Joel was not only a fantastic lover and husband, but was the best of friend to be had by all.   
   
“Hey, Connor. What’s up for tonight?” Jim asked.   
   
“Hey, Jim. Tonight it’s funny quotes. Whether you agree with them or disagree with them, or if you think any of them remind you of any of our gang.” Connor explained.   
   
As Joel sat down, he said, “So are we going to start? I’m ready for fun.”  
   
“Sit, sit, sit…” Connor ordered and smiled as they all sat down around the large table.   
   
   
Connor: Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.  
   
Blair: I think this works for always forgive your mates. Nothing annoys Jim more. (Laughing.)  
   
Jim: Very funny, but also very true.   
   
Rafe: I agree with them.   
   
Brown: When you’re nice to me you’re just trying to annoy me?   
   
Rafe: No, when I forgive you for something, I’m trying to annoy you.   
   
Brown: Well, now I have to think on that.   
   
Joel: I think we’re putting too much thought into it. I think this saying is very true for all of us.   
   
Simon: I agree with Joel.   
   
Sully: I think you might be right, Joel.   
   
Dan: He is right.   
   
Sam: Megan, is he hard to live with being so smart? (Smiling at Joel.)  
   
Connor: Nope, he’s never hard to live with. Except when I want him to be hard. (Laughs.)  
   
Simon: We’re only on the first one and sex has already been brought up. Could we move it to the next one quickly?   
   
   
Connor: If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?  
   
Blair: This is ‘way’ true. Have you seen how much those damn Barbie friends cost? And of course Rayne and Jade think they need all of them.   
   
Jim: We try not to buy all of them, but if we don’t they use their allowance to buy them. It’s a vicious circle.   
   
Sam: I love buying the dolls. They’re so cool.   
   
Dan: I’ve never had to buy one, so I’m lucky. Sam does all the doll buying.   
   
Sam: I think it’s time for you to go with me next time. In fact, let’s go tomorrow and get some new clothes and dolls.   
   
Dan: Drat, foiled again.   
   
Joel: (Laughing.) Good one, Dan. I buy all of the toys with Megan. We like picking out cute things for the girls.   
   
Rafe: Well, Henri picks out all of Lancey’s toys, so I’m still safe.   
   
Brown: You don’t know what you’re missing. It’s great fun.   
   
Simon: I wouldn’t be caught dead buying Barbie toys.   
   
Sully: He doesn’t. But I love buying them and they like me better because of it.   
   
Simon: Do you tell them they’re only from you? (Looking horrified.)  
   
Sully: You’re so easy. God, I love you. (Laughing.)   
   
Simon: You’ll pay for it later, babe. Could we move on now, Connor?   
   
   
Connor: When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.  
   
Jim: This should be my saying and my saying alone.   
   
Blair: But, Jim, it happens to all of us.   
   
Jim: Connor, will you write this one down. I like it.   
   
Connor: I just did. You want it on a shirt or a plaque?   
   
Jim: Shirt. Thanks.   
   
Sam: I want to get a shirt tonight, just not with this saying.   
   
Dan: Then wait until you find the perfect saying and you can put in an order to Megan then.   
   
Simon: We’re supposed to be discussing the quote, not the tee-shirts.   
   
Sully: Simon honey, we discuss anything we want to.   
   
Rafe: Boy, is that ever true.   
   
Brown: I like this saying and I’d like it on a plaque. Thanks, Connor. I’ll pay you when it comes in.   
   
Simon: Do you think it’s time to move on?   
   
   
Connor: I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.  
   
Jim: That’s gross. I don’t want a tee of this saying.   
   
Blair: But I do. This one is great, Connor. I’ll take one of these in neon green.   
   
Simon: Do you want to stick out like a sore thumb on purpose, Sandburg?  
   
Blair: I love being the sore thumb. So there.   
   
Jim: I guess he told you, eh, Simon?   
   
Brown: I’ll take this one in a Tee, only I want neon yellow.   
   
Rafe: You and Sandburg are freaks.   
   
Blair: You’re just jealous.   
   
Joel: I like this one, but not enough to wear it. But I wouldn’t mind saying it now and then.   
   
Dan: I’m still waiting for the perfect one for me.   
   
Sam: I am too.   
   
Sully: I like this one a lot. Maybe a small plaque for my office here.   
   
Simon: Okay, time to move on.   
   
   
Connor: I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made my horn louder.  
   
Sam: Okay, I want this one in a tee. It’s perfect for me. I lay on my horn all the time.   
   
Dan: She does. She has no patience. This is funny, Connor.   
   
Brown: I love this one, too. I’ll take this in a shirt. Do you need my size, Connor?   
   
Connor: I know you wear an XXL. I’ve got it, big boy.   
   
Rafe: Don’t be calling my man a big boy. Only I get to call him that.   
   
Jim: I like this saying. I’d like a shirt, in grey. XL, if you don’t mind.   
   
Blair: Good for you, Jim. You’re starting to loosen up with the group.   
   
Jim: If I were any looser, I would be in slut heaven.   
   
Simon: I knew this would end up being about sex. Leave it to Ellison to bring it around.   
   
Sully: I would like a tee, in light green. Everyone says I look good in green.  
   
Sam: It’s cuz we have red hair. And besides you look good in everything and Simon is a butthead for not saying it before me.   
   
Simon: I do like her in everything, but prefer her in nothing. So there.   
   
Everyone: Whoo hoo. Simon is loose now. (Laughing.)   
   
Simon: Could we go on?   
   
   
Connor: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.  
   
Jim: Another great one for a shirt. Light blue, if you don’t mind.   
   
Blair: I’ll take mine in light green.   
   
Jim: We can’t wear the same shirts. That’s just dorky.   
   
Blair: Well, Mr. Dork, I’m wearing mine on a different day.  
   
Simon: I’ll take a shirt in gray.   
   
Sully: Honey, get it in coral. You look gorgeous in coral.   
   
Simon: Fine, Connor. Make it a coral one.   
   
Joel: I want mine in jade. I love this saying. I think we should all wear them the same day. Like to the pub or something.   
   
Rafe: Good idea. I’ll take mine in peach. And I think we should wear them next week.   
   
Brown: I’ll take neon orange. I’ll be wearing mine next time.   
   
Dan: I would like mine in royal blue. We all seem to be getting one, so let’s wear them next week.   
   
Sam: You’re all insane. Make mine pink.   
   
Sully: Okay, I want one in olive. I love olive green.   
   
Simon: Now that we’re done putting orders in, let’s move on.   
   
   
Connor: When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.  
   
Sam: This is a riot. I say we all have this one made in the same color. What does everyone think?   
   
Sully: I love the idea. This one is funny.   
   
Jim: It doesn’t work for all of us, though. I’m always in my right mind.   
   
Blair: Then you’re left mind would get pretty crowded. So deal with it.   
   
Simon: (laughing.) I think this would be good in white.   
   
Joel: I agree.   
   
Dan: Does anyone else think the shirt wouldn’t fit their personality?   
   
Rafe: I agree with Ellison, but I’m not going to make a big thing about it.   
   
Brown: That’s because your left side of the brain is too busy to make a big thing out of it. (Laughs.)   
   
Dan: Make it a white one for me. Let’s do the letters in something big, bold and easy to see from a block away. (Laughing.)  
   
Simon: Could we move on?   
   
   
Connor: Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.   
   
Jim: Not trying to be mean, but this screamed Blair to me.   
   
Blair: It’s okay, babe. It did to me too.   
   
Brown: I think it screams Blair and Dan.   
   
Dan: Hey, how did I get drug into this? (Laughs.)  
   
Rafe: No one asks to be brought into any of this, this drag us all kicking and screaming.   
   
Sam: I think it reminds me of all of us. We’re all a little bit off.   
   
Simon: Says you. And you’re off, woman.   
   
Sully: Don’t pick on my sister, big boy.   
   
Simon: I love when you call me big boy.   
   
Sully: Do we need to make a trip to my office?   
   
Joel: Yeah, go ahead. We’ll just wait here and talk about the two of you.   
   
Simon: (Blushing.) No, it can wait. Connor, can we move?  
   
   
Connor: Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.  
   
Blair: I hear this one screaming Jim.   
   
Jim: It’s true. How sick is that?   
   
Joel: Well, it doesn’t always happen this way, does it?   
   
Jim: No, not always.   
   
Dan: I refuse to believe this as truth.   
   
Sam: Dan thinks the Army and so on are good for a person.   
   
Simon: Well, it can’t hurt. Builds character and all of that. Right, Jim?   
   
Jim: Don’t ask me. I was a Ranger, and I really did meet them and have to kill them. I didn’t like doing it.   
   
Sam: Well, that’s good.   
   
Sully: Jim, if Drake said he wanted to join the service, would you object?   
   
Jim: I might. But we could talk about it. He wants to be a cop right now. We need to think about that too.   
   
Dan: You don’t want him to follow in your footsteps?   
   
Jim: I don’t want anything to happen to him. I’d rather see him be a vet or something.   
   
Blair: I think Drake would make a terrific cop, so I would say good things to him.   
   
Rafe: And it wouldn’t scare you that he would go though the same shit we all go through?   
   
Blair: Yeah, but no matter what he does or where he goes, we’re going to be scared. So I want him to be happy.   
   
Joel: You’re a good man, Blair.   
   
Blair: Thanks, Joel.   
   
Brown: Well, I agree 100% with Sandburg. I wouldn’t be thrilled, but I want the kids to be happy. Lancey wants to be a cop and Rafe is having a cow about it.   
   
Jim: The more we object, the more appealing it looks to them. So just sit back and hope they won’t.   
   
Simon: Is it time to move on?   
   
   
Connor: Death is hereditary.  
   
Blair: DUH!!!!  
   
Simon: I think we could move right past this one, Connor.   
   
   
Connor: There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.  
   
Sully: This screams Simon.   
   
Simon: It does not.   
   
Everyone laughs loud and hard.   
   
Jim: I think we’re all a little like this.   
   
Blair: I know Jim and Simon are.   
   
Brown: I know Jim and Simon are, too.   
   
Rafe: It yelled their names to me, also.   
   
Sully: Simon, you are a little like this, but so is Jim.   
   
Sam: I think it screamed Blair.   
   
Blair: Me? I don’t ever think I’m right.   
   
Everyone laughs.   
   
Dan: I think its Blair too.   
   
Simon: Not so funny when it’s you in the hot spot, is it?   
   
Joel: I think we’re all a little bit like this. So I agree with Jim.   
   
Simon: Good. We can move on now.   
   
   
Connor: A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.  
   
Dan: We need this made into a shirt for Blair. It’s perfect.   
   
Simon: I think we all agree with that. Make it slate blue and he’ll have himself a perfect shirt.   
   
   
Connor: When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.  
   
Joel: I agree with this one. I want a shirt. Any color.   
   
Jim: I agree with this one, too. I’d like a shirt also.   
   
Simon: Let’s all agree and get shirts for another night of Sullivan’s Pub. What do you say?  
   
Everyone: Here, here.   
   
Simon: Oh would you look at the time.   
   
   
Connor: Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.  
   
Jim: Geeze, this is really negative.   
   
Blair: You mean, like you?   
   
Jim: Fuck you, Sandburg.   
   
Blair: Not if you call me Sandburg.   
   
Everyone laughs but Jim.   
   
Connor: Who else thinks Jim is negative?   
   
Sully: I think he can be, but he got that from hanging with Simon.   
   
Simon: What in the hell are you talking about? I didn’t make him negative.   
   
Joel: I think both Simon and Jim can be negative sometimes.   
   
Simon and Jim: Fuck you, Joel. (Then they laugh.)  
   
Sam: I think we’re all a little negative from time to time.   
   
Dan: I agree with my honey.   
   
Rafe: I think Simon and Jim are the only gloomy gusses in this group.   
   
Brown: I don’t know how to tell you this, but you are too.   
   
Everyone laughs again.   
   
Simon: Could we move on? Or would I be too negative? (Smiles.)  
   
   
Connor: Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.  
   
Sam: This is for all of us. I think we need shirts.   
   
Simon: We’ll all agree with Sam and move to the next one.   
   
   
Connor: I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.  
   
Blair: This is me.   
   
Jim: This is all of us.   
   
Simon: Good. We’ll take a shirt of this one and move on. This is going well, Conner.   
   
   
Connor: Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.  
   
Simon: This goes without saying.   
   
Sully: It sure does.   
   
Jim: I liked this survey, Connor. It was fun. Can we go home now? Sorry, that was the negative me. (Laughing.)  
   
Blair: I liked it too and I don’t want to die either.   
   
Jim: I don’t want you to ever die, baby.   
   
Blair: You are ‘so’ going to get lucky tonight.   
   
Rafe: I don’t want Henri to die either. We came close and that scared me enough.   
   
Brown: Then you’ll have to go first. (Laughs.)  
   
Sully: I don’t want Simon to die either.   
   
Simon: Sully, we all have to die. I’m older than you so chances are I’ll die before you.   
   
Sully: I know, but I don’t want you to.   
   
Joel: Well, Meggie knows I can’t live without her, so she can’t go first.   
   
Dan: You all are so darn cute and sweet. Sam, I’m making a new rule. You can’t go before me. I’ve almost been there and didn’t like it a bit.   
   
Sam: I promise you, honey.   
   
Simon: Are we done yet?   
   
Connor: We’re done, folks. See you next week.   
   
Jim: Connor, we’ll see you in the morning.   
   
Connor: Not for Sullivan’s Pub you won’t. (Snickering.)  
   
Everyone called out goodbyes and walked out to the parking lot. Another good night at Sullivan’s pub. Great friends are indeed the answer to anyone’s prayers. Thankfully, this bunch got a lot of prayers answered.   
   
End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 101  
Funny Quotes  
 


	102. Maharishi's Guide to Zen

Sullivan’s Pub Part 102  
Maharishi's Guide to Zen  
Patt 

For Sonya

Thank you to Krisser for the ammo and Mary for the beta. 

 

Everyone met at Sullivan’s Pub and acted like they hadn’t seen each other in ages. Thankfully, none of them drove each other crazy. Yet…

“Hi, everyone, want to sit down so we can get started? I have a good one from Krisser tonight. You know she always gives us good stuff to work with.” Connor said as everyone went and got seated. 

“So what’s this one about, Connor?” Jim asked. 

“Maharishi’s Guide to Zen.” She replied and everyone broke out in laughter. “Now tell me if you agree with the saying and if it reminds you of anyone you know.”

 

   
Connor: Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone. 

 

Jim and Simon slid off their chairs laughing their asses off. 

Jim: I believe this reminds me of something I would say, but I could see Sandburg saying it too. 

Blair: I would say it, but I don’t see you saying it. 

Rafe: Do you live on another planet? This is so Jim and Simon. 

Simon: Wait a minute, how did I get drug into this? 

Sully: You would say it, Simon. I wouldn’t. 

Dan: Yes, I agree that Jim and Simon would say it. I can’t see Blair saying it at all. 

Brown: I see Rafe saying it. So he’s lumped in there with the other two. 

Joel: I see Jim and Simon saying it, but can’t quite see Rafe saying it. 

Brown: Boy, do you have them fooled, Bri. 

Rafe: Yeah, I guess I would say it if someone bugged me enough. 

Jim: Doesn’t anyone else feel this way? 

Sam: I do. I would say this. Sometimes I want to say it to all of you. 

Simon: Very funny, Sam. 

Dan: She was serious. Sometimes she gets tired of being around people and has to be alone. 

Jim: So Joel, do you see yourself thinking it or maybe for Connor? 

Joel: Meggie would say it with ease. She gets pissed of easily these days. 

Sam: Is something wrong, Meg?

Connor: No, I just get tired of people sometimes and take it out on poor Joel. 

Joel: It’s okay honey bear, I don’t mind. 

Jim: They’re so damn cute, aren’t they, Chief?

Blair: Darling, are we going to talk about this one all night? 

Simon: Hey, that’s my job. Connor, move this along. 

__________________________________________________ 

Connor:   The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire. 

 

Jim: What the hell does this mean? 

Joel: Must be some type of Zen. 

Blair: Falls out of his chair laughing at Joel and Jim. 

Jim: What’s he laughing at Joel? 

Joel: Got me, I’m not married to the man. 

Simon: I don’t get it either. So let’s just move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it. 

 

Jim: (Laughing) We do this to Simon all the time. 

Simon: Stop laughing, everyone, he does take my paper. I always get a used paper. 

Sully: Then get up earlier, grouchy. 

Simon: Why don’t you yell at Jim for taking our paper every morning? 

Blair: Because he really doesn’t mind, he just likes to act tough. 

Simon: Shut up, Sandburg. 

Joel: Don’t tell him to shut up. He can say anything he wants here. 

Blair: In that case, guess what Jim and I did last night. 

Jim: Chief, say it and die. 

Dan: (Laughing.) You are no fun, Ellison. 

Sam: So does anyone else like to take anyone’s newspaper? 

Rafe: We buy our own. We’re not as cheap as Ellison. 

Brown: Remington gets it for us and calls himself our paperboy. 

Everyone laughs. 

Simon: I think it’s safe to move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.

 

Jim: This is true for me. I like this saying. 

Blair: This is probably true for everyone. 

Joel: I know it works for us. 

Simon: You all are sex crazed fools, you know that right? 

Sully: Simon, if I don’t give you any for three weeks or so, what are you going to be saying? 

Simon: I think it’s a true saying also. 

Everyone laughs. 

Dan: It’s us for sure. 

Sam: I agree. 

Rafe: I like this saying. I wouldn’t mind a plaque that says this. 

Brown: You are not putting that up at the house. 

Rafe: You’re no fun what-so-ever. 

Simon: I think we could move on now, Connor.

 

Connor: Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 

 

Jim: This is true. I’ve told Blair often not to do the paperwork so quickly, it spoils Simon and we’ll never get a raise. 

Blair: He does say that, but I like to please Simon. (Bursts out laughing.)

Simon: Fuck both of you. 

Sully: What a come back line, honey. 

Simon: And you are going to get it when we get home. 

Sully: Oh goody. 

Sam: They are sex starved. I’m jealous. 

Dan: You don’t have to be, you’re going to get it too. 

Sam: Oh goody. 

Rafe: I’m feeling left out. 

Brown: What the hell does this have to do with what we’re talking about? 

Joel: This subject is a little boring I guess, so they moved on to something they were more comfortable with. 

Jim: Hey Joel, don’t explain things too well or you won’t get promoted, if you know what I mean. 

Everyone laughs and Simon bellows, “Time to move on, Connor.”

 

Connor: Remember, no one is listening until you fart. 

 

Blair: (Sliding out of his chair, laughing his fool head off.) This is so true. 

Jim: You do this a lot, do you? 

Blair: You’ve never had this happen? 

Jim: Not that I recall. 

Blair: That’s right; he doesn’t burp or fart in front of anyone. 

Simon: How do you have control over that? I know I have no control. And this has happened to me a few times. 

Sully: Thankfully, it’s never happened to me. But Jim just seems a little anal about that. (Falls out of her chair laughing.)

Rafe: I’ve never done this either. I’m with Ellison. 

Brown: (Laughing) He’s not kidding. He’s a lot like Ellison. Blair is more like me. We do it and laugh. 

Jim: Do what and laugh? 

Dan: I think he meant fart, Jim. 

Sam: You guys are too funny. 

Joel: I’ve had this happen before, but thankfully, I was by Blair and just blamed him. 

Everyone laughs. 

Simon: I see another quote off in the future.

 

Connor: Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else. 

 

Jim: Tell me about it. I’m just like Rafe and Simon. 

Blair: And I’m just like Joel and Dan. Who are the girls like? 

Sully: Connor and Sam are a lot alike. I’m more like Joel and Blair. 

Rafe: How about Henri? 

Jim: He’s in a class all his own. (Smiling.)

Brown: You’re so sweet. 

Rafe: You’re so fucking sweet. (Growling)

Joel: Oh look, Rafe is pissed off at Ellison for giving a compliment to Brown before he did. 

Rafe: I am not. 

Dan: You are. 

Brown: You’re so cute when you’re jealous. 

Rafe: I’m not jealous, I’m just sick of Jim. 

Blair: How mature. (Sticks his tongue out at Rafe.)

Simon: I see this one going downhill, so how about the next one?

 

Connor: Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 

 

Jim: What does this mean? 

Blair: Maybe it means don’t get in over your head. 

Jim: Then why didn’t it just say so. 

Blair: Because it’s Zen. 

They all laugh. 

Simon: I think this is a good saying. Take things slower and make sure you know what you’re doing. 

Sully: I agree with my honey. 

Joel: I like this saying also. Good one, Meggie. 

Connor: It wasn’t me, it was Krisser. 

Rafe: Is that Sgt. Krisser down in Robbery? 

Connor: That’s the one. I didn’t know you knew her. 

Brown: Do we really care? 

Rafe: Now who’s jealous? 

Brown: I don’t even know her. 

Dan: I think she’s a doll for giving Megan all of these fun survey polls. 

Sam: I agree. 

Simon: Did this quote say, what do you think of Krisser? I think not. 

 

Connor: If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments 

 

Jim: Boy, isn’t this the truth? 

Blair: Jim tried this one time to see if they would notice. 

Joel: You did? 

Jim: No, Joel, he’s pulling your leg. 

Joel: Well stop it… that hurts. My leg has been hurting all week. 

Simon: From what? 

Joel: I can’t run after suspects like I used to and pulled a muscle. 

Sully: Who was the suspect? 

Joel: I don’t know, I didn’t catch him. 

Rafe: Joel, you’re a hoot. 

Brown: What does that mean? 

Simon: What? 

Brown: A hoot. What is a hoot. 

Dan: I know, I know. 

Sam: Go ahead, Danny, tell us what a hoot is. 

Dan: A character. Someone who is fun. 

Joel: I like that. 

Connor: Well, it’s true too. 

Simon: What has this got to do with missing a loan payment? 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Connor: Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 

 

Simon: From seeing everyone lying on the floor laughing their fool heads off, I would say we all think this one is funny and we could move on. 

 

Connor: If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving. 

 

Blair: You would have to be like so dumb to try it again. DUH. 

Jim: Chief, I don’t know how to tell you this, but if you didn’t do it right the first time, there would be no second time. 

Blair: Oh yeah. Well, that shoots this one down, doesn’t it? 

Simon: Are you moving in on my turf again, Sandburg?

 

Connor: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 

 

Blair: This is true. 

Jim: It is. 

Simon: Some of these are just too true. 

Rafe: I think that this isn’t true, because when we go fishing we’re lucky if we catch one fish. We would starve. 

Brown: He’s right. 

Dan: I’m the same way. I could sit there all day fishing and not catch a thing. 

Sam: It’s probably your stomach grumbling that scares them away. 

Joel: I never catch much either. So this wouldn’t work for us either. 

Connor: Speak for yourself, honey bear, I catch a lot of fish. 

Joel: That’s true, she does. 

Sully: It just cracks me up how we all turn these quotes into what we want it to be. 

Rafe: I love to drink beer all day. Does that count? 

Brown: Everything you do counts, babe. 

Everyone: Awwwwwww. 

 

Connor: Have you ever lent someone $20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it. 

 

Jim: This isn’t true, this isn’t even nice. 

Blair: But it still could be true. 

Joel: Hey, I borrowed a 20 from Blair the other day, is that how you felt? 

Blair: Not even, Joel. I think they mean annoying people. 

Rafe: Yeah, we’re never annoying. 

Brown: Never. 

Simon: I know I’m not. 

Sully: Honey, please don’t lie. 

Simon: I’m annoying?

Sully: We all are. 

Sam: I agree with Sully. 

Dan: I think you’re all annoying too. 

Everyone laughs at Dan’s little joke. 

 

Connor: Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen. 

 

Jim: Some days I really feel this way. This whole week has been that way. 

Blair: Why? 

Jim: The Manilli case is getting to me, that’s all. 

Simon: Step back from it for a day or two and see if it helps. 

Jim: I haven’t got a day or two. You told me to find something to use against him and find it soon. I’m not having any luck. 

Rafe: Why don’t we leave early tonight and all go to the bullpen and help Jim and Blair. 

Blair: That would be great. Maybe you all would see something we didn’t. 

Rafe: I feel like a fly smacking into the screen also. 

Brown: All the time? 

Rafe: No, just some days. 

Sully: I think we probably all feel this way. 

Dan: I know I do. 

Sam: Same here. 

Joel: I’ve been pretty lucky at work lately, so I’m not going to complain. 

Simon: Let’s get this thing moving, we have work to do. 

 

Connor: Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 

 

Jim: Whoo Hoo. Blair says this all the time. 

Simon: I knew we couldn’t get through this without talk of sex. 

Blair: He was talking about some new recipes. 

Simon: Yeah, right. 

Rafe: Well, Brown showed me some new recipes the other night and I almost passed out. 

Brown: He did. 

Sam: I want those recipes. (Laughing)

Dan: By all means, give them to her. Get the ones from Jim and Blair too. 

Joel: I love cooking. We cook as often as we can. 

Sully: We do too, don’t we, honey? 

Simon: I’m fucking confused. Are we talking about fucking or cooking? 

Everyone: Fucking.

Simon: In that case, we do it as often as possible and it’s time for the next one, Connor.

 

Connor: There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works. 

 

Jim: I’m not saying a word. 

Blair: Are you calling me the woman? 

Jim: No, I meant the women here. 

Blair: Oh, okay, cuz you’re the woman. 

Rafe: I love how you put him in his place, Sandburg. 

Sully: Simon wins arguments all the time, don’t you, honey? 

Simon: Whatever you say, sweetheart. (Laughing)

Sam: I don’t like this one. 

Dan: Well, honey, it’s because you’re almost always right, so this is true. 

Connor: I don’t think it’s true either. So there. 

Joel: Now how can you argue with so there? 

Brown: I wouldn’t argue with any woman. 

Simon: Let’s move on before this gets ugly. 

 

Connor: The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed. 

 

Jim: We’re safe on this one. 

Blair: We certainly are. 

Joel: I love how we all laugh and talk all of the time. 

Sully: I do too, Joel. 

Simon: I have to admit, when I’m having a bad day and one of you makes me smile or laugh, it really does help. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Brown: I love laughing; it is indeed the best medicine. 

Sam: That’s why we’re all so damn healthy. 

Dan: I really enjoy being friends with all of you. 

Everyone: Awwwwwwww. 

Connor: Well, that’s it for tonight. So let’s all meet over at the station and we’ll see if we can’t help Jim and Blair. See you soon. 

Everyone filed out of the room and got into their cars to head to the station. These were indeed good friends. 

The end. 

 

 

 

 

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
 


	103. Nine Things I Hate ABout Everyone!

Sullivan’s Pub Part 103  
9 Things I Hate About Everyone  
By Patt

For Tinnean. Thank you for the ammo. Thank you to Mary for the beta. 

 

“So where in the hell is Ellison?” Simon asked, clearly irritated. 

“He’s on his way, he had to finish the paperwork.” Blair said. 

“Why didn’t you help him with the paperwork?” Connor asked. 

“You don’t want to even go there. Today wasn’t a good day for Jim and Blair.” Blair grumbled. 

“Oh shit, they’re going to be fighting all night long.” Rafe said. 

“No fighting tonight, all right?” Joel asked. 

“I can’t promise anything when it comes to Jim. And speaking of the butthead, here he is now.”

They all tried not to laugh as Jim entered the room, knowing Jim had heard what Blair said. 

“I’m here, so let’s start the damn thing.” Jim growled. 

“I told ya.” Blair offered his proof by pointing at his partner. 

Simon sat down and said, “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“Tonight, we’re discussing nine things you hate about people and do you know anyone that does any of these things? “ Connor explained. “Let’s begin.”

Connor: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know  
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch  
when I ask where the toilet is?

Jim: Well that’s just stupid and I don’t know anyone that does this.

Blair: (Laughing) Jim, you do it every time you can’t find your watch at home. You also point to the clock on the wall in the bullpen and say, what time is it Chief? 

Jim: I do not. Now tell them I don’t do that so they’ll stop laughing at me. 

Simon: Jim, I’ve heard you say this at work and point at the clock on the wall. I’ve seen you do it. I always have to go in my office and laugh. 

Jim: Oh that’s great. Now you have them all laughing at me, Sandburg, are you happy now? 

Blair: As a matter of fact, I’m a long way from being happy. 

Joel: Jim, I’ve never seen you do this, but it is funny when Blair talks about it. I’m sorry for laughing at you. (He sits down and burst into new laughter.)

Jim: Oh this is great. It’s going to be one of those nights, isn’t it?

Rafe: Oh just go with the flow, Jim and things will work out. (He points to his wrist and says) Do you know what time it is?

Jim: Fuck you, Rafe. 

Simon: This is off to a good start. We’ve got a fuck you from Ellison in the first ten minutes. 

Sam: I for one have never seen Jim do it and I don’t believe a word they’re saying honey. 

Jim: Thank you, Sam. 

Dan: Jim, didn’t you see her laughing a few minutes ago. She’s just trying to butter you up before the next one. 

Rafe: It’s funny, Ellison. Calm down. 

Brown: I think you’re all being a little mean to Jim. What’s going on? 

Sully: Now wait a minute, if Jim was saying this stuff about Simon, you would all be laughing, so why isn’t it funny when it’s about Jim? 

Simon: It is, that’s why he’s pissed. 

Jim: Enough already. 

Simon: Connor: We could probably move to the next one and hope it’s not going to piss anyone off. 

 

Connor: I can’t make any promises, Simon, but here goes:  
2\. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room  
for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the  
channel manually.

Blair: Now just tell me you don’t do this? And I’ll tell them all what a liar you are. 

Jim: You do it too.

Everyone bursts into laughter and Jim got pissed again. 

Joel: Well, I do this one too Jim. So it’s not a big thing. 

Blair: It is a big thing. He won’t turn the damn thing off if it’s not with the remote. He refused to even look at the tv until he finds that damn remote. (Laughing)

Simon: I do this all the time and Sully makes fun of me. 

Sully: I do, so that’s why I’m laughing Jim. He does the same thing. He’d rather leave the room with the tv going, then shut it off manually. 

Sam: Why do you suppose men do that? 

Dan: Is it just men that do it? 

Conner: I don’t do it. I use the buttons on the telly. 

Sully: So do I. 

Sam: As well as myself. So I know that Dan does this, does anyone else? 

Rafe: Henri does it. He won’t shut it off for anything and gets mad if I get up and shut it off. Says it ruins the remote. (Laughing)

Brown: It does. It screws with the timing. 

Jim: You’re all nuts. I just like my remote; it’s sort of like a security blanket. 

Blair: He sleeps with it sometimes when he thinks I’m going to get a hold of it. 

Everyone bursts out laughing again, making Jim even madder. 

Jim: Tell them that I don’t do that. 

Blair: Fine, he doesn’t do that. You’re such a brat, Ellison. 

Jim: Stop calling me Ellison. I don’t like that. 

Blair: Tough shit, man. 

Simon: Could we move to a better survey?

 

Connor: 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".  
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

 

Blair: Does anyone else have trouble keeping cake in the house from a certain person? 

Jim: Why not just tell them I’m a pig and be done with it. 

Blair: He’s a pig and he eats all of the cake he can get his hands on. 

Joel: So do I, Jim. 

Brown: So do I, so I try not to keep cake in the house at all. 

Rafe: You’re missing the whole point. Why would someone say this if you couldn’t eat it too? 

Sam: True, it’s a dumb saying, but I’ve seen poor Jim when he gets around cake. It’s not pretty. 

Dan: Stop teasing him, Sammy. Let me do it. 

Jim: Thanks Dan, I’ll remember this. 

Dan: It’s all in good fun. 

Simon: It’s not really that funny when it comes to desserts around Jim. He’s a maniac. 

Jim: What the hell do you tell these people about me and desserts?

Joel: I’ve heard the one where you couldn’t sleep and Blair wouldn’t get up and keep you company so you ate an entire cheesecake while you sat up waiting for morning. 

Jim: You tell people this shit? Why? 

Blair: Because I can, big guy. 

Sully: I don’t think this one makes any sense. It’s not about Jim eating cake it’s about dumb sayings. 

Rafe: That’s what I said, Sully, but no one is listening. They’re too busy teasing the grouch. 

Simon: Do we have any more of these fun ones? (Rolling his eyes to the back of his head and sighing.)

 

Connor: 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.  
Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do  
this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

Blair: Jim said something like this to me the other day. 

Jim: I did not. 

Blair: You did. You said, I just know it’s going to be the last place I look, damn it anyhow.

Jim: Oh yeah, I did say that. 

Simon: Well at least you own up to it. Now do you realize how stupid that sounds to say that? 

Jim: Yes, dad. 

Rafe: I’ve said this a couple of times. I’ll have to watch it from now on, I don’t want Henri making fun of me like Blair is Jim. 

Brown: It’s good clean fun. Let’s go and get some mud, Hairboy so we can dirty it up a little. 

Blair: Sounds good to me. We can fling dirt clods at Jim. 

Joel: Blair why are you mad at Jim? 

Sully: Did he eat all of your cake? (Smiling)

Blair: He can tell you if he wants, I’m not saying a fucking word. Not one fucking word. 

Dan: I’d like to know what he did to piss you off too. 

Sam: Honey it’s none of their business. I’ll ask Jim later and tell you. (Cracks up laughing.)

Simon: So tell us, Ellison. What did you do this time?

Jim: Nothing. I did nothing, he just thinks I did. 

Simon: Okay, it’s time to move this along. 

 

Connor: 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

 

Blair: I don’t mean to pick on you, Jim, but you say that all the time. 

Jim: So do you, asshole. 

Simon: I’ve said it too and will think twice about ever saying it again. 

Rafe: I’ve never said it, but Henri has. 

Brown: Geeze, do I have to go and live with Jim now? 

Rafe: Nah, you get to stay with me. You’re a keeper. 

Sully: Awwww. You’re so cute together. Usually Jim and Blair are too. 

Simon: They will be when they make up. 

Blair: He can shit and fall back in it first. 

Sam: This sounds serious, Jim. 

Dan: Yeah, who would want to shit and then fall in it? 

Joel: Okay, I think we’ve teased him enough, he’s getting pissed. 

Jim: I have a name, Joel. 

Joel: Okay, Jim is getting pissed, let’s not piss in his cheerios anymore today. 

Jim: Now I have to live with that thought in my mind. 

Joel: My work is done. (Laughing and clapping Jim on the back)

Simon: Next?

 

Connor: 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

Rafe: Jim says this all the time. I’ve heard him say it. 

Blair: See, it’s not just me. 

Brown: I’ve said it too. 

Joel: So have I, so don’t feel lonely Jim. 

Jim: I don’t feel lonely, but Blair is going to feel lonely pretty soon if he doesn’t knock it off. 

Simon: Don’t argue. 

Jim: He’s been starting it all night and you haven’t said a word to him. 

Simon: Am I your dad? Do I have to break you two up from time to time. Someone get a bucket of water to throw on them. 

Sully: Jim, what’s up with you tonight? Tell us you’ll feel a lot better and then we can all tease you about that. 

Sam: Sully, he was ready to break, now we’ll never know. 

Dan: I for one think talking is over-rated. 

Joel: Does anyone else ask this when they want to ask a question? 

Simon: We all do. Now can we move on? 

 

Connor: 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then  
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then   
there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

Simon: Okay, this one’s stupid so I vote we talk with Jim. 

Jim: I get a vote and I say no. 

Blair: I rest my case. 

Jim: You have no fucking case. You’re dreaming again. 

Sully: So tell us Blair, what happened to piss you off so much?

Jim: We don’t wish to discuss it here. 

Blair: Why not? 

Jim: Because it’s personal. 

Sam: Everything with us is personal, so get a grip, Jim. 

Dan: Just talk to us and we’ll try and help you boys get this worked out. 

Rafe: I say we take them both out back and kick the shit out of them. 

Brown: That sounds like fun. 

Jim: You better pack a lunch. 

Blair: That’s the dumbest saying of all. Bring a lunch. What does that mean? 

Joel: It means, you’re going to be fighting so long that you better bring something along to eat. 

Connor: Blair, tell us what’s going on. 

Blair: Let me think about it. 

Jim: Then I’ll leave. 

Blair: By all means, leave if that’s what you want, asshole. 

Simon: Connor, is there another one of these little blessings? 

 

Connor: 8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest  
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

Blair: Sometimes, life seems too long doesn’t it? 

Jim: So, take up a new life if you don’t like this one. 

Blair: Maybe I will. 

Simon: Okay, what happened with you two? You’ve been like this since this morning after questioning a suspect. What has that got to do with anything? 

Blair: Jim was flirting. 

Jim: I was not flirting with anyone. 

Rafe: Now it’s getting good. What did you do this time Ellison? 

Jim: I’m telling you, she asked for my phone number and I gave her my card. 

Brown: Well, that sounds all right, why is Sandburg ready to blow a casket? 

Blair: He put our home phone number on the back. In case she needed to get a hold of him. 

Jim: Us, a hold of us. I told her that. 

Sully: Jim, do you usually give out your home phone number? 

Jim: No. 

Sam: Then why did you give out your number to this woman?

Blair: Hey Jim, tell them who she looked like. 

Jim: Shut the fuck up, Sandburg. 

Dan: Who did she look like, Carolyn? 

Blair: Bingo, Dan’s our big winner. And Jim was all gah gah over her. 

Joel: Jim, that wasn’t using your best judgment. Why did you do it? 

Jim: She said she didn’t have anyone to talk to. I figured Blair and I could help her out, that’s all. I didn’t notice she looked like Carolyn. In fact I don’t see it at all. 

Blair: Tell me you didn’t think about your wife when you gave her our number. 

Jim: Blair, I swear, I didn’t think of Carolyn. 

Sam: Blair, he looks and sounds sincere. 

Jim: I am sincere. Chief, I didn’t mean to upset you, but she seemed so lonely I figured we might be able to help her. 

Blair: You thought she looked lonely? 

Jim: Didn’t you notice? She was so sad. I think the holidays bring out a lot of sadness in certain people. Please don’t be mad at me any more. 

Joel: I believe him, Blair. 

Blair: So do I. I feel horrible; I was so focused on her looking like Carolyn that I didn’t think about anything else. And I thought he was flirting. Forgive me, Jim? 

Jim: You’re forgiven, but from now on we better talk things out a little more. This was a nightmare. 

Connor: I thought you two were going to break up. I was worried. 

Simon: So was I. Glad to see you kiss and makeup. I know, I can’t believe I said it either. Connor, how about another one?

 

Connor: 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

 

Blair jumped up with his arm raised and said, “Pick me, pick me. “

Jim: Blair used to ride the bus a lot, so he probably has heard this a time or two. 

Simon: Did you, Sandburg? 

Blair: I gave this exact answer to all of the people who asked me over the years. What dumb asses they were. 

Joel: Jim and Blair, I’m glad you’re back to normal. 

Jim: I’m sorry for being such a prick tonight. 

Blair: Me too. Maybe you can prick me later, big boy. 

Simon: I knew it was too good to be true. 

Sam: I’ve never had this said to me, but it is funny and dumb. 

Dan: I agree. 

Rafe: So, are you two all right now? 

Brown: Jim, you still look a little down. 

Jim: I got my feelings hurt when he teased me all night. I’ll get over it soon enough. 

Blair: I’m sorry, Jim. 

Jim: I know you are and I’m sorry I couldn’t have a sense of humor tonight. 

Sam: We were pretty brutal, Jim. I’m sorry too. 

Rafe: We have to apologize for something he would have done to us in a heartbeat? 

Brown: True, he would have if the tables were turned. 

Jim: You’re right. I would have. 

Connor: Do you promise to be good at the next Sullivan’s Pub? 

Jim: I swear on my life. 

Blair: (Kisses him.) That’s good enough for me. 

Connor: That’s all for tonight. Goodnight everyone, see you in the morning. 

Everyone left but Jim and Blair and they just stood out in the parking lot looking at the moon. 

“I’m sorry Chief. I should have listened to you.”

“And I should have listened to you, also. We’ll do better next time. I love you.”

“I love you back.”

Another night ending happily at Sullivan’s Pub. 

End: Sullivan’s Pub Part 103


	104. What a Man Really Means

Sullivan’s Pub Part 104  
What A Man Really Means  
By Patt

 

Connor smiled as everyone sat down at the table to get started. She had a good one for the evening, from a friend in Vice named Mary. She hoped that it would go as well as she thought it should. 

Connor: Everyone ready? 

Simon: What is it about tonight? 

Connor: What a man really means: Here we go.   
"I'm going fishing."  
Really means...  
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." 

Jim: I never mean this. I’m dead serious about my fishing. 

Blair: He’s not kidding; he’s dead serious all right. 

Joel: I love fishing, so I like to drink beer but not get stupid. That way I can enjoy the fish. 

Rafe: I love getting stupid; it’s one of the few times we have to relax, so that’s why I never catch anything. I’m standing by a stream with a stick in my hand while the fish laugh. 

Brown: They don’t laugh, they just smile, babe. 

Simon: I love to fish. I’m with Jim on this. It’s a serious matter. 

Sully: How about all the times we went fishing and we never actually got to the fishing part because we were having way too much fun in the tent? 

Simon: Sully, leave some of our life to just us. They don’t need to know that about their boss. 

Dan: I think it’s nice. Besides I wouldn’t leave Sam in the tent unattended either. And I love fishing too. Maybe some day just the guys can go. 

Sam: But what about Brian, Henri, Jim and Blair? They might want to stay in the tent. How do you feel about that?

Jim: If we were fishing with others, I wouldn’t be staying in a tent with Blair, because that’s private. 

Blair: So you’d just do me on the side of the lake? 

Jim: No! I meant, I wouldn’t do you at all, some things are sacred. 

Blair: Wow, you’re calling my ass sacred?

Joel: Jim, give up now. You don’t have a chance. 

Jim: I give, Chief. 

Sully: I say we all go but we stay in different tents. (Laughter breaks out except for Simon.)

Simon: I say we move this one along. 

 

Connor: "Let's take your car."  
Really means...  
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas." 

Blair: Have you all seen Jim’s SUV? Not even a speck of dust can be found, so this isn’t true for him. I’m another story, though. 

Jim: This is true; whenever we go somewhere we almost always take the big SUV because Blair’s is pitted out. 

Simon: My SUV shines. 

Sully: Who here, is surprised? Mine has stuff from the kids and wrappers from fast food joints. 

Sam: Oh mine too, but Danny’s is spotless. I hate that he can keep it so clean. 

Dan: But Sam, you have the kids in yours more often, so that’s why mine is cleaner. 

Rafe: Does anyone here let their SUV or car run out of gas? I know I don’t? And mine is clean too. 

Brown: I’ve almost run out of gas a couple of times, but thankfully I remembered to stop on my way to work and avoided being embarrassed. I’m not as clean as Bri with my car. 

Joel: Both of our SUV’s are spotless and we’ve never run out of gas, have we honey bear?

Connor: No, we never have. And I take great pride in having my small SUV clean as can be. 

Rafe: I ran out of gas once when we were going on a trip and I wasn’t paying attention. 

Brown: I don’t remember that. 

Rafe: It was pre-brown days. (Smiles)

Brown: Who were you with that got you so involved that you couldn’t even remember gas? 

Simon: I’m stopping this right now. Brown, he had a life before you and is allowed to have one, so leave him alone. 

Rafe: Thanks, Simon. 

Brown: Don’t think that’s the end of it. 

Simon: Let’s get to the next one so we won’t argue about this one any longer. 

 

Connor: "Woman driver."  
Really means...  
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me." 

 

Jim: This isn’t true, look at Connor, for Christ’s sake. 

Blair: That’s true. She’s as bad a driver as you, Jim. 

Connor: Hey, leave me out of this. 

Jim: I’m not a bad driver. I still have the same SUV that I’ve had for years and it’s in one piece, right? 

Simon: Yes it is, but only because you park ‘old blue’ in the station parking lot for work. You don’t use the SUV for anything but carting kids. 

Rafe: I’m a good driver. 

Brown: That’s not the question. Do you think woman driver about someone that drives better and different than you? I do. 

Sully: I think I’m as bad as Jim, so I’m not saying anymore. 

Sam: Me either or I’ll have to admit to Dan how many times I’ve been stopped and got away with a warning. 

Dan: You’ve been stopped a lot? How do you get out of the tickets? 

Sam: I bat my eye lashes and it seems to do the trick. I’ve even unbuttoned my top button of my shirt for good measure. 

Dan: I don’t fucking believe this. This is how you act with the kids in the car? 

Joel: Dan, calm down. You’re scaring everyone. You never say fuck. What’s wrong? 

Dan: Maybe I don’t like my wife throwing herself at anyone and everyone. 

Sam: Dan, you’re making a big deal out of nothing. It was nothing. Three times is all. 

Dan: So, three times some cops thought they might have a chance with you, am I right, guys?

Jim: Sort of. I can see both of your sides. (Frowns)

Blair: I bat my eye lashes every time I ever get a ticket and it’s helped me out too. 

Simon: Seriously?

Blair: No, I was never serious when I batted them. 

Simon: Oh shut up. Dan, you’re making too big of a deal out of this. It’s nothing. 

Dan: Tell me, Simon, would you like it if Sully was telling this story? How about you, Jim, Blair, Joel, Brown or Rafe? 

Jim: I don’t like when Blair uses his wiles to get his way. It makes me jealous, big time. 

Rafe: I don’t like when Henri does it either. 

Brown: I don’t ever do it, what are you talking about? 

Rafe: I meant if you ever did. 

Joel: Well, I don’t know how Megan feels about this, but I wouldn’t like her flirting with any cop other than me. 

Connor: I love when you get all territorial on me. 

Dan: I totally agree with Joel. 

Sam: If I promise to never do it again, will you forgive me?

Dan: Whatever. 

Simon: We better move this thing along. 

 

Connor: "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."  
Really means...  
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white." 

Jim: I defer to Blair’s sense of style when it comes to the painting. Everything can’t be white, or I’ve been told. 

Blair: He could be taught. 

Simon: Sully is in charge of everything in the house but the garage. I trust everything she’s done so far. 

Sully: Thank you, baby. I love doing things to the house. 

Rafe: I’m in charge of painting. I have to have all rooms matching perfectly. 

Brown: And I don’t mind because the finished product is always worth it. 

Joel: Megan is in charge of ours, I just do the work. 

Sam: I’ve always made most of the decisions about what color each room will be and Dan seems to like it. 

Dan: So, if I asked for white, you would just ignore my suggestion? 

Sam: Dan, what’s wrong with you tonight? Are you mad about something? (Looking alarmed and hurt)

Dan: No, I’m just doing the fucking survey.

Simon: Let’s move on before Dan says fuck again. 

 

Connor: "It's a guy thing."  
Really means...  
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." 

 

Dan: That’s bullshit. Men can think logically. 

Sam: I know you can, Dan. (Trying to calm him down)

Jim: I’ve been known to be logical in my day. 

Blair: Not me. 

Rafe: I have and will probably always be this way. 

Brown: Not me either. 

Joel: I think about rational and logical things all the time, so this leaves me out. 

Simon: I try to stay logical, but when I get around Sully sometimes it all flies right out the window. 

Sully: Oh big boy, you are getting so fucking lucky tonight. 

Simon: On that note, let’s move on. 

 

Conner: Can I help?  
Really means...  
"Why isn't it already on the table?" 

 

Dan: Another bullshit question. If I ask Sam if she needs help, I really want to help her. I don’t mean anything except what I say. 

Sam: Danny, you’re scaring me. What’s going on? 

Dan: Nothing, I just had a bad day. 

Jim: So you take it out on Sam? 

Dan: Oh shove it, Ellison. You take your bad moods out on Blair all the time. 

Blair: You do. 

Simon: Is there anything we can do to help you out? 

Dan: No, just answer the fucking thing so we can go home. 

Rafe: I don’t say what I don’t mean either, Dan. So I know what you’re talking about. 

Brown: And we love to help each other out in the kitchen or wherever, so that works out well for us. Bri would never say this and mean the second thing. 

Joel: I wouldn’t say this either. I love to help Meggie. 

Sully: Well, I think that sometimes maybe Simon doesn’t mean it the nice way, do you honey? 

Simon: You’re right and I’ll work on it. Sometimes I just come home grouchy and have to take it out on someone and it can’t be the kids. 

Connor: I think that we all might do that, Simon. 

Simon: I think this would be a good time to move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."  
Really means....  
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling. 

Jim: I don’t do this. 

Blair: Yes, you do. 

Jim: No I don’t. 

Simon: You both do, we all do, so let’s move on. 

 

Connor: "Good idea."  
Really means...  
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating." 

Jim: Okay, I’m guilty of this one now and then. 

Blair: I’m so proud of you for admitting it without me forcing you to. (Smiles)

Simon: Yup, I’m guilty too. 

Sully: I don’t think I do this. 

Simon: You don’t, I do. 

Sam: I don’t do this. 

Dan: Yes, you do. 

Sam: No, I don’t. 

Dan: You hate to be wrong and just agree so that when I fail you get to gloat. 

Joel: Calm down, Dan. I’m sure she doesn’t mean to gloat. 

Dan: She gloats all the time. 

Rafe: I do this sometimes to Henri. 

Brown: He does, but he says he’s sorry afterwards. 

Joel: I don’t do this and I don’t think Meggie does either. 

Simon: Wow, a lull in the action. (Trying to ignore Sam on the verge of tears.)

 

Connor: "Have you lost weight?"  
Really means...  
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill." 

Dan: I never lie to Sam. 

Sam: And I don’t lie to you either, Danny. 

Jim: I’ve done this a couple of times when I knew Blair was going to yell at me about something. 

Blair: I’m so proud of you admitting all of your shortcomings tonight. 

Rafe: I’ve said these things a few times. 

Brown: And I don’t like it either. Just tell me the truth, I accept it better. 

Simon: I did tell Sully I thought she looked like she had lost weight the other night because I wanted sex. For some reason sometimes I have a hard time bringing it up in the first place. 

Sully: You are so damn sweet. I love you. 

Joel: I don’t lie to Megan either. 

Jim: We don’t really lie; we just press the truth a little. It doesn’t hurt anything. 

Dan: So, if Blair lies to you, you accept that? 

Sam: When did I lie to you, Danny? 

Dan: I don’t want to talk about it now. 

Joel: It’s too late, you brought it up. 

Dan: Fine, she told me she was going to a movie last night with her friend Sandra and Sandra called after Sam left. And when she got home, she acted as if nothing had happened. 

Sam: I hate you so badly right this moment. You’re going to ruin everything. (She gets up and runs to the restroom.)

Jim: What did I miss?

Blair: Yeah, I’m lost. 

Connor: I was with Sam last night helping her pick out something for Christmas for Dan. Something she needed a second opinion on. 

Dan: Serious? Why didn’t she just tell me? 

Jim: I imagine because it was supposed to be a surprise. 

Dan got up and went into the women’s restroom and pulled Sam into his arms. “I really thought you had found someone else.”

“Danny, I love you more than life itself.”

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“I’m sorry for lying to you.”

“Will you forgive me for being such an asshole tonight?”

“Yes, as long as you forgive me for making the story up. Next time I’ll just tell you the truth. But remember that I love you more than life and I would never hurt you for anything.”

They kissed and walked out of the restroom with their arms around each other. Everyone at the large table breathed a sigh of relief. 

Dan: I’m sorry everyone, I was a bit jealous of someone taking over my job. 

Everyone laughed. 

Simon: I think we can move on now. 

 

Connor: "My wife doesn't understand me."  
Really means...  
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them." 

Jim: I think Blair is a little tired of my stories. 

Blair: Never. I love your stories. 

Simon: I don’t think they mean that kind of story, Sandburg. 

Blair: Oh, well then maybe I do get tired of those kinds. (Laughing)

Joel: I don’t like this one. 

Simon: Your honey bear has spoken, so move it to the next one. 

 

Connor: "It would take too long to explain."  
Really means...  
"I have no idea how it works." 

Jim: I say this all the time. 

Blair: He does and he thinks that no one knows. 

Dan got up and pulled his wife out of her chair and said, “I think we need to go home. Do you all mind?”

“By all means, get out of here.” Simon teased. 

“Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.” Sully called out after her sister. 

Connor stood up and said, “That’s all for tonight anyhow. The second part is for next week. We’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

Everyone said goodnight to each other and were very glad that Dan and Sam worked out all right. Another good night for Sullivan’s Pub. 

End: Part 104


	105. What a Man Really Means Part 2

Sullivan’ Pub Part 105  
What A Man Really Means 2  
By Patt

 

As everyone sat down at the table Jim asked Dan, “So did you two work it out?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” Dan said blushing, making everyone smile including his wife. 

“Are we ready?” Connor asked. “Tonight is what a man really means 2.”

 

Connor: "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."  
Really means...  
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." 

 

Jim: I’ve sort of said this to Blair when I’m really into a game. 

Blair: He has, but being the good spouse that I am; I turn it off and watch the rest of the game or race.

Joel: I think I might have said this to Meggie once. Sorry, honey. 

Connor: Not a problem, Honey Bear. 

Rafe: We watch the games together, so I wouldn’t have said this. 

Brown: No, I don’t think we have ever said it. 

Sully: Simon says it all the time, so now I know he really wasn’t thinking about me. Boy, do I feel foolish. (Laughing)

Simon: Can I help it if I like when you watch the game with me more than when you vacuum the carpet?

Dan: I know I’ve said this a few times. 

Sam: Yup, you have, but I forgive you. (Kisses Dan passionately)

Simon: Wow, this went smoothly, let’s take the next one, Connor. 

 

Connor: "That's interesting, dear."  
Really means...  
"Are you still talking?" 

Blair: Wait a minute; Jim says this all the time, minus the dear part. 

Simon: Busted, hot shot. 

Jim: I claim the fifth. 

Sully: I think that Simon has said this a few times. 

Jim: Busted back at ya. 

Rafe: I’ve never said this. 

Brown: Yes, you have; you just don’t realize you’re doing it. 

Joel: I would never say this to Meg, even jokingly. 

Sam: Dan has said this a few times, but I remember saying it to him a few times too. 

Dan: We’re both guilty. 

Simon: This is going beautifully. Move it along. 

 

Connor: "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."  
Really means...  
"I forgot our anniversary again." 

Jim: I’ve never said this. 

Blair: Neither have I. 

Simon: I’m pretty sure I’m clear on this one. 

Sully: Yes, you are. If you forget, you just tell me you forgot. 

Dan: I’ve never said this one. 

Sam: Neither have I. 

Rafe: I might have teased about it once. 

Brown: Twice. 

Rafe: I’m sorry, babe. 

Joel: I’ve never said it either and don’t plan on using it anytime soon. 

Simon: Will you look at that? Three of them down. Whoo Hoo. 

 

Connor: "You expect too much of me."  
Really means...  
"You want me to stay awake." 

Blair: Jim has said this and pissed me off big time. 

Jim: Guilty as charged and I’m sorry. I’ll try and work on some of these things that I say and do. 

Joel: I’ve never said this and neither has Meg. 

Sully: Well Simon, has said this one numerous times and I’m getting a complex. 

Simon: I’m sorry, Sully. 

Sully: Just for grins and chuckles, tell me what you’re sorry for. 

Simon: For saying something that’s in the survey. 

Sully: It must be our night to fight because I’m ready to punch your lights out. 

Simon: What did I do? Does anyone else know what I did? 

Connor: You’re breathing. (Laughing)

Rafe: Okay, I’ve said this quite a few times, so I’ll watch it from here on in. 

Brown: I couldn’t ask for more than that. 

Dan: Simon, don’t be mad at Sully, she’s just telling you how it is. 

Simon: She does expect too much from me sometimes. 

Sam: Oh oh, you better take that back. 

Simon: She does… I’m not taking it back. 

Sully: Fuck you, Simon.

Rafe: Ding, ding, ding, the first fuck you goes to Simon from his precious Sully. 

Everyone laughed but Sully. 

Simon: Maybe this would be a good time to move along. 

 

Connor: "It's a really good movie."  
Really means...  
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear." 

Jim: All except the Heather Locklear part. She doesn’t do anything for me. 

Blair: I’m glad, my main man. 

Rafe: I like her. 

Brown: You would…

Rafe: You do too. 

Brown: Oh yeah, I do. (Laughing)

Simon: I don’t care for her much, but do love the movies with action, weapons and so on. 

Sully: How about movies like Big Eden?

Simon: I didn’t really care for that movie, it just wasn’t believable. 

Dan: You’re kidding? I think this is one of the sweetest movies I’ve seen in ages, not to mention there was a Native American in it that was totally sweet. 

Sam: He reminded me of you, baby. 

Rafe: He reminded me of Dan too. Sweet and loving. 

Joel: I’ve not seen this movie. Does anyone own it? 

Jim: We do, just stop by and borrow it. 

Blair: Why didn’t you like it Simon? 

Simon: What has that got to do with this question? 

Jim: We just wondered why you didn’t like it. 

Simon: I didn’t find it believable. In real life they wouldn’t be as accepting as those people were. It would be nice, but not true. You guys should know that. 

Blair: But wouldn’t it have been nice to have everyone treat us with kindness and respect? 

Simon: We could move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: "That's women's work."  
Really means...  
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless." 

Sully: If Simon said this, he would be alone right now. 

Simon: I’m no fool, I’m never saying it. (Kisses Sully)

Sam: Dan doesn’t ever say this either. 

Dan: I know a good thing when I see it. (Kisses Sam)

Connor: In Joel’s defense, he never says anything like this. 

Joel: Wouldn’t dream of it. 

Simon: Well, that’s all of the women, so we could move this one along. 

 

Connor: "Go ask your mother."  
Really means...  
"I am incapable of making a decision." 

Simon: Who is guilty of this one? 

Everyone: I am. 

Simon: We can move right along, Connor. 

 

Connor: "You know how bad my memory is."  
Really means...  
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." 

Jim: Not that long ago, I forgot your birthday. I’m really sorry, Blair. 

Blair: That’s over and done with, Jim. Time to move on. 

Simon: Has anyone ever done this besides Jim? 

Everyone: No…

Simon: It’s safe to move on, Missy. 

 

Connor: "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."  
Really means...  
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." 

Jim: Never would think it, do it or say it. 

Blair: Like you would tell me anyhow. 

Jim: I would. 

Simon: Jim, you are so full of shit. 

Sully: Simon, are you saying you would do this? 

Simon: No, but if I did, I wouldn’t tell anyone. 

Sam: So, we never know for sure why we really get our flowers? 

Dan: You do from me. 

Jim: Blair knows too. 

Blair: Why am I the wife? 

Jim: Because I was last week. 

Everyone laughs. 

Rafe: I don’t buy flowers, so we don’t have to worry about that. 

Brown: Why does everyone else get flowers, but not me? 

Rafe: Could we possibly get through one of these fuckers without fighting, at least once? 

Brown: (Laughing) You’re asking an awful lot, hot shot. 

Joel: I buy Meg flowers all the time and I’ve never noticed what the person looks like and that’s the truth. 

Simon: That’s because you know better than to say anything. 

Joel: I don’t lie, Simon. 

Simon: I was kidding, geeze give me a break. Connor, could we do the next one? 

 

Connor: "Football is a man's game."  
Really means...  
"Women are generally too smart to play it." 

Sully: I love playing football over at Jim’s when we get together. Does that make me weird? 

Blair: Sully, you are weird, but this saying isn’t true. 

Sam: I love playing football too. 

Connor: So do I. Some of my fondest memories come from Jim and Blair’s house. 

Jim: I’m glad everyone has a good time in that big ole yard. 

Simon: The women all answered, so we could take another one. 

 

Connor: "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."  
Really means...  
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." 

Jim: This is Blair. 

Blair: It is not. (Laughing)

Joel: I do this too. 

Rafe: I don’t do it, but Henri does. 

Brown: I do. 

Sully: Simon does this too. 

Simon: Take that back, wicked woman. (Kisses Sully)

Sam: This is Dan, also. 

Dan: It is? Okay. 

Simon: Look at this, Connor, time for another one. 

 

Connor: "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."  
Really means...  
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." 

Jim: I’ve done this before. 

Blair: So have I. 

Simon: Hasn’t everyone? 

Everyone: Yes. 

Simon: These are good ones tonight, Connor. 

 

Connor: "I can't find it."  
Really means...  
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." 

Blair: Jim does this. It’s sort of like the remote control, I think. 

Jim: Fuck you. (Kisses Blair)

Joel: I say this all the time and mean it just like that. 

Simon: I think I say this too, do I, Sully? 

Sully: Yes, all the time. 

Sam: Dan says it too, but I’ve been known to say it also. 

Dan: I was just going to point that out, babe. (Kisses Sam)

Rafe: What’s wrong with saying I can’t find it? 

Everyone laughs. 

Brown: Needless to say, we both say this a lot. 

Simon: Again, we’re finished in record time. Next?

 

Connor: "What did I do this time?"  
Really means...  
"What did you catch me at?" 

Simon: Does everyone do this and say this?

Everyone: Yes. 

Simon: My work is done for now, next?

 

Connor: "But I hate to go shopping."  
Really means...  
"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse." 

Connor: Joel does this for me and I’m sure it embarrasses him, but he still does it. (Leans in for a kiss.)

Sully: Simon would die first. 

Simon: I would. Or my dick would fall off. One or the other. 

Everyone laughs. 

Sam: This leaves me and I have to tell you, I’ve never asked Danny to hold my purse, because I wouldn’t want to embarrass him. But I bet he would hold it if I asked him nicely. 

Dan: I would. 

Jim: I would hold anyone’s purse, wouldn’t bother me. 

Blair: He probably would. Remember this, ladies, when you go shopping next. 

Simon: The girls have all answered, so we can go on. 

 

Connor: "I heard you."  
Really means...  
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." 

Blair: I do this and say this. 

Jim: He does. But I don’t. 

Joel: I’ve said this before. Sorry, Meg. 

Dan: I’ve said it too. 

Sam: You better watch it, bucko. 

Rafe: I’ve never said it, but Henri has. 

Brown: Yes, I have. 

Sully: Simon says it all the time. He doesn’t listen to me at all. 

Simon: Looky here, we’re done with another one. 

Jim: Simon, you’re ignoring what your wife just said. 

Simon: I heard you; I just don’t want to argue. 

Sully: Fuck you, Simon. 

Rafe: Ding, ding, ding… They’re at it again. 

Simon: Let’s move this baby along. 

 

Connor: "You know I could never love anyone else."  
Really means...  
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." 

Sully: So when you say this, is that what you’re thinking? 

Simon: For Christ’s sake, Sully, this is a survey. Stop being so serious. 

Jim: Has anyone else said this? 

Blair: Only when it counts. 

Rafe: Same here. 

Dan: I say it now and then, but I truly mean it. 

Simon: What’s with the look? I mean it too. 

Joel: I’ve said it and meant it the right way. 

Simon: Could we get off of this one before my wife decks me? 

 

Connor: "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."  
Really means...  
"No one will ever see us alive again." 

Blair: I feel this way sometimes. 

Jim: You are like that sometimes. (Laughing)

Joel: I don’t like to admit to Meg that I’m lost. 

Dan: Neither do I, but I tell Sam easily. (Laughing.)

Sam: You’re such a nut, but thankfully you’re my nut. 

Sully: Simon refuses to ask for help if we’re lost so he just drives until he recognizes something. 

Simon: Guilty as charged. (Kisses Sully.)

Rafe: I don’t like to admit I’m lost. 

Brown: He’d rather admit he was dead. I’m serious. 

Simon: I’m getting sleepy, Connor, are we almost done? 

“That’s it for tonight, everyone. I hope you had a good time. Thank Mary in Vice the next time you see her. She finds a lot of my ammo.”

“Night, everyone.” Joel called out as he and Connor left. 

Everyone else filed out behind them except for Sully and Simon. “Simon, should I be worried about something? You seemed unhappy with me tonight.”

“I had a horrible day and it’s easier to take it out on the one you love the most. I’m sorry, baby.” He began to kiss her until they could hardly breathe. 

“Come on, my dumpling, we’re stopping at my office first.” 

“Hot damn…”

Another great night at Sullivan’s Pub. 

The end.


	106. Lines To Make You Smile And The Kids Are Growing Up

Sullivan’s Pub Part 106  
Lines To Make You Smile And The Kids Are Growing Up  
By Patt

For Tinnean, thank you for the ammo.   
For Mary, thank you for the beta. 

As everyone sat around the large table at Sullivan’s, Connor said, “I thought maybe we could take a few moments to talk about the kids before we get started.”

Joel: Good idea, honey. We’d like to invite you all to a talent show that Miss Ellie is performing in. Those singing lessons are really paying off; she has the voice of an angel. That’s on Tuesday night, and on Wednesday night, the twins are having their first Karate award dinner. They’re going to receive their yellow belt, along with Shannon, Dakota, and Matthew. Remington gets one that night too, but not sure what color. Mason and Mallory are doing well in the day program and they can both read already. Not bad for four years old. We still can’t believe they’re already four. Miss Ellie is doing beautifully in school and loves all of her teachers and other students. She’s quite popular. 

Jim: I’d love to go to both. Count us in. 

Rafe: Count us in too, but remind us. 

Sully: They are so cute in their Karate outfits, aren’t they? 

Sam: Yes, they are. And they’re so good already. Who would think that four year old could learn this stuff? 

Jim: I did. That’s why I suggested it to all of you. 

Blair: He’s going to be hard to live with now. (Smiling) 

Connor: Who’s next? 

Brown: Pick me, pick me. (Laughing)

Rafe: Go ahead, babe. 

Brown: Delancey has her first all girl’s baseball game this weekend, on Saturday at 2:00. She’s quite excited. She’s a pitcher and does a really good job. Wait until you see her. We’d love it if you all came and showed support of the girls’ team. Then on Sunday, she’s playing in the band for the football game that Drake is going to be in. So, she’s got two things we would like you to be around for. Remington is getting his green belt in Karate and he’s good, really good. He also takes piano lessons because he loved the way Rayne sounded when she played. Because of Rayne, he now does two things to make him feel better about himself. His learning disabilities have left him feeling a little down. But we have tutors and he’s working very hard. I have faith in him becoming an A student in the next two years. You all just wait and see. Both of them are doing beautifully in school and we have no complaints at all. 

Jim: Count us in for both days for Lancey. Just be sure to tell us all the times. 

Joel: I can’t wait to see Remington get his green belt; he must be very good to have him move up two belts. 

Rafe: We’re really proud of him for working so hard on everything. 

Sully: Count us in for Saturday and Sunday and then for the Karate Ceremony. 

Dan: We’ll be there with bells on. 

Simon: People will look at your funny, Dan, and you’ll embarrass the kids. (Laughing)

Connor: Next? 

Simon: My turn. Simone is having a ballet recital and we’d like you all to come. It’s Friday night at 7:00. Wait until you see how good she is. The teacher said that she has such long legs and pure grace that she’s a natural. She’s doing well in school and performed a tap routine for her show and tell one day. I took the video camera if anyone wants to see her. It was darling. The kids all loved it. Matthew is busy all the time, but loves his Karate classes. So we’re glad you’re all going to be there for the ceremony. It’s quite exciting to have him receive something like that at such a young age. Sully took him to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor said he’s not going to be as tall as Simone`. So he might be only six feet tall. The doctor said it’s just a guess, but they’re usually fairly accurate. 

Blair: I can’t wait to see Simone at the ballet recital, she is one of the most graceful children I’ve ever seen. Count us in for both of the kids. 

Rafe: Count us in also. I just love to watch Simone dance. She’s pure beauty and grace. 

Sam: I just love to watch her dance also. I can’t wait for the recital. 

Connor: She’s a natural at dancing, that’s for sure. And little Matthew is just so cute when he does the Karate. They all are. 

Joel: Who’s turn is it now? 

Dan: Our turn now. Tristen has been placed in an accelerated class and loves baseball and swimming. He’s on a diving team at the boy’s club right now and they’re having an event two weeks from today. So I thought I would ask all of you to come so you can see how good he is. He dives with no splash at all. His coach thinks if he keeps it up, he might be able to go to the Olympics some year. We don’t really care about that, we just want him to have fun. Shannon and Dakota are doing great at the Day Center and love Karate with all of their cousins. Shannon asked if we could have a family barbecue with everyone and I told her I would ask you all while we were here. How about that Saturday after the diving event? 

Jim: Sounds good to us. We’ll be there, but we won’t have bells on. 

Rafe: Oh shut up, Ellison. (Laughing) We’ll be there too. 

Joel: I can’t believe how fast all of these kids grew up and are doing so many things to keep us all busy for the rest of our lives. (Laughing) You know you can count on us for being there for the Diving and the Karate events. 

Simon: We’ll be there too; we wouldn’t miss it for the world. Remind us about the barbecue so we can all bring something. Sully loves our family barbecues. 

Connor: Who’s next? 

Blair: That would be us. We can’t believe that Drake and Delancey are both teens now. They, of course, think they know everything and think we should all go back to school so we can learn as much as they know. Drake is on a football and baseball team and has made the honor roll again this semester. He’s got a baseball game in two weeks, on a Sunday. We’ll let you all know so you can make it if you can. He loves baseball. Jade is taking ballet, but just started, so there is no recital yet. Her swimming coach said her breast strokes are the best of the group, so this tickled us. In school she does pretty well, but Jade seems to think that school really is only there for a social event, so she’s not as good with the grades as Drake is. We try to push her, but she gets B’s and C’s and we’ll have to make do with that for now. Rayne has been taking piano lessons since she was four and they paid off because she is naturally talented. She has a piano recital at school next Thursday night, and hope you can all make it. She’s all excited about it. She does well in school, but I’m afraid she thinks school is a social event also. (Laughing)

Brown: It just seems like yesterday we all were starting our families and now they’re half grown. The time goes by too quickly for my taste. We’ll be at Drake’s game and at Rayne’s school recital. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Will Jade have swimming competitions this summer? 

Jim: Yes, she’s going to be in all of the swimming strokes, but she excels in the breast stroke, so we’re hoping she does well in that. We’ll let you know when the time comes. 

Simon: Count us in on anything the kids are doing. We love to watch them grow. Our families have been nothing but a blessing to all of us. 

Dan: Oh oh, Simon’s getting mushy. We’ll be there too. And most kids do think school is a social event. I know Shannon and Dakota think that they know everything and will be in charge of all social calendars. 

Joel: I can’t wait for all of the events coming up and I’m so grateful that we have such a good family to do everything with. Thank you for being the best friends in the world. We’re very blessed to have each other. 

 

Connor: This might be a time to move on to the survey. I don’t want to start crying like a wuss puss. (Laughing) Tonight we’re going to discuss ways to make you smile.   
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 

Sam: This is so not true about Dan. 

Dan: Thank you, baby. 

Sully: This isn’t true about Simon either. 

Simon: Sometimes I think I am, so you can tell the truth. 

Sully: All right, sometimes he does think he is, but I just remind him he’s not. 

Blair: Okay, I’m the one that thinks I’m god from time to time. 

Jim: But a quick reminder is all that is needed and he falls back into his role of Lord Sandburg. (Smiles)

Rafe: Henri doesn’t think he’s god, so I don’t have to worry about that. 

Brown: But babe, you do. And like Jim, I just have to remind you who you are. 

Joel: I don’t think I do this, do I, Meg? 

Connor: Nope, you don’t do this, honey bear. You’re the opposite; you think everyone else is godly, even if they aren’t. 

Jim: Joel, you are this way. You’re one of the kindest men we know. 

Joel: Well, thank you, Jim. 

Simon: I think we could move on. 

 

Connor: 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 

Rafe: I think we all suffer from this. 

Simon: I think this ones a given, we could move to the next one, Connor. 

 

Connor: 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 

Jim: I feel this way sometimes. 

Blair: So do I, but if they’re trying I don’t mind helping. It’s the ones that sit on their asses and collect money and food stamps while the rest of us support them that piss me off. 

Simon: Why not tell us how you really feel, Sandburg?

Sully: I agree with Blair. I wish more of these people would actually try to work. 

Rafe: I agree with Blair too. 

Blair: You just called me Blair. 

Rafe: That’s your name, isn’t it? 

Brown: Wow, no Hairboy or anything. I agree with him too. 

Dan: I think they should use some of our hard earned money to teach these people how to do things so they can support themselves someday. 

Sam: I agree with both Blair and Dan. 

Joel: I do too, both men brought up good points. 

Simon: Are we to the funny part yet? (Smiling) 

 

Connor: 4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 

Joel: Boy, is this ever the truth. 

Jim: Now I never would have thought you would say that, Joel. 

Joel: Jim, that child molester that we caught two weeks ago should be dead. I’m sure someone wanted to kill him, but they know they can’t because he’s protected by the law. 

Blair: Okay, I think this one is true, but I think it means idiots. 

Dan: So do I, Blair. 

Sam: I think so too. Sometimes I just want to slap some people that are just so dumb. 

Simon: They didn’t ask if the people were dumb. 

Sully: But sometimes I feel like strangling a dumb person anyhow. 

Rafe: You better watch her, Simon. 

Brown: We’ll bail you out, sweetie. 

Sully: Thank you, Henri. (Smiles)

Simon: This might be a good time to move on. 

 

Connor: 5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 

Jim: I remember this from another survey, and it’s as true now as it was then. 

Blair: I couldn’t agree more. He is broke. 

Simon: I don’t try to have such a handle on life anymore. I used to, but I kept breaking. 

Sully: He has become so laid back with the kids, it isn’t even funny. Or maybe it is. 

Sam: I agree with you about Simon. Dan has always been laid back, so it’s not a news flash. 

Dan: I don’t need no stinkin handle. (Smiles)

Joel: I still try and get a handle on things, but I’m still fucking broke. 

Rafe: Wow, Joel said fucking. He must have broken. 

Brown: I know that both of us try to have a handle, but we know we can’t so we finally give up. The kids are the only things we have a handle on. 

Joel: That we know of. Do you realize that Drake, Lancey and Jade will be dating in another couple of years? Now you tell me the parents are going to have a handle on that. 

Jim: I don’t even want to think about it. That’s why we try and keep them so busy with sports and family outings. 

Rafe: Lancey isn’t dating until she’s 18. I think that’s a good age. (Everyone bursts out in laughter)

Brown: Lancey has been showing signs of PMS, so now we’re dreading the whole talk about periods and sex. 

Blair: Want me to help you? I took care of it with Jade and Drake already and Jim said I did a really good job. 

Jim: Hell, I learned some things from the talk. (Laughing)

Rafe: Yes, could you come down and help us, Sandburg?

Blair: Be glad to. 

Simon: Isn’t it time to move on? 

 

Connor:  6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 

Jim: I like this one, it would be perfect for a shirt. 

Blair: Connor, will you write that one down for us for a shirt? 

Connor: Sure enough. 

Simon: I want one too, it’s great. Good job on these, Connor. 

Connor: Mary, from Vice found them for me, so I didn’t even have to look. 

Sully: I have a question for Meg. Are you still using these in a class or are you just pulling out leg? 

Connor: I got my degree, so I’m done. 

Rafe: What do you mean you got your degree? You didn’t even tell us. 

Connor: Let’s face it, I was a little late coming into it and it was embarrassing. 

Jim: I say we have a dinner next week instead of Sullivan’s Pub to celebrate your degree. What did you get it in? 

Connor: Social Structure and Psychology. It’s amazing what you can do when you have years to do it in. Joel has been very supportive about all of this. 

Joel: She never wanted me to say anything, but she’s Dr. Megan Connor now. 

Dan: Dinner next Tuesday and we can bring presents if we want to. 

Simon: I still can’t believe you didn’t tell us, Joel. 

Joel: She didn’t want a big thing made out of it. I’m sorry, everyone. 

Jim: Dinner and presents next Tuesday night. Good thinking, Dan. 

Simon: Connor, you look uncomfortable, so how about we move this right along. 

 

Connor: 7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 

Jim: I’m jealous of the voices that talk to Blair. 

Blair: Very funny, dickhead. (Laughing)

Simon: I don’t think either of us hears voices. 

Sully: The only voices we hear are the one of our demanding children. 

Joel: I think this one is sort of dumb. 

Rafe: I agree with Joel. 

Simon: Then we could move it along even faster. 

 

Connor: 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 

Jim: This isn’t true. 

Blair: Speak for yourself. Man, when I used to get drunk, everyone looked good to me. 

Jim: You never said I looked good to you when we’d go out drinking. 

Blair: Well, what did you want me to say? Oh by the way, partner, I think you’re sexy as hell and I want your body now?

Simon: He might have gone for it; I think he was pretty open to you. 

Sully: He’s very open to you. (Laughing)

Sam: I always thought people looked great when I was drinking, so I totally understand Blair’s point of view. 

Dan: But not now, right? 

Sam: Of course not. Not ever, unless it’s you I’m looking at. 

Rafe: She’s such a sweet talker. I don’t need to be drunk to find something nice about anyone. 

Brown: (Falling out of his chair laughing) Just let me get my breath really fast. Brian, you have to get drunk to say anything sexy to me now, you know you would have had to drink to find someone gorgeous. You know it. 

Joel: But he only needs to see beauty, not talk to them. 

Rafe: I see beauty everywhere. 

Everyone slides out of their chairs and land on the floor laughing. 

Rafe: It’s nice to know I have such supportive friends. 

Simon: We could probably move now. 

 

Connor? 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 

Simon: This is a no brainer. We can take the next one. 

 

Connor: 10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.  

Blair: Now this is Jim sometimes. (Laughing his head off)

Jim: Thanks a lot, Blair. 

Simon: This is me sometimes. Especially when I’m doing something one of you talk me into. 

Sully: I always feel like this. 

Sam: Me too, it must be a family thing. 

Dan: Believe me, Sammy, there are no parts missing. You’re complete. 

Jim: Dan, you just insulted her. (Laughing)

Dan: I know, ain’t it cool? 

Rafe: Oh oh, Sam looks like she’s going to take a bite out of you. 

Brown: Nothing important, Sam. 

Sam: I would never hurt my Danny boy. 

Joel: That’s just too cute. 

Simon: I think we are safe to move along. 

 

Connor: 11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 

Jim: Blair alert. 

Blair: This does sound like me. 

Simon: I think it’s safe to say we all think it sounds like you, so we could move right along. 

 

Connor: 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 

 

Jim: Boy, isn’t that true? 

Blair: Jim, do you remember that time…

Jim: Let’s not even go there. 

Rafe: I remember, you were wasted, big boy. 

Brown: Don’t you hate how they never let you live something down? 

Jim: Yes. 

Sam: Does anyone else get high from Nyquil? 

Dan: I do. It’s cheaper than pot. 

Everyone bursts out laughing and Brown falls on the floor. 

Joel: I love Nyquil when I can’t sleep. 

Simon: I’ve never taken it, so I don’t know. 

Sully: Remember the other night when I made you that strong drink that I said would help your cold? Well it was Nyquil with Seven-Up. 

Simon: Let’s move before she makes fun of me some more. 

 

Connor: 13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 

Simon: No need to discuss this one. It’s true. 

 

Connor: 14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

Jim: I agree with this one. 

Simon: Connor, some of these don’t need a reply from us. Let’s skip them. Read the ones that you think we might enjoy. 

 

“That’s all for tonight. The rest of them are for another night. So next Tuesday we’ll meet at Saccony’s for me, right? “ Connor asked. 

They all got up to go and Jim hugged her first and said, “Congratulations, Connor. We knew you could do it.”

Everyone else followed suit and hugged her and said kind things. They all filed out of the room and left for the night. Another good night at Sullivan’s Pub. You can’t beat that with a stick. 

The end. 

 

 


	107. Reasons Coffee is Better than Women or a Gay Man.

Sullivan’s Pub Part 107  
Reasons Coffee is Better than Women or a Gay Man.   
By Patt

 

Thank you to Mary for the Ammo and the beta. 

 

When everyone walked into the private room at Sullivan’s Pub, Connor was standing there all alone. 

Jim asked, “Where’s Joel? Are you guys still fighting?”

“We’re going to be fighting for a long, long while, Mr. Ellison.”

“Hey, don’t get pissed off at Jim just because you and Joel had a fight.” Blair said angrily. 

“Why are you fighting?” Sully asked. 

“Because he thinks that I take too many chances with my life being a cop and he asked me to resign. I told him no, and he moved out two nights ago.” Connor explained. 

Simon stood there shocked and finally said, “Well, that’s just stupid, Connor. Why would he want to make you quit? What brought this on?”

“I’ll tell ya what brought it on, it could be when she was with Sandburg and me the other day she stood right up in the midst of flying bullets. It scared the crap out of us. Did you tell him about that, Connor?” Jim asked. 

“I had a good view of the main suspect, I had to take him down, and no, I didn’t tell him. I figured one of you did.” Connor responded heatedly. 

Dan said, “Well, you can’t just quit your job because Joel wants you to and I totally understand.”

Connor smiled at her friend and said, “Thank you, Dan. That means the world to me.”

Joel came walking into the room at that moment and everyone was quiet. Finally, Connor asked, “What are you doing here, Joel?”

“I love Sullivan’s Pub nights, I’m not giving them up even if you and I are done.”

“Joel, you know that you can’t just leave your family.” Jim said. 

“She takes too many chances, Jim, and it upsets me every single time. I can’t live like that. Now could we start the survey?” Joel said sadly. 

Simon: What are we discussing tonight?

Connor: Reasons coffee is better than a woman or a gay man. 

Everyone laughed. 

 

Connor: Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it. 

Blair: Jim never complains when I put whip cream in him. 

Simon: I knew this was coming. Ewww. 

Jim: Hey, like you’ve never used whip cream, Simon? I beg to differ. 

Simon: How do you know? 

Blair: We have our ways. (Laughing)

Simon: You tell them about our sex life? (Looking shocked at Sully)

Sully: Only the good parts, honey, the parts that make everyone jealous. 

Simon: I guess that’s okay then. 

Rafe: We like to use whip cream also. 

Brown: Especially in something. (Laughing)

Sam: You two are a riot. We use whip cream in things, on things wherever. We basically love whip cream. 

Dan: Not to mention, we love sex. (Laughing)

Joel: Megan used to love me to use whipped cream on her. But that’s not going to happen anymore. 

Simon: This would be a good time to move on, Connor? 

 

Connor: A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. 

Jim: Hey, Blair looks incredible in the morning. 

Blair: I do not. We both wake up with big time bed head and bad breath. Think about this, Jim. 

Jim: Okay, but you still look good. 

Blair: (Kisses Jim)

Simon: Sully looks almost like she did when she went to bed. 

Sully: So does Simon. Maybe we better rough each other up more before we go to sleep. (Smiling)

Rafe: I wake up looking bad, but Henri always looks like he did when he went to bed. 

Brown: It’s the no hair thing. 

Dan: I wake up badly. 

Sam: Says who? I love when your hair is all messed up, it turns me on. 

Dan: Yeah? 

Sam: Oh yeah. 

Joel: Megan used to always look gorgeous in the morning. She’s one of those lucky people that looks like she just went to bed also. She really is a beautiful person. (Looks like he’s going to cry)

Simon: Oh look, Connor, there’s a lull. 

 

Connor: You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee. 

Jim: Well, this one’s true. 

Blair: Boy howdy. 

Simon: Boy howdy???

Blair: I just mean I agree. 

Jim: Don’t you fall asleep after sex? 

Simon: Of course I do, I just wondered why Sandburg was talking like that. 

Sully: I thought it was cute. And yes, we both fall asleep afterwards, so this is true. 

Rafe: I fall asleep right away, but I’ve heard that my partner stays up and watches me sleep. So, he’s more like the cup of coffee. 

Brown: I can’t help it. I like that time of the night or morning. (Smiling)

Sam: We fall right to sleep, right, Dan? 

Dan: Actually, I do what Henri does. I watch you for sometimes up to an hour before I get sleepy. You’re very beautiful while you sleep. 

Sam: How about when I’m not sleeping? 

Dan: Do you even have to ask, baby? 

Joel: I used to watch Megan sleep afterwards. Sometimes I would fall right asleep and wake up about an hour later, so I would watch her sleep for an hour or two. That’s when we were in love. 

Simon: Knock it off, Joel; you’re upsetting your wife. Connor, move this along. 

 

Connor: Coffee comes with endless refills. 

Blair: Boy, is this one ever true. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had endless refills? 

Jim: Hey, I refill you every chance I get. (Laughing)

Blair: But you aren’t endless. 

Joel: None of us are, Blair. 

Rafe: Hey, I agree with Ellison. I think we keep up pretty darn good. 

Brown: But you aren’t endless. 

Sam: I think Dan is almost endless. (Laughing)

Dan: Don’t believe her, I’m not. 

Simon: I couldn’t do endless refills if I wanted to. I get too tired and when I’m tired, I’m grouchy. 

Sully: He is, so I just take as many refills as he can give me and count my blessings. (Kisses Simon)

Jim: Aren’t they cute? 

Simon: Could we move this along, Connor? 

 

Connor: Coffee is cheaper. 

Joel: I guess I won’t have to worry about that anymore, so I don’t care. 

Jim: That’s really mature, Joel. 

Blair: Jim, do you think coffee is cheaper than me? 

Jim: No one’s cheaper than you, babe. (Bursts out laughing)

Rafe: Coffee wins hands down. 

Brown: It would be nice if we didn’t have to spend but one dollar every time we wanted to feel nice. 

Sully: I know that coffee is way cheaper than me. And Joel, you stop being mean to your wife. 

Simon: Sully, stay out of it. If they want to be asses, let them. 

Joel: I’m not being an ass; I’m just telling her what I want. If she loved me she would do it. 

Dan: Joel, you can’t make her quit her job no matter how much more expensive than coffee she is. (Smiling)

Joel: No, I can’t make her, but I can’t live with her like she is either. 

Sam: What about the kids? 

Joel: What about them? 

Jim: Who’s going to get custody of them? Are you going to fight over that? 

Joel: We’ll do joint custody. Sam, I wondered if you would give me the name of a decent lawyer. 

Sam: No, thank you. I’m staying totally out of this. 

Simon: Connor, stop crying and ask the next question. Joel doesn’t really mean it. 

 

Connor: Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning. 

Joel: I’m going to have to get Megan out of my system too. I wish it could be as easy as coffee. 

Jim: Yes, coffee is out of your system until you realize you need more, much like how you’re going to feel without Megan. 

Blair: Ain’t that the truth? 

Simon: I think this saying isn’t quite true because you wake up wanting it, just like you want sex. 

Sully: So we can have both. (Smiling)

Rafe: We do have both in the morning? 

Jim: Every single morning? (Shocked and jealous)

Brown: Just about. 

Blair: Well, we’re going to have to need coffee just a little bit more, Jim. 

Jim: Sounds good to me. 

Dan: We also have both almost every morning. I set the alarm, get up to make the coffee and then I go back to make Sammy. (Laughs)

Sam: He sure does. He’s gotten quite good at handling both. 

Simon: I think we could move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: You can make coffee as sweet as you want. 

Joel: Megan used to be sweeter than the coffee, hands down. 

Jim: (Ignoring Joel) Blair is every bit as sweet as the coffee. 

Blair: Jim, you drink yours black. 

Jim: But you don’t, so I’m saying you’re as sweet as your coffee. 

Rafe: Henri drinks his really sweet, just like he is. 

Brown: Well, Bri drinks his black also, so I have nothing to compare him to but mine. And he’s a lot sweeter than mine. (Kisses Rafe)

Simon: Sully and I both drink ours black, but I know she’s sweeter than anything you guys probably drink. 

Sully: (Kissing Simon) Back at ya, babe. 

Dan: I love my sweet coffee and I adore my sweet Sammy. 

Sam: I guess that answers his. I drink mine sweet too and he’s way sweeter than the coffee. (Kisses Dan)

Simon: Okay, time to move. 

 

Megan Connor got up from the table and walked out of the room. Everyone knew that she was upset and they all glared at Joel. 

Jim started, “What’s wrong with you, Joel? She can’t be expected to leave her job just because it scares you a little bit. 

“She takes too many chances and I don’t want to wait around for a funeral.” Joel answered. 

“So you’re going to let her raise the kids alone and be all by herself? Worse yet, you’re going to let her raise the kids with another man?” Blair asked. 

“What do you mean another man?” Joel asked, totally confused. 

“As pretty and sweet as she is, she’s not going to be single for long. Then your kids will have a new second daddy. Is that what you want?” Simon inquired. 

“No, I don’t want to share her or the kids with another man, but she won’t give me what I need to make me happy. Don’t I count?” Joel wondered aloud. 

“Of course you count, Joel. But Megan has to be allowed to be herself, not someone you want her to be. That’s her job and she loves it.” Sully explained. 

“So, she counts but I don’t?” Joel really wanted to know. 

“Joel, you’re acting very immature about this. How many times have you been shot?” Sam asked quickly. 

“Four…”

“Did she ask you to quit so that you’d be there for the kids?” Sam continued to inquire. 

“No, she never asked me. Maybe she really doesn’t care one way or the other.” A depressed Joel admitted. 

“You’re so full of shit, Joel. She’s crazy about you. She loves you more than life itself and you know it. She’ll end up leaving the force for you, I know she will. But it’s wrong. It’s totally wrong.” Jim argued. 

Megan walked into the room and said, “No need to argue about it anymore. I can’t live without you, Joel, so I’ll give Simon my notice tomorrow. Will this make you happy?”

“Yes, I’ll feel like you’re safe for the first time in your life.”

Simon stood up and said, “Are we going to finish this thing or not?”

Everyone looked depressed and they knew that Connor wouldn’t be a happy homemaker for long. 

 

Connor: You can always get fresh coffee. 

Joel: Does this mean we want a fresh woman every time? 

Jim: That’s what I would say and I don’t agree with this at all. 

Blair: You’d better not. 

Joel: I don’t agree with it either. 

Sully: This is a terrible saying. 

Simon: Thankfully, I like my coffee just the way it is. (Kisses Sully)

Rafe: But we can always make things fresher in the bedroom. New things, fun things and hot things to do. 

Brown: That’s true. So we could have fresh all the time too. 

Sam: I keep things very fresh for Danny. 

Dan: She does and she is. (Kisses Sam)

Simon: Will you look at this? We’re done for a change. What’s the next one, Connor?

 

Connor: You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot when you get back. 

Jim: (Laughing) Now this might be tricky. 

Blair: Damn tricky.

Joel: But there are things to do to keep the other one hot and bothered. 

Simon: Is it just me, or is this one dumb? 

Sully: They’re all silly, honey. You just didn’t notice. Relax and make the best of it. 

Rafe: I think that we agree with all of you. 

Simon: I think it’s safe to say that we all agree that it’s hard to keep things hot when you’re not in the room. So how about the next one, Connor?

 

Connor: They sell coffee at police stations. 

Jim: Yeah, I wish we could get the other at the station. 

Blair: (Punches Jim) Who do you want to have sex with? 

Jim: You, you doofus. 

Blair: Oh, well that’s okay then. 

Rafe: It would be nice, wouldn’t it? 

Brown: I’d have a hard time concentrating. (Smiles)

Joel: I would like this too. 

Simon: You won’t have your wife there so you don’t get to sell coffee at the station. Neither do I. 

Sully: You better believe it. 

Dan: I think in my department I could have Sam there anytime I wanted to. 

Sam: Dan, not to upset you, but I don’t want to go to your department. 

Everyone laughs but Connor. 

Simon: Oh will you look at the time? 

 

Connor: Coffee goes down easier. 

Jim: He’s got a point. Not that I’m complaining, but I do love the taste of my coffee. 

Blair: I totally understand and I agree with you. 

Simon: I wouldn’t know. 

Sully: Well, I do and I like coffee better. 

Rafe: Henri is going to agree with this, but I don’t. I love his coffee. (Laughs)

Brown: I do think I’d rather have coffee taste. 

Dan: Well, we all know that Sam thinks she’d rather have coffee taste too. 

Sam: Damn straight. (Laughing)

Joel: I don’t know how Megan fills about this. 

Connor: Coffee would be preferred if I had a choice. (Sadly looks at the next question)

Simon: Time for another. 

 

Connor: A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter. 

Jim: Yeah, right. 

Blair: What are you talking about? I love your size coffee. 

Jim: But if you could have a large, you would take one, am I right? 

Simon: Oh for Christ’s sake, let’s get over this one. We all know we wish we had bigger equipment, but we don’t, so let’s move on, Connor. 

 

Connor: Your coffee doesn't talk to you. 

Jim: Sometimes I do feel like this, sorry about that, babe. 

Blair: Well, I feel like that too. So we’re even. 

Joel: I never get tired of listening to Megan talk. 

Blair: It might be awhile before you hear her usually happy voice. 

Jim: Shush. It’s none of our business. 

Blair: Yes, it is. Joel, are you going to let her quit?

Joel: No, I planned on telling her later that she doesn’t have to leave her job. 

Connor: Really?

Joel: Yes, really, but I have to ask you to be a little more careful from now on. Please?

Connor: I promise to do my best. 

Simon: Back to the coffee quote, sometimes I get a little tired of hearing everyone talk. 

Sully: That makes two of us. 

Rafe: I get tired of St. Henri talking now and then but then I remember how much I love him and realize I’d be lost without his voice. 

Brown: I hate when you call me St. Henry. (Pouts)

Rafe: Sorry, babe. (Kisses Brown)

Sam: I never get tired of hearing Danny’s voice. 

Dan: And I never get tired of hearing Sam’s. 

Simon: Are we done yet? 

“As a matter of fact, we are done. There were more but I want to talk to my husband tonight, so we’ll do these some other night. Have a safe trip home everyone.” Connor said as she cleaned up her things and headed out the door with Joel. 

“Night, everyone.” Blair called out. 

“Night.” Jim followed after him. 

Rafe, Brown, Dan, Sam, Simon and Sully all stayed behind to talk awhile, but they called out they’re goodbye’s. 

It turned out to be a good evening at Sullivan’s again. It seemed that the group couldn’t have some type of angst, but it always worked out for the best. 

The end: Sullivan’s Pub Part 107


	108. Men's Rules

Sullivan’s Pub Part 108

Men’s Rules

By Patt

 

For my Moonridge Winner, Andrea. Thank you for bidding on me.  
Patt 

 

 

Megan and Joel were waiting on everyone for the Sullivan’s Pub Survey when Joel stopped talking and just kissed his wife quite passionately. 

 

“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on? We need to get a room, I think.” Conner kissed him back just as passionately. 

 

Everyone walked through the door and Rafe said, “Oh for crying out loud, get a room.”

 

“Funny you should mention that, I just got done telling my hubby the same thing.” Conner answered. 

 

“Are we going to do this or what?” Grouchy Simon asked as usual. 

 

“I’m ready, everyone sit down and we’ll get started. Tonight it’s about Men’s Rules. Do you agree with them, do you follow them or do you think they’re stupid?” Conner said quickly as everyone sat down. 

 

“I’m ready.” Simon bellowed. 

 

All of the group laughed and he just looked at them as to say, “What?”

 

 

Conner: Men are NOT mind readers.

 

Jim: I think this one is true. Blair thinks I’m a mind reader, but I’m not. 

 

Blair: You don’t even have a mind most of time, dumb ass.

 

Rafe: Sandburg gets the prize for calling his beloved, dumb ass after one question.

 

Blair: Well, he insulted me. 

 

Jim: I did not. You do expect me to read minds and I don’t. So there. 

 

Brown: Ding, ding, ding. Ellison wins for the quick comeback to his beloved Sandburg. 

 

Simon: I’m not going to listen to this all night long.

 

Sully: Then stop listening. Go sit at the bar if you’re going to be such a damn grump. 

 

Sam: Ding, ding, ding. Sully wins for telling her husband to go sit at the bar during the first question. 

 

Dan: I think I might go sit at the bar. 

 

Sam: Not a chance. You’re staying here and making these guys laugh if it kills us. 

 

Joel: I think that Meggie thinks I read minds too and I don’t mean that badly, I think that some of us just don’t read body language that well. Look at Jim, ignoring Blair’s body language. What do you think it’s saying right now, Jim? 

 

Jim: It’s saying go fuck yourself.

 

The first burst of laughter broke out for the evening and it made everyone feel good. 

 

Simon: I think we’re ready to move on before Blair’s body language hits Jim in the mouth. (Snickering)

 

 

Conner: Learn to work the toilet seat.  
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.  
We need it up, you need it down.  
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

Jim: I don’t agree with this one because I have two girls who have both fallen into the toilet when I left it up. I’d rather have Blair yell at me then the two of them. 

 

Blair: (Laughing) This is absolutely true. 

 

Rafe: I can just see those two girls yelling at Jim. It’s cracking me up. 

 

Brown: Do you not remember Lancey when you left it up that one time? She yelled at you in the middle of a grocery store.

 

Everyone was laughing. 

 

Simon: I have to be extra careful with Simone too. So I always put it down when I’m done. It’s for Sully too. 

 

Sully: He does always put it down. He’s such a respectable pisser. (Snickering)

 

Sam: Dan has always put the seat down when he was done. 

 

Dan: I learned it at a child and it stuck with me. 

 

Brown: I forgot to say that I always put the seat down because I had all of those sisters and they would have cleaned my clock for leaving it up. 

 

Joel: I try and remember to leave it down, but I sometimes forget and I have both Meggie and the girls yelling at me. 

 

Simon: Do you hear that lull in the action? Must be time to move on. 

 

 

Conner: Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  
Let it be.

 

Jim: I think I might agree with this one. 

 

Blair: You do. When you’re watching sports the rest of us are ignored. 

 

Everyone: AWWWWWWWWW!

 

Jim: I don’t ignore you; I just like to watch sports. I hear you; I like to pretend I don’t. (Snickers and then leans in for a quick kiss from his lover)

 

Simon: Isn’t that cute? Well, I watch sports on Saturday and Sunday and Sully entertains the kids for the most part. Sully, do you mind that I watch sports?

 

Sully: No, it gives me time to spend with the kids alone. Besides if there is something special going on, you don’t mind giving up sports and being with me and the kids. (Leans in for a soft luscious kiss from her hubby)

 

Rafe: We have the kids watching sports with us. We make it a family affair. 

 

Brown: But we don’t make them and if something comes up we don’t mind missing something. 

 

Rafe: No, because we have a DVR now. 

 

Everyone laughs and knows this is the truth. 

 

Joel: I don’t watch sports unless the kids and Meggie want to watch them with me. 

 

Blair: That’s so sweet, Joel. 

 

Jim: Blair, you watch sports too. 

 

Blair: I know, but I think it’s sweet that Joel does this. We could all take a lesson from him. 

 

Dan: I don’t watch a lot of sports, so I’m with Joel on this one. 

 

Sam: I watch more sports than he does and he spends time with the kids while I watch. 

 

Simon: I hear a lull. 

 

 

Conner: Shopping is NOT a sport.  
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

Jim: I totally agree with this one. 

 

Blair: He does, the kids hate him sometimes. 

 

Jim: They do not. 

 

Blair: Do too. 

 

Simon: Stop it both of you. 

 

Sully: Simon hates shopping and won’t go unless I beg him and promise certain things when we get home. 

 

Simon: Why not just tell them everything, Sully? Geeze, I do hate shopping. 

 

Joel: I’m not wild about it, but I go if Meggie goes because I like to hang with her. 

 

Rafe: Do you two do everything together? 

 

Joel: Mostly, yeah. Why? Do you think that’s weird? 

 

Rafe: It’s just not normal. I like to have some alone time from Henri now and then. And I’m sure he feels the same way. 

 

Brown: No, I like spending time with you. 

 

Simon: Excuse me, this is about shopping. Get back on track. 

 

Rafe: I hate shopping but Henri loves it, so he usually does most of the shopping. 

 

Sam: And this doesn’t make you feel guilty. Danny goes shopping with me all of the time. He might not like it, but he knows it makes me happy. 

 

Dan: It does make her happy and I live to make her day. (Leans in for a quick kiss)

 

Rafe: So you all think I’m selfish for not shopping with Henri? 

 

Simon: Who cares?

 

Jim: I don’t think you’re selfish, I hate shopping too. 

 

Blair: But you do it anyhow. 

 

Jim: But I don’t like it. 

 

Brown: As of now, you are shopping with me from now on. Suck it up, Bri. 

 

Simon: Finally we’re on track. Time to leave the station, Conner. (Laughs)

 

 

Conner: Crying is blackmail.

 

Rafe: This one is stupid. No one cries for blackmail, right? 

 

Everyone is quiet and no one says a word. 

 

Conner: Blair, have you ever done this? 

 

Blair: Once or twice. 

 

Jim: You’ve got to be kidding? You cry for blackmail? 

 

Blair: You never have?

 

Jim: Hell no. I only cry for very good reasons, blackmail isn’t one of them. 

 

Joel: I’ve never done this either, but I’m afraid to hear if Meggie does. 

 

Simon: OH Meggie, do you cry for blackmail?

 

Conner: Yes, I do now and then. I can’t help it, Joel. It’s like having a superpower or something. 

 

Sully: I do this a lot. 

 

Simon: What?

 

Sully: Don’t you notice that when I cry you give in to whatever it is we’re fighting about? 

 

Simon: Well, I won’t from now on. 

 

Sully: Yes you will because you hate to see me cry. 

 

Rafe: Well, I know we’re safe on this one. 

 

Brown: Not necessarily. I’ve used this from time to time. 

 

Rafe: I hate when you cry and you do this on purpose. 

 

Brown: No, I was crying anyhow and knew it would get your attention. 

 

Dan: Sam uses it all the time, but I’m tough I can handle her. 

 

Sam: Yeah right. 

 

Jim: Dan, can you handle it when she cries? 

 

Dan: You’re joking right? I can’t stand to even see the kids cry let alone Sammy. And she knows it too. 

 

Sam: Yes, I do. (Smiling and then pulls Dan in for a kiss)

 

Simon: Look, I think we’re ready for the next one. 

 

 

Conner: Ask for what you want.  
Let us be clear on this one:  
Subtle hints do not work!  
Strong hints do not work!  
Obvious hints do not work!  
Just Say It!

 

Jim: Boy, do I ever agree with this one. Blair does this to me all of the time and then gets pissed off when I don’t get his hints. 

 

Blair: I do. 

 

Joel: Meggie does this to me sometimes and I really wish she would just come right out and tell me what she wants.

 

Conner: I’ll try to from now on, honey bear. 

 

Simon: Oh god, here comes the honey bear stuff. 

 

Sam: I love the honey bear stuff. 

 

Dan: So do I. 

 

Jim: So do I. 

 

Simon: We’re supposed to be discussing our mates asking for what they want. In our case I wish Sully would just come right out and ask because I’m always confused when she gives hints. 

 

Sully: I’ll try and tell you up front from now on, honey. 

 

Simon: Thank you. 

 

Rafe: Henri almost always tells me right up front, so I luck out. 

 

Brown: But you, my main man, tend to give hints. 

 

Rafe: I do?

 

Brown: Yes, you do. 

 

Rafe: I’ll work on it, H. 

 

Simon: Oh look at the time. 

 

 

Conner: Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

 

Jim: Aren’t they?

 

Blair: Sometimes we want more than yes or no. 

 

Jim: I’ll work on it, babe. 

 

Simon: I like the answers yes and no. What’s wrong with them? 

 

Sully: Sometimes we want to know why you feel that way about something and yes and no don’t tell us a thing. 

 

Simon: I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try. 

 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

 

Joel: I try not to give yes and no answers alone because Meggie doesn’t like them either. 

 

Rafe: Do you do everything she wants? 

 

Joel: Yes. 

 

Rafe: Wait a minute, that’s a yes answer, how come you just gave me one. 

 

Joel: Because I don’t get to sleep with you and care about what you think. 

 

Brown: (Laughing) This will teach you to mess with Joel. Bri gives yes and no answers all of the time. They drive me nuts sometimes as well as driving the kids nuts too. 

 

Rafe: The kids complain? 

 

Brown: Sometimes. You’re pretty closed mouth sometimes and they would like a good reason to why you said no. 

 

Rafe: I’ll work on it. I promise. 

 

Dan: I give Sam answers that will please her because when she’s pleased I’m pleased. 

 

Sam: (Laughing) You bet your boots, buddy. (Leans in for a kiss)

 

Simon: Oh look, another lull. 

 

 

Conner: Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

Jim: This is so not true. I talk to Blair about everything and he is very understanding. 

 

Blair: Well, maybe not everything, but usually you’re pretty good at being sympathetic with me. 

 

Jim: So you listen better than I do?

 

Simon: Yes, he does. Now let’s move on to Sully and me. Sully is the sympathetic one and I usually fall asleep when she tells me stuff. I’m a horrible husband and I have no idea why she stays with me. 

 

Sully: Cuz you fuck so well. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Joel: Is this true, Sully? 

 

Sully: Simon is a very understanding man, but only when he’s not exhausted from work all day long. But usually he’s pretty sympathetic. I have no complaints. 

 

Simon: Cool. 

 

Joel: Meggie is the understanding and compassionate one in this relationship. Sorry, honey. I’ll try and do better. 

 

Conner: Honey bear, you listen and love more than anyone at this table, so don’t you go changing anything. I love you. 

 

Dan: Sammy is understanding and so am I, so we don’t have any complaints here, do we? 

 

Sam: Nope, we’re both okay on this one. 

 

Rafe: Okay, I already know I don’t listen half the time, so I’ll work on it, H. 

 

Brown: Thank you, Bri. 

 

Simon: Oh look, maybe we’ll have a good one next. 

 

 

Conner: A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

Blair: Jim never gets headaches. 

 

Jim: Nope and neither does Blair. 

 

Sully: I’ve heard that sex helps headaches, so this excuse doesn’t work. 

 

Simon: You all give me a friggin’ headache. (Laughs)

 

Joel: Meggie, thank god, never gets headaches. 

 

Rafe: We have a headache free household, don’t we, H? 

 

Brown: Yes, we’re free of headaches. Did they mention any other kinds of aches? 

 

Simon: Don’t even go there. 

 

Sam: We don’t have headaches at our home either. 

 

Dan: Praise the lord. 

 

Simon: How about a good one, Conner? 

 

 

Conner: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

Jim: This should be true. I hate when Blair throws things up to me that I’ve forgotten about. 

 

Blair: Start keeping a journal and you won’t forget so easily. 

 

Jim: You write everything I do wrong in the journal? 

 

Blair: I write everything in my journal whether it be right or wrong. 

 

Simon: Do you write about us in there? 

 

Blair: Yes, sometimes. Especially you. (Laughs)

 

Simon: I think that I don’t want to be reminded of something I said more than a week ago either. Sully, this is a new rule. 

 

Sully: I won’t remember after tomorrow. I only remember what you say that will get you in trouble. 

 

Simon: Oh great. 

 

Brown: I tend to use this against Bri all the time. I’m sorry, babe. 

 

Rafe: I’m still here so it must not have hurt me all that much. (Kisses H)

 

Joel: Thankfully Meggie doesn’t always bring up things from the past, so I’m lucky that way. 

 

Jim: You’re lucky in a lot of ways, Joel. 

 

Blair: What do you mean by that? 

 

Jim: I meant it nice. 

 

Joel: I took it in the best way, Jim. Thank you. 

 

Sam: Dan tends to bring up things from the past now and then. 

 

Dan: I’ll work on it, baby. 

 

 

Conner: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

 

Simon: We all agree with this one, so let’s move on to the next one. 

 

 

Conner: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

Blair: Jim does this sometimes. 

 

Joel: Jim, I can’t believe you do this. 

 

Jim: It’s when I’m watching the damn football games. I can’t help it. I’ll work on it, Chief. 

 

Everyone: Awwwwwwww. 

 

Sully: Simon does this. 

 

Simon: I’ll work on it, Sully. 

 

Joel: We don’t do it at our house, so I’m surprised that anyone else does. 

 

Simon: Not all of us are St. Joel. 

 

Conner: Don’t you pick on my husband. He’s not a Saint, but he is a good man. 

 

Rafe: I do this, I know I do it and still I don’t stop. I’m sorry, H. 

 

Brown: It’s all right; we tend to tune you out during your sports, so we’re even. 

 

Sam: That’s too funny, Henri. Danny is very attentive, so I have no complaints. However, I do this sometimes and will work on it in the future. 

 

Dan: You do, but it’s not too bad. 

 

Simon: Come on, Conner, give us a good one. 

 

 

Conner: ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

 

Conner: Let me rephrase this, does anyone do this? 

 

Blair: Jim does. 

 

Jim: I do not. 

 

Blair: Jim, when you repainted Rayne’s room, you said do you want tea rose or dusty rose for the walls. 

 

Jim: That’s different, we needed to know how dark to go for the walls, and they were the choices you liked. 

 

Blair: But I called it pink or darker pink. 

 

Jim: Pink is much blushier than rose. Rose is prettier. 

 

Everyone bursts out laughing again. 

 

Jim: What? Doesn’t anyone else do this? 

 

Brown: Brian does. He can tell you any color he likes in the greens because that’s what color we painted our bedroom. Tell them what color we used on the wall, baby. 

 

Rafe: We used spruce green on the walls and mint on the borders. What’s so funny about that? Why are you all laughing? 

 

Jim: Those are great colors too, Bri. I love the way your bedroom turned out. 

 

This started a whole new round of laughter. 

 

Simon: Can we go to the next one. We know that only Jim and Rafe are really gay. 

 

Jim: Shut up. 

 

Rafe: Yeah, what he said. 

 

 

Conner: If it itches, it will be scratched.  
We do that.

 

 

Jim: I don’t do this purposely. 

 

Blair: No, but you do tend to scratch things in public. 

 

Simon: We all do, Sandburg, that’s why this one is dumb. 

 

Joel: Don’t tell Meggie this one is dumb. We don’t all scratch in public, so there. 

 

Blair: I don’t. 

 

Everyone burst out laughing. 

 

Simon: Everyone does, Sandburg, especially you. 

 

Blair: Let’s ask the women. Conner?

 

Conner: You all fondle yourselves at least ten times a day, so I don’t even want to get into it. 

 

Jim: Wait a minute, fondle? 

 

Conner: Yes, fondle. It’s like your hand goes down and doesn’t expect to find it there and you’re so pleased that you just give it a little rub, scratch or fondle.

 

Sully: You do this daily. 

 

Sam: I’m here to say that this does happen all the time. You men don’t even notice it when it’s another guy doing it. It’s like you think its normal procedure. 

 

Simon: Okay, enough of this. Let’s move this baby on. 

 

 

Conner: If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

Jim: Why do you say it’s nothing, if it’s something? 

 

Blair: Because that’s what we do. Try to drive our mates insane. 

 

Simon: I have to say that this drives me nuts too. I know when Sully is lying, but I just let it go because I don’t want the argument. 

 

Sully: Well, that’s nice to know. 

 

Simon: It’s the truth. 

 

Joel: I always ask Meggie again because I know when she’s lying. 

 

Conner: He does. 

 

Rafe: I don’t ask H again, because he should have told me the truth to start with. 

 

Brown: You’re pissing me off, Brian. 

 

Rafe: See, at least I know that you’re pissed off. That’s more like it. 

 

Sam: I don’t tell Danny things are fine if they aren’t. I tell him exactly how I feel all the time and I’m sure he doesn’t always appreciate it. 

 

Dan: Yes, I do. I honestly do appreciate it. I know how you feel at all times. It works out better that way. I think we should all tell the truth when someone asks what’s wrong or how are you feeling. 

 

Jim: Sometimes I don’t want to hear the truth. 

 

Blair: Tough, from now on you’re hearing it. 

 

Simon: Okay, we’re done here. Time to move on. 

 

 

Conner: Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

Jim: I always ask for directions, it’s Chris here that doesn’t. 

 

Blair: Very funny, hot shot. 

 

Simon: I don’t need directions because Sully takes care of it for me. 

 

Sully: I do. I always get maps from Mapquest or MSN Maps. It helps keep his blood pressure down. 

 

Rafe: I don’t need a map either because H is a worry wart and looks up everything before we leave. 

 

Brown: And this is a bad thing? 

 

Rafe: Well, sometimes I think you might just get a little carried away on it. 

 

Sam: Before this breaks out into an argument, let me say that Danny and I both look things up before we leave. We’re both worry warts. 

 

Dan: We sure are and there isn’t a thing wrong with it, Henri. 

 

Rafe: Why do you always take his side, Dan? 

 

Dan: Because he’s usually right?

 

Rafe: Fuck you. 

 

Simon: Okay, enough of the fuck you’s. What’s next, Conner? 

 

Conner: That was it for tonight. I hope you had a good time. 

 

Jim: I had a great time, as I almost always do. 

 

Blair: I had a wonderful time. Goodnight, everyone. 

 

Simon: We had fun too, and you all drive safe. 

 

Sully: I forgot to ask, do you all like the idea of us having our own soft drink dispensers in this room? 

 

Blair: That’s a great idea. We won’t have to go to the bar for anything. 

 

Jim: Will it have good water also? 

 

Sully: Yes, Jim, it will have good water. 

 

Conner: I think it’s a great idea. Thank you for thinking of it, Sully. You’re so good to us. 

 

Sully: And thank you, Megan for giving us something fun to do each and every week. Goodnight, everyone. 

 

Brown: Goodnight all. I like the idea of having our own drinks in here too. 

 

Rafe: And we had a really good time again tonight. Night, everyone. 

 

Joel: Meggie, they always have a good time, so don’t worry about it. 

 

Dan: We had a great time and I think soft drinks in here sounds fantastic. 

 

Sam: My sister is just the best, isn’t she? Megan, we had a wonderful time. Thank you. Goodnight everyone. 

 

They all walked out to their cars and SUV’s in the parking lot and drove home. Another good night at Sullivan’s Pub. Can’t beat that with a stick. 

 

Life is good. 

 

The end.


	109. The Idiot

Sullivan’s Pub Part 109

The Idiot

By Patt

 

For my Moonridge Winner, Andrea. Thank you for bidding on me.  
Patt 

 

 

Jim Ellison was off for the next two days to make some plans about some things he needed to take care of. Blair Sandburg didn’t know about these things, so who knows what will happen? 

 

“Sandy, where is your partner today?” Conner asked as she stopped in front of Blair’s desk. 

 

“He’s out doing his thing. He’s off today and tomorrow. He said he had some things to do. God, only knows what those things are. I don’t even want to go there. He’s probably redoing one of the kids’ bedrooms.”

 

Both Conner and Blair laughed. 

 

“So how are things going at the home-front, Sandy? You’ve seemed quiet lately.” 

 

“Jim seems preoccupied with something and it’s starting to bug me. I don’t know what the hell he’s got on his mind, but he better get it off.” Blair got closer to Conner and whispered, “He’s not giving me any sex, hasn’t for a week now, he keeps saying he’s tired.”

 

Conner burst out laughing and said, “Oh now I see what the problem is. Just take control of the situation tonight and show him who’s boss. Don’t give him a chance to say no.”

 

“I’ll try. I have to go ask some witnesses some questions, would you like to go along?” 

 

“Let me tell Simon that I’m going along with you.” Conner went off to tell Simon what she and Sandburg were doing and then they left the building. 

 

As they drove along, Blair and Conner saw Jim walking down the street with a woman neither of them new and he hugged her. 

 

Conner drove faster hoping that Blair didn’t see what she just saw and Blair said, “Conner tell me that I didn’t just see my husband hugging a woman on the street for gods sake.”

 

“I’m sure there’s a good reason, stop being so damn paranoid.” Conner was telling him this, but she didn’t quite believe it herself. 

 

“Paranoid? He just hugged someone I’ve never seen before. What do you think it was?” Blair was so angry, but he was trying to keep cool. 

 

“First of all, he might have been running an errand and ran into someone he went to school with. He would hug an old friend, right?” She hoped this would calm him down a little bit. 

 

“Let’s just get these witnesses questioned and then I can go home and see what Jim said he did all day. If he doesn’t mention the woman, I’m going to be pissed.” 

 

“Remember what I said about taking control in the bedroom tonight.” Conner reminded him. 

 

“Who the hell wants to think about sleeping with him when he was hugging a woman?” Blair just sat there acting as if he were in shock. 

 

Surely, Jim can’t be seeing anyone on the side. I’m just letting my imagination get carried away. He loves me and I love him. I have to stop this right now.

 

“Well, see what he says about the woman and then bop his brains out.” Conner laughed at the thought of Ellison finding out he and Sandy talked about their sex lives. 

 

“We’ll see what happens when I get home. He’s picking the kids up and making dinner so we’ll see if he’s acting any different at home.” Blair was almost certain he had nothing to worry about. Yah, right.

 

They got the questions of the witnesses taken care of and went back to the station. Brown walked up to Conner and said, “What crawled up inside Sandburg and died? What a fucking grouch. Jim needs to take care of his boy.” Brown was smiling even though he was a little worried about Sandburg. 

 

“Nothing is wrong, he’s just having an off day. We’re all entitled, you know?” Conner asked. 

 

“Well, is something wrong with Ellison and him?” Brown was now worried. 

 

“He just needs to take care of some business at home tonight.” She explained. 

 

“Should I offer to be there if he needs someone to talk to?” Henri really was one of the nicest people on the earth and everyone knew it. 

 

“No, just leave him alone and let him work it out himself.” Conner hoped that Brown wouldn’t say anything to him. 

 

Everyone in the Bullpen noticed how grumpy Sandburg was until it was time to go home. They all wondered if whatever Jim had was catching. Blair left and drove home slowly thinking about his life. 

 

It’s not like I don’t know he loves me. I know that. And I love him, why is this bothering me so much? I think it’s because it’s a woman. It wouldn’t be as bad if it was a man, because then I’d know what I was up against. But with a woman, I’m totally out of my league. We’ll see what he says when I get home.

 

Blair pulled into the driveway and honked to let the kids know he was home. They all came running out the front door yelling, Poppy, Poppy, Poppy.”

 

Blair got out of his pickup and scooped up Rayne in his arms and hugged the other two. “How are my babies.”

 

“Poppy, we’re not babies…” Drake said laughing. 

 

“Come on Poppy, Daddy is in a good mood and he’s making Shish-ka-bobs for dinner, your favorite.” Jade was just about to burst trying to get her Poppy into the house to say hello to Daddy. 

 

“Did you kids have a good day, today?” Blair asked. 

 

All three kids answered, “Yes.” Blair laughed because that’s all they said. They had nothing more to add to it, he guessed. 

 

Blair walked in the door with three kids attached to him and Jim smiled at the picture before him. “Hey Chief, how was your day?”

 

Blair walked across the room, still carrying Rayne and kissed Jim soundly. Jim looked at him oddly and said, “Everything all right, Blair?”

 

“Everything is fine; the better question would be how your day was. Anything exciting happen today?” Blair asked as he looked over the dinner that Jim was making. 

 

“No, I didn’t leave home today until I went to pick up the kids. It was a pretty boring day. But I did get Drake’s shelves put up in his closet as we had planned. He has a lot of room in there now.” Jim said casually. 

 

Blair knew now that there was something going on and there was no getting away from it. He set Rayne down and asked, “How long before dinner?”

 

“About 30 minutes. You have time for a shower if you want to.” Jim still had no idea that he was fucking up his life. 

 

Blair walked into the bedroom and started getting undressed. Jim poked his head in the door and asked, “Everything all right, Chief? You seem really quiet tonight.”

 

“I’ll be fine, just had a really hard day.” He then walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Jim had an idea that there was something going on, but he sure didn’t know what it was. 

 

While in the shower, Blair had some thinking to do. So he denies being with her today, hell he denies even being out of the house today except to go and get the kids. So who was the bitch on the street and how into her is Jim? I’m going to have to show him he still loves me tonight and we’ll see if that helps things.

 

When Blair walked out of the bedroom after his shower, Jim could see that something was definitely wrong, but didn’t want to cause problems in front of the kids. Everything was on the table and they were ready to eat.

 

“So Drake, what did you do today?” Blair asked casually. 

 

“I have to give my book report and the teacher said it was awesome. She had never had anyone choose To Kill A Mockingbird before. I got an A+ on it, Poppy.”

 

Jim looked surprised and said, “That’s great, Drake, why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“Because when you came and got us you were tired and grouchy. I didn’t want to bother you.” Drake explained. 

 

Blair looked over and glared at Jim. “So why were you so tired and grouchy?” 

 

“I worked all day on the damn closet. Excuse me for wanting his room to have more room.” Jim was getting irritated and didn’t even know for sure why. 

 

“Daddy and Poppy do you want to hear what I did in class today?” Jade asked sweetly. 

 

“I do.” Blair replied. 

 

Jim took a turn at glaring at Blair this time and said, “We both do, honey. Tell us what you did today.”

 

“I was in the beginning Spelling Bee and I made it to the finals. So you both have to come to my school for the Spelling Bee. Okay?”

 

“That’s very exciting, Jadey. I’m glad to hear this.” Blair said proudly. “We’ll take off whatever day we need to go.”

 

“Rayney, what did you do today?” Blair asked. 

 

“Nothing, I was bored.” Rayne smiled at everyone and went back to eating. 

 

“Jim, I think that Rayne is bored in that first grade class and we should maybe find something a little more appropriate. What do you think about putting her in an accelerated class?” Blair asked and waited for Jim’s answer. 

 

“But Chief, she loves the school and being with all of her cousins doesn’t hurt anything either.”

 

“But she could be in second grade already as smart as she is. I think you’re holding her back.” Blair wasn’t going to back down on this one. 

 

“By all means check it out then. Whatever you think would be better for her. I just think a change right now might not be the best thing in the world.” Jim tried to make Blair understand. 

 

“Well none of us like changes but we don’t always get a choice in life, right?” Blair decided he might bring this up now before he got madder. 

 

“Blair, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but get a grip.” Jim got up and started taking things over to the sink. 

 

The kids all watched and got nervous seeing their Daddy and their Poppy mad at each other. “Poppy, don’t be mad at Daddy.” Jade pleaded. 

 

“I’m not mad at him; I just want to think about some changes for Rayne, is all.” Blair tried to explain to his oldest daughter. 

 

Jim walked over to the table and said, “Is everyone done eating?”

 

Jade answered, “I get the first shower.” Jade went running from the table and was getting her pj’s and underwear. 

 

“Jade get back in here and clear your plate off the table.” Blair hollered out. 

 

Jade threw her things into the bathroom and said, “Sorry, Poppy. I forgot.” She cleared off her plate and cup and put them in the sink. “Daddy, do I need to wash them off for the dishwasher?”

 

“No, I’ll get that. You go and take your shower now.” Jim answered.

 

Drake got up and took his things to the sink and then went back and reminded Rayne to do hers. 

 

Blair said, “Drake, you go ahead and use our bathroom for your shower so you’ll be done in time to watch your movie tonight.”

 

“Yay, we’re watching Sky High. It’s so cool, Poppy, wait until you see it.” Drake ran for his things and took off for Jim and Blair’s shower. 

 

“I don’t have a shower to go in.” Rayne said pouting just like Blair which made Jim smile big time. 

 

“You can go as soon as Jadey is done.” Jim told her. 

 

The night fly by and the men sat down to watch the movie with the kids. Blair noticed that Jim fell asleep as soon as it started, making him madder and madder. 

 

When the movie was over the two men tucked their children in bed and went to get ready for bed themselves. Blair had been up since 5:00 that morning and had to get up again tomorrow the same time. 

 

Once in the bedroom, Jim shut the door and went into the bathroom. While he was in there, Blair locked the door and made his plans. When Jim came walking out of the bathroom, Blair was standing there naked and hard. 

 

“Chief, I’m really tired tonight. How about a rain check?” Jim asked while smiling. 

 

Blair walked over and started to undress Jim quickly and noticed that Jim was hard as a rock. “Chief, I really don’t feel like it tonight.”

 

Blair pushed a naked Jim onto the bed and said, “Tough.”

 

He then went between Jim’s legs and began to nibble his way up to Jim’s balls, making Jim moan with need. Jim had indeed forgotten that he was tired and was wide awake. As Blair took Jim’s cock into his mouth, Jim ran his fingers through Blair’s soft curly hair and began to push Blair’s head in time with his own thrusts. Jim couldn’t believe how good this felt and said, “Oh yeah Chief, just like that. Suck me, baby.” And suck him Blair did. He began to suck harder and harder and Jim came while throwing his head back, trying to remain quiet. 

 

Without missing a beat, Blair got the lube and began to loosen up Jim’s anus. Jim began to moan with the feel of Blair’s finger up inside of him. Every time he ran across Jim’s prostate, Jim began to harden again. 

 

Jim noticed the desperation in Blair’s actions and asked, “Blair, what’s going on with you tonight? Something is wrong, tell me.”

 

As Blair slid into Jim without even listening to him, he began to fuck Jim harder then he had ever fucked him before. He wasn’t even waiting to see if Jim was ready for him to slide into him with such force. Jim’s hard-on left because he was officially now in pain. Blair had never been an inconsiderate lover and he was wondering why he was starting that night. 

 

“Chief, you’re hurting me.” Jim pulled at Blair and got his attention. He might put up with a lot, but he wasn’t going to lie there and let Blair hurt him for no reason. 

 

“What?” Blair asked as he continued to pound into Jim’s ass. 

 

“I said you’re hurting me. Stop.”

 

Blair stopped and waited a few minutes before he pulled out. “I’m sorry Jim, I don’t know what got into me. I had to have you right then. I’m so sorry, man.” 

 

“I might be just a little tired, I guess.” Jim tried to make it sound simple. 

 

“Oh god, I hurt you didn’t I?” A tear slid down Blair’s cheek as Blair walked into the bathroom. 

 

Jim just lay on the bed wondering what was going on with Blair. Something had been up ever since he got home that night. He seemed very angry at Jim, but Jim hadn’t done anything. Unless you counted the meeting he had with Beth. Oh god, he saw me with Beth and thought something was going on.

 

Jim walked over to the bathroom door and heard Blair sniffling in there and said, “Blair, could I talk to you, please?”

 

Jim put his robe on and sat on the bed as comfortably as he could. 

 

Blair walked out of the bathroom with his head hanging down and sat next to Jim. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

 

“Chief, do you know what next week is?”

 

“Not really, no. IS there something at the school?” Blair looked confused. 

 

“No, Einstein, it’s your birthday and guess who met someone today to discuss a surprise birthday party?” Jim looked over and Blair and saw the younger man look back at him. 

 

“But Jim, you were hugging her.” Blair looked heartbroken. 

 

“Chief, she was hugging me and I felt like I had to hug back. If you saw us from the SUV, then you probably got the wrong idea. Am I right?” Jim leaned into Blair and kissed him softly. 

 

“I’m such an idiot. Conner told me it was probably nothing, but I had you leaving me by the end of the day. I was a grouch to everyone at work and they all wanted you in tomorrow to calm me down. I’m so sorry, Jim.”

 

“Yes, you are an idiot. I would never fool around on you, never. I love you more than life itself, remember?” Jim tilted Blair face up so they were looking into each other’s eyes. “Are we okay with this?”

 

“Jim, why didn’t you say something earlier?” Blair wondered aloud. 

 

“Because I might not be an idiot, but I’m not that bright and it took me awhile to figure out why you were so desperate to make love to me tonight.”

 

Blair went into Jim’s arms and started shaking. Jim knew he was crying but didn’t say a word for a few minutes. He finally said, “If you want to try it again, I would like to be fucked, but I want my regular lover to do it.”

 

“You’ll trust me after this?” Blair was still crying. 

 

“I trust you with my life every single day of the week. Now settle down and make love to me.”

 

They got in bed and Blair proceeded to make sweet love to Jim and Jim made plenty of noise because he figured Blair might need it. When they were done, Blair cleaned them both up and they curled into each other’s arms and fell asleep quickly. But not before both of them told the other how much they meant to them. 

 

At 4:30 Blair woke up knowing he had to get up in a half of an hour and woke Jim up. 

 

“Jim, babe. Can I ask you something?”

 

Jim woke up fairly quickly and said, “You can ask me anything.”

 

“Who is this Beth person and what do you have planned?”

 

Jim smiled at Blair and pulled him closer. “She’s married to Detective Wilson in Robbery and she specializes in Birthday parties. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to keep the ideas she had secret so it can be a little bit of a surprise. Is that all right with you?”

 

“That’s fine with me, big guy. I love you so much. I hate when we fight or misunderstand each other. I’m so sorry about last night.” Blair kissed Jim softly. 

 

“You know what I think would be nice?” Jim asked quietly. 

 

“What?” Blair asked. 

 

“I think you should stay home today and we can plan something for your birthday together instead of using an outsider. What do you think?” Jim began to kiss Blair’s neck softly and smelled early morning Blair and got instantly hard. 

 

“How about we just get together at Sullivan’s Pub and that’s all? And I can’t take off today because I’m working a case with Conner. But I could handle someone making love to me before I take my shower.”

 

“I could handle that too.” Jim began to make sweet love to his man and knew that they really had to talk more when things didn’t seem to be right. 

 

Blair was going to have a very nice birthday. 

 

The end.


	110. Funny Quotes

Sullivan's Pub Part 110

Funny Quotes

Patt 

 

It had been three weeks since the last Sullivan’s Pub and everyone was dying to start the survey. 

 

Simon: So, tell us Conner, what is tonight’s survey about? 

 

Conner was practically bouncing in place. “I found a bunch of funny quotes that I think will be new to most of us, so hopefully you’ll like them as much as I did. Joel was my test dummy.”

 

Everyone laughed and Joel said, “I didn’t mind, it made her so happy. She’s happiest when she’s doing these surveys.”

 

Jim stood up and said, “Since we just had a barbecue last weekend with all of the kids, should we bypass filling each other in on how everyone is?”

 

“Makes sense to me.” Simon agreed. 

 

“If anyone wants to talk about their kids, I hope they know they can.” Conner explained. 

 

Everyone started throwing popcorn at Conner and began to laugh. 

 

Conner: Okay, here we go. Everyone has to tell me if these quotes remind them of anyone in the group. Also tell us if you think it’s funny or not.”

 

Everyone: We’re set. 

 

Conner: Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? 

 

Jim: I don’t want to point any fingers, but this reminds me of Blair. He doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s a must. God forbid that he do something without being asked to do it.

 

Blair: Hey wait a minute. Did Conner say to pick on me? I don’t think so. I work just as hard as anyone else. So there. 

 

Simon: Way to tell him off, Sandburg. I think this one reminds me a little of Dan. He’s pretty laid back and it just made me think of him. 

 

Sully: I thought of Dan also. We don’t mean anything bad, Dan. You’re just so laid back it isn’t even funny. 

 

Joel: This one reminds me of Dan and Blair. I agree with Jim a little on this. 

 

Blair: Thanks a lot, Joel.

 

Jim: I want to change mine to Blair and Dan. 

 

Blair: I never said who it reminded me of. I’m thinking Dan also. 

 

Rafe: I think Sandburg and Dan also. Couldn’t find two more laid back people in the world. 

 

Brown: I was thinking of me. (Everyone bursts out laughing.)

 

Jim: I have to rethink this one. I do think it reminds me a little of Brown. 

 

Simon: He’s absolutely right. 

 

Sully: I don’t see it, honey. 

 

Simon: Me?

 

Sully: No, I was talking to Henri. 

 

Rafe: Well, now that he brought it up, he is as laid back as Dan and Blair. 

 

Dan: I think it reminds me of the three of us. We can be the Three Amigo’s. How does that sound, guys?

 

Blair: I like that. I would be one of your Amigo’s. 

 

Brown: Me too. 

 

Sam: You’re all so damn cute, and I think all three of you fit this one, too. 

 

Simon: Looks like we could move on to the next one, Conner. 

 

 

Conner: Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. 

 

Jim: This one is sort of stupid. I mean, if you’re camping wouldn’t you remember it? 

 

Blair: (Laughing) Jim, I think this one is a hoot. I could see you forgetting it once in a while. 

 

Simon: I think this one’s stupid. 

 

Sully: Tell us how you really feel, sweetheart. I think it’s rather silly myself. It reminds me of that joke that Blair and Jim told once. You remember the one about Tonto and the Lone Ranger.

 

Joel: I don’t remember, Blair tell us the joke. 

 

Blair: It was a story for the joke list I belong to. I changed names to fit. Here we go: 

One night The Lone Ranger, and Tontoburg were lying on the ground in their two man tent. (They didn't do three ways.) As they began to get sleepy, Jim asked Tontoburg, "Chief, do you know where we'll find the lost jewels of the late Mrs. Banks?"

"Kee Mo Sabey, I don't have any idea. Maybe you know where we should go," Tontoburg said. 

"Oh shut up with the Kee Mo Sabey bit, you're more educated than any ten white men. So stop doing that," Jim said sternly. 

"Fine, Jim. If it makes you feel better, no I have no idea where the jewels would be hidden," Tontoburg answered. 

Both men, being tired after a hard days ride fell asleep until the middle of the night, when for some reason, Jim was woken from his slumber. Looking around he got closer to Tontoburg and said, "Tontoburg wake up. Tell me what you see."

"I see stars, many, many stars in the very bright sky. Made brighter only by the most glorious moon. What do you see?" Tontoburg answered. 

"I see the sky too, Chief, someone stole our tent," Jim replied as he began to kiss his guide with longing and need like he hadn't felt in some time. 

"Ranger, why do you choose now to become romantic?" Tontoburg asked. 

"Tontoburg, I'm always romantic, but usually we have the tent blocking our view," Jim replied as he continued to kiss his friend into quiet. 

As things got closer and closer to the real thing, all that could be heard from Ranger was, "Hi Ho Silver, Away."

"Kee Mo Sabey, you are one kinky dude. Who else would name their dick after their horse? Come to think of it, it reminds me a little of Silver's. Hot damn, now I know why," Tontoburg said as Ranger fucked him senseless.

 

Sully: (Falling out of her chair, laughing) God, I love that joke. 

 

Joel: (Laughing very hard along with Conner.) I love it too, I had forgotten all about it. Leave it to Blair to remember it. 

 

Rafe: Well Tontoburg, that was funny material. I loved it. I might have missed it the first time it went through. 

 

Brown: I remember it, and it still cracks me up. 

 

Dan: There is a reason that Blair is the keeper of the jokes. He tells them so well. (Laughing his fool head off.)

 

Sam: Blair, I can’t believe you remembered the damn thing. I would have had to write it down. 

 

Blair: Well, you see, Jim makes me tell it to him at least once a week. He likes the joke about the horse. 

 

Jim: Oh shut up. I don’t either. 

 

Joel: Look, Jim is blushing. 

 

Simon: I think it’s time to move on to the next one. 

 

 

Conner: You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson 

 

Jim: Well, we all know that this one is just plain silly because you always have to try. 

 

Blair: Sometimes, I feel this way. 

 

Sully: (Laughing) I was going to say you, but didn’t want you to think I was picking on you. 

 

Simon: I think it sounds like Sandburg, too. And I don’t care if he thinks I’m picking on him. 

 

Jim: You don’t have to be so cruel. (Laughs)

 

Joel: I think it reminds me of Blair too. Just as a joke, though. It isn’t because he fails. 

 

Rafe: I don’t think this one sounds like any of us, honestly. 

 

Brown: And I think it sounds like Sandburg and myself, big time. 

 

Jim: Okay, it does remind me of Brown and Sandburg. 

 

Blair: Too late to change, you should have tried harder. (Laughs) You failed miserably. 

 

Dan: I think it sounds like the two of them too. 

 

Sam: I think this one is stupid. Sorry, Conner, but some of them are better than others. 

 

Simon: Okay, it’s time to move it along. 

 

 

Conner: Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. 

 

Jim: I don’t get this one. They’re insulting us, right? 

 

Blair: Right…

 

Jim: Well, I don’t think any of the women here think they are better than us, right, girls?

 

Sam: Well, sometimes we do. 

 

Conner: A lot of times we do. 

 

Sully: I like this one a lot. I think I want this on a shirt. 

 

Simon: You feel superior to us? 

 

Sully: You betcha. 

 

Joel: Do you feel like this, Meggie? 

 

Conner: Sometimes, yes. You take us for granted a lot. 

 

Dan: I happen to agree with this saying and I feel like Sam knows a lot more about life than I do. Now that doesn’t make us stupid, just not as good. (Laughs)

 

Simon: Let’s go to the next one and see if we have a better one. This one sucked, Conner.

 

Sully: Babe, you just don’t like when you’re not right all of the time. 

 

Simon: Move it along, Conner. 

 

 

Conner: Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

 

Everyone bursts out laughing, including Simon. 

 

Jim: I don’t know about anyone else, but this one reminds me of Blair. 

 

Blair: Hey, I’m no bunny, honey. 

 

Simon: This one is made for Blair Sandburg. You are the peppiest person we know. 

 

Sully: I have to agree with my husband on this one. 

 

Joel: I think it’s true, too. 

 

Rafe: Now if you got arrested, would this make it hard to still be a cop? (Laughs)

 

Brown: I love this saying and it fits Hairboy to a tee. 

 

Dan: I couldn’t agree more. 

 

Sam: This one was written for Blair, that’s for sure. Sometimes we feel sorry for Jim being married to the bunny. He must wear you out sometimes. 

 

Jim: He does, but boy do we have fun doing it. 

 

Simon: Oh god, here we go with the sex jokes. Knock it off, Ellison. Time to move this one along before it gets uglier. 

 

 

Conner: Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. 

 

Blair: Ding, ding, ding. This one has Jim and Simon written all over it. 

 

Jim: It does not. I don’t even drink that much. 

 

Simon: We don’t drink that little either. (Laughs)

 

Sully: Yup, this one is Jim and Simon. 

 

Jim: Simon, they think we’re drunks. 

 

Joel: No, we just know what you truly believe in. I think it’s the two of them also. 

 

Rafe: I think this one is a little me, too. I believe in beer, big time. As long as we’re not driving. 

 

Brown: Brian is right, this does sound like him too. It’s the three of them. They could be the Three Amigo’s. 

 

Dan: Wait a minute, no one believes in beer more than Sam. 

 

Sam: He’s right. We could be the Four Musketeers. 

 

Jim: I like that, Sam. That’s our new name. 

 

Simon: Speak for yourself, I want to move on to the next one and I don’t want it to be about me. 

 

 

Conner: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. 

 

Jim: That would be scary. 

 

Blair: I think it would be like living on the edge, so that’s exciting. 

 

Jim: You’re so full of shit. 

 

Blair: You sweet talker, you. 

 

Simon: This one is stupid. 

 

Sully: But would you like living on the edge and go to this doctor? 

 

Simon: No, I would not. 

 

Sully: You’re such a wuss sometimes. 

 

Simon: I just know you didn’t call me a wuss. 

 

Joel: Well, I think this one makes sense. If he can’t keep the plants alive, what good would he be to me? 

 

Simon: How come no one is calling Joel a wuss? 

 

Sully: Because he answered it correctly. 

 

Rafe: The receptionists take care of the office plants, so the doctor has nothing to do with keeping them alive. So I would be okay with going to him. 

 

Brown: But babe, you would be in the hands of plant killers before you got to see the doctor. 

 

Conner is falling out of her chair laughing her ass off. 

 

Dan: I can’t believe how much thought Brian put into this one. I would just say no. 

 

Sam: You all crack me up. I would just tell them to get some silk flowers for the office and not worry about the other things. 

 

Jim: Leave it to Sam to think of silk plants instead of real ones. 

 

Simon: I think we might be done with this one, Conner. Let’s move it along. 

 

 

Conner: Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.

 

Jim: I don’t like this one at all. I don’t ever want to get rid of Blair. 

 

Blair: Man, you are like going to get so lucky tonight, it isn’t even funny. But this saying is fun for single people, just not all of us married folk. 

 

Simon: Since when do you want a man to be soft? Wouldn’t you want him to be hard? 

 

Sully: Oh Simon, you’re talking about sex. (Almost falls out of her chair laughing)

 

Simon: That’s not what I meant. I meant, his chest and stuff. Get your mind out of the gutter, Miss Sully. 

 

Joel: (Laughing) I think this one wouldn’t work for any of us, but what Simon said was funnier than hell. 

 

Rafe: I’m still in shock that Simon made a funny sex joke about one of the questions. It was a good one too, Simon. 

 

Simon: I wasn’t making a joke. You all have your mind in the gutter. 

 

Brown: Correct me if I’m wrong, but you said, you meant his chest and stuff being hard. Well, that to me sounds just like his STUFF. Sex joke, Simon. No way around it. 

 

Simon: Do I need to remind you of who your boss is? (Laughing)

 

Dan: Well I, for one, like to see Simon laughing, so this has been a good one for you. Thanks for the laugh, boss. 

 

Sam: He’s not your boss, honey. 

 

Dan: I can pretend. I like him much better. (Laughing)

 

Simon: Oh my god, I think we’re ready to move to the next one. Will wonders never cease? 

 

 

Conner: Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. 

 

Jim: I’m in heaven every time I walk in the door to be with my family. 

 

Blair: Oh Jim, you are such a suck-up. But I love you anyhow. 

 

Simon: Jim, that was a little over the top. 

 

Sully: I thought it was very nice. Stop picking on him. 

 

Joel: I feel that way too, Jim. 

 

Rafe: I think we probably all feel that way; we just don’t want to admit to it. 

 

Brown: Why wouldn’t you want to admit to it? 

 

Rafe: It would make us wusses. 

 

Blair: Jim’s not a wuss. 

 

Simon: You say he’s a wuss all the time. 

 

Jim: Stop talking about me like I’m not here. I don’t think I’m a wuss just because they make me feel better than anyone ever could. It’s pure heaven. 

 

Dan: I agree with Jim. There is nothing wrong with loving your family and wanting to be with them all you can. I know I do. 

 

Sam: You are one of the sweetest men I know. 

 

Rafe: He’s a wuss too. 

 

Brown: You keep calling them wusses and you’ll be sleeping with Remington. 

 

Rafe: Sorry, guys. Henri, I’ll be good now. 

 

Simon: Could we get anymore off course here? Let’s move this along. 

 

 

Conner: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. 

 

 

Blair: Okay, this one screams Simon. He says this all the time. 

 

Jim: You do, Simon. 

 

Simon: They are stupid and this one is no better. 

 

Sully: I think it’s a riot that it’s so much like you. See, Megan made up one just for you. 

 

Simon: Keep it up and you’ll be sleeping in the guest room. 

 

Sully: Oh suck it up, big boy. 

 

Everyone starts to laugh including Simon. 

 

Joel: This one definitely calls out Simon’s name. 

 

Rafe: Well, I think this one’s sort of stupid, so what does that make me? 

 

Brown: It makes you just like Simon. 

 

Rafe: (laughing) Maybe it’s not that stupid then. 

 

Dan: I never think any of them are stupid, just sometimes some of them aren’t as thought provoking. 

 

Sam: Oh, honey you are so diplomatic. (laughs) 

 

Simon: Are we finally done? Could we move on? 

 

 

Conner: I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better report!! 

 

Blair: Ding, ding, ding. Another one for Simon. (Everyone laughs, including Simon)

 

Jim: This is like you, Simon. And sometimes you’re right. 

 

Simon: Sometimes? I didn’t make Captain for sometimes being right. You all hand in reports that make me wish I didn’t work there sometimes. 

 

Sully: Oh surely they can’t be that bad.

 

Simon: I’ve asked you to please not call me Shirley and yes, the reports are sometimes that bad. 

 

Rafe: Hey, we fix whatever you tell us to do. 

 

Brown: Yeah, what he said. 

 

Simon: Do them right the first time and I wouldn’t have to have a shirt made with this saying on it. Conner, I do like this one. 

 

Conner: I’m glad it’s making you smile. I think you’ve needed to laugh a little bit more lately. 

 

Sully: He has been surly, hasn’t he? 

 

Rafe: Yes. 

 

Brown: Is anything the matter, Simon? 

 

Simon: I’m just tired. 

 

Joel: Tired of the work or tired of us? 

 

Simon: Tired of the work. You guys make me nuts sometimes, but I never get tired of you and the first one that says I’m a wuss is going to be working on Saturday. (laughs)

 

Dan: I don’t think you’re a wuss at all. Being in charge of these loons must get tiring sometimes. (Sam and Dan laugh but no one else)

 

Sam: Sorry about that last remark. We’re loons too, if that helps at all. 

 

Simon: Do we have to stay here all night? Are we almost done? 

 

Conner: Not quite, Simon. Keep your pants on. 

 

Simon: I just know you didn’t just say that to your boss. 

 

Jim: You’re our friend here, not our boss. 

 

Simon: Okay, then. Can we move it along? 

 

 

Conner: How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits He’s lost? 

 

Jim: I always ask for directions when I’m lost. The one that doesn’t do it is Blair. 

 

Blair: (Throws popcorn at Jim’s head) I know, I know, I know. Someday I’ll be as good as you, Ellison. 

 

Simon: I never need to ask because I have a GPS in my SUV. 

 

Sully: You are so full of shit. 

 

Simon: I don’t have to ask directions. 

 

Sully: That’s because you mapquest everything before we leave. No one could get lost that way. 

 

Laughter breaks out. 

 

Joel: I ask for directions too. So I’m just like Jim. 

 

Rafe: Real men don’t need directions. 

 

Blair: That’s what I always say, but Jim disagrees. 

 

Brown: I always ask for directions and when Brian gets really lost, he makes me go in and ask for the directions so he can say he didn’t ask. 

 

Everyone starts laughing and Rafe blushes. 

 

Dan: I always ask for directions. 

 

Sam: I never do, I make Dan do it. (Smiles at her husband and then kisses him)

 

Simon: Oh look, we’re through with another one. Let’s move on down the road before someone has to ask for directions. 

 

 

Conner: "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together." 

 

Jim: This is the truth, if I run out of duct tape it would be a cold day in hell. 

 

Blair: You’re all laughing, but he’s very serious. He uses it for everything. Hell one time he used it for Rayne’s owwie until she could help him find the bandaids. 

 

Simon: Okay, I see nothing wrong with that, Sandburg. It sounds like Jim knows all of the proper uses for duct tape. 

 

Sully: Oh god, lets not get into this or I’ll tell them what you used it for the other night. 

 

Simon: (Blushing) Isn’t it your turn, Rafe? 

 

Rafe: We use it for everything too and we have the kids using it for everything. So they have been taught. 

 

Brown: You think he’s kidding, but he shows them all the time what tape can be used for. They’re always amazed and happy to learn about these things. 

 

Joel: We use it at our house too, and no we don’t use it for sex. I see that look on your face, Sully. We use it for home repairs. 

 

Sully: I’m innocent, I tell ya. 

 

Dan: I believe you, Sully. And we use duct tape for anything and everything at our house too. It needs a better name. 

 

Sam: Dan calls it his handy dandy tape. I think that works well. 

 

Jim: I like that. I’m going to call it that from now on. 

 

Simon: Oh my god, we finished another one. Let’s move this baby along. 

 

 

Conner: Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. 

 

Jim: This is me. 

 

Blair: It sort of is. Jim’s a hell of a detective, but has a terrible memory. He has to write everything down. Maybe you’re getting old. 

 

Jim: Thanks. That helped a lot. 

 

Blair: I was kidding. 

 

Jim is not smiling. 

 

Simon: Ellison, he was only kidding, cut the kid some slack. 

 

Jim: He’s not a kid, why do you keep calling him that? 

 

Simon: Because he’s a hell of a lot younger than you and me. 

 

Sully: Blair, honey, I think you should apologize to Jim for saying that about him being old. Then again, with his memory, he’ll forget in ten minutes anyway. 

 

Everyone laughs but Jim. 

 

Joel: Jim, I think that this is about me too. I have to write everything down also and it bothers me sometimes. But don’t let it ruin the evening. Loosen up. 

 

Jim: I’ll try. 

 

Rafe: So tell us Jim, is aging bothering you more these days? 

 

Jim: It’s no one’s business but mine. 

 

Blair: And mine. 

 

Jim: Shut up. 

 

Brown: Don’t you tell him to shut up, Ellison. What is your problem? 

 

Blair: You better watch it, or I’ll open my big mouth about lots of things. 

 

Dan: Okay, this is getting out of hand, let’s go back to just teasing each other and having a good time. Jim, calm down. Blair, don’t threaten him. 

 

Sully: Honey, is there something we can help you with? 

 

Jim: I don’t have any problems. 

 

Blair: Must be nice, because I still have one. 

 

Jim: Shut up, Blair. 

 

Conner: Stop telling Sandy to shut up. Tell us what’s wrong and we’ll try and help you fix it. 

 

Jim: Could we just move this along? 

 

Simon: Hey, that’s my job. 

 

 

Conner: If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

 

Jim: I don’t know about anyone else, but I thought of Blair. 

 

Blair: Hell, I thought of me. And I’m going to always push the up button for sure. Sorry about snapping at you, Jim. 

 

Jim: I’m sorry too. 

 

Simon: You two are just too cute for words. I thought of Blair too. 

 

Sully: Blair, I don’t want to think about you in another crazy elevator. So I’m ignoring this one all together. 

 

Blair: Thank you, Sully. (smiles)

 

Joel: I’m glad to see Jim smiling again. Blair, I don’t want you in anymore elevators either. 

 

Rafe: I thought of Sandburg too. 

 

Brown: That would scare the hell out of us to have you stuck in one again. 

 

Dan: I thought of myself and Blair. I got stuck in an elevator once and was there for two hours. It was a nightmare. 

 

Sam: When did this happen? 

 

Dan: Years ago, but it sticks with you, doesn’t it, Blair? 

 

Blair: It sure does. 

 

Simon: Oh look at the time. Almost time to go? 

 

 

Conner: I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. 

 

Everyone started laughing until they had tears coming out of their eyes. 

 

Simon: I think we can safely move on from this one. Thanks for the good laugh, Conner. 

 

Conner: You are very welcome. 

 

 

Conner: There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. 

 

Jim: Chief, am I fishing or an idiot? 

 

Blair: If you have to ask…

 

Jim: I was afraid of that. (Laughs)

 

Simon: I’m a fisher. 

 

Sully: I’m an idiot. 

 

Simon: You are not. You’ve caught fish. 

 

Sully: But not as many as you have. Now you are a great fisherman. 

 

Simon beams with pride. 

 

Joel: I’m an idiot. What are you Blair? 

 

Blair: I’m a fisherman. 

 

Rafe: I’m an idiot, but I look good while I’m standing there. 

 

Brown: I’m a fisherman. 

 

Dan: I’m an idiot, but I still love to go along with you fishermen. 

 

Sam: I’m an idiot too. If everyone had to rely on me or Dan for dinner, we would all lose weight. (Laughs)

 

Simon: Now, is it time? 

 

Conner: Not quite. 

 

 

Conner: Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

 

Jim: This reminds me a little of Simon. 

 

Blair: I agree. 

 

Simon: I only complain when I have to. 

 

Sully: Oh dear god, you complain that often? (Laughs)

 

Joel: It reminds me a little of Blair. 

 

Blair: Me? I complain? 

 

Jim: Sometimes. 

 

Rafe: We all fucking complain, so this is about all of us. 

 

Brown: I agree, this is for all of us. 

 

Dan: I don’t complain very often. 

 

Sam: He doesn’t, but I do. 

 

Simon: My word, it’s time to go home, right? 

 

Conner: Not yet. Aren’t you having fun? 

 

Simon: I want a different kind of fun when I get home. (Arches his eyebrows at Sully)

 

 

Conner: Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

 

Jim: I love this one. This could be me. 

 

Blair: This could be all of us. 

 

Simon: See, this one’s easy; we could leave right now and still get home in time to have some fun. 

 

Sully: I love a horny husband. 

 

Blair: I…

 

Jim: Don’t say a word, Chief. 

 

Simon: Oh that’s what the argument was about. Jim, we all have troubles getting it up now and then. You just have to keep trying. 

 

Jim: For gods sake, is nothing sacred in this group? 

 

Conner: No, Jimbo. Now go home and work on it some more, but this time try and leave work at work. 

 

Everyone starts to leave and everyone notices that Jim is very embarrassed. 

 

Joel: Jim, I’ve done in on several occasions when I’m worried about something at work. 

 

Simon: As have I. 

 

Dan: I’ve been too tired and couldn’t do it a few times. 

 

Rafe: I’ve never had it happen to me. 

 

Brown: Yes you did. Once when you had too much to drink. 

 

Rafe: Well, that’s different. 

 

Jim: Thank you all for your support, but I really don’t want to discuss this any longer. Thanks for the great survey, Conner. It was fun as usual. 

 

Conner: You are welcome, Jim. Take it easy or hard, which ever comes first. 

 

Everyone laughs as they all start to leave. 

 

Once inside the truck, Blair expected to hear Jim yell at him but instead he took Blair’s hand and put it over his hard cock. 

 

“Oh man, is that for me?”

 

“Well of course it’s for you, you doofus.” Jim answered mussing up Blair’s hair. 

 

“Then drive fast, I want it now.”

 

And Jim did just that.


	111. Decoding Women and Men’s English

Sullivan’s Pub Part 111

Decoding Women and Men’s English

By Patt

 

 

Everyone was meeting at Sullivan’s for another survey, but there was going to be one difference that evening. Joel had read the survey and insisted that Megan take part in it, because he thought she could bring some good humor to the survey. 

 

“Hey everyone, Megan is going to take part in the survey tonight and I’m going to give the questions. So tell me if you think they’re like anyone you know or if they are at all true. Here we go. 

 

Joel: The first section is a DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS. Let’s start with the first one. 

 

40-ish...............................49.

 

 

Jim: Well that’s true in a way. 40ish is 49. 

 

Blair: Why not just say you’re 49?

 

Sully: Because not all women feel comfortable with their age. 

 

Simon: Not all men feel comfortable with sharing their age with anyone, let alone in a personal ad. 

 

Conner: I agree with Jim. This is true, not a lie at all. I would put this, if I was 49. 

 

Rafe: So you would lie from the get-go?

 

Brown: It’s not really a lie. 40-ish could be 49. 

 

Sam: I agree. Why should you have to put your age anyway? 

 

Dan: I think some men like younger women when they’re looking through the personals. I don’t know this from experience, but I do know it’s true. 

 

Conner: That’s such a crock of shit. 

 

Jim: I agree, Conner. I think we should be able to say we’re any age we want to. Put the age that you feel. How about that? 

 

Simon: I can see it now, if any of you women were putting an ad in, it would be chuck full of lies. 

 

Jim: Not just the women, Simon. I wouldn’t put my age and I sure as hell wouldn’t say I was receding, instead I would find something else to focus on. 

 

Blair: Like big mus-cles. How about that big boy? 

 

Rafe: Oh no, now you did it. You got Hairboy off to the sex talk again. 

 

Brown: Well, it was bound to happen. (Laughing) 

 

Joel: So would any of you lie on a personal ad?

 

Everyone, but Simon: Yes. 

 

Laughter broke out and they knew they were off to a good start. 

 

Simon: I think we can move on, Joel.

 

 

Joel: Adventurous.........................Slept with everyone.

 

Jim: This isn’t true. If we put adventurous, would we have slept with everyone and anyone? 

 

Blair: I think you would. This is wide open to some weird interpretation. I believe it calls out slut. 

 

Conner: You are so full of shit, Sandy. I’m adventurous and I haven’t slept with everyone. 

 

Simon: But do you want to? (Laughing)

 

Conner: No, I don’t. 

 

Sully: I believe this to mean that the person is fun. 

 

Blair: Fun in bed, Sully. 

 

Conner: No, not fun in bed, just fun. I agree with Sully. 

 

Rafe: I think it sounds like a nice word for slut. So I agree with Blair. 

 

Brown: I agree with Sully and Conner. I just think they are fun people and that’s another word for it. 

 

Sam: I would use this word for me. 

 

Dan: But Sam, you’re a little bit of a slut. 

 

Sam: Oh yeah. Okay, maybe it does mean slut. 

 

Conner: If this said it on a guys ad would you think slut? 

 

Blair: No, I would think there was something else wrong with him, if he had to tell me that. 

 

Jim: I think that if a man used it, it would mean exactly what it said, but if a woman used it, we would automatically think she’s easy. 

 

Conner: I think that’s a shame. 

 

Simon: This is only a survey, Conner. Stop being so serious. Is that the next one, I hear? 

 

 

Joel: Athletic.............................No breasts.

 

Jim: I believe this one to be true. 

 

Blair: Jim, I can’t believe you said that. I don’t even believe this one. 

 

Simon: I think it sounds right too, so I agree with Jim. 

 

Sully: So, if I jog and keep in shape, I have no breasts?

 

Simon: We’re not talking about you, Sully. 

 

Conner: How about me? Is this what you think about me, Jim? Because I’m athletic. 

 

Jim: Hey, I was just agreeing with the survey for a change. 

 

Conner: I’m serious, do you think that just because I’m athletic, I have no breasts? 

 

Jim: Well, anyone in their right mind can see that you have breasts, two of them to be exact. And they look fine. So this isn’t true. I take it all back. 

 

Rafe: You are such a fucking wuss, Ellison. 

 

Brown: You do back down really easily. Stand your ground, if you want to say Conner is flat say she’s flat. 

 

Rafe: (Laughing) That’s not exactly what I meant, but whatever works. 

 

Sam: I’m athletic and I have breasts. 

 

Dan: She does. I can vouch for them. (Dan leans into her and kisses her.)

 

Conner: So Jim, tell the truth now, do you think I’m flat because I work out too much? 

 

Jim: Conner, I don’t want Joel pounding the snot out of me after this meeting. 

 

Conner: So that means, yes? Joel tell them I have breasts. 

 

Joel: She does, and they’re very perky. Take my word for it. 

 

Blair: I’ve seen you without a shirt on, Conner. I know you have them. 

 

Conner: But Jim thinks this saying is true.

 

Jim: I took it back, remember?

 

Rafe: Yes, that’s when he turned into the instant wuss in front of us. 

 

Simon: I think we could move on to the next one before Jim kills Rafe. 

 

 

Joel: Average looking.....................Moooo.

 

Jim: All right, now if you put this, it doesn’t sound good. You should put attractive, even if you don’t think you are, because men are going to think you’re a dog if you put that. 

 

Blair: Jim, I can’t believe you’re saying this shit. (Shakes his head)

 

Jim: Hey, if it was a guy and he put average looking, you would think…dog.

 

Sully: I think Jim is right on this one. 

 

Simon: Now if I said that, you would have been all over me.

 

Sully: Honey, I love being all over you, you don’t have to say anything to get me to do that. 

 

Rafe: Oh man, now Sully is talking sweet talk to her man. (Making gagging noises)

 

Conner: I think I agree with Jim on this one. Average leaves too much to the imagination. 

 

Brown: I agree with you too. 

 

Dan: I think that you could think of many different words to describe yourself, other than average. 

 

Sam: Dan, honey, you’re never going to be described as average looking. (She leans in and kisses him and everyone says, “Awww”.

 

Simon: I do believe that we’re set to move on to the next one. What do you say, Joel? 

 

 

Joel: Beautiful............................Pathological liar.

 

Jim: Maybe she just feels good about her looks and is fine with saying that. 

 

Blair: Jim, now you sound like an idiot. 

 

Jim: Chief, don’t call me an idiot just because you don’t like my answer. 

 

Blair: Would you put beautiful on your ad? 

 

Jim: No, but I would on yours.

 

Blair: Okay, you’re not an idiot, you’re the sweetest man alive. (Leans in for a very nice kiss)

 

Simon: Let’s get this back on track. I believe this person is probably lying. 

 

Sully: Why? If I was filling one out, I would put attractive, would that make me a dog? 

 

Simon: You couldn’t be a dog on your worst day, babe.

 

Sully: Thank you. (Gives him a quick kiss)

 

Conner: I think that if a woman feel good about herself, she should be able to put what she wants on the ad. I myself would put attractive on mine and I would beg someone to say that would make me a dog. 

 

Rafe: No, attractive sounds nice, Conner, I think the problem is saying you’re beautiful. How many people feel that secure in their looks? 

 

Conner: That’s true, Rafe. I never thought about it that way. Maybe saying beautiful sets you up for a major fall. 

 

Brown: Or maybe she means, inside. Not all beauty is outside, you know? 

 

Conner: Oh Henri, you are so damn sweet. (Leans in and kisses his cheek)

 

Dan: I think that I agree with Brown on this one. 

 

Sam: I think I agree with him too. What a nice thought. 

 

Simon: So you think that if someone puts this on their ad, they mean inside, not outside?

 

Conner: They could mean that.

 

Simon: Well, that’s deceiving and I think they should think before they put it on their ad. 

 

Conner: So you wouldn’t get to know someone first, before making a judgement call? 

 

Simon: If they say beautiful, I expect them to look gorgeous. If they’re beautiful on the inside, they should state that. In which case I would know, they’re probably a dog. (Laughing at the looks the women are giving him)

 

Conner: I think we should move this along before I smack my boss. 

 

Simon: That’s my job, Conner. Joel, we’ll take the next one now. 

 

 

Joel: Emotionally Secure.................On medication.

 

Jim: If someone is like a bipolar or something, this would be very true, so I think this one, could be right. But who cares? 

 

Blair: You’re right, if they’re on meds and they feel great, why should we argue? 

 

Simon: I think she would sound like a fruitcake. 

 

Sully: I think you’re pissing me off. 

 

Simon: Me? 

 

Sully: Yes, you. A person can be emotionally secure with or without meds and be truthful about it. 

 

Conner: I couldn’t agree with you more, Sully. This is so true with women sometimes. If they’re going through menopause or something, they don’t want to put that they’re insane, so they take hormones and they are secure. (Laughs)

 

Rafe: I think Conner is right on the money. A woman knows how much she can get away with before a man will dump her. 

 

Brown: I think a lot of women I know are emotionally secure, look at the ones here tonight. None of them are on medication. 

 

Conner: Thank you, Henri. You keep this up and I’m going to take you home with us. 

 

Dan: I think I agree with Brown. 

 

Sam: You had better. (smiles)

 

Simon: I think we could move on to the next one. 

 

 

Joel: Feminist......................Fat.

 

Jim: (Laughs) I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. It slipped out. I don’t believe this one to be true because the women here tonight all believe in strong causes and they aren’t fat. 

 

Blair: So, like it would matter if they were fat? What happens if five years from now, I’ve put on 30 pounds and don’t look like I do now? You going to dump me? 

 

Jim: Nah, I would be too worried about who would want a balding old man. 

 

Simon: Tell me what the fuck this has to do with anything. 

 

Sully: I believe that you can be a feminist, without being called names. 

 

Simon: Is that what they meant? 

 

Sully: I think so, honey. 

 

Conner: I have to admit, this one throws me a little. I think that I would never think fat when I see the word feminist. 

 

Rafe: I might. 

 

Brown: Are you laughing? I don’t think it’s that funny, Brian. 

 

Rafe: What are you so pissed off about? 

 

Brown: I’m fat…

 

Rafe: You are not fat. 

 

Dan: Well, I’m over weight and I don’t like where this one is going. 

 

Sam: Oh honey, no one would ever call you a fat feminist. 

 

Simon: Let's move this along before a fight breaks out. 

 

 

Joel: Free Spirit..................Junkie.

 

Jim: I think that means they’re like Blair. Live and let live, is his motto. He’s the original free spirit. 

 

Blair: Thanks, man. 

 

Simon: Oh geeze, make me gag, why don’t you? Jim, sometimes you sound like such a woman. 

 

Sully: SIMON!!!! I can’t believe you just said that to him. Jim, I’m so sorry for my husband’s rude behavior. 

 

Blair: Jim and I take turns being the woman, so it’s no biggy. 

 

Conner: I think free spirit means someone like Sandy, also. I would love to be able to put that on an ad for me. 

 

Joel: You could, Meggy. You’re a free spirit too. 

 

Conner: Thank you, honey. 

 

Rafe: this reminds me of Henri, big time. 

 

Brown: Really? I like that you think of me as a free spirit. 

 

Dan: This would describe Sam. She could put this on her ad and it would mean exactly what it says. 

 

Sam: Thank you, Danny. I’ll be free for you later tonight. 

 

Simon: Oh for Christ’s sake, there they go with the sex talk, seems like a good time to move on. 

 

 

Joel: Friendship first......Former Slut.

 

Jim: I don’t get this one. 

 

Blair: I think maybe it means, she’s slept with everyone already, so wants to try friendship out for size this time. 

 

Simon: Good explanation, Sandburg. 

 

Sully: I think this one might be somewhat true. 

 

Conner: I think so too, even though I hate to agree with Simon. 

 

Simon: Hey, that was uncalled for. 

 

Rafe: I agree with Sandburg. 

 

Brown: I think I agree too and I think it would be a smart move on her part. 

 

Sam: I think that I once felt this way. Thank god, I got over it and met Dan. (Laughs)

 

Dan: Yeah, I thank god too. I think this one is right on the money, Blair. 

 

Simon: Looky here, we’re ready for the next one already. Woo Hoo. 

 

 

Joel: Old-fashioned.......................No B.J.'s

 

Jim: This might be true because there are a lot of women and men that won’t give them. 

 

Blair: Thank god, I have you then. (Kisses his man)

 

Simon: I think this one might be true, also. 

 

Sully: I think so too. 

 

Conner: I know a few women who won’t give them and they call themselves old-fashioned. So I believe this. 

 

Rafe: I’m sure glad I never met up with any of them. 

 

Brown: You better not be looking either. 

 

Rafe: I’m not looking, man. You’re all I can handle, believe me. 

 

Sam: I think there are a lot of women who don’t feel comfortable doing this and they might be old-fashioned, but they have a right to be whatever they want to be. 

 

Dan: That’s my wife, the one sticking up for the old-fashioned women who don’t want to give blow jobs. 

 

Simon: These are moving right along. Next? 

 

 

Joel: Open-minded.....................Desperate.

 

Jim: This might be a little true, sad as that might be to think about. 

 

Blair: I agree with Jim on this one. 

 

Simon: Why is it sad? 

 

Sully: Because someone has to become totally open-minded, even though she might not be so that someone will like her. 

 

Conner: I find this one a little sad too, Jim. 

 

Rafe: I think you’re all taking this too seriously. 

 

Brown: I think it’s sad too. 

 

Sam: I’ve been like this. 

 

Dan: I have no idea why, but you’ll never have to worry about that again. (Kisses his wife)

 

Simon: Oh look, another bit the dust. 

 

 

Joel: Outgoing...................Loud and embarrassing.

 

Jim: This isn’t true because Blair is outgoing and he’s not loud and embarrassing. 

 

Blair: Thank you, babe. 

 

Simon: Do you even know who you’re married to? He is loud and embarrassing. Think of all of the times he’s embarrassed you. 

 

Sully: I prefer to think of him as outgoing, not loud or embarrassing. 

 

Simon: But he is those things, so what this survey says is true. 

 

Jim: He isn’t loud and embarrassing. You’re loud and embarrassing sometimes, but I don’t associate that with being outgoing, I associate that with being an asshole. 

 

Simon: Why is everyone allowed to speak their mind but me? And I think you’re an ass too. (Glaring at Jim)

 

Joel: Okay, we’ve spent enough time arguing. Let’s just call it a draw. 

 

Conner: Yeah, let's just call it a draw and say they’re both assholes. (Laughs)

 

Blair: Jim isn’t an asshole. 

 

Simon: Do you even know your life-mate? 

 

Conner: I was kidding. Now let’s get back to the question, would a person be loud and embarrassing if she put down outgoing? I don’t think so. I think the two have little to do with each other. 

 

Rafe: I think they have a lot to do with each other and Simon is right, Sandburg is loud and embarrassing sometimes. 

 

Brown: He is not…

 

Jim: Rafe, would you like to say that to me after the survey?

 

Blair: Hold on… This is getting out of control. I am loud and embarrassing at times, but I also think that I’m just outgoing. There is nothing wrong with that. And Jim, don’t you threaten Rafe again. 

 

Jim: Fine…

 

Dan: I don’t think he’s loud and embarrassing at all. I think that Sam is outgoing too. 

 

Sam: Oh goody, Blair, we’re both big mouths. (Laughs)

 

Simon: I guess it’s time to move this along. 

 

 

Joel: Professional.........................Bitch.

 

Jim: To a certain extent this is true. Look at the girls here. I wouldn’t want to mess with them on any day. They are all professional and can be bitchy as hell. This is a good thing, I think. 

 

Blair: I agree with Jim on this one. This is true. 

 

Simon: So you’re saying Sully is a bitch?

 

Jim: I said she can be bitchy when she needs to be. It’s why she’s called a professional. 

 

Sully: Thank you, Jim. And thank you, Simon, for thinking you had to stand up for me, but I agree with this one. You have to be a bitch to get anywhere in this world. 

 

Conner: I think Jim boiled it down perfectly. I don’t mind being a bitch either. 

 

Rafe: Well, that’s good because you are at work. 

 

Brown: What the hell is wrong with you tonight? Tell her you’re sorry for saying that. Megan, I don’t feel that way at all. 

 

Rafe: I don’t have to say I’m sorry at a survey. We get to say what’s on our minds. 

 

Dan: There does seem to be something bothering you tonight, Brian, is there anything we can do to help? 

 

Rafe: There is nothing wrong, I just like to speak my mind. 

 

Brown: You’re being an ass, is what you’re being. 

 

Sam: Well, if you need help with anything at all, Brian, you know where Dan and I are. 

 

Rafe: Why didn’t anyone bother Simon earlier when he was being an ass? 

 

Blair: Because that’s normal for him. You’re not usually like this. 

 

Rafe: Stay out of my business. 

 

Brown: Come here… 

 

 

Henri led Brian over to the far end of the room and softly asked, “What is up with you tonight?”

 

“Nothing, I’m just not in a good mood.” Rafe answered. 

 

“Did I do something to upset you?” Brown was worried about them now. 

 

“I had a bad day at work and this survey sucks. I’m sorry, I’ll try and keep myself under control from now on.” Rafe led Brown back to the table and they both sat down. 

 

Simon: I think it’s safe to say we could move on to the next one. 

 

 

Joel: Voluptuous..........................Very fat.

 

Jim: (Laughing) I don’t mean to laugh, but this one is true. 

 

Blair: Jim, I can’t believe you said that. I think this word describes a lot of people we know. 

 

Jim: You think that word describes any of the women here tonight? I don’t think so. 

 

Sully: Why couldn’t I be voluptuous? 

 

Simon: Because you’re not big enough. Jim is right on this one. 

 

Conner: I think I agree with Jim too. There is nothing wrong with being big, I just agree on this one. 

 

Rafe: I agree with Jim too and it made me smile to think about it. 

 

Brown: Same here. We aren’t laughing at people with weight problems, because god knows, I have one, we’re just saying…

 

Dan: I agree with all of you. This statement could very well be true. 

 

Sam: So when I gain weight as I get older, then you’ll call me voluptuous?

 

Dan: Yes… (Laughing)

 

Simon: Oh look, we’re finished with this one. Are we done yet? 

 

 

Joel: Large frame...........................Hugely fat.

 

Jim: Why would someone say they have a large frame? That’s just asking for some guy to laugh at them. 

 

Blair: Maybe they’re just big boned? 

 

Simon: (Laughing) Yeah, and maybe Jim could dress in drag and say he has a large frame. 

 

Sully: Jim’s not fat. 

 

Simon: But he has a large frame. 

 

Conner: So you could possibly have a large frame and not be hugely fat, right? 

 

Blair: Yes, that’s true. I know a lot of women that have large frames and they aren’t fat at all. 

 

Jim: What women? You doing some hunting around that I don’t know about? 

 

Blair: Get a grip, Jim. 

 

Jim: Well where are these women that you’re talking about? 

 

Blair: At the University, remember I had a life before you… (Pissed off)

 

Rafe: Fight… Fight…

 

Brown: My sister’s all have large frames and they wouldn’t be considered fat. 

 

Blair: There you go. His sister’s are all large framed. So there. 

 

Jim: That was so mature, Chief. 

 

Dan: I have two sister’s that are the same size as me, except they have less weight. So they have large frames. I think it means, they’re tall and big boned. 

 

Sam: I think Dan is right. 

 

Jim: Whatever, does it really matter? 

 

Blair: Oh watch out, Jim didn’t get his way and he’s about to throw a tantrum. 

 

Simon: Jim, this is what I mean about having a big mouth and being obnoxious. He is sometimes. 

 

Jim: I can say that about him, but you can’t. 

 

Blair: Thanks, I think. 

 

Simon: I think it’s safe to say we stayed on this one long enough. Move this baby along. 

 

 

Joel: Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

 

Jim: This isn’t true. I wanted that with Blair and I’m not a stalker. 

 

Blair: We are both stalker’s. 

 

Jim: What do you mean by that? 

 

Blair: You watch everything I do or say. That’s almost a stalker. 

 

Jim: I only do that because I love you. 

 

Everyone: Awwwwwww. 

 

Simon: Then we’re all stalkers, so this must be true. 

 

Sully: I think it is a little true. 

 

Conner: I know that Joel and I keep an eye on each other all the time, I never thought of it as being a stalker, but maybe we are. 

 

Joel: No, we’re just in love. 

 

Everyone: Awwwwww. 

 

Rafe: I would stalk Henri. 

 

Brown: You would? 

 

Rafe: Hell yes, if you gave me a reason to think that I had to stalk you, I would. 

 

Brown: I like that. 

 

Sam: How sick are we that our mates think about stalking us and we think it’s all right. 

 

Dan: I’ve been doing it for years. (Laughs)

 

Simon: Look, we’re finished. How about the next one. 

 

 

Joel: This is the DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH, tell me if you think they are true or not. I want you women to be truthful. Here we go. 

Yes..................................No

 

Jim: (Bursts out laughing) I think this one might be true. 

 

Blair: Hell it’s true even for us. 

 

Simon: I know it’s true. 

 

Sully: Hell yes, it’s true. (Laughing)

 

Conner: Do I do this, Joel?

 

Joel: Yes…

 

Conner: So how do you know which answer I really mean? 

 

Joel: I’ve gotten good at your answers. It’s not a bad thing, Meggie, just something I had to get used to. 

 

Rafe: I think that a lot of couples do this. 

 

Brown: I know I do it sometimes. 

 

Dan: I do it too, but Sam does it big time. 

 

Sam: I do. I admit it and am ready for a 12 step program to help me stop. (Laughing)

 

Simon: Wow, look at the time. 

 

 

Joel: No...................................Yes

 

Jim: Everyone does this, don’t they? 

 

Blair: I know Jim does. 

 

Simon: I always say what I mean. 

 

Sully: He does, but it’s definitely me. 

 

Conner: I can’t believe we do this. I hate when these survey things are right on the money. 

 

Rafe: We all do these, Conner. 

 

Brown: Yup, we do. 

 

Dan: I always try to say what I mean, but I’m wishy-washy and change my mind a lot as I get the looks from Sam. 

 

Sam: The looks???

 

Dan: The ones that say, “You’re sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

 

Sam: Oh, those looks. (Laughing)

 

Simon: We finished another one. Time to move on. 

 

 

Joel: Maybe................................No

 

Blair: I really hate this one because Jim says maybe all the time when he actually means no. And then I get pissed off and don’t talk to him all day long. Wouldn’t it just be easier to say no to start with? 

 

Jim: Maybe… (Laughs)

 

Blair: See what I mean. He’s a shit. 

 

Simon: I never say maybe, it’s either yes or no with me. 

 

Sully: He’s serious. He never uses maybe. 

 

Simon: But Sully does all the time. 

 

Everyone laughs at the look on Sully’s face. 

 

Rafe: I’ve used this one a few times. 

 

Brown: I think we’ve all used this one, except for Simon. 

 

Dan: I don’t use maybe much. It’s either yes or no with me. 

 

Sam: I hate that he can make up his mind so easily. (Sighing loudly)

 

Simon: Now is it time to go home? 

 

 

Joel: We need..............................I want

 

Jim: I do this one. 

 

Blair: He does. 

 

Sully: So does Simon and I’ve done it a few times. 

 

Simon: A few times? 

 

Conner: I use this one all the time. 

 

Rafe: Henri uses this one a lot. 

 

Brown: I do. 

 

Dan: Sam uses this one a lot too. 

 

Sam: I do? I’ll try to watch that. 

 

Dan: I don’t care, I like getting you things you want. 

 

Sam: You are so sweet. (Kisses her man)

 

Simon: Well, will you look at the time? 

 

 

Joel: I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry

 

Blair: Jim says he’s sorry and means it. But I’m a little like this. 

 

Jim: He is. 

 

Simon: Why do you put up with that shit? 

 

Jim: Because I love him? 

 

Sully: Simon, I do this all the time. 

 

Simon: When you say you’re sorry, you don’t mean it? 

 

Sully: Rarely… I’m too busy figuring out how I can make you pay for something I want. (Laughs)

 

Conner: I do this and I know it. Even knowing it, I’ll probably still do it. 

 

Rafe: Henri does this a little bit. 

 

Brown: I do, but most of the time, I am sorry when I say it. 

 

Dan: I know Sam does this. I can just see her mind trying to think up something she can do to me to make me pay for her having to say she’s sorry. (Laughs)

 

Sam: He is so right and I don’t even mind admitting it. 

 

Simon: Now are we done? 

 

Joel: Not quite yet, Simon. 

 

We need to talk..................You're in trouble

 

Blair: Boy, does Jim ever do this one. 

 

Jim: I do. 

 

Sully: Simon does this one too. 

 

Simon: Only when I think you need it. (Laughs)

 

Conner: This is Joel, big time. 

 

Rafe: I think it’s funny that we find out that the men are doing these as much as the women. Henri does this too. 

 

Brown: So do you, Brian. 

 

Rafe: I know. (Snickers)

 

Dan: I do this sometimes when it’s something serious. 

 

Sam: He rarely does this, but I on the other hand do it all the time. 

 

Simon: Moving right along…

 

 

Joel: Sure, go ahead.....You better not

 

Blair: Jim does this a lot and it bugs me. Why say go ahead if it pisses you off? 

 

Jim: Because.

 

Blair: Because is your answer? 

 

Jim: I always hope that you’ll decide not to do whatever it is I don’t want you to do. I’m forever hopeful. 

 

Simon: Sully does this all the time and it pisses me off. 

 

Sully: Well, you better just learn to like it, or lump it. 

 

Simon: Lump it? 

 

Conner: (Laughs) I bet she keeps you on your toes, Simon. I do this all the time to poor Joel and the kids. 

 

Jim: I do it to our kids too. 

 

Sully: I do also. 

 

Rafe: I don’t do this, but Henri does and he does it to the kids too. 

 

Brown: I do. I’m guilty as charged. 

 

Dan: Sam does this all the time and yes, she does it to the kids too. 

 

Sam: I need to start watching that. 

 

Simon: Guess we could go on to the next one, Joel. 

 

 

Joel: Do what you want..................You will pay for this later

 

Blair: All right, Jim does this one too. Drives me nuts. 

 

Jim: Fuck you. 

 

Simon: Ding, ding, ding. Our first fuck you of the night, said by Jim Ellison to his beloved Blair Sandburg. Way to go, Jim. 

 

Sully: Jim, I do it too. 

 

Jim: I don’t do it. 

 

Blair: You do too. Ask anyone. 

 

Jim: Do I do this Simon? 

 

Simon: Who cares? 

 

Conner: Jim, you do it sometimes, and so does everyone else. I’ve seen Sandy do it too. 

 

Blair: I never do this. 

 

Conner: Oh yes you do, you do it in the bullpen all the time. Ask anyone. 

 

Blair: Do I do this, Simon? 

 

Simon: Who cares? (Laughs)

 

Blair: Shit…

 

Rafe: We all do it now and then. I’ve done it before and so has Henri. 

 

Brown: Yup, we both do it. 

 

Dan: I don’t do it very often, but I have done it. 

 

Sam: I do it all the time. Jim, honey are you going to stay mad at him? 

 

Jim: No, I never do. 

 

Blair: He loves me. (Smiles)

 

Jim: Yes, I do. 

 

Simon: This would be a good time to move on. 

 

 

Joel: I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!

 

Blair: Now don’t get upset, Jim, but you do this one. 

 

Jim: (Sighing) I know I do. I’ll try and work on it. 

 

Blair: Just tell me when you’re upset instead of making me guess.

 

Simon: Sully does this all the time. 

 

Sully: I don’t know how to break it to you, baby, but you do it too. 

 

Simon: I most certainly do not. 

 

Sully: You’re doing it now. 

 

Simon: Oh shit…

 

Conner: (Laughing) I do this all the time, but Joel has been known to do it too. 

 

Rafe: Both of us do this one. 

 

Brown: Do we ever and hell our kids do this to us. 

 

Dan: Ours do too, Henri. But Sam does this big time. 

 

Sam: I’m doing it now. (Laughs)

 

Simon: We could move along. 

 

 

Joel: You're attentive tonight.......Is sex all you ever think about?

 

Jim: Finally, one that Blair does. 

 

Blair: I do not. 

 

Jim: Yes you do. 

 

Blair: I only pay attention to you when I want sex? 

 

Jim: That’s not what I said. 

 

Blair: Fine, I won’t be attentive anymore. 

 

Simon: That’s real grown up of you, Sandburg. 

 

Jim: Stay out of it, Simon. 

 

Simon: Hey, I was on your side. 

 

Jim: I can take care of myself. 

 

Blair: You’re going to be taking care of yourself for a long, long while. 

 

Jim: (sighs)

 

Sully: All right, you two, stop fighting. And Simon, you sometimes do this. It drives me mad. 

 

Simon: Surely you jest? 

 

Sully: No and I’ve asked you not to call me Shirley. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Conner: I think I do this to Joel sometimes. 

 

Rafe: It takes a big person to admit they do this. Good for you, Conner. 

 

Brown: Brian, you do this. 

 

Rafe: I do not. 

 

Brown: Yes, you do. Not often, but sometimes. 

 

Rafe: Well shit. Does it bother you? 

 

Brown: Nah, I like to have sex with you. (They kiss)

 

Sam: I do this to Dan all the time. Sorry about that, honey. 

 

Dan: Well, I agree with Henri, a person doesn’t mind when he enjoys the outcome. 

 

Sam: Jim and Blair stop glaring at each other and kiss and make up. 

 

Blair leans in for a kiss and Jim gives him a half-assed kiss but Blair will have non of that. He holds on and kisses him with everything that he is. Jim pulled away and said, “Whoa.”

 

Sully: Now that’s better. 

 

Conner: We like a happy group. 

 

Simon: We could move now, while there is a lull in the action. 

 

Joel: Well, that’s all for tonight. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed reading these to you. Everyone drive safe. Goodnight. 

 

They all talked for a few minutes as they walked out to the parking lot and said their goodbyes. Anyone with a brain knew that Jim and Blair were hurrying because they wanted to have sex after that mind blowing kiss. 

 

This is how the Survey’s were supposed to go and tonight was no different. It was fun and they all enjoyed each other’s company. 

 

Life was good. 

 

Love was better. 

 

The end.


	112. Expressions for High Stress Days

Sullivan’s Pub Part 112

Expressions for High Stress Days

By Patt

Conner was so excited for the night. They hadn’t had a survey in two months. Between work and children, there was no time. She had missed everyone like mad, plus she had new pictures of the kids to share. 

 

Joel walked up to her and kissed her neck. “Are you excited?”

 

Megan turned and kissed him back. “I can’t wait; where is everyone?”

 

Joel laughed and said, “Well, here are Simon and Sully right now. Oh, there is Rafe and Brown too. Just calm down, honey bear.”

 

“I’m just so damn excited. Hi Sully, hi Simon. How are you doing, Henri and Brian?” Megan asked chomping at the bit. 

 

Henri smiled and answered, “We’re doing great. We’re pumped up about tonight. It’s been awhile since we’ve all been together. I think sometimes we get a little too wrapped up in family stuff and forget about our friends.”

 

Sully nodded and said, “I totally agree. We’ve been so busy with the kids lately that I can’t remember the last time I even talked with my sister. I know it’s been over ten days. We need to stop doing that.”

 

Simon grumbled, “They’re our kids, we have to spend time with them.”

 

Rafe laughed and said, “What a nice thing to say, Simon. I think she just means we need to take time for our friends too.”

 

Sully looked out the window and said, “Does anyone know if Sam and Dan are coming? I feel horrible that I don’t know that. She’s been so busy with this new case she’s on and she just doesn’t have the time.”

 

Simon smiled over at his guilty wife and said, “They’re just driving up now and so are Jim and Blair. So we can get this thing started, right?”

 

Everyone laughed because they all knew that Simon loved the get-to-gethers as much as anyone else. 

 

Blair bounced into the room and said, “Hey everyone. It’s great to be finally getting together.”

 

Jim smiled as he said, “What he said.”

 

Sam came in and hugged everyone she could get to as fast as she could. She almost started crying when she hugged her sister. “It’s been too long. I’ve spent so much time on the new case that I let you all slip away from me. I’m sorry.”

 

Jim said, “We’ve all done it. So tonight will be our night to get back to normal. It’s great seeing everyone outside of work.”

 

Megan clapped her hands and said, “Are we ready?”

 

Everyone laughed and said, “Yes.”

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: Tonight we’ll be discussing Expressions For High Stress Days. Do any of these sound familiar, just stupid or you like them?”

 

 

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 

 

Jim: Well I don’t wear makeup, but I do think that there are days that are a total waste. 

 

Blair: Me too.

 

Simon: We aren’t going to start with the me too crap. I have a lot of days that are a waste of time. 

 

Sully: You would. 

 

Simon: What do you mean by that?

 

Sully: You’re just grouchy tonight, that’s all. 

 

Rafe: In our line of work we say this every day. I mean, we say it’s a waste of time, not that it’s a waste of makeup. 

 

Brown: For a second there, I thought you were going to have something to tell me. No wonder you look so damn good for your age. 

 

Rafe: Oh shut up. 

 

Dan: I feel like this all the time. 

 

Sam: I think that a lot of days are a waste of makeup. 

 

Joel: I don’t wear makeup to work, but at home, sometimes it’s a waste. (Laughing) 

 

Simon: See, we all agree, time to move on, Conner.

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine? 

 

Blair: Pick me. Pick me. 

 

Conner: Okay, Blair, do you like this one?

 

Blair: I love this one. I want this on a t-shirt. Except I want it to say Well, aren’t we just a ray of sucking funshine? I mean we have kids. We can’t go around wearing a shirt that says fucking. 

 

Jim: (Almost falls out of his chair laughing) Good one, Chief. 

 

Simon: This one is stupid. What are we supposed to be saying. 

 

Sully: Do you ever feel like this, honey? 

 

Simon: Every day. 

 

Sully: I rest my case. (Laughs)

 

Rafe: I’d like one of those tee shirts that Sandburg is talking about. 

 

Brown: Are we taking orders? 

 

Conner: I can if anyone really wants them. 

 

Joel: I want one too. Blair, you have a quick mind for funny things. 

 

Sam: He has a quick mind for most things. I’m sure he wears Jim out. 

 

Dan: I second that. 

 

Blair: Hey wait, when did this become about me?

 

Simon: Since you opened your fat trap. Now are we ready to move on? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 

 

Blair: Oh my god, this screams Jim. 

 

Jim: It does not. 

 

Sully: Jim, it does. I’ve seen you clean my kitchen. 

 

Jim: Geeze…

 

Simon: Well, I wish he’d come over and clean it every day so we don’t have to. 

 

Sully: We????

 

Everyone laughed. 

 

Rafe: Jim, this is perfect for you. You’ve helped me clean up my kitchen many times. 

 

Brown: He’s not complaining, Jim. Just stating a fact. 

 

Joel: There is nothing wrong with wanting clean kitchens. 

 

Jim: Thank you, Joel. 

 

Joel bursts out laughing.

 

Jim: (sighing) So I’m a clean freak?

 

Sam: Yes, you are and we love that about you. 

 

Dan: No cleaner than I am. I’m freaky about how clean my kitchen has to be. 

 

Sam: He is. He’s like Jim. 

 

Simon: Could we move on now? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 

 

Jim: God, I say this every fucking day. 

 

Blair: So do I. I think we need posters that say this. 

 

Simon: But if you put them above your desk, people would think you were the ones the sign was talking about. 

 

Sully: He’s got a good point. Good one, honey. 

 

Simon: I am the Captain, after all. 

 

Joel: I like the saying, but wouldn’t put it anywhere where people could get the wrong impression. 

 

Rafe: I agree. 

 

Brown: Simon, isn’t that just like a me too comment? 

 

Rafe: Shut up. (Kisses Brown)

 

Sam: I use this saying all the time and I wouldn’t mind putting it in my office because sometimes I’m the crayon. 

 

Dan: (Laughing) You are not. 

 

Sam: Sometimes I am. Doesn’t anyone ever feel like they’re the crayon?

 

Simon: Doesn’t anyone else think this is a stupid subject. 

 

Sam: Who are you calling stupid?

 

Sully: Calm down, little miss red. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Simon: Are we ready to move it along? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. 

 

Jim: We’ve heard this one a million times, haven’t we? 

 

Blair: Speak for yourself, buddy. (Snickers)

 

Sully: I think this is personal growth sometimes. 

 

Simon: (Laughs) You would. 

 

Joel: This one is sort of old. 

 

Brown: I mean how many penis jokes have we had in this group since we started? 

 

Rafe: You mean about someone’s personal penis? 

 

Brown: No, I mean jokes. 

 

Sully: I’m with my sister, I could this as personal growth and am happy to see it. 

 

Dan: You would. 

 

Simon: Oh look, it’s done. Can we move on? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. 

 

Blair: I love this one. I want a shirt that says this. My life is like a fairy tale. 

 

Jim: You just want sex, babe. 

 

Blair: Well, we’re both fairies and we both have tails. So it’s perfect for our shirt. 

 

Simon: Here we go with the gay jokes. 

 

Sully: You crack me up, Blair. 

 

Blair: We have cracks too. (Laughing)

 

Joel: You are full of it tonight, aren’t you?

 

Rafe: I like this saying. It’s a good saying. We’re all living a fairy tale. 

 

Brown: You’ve got the best tail around, babe.

 

Rafe: (Leans in for a quick kiss) Thanks. 

 

Sully: I love this saying also, so I would like a tee shirt with this on it. Can we make notes and go shopping next week, Megan? 

 

Conner: That would be great. I’m writing down who wants them. 

 

Dan: I want one too, because I believe in the fairy tale big time. 

 

Simon: Okay, finally we’re done. What’s next?

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: Do I look like a fucking people person? 

 

Jim: This one screams Simon. 

 

Simon: I think it screams Jim. 

 

Blair: I think you both need help if you hear it screaming anything. 

 

Sully: (Falls out of chair laughing) Good one, Blair. 

 

Joel: I think it calls out both of their names, so you both have to accept it. 

 

Rafe: How about me, I’m not much of a people person.

 

Brown: Brian, honey, you love talking with people. 

 

Rafe: Oh yeah. 

 

Everyone laughed. 

 

Sam: I think it reminds me a little of Jim and Simon, but not a lot. 

 

Dan: Way to cave, Sam. 

 

Everyone laughed again. 

 

Simon: Can we stop listening to the damn thing and move on?

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 

 

Jim: I totally agree with this one and I know Blair does too. We hate fluorescent lighting. 

 

Blair: He’s right, I agree. 

 

Simon: You two just like to complain. 

 

Sully: No one else minds it? 

 

Simon: Not that I’ve heard of. 

 

Joel: Well you’re hearing it now. I don’t like the lights either. And they make black people look a strange color of brown. 

 

Conner: Oh honey, it does not. 

 

Joel: Yes it does. I’ve noticed it with Henri too. 

 

Brown: Man, I can’t catch a break. 

 

Rafe: You look great in the lighting. I don’t know what he’s talking about. 

 

Sam: What about Simon?

 

Dan: He’s never out in the bullpen and his office doesn’t have that lighting. 

 

Simon: I’m in the bullpen all the time and it hasn’t hurt me at all. 

 

Blair: We didn’t say it hurt you, it’s just the stations way of letting us try out hell before we go. 

 

Simon: You’re all full of shit. NEXT!!!

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 

 

Blair: Boy, is this me or what? 

 

Jim: Blair, you have everything you need. This is nothing like you. 

 

Blair: Well, it was until I married into money. (Snickers)

 

Simon: We are very comfortable too. 

 

Sully: That’s why I married into money. 

 

Simon: You are so full of shit tonight, Sully. 

 

Joel: I married for love. 

 

Conner leans into her man and gives him a big kiss. 

 

Rafe: This has nothing to do about marrying for love or money. It means you started out with nothing and have nothing still. This isn’t true for us. 

 

Brown: You can say that again. 

 

Rafe: This isn’t true for us.

 

Everyone throws pretzels at Rafe making him laugh. 

 

Rafe: What? He said to say it again. 

 

Sam: We’re very comfortable and I didn’t use to be, so I would say we’re doing much better than before. 

 

Dan: I agree with Sam 100%. 

 

Simon: Will you look at the time? Is it time to go yet? 

 

Conner: Not yet, Simon, calm down. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 

 

Blair: (laughing) I love this one. This is all of us. We goof off a lot and then ask to get raises. 

 

Jim: We work hard for our money. 

 

Joel: Are you going to break out into song now? 

 

Simon: I think this describes all of you.

 

Sully: Simon, it’s everyone now and then. 

 

Simon: Not me. 

 

Sully: It must be great being perfect. 

 

Simon: As a matter of fact, it is. 

 

Rafe: Mr. Perfect, it’s not your turn. We all goof off from time to time, but usually we earn our damn paycheck. 

 

Brown: What he said…

 

Sam: I make good money, but I have to actually do the work before I get paid, so this one doesn’t work for me. 

 

Dan: It does for me. And I love the saying. 

 

Simon: Now are we done? 

 

Everyone: NO!

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: You! Off my planet ! 

 

Blair: I feel like saying this to Simon most of the time. You’re such a grouch at work. 

 

Simon: You try getting all of you to work and see if you like it. 

 

Jim: I for one, think that we’re an easy bunch to work with. 

 

Sully: I would think so too. 

 

Joel: Yup, that’s us. Easy. (Laughs)

 

Rafe: I feel like saying this to people that come in with petty problems sometimes. 

 

Brown: I’ve never ever thought about saying this, but it’s sort of funny. 

 

Jim: Henri, I can’t believe you’ve never thought of it. 

 

Brown: I’m a little slow sometimes. 

 

Rafe: I beg to differ. 

 

Brown leans into Rafe and kisses him. 

 

Sam: I love when everyone is mushy. It makes me feel good. 

 

Dan: I’ve never wished anyone off the planet either that I know of. 

 

Simon: We all do, Dan and Henri. So what’s the next one?

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. 

 

Jim: This is what they should do at the stationhouse. Put bubble wrap into a room and put someone that is stressed out in there to pop them. 

 

Blair: I could see the Police Commissioner’s face now. 

 

Jim: But it might work. I love the damn things. 

 

Blair: You do not. You hate the noise from them. 

 

Jim: But I do like the feel of them. Just not the actual popping. 

 

Simon: So you would just sit in the room and rub them? (Laughing)

 

Jim: Why yes, I would. 

 

Sully: Jim, you are so cute. Go, you. 

 

Joel: I like to pop them. 

 

Rafe: It drives me nuts, but Henri likes to. 

 

Brown: I do. 

 

Rafe: Where have I heard that before? 

 

Brown: What? 

 

Rafe: I do.

 

Brown kisses his man again and everyone says, “Ahhh.”

 

Sam: I’ve forgotten the damn question. 

 

Dan: It’s okay honey, we all still love you. (Snickers)

 

Simon: Do you like to pop the bubble wrap?

 

Sam: Oh yeah, yes, I do. I love when something gets delivered and I get to play with it. I’m sure I drive Danny and the kids nuts. 

 

Dan: Never. 

 

Now it was their turn to kiss. 

 

Simon: Okay, next?

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control. 

 

Blair: I already do. 

 

Jim: He does. 

 

Simon: Every single day, thank god the rest of us have some sense. 

 

Sully: (Falls out of her chair laughing)

 

Joel: I do this sometimes. 

 

Rafe: I think we all do, Blair was just honest about it. Jim does too. 

 

Jim: I beg to differ. 

 

Brown: Jim, you do silly things from time to time too. 

 

Dan: I don’t even get this one. 

 

Sam: It’s okay honey, it’s because you’re too intelligent. 

 

Simon: Do I hear someone’s cell phone ringing. It might be the kids. 

 

Conner: Oh shame on you. You know the kids aren’t calling. 

 

Simon: They could be. Since Simone learned how to use the cell phone, we rarely get away from her. 

 

Sully: This is true. Does anyone else have kids that call them on the cell?

 

Jim: Probably all of us. 

 

Conner: I know Ellie does, but the twins aren’t interested in talking to us right now. They’re at that age. 

 

Simon: I wish Simone would be at that age, she never shuts up and she’s getting a smart mouth on her. 

 

Sully: Hush up, she’s a good girl. She’s just growing up and being a pain like she’s supposed to be. 

 

Simon: We couldn’t get any further from the subject. Want to move this one along, Conner? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? 

 

Blair: Okay, this is Jim and Simon sometimes. Not all the time, but now and then. 

 

Jim: I know I’m a little anal. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Simon: You? Never. 

 

Sully: Don’t make fun, Simon, you’re right there with him. 

 

Joel: I think you’re the only two that are that anal about everything. 

 

Brown: I agree. 

 

Rafe: I do too. 

 

Sam: Sorry, guys, this describes you well. 

 

Dan: I have to agree with my wife. She makes me. 

 

Simon: Well, the probe is still in there, so could we move this along? 

 

Everyone laughs, including Simon. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: I wish for a world of peace, harmony, & nakedness. 

 

Blair: I wish for this. 

 

Jim: You would. 

 

Blair: And this is a bad thing that I want to see you naked all the time? 

 

Jim: It will be in a few years when my muscles start to slump. 

 

Blair: Baby, you are never going to slump. 

 

The boys kiss. 

 

Simon: I wish for this a little more often in the house. 

 

Sully: Really? I could arrange that, baby. 

 

Joel: We have naked days, so I got my wish. 

 

Blair: Naked days? Explain. 

 

Joel: We get rid of the kids for five hours or so and we just strip and go naked the entire time they’re gone. We love it. 

 

Rafe: Okay, we’re going to start doing this too. 

 

Brown: Sounds good to me. 

 

Sam: We do it too, Joel. Did you tell Danny about it because it was his idea. 

 

Joel: I might have. (smiles)

 

Dan: I love naked days. 

 

Simon: Okay, enough about naked days. Are we done yet? It feels like we’ve been here for hours. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 

 

Blair: I know we’ve done this one before and I love it. 

 

Jim: It’s so true. 

 

Simon: So you would blame someone else? 

 

Sully: But of course, sweetheart. 

 

Joel: I would feel terrible about doing it, but I would still do it. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Brown: I like this saying, I ‘d like it on a shirt. 

 

Rafe: Me too. 

 

Sam: I feel this way a lot lately. 

 

Dan: Is work all right? 

 

Sam: Just crazy, honey. Everything is fine. 

 

Simon: Now are we done? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

Conner: And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...? 

 

Blair: Now I know this one sounds like Jim, Simon, Joel and Rafe. None of them have any patience for whiners. 

 

Jim: You’re right, I don’t. 

 

Simon: I don’t either. So I want this put on a shirt, Conner. 

 

Conner: (smiled) Yes, sir.

 

Sully: I can just see him wearing it to some function where I’m trying to impress someone. 

 

Simon: Tough toodles. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Joel: I don’t have any time for whiners either, so Blair is quite right. 

 

Rafe: I just had to listen to someone today and I wish I would have had on that shirt. 

 

Brown: But babe, we’re supposed to be supportive. 

 

Rafe: Then I would say, READ MY SHIRT. 

 

Sam: I would like one of those shirts too. 

 

Dan: You would? 

 

Sam: Yes, Dan. Things have been ugly at work lately and I’m tired of the whining from everyone. 

 

Simon: Oh look, I think we’re done. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Conner: I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. 

 

Blair: Okay, what does crazy have to do with a bad mood? The last part is just like Simon and Jim. But not the first part, they aren’t crazy. 

 

Jim: Why do you keep putting me in the same ones as Simon? 

 

Blair: Did you hear this one, Jim? 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Sully: I think the last part sounds like Simon too, but not the crazy part. 

 

Simon: Well thank you for that much, I guess. 

 

Sully: You’re whining, Simon. Remember what we do with whiners. 

 

Joel: This one makes no sense to me. 

 

Simon: And some of them do? 

 

Joel: Yes, some of them are pretty spot on for us. 

 

Simon: I think this one is stupid. 

 

Sully: See, I told you he’s been in a bad mood for 30 years. 

 

Rafe: Whoa, if looks could kill, Sully. 

 

Brown: Stop looking at our Sully like that, Simon. 

 

Simon: Our Sully? 

 

Sam: Yes, our Sully. Be nice. 

 

Dan: Yes, be nice to her. 

 

Simon: Conner, please tell me this one is done. 

 

“As a matter of fact, we are done for the night. Thank you to everyone for coming. It’s been way too long. Well, except for grumpy there.” Conner said with a large smile on her face. 

 

Everyone got up and started to get ready to go. It was another nice night at Sullivan’s Pub and they were glad they were all friends. 

 

The end


	113. Expressions for High Stress Days 2

Sullivan’s Pub Part 113

Expressions for High Stress Days 2

By Patt

 

Patt

 

Connor knew that Jim and Blair had been fighting for three days. She didn’t know the reason why, but hoped it wouldn’t pour cold water on the next Sullivan’s Pub meeting. She hoped they would kiss and makeup by then. But with Jim and Blair, it was anyone’s guess. 

 

She and Joel arrived first, as always and got the room set up for everyone. One by one all of their friends came walking into the room and finally Jim and Blair arrived. Megan could tell right away that they were still on the outs. She would just have to try and make this a fun one. 

 

“Hi everyone.” Joel said. 

 

Everyone said, “Hi.”

 

They all began to sit in their seats and Jim sat across from Blair for a change and everyone knew things were going to go downhill from then on. 

 

Rafe: Are you afraid to get cooties from Sandburg?

 

Jim: More or less.

 

Blair: Fuck you.

 

Simon: Oh this is going to be a good one already, I can tell. 

 

Connor said, “Hey, we have more expressions for high stress days. Anyone game?”

 

Everyone: Yes. 

 

Connor: Just tell us if you agree with the saying, disagree or think it’s stupid. 

 

>>

Connor: A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 

 

Jim: Well, we don’t even have cubicles, so I wouldn’t know. 

 

Blair: Sometimes just being around you is like being inside a cubicle.

 

Jim: Fuck you. 

 

Joel: Guys, this is supposed to be fun. I agree with this saying. 

 

Simon: I do too. I think sometimes the areas we have to work in are just too small. 

 

Sully: I wouldn’t know, but it sounds small. 

 

Rafe: Think how we feel, Simon. We don’t have a big airy office to work in. 

 

Simon: Fuck you, Rafe. 

 

Brown: Wow, three fuck you’s and we’re only on the first one. Woo Hoo. This might be a good one tonight, Connor. 

 

Dan: I think cubicles should be outlawed. Makes people nuts. 

 

Sam: Jim and Blair, are you fighting? 

 

Jim: Just ask Blair, he knows everything about everything. 

 

Blair: Fuck you.

 

Simon: Could we move this on, Connor? 

 

>>

 

Connor: Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. 

 

Jim: I agree with this one. I need a shirt that says it. 

 

Blair: You are the shirt, you ass. 

 

Joel: Okay, what’s wrong?

 

Simon: I don’t think we should be talking about personal stuff while we do the survey. Just finish this and we can go home. They can say fuck you to each other all the way home. 

 

Sully: I agree with Jim. This would make a good tee shirt. 

 

Rafe: Okay, what is wrong with you, Blair?

 

Blair: Why ask me. Ask the drama queen, he has all of the answers.

 

Jim: Fuck you.

 

Brown: So you’re both stressed, is that right? 

 

Rafe: I think that goes without saying. 

 

Dan: I hope you two make up soon, we hate when you fight. Actually I hate when anyone fights. 

 

Sam: It depends on how they make up. Are you going to fuck each other senseless?

 

Blair: Ha, that’s a good one. 

 

Jim: Shut the fuck up, Sandburg. 

 

Joel: Don’t call him Sandburg while you’re here. This is supposed to be a fun place. 

 

Blair: It’d be more fun if Jim wasn’t here.

 

Connor: No one is leaving. Sit back down, Jim. We’re going to finish this and then you boys can talk or fight. But you’re staying here. (Jim sits back down)

 

Simon: This would be a good time to move on to the next one, Connor. 

 

>>

 

Connor: Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes? 

 

Jim: I have no answer to this one. 

 

Blair: It’s stupid. 

 

Joel: I think it might be stupid too. 

 

Simon: It is sort of stupid. 

 

Sully: No, it’s not stupid, it’s true. Sometimes, I wish that Simon would just come home early and that would be my first wish as he came through the door. So it really could be true. 

 

Rafe: That was sweet, Sully, but we have the official lovebirds fighting tonight, so no mushy stuff. (Laughs)

 

Brown: I agree with Sully. Sometimes, Rafe is just what I’m wishing for. 

 

Dan: I think this could be true about any of us. 

 

Sam: It is for us, honey.

 

Jim: I still think it’s stupid. 

 

Blair: You would. 

 

Jim: You would know, wouldn’t you?

 

Simon: Okay, time for the next one. 

 

>>

Connor: Back off! You're standing in my aura. 

 

Jim: Blair is definitely standing in mine. 

 

Blair: Oh fuck you. 

 

Jim: You’re so original too. 

 

Joel: All right you two, what’s going on?

 

Jim: It’s no one’s business.

 

Blair: I’ll talk if you want to listen.

 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

 

Blair: Back up, you’re standing in my aura, asshole. 

 

Simon: Okay, I could care less why your fighting, but just keep the comments to yourself or go home. We don’t need the negativity. 

 

Connor: No one’s going home. Jim, sit back down again. (Jim sits down and doesn’t know why he’s listening to Connor)

 

Sully: I feel like Simon is in my aura a lot. Some days you just aren’t meant to be standing close to one another. 

 

Rafe: I agree with Sully. This could be any of us. 

 

Brown: It’s true for Jim and Blair. They just told us. 

 

Dan: I think we all feel a little closed in sometimes. We need to regroup and remember what’s important. 

 

Sam: Danny, that’s so sweet and thoughtful. Jim and Blair, are you listening?

 

Jim: (Glares at Sam)

 

Blair: (Glares at Jim)

 

Simon: We could move this along.

 

>>

 

Connor: I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one. 

 

Jim: I don’t get this one. 

 

Blair: No one ever said he was the smart one of the team. 

 

Joel: I don’t get it either. 

 

Simon: Who cares? It’s stupid. 

 

Sully: This isn’t the funniest one of them. 

 

Rafe: Jim, I didn’t get it either. Smart alec Sandburg, explain to us what it means. 

 

Brown: Yeah, what he said. 

 

Blair: Under stress you sometimes don’t know if you’re a good person or a bad person. 

 

Dan: Like you are doing right now? 

 

Sam: Don’t take sides, Danny. 

 

Blair: Yeah, what she said. 

 

Simon: Could we move it along now?

 

>>

Connor: Don't worry. I forgot your name, too! 

 

Jim: I’ve never done this. 

 

Blair: I have. Once when I was a little nervous. Oh yeah, that was last week. 

 

Jim: Fuck you. 

 

Blair: You keep promising, but nothing comes of it. 

 

Joel: Oh okay, now we see what the problem is. 

 

Simon: I don’t want to hear about it. 

 

Sully: I do. 

 

Joel: Tell us about it. 

 

Rafe: Come on, Sandburg, you know you’re dying to. 

 

Jim: Shut the fuck up, Blair. 

 

Blair: Okay, I’m not saying anything because he was kind enough to call me Blair. (Laughs evilly)

 

Brown: Okay, let us guess. Someone isn’t getting any sex and is taking it out on the other one, right? 

 

Dan: This really isn’t our business, unless they ask us something. (Smiles)

 

Sam: You boys start getting along, and I don’t mean maybe.

 

Simon: I think I hear someone calling our names, Connor. Better hurry. 

 

>>

 

Connor: One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me. 

 

Jim: Blair needs this shirt. 

 

Blair: Fuck you and the horse you came in on. 

 

Joel: (Laughs) You two really ought to get along tonight. This would be a lot more fun with you guys teasing each other. I think this saying is on the money for most of us. 

 

Blair: Not Jim. 

 

Jim: Shut up. 

 

Simon: Don’t tell him to shut up and why are you sitting across the table from him?

 

Sully: Yeah, why are you?

 

Jim: I don’t want to be tempted to smack him senseless. 

 

Simon: I hope you’re kidding. 

 

Jim: Yes, I’m kidding. 

 

Blair: You know you want to punch me. Just do it. 

 

Rafe: Don’t antagonize him, Sandburg. 

 

Brown: Yeah, you’re going out of your way to piss him off. I’d be tempted to hit you too. 

 

Jim: No one thinks about hitting him. 

 

Dan: Now did you see that? Jim got all upset over the idea of someone smacking Blair, but yet, he wants to do it himself. Go figure. 

 

Sam: Do we need a lawyer yet?

 

Jim: We might soon.

 

Blair: Oh fuck you, Ellison. 

 

Simon: This is getting old, guys. Connor, move this along. 

 

>>

Connor: I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? 

 

Jim: I don’t even know what to say about this one. 

 

Blair: I do. I agree with it 100 percent. 

 

Joel: That stuff is nice, but nothing beats the real person. 

 

Blair: Spoken like a man that’s getting some. 

 

Jim: Shut up, Sandburg. 

 

Simon: Oh for Christ’s sake, just kiss and makeup. I can’t stand the pressure. 

 

Sully: Yes, kiss him, Jim. 

 

Jim: Did you ever think I might not want to?

 

Sully: Actually, no. I never thought you would say that. 

 

Jim: Well, I don’t always want to kiss him. I don’t always want to anything with him. But he seems to think I should whether I want to or not. 

 

Blair: Oh you’re such a fucking whiner. Who has been ignoring me for two weeks now? And I’ve given you no reason to. 

 

Jim: I’ve had some things on my mind. 

 

Rafe: Like what?

 

Brown: Yeah, talk to us, man.

 

Jim: I don’t want to, that’s the whole point. They’re private thoughts and I want to have them in my mind alone. 

 

Blair: See? Didn’t I tell ya? 

 

Dan: Jim, sometimes it helps to talk to someone else. If not Blair, then maybe one of us.

 

Sam: Jim honey, do you want to talk to one of us?

 

Jim: No…

 

Simon: Okay, perfect time to move this along. 

 

>>

 

Connor: I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? 

 

Jim: This one’s stupid. 

 

Blair: Yeah, and the other ones made perfect sense. 

 

Jim: Fuck you.

 

Joel: Stop saying that to one another. You’re upsetting Meggie. 

 

Simon: They’re upsetting me. Knock it off. 

 

Sully: I’m here for both of you, when and if you need to talk. 

 

Blair: I might take you up on that tomorrow. Want to have lunch?

 

Jim: Don’t drag our friends into our arguments. 

 

Blair: Then stop being a butthead. 

 

Rafe: I’d like to take Jim out for lunch and teach him a few things about handling that brat of his. 

 

Jim: You don’t call him a brat. 

 

Rafe: Why? You’re both acting like one. 

 

Brown: Brian, keep out of it. 

 

Dan: Jim, I think maybe you need someone to talk to. I’m here for you. 

 

Sam: I’d really like to talk to the two of you once we get done doing this. Something is wrong and I think you both need help. 

 

Jim: We’re fine, Sam. Stop worrying. 

 

Blair: Yeah, we’re just peachy. (Glares at Jim)

 

Simon: Okay, Connor, are we done yet?

 

>>

 

Connor: You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. 

 

Jim: (sighs)

 

Blair: I said this to Jim, earlier when he called me a fucking bitch. 

 

Joel: You called Blair a bitch? 

 

Jim: I might have. I can’t remember how it started. 

 

Blair: Want me to tell them? 

 

Jim: I swear to you, I’ll leave you. 

 

Simon: Okay, it’s time to talk to the two of you. Now who wants to start telling us what’s wrong?

 

Jim looked away and Blair stood up. “I’ll start. He’s being a drama queen about something and won’t share it with me. And he won’t have sex with me either. Something is going on, but he won’t talk about it. He’s even been short with the kids.

 

Simon looked at Jim and said, “And?”

 

Jim said, “And what? I have a private life you know. Go back to the survey, and I mean it, or I’m leaving.”

 

>>

 

Connor: Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you! 

 

Jim: Not going to happen. 

 

Blair: Fuck you. 

 

Joel: I’m worried about you two. 

 

Simon: Stop worrying and answer the survey. 

 

Joel: I like this saying. I wish Jim and Blair would both say it to each other. 

 

Blair: Not going to happen. 

 

Sully: Okay, I think it would be nice to hear them say it too. 

 

Rafe: I like this saying. Henri, let’s remember this when we’re mad at each other and say that. 

 

Brown: Okay, I like it too. 

 

Dan: I think that Sam and I will remember this one, too. 

 

Sam: We sure will. Boys, please tell us what’s wrong.

 

Jim: Let’s do the survey, or I leave. 

 

Blair: Yeah, we wouldn’t want that.

 

Jim got up and walked into the restroom. Everyone just sat there for a moment until Joel said, “Is anyone going to go after him?”

 

Blair: Who cares? 

 

Sully: We do. You do too. What’s wrong with him? You must have a clue, Blair. 

 

Blair: If I had a clue, I’d fix it, but he won’t let me get close to him. 

 

Simon: I’ll go and get him. 

 

They all watched Simon head off to the restroom and waited patiently. 

 

Simon opened the door and said, “So what’s the problem?”

 

“I want to be alone.”

 

“So go home.” Simon answered. 

 

“I mean, I want to be alone without Blair.” Jim said with tears in his eyes. 

 

“All right, we just passed into that damn Sandburg/Ellison Twilight Zone. What’s going on?” Simon asked. 

 

Jim replied, “You won’t believe me but Blair is seeing someone else.”

 

Simon burst out laughing and said, “What are you talking about?”

 

“He’s been working late when I’m not there, and I call and no one knows where he is. And I smell a man’s scent on him when he comes home on those late nights. It’s the same scent every time for a week now. He keeps telling me, he’s only working and I’m overreacting, but I know my senses well enough to know the truth.”

 

“Okay, then you need to talk to him. I’ll try and keep everyone out of your business. Now do you want to come back in, or do you want to leave now?” Simon asked. 

 

“I want to leave now. Please tell everyone goodbye for me.” Jim walked out of the bathroom looking like he’d lost his best friend. 

 

Simon walked back into the Pub room and said, “Jim won’t be joining us for the rest of it.”

 

Connor: Why not?

 

Simon: He’s got things on his mind and he wants to think.

 

Blair: That’ll be a first. 

 

Sully: Blair, stop being so hateful to him. 

 

Blair: He accused me of being with another man. That’s low. 

 

Simon: So you weren’t?

 

Blair: Duh, what do you think? Why do you think I’ve been bothering him for sex. I like sex with him. I like him. Hell, I adore him. 

 

Joel: Then why does he think you’re fooling around? 

 

Blair: I have no idea. 

 

Simon: (Looks shocked) So he didn’t tell you why?

 

Blair: No, did he tell you?

 

Simon: He said you’ve been working late and you come home smelling of another man. He said it’s the same man. 

 

Blair: Oh shit…

 

Simon: There is someone?

 

Blair: I’m having a portrait done for Jim for our Anniversary and he’s a friend of mine from college. 

 

Sully: Is it a nude?

 

Blair: Yes, if you must know, it is. It’s for our bedroom. 

 

Simon: So call him back here.

 

Blair pulled out his cell phone and called Jim. “Hello?”

 

“Jim, come back here. I have something to tell you about where I’ve been going every night for the last five days.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it in front of all of our friends.” Jim said. 

 

Blair assured him things would be fine by saying, “I’ve told them why and they’re telling me to call you back. So it isn’t as bad as you think.”

 

“It’s not bad?” A scared Jim asked. 

 

“No, it’s good. Now come on back and we’ll talk then.” Blair said before he closed his cell. He’s on his way back, now. 

 

Sam: I’m so glad this is going to get worked out. 

 

Dan: Why didn’t he just ask you?

 

Blair: Hell if I know. 

 

Joel: He was probably afraid that you were with someone younger, more hair and more like you.

 

Connor: The poor thing. He’s been fretting over this for days without talking to anyone. When will he learn that it’s better to go to your friends for help?

 

Sully: We’re going to have to remind him now and then, I think. Both of them, maybe?

 

Blair: I promise if something like this comes up again, I’ll ask for someone’s help. I don’t like fighting with him at all. 

 

Jim walked through the doorway and Blair rushed to his mate and jumped into his arms. They began to kiss like crazy. Blair whispered things into Jim’s ear about what was going on and why and Jim had the decency to blush. Then Blair pulled him over to his side of the table and they both sat down. 

 

Connor: Better?

 

Jim: Much, thank you. 

 

Blair: I can’t believe you thought I would do something with someone else and then want sex with you. What a jerk you are sometimes. 

 

Jim: I’m in love, what can I say?

 

Simon: Is this thing over with yet?

 

Connor: Not quite. A few more, then we can all go home. 

 

>>

 

Connor: Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong. 

 

Jim: Macho law or not, I’m here to say I was wrong and I’m really, really sorry. 

 

Blair: You are so going to get lucky tonight. 

 

Jim: Yes, I am. (Jim blushes)

 

Joel: Glad to see you guys are back in gear. I don’t follow this macho law either. 

 

Simon: I sort of do. 

 

Sully: You do, you don’t just sort of. 

 

Rafe: I follow the macho rulebook. (Laughing)

 

Brown: Yeah, right…

 

Dan: Glad to see Jim and Blair back to kissing again. 

 

Sam: I’m so glad I didn’t have to do divorce papers for you.

 

Jim: Sam, I wouldn’t have asked you to anyhow. And besides, we’re not really married. 

 

Sam: You know what I mean. It could have been messy. I don’t ever want to do that for the two of you. 

 

Simon: Now are we done?

 

>>

Connor: Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 

 

Jim: This is annoying. 

 

Blair: Yeah, what he said. 

 

Joel: I think some men are annoying, but most of us aren’t. 

 

Simon: I couldn’t agree more, Joel. 

 

Sully: I think it’s a funny saying, though. 

 

Rafe: You would. (Laughs)

 

Brown: I think it’s a funny saying too and I’m a guy. 

 

Dan: I don’t like this saying at all. 

 

Sam: Where is your sense of humor? I think it’s a hoot.

 

Simon: On to the next one, Connor. 

 

>>

Connor: Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done. 

 

Jim: I feel like I just lived through this one. 

 

Blair: I’m sorry.

 

Jim: Next time we’ll talk. 

 

Joel: I like this saying. Honey, I’d like one on a shirt. 

 

Connor: Okay. 

 

Simon: I like this saying too. It would work as a plaque in the squad room. 

 

Sully: It would work here at Sullivan’s Pub too. 

 

Rafe: I like this saying too. 

 

Brown: I also like it. 

 

Dan: It would work well in the morgue too. 

 

Sam: Let’s not think about that, honey. (Laughs)

 

Simon: Are we almost done here? 

 

Connor: Just about. 

 

>>

 

Connor: I plead contemporary insanity. 

 

Jim: This one should be for me alone. 

 

Everyone: Hear, hear. 

 

Simon: Next? 

 

>>

 

Connor: I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. 

 

Blair: Oh this reminds me of our friend Margaret at the station. She said that she’s so alert on her new drugs that blinking is highly overrated. 

 

Jim: (Laughs)

 

Simon: I feel this way sometimes. 

 

Joel: You act this way sometimes. 

 

Sully: Yes he does. 

 

Rafe: He acts this way a lot of the time. 

 

Brown: Sorry, but it’s true. Stop giving Brian dirty looks. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Dan: I feel this way sometimes. 

 

Sam: Danny, you’re the most laid back person here. 

 

Dan: Oh, all right. 

 

Everyone laughs again. 

 

Simon: Ready for the next one?

 

>>

 

Connor: When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

 

Jim: I’m not picking on you, Blair, but this is you to a tee. 

 

Blair: It is. 

 

Joel: It is sort of Blair-like. 

 

Simon: I don’t want to start anything, but I couldn’t agree more. 

 

Sully: Yes, this is Blair all the way. 

 

Rafe: I don’t want to get my ass kicked, so I’ll just say I think we all do this now and then. 

 

Brown: I knew I married a smart man. (Smiles)

 

Dan: I agree with Rafe. We all do this. 

 

Sam: Okay, sometimes, maybe. 

 

Simon: I’m getting cranky, is this almost done? 

 

Connor: Yes, that was the last one. I hope you all enjoyed yourself. 

 

Jim and Blair got up and hugged everyone and took off out the door. 

 

Simon smiled and said, “Gosh, I wonder what they’re going to be doing?”

 

Rafe said, “Makeup sex is the best sex.”

 

Brown smiled evilly and said, “Well... maybe not the best.”

 

Rafe grabbed Brown and they walked out of the building kissing and holding hands. 

 

Everyone left talked for a little while about how scary it was to think of Jim and Blair breaking up, but then they all decided it was time to go home. 

 

Connor was glad that tonight turned out better than it started. She loved the pub surveys and didn’t want to call them off for any reason. 

 

Life was still good. 

 

The end


	114. Women Over 50

Sullivan’s Pub Part 114

Women Over 50

By Patt

 

 

Connor felt like doing something a little bit different that night, so she chose something they had never done before. Women over 50 would be a good thing to discuss, since all of the women of Sullivan’s Pub would be there eventually. 

 

Everyone walked into the meeting room and said hello to each other. Jim and Blair were late as usual. 

 

Simon said, “Do Jim and Blair show up late to piss me off?” 

 

Connor answered, “I don’t think they plan on it. I think Blair has a hard time meeting time challenges. And Jim’s just along for the ride.”

 

Dan and Sam started laughing just thinking about the two men being late all the time. 

 

Sully said, “I happen to know that it drives Jim nuts, but he’s with the boss, you know?” 

 

They all laughed as Jim and Blair pulled up and parked out front of Sullivan’s. 

 

They walked in and Jim said, “Sorry we’re late.”

 

Simon grumbled, “Can we get this thing started or what?”

 

Connor smiled at everyone and said, “Tonight we’re going to be discussing women over 50.”

 

“Oh I like that idea,” Sully said. 

 

“I do too,” Sam agreed. 

 

Blair looked around the room and said, “We don’t know anyone that’s 50 besides our mom’s. What do we know about being a woman and 50?”

 

“Yeah, what he said,” Jim stated. 

 

Connor laughed and said, “Sit down everyone and we’ll get this one started. Just tell me if you think it’s true, if you agree with the saying or it’s just stupid.”

 

Everyone sat down and got ready for the evening to begin. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. 

 

Jim: (falls out of his chair laughing.) I like this one already. I agree with this one. 

 

Blair: (Laughing also) I think it’s funny too. 

 

Joel: But is it true? I think so. (Everyone laughs)

 

Simon: I feel this way sometimes. Maybe because I’m almost 50. What do you think, Joel? 

 

Joel: I forget Meggie’s name sometimes. So yeah, I would forget where I set the baby down. 

 

Connor: Oh you would not. (Laughing)

 

Sully: I could see myself doing this in a few years. 

 

Rafe: I think this one’s stupid. 

 

Brown: Everyone raise their hand that is surprised by this. 

 

Dan: I think that I’ll forget a lot by the time I’m 50. I already do and I have a ways to go yet. 

 

Sam: I agree with Dan. I’m a mess already and I’m only in my 30’s.

 

Simon: That’s all, I think we could move on, Connor. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. 

 

Jim and Blair both fell out of their chair laughing. Joel was right along with them. 

 

Jim: This is so fucking funny, where do you find this stuff, Connor?

 

Connor: A friend from work gave me these. Aren’t they a hoot? 

 

Blair: What exactly is a hoot anyhow? 

 

Sully tossed some peanuts at Blair for even asking. 

 

Joel: I think this one’s funny too. Very funny, Meg. 

 

Simon: It doesn’t really make any sense though. 

 

Sully: You want these to make sense? Since when? 

 

Simon: Did you think it was funny?

 

Sully: Everyone was laughing, Simon. Where is your sense of humor?

 

Rafe: I’m with Simon. I think it’s dumb. 

 

Simon: I take it back; I think it’s sort of funny. (Jim laughs his ass off)

 

Brown: I like this one, it’s fun. 

 

Dan: I agree with Henri. It’s a riot. 

 

Sam: I hope I’m not like that when I’m 50. 

 

Dan: It’ll be all right because you’re the youngest so you’ll still be better off then anyone else in the group. 

 

Simon: We could go on to the next one. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

Jim: This is true for men and women. I never understood it at all. 

 

Blair: Oh please. Are you going to sit there and tell us you gain weight? 

 

Jim: I’ve been known to. 

 

Joel: (Laughs) I know all about it, don’t I, Meggie? 

 

Connor: We all do. 

 

Simon: Who could eat a 2-pound box of chocolates? I couldn’t. 

 

Sully: I hate you…

 

Simon: Why? You’ve never eaten a box of chocolates in your life. 

 

Sully: Because I would gain a ton of weight from it. So I stay away from them. 

 

Simon: Oh…

 

Rafe: Henri and I have a problem with a box full of chocolate. Okay, stop giving me the dirty look. It’s me. I eat the whole damn thing. 

 

Brown: But he doesn’t gain any, he just runs further than he usually does. I hate him.

 

Rafe: You do not. 

 

Brown: I know. (Sighs)

 

Dan: I’ve never ever wanted to eat a box of chocolates. 

 

Sam: You’re a cruel man. I would eat them every chance I got, if you brought them home to me. 

 

Simon: So basically some of us have self-control and some of us don’t. 

 

Rafe: Exactly. 

 

Simon: Now that we know this, we can safely move on, Connor. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

 

Jim: What has this got to do with being 50? I did this at 30. 

 

Blair: So do I. 

 

Joel: I agree with both of them, I’ve been doing this for years. I don’t think we have to wait until we’re 50 for it. 

 

Simon: I’ve been doing it for years too. 

 

Sully: Thankfully, I never forget anything. (Bursts out laughing, hysterically)

 

Rafe: So I take it you’re just like the rest of us then. I started forgetting things in my 20’s, what does that say about me? 

 

Brown: What was the question? 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Dan: I forget everything, I keep notes on post-its all over my office. It looks like some kind of mod art form. 

 

Sam: (laughing) I know the feeling and I think having children speeds up the process. 

 

Simon: You could be right with that. I think it’s safe to move along. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

 

Jim: My shoes must be too tight, I don’t even understand this fucking one. 

 

Blair: I don’t either. 

 

Joel: I don’t either, but you boys make me laugh anyhow. 

 

Simon: This makes a certain amount of sense, if you really think about it. 

 

Sully: Excuse me? This makes sense?

 

Simon: Yeah, if you have tight shoes on, it makes you forget about everything else because you’re focusing on the shoes. 

 

Rafe: You’re so full of shit, Simon. 

 

Brown: Yeah, what he said. 

 

Simon: But at least I don’t focus on things for too long so that I want to kick all of your asses at work. 

 

Dan: So are you saying you wear tight shoes every day to work?

 

Sam: (Laughing) Oh that is rich. 

 

Simon: I might not wear them yet, but I’m going to start. 

 

Everyone laughs. Jim almost falls out of his chair. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does. 

 

Jim: This is so true. I feel like this in our neighborhood. Everyone knows about everybody’s business. 

 

Blair: Do they? 

 

Jim: Blair is the first one to dish out the gossip. (Kisses Blair quickly)

 

Joel: I believe our neighborhood to be like this also. They know everything that goes on. 

 

Simon: I’ve never noticed. 

 

Sully: That’s because your fucking shoes are too tight. (Laughs)

 

Simon: Oh shut up about the shoes. 

 

Rafe: I think our neighbors are very nosey. They all want to know everything about the kids all the time. Sometimes it bothers us a little bit. 

 

Brown: Just sometimes. Other times it’s really nice to have concerned and caring neighbors. 

 

Dan: Is that another way of saying nosey?

 

Sam: Oh yeah, we’ve got some of the nosiest neighbors around, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

 

Simon: Will you look at that? We’re done with another one. Time to move it along. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. (Laughs while she’s reading it)

 

Jim: This is true. 

 

Blair: Oh shut up. You know nothing about fat. 

 

Jim: Yes, I do. I know that if I don’t run and workout every day it’ll catch up to me. 

 

Joel: I hate him sometimes too, Blair. 

 

Simon: I stay in shape without all of that exercise. 

 

Sully: WE get plenty of exercise. 

 

Rafe: (Laughs) I don’t think they mean that type of exercise. 

 

Sully: They might. 

 

Brown: They aren’t even talking about exercise. And Brian is just like Jim. The fat melts off his body as quick as it even thinks about going on it. 

 

Rafe: Not true. I have to work at it to keep in shape. 

 

Dan: I don’t worry about it. My body and fat are really, really good friends. 

 

Sam: I work out, so I know how hard it is to lose. I wish it was easier, but I know that Jim and Brian work hard at it too. 

 

Simon: I’ll be damned, another one is done. Move it…

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

 

Everyone burst out laughing. 

 

Jim: I hate changes. 

 

Blair: We all know that, Jim. 

 

Joel: I hate changes too, so I really feel like this on a daily basis. 

 

Simon: I think this one is sort of stupid. 

 

Sully: I love it. It makes total sense to me. 

 

Rafe: I hate changes too and you do just get used to today and tomorrow comes along. It’s a bummer. 

 

Brown: I totally agree with all of you, except for Simon. 

 

Dan: I happen to like the idea of being able to wipe the slate clean and start over again. So I don’t mind the changes. 

 

Sam: Oh, you are so sweet. (Kisses Dan)

 

Simon: It’s starting to get mushy, Connor. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness. 

 

Jim: In my sleep, I believe that I know everything and always know what to do. Then I wake up. 

 

Blair: (Laughs) I couldn’t agree with you more. 

 

Joel: Boy, this one is right on the money. 

 

Simon: I do understand everything, and I’m conscious. 

 

Sully: Simon, you don’t understand everything, or you wouldn’t have answered that question like you did. 

 

Rafe: She got you there, Simon. 

 

Brown: I hate realizing that you’re not right. 

 

Dan: I’d like this for a plaque for my office, it would be perfect. My own motto. 

 

Sam: I’ll write it down and have it made for you. 

 

Simon: Are we just about done? 

 

Connor: Almost. Just a few more. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.

 

Jim: Okay, this one is dumb. 

 

Blair: Speak for yourself. My underwear would catch fire if I ran as much as you do. 

 

Joel: Isn’t that the truth? 

 

Simon: I agree with Jim, it’s stupid. 

 

Sully: Why not tell us how you really feel, Simon. 

 

Rafe: Well, it is dumb. 

 

Brown: I have to agree with Brian on that. 

 

Dan: I think it’s dumb too. 

 

Sam: I think we’re all in agreement except for Blair and Joel. 

 

Simon: I think we can safely move to the next one. There will be no catching fires on my shift. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes! 

 

Jim: I don’t get this one. 

 

Blair: You wouldn’t because you’re still wearing the same sized pants that you had in college days. Most of us aren’t that lucky. 

 

Jim: Oh, I see…

 

Joel: I have things in my closet that are four sizes too small. It’s sad, really. 

 

Simon: This one is stupid too. 

 

Sully: I don’t know how many times I’ve had to clean out my closet because I can’t fit into something anymore. 

 

Rafe: You should start running. It keeps you in excellent health. I even have Henri doing it. 

 

Brown: Yup he does. He puts a collar on me and pulls me along with him. 

 

Dan: I understand this one, totally. 

 

Sam: I stay the same size, no matter what. 

 

Simon: I think it’s time again, Connor. 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat! 

 

Jim: I’ve never forgotten to eat. 

 

Blair: But do skinny people irritate you? 

 

Jim: NO, why should they? 

 

Joel: I never forget to eat and it shows. 

 

Simon: Let’s not get off onto a discussion about weight. 

 

Sully: Yeah, we surely don’t want that. 

 

Rafe: I’ve heard people at the station talk about how they forgot to eat. I’m too hungry by noon to pretend I’m running. 

 

Brown: I think this one’s a little dumb. 

 

Dan: I couldn’t agree with you more, Henri. 

 

Sam: I never forget to eat. 

 

Simon: I’d like to forget about this group sometimes. How about me move on? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

 

Jim: That’s a low blow. 

 

Blair: Yeah, I would never say that about Jim. 

 

Jim: Thanks, I think. 

 

Joel: I would hope that Meggie doesn’t feel this way. 

 

Connor: Not even on your worst day. 

 

Simon: This ones dumb. 

 

Sully: But it’s true sometimes. I’ve seen people married to someone that you wonder, ‘What were they thinking?’

 

Rafe: I think this one’s dumb too. 

 

Brown: I agree with my babe. 

 

Dan: I know that Sam would never feel this way. She’s much too nice of a girl. 

 

Sam: You bet your life, I would never say that to you. 

 

Simon: Connor, do you see the time? 

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Connor: I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day! 

 

Jim: This reminds me of Blair, a little bit. 

 

Blair: It is me. 

 

Joel: I think it sounds like Meggie. 

 

Simon: This one’s dumb too. 

 

Sully: Oh live on the edge and laugh like the rest of us. (Laughs)

 

Rafe: This is Henri. 

 

Brown: Sometimes I worry about it, but evidentially there are more in the group then I thought. 

 

Dan: Sam is like this too, Henri. 

 

Sam: Yes, I am. 

 

Simon: Please tell me that we’re done. 

 

Connor: LIVE SIMPLY.....LAUGH OFTEN....LOVE DEEPLY. 

 

Jim: I love this, Connor. This is a perfect saying for all of us. 

 

Blair: I couldn’t agree more. 

 

Joel: Honey bear, I think we need this for tee-shirts. 

 

Connor: Okay, I’ll have one made for each of us. 

 

Simon: I like this saying too. Especially the love deeply part. 

 

Sully: Just when I think you’re being a butthead, you go and say something like that. You’re wonderful, sweetheart. 

 

Rafe: I love this saying, also. 

 

Brown: I can’t wait to get the tee-shirt. 

 

Dan: Great saying for a great bunch of guys and gals. 

 

Sam: It’s perfect for us. 

 

Simon: Now, are we done?

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

“Yup, we’re all done for the night. Did everyone have a good time?” Connor asked. 

 

Everyone answered, “Yes.”

 

“We’ll see you all tomorrow at the station. Drive careful and don’t forget next week’s is on Tuesday instead of Monday. Thank you for coming,” Megan remarked. 

 

They all said their goodbye’s and then drove home. It was another good evening at Sullivan’s Pub. 

 

Life was good. 

 

The end


	115. More Funny Quotes

Sullivan’s Pub Part 115

More Funny Quotes

By Patt

 

 

Jim and Blair arrived at Sullivan’s early for a change and surprised Joel and Connor. 

 

“What are you doing here already? What will we have to tease you about?” Connor asked laughing happily. 

 

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Blair stated. 

 

“Here comes everyone else, watch their faces when they see you’re here. Where is the damn camera when I need it,” Joel kidded. 

 

“Connor, you don’t have to worry about things to tease us about, Joel’s doing just fine,” Jim said smiling. 

 

“Hi everyone. Jim and Blair were first here tonight, if you can believe it,” Connor said seriously. 

 

Sam laughed and said, “All right, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing is wrong, we’re just tired of you all teasing us every week and decided to get a jump start on being early each time. We’re going to try to anyhow,” Blair explained. 

 

“Sit down, everyone, I have a ton of funny quotes for you and I think most of them are new. So enjoy yourselves. Tell me if they ring true, if they’re stupid or if you’d like a shirt made out of them,” Connor said. 

 

Everyone sat down and talked amongst themselves until Connor said, “Ready?”

 

“We’ve been ready, Connor,” Simon said easily, since he was the official grouch.

 

>>>>

 

Connor: It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 

 

Jim: This is probably more true than we’d care to believe. 

 

Blair: Speak for yourself. (Laughs)

 

Joel: I agree with Jim. 

 

Simon: I think a lot of people are put on this earth for this reason, including Ellison. 

 

Jim: Very funny, Simon. 

 

Sully: Don’t start picking on people already, sweetheart, you have to pace yourself. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Rafe: I think I agree with Jim. 

 

Brown: I don’t get it. 

 

Dan: (Laughs) I don’t either but I still think it’s funny. This group makes everything funny. We don’t have to understand the fucking things. 

 

Sam: Wow, Dan just said fucking. He never says that. 

 

Dan: I’m living on the edge. I’m here to warn people. (Laughs)

 

Simon: Oh goody, we can move on to the next one. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. 

 

Jim: I agree with this one, totally. Sometimes I think we all need a good cry. 

 

Blair: Jim, don’t admit this to everyone, they’ll only tease you about it later. 

 

Jim: How many of you cried or at least got teary eyed when you took one of your kids for their first day in Kindergarten?

 

Blair: Okay, you’re right. 

 

Simon: I didn’t cry. 

 

Sully: I cried enough for both of us, Si. So you’re safe. 

 

Joel: I cried when we took Miss Ellie the first day and I’ll never forget it. Meg cried too. 

 

Rafe: You’re a bunch of wusses. 

 

Brown: Don’t let him kid you, he cried when he watched Bucket List last night. 

 

Dan: Well, that’s understandable, it’s sad. 

 

Sam: I cried when I took the kids their first days of anything. Day care, school, anything. I’ll cry when they start high school and college too. I bet they can’t wait for that. 

 

Jim: I agree with you on all of that, Sam. I’m going to be shedding some tears soon when our kids get to high school. 

 

Simon: I think you’re all nuts. It’s good that their growing up. 

 

Sully: Just keep telling yourself that, Simon. 

 

Simon: Could we get the next one started? 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it. 

 

Jim: I feel like this is totally true. 

 

Blair: That’s because it is. And the phases are going faster and faster as the kids get older. Watch out, Simon, we might shed some tears tonight. 

 

Joel: Don’t tease Simon just because he’s cold and unfeeling. It’s just his personality. 

 

Everyone laughs. 

 

Sully: He’s not cold or unfeeling, he just puts up a good front. 

 

Simon: I agree that life is just a phase and Blair is right, they’re going too fucking fast. 

 

Rafe: Wow, we have too members saying fucking tonight. Sometimes we go the entire time without saying fuck or fucking. We’re off to a good start, Connor. 

 

Brown: (laughs) I agree with Blair on this one. 

 

Jim: Blair is almost always right, guys. 

 

Dan: I agree that Blair is right almost all the time. (Laughs)

 

Sam: Time does go by too fucking fast. Woo Hoo. Four times now. 

 

Simon: Oh look, Connor, it’s time for another one. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. 

 

Jim: Someone want to explain this to me? I don’t get it. 

 

Blair: I don’t really get it either. 

 

Joel: Do you suppose they mean we’re never happy?

 

Simon: That sounds better than what Connor just said. I think Joel is right. 

 

Sully: I’m happy most of the time, so this can’t be true. 

 

Simon: She didn’t say it was true, she just said it was a tragedy. 

 

Rafe: I still don’t get it. It’s a stupid one. 

 

Brown: I agree with Brian. 

 

Dan: It isn’t the best one we’ve had in awhile, is it? 

 

Sam: I think it makes sense after I heard what Joel said. 

 

Jim: But we don’t go through life thinking our life is a tragedy just because something doesn’t go our way, do we? 

 

Blair: Some people might, Jim. Just because we don’t doesn’t mean a thing. 

 

Simon: I think we’ve had enough discussion on this stupid one. On to the next one. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: Everything has been figured out, except how to live. 

 

Jim: This isn’t true. Most of us know exactly how to live and enjoy the hell out of it. 

 

Blair: I agree with Jim, so I think this one is dumb. 

 

Joel: I think that some of us aren’t living as well as we could be. 

 

Simon: Who? Name names, damn it. 

 

Sully: I agree with Joel. 

 

Rafe: I don’t get it and I think it’s stupid. 

 

Brown: So do I. 

 

Dan: Okay, I think this one is pretty good actually. I think that all of us could learn to live better than we do. We just don’t take the time to do it right. 

 

Sam: Even us?

 

Dan: Yeah, even us, Sam. 

 

Simon: I don’t want to discuss this one anymore. Let’s move on to the next one. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat. 

 

Jim: I do feel like a rat sometimes. This one is true. 

 

Blair: You’re not a rat, Jim. Ever. 

 

Jim: Well, in the race itself, we sometimes become one. I feel like it sometimes. 

 

Joel: Meg, are these all this depressing? 

 

Connor: No, some are worse. (laughs)

 

Simon: Who put you in charge of this anyhow? I think we should rethink it. (Laughs)

 

Sully: We don’t thank you enough for these wonderful get-to-gethers. I always have a good time, or at least enjoy someone squirming in their seat. 

 

Rafe: Isn’t that the truth? 

 

Brown: I forgot the damn quote now. (Laughs)

 

Dan: I enjoy these survey’s too, so never stop, Megan. 

 

Sam: I’m going back to the quote. I don’t think any of you would pass as a rat in a rat race. So there. 

 

Dan: Sam has spoken, no one argue with her. She’s PMS-ing big time. 

 

Sam: Oh shush, I am not. He’s kidding everyone, no need to back away from me. (laughing)

 

Simon: Well, this rat would like to go to the next one if you don’t mind. 

 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. 

 

Jim: I think this is somewhat true, until it comes to our kids. The thought of Jade dating or even Drake dating makes me sick to my stomach. And I can usually take a lot before I get sick. 

 

Blair: He worries about this all the time. I keep telling him we have plenty of time to worry, why start now?

 

Joel: So basically you disagree with the shred of evidence that they speak of?

 

Jim: I guess I do. 

 

Simon: I’m with Jim. It’s never to soon to worry about our children dating. My god, its right around the corner. 

 

Sully: Jim, he does worry just like you. And he drives me nuts. I always tell him life is too short to be that serious. 

 

Rafe: But when it comes to the kids, Sully, life is serious. 

 

Brown: Oh don’t even get this man started. He’s freaking out about everything lately when it has to do with the kids. 

 

Dan: Is everything all right? 

 

Rafe: Everything is fine, I just worry a lot. 

 

Sam: Well, if you need us for anything, honey, you know where we are. 

 

Brown: Thanks, everyone. He’s just been freaking out about Remington lately. He’s having a very hard time in school and Brian blames himself for not helping him enough. 

 

Jim: We can all help tutor him, you know? 

 

Rafe: Thanks, I might ask for more help from all of you. 

 

Sam: Don’t worry about a thing, Brian. We’re here for you. 

 

Rafe: Thank you…

 

Simon: Is that the sound of another quote coming our way? 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you. 

 

Blair: Jim says this one all the time. I think I need this for a tee shirt for him. 

 

Jim: I do say this all the time. 

 

Joel: That’s because it’s fucking true. 

 

Simon: Joel, is something wrong with you tonight?

 

Joel: Why? 

 

Sully: Because that’s the second time you’ve said fucking. You usually don’t even cuss. Simon must be worried about you. 

 

Simon glares at Sully. 

 

Joel: I’m fine, just felt like venting some is all. 

 

Connor: You need to vent? Why? What’s wrong, honeybear?

 

Joel: I just had a really lousy day at work today. Nothing to worry about. 

 

Rafe: Well if you need to talk, we’re all here. 

 

Brown: I think this saying makes perfect sense. 

 

Rafe: Hell I forgot the saying again. (Laughs)

 

Dan: We worry about you, Joel, so talk if you need to. We can do the survey anytime. 

 

Sam: Yeah, what he said. 

 

Joel: Thanks, everyone. I just had a crappy day. Believe me this is helping a great deal. 

 

Simon: On that note, let's move this on so Joel can get home tonight. 

 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them. 

 

Joel: Okay, this is perfect, babe. I would like this made into a tee shirt. 

 

Jim: Me too. 

 

Blair: I agree with both of them. 

 

Simon: I think we all agree, so we could move on to the next one. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: You know, it's a long world. 

 

Jim: Does this mean that life seems to go on forever and ever? Because if that’s what it means, I disagree.

 

Blair: I think it might mean that. And I disagree too. 

 

Joel: Sometimes I do think it’s a long world. So it can be right sometimes. 

 

Jim: Maybe you’re right, Joel. 

 

Simon: Of course he’s right. He’s the oldest, knows the most and has been in this long world a long, long, long time. (Laughing)

 

Sully: Very funny, Simon. You’re only a few years younger than Joel, so you better hush up before everyone teases you too. 

 

Rafe: I believe it’s sometimes a long world, too. 

 

Brown: I like this saying. I don’t know why, I just do. 

 

Dan: I think it’s a pretty long world most of the time. 

 

Sam: I do too. 

 

Simon: Oh look, we get to move on to the next one. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out. 

 

Jim: This is true, big time. 

 

Blair: I totally agree and our pot is full. 

 

Joel: (Laughs) I think most of us do put a lot in the pot so that our lives will be richer. I know we do. 

 

Simon: I think this one is sort of stupid. 

 

Sully: Oh Simon, I can’t believe you feel that way. I love this saying. 

 

Rafe: I do too, Sully. 

 

Brown: And I agree with Joel, big time. 

 

Dan: Our lives are full and rich, so we put into that pot whenever we can. 

 

Sam: I love all of you. 

 

Simon: What does that have to do with anything?

 

Sam: I’m putting more into the pot of life. 

 

Jim: I love you too, Sam. I love you all. 

 

Simon: Oh for gods sake. Let’s stop now before we all get mushy. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: Born to be wild - live to outgrow it. 

 

Jim: This is Blair. Need I say more? 

 

Blair: I’m the only wild one here? I beg to differ. 

 

Joel: No, Megan is here and she’s wild enough for the both of us. 

 

Simon: But when will she outgrow it? 

 

Sully: Hopefully never. That’s the way I feel about me. 

 

Rafe: I couldn’t agree with you more. 

 

Simon: With me? 

 

Rafe: Not hardly. With your fun and wild wife. 

 

Brown: I agree with her too. 

 

Dan: Sam is wild enough for both of us too. 

 

Sam: Wild? Me? I think you’re thinking of someone else. 

 

Jim: Yeah, that’s it, we’re thinking of someone else. (Laughs)

 

Simon: Oh look, another one is done. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination. 

 

Jim: I don’t even begin to understand this one. 

 

Blair: Well you have the physique for it. (Laughs)

 

Joel: Don’t feel lonely, Jim, I don’t get it either. 

 

Simon: So this one is stupid, right? 

 

Sully: We just don’t understand it. 

 

Rafe: I think it sounds bad. 

 

Brown: I think it is bad. 

 

Dan: Oh hell, let's say it means something else and be happy about it. 

 

Sam: That’s my Danny, always trying to make things better. 

 

Simon: And here am I always telling Connor to move things along. (Snickers)

 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER." 

 

Jim: Boy, this one’s true. 

 

Blair: Wait a minute. If someone from another world came to our house, I think they would be happy. We’d feed them, we’d play poker with them, we’d let them play with our children and basically just let them share in our lives. 

 

Joel: (Laughs) And you think they would feel like they wouldn’t need to see the manager? 

 

Blair: I am the manager. 

 

Everyone laughs.

 

Simon: I think we’re screwy, so we would scare the crap out of anyone that came around. 

 

Sully: I disagree. I’m with Blair on this and I must be the manager. 

 

Rafe: I agree with Blair on this too. 

 

Brown: Wow, did you hear that, Sandburg? 

 

Blair: Yes, I did and I’m impressed. 

 

Dan: I think we all have a lot to share with another world, so I agree with Blair and everyone else but Simon. 

 

Sam: (Laughs) Oh Simon, stop giving him dirty looks, you know he’s kidding. 

 

Dan: No, I’m not. 

 

Simon: Then I guess we can move this along. Are we just about done? 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. 

 

Jim: (Slides out of his chair and falls on the floor laughing his ass off)

 

Blair: I agree with Jim. 

 

Simon: Jim didn’t say anything. 

 

Blair: His laughter was enough. 

 

Joel: I agree with Jim too. Babe, that was funny. 

 

Sully: I loved it. We should have a plaque made up with this on it. 

 

Rafe: I loved it too. 

 

Brown: The world certainly isn’t dull most of the time. 

 

Dan: I loved this one too, Megan. 

 

Sam: (Can’t stop laughing)

 

Simon: Are we almost done?

 

>>>>

 

Connor: All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. 

 

Jim: Boy, are you right on this one. I feel like I needed to study most of the time. 

 

Blair: Babe, you’re not as bad as you think. 

 

Joel: I feel like I needed to study more too, Jim. 

 

Simon: We make the best out of what we were given and we all do just fine. 

 

Sully: My god, was that a compliment? I swear it was. 

 

Rafe: I think it was too. What are you sick tonight or something? 

 

Simon: I can take it back, it’s not too late. (Growling)

 

Brown: We already heard it, it’s too late to take it back. 

 

Dan: Thank you, Simon. 

 

Sully: Yes, thank you. 

 

Simon: Geeze, could we please move this along. It’s getting mushy again. 

 

>>>>

 

Connor: In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. 

 

Jim: This is so true, like it or not, we like to live. 

 

Blair: I can’t imagine my life without all of you in it. Thank you. 

 

Simon: Oh for Christ’s sake, what brought that on?

 

Joel: I think he’s just thankful for life in general. 

 

Blair: Yeah, what he said. 

 

Sully: We’re glad to be your friends, so there is no need to thank us. 

 

Rafe: You need to thank me. You owe me a lot for taking over that stakeout the other night. (Laughs)

 

Brown: Life is great, isn’t it? 

 

Dan: I see so much death that life means even more to me, I think. 

 

Sam: Oh hush, we love life just as much as you do. 

 

Simon: Now we must be done. 

 

>>>>

 

“Yes, we are officially done. I hope you all had a good time,” Connor said hopefully. 

 

“I had a wonderful time, Megan. Thank you,” Jim stated. 

 

“I had a great time, too,” Blair commented. 

 

Joel said, “We always have fun with these things, honey. You do a good job finding them. 

 

“Well, we need to get home. Matthew is running a little fever and we need to be sure he’s all right,” Simon remarked. 

 

Sully sighed and said, “I’m sure he’s fine or the sitter would have called. God, you’re such a worrier.”

 

“Well, good night, everyone, it was great getting together again this week,” Rafe said. 

 

“Let us know how Matthew is doing tomorrow,” Brown fussed. 

 

Dan said, “Would you like me to stop by and look at him on the way home?”

 

Simon smiled and said, “Would you?”

 

“Sure. We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Sam agreed. 

 

Connor smiled and said, “See you all tomorrow.”

 

Joel helped her get everything together and then they left for the night. They were followed by everyone else and before long the room was empty. 

 

This was a great room, these were grand people. Life was indeed good. 

 

The end


End file.
